Chapter Text
Act I: Zhang Hao and the Hole Cycle Anomaly
The blank document mocked him. Nearly 2 whole weeks of attempting to write the script of his new upcoming, well-anticipated, short film and he still has squat. Not even just squat, it was diddly squat. Pathetic, really.
Zhang Hao, the internet’s 21 year old cinema prodigy, had no tricks left up his sleeve. He hated the thought of that, for people to think he was just someone who got internet famous once for writing and directing a short film about two best friends having dinner and recalling the moments of their past where they failed to get together.
It went viral on Tiktok after his friend Ricky posted a dance with his co-star, Jiwoong. Since then, people have waited eagerly for Hao’s films.
The next one he released was about a broke college student who ends up accidentally becoming a serial killer—Gyuvin’s performance was spectacular in that one. The one after that was a project he worked on with a freshman named Yujin about a bedridden teenager daydreaming about all the things he could be if he wasn’t dying.
He even found his best cinematographer yet, this one freshman, Park Gunwook through Yujin. He had Gunwook work with him again on his most recent work which was also a reunion with Jiwoong. Though it was a bit of a more mellow film, it was a narration about a student who can’t communicate in sentences, only through singing songs.
Each and every one of them did very well, numbers were through the roof on his youtube channel, impressively so. And his followers couldn’t wait to see what he puts out next.
The only problem is so was he.
Hao cussed out his laptop screen and let out a long and over exaggerated sigh. He whipped out his phone and decided to just give up for the night. The internet was NOT gonna like this.
The internet knew about Hao and his constant struggle to write this piece, his very first piece of fantasy. He wasn’t exactly famous online but he was at least well known enough for people to actually fund his silly little movies and anticipate them.
Now, after a weak attempt at writing anything that wasn’t the title (or at least a variant of it), Hao had decided to flop onto his bed and just scroll around twitter like he had no other pending responsibilities hanging over his head. This diva.
Hao (should be asleep) 💤
@zzzkyy
#HLWILY is beating my ass nobody told me writing fantasy was gonna be this hard
filmchick @ilikemoviesfrfr
Replying to @zzzkyy
KEEP GOING KINGG U CAN DO IT
ayaya @nandemonayayaya
Replying to @zzzkyy
manifesting more ricky shen plzplzplpzIplzplzplzplz RICKY IN A DIR ZHANG FANTASY FILM WOULD EAT SO BAD
sunny @yitshadee
Replying to @zzzkyy
ZHANGHAO CINEMATIC UNIVERSE PLS
COME HOMEEEE PLEZZZZZ PLZZZZZZ
NEED IT SAUR BAAADDDDD
taerae 🐥@kktraeee
Replying to @zzzkyy
have u tried getting some dick
Rik 🖤 @louvrick_
Replying to @kktraeee
IJBOL 😭no but have u tho…
gyuvin 🥭@thevinity
Replying to @zzzkyy
at least smth's touching ur ass
Yuj the great and powerful @hanjuy2dwrld
Replying to @zzzkyy
flop era lol 👎👎👎
Rik 🖤 @louvrick_
Replying to @zzzkyy
get laid 4 inspo !! woah who said that
taerae 🐥@kktraeee
Replying to @louvrick_ and @zzzkyy
must've been the wind...
Again, with this little inside joke of theirs. His friends had somehow convinced themselves that Hao was uninspired because he wasn’t getting laid. They had a whole conspiracy theory about it.
Apparently according to Ricky and Taerae, the inspiration for many of Hao’s best works is dependent on how good and just how much sex he’s actually having. They’ve discussed it way too often now that they could’ve practically written a research paper on it.
Good day, ladies and gentlemen of the panel, we are Shen Ricky and Kim Taerae from the film department. Today, we are glad to present our research paper entitled, “Zhang Hao and His H(a)ole: Examining the Relationship Between Film Prodigy Zhang Hao’s Sex Life and His Films Throughout the Years.”
According to expert researchers, Shen and Kim, the grounds for this paper came from the idea that every time Hao was working on a new project, he would always experience the same three steps consecutively. Ricky and Taerae referred to them as Hao’s Hole Cycle.
Step 1 was always him meeting some new, hot, heartbreaker with a bad history of at least one of the following: cheating, mommy issues, rebounding, or—Ricky’s personal favorite—men with weird kinks.
Step 2 was to either have the absolute best or the absolute worst and weirdest sex with these men. Taerae and Ricky could tell the quality of the sex by a few factors.
If the sex was mindblowing, Hao’s first instinct would be to post an ig story of him in bed with that post sex glow and his best bedroom eyes followed by a message to their group chat containing the words “ethereal”, “godsent”, and the expression, “GOOOOODDD DICK.” in all caps.
If the sex was bad, weird, or in some cases boring as hell, Hao would proceed to ramble on his close friends story about how he’s never having sex again. Then soon after, a nearly 12 paragraph message would be sent to their group chat about how Hao thinks he’s gonna die alone or about how he’s never gonna find love again.
Step 3 would then be the inevitable heartbreak that would follow. Depending on how much Hao liked them and how good the sex was, he would cry it out and then resort to watching his comfort movies and leaving yet another review on letterboxd about what he learned from that relationship and how that movie was exactly what he needed.
Then, of course, the inspiration would come so suddenly to Hao. Sometimes it came in the middle of him crying it out or the ungodly hours of the night or even sometimes when he’s in class. But it would come, it always did.
Ricky and Taerae joked about it a lot but truly, they just really wanted Hao to find happiness, true happiness. Maybe that way, finally one of his movies would have a happy ending. After all, legend has it that the only way that Hao’s Hole Cycle would come to an eventual end would be if Hao actually and finally falls in love with the right person.
It had been over 8 months now since Hao’s Hole Cycle reached Step 3, which meant that the cycle was in its stagnant phase. One of these days, it was bound to start again. Ricky and Taerae had both expected Hao to be on his usual schedule of reviewing movies like it depended on his life during the Hole Cycle’s stagnation.
But to everyone’s surprise, Hao was starting a new script.
This was groundbreaking news for everyone subscribed to the Hole Cycle Theory (aka just Ricky, Taerae, and sometimes against his will, Gyuvin). This was one of those moments that was never before seen in human history. What do you mean Zhang Hao was writing a new script out of nowhere?
A real script too, not one of those weird ones he would write on a whim about random shit like the perspective of an earthworm witnessing a zombie apocalypse.
And this was no joke, he pitched the plot to Jiwoong the other day during a casual lunch and Jiwoong swore he was moved to tears by the outline alone. It was a beautiful plot, it really was. That was what Hao’s works were known for anyway, incredible plots, creative acting direction, stunning cinematography direction, and a budget of practically peanuts.
Hao was sitting on gold with that script, that was his magnum opus, his Mona Lisa, his baby, his actual real biological child.
The inspiration came to him, not during a heartbreak, not in the middle of him writing his 9th review of a Wong Kar Wai movie on letterboxd, but in the beginning of winter break. Hao was packing up his suitcase on the day before his flight back to Fujian when he realized he had left his water bottle in his last class in one of the biggest and oldest classrooms at their university.
He decided to walk back to the building and fetch his water bottle in the classroom right before they close the building and it was there that he first saw it: the oldest classroom on campus basked in the orange light of the setting sun. He wondered briefly how many souls had met and fell in love in this classroom, how many lives were changed, how many families were made. Through his whole flight back to Fujian, that was all he could think about.
On his first night back in his childhood home, he opened the door to see his parents laughing and hugging like they were still just teenagers in love, like no time had passed them at all. That first night back in Fujian was spent writing the outline of his next film.
But now, after a few weeks of refining the plot and tweaking such and such, Hao had reached a somewhat slump.
“I’m telling you, ge, maybe it’s really just what you need. There’s no shame in that.” Ricky said in his corporate voice as he continued typing minutes on his laptop, the little click-clacks echoing through his microphone.
“I am not going to look for a fuck buddy just so I can write my film, Ricky.”
“Why not? Doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea.” Taerae took a break from cleaning out his desk to join in their conversation.
“‘Why not?’ Because I’m trying to finish a script, not let a man finish off in me. I mean seriously, I’ve barely gotten anything done at all. And this is serious too, Professor Jung already said I should submit this one for the final output instead of the one I wrote about frogs.” Hao watched Ricky’s face suddenly change through his phone screen.
“So your little passion project has a deadline now? Dude, way to kill it.” Hao groaned. Ricky was right, he was doomed. Doomed with a capital D.
“When’s it due?” Taerae sighed in defeat, anticipating the inevitable ask to join Hao’s crew once again.
“Like three months from now? Something like that.” Taerae and Ricky made a bunch of noise of disappointment, frustration, whatever else there was to express.
“How far along are you exactly?” Taerae set down his glasses and listened to the rest of what Hao had to say.
“Barely even halfway through act 1.”
“Read it to us.” Ricky watched Hao make an awkward expression. “What? What’s that face?”
“Okay, fine, I’ll read it. But don’t judge me, okay?” Hao cleared his throat and fixed his eyes on the document on his laptop screen. “Interior - Day. Jian is asleep on his desk. Jian through VO: I was 18 when I first realized what I was doing wrong in my life.” He turned back to his phone screen and shrugged. “That’s it, that’s all I’ve got.”
“Oh!” Ricky forced a smile. “It’s…got potential.”
“No, man, you’re doomed.” Taerae said bluntly.
“Fucking knew it.” Hao dramatically threw his head back on his desk chair. For the rest of their weekly gossipy video call that evening, Hao’s responses had been a string of noises, he was clearly upset. Not the best mood to be in during their weekly gossipy video calls.
Getting into writing slumps was something that happened to everybody, it was normal. That didn’t mean Hao still didn’t hate it though. He absolutely loathed this kind of thing.
Anything that had to do with something getting in the way of his writing or creating, anything that interrupted his plans in any way shape or form were grounds for him to throw a fit. And Hao had an interesting way of doing such. Instead of just stomping, whining, screaming, he had a rather interesting way of letting off some steam.
On a platform named Letterboxd, an app where anyone can log in the movies they’ve watched, leave reviews and star ratings, as well as make collections and talk about anything and everything related to film and movies, was where Hao found most of his stress relievers.
He had been doing this for a while, since he was 16 really. Since then, he has garnered approximately 12k followers on the app. People seemed to really love his reviews, maybe because he often wrote them when he was either drunk, bored, or heartbroken, which were really just Hao in his most iconic moments.
But when he’s not leaving bitter reviews on Cats (2019) or sobbing reviews on Happy Together (1997), then he would be scrolling through the low star reviews of his Letterboxd Top 4.
It was his guilty pleasure, he wasn’t proud of it by any means, but it really did make him feel better to hear the opinions of people who never understood the movie. It made him feel smarter, made him feel somewhat more superior and that’s just the kind of thing he needed in times like these.
He was starting to feel better about 5 minutes into his scroll through the 2 star reviews after someone had compared Wong Kar Wai’s In The Mood For Love (2000)—Hao’s absolute favorite post-exams comfort movie—to Titanic and said something about how many times they fell asleep to it.
He was almost ready to finally set down his phone and go back to attempting to write the rest of his script when one particular review by user ssonghambim caught his eye.
A psych major? A psych major was reviewing In The Mood For Love and was talking about what a real yearner was.
Now it wasn’t that Hao was bothered by the fact that this user ssonghambim gave the movie 3 and a half stars or called the characters cowards for not kissing in the film. Hao was used to seeing bad reviews as in the absolute worst takes someone could possibly have about a movie.
That was like the whole point of him scrolling through the low rated reviews, it was so that he would make himself feel better after surrounding himself with idiots.
But this user ssonghambim, a supposed psych major—someone whose literal job is to analyze the brain and read between the lines—called somebody in an oppressive community, a conservative time, an emotionally abusive relationship, and in a heartbreaking situation a COWARD of all things.
It was like hearing your therapist call you a coward for being anxious. It was ethically and morally misaligned in so many ways.
It wasn’t uncommon for Hao to leave comments to call out people for this sort of thing. He would often start discussions with people on twitter or through letterboxd replies like this, he was used to it, sometimes it made him feel even better about himself too.
He stopped doing so a while ago though, he can’t exactly remember why he told himself to stop but after much consideration, he decided that it wouldn’t hurt to try it again anyway.
When he finally left a comment on this user ssonghambim’s review, he was starting to remember why he put himself on a ban for replying to people’s reviews on that damn app.
What came after was something Hao wasn’t exactly proud of but what can he do? Hao will be Hao. And his impulsive ass mouth will always be a part of him.
It just so happens that the person he had replied to was unlike any of the other users he had argued with on that app because he, too, had Hao’s bad case of can’t-shut-the-fuck-up-tivitis.
What happened next was just inevitable.
Act II: Sung Hanbin and the Can’t Hit Crisis
“No, no, you’re not listening to me.” Hanbin planted his two hands down on the table in front of him. “I can’t do this shit. Like I actually cannot, for the life of me, write a paper about three whole movies.”
“You’re exaggerating, it’s just a couple of movies. What’s the big deal?” Gyuvin grabbed Hanbin’s laptop and read the instructions on the assignment tab on Canvas.
“It’s movies, that’s the big deal. I could’ve been assigned three albums, three paintings, three books, but no…three movies! It’s not even just movies, actually, they’re old indie Asian movies. You know the type, right? The ones everyone had a DVD of but never actually paid attention to.” Hanbin started pacing around his dorm.
“I’m screwed. I just know it. I have the attention span of a goldfish. How am I supposed to sit through three movies and analyze whatever the hell is going on inside the director’s head? Seriously?” He threw himself onto his couch with a deep breath. “Stupid art therapy class. I should’ve taken it last semester like Matthew did.”
“Seriously, it really isn’t all that bad.” Gyuvin really tried to make him feel better. That was just the kind of friend Gyuvin was to him.
Hanbin and Gyuvin had gone through a lot of ups and downs through the years. Meeting only when they were in middle school and eventually hating each other enough to love each other for years to come. They were each other’s source of constant support, even during their awkward teen years.
Gyuvin considered it a perk, considering just how well-liked Hanbin was wherever he went. He had this quality about him, you see, everyone knew it. He was the type of person to always get what he wants just by existing.
Sung Hanbin was a walking billboard for pretty privilege.
The amount of times he had walked into a cafe with Gyuvin and Matthew and got them free drinks or free pastries just because he flashed a smile at the cashier. It was one of Hanbin’s selling points, one of the reasons Gyuvin loyally stayed by his side.
WTS, LFB: Sung Hanbin, age 20, psych major, local Cheonan made pretty boy, can get free drinks anywhere.
He knew it too. He knew the effect he had on people and he used it well. It’s how he became the student council president in high school, it’s how he got a job at a local Burger King, it’s how he became the president of their department’s dance organization, it’s how he got into that said organization, it’s how he recruited people into that organization.
That man was smart, he used his assets well and he would constantly prove that he’s deserving of whatever it is he wanted in the first place.
You’d think because of that, Hanbin would be the luckiest person on god’s green earth. He had the vibe for it, he definitely looked like all he’s ever known was luck. But that’s where the illusion ends and Gyuvin was among the only people in the world to see that.
Gyuvin has witnessed Hanbin’s core—the very thing that makes his innate Hanbin-ness come out—his once in a blue moon level of yearning and of course the misfortune that came with it.
To put it simply, no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t get laid.
It was why he threw himself into his academics. People thought he was just somebody who really enjoyed studying or was just naturally smart. That was because nobody ever saw him during his sleepless nights, nobody ever saw his calculus crash outs, his exam season mood swings, or his “I’m gonna die a virgin if I can’t memorize this and that” rants at 4 AM.
Only Gyuvin and Matthew had witnessed all of that—against their will, yes, but they witnessed it nonetheless.
And witnessing Cheonan Pretty Boy’s loser crash outs meant witnessing quite possibly his absolute worst yearner’s rants as well. Worst was an understatement actually, his level of yearning was so terribly severe that it just couldn’t be described with any word in any language of any dictionary ever.
Gyuvin and Matthew found it very entertaining though, don’t get them wrong. Gyuvin had gotten used to it, especially during Hanbin’s 2 year crush on their basketball team captain in high school where he had been the number one victim of Hanbin’s pining rants.
But for Matthew, this was honestly his favorite show. Romcoms had never been the same again for Matthew after he met Hanbin and experienced the terrible rollercoaster ride of witnessing Hanbin’s romantic non-relationships with his very eyes. Among his favorite moments on the show he liked to call, Sung Hanbin’s Virgin Ventures, were the following:
“I would rather die than see him with a man impossibly uglier than him.”
- 1st year Sung Hanbin with situationship no. 46.
“Sorry boys, he’s just not the one. He said he doesn’t bottom…who’s gonna tell him…”
- Sung Hanbin, 2 tequila shots in, leaving a house party after accidentally making out with a guy he referred to as someone with a chronic bottom face
“Do you guys think I’ll ever find love even if I become a zebra?” - Post wisdom tooth removal Sung Hanbin
There were definitely more but these just pretty much summed up Hanbin and his love misfortunes really well. Matthew and Gyuvin had a lot to say about his misfortunes.
Give them a whiteboard, a marker, and 2 hours, and they could easily discuss and argue about every single aspect of why Hanbin was constantly unfortunate when it came to love.
Thus, the Cheonan Pretty Boy Can’t Hit Crisis discourse came to be.
Calling on the first speaker for the “It’s a Hanbin problem” party, Kim Gyuvin, to the stand. His argument stood on the grounds that it was Hanbin’s own fault that his love life was as unfortunate as can be because of his impossibly high standards for dating.
Exhibit A: Sung Hanbin’s Pinned Note on his Notes App entitled “Hanbin’s Extra-specific Husband Criteria (Separate from the Obvious)”
- smart, witty, funny so they can keep up w my humor
- HOT AS HELL please god send me your hottest twink out there
- a damn good kisser, preferably a top lip kisser (bonus points for knowing tongue stuff)
- willing to get spoiled/won’t mind gifts or constant meals
- spontaneous but highly organized!!!
- must not get easily hot when cuddling
- open to shower sex…haha pls
- pls be silly even during sex
- likes to kiss even after sex, like immediately after sex
- dog person. how r u supposed to raise a dog with me if ur not a dog person
- talks to ddungjjungham and gives him a voice too
- kinda weird but I did say extra specific but I hope they like their coffee black
Not to mention that his basic criteria consisted of already high standards. No wonder he can’t find a boyfriend, he’s basically asking for a fictional person at this point.
Though truthfully, it’s not like Hanbin was too closed off for hookups or one-night stands. It was just that Hanbin never really got to that stage with anyone out of sheer circumstance. Which brings us to Gyuvin’s second point.
Exhibit B: Hanbin often got into situationships, talking stages, drunken makeouts while still having the mentality that he would only fuck somebody who verbally asked for it.
Consent was everything to him and he wanted whoever he was about to fuck be oh-so-painfully clear about it and verbally clarify if he would be okay to whatever kind of freaky shit Hanbin would be into. Which of course was why the circumstance never came to be. Because who in their right mind would still be hard by the time Hanbin gets to the 23rd bullet point of what he wants to do.
To conclude, Sung Hanbin treated relationships and sex like they were bound by contract. In other words, he’s just fully incapable of doing anything “casually.”
Now, for the opposition. Calling Seok Matthew from the “It’s just not the right person or the right time” party to the stand. Matthew’s argument was that every single one of Hanbin’s situationships were never on the same level as him in multiple ways.
Exhibit A: Sung Hanbin’s situationship no. 37, some guy named Hwang something or other (they can’t really keep track of the names anymore after Hanbin surpassed situationship no. 16 in 11th grade).
In this particular case, Hanbin believed they were on the same page about dating. He thought it was clear to both of them that Hanbin was a date-to-marry type of person. But because of how Hanbin had worded it, the guy apparently thought that Hanbin meant he would only date married men.
Hanbin was ghosted 2 days later.
Exhibit B: Sung Hanbin’s situation no. 29, alias “the one that got away”
Hanbin met this boy in nearly all the perfect circumstances, he even knew how to do the tongue stuff that made Hanbin go crazy. Hanbin was almost ready to formally ask him to be his boyfriend when the boy admitted to Hanbin that he was getting engaged. The boy’s parents were traditional, they wanted an arranged marriage to a woman.
Hanbin offered to run away with the boy, he really was willing to ditch everything. They had arranged to meet up at a train station and Hanbin waited all night long but the boy never came. The last that Hanbin heard from him was a simple message that said enough. “Live happily, Hanbin.” Two days later, the boy got married.
Tragic, really. But not nearly as tragic as…
Exhibit C: the one person whose name those three would never forget, Park Suho.
Hanbin’s first kiss. The one who was going to ask Hanbin to finally be his boyfriend. He met him in freshman year and lost him 3 months later. He died in a car accident on the same day he was planning on asking Hanbin to officially be a couple.
It took him months to grieve, months to get over it all, but he bounced back eventually after Suho’s mom told him to keep looking for love, Suho will guide him to find the right one eventually.
So yeah, Hanbin was unfortunate. In silly ways, in serious ways, in oh so many different ways. But he never stopped searching for love, he never gave up, he never stopped wanting love. Real love.
But if he was being honest here, it was starting to get increasingly difficult to put himself out there because of his tendency to throw himself onto his academics whenever he got frustrated with love and sex and everything in between.
Which brings us back to why Hanbin was so incredibly stressed at the assignment he was given. He had to get a good score here, he just had to. It was one of the only non-sexual things that satiated his libido. But he knew that would be impossible considering the nature of the task.
Movies were his weak point, you see. Not only because of his notoriously short attention span but also because he found it difficult to keep up with people who were so clearly superficially written. As a psych major, he could spot the inaccuracies from a mile away, since then it’s been so distracting for him. Movies were never the same again after Hanbin signed up to be a psych major.
“Come on, this is totally doable, okay?” Gyuvin set down the laptop on Hanbin’s coffee table. “Tell you, what. Why don’t we just ask our good friend ChatGPT—”
“Hell no.” Hanbin said firmly. “That bitch is trying to take my job as a therapist. Never cross boundaries with the enemy.”
“Fine, then!” Gyuvin held his hands up in surrender until a little tiny lightbulb sparked over him. “Oh, I can’t believe I haven’t thought about this sooner. There’s this one app…” Gyuvin typed aggressively on Hanbin’s keyboard (a trait he subconsciously adapted from Ricky). “It’s a place where you can basically read everyone’s reviews and thoughts about the movies, mostly just an app for cinephiles so I doubt your professor will know. Just take inspiration from what other people have to say about the films and there you go.”
Hanbin stared at the screen for an awkwardly long amount of time.
Letterboxd, huh?
The night after Gyuvin’s visit at his dorm for their weekly chicken and chisme dinners, Hanbin had decided to actually give Gyuvin’s idea a chance.
After browsing around the reviews of the movies on letterboxd’s Popular This Week page, he decided it was apparently much less serious than he thought it was. There were some people who made long essay form reviews that were dead serious but then there were people like user bangchanssock that made it feel like he was just scrolling around on twitter.
Eventually, he started with making a profile.
______________________________________
Join Letterboxd
Email address: sunghanbitna316@/zeemail.com
Username: ssonghambim
Password: •••••••••••••••••
______________________________________
He selected his same default profile pic for just about anything, a photo taken by Gyuvin of him in New York with ddungjjungham. That should be good, he thought.
Took him a while to actually get things started when the app gave him a bunch of movies to swipe around that he got distracted with and played it like it was a less offensive and judgmental version of any dating app ever.
After he got through that mess, he arrived at the option to add a bio. He kept it blunt: here to steal ppl’s reviews for an essay, idk shit about movies.
A not so subtle way of asking for permission but not really.
And then, it came. The option to set up his Top 4. Hanbin had quickly learned from a bunch of film commentary youtubers that the four movies you decide to put on your profile for everyone to see were the four most important things you could possibly present to the public.
But Hanbin didn’t really give a fuck, he was only here to steal a bunch of people’s opinions on Wong Kar Wai movies, he wasn’t trying to pick up a random cinephile twink.
He chose way too honestly though. Here was how he justified his decisions:
The Book of Life (2014) : Aka the only musical that Hanbin could stomach. It was kind of silly, but he really did find this movie moving. It almost got bumped by The Perks of Being A Wallflower (2012) but he just couldn’t bring himself not to add Manolo the OG Yearner. The movie made him cry and it actually apparently addressed grief and how it affects romantic relationships, so plus points for that.
Your Name Engraved Herein (2020): Maybe because it was based on real people but he really did find it moving and poetic how the ending was something that nobody could ever tell if it was real or simply a dream. The only movie he’s watched so far that fully understood what it felt like to yearn for something that could be possible, if only in another lifetime.
Love, Rosie (2014): He lowkey only added that in there for Sam Claflin. He kinda hated how the characters were written but the plot? Oh that made up for it all. Alex gets it. Alex knows what it’s like to yearn for real. He had the Sung Hanbin stamp of yearner’s approval.
About Time (2013): This is love. The only movie, ONLY movie, in existence that made him sit down and watch everything with his full attention span. The only movie that made him forget about psychoanalyzing any of the characters. The only movie that perfectly expressed everything he ever knew and felt about love.
And there it finally was, his complete profile. The next day, he decided to start watching a movie from the director that was assigned to him—the infamous, Wong Kar Wai.
If he was being honest, he had no idea who this man was. He had never heard this man’s name before but apparently stills of his movies are everywhere on Tiktok so he must be cool.
Hanbin scrolled through Mr. Wong’s filmography and recognized one of the posters. In The Mood For Love (2000), a movie that was coincidentally playing in his dentist’s waiting room last week. He seemed to like the description, he knew for sure this had to be the epitome of yearning. Oh forbidden love and its tight grip on Sung Hanbin.
He started the movie after he just finished a shower, now all clean and ready for a good time, he finally pressed play. He didn’t know what to expect, really. He half-expected some mind blowing artistry, and half-expected an absolute heart wrenching scene that would make him sob down to his knees considering how much praise the movie got in the reviews.
He waited for it eagerly, he told himself that maybe the gut-wrenching scene will be when they finally get together and kiss or if one of them dies. He had to slap himself once or twice just to make sure he wasn’t falling asleep and accidentally miss the big moment. Then when the last 10 minutes of the film rolled around, Hanbin started to get…fussy.
Where was the big moment? Where was the big sobbing scene? Are they saving it for the last 10 minutes? Don’t tell him that it wasn’t gonna happen, there’s just no way. The letterboxd reviews kept talking about how sad and how they’re crying and all, someone even left a review that garnered around 1,300 likes that was simply some guy saying “HEY SO WHY THE FUCK AM I CRYING AGAIN?” With like a hundred skull emojis.
10 more minutes had passed by and Hanbin was stunned. He just wasted 98 minutes of his life. That was 98 minutes he was never getting back again.
All because he fell for some review by a user zhao the good witch and his 100 skulls. Whoever this idiot was probably had a hell of a miserable life to find this boring ass movie absolutely wrecking.
There was barely any plot there. He was pissed like hell. Hanbin was baited into watching a movie that was apparently “peak yearning” but failed to do the one thing any yearner in just about every movie gets. A BIG FAT CRYING KISS SCENE.
He hated his professor for this. How could that man do this to him? How could he make Hanbin watch some artsy movie where nothing ever happens and expect him to write a 10 page paper on it. This man was insane.
Everybody who ever recommended this movie to him was insane. He pulled out the star rating button so fast and gave it a good 3 and a half stars—which was Hanbin’s nice way of giving this movie a 2 star review (he was too afraid to do it, much like the characters who were too afraid to even touch).
Hanbin was a very well structured person, everything is organized to him, everything is in order for him. But much like item number 5 in Exhibit A of Gyuvin’s Can’t Hit Crisis argument, Hanbin was a very spontaneous person. And that spontaneity often came out when he was bursting with too much emotion.
And right now, he was angry as hell. How could he have wasted 98 minutes of his life on a movie that didn’t even have proper yearning representation. He clicked “Review or log” and immediately typed out his thoughts as they came out.
“And post!” He hit save so fast and watched his review pop up just like that. No regrets, nothing at all but complete wistfulness. He knew nobody followed his account so what was the point of caring if anyone saw his review? There was none, that's the point.
About a half an hour later, right before the clock struck midnight, Hanbin just finished watching an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 5 just to watch Jinkxx Monsoon all over again. He was about to turn off the rest of his gadgets when a loud ding from his phone caught his attention.
Letterboxd
zhao the good witch commented on your review: I know we’re strangers and…
Letterboxd
zhao the good witch liked your review
Why was that username familiar? He was sure he had seen it before. Curiously, he pressed the notification and recognized that damn profile immediately. Pattern recognition test HATED this guy. He knew that cinephile twink from a mile away.
This was the dude with the hundred skulls, the one that convinced him that In The Mood For Love was a real tearjerker of a movie.
This son of a bitch was responsible for 98 minutes of his life completely gone and he was not about to let him get away with it.
Hanbin would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy talking back to whoever this was. Something about him getting ready to clock this cinephile twink with Freudian slips and just about anything and everything Hanbin could psychoanalyze about him, oh he couldn’t wait.
Seemed like zhao the good twink couldn’t either because barely even a minute in and Hanbin’s phone dinged once again and one more time after that.
Hanbin rubbed his hands together and snickered. Oh, how he waited for this day. One of the very few perks of being a psych major was to actually have the credentials to clock people on their bullshit and Hanbin couldn’t wait. All those sleepless nights studying for exams, that was what this was for, not a degree or latin honors, but to call out a random cinephile twink from letterboxd through twitter dms.
Oh Hanbin was about to have the absolute best time of his liiiii…
Woah.
He clicked zhao the good witch’s letterboxd profile for the very first time and saw what Hanbin could only describe as god’s answers to Hanbin’s gay ass prayers.
Based on that small ass profile picture from his reviews and comments, Hanbin could barely make out what his profile pic actually looked like. All he seemed to recognize was a blond blob, a yellow background, and a black and white flannel.
When he clicked onto zhao the good witch’s profile, he saw the details. The dainty cross earring on one ear with the minimal necklace, the wire frames, the faintest beauty mark under his eye but most importantly…the most god tier pair of pouty pink lips he has ever seen in his life.
“Oh my god.” Hanbin almost choked on his own spit. Why the hell was he practically gooning over a random dude from letterboxd right now? He shook his head and made a mental note with himself not to think about that anymore until he saw a clear picture of the guy.
He needed to get himself together. That singular profile pic shouldn’t have made him blush. For all he knew this guy was a poser or that pic was just this dude’s favorite kpop boy, there was no telling for sure.
Only when Hanbin clicked onto the link directing him to Hao’s twitter profile did things actually start to escalate for the worst.
Right from the get go, he recognized a bunch of familiar profiles hanging under the following and followers count on Hao’s profile.
Followed by gyuvin 🥭, Rik 🖤, JW
You gotta be kidding right now. This guy was a film major at THEIR university? Meaning to say that this guy he just started beef with on letterboxd was a mutual friend? There was no way. Absolutely no way.
He scrolled down the profile and began doing what he did best, stalking and scrolling until he saw a proper photo of the guy.
From the looks of it he seemed to be good friends with Ricky whom Hanbin only knew because of his 2 year long situationship with Gyuvin. The popular actor on campus seemed to know him too, after a few more scrolls down his profile he came across the very thing he had been looking for in the first place.
Well, fuck.
That’s the most beautiful man Hanbin has ever seen in his entire 20 years of existence.
This Zhang Hao guy, whoever he was, must’ve been sent to this world by a deity for all gay men in the world to repent and remember that life is worth living.
That picture of him with his beautiful gorgeous pink plump lips wide open with a lollipop barely touching his tongue (yes, that’s right he zoomed in). Oh god, Hanbin needed a moment to breed—breathe! Sorry, he was still a bit too lightheaded to continue his internal monologue properly.
Need that. Need that. Need that. Need that. Need that.
Hanbin could barely function properly anymore, he almost forgot he actually had to dm this boy. He forgot that this son of Aphrodite herself, invited him to send a message.
Hanbin clicked on that dm button so damn fast the second he remembered it. It took him about 10 seconds to think of a proper and totally casual but not at all obvious way of starting a conversation. After nearly 2 minutes, he settled with a simple “hey.”
Act III: The Arts vs Humanities Discourse (Gone…weirdly sexual)
Hao 💤(should be asleep)
HEY
Fuck. Why was that in all caps? That should not be in all caps. Great, now Hao’s gonna think he’s desperate.
Hao 💤(should be asleep)
HEY
ssonghambim? that’s u right?
assuming that’s u cos ur the only person I asked to
dm me at literally 12 mn
also thats the same profile pic u used
yes, that is me, yes
okay, cool
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
sorry, what??
you just said ur a psych major, right?
why THE FUCK would a psych major of all people,
call the mcs in ITMFL “cowards”?
lol cos they are
YOU.
do you have any idea how crazy your take was?
I know you probably didn’t understand the movie
but how could you possibly claim to be a YEARNER and yet hate that movie?
oh my god, you’re kidding, right?
you have to be kidding
DO I LOOK LIKE IM KIDDING
oh you have no idea
you have NO idea what real yearning looks like
no, sir
YOU have no idea what yearning looks like
hell, you can’t even take into account that ITMFL is a period piece
it’s literally set in a time and place where people
were conservative, where they were oppressed
and mind you, they were both in borderline emotionally abusive relationships
HOW COULD YOU CALL THEM COWARDS AFTER THAT
oh wow
I was ready to bicker with you like crazy but damn
you’re being so cute rn
what…
dude, can you focus right now?
I’m trying to argue with you
you really think I didn’t take all that into account?
of course, I know the social implications that they’re going through
of course, I’m aware that they’re in emotionally traumatizing relationships
the reason I called them cowards wasn’t because they were unable to overcome those obstacles
they didn’t need to overcome those obstacles, that was the whole point. they didn’t need to change anything other than leave the relationships they
were in. all they needed to do WAS TOUCH
oh wow
so that’s your whole argument?
that all they needed to do was touch each other?
R U HORNY OR SMTH
I mean I am but that’s besides the point
they didn’t even kiss
98 minutes into the damn movie and they didn’t even kiss
that was the whole point
they were too restricted by so many factors that were put up by the people around them and imposed by THEMSELVES
YES, EXACTLY!
imposed by THEMSELVES
meaning, it could’ve been something they could’ve changed
if they truly loved each other that deeply, they would’ve done something about it because THEY ARE THE ONES IN CONTROL.
they are always gonna be in control, we as humans are always going to be people who are in control of our capabilities, our beliefs, our choices
if they had kissed each other, if they had let themselves be more human,
if they had let themselves experience the touch of somebody who yearned for them, then they would’ve done something about it
they would’ve changed their fate
but they made their own decisions
and that’s exactly why their love failed.
because what they felt for one another just wasn’t deep enough to willingly choose one another.
and that’s only the case because they wouldn’t let themselves get closer and actually touch.
okay, fine
I’ll give credit where credit is due
you made a very good point
I know, I made a very good point
and that’s exactly why this movie SUCKS
😀
just when I was starting to change my opinion about you tsk
this is ridiculous
what is? the movie?
no, THIS
you talking about precisely what made the movie so beautiful and heartbreaking yet you still say it sucks
what do you even consider a good movie?
pretty much everything on my letterboxd top 4
seen
Hao disappeared for a little while after that. While waiting for his reply, Hanbin decided to continue his not so subtle stalking.
He once again clicked Hao’s profile and scrolled all the way down from where he left off. Random tweets talking about editing and something with the #Bittersweet! with an exclamation point. It rang a bell, in the back of Hanbin’s head.
Maybe it was one of the things Ricky acted in. And then it finally struck him. This whole account, the short films, the writing tweets, this was the reason Ricky got internet famous.
Hao was the creator of Youth In The Shade, the short film that went viral a few years ago starring Shen Ricky and Kim Jiwoong. It’s the film that kickstarted Ricky’s acting career.
Which meant that…oh god. Hanbin was stupid as hell.
He stared at the tweet that felt like it mocked him straight to his face.
It was his best friend’s first ever serious short film project where he was the lead. Sure, Gyuvin only kinda did acting gigs here and there for the money and the experience so he could be hired in an agency one day, but he was so proud of that project.
Hanbin knew that project very well, he never knew nor met the director but all he knew was that he was the same director that made Youth In The Shade. He was so proud of him for that too, how did he not know that Hao was the person behind all of this?
He’s picked up Gyuvin from filming countless times back then, even visited the set himself at least twice. How is it that he never once bumped into Hao until now?
This was crazy. He’s been connected to this man for years now and yet they’ve never once met? He’s been in the same vicinity as the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen and yet they’ve never bumped shoulders?
How did he only now meet Hao?
~~
Hao stared blankly at Hanbin’s letterboxd profile and mentally facepalmed. This felt like a joke. Even worse, it was a joke that he let himself get baited by. What do you mean he actually let himself fall for ragebait by somebody whose Top 4 included The Book of Life.
Hao felt insulted just by staring at this man’s profile.
The Book of Life (2014). The Book of fucking Life. The movie with the wooden pig. Hanbin’s Top 4 best movies in the whole entire world included a movie with a wooden pig and Channing Tatum.
Hao was about to clock this guy one more time, call him out for having quite possibly the worst taste in movies but then his eyes noticed the movie right beside it.
Your Name Engraved Herein (2020). Not the best movie, but not the actual worst. Hao genuinely thought this wasn’t the worst choice but it definitely wasn’t the best. But still, Hao gave the movie at least a solid 3 stars. And it was a plus that Hanbin was open to foreign films. Maybe Hanbin didn’t have the worst taste in the world.
And then Hao saw the next movie.
He takes it back. He takes it back hard. Hanbin had the absolute worst taste in the whole entire world. Of all the movies in all those countries out there throughout centuries, this was the movie Hanbin chose.
Love, Rosie (2014). What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Hao, his inner child, and all of his past lives were beyond offended. This was the most offensive thing Hao had ever encountered. There was just no beating this anymore. He almost thought he was completely done with Hanbin, ready to just give up the argument and ghost him but then…he saw the last movie on his Top 4.
About Time (2013). This was it. The storm in Hao’s head had never been so calm, in fact it had started playing musicbox lullabies deep in there. Hao didn’t know how to go about it anymore after this. It was like seeing a real diamond in the middle of candy gems.
As a film major, Hao was usually the type to like the more artsy, experimental, poetic movies about life and everything in between. It was one of the reasons why he loved Wong Kar Wai so much. He wasn’t much of a person who liked mainstream movies very much or romcoms for that matter but this movie was the exception.
He knew a lot of people would probably judge him for that but he didn’t care. This movie gave birth (kinda) to one of Hao’s favorite songs of all time and the current title of his upcoming film: How Long Will I Love You.
Hao didn’t have much to say about the director’s choices in this movie but he was certain about the plot, for sure. That movie spoke more about life and love in ways everyone could understand, no matter who they are or where they’re from. This movie was love.
He was conflicted now, this Hanbin guy went from being the single worst movie watcher in existence to having About Time (2013) in his Top 4. There was far too little information to go off of from this alone, so of course, instinctively, Hao did what he thought seemed to be the most fit.
He stalked him on Twitter. Hao was an expert on these kinds of things, he was that friend everyone has. That one friend that can dig up someone’s entire family history just from a mention of his name or from a simple username on letterboxd.
The CIA should be scared of this guy for real.
He thought this was gonna be a piece of cake since he already had Hanbin’s twitter handle. He just needed to look up his username and his full name (which was already foolishly written on his profile) on Instagram and Facebook and voila.
He went right back to twitter to click on Hanbin’s account when he was suddenly distracted. Actually, distracted was an understatement, he was absolutely flabber-fucking-gasted.
He didn’t notice it before but he definitely can’t pry his eyes away from it now.
Followed by gyuvin 🥭, Rik 🖤, JW
Hao felt like the fucking blue blob gif from twitter. You know the one with the eyes and the crying emojis.
What the fuck was going on? Was this some sort of joke? Why did his friends know this dude?
It took Hao a while to realize it but then suddenly it began to slowly fall into place. This guy was oomf. Not even oomf actually, he was oomf’s oomf. He went to this university. For the past 3 years, he’s been breathing the same air as this Hanbin guy.
Hao felt stupid, not putting things together sooner. He’s heard rumors before of a guy from the Psych department, someone notorious for having his entire personality be academics all because he was that unfortunate at love. Gyuvin told him about the guy once, he said the guy was his close friend. Ricky even compared the guy to Hao in that same conversation and Gyuvin claimed that Hanbin was practically Hao in a different font.
Now actually knowing Hanbin for himself, Hao found that claim to be offensive considering Hanbin’s taste in movies. Seriously, The Book of fucking Life out of all movies.
Nevertheless, Hao continued his task at stalking the fuck out of this guy. He was determined to dig up some dirt on this dude but the universe—or perhaps just Hao’s spidey senses for homosexuality—just wouldn’t let him.
Barely even three scrolls down to Hanbin’s profile and Hao felt like a gunshot suddenly went off in his brain.
Oh.
So, he was fiiiiiineeeee.
Fuck. Now what?
Hao felt the hairs all over his arms and the back of his neck stand upright (and it wasn’t the only thing standing erect, if we’re being honest here).
He couldn’t pry his eyes away from those hands and the way he made that phone look miniscule in his beautiful, gorgeous, sexy long fingers. Hao was starting to feel like a little freak the longer he stared at them.
But that wasn’t even the worst part. It was the little fading tattoo sitting right in the middle of his collarbone that really seemed to get him. The way it sat so prettily on his skin, Hao couldn’t stop thinking about how it'd look in the dark, covered in sweat, hanging over him or pressed up against him, he wouldn’t mind having it any other way.
Was that too much? Was that too freaky? Hao couldn’t even care too much anymore. He was too focused on Hanbin and his broad shoulders, Hanbin and his pretty hands, Hanbin and his slutty tattoo, Hanbin and his pretty little lips.
He didn’t even know if it was morally correct to think about him like this but he just couldn’t care anymore.
Maybe Ricky and Taerae were right…
Maybe all Hao needed was a little inspiration. A Hanbinspiration, if you will.
Suddenly, all plans of stalking this guy and his entire clan on every social media platform possible just went right down the drain. Hao knew exactly how to play his cards now, sickeningly so. He was a writer, after all, he knew how to plan things ahead to get the results that he wanted.
Lucky for him, it seemed like Hanbin had the same thing in mind.
hanbin | 📚era
pretty much everything on my letterboxd top 4
is this a joke?
what is?
the book of fucking life?
what? what’s wrong with it?!
you had the opportunity to put in ANY movie in the whole entire world and you chose this.
you gotta be kidding?
tsk like yours is any better?
of course mine’s better, mine is tremendously better
exquisite, really
delicious too
bet you’d like it if you gave it a chance
Hanbin stared at his phone screen like he had just seen a ghost—a ghost that went straight to his pants really. Why did it seem like Hao was no longer talking about movies here?
Hao 💤(should be asleep)
of course mine’s better, mine is tremendously better
exquisite, really
delicious too
bet you’d like it if you gave it a chance
oh yeah?
what even is some of this stuff you got on here?
you seriously put in the mood for love as your top three?
do we have a problem with that?
yes, I clearly do
then why don’t you do something about it?
you look like you could definitely do something real good about it
…
what?
Was Hao doing this wrong or was he doing it terribly right? He couldn’t really tell. It was either going exactly the way he wanted it to or Hanbin was probably thinking he’s gone insane and somehow started talking about movies sexually.
Hao 💤(should be asleep)
…
what?
nothing, pretty boy
I was just playing around :)
Hanbin was starting to feel dizzy, sick to his stomach, and hard as fuck. Oh Hao was flirting with him and he was flirting real bad. It was almost pathetic how much Hanbin liked it. But he wouldn’t back down, his pride wouldn’t let himself do it.
Hao 💤(should be asleep)
…
what?
nothing, pretty boy
I was just playing around :)
seems like you’re playing around with your taste too
of all the movies in the whole entire world, you chose bottoms as the first on your list?
I did, yeah
what can I say? there’s not much to say about it as a film major, but as a human…
I like good comedy
I like gay people
I like being gay
I like seeing men in tight pants
and most importantly, I like being a bottom
no other gay comedy’s gonna top this one
I could give you about three other movies that could top that
yeah?
come on then
top me
Hanbin. Hanbin can’t. Hanbin can’t even.
FUCK.
There wasn’t a single bone in Hanbin’s body that didn’t want to jump through his phone and fuck Hao silly, just like that. He didn’t even care if he just met this guy tonight or that he might see him again on campus. He didn’t care one bit.
All he knew was that Hao was a goddamn greek god and he was flirting with him. Well Hanbin couldn’t fumble him this time, no, no, no. He just wouldn’t let that happen.
Hao 💤(should be asleep)
yeah?
come on then
top me
sure
come over sometime
maybe I can make you laugh for real
I don’t trust it
people who put the book of life on their top 4 should not be allowed to give out movie recommendations
oh you’re just never gonna give that up, huh?
sorry 🤷
your taste in movies is the real comedy here
oh yeah? like chungking express is any better?
oh shit, wait
this is a wong kar wai movie too?
yeah and one of his best
what? do you have a problem with that movie too?
I wouldn’t know, I haven’t watched it
I’ve been thinking about it though
I need to watch at least three wong kar wai films and analyze the director’s mind for my final in my art therapy class
you got lucky, wong kar wai is perfect for that type of stuff
I don’t know about that
I started with in the mood for love and got bored as fuck so I don’t think I’m gonna survive the rest of his movies
unless you could help me out?
me? you want my help?
you seem to know a lot about him and his movies
maybe you could help me out a little
hmm I don’t know
what’s in it for me?
idk
whatever you want
I’ll let you do whatever the hell you want to
yeah?
yeah…
fuck
fine
let’s do it
tuesday night, let’s meet up
I’ll text you the location
wait really?
wait are you actually gonna help me with my paper?
yeah, why?
we can just meet up on campus
you go to the same uni, right? I saw your profile
you stalked me?
oh like you didn’t?
okay, fine touche
can you blame me though?
I got curious when I saw ricky and gyub following u
oh right, you’re gyuvin’s friend, aren’t you?
the one from cheonan?
yeah, he’s told you about me?
in passing
has he told you about me?
in passing :)
you’re a real cheeky guy, you know that?
glad you think so
I’m Hanbin by the way
in case you needed a formal introduction
we did get kinda carried away with the whole movie thing
it’s fine, I’d rather talk about movies anyway
and I’m Zhang Hao
just Hao actually
nice to meet you, Hao :)
ditto, Hanbin ;)
Hanbin set his phone down and stared at the ceiling for a good 20-30 minutes after that. There was just no recovering from whatever the fuck just happened right there.
Zhang Hao knows of his existence.
Hottest Twink Alive™ knows of Sung Hanbin’s existence and he flirted with him.
Sung Hanbin is about to meet up with this guy and he swore he wasn’t gonna fumble this time. He prayed and prayed and prayed that there was just no way he was gonna let this opportunity slip away from him.
But his friends seemed to think so otherwise.
Act IV: The Soju-Strawberry Dichotomy
“He’s so fucking hot.” Hanbin shut his eyes and started picturing Hao’s face in his head once again, completely ignoring the chicken that Matthew paid for sitting right in front of him. “And I mean sooooooo fucking hot. Oh my god.”
“Hyung, be so for real right now. You’ve never even seen the guy in real life before.” Matthew argued.
“Who cares? He’s hot as fuck. I’m horny as fuck. It’s a win-win.”
“Except you’re missing one small detail.” Gyuvin shrugged and opened up a can of sprite. “You, Sung Hanbin, are 100% incapable of doing anything casually.”
“That is so not true.” Hanbin reached out to grab the last honey glazed chicken on the plate in front of them, stealing it from Gyuvin’s greedy little face.
“Hyung, don’t kid yourself here. You’re like a walking, talking, sexual contract. You’re gonna make that Hao guy walk out before you even get to third base.” Matthew pointed at him with a chicken wing.
“That is not true. I can do casual. I just need his full, verbal consent.”
“And that’s exactly the problem!” Gyuvin sighed, “Casual isn’t bound by contract unless you’re a celebrity and you’re trying to make him sign an NDA just so you can fuck him into next week. And considering how long your list of things you need verbal consent for is, I doubt Hao hyung’s gonna sign up for that.”
“So what I’m hearing here is that you both think I don’t have a chance with Hao.” Hanbin raised an eyebrow at both of them.
“That’s exactly what we’re saying, hyung.” Matthew nodded as Gyuvin snapped his fingers in agreement. “Besides, I bet this Hao hyung could do way better.”
“Well…” Gyuvin soured, his voice raising up a pitch. “He can’t, really. He’s kind of a loser. Maybe that’s why you two hit it off.”
“Gee, thanks, Gyub.” Hanbin started to slow down his chewing and stare at the chicken wing in his hands miserably, like a sad dog or something. “Do you guys seriously think I have no chance? Like zero? Like absolutely zero chance of hitting?”
“Hyung, here’s the thing,” Gyuvin began. “The reason why we keep telling you that the chances of you getting laid is so low—you know, aside from the whole sex contract ordeal—is because you, Sung Hanbin, are desperate for something real. And Hao hyung? He’s just not on that same level as you. You’re a romantic, he’s a realist. The chances of it working out is almost as low as the chances of him agreeing to your contract.”
Hanbin blinked and started thinking about that a little bit deeper, just a little bit more seriously. Was all of this really unrealistic? Was there gonna be zero chance of any of this happening?
He refused to think so. If he thought about it any further, he’d chicken out and probably miss out on the chance to meet one hell of a guy. He did promise to himself that he wasn’t gonna fumble this one. But that didn’t mean the thought didn’t shake him even just a little bit.
Was this really bound to be impossible? A romantic and a realist on a mission to fuck each other without consequences. Was all of this really just wishful thinking?
~~
In the building across from Hanbin’s quaint dorm, Hao laid flat on his back on the floor of his own dorm. The ceiling above him started doing flips the longer he stared at them. He was about 5 shots in, really. He was also about 5 minutes more from bursting out in either laughter or tears.
“What am I gonna do?” He mumbled, along with other completely incoherent words.
“About what?” Taerae slurred his words as he poured out another shot of the cheap soju they smuggled in a box of poptarts.
“What am I gonna do?” Hao repeated.
“Ge, you’re gone. Just go to sleep already.” Ricky patted his thigh and held out a hand to help him get up.
“No, I’m not gone. I’m here! I’m just...” He took Ricky’s hand and sat up, reaching for another shot before Ricky snatched it from him. “I just can’t stop thinking about it.”
“What’s the big deal? You’ve done stupider things than this. Why are you only now worried?” Taerae poured another shot and discreetly handed it to Hao.
“Because I don’t actually want to do it!”
“So you don’t wanna fuck Hanbin but you asked him to?” Ricky snatched the drink from Hao’s hand once again, earning him an intense side eye from Hao.
“I didn’t ask him to! I just told him I would help him with his paper as if I don’t already have enough problems going on. I can barely finish Act 1 of the screenplay.” He sighed and started sobering up the more he drank the water Ricky put in shot glasses for him. “I don’t even know what came over me.”
Taerae scoffed. He knew Hao’s patterns well, this was predictable, really. “I’ll tell you what came over you—your dick. You gotta stop thinking with your dick, hyung.”
“You’re right.” Hao looked down at his pants, “Who ever gave you a right to have a brain?” He shook his head disappointedly at his dick.
“I think you can relax, hyung. I doubt anything’s gonna happen anyway.” Hao glared at Ricky intensely.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because it’s Hanbin hyung and you’re…” Ricky sighed and gestured at all of him, “You.”
Hao looked down at himself and back up to snarl at Ricky. “What exactly are you trying to say right now, Shen Ricky?”
“I’m just saying, I’ve been hanging around with Hanbin hyung for a while now and as far as I can tell, he’s a serious guy. He’s like—he’s like strawberry milk.” Ricky grabbed the little empty carton of strawberry milk on Hao’s coffee table, “And you’re soju.” He gestured at the bottle next to Taerae.
“He’s soft and sweet, caring and thoughtful, he’s a real romantic. And you hyung,” Ricky sighed, “You can only ever write about romance.”
“Are you saying that I’m an anti-romantic?”
“I think he’s saying you’re bad at romance.” Taerae soured as he downed yet another shot. “You pull all sorts of guys, hyung. But somehow, they’re all fucking terrible or just the most incompatible with you. Then despite knowing that, you still ignore the red flags. If you can’t find them, you start looking for the smallest negative things to tunnel in on and then…” Taerae made a big explosive gesture. “Boom. Heartbreak.”
“I get it, I get it!” Hao raised his hands up.
“We’re just saying, you have a pattern, ge. And we’re not saying Hanbin hyung’s a bad guy, it’s just that maybe he’s one of the guys who is really incompatible with you. Especially considering Hanbin hyung’s pattern too.”
Hao perked up at that. “Pattern? What do you mean? Do you know something?” He grabbed Ricky’s forearm with his eyes bulging out. “Does he have a reputation? Is he…you know…down there?”
“This guy.” Ricky clicked his tongue and flicked Hao’s forehead. “I thought we told you to stop thinking with your dick!”
Hao winced and rubbed his forehead. “I wasn’t! I was just asking for inspiration.”
“As I was saying,” Ricky pulled his forearm away and straightened out the sleeve of his polo, “Hanbin hyung has a pattern. But not one like yours. He doesn’t fall in love with the wrong people and ignore every damn red flag. The problem with him is that he can’t do casual.”
Hao looked away, mumbling to himself. “He doesn’t do casual? What does that even mean?”
“Well Gyuvin told me that his problem is that he just can’t keep a guy long enough for them to have sex. Apparently it’s something about Hanbin hyung having a long kink list or whatever that he needs verbal consent for.”
“A kink list?” Hao’s eyes grew large, oh that turned him on way more than it should’ve. “Fuck why is that hot?”
“That’s not really the point. The point is that everything with him is romantic and serious, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. Deep inside, he’s planning a happy little picket fence ending. And if you put that together with your tendency to just be flat out incapable of proper romance without being blind to red and green flags…” Ricky started wincing and rubbing his temples. “The mere thought of it is stressing me out for Hanbin hyung.”
“I don’t even know that guy and I’m already stressed out for him.” Taerae started blinking one eye at a time, a thorough indication that he’s officially crossing the border between drunk to wasted.
Not like Hao was any better. He may have sobered up a little but whatever Ricky just said to him got his head and his heart pounding. He was seeing Hanbin in 2 days.
Was this really a mistake?
Hao knew himself well enough to know that he did indeed fall into the worst habits. But despite his drunken state, he knew it to himself too that he made a commitment. He roped himself into this mess.
Even if he was just a stranger/mutual friend/letterboxd enemy/potential hookup with a horrible taste in films, Hao couldn’t find it in himself to stand him up. He couldn’t do that to anybody.
The least he could do was show up—and try his best not to ride Hanbin right then and there. He can try his best but if he fails, he sincerely asks everyone not to judge him.
Besides, who knows what could happen?
Maybe soju and strawberry do go well together.
~~
On the day of their supposed meeting, Hanbin was the first to start the conversation. The first to break the ice after days since they last talked.
He did his best to make it sound casual (mostly to prove to Gyuvin and Matthew that he was indeed capable of doing casual) and make it appear like it was just like every other professional business meeting.
Hao 💤 (should be asleep)
good afternoon, hao :)
I hope you haven’t forgotten about our arrangement today
apologies btw for not messaging after that night, things got a bit busy around here
you do remember me though, right?
hi :)
yeah, ofc I remember u pretty boy
Ha. Ha. Ha. Haaaaard dick. Fuck being casual, fuck being professional, Hanbin was ready to ruin that professional relationship so damn fast. He should not have blushed that much at that little nickname. It drove him crazy. Oh the things he could do to Hao the second he hears those words come out of his mouth in person.
Hao 💤 (should be asleep)
hi :)
yeah, ofc I remember u pretty boy
and it’s cool, don’t worry about it I got busy too
but I remember, I said I’d text you the location, right?
uh yeah, but no rush if you’re busy rn u don’t have to send it immediately
no, no, I’m not busy it’s okay
how about we meet up outside the cafe by the pharmacy building?
it’ll be almost closed by that time so we’ll have the chairs and tables outside all to ourselves
sure that sounds great!
great :)
I’ll meet you there at around 7?
perfect :)
I’ll see you there
see you :))
Hao chucked his phone across the room and screamed bloody murder. Lucky for him, his ex from 3 relationships ago convinced him to sound proof his dorm since Hao was known to be loud.
He stared at his phone sitting flat on the floor and began to let all the silly little thoughts run its course up in there. Two smiley faces.
TWO.
Just like the amount of condoms he wanted to tell Hanbin to pack in both of his pockets right about now.
TWO SMILEY FACES.
They practically talked as dirty as they possibly could on the first night that they met and yet he was still a blushing mess just from two smiley faces. He had to lock in for this now, Hao didn’t even care anymore if he suddenly spotted red flags everywhere all over Hanbin. That man gave him two smiley faces, this was real serious now.
Hao spent the rest of the afternoon desperately calling Ricky for help on what to wear.
“No.” Ricky dumped yet another hanger of Hao’s clothes onto the floor, on a pile of clothes he had labeled “offensive”.
“Not this either.” He added yet another. “This is just horrendous.”
“Okay, can you please stop throwing my clothes away and just pick something out for me!”
“I can try but everything isn’t going well with your new hair. Seriously, why did you even dye your hair back to brown if half of your wardrobe is curated for your blond hair.” Ricky rolled up his sleeves and squatted down at the drawers underneath.
“But you said it looked nice!” Ricky pulled the drawer out and started digging.
“I was trying to be nice, hyung.” He stopped and slowly pulled out a skimpy little tank top that he knew Hao would look absolutely slutty in. “Oh hell yes.”
5 minutes and one long argument about why Hao shouldn’t go commando on a first date later, Ricky had finally finished dressing him up in a simple white tank top, a denim shirt unbuttoned all the way down, and a matching pair of lowrise baggy denim pants. Hao looked down at the waistband of his most expensive pair of underwear and argued yet again if this was really the right outfit to wear.
“You’re not seriously making me go out like this, right? It’s freezing outside, my nipples are gonna fall off.” Hao attempted to cover himself up with the denim shirt.
“Who cares? You have a date. Make him catch your falling nipples.” Ricky snickered to himself as he handed Hao a necklace and a singular earring just to complete the rest of the outfit.
“You think you’re so funny, Shen Ricky. You know you’re slutting me out, right?”
“Yeah, I owe Hanbin hyung like a dollar for this one time he treated us to ice cream. Tell him this is my way of repaying him.”
Hao stared at himself in the mirror and hesitated, one, two, three more times. Was he really about to do this? Go on a random “date” if you could even call it that, with somebody he met from letterboxd, just to discuss Wong Kar Wai.
He hesitated once more as he left his dorm building, then hesitated yet again when he was starting to approach the pharmacy building.
That had to be the worst one out of all the times he thought in his head that he should maybe stop this. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Ricky said back there on that night they had to carry Taerae back to his dorm on a makeshift gurney.
Hanbin was a romantic. He didn’t do casual hookups or casual relationships. He went all in and all out.
And Hao was a realist. He knew that it was inevitable for every relationship to end. That was why all of his films had the most tragic endings. That’s what he was known for. He knew that if he did this, he would just be starting something with somebody whose heart he could only ever break.
But something inside of him believed otherwise, which was odd. Something in the back of his mind wanted to believe that a love that never ends actually exists, a love just like the ones in the movies might actually be real.
A voice in his head kept telling Hao that he should be out there looking for that love and just take a goddamn chance.
But then he pictured Brian, the guy who cried on his knees for Hao not to end things with him despite him cheating on Hao.
And then there was Soobin, the guy who sent Hao 167 voice messages of him just crying and begging for Hao to take him back after Hao ended things because Soobin wanted to get back together with his ex.
Then, there was Yuan. The guy who had to drop out of college because he couldn’t get over Hao after Hao found out he was talking to another man.
Hao didn’t blame himself for the lives of those guys who ended up miserable after he left them. He knew he needed to leave them for his own sake and theirs, it was only logical. That was the realist in him.
But that didn’t mean he never felt a single tinge of guilt for it. He couldn’t bring himself to see that again. He couldn’t bring himself to break another heart, especially if he knew it was somebody who saw love in such a pure way.
He couldn’t break the heart of a romantic. He just couldn’t do it.
Hao was about to turn back when he saw a shadow approaching from behind the pharmacy building. Tall, broad shouldered, with dark black hair, and a pair of eyes that made everything else around them stop.
Silence fell inside of Hao’s chaotic mind. For once in his life, the mere presence of a man he’s only now seen before him has silenced the storm in his brain he’s spent 21 years of his life battling with.
What a beautiful feeling it was to be near the presence of someone so bafflingly gorgeous.
“I thought you’d never come.” Hanbin slipped his hands in the pockets of his jeans shyly. “I started getting worried around 7:19.”
“Sorry.” Hao managed to reply amidst the fog in his brain. “I was, uh, getting ready.”
“Right, yeah.” Hanbin nodded and pushed up his black framed spectacles higher up on his nose. “You look great, by the way.” He looked down at the ground, trying his best to avoid the gaze of Venus, quite literally staring right at him.
“You’re not too shabby as well, pretty boy.” A subtle smile grew on Hao’s lips as he noticed the pink hue spreading all over Hanbin’s face. Hao thought that was adorable. Hanbin thought about taking Hao’s hand and dragging him right back to his dorm, no further questions.
“Right, well, shall we?” Hanbin gestured at the empty seats outside the local cafe within their campus. The place was apparently going to close early, but since Hanbin arrived before Hao could, he managed to convince them to stay for a little while longer.
Hanbin pulled up the chair for Hao to take a seat on.
Hot AND a gentleman. Hao made sure to take note of that.
“So, uh, have you eaten anything yet?” Hao started awkwardly.
“I haven’t. I was too caught up cramming a paper, sorry. I barely had time to change.” Hanbin looked down at himself and awkwardly tugged at the collar of his already lowly opened blue flannel.
“It’s alright, you look hot anyway.” Hanbin choked on his own saliva. No, literally, he actually choked on his own saliva. It was embarrassing as fuck. “Oh my god, are you okay?” Hao attempted to stand up but Hanbin shook his hand away.
“I’m fine, I’m fine! Please, sit.” Hanbin said in between loud coughs and pounds at his chest.
Hao couldn’t help but laugh a little. He tried to hold it in, really but he just couldn’t do it.
“I’m so sorry, I’m trying so hard not to laugh even a little bit right now.”
“It’s fine, you can laugh.” Hanbin sighed, “That was embarrassing as fuck.”
“It was cute.” Hao leaned back on his chair and smiled, the kind of smile that seemed to calm Hanbin down, the kind of smile that seemed to make Hanbin want to fuck it right out of him too.
“You seem to be enjoying this.” Hanbin once again fixed the spectacles on his face. “Is this the kind of humor that made you put Bottoms on your Top 4?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Hao shrugged and hid back a casual smile. Hell, he couldn’t stop smiling at all and neither could Hanbin.
They were lucky nobody else was around, otherwise people would’ve thought they were just a bunch of idiots staring at each other with silly little smiles on their faces.
A few minutes had gone by after they had just given their order, and they were returning back to their seats when Hao took notice of one of the banners by the door. A two-for-one deal on pineapple flavored sugar cookies, that ends on May 1.
He just couldn’t help but snicker.
Hanbin looked back at him as he held the door open for Hao, “What?”
“Nothing, it’s just,” He pointed up at the banner before walking through the door. “Pineapple deal that ends on May 1, it’s funny.”
“Wow, you really do need to get your humor checked.”
“No, it’s not that!” Hao chuckled, “It’s a Chungking Express reference. Or a coincidence, which is what makes it funnier. See the guy in the movie eats a bunch of expired pineapples on his birthday, May 1.”
“I still don’t get it, but sure.” Hanbin pulled up Hao’s seat for him once again.
“You said you were gonna watch that movie, didn’t you? Or did you just get complacent because you knew you were gonna get help from a film major?” Hao crossed his arms and looked at him suspiciously.
“Maybe. Look, can you blame me? Those movies seriously bore me so bad. I almost fell asleep in the middle of ‘In The Mood For Love’, you can’t seriously expect me to watch more of what that director makes.”
“But that’s like the whole point of your paper, is it not?” Hanbin made a hesitant groan.
“I…will not justify that question with an answer, kind sir.”
Hao scoffed playfully. “Kind sir? What am I? Your professor?”
“Gyuvin did mention you were older than me.” Hao frowned slightly.
“I am? When’s your birthday?”
“Why do you wanna know? Do you wanna check if our horoscopes are compatible or something?” Hao chuckled at that.
“Nevermind, should’ve just asked your age.” He clicked his tongue and leaned back.
“It’s June 13, by the way. I’m 20 but I turn 21 in June. What about you?”
“I’m 21, turning 22 on July 25.”
“I see, Hao hyung.” Hao winced at that. “What, you don’t like it?”
“It’s not that I don’t, it’s just…I don’t know. I’m not really used to people using honorifics with me. We don’t really do that in my hometown.”
“Your hometown?”
“Yeah, I live in Fujian. I moved here for high school since I saw that this one high school in Seoul offered scholarships to this university. That’s where I met Ricky, actually.” Hanbin hummed and leaned in closer on the little table between them as Hao continued.
“Anyway, I didn’t wanna study in California but I still wanted a global film education program so I thought an internationally credited university like this place was the best fit.”
Hanbin looked at Hao curiously as he spoke, “Looks like a carefully calculated plan. So you knew you wanted to study film since before high school, then?”
“Oh, I’ve wanted to study film since I was old enough to read and write.” Hanbin smiled at the thought of little Hao talking about movies at such a young age.
“That’s cute. It must’ve been nice to have a dream for that long, huh?”
“It’s all I’ve ever known. I started making little movies when I was like 6, I think? I made a little 2 minute movie about my Batman toy and my Iron Man toy on an afternoon tea date.”
“That’s adorable.” Hanbin laughed at it adoringly, “I wish I had that kind of passion at such a young age.”
“What about you? When did you realize what you wanted to do with your life?”
“Well,” Hanbin gave it some thought, “It probably had to be around high school. I went to high school in Cheonan with Gyuvin, there weren’t a lot of people in our high school so everyone kind of knew everyone. Sometime later, I became the president of the student council.”
Hao raised an eyebrow at that. “I started meeting a lot more people and a lot more people came to me for their problems too. I did my best to try and solve them but I realized later on that there are just some people that you can only help to a certain extent but the best you could do was understand them. So I did try my best to understand them and I ended up helping a lot more people. I guess that’s kinda how I got here.”
“So you’re planning to be a therapist one day, right?”
“Trying my best.” Hanbin shrugged.
“That’s actually pretty nice. Maybe I’ll give you a call when you're licensed. It’d be interesting to figure out the reason behind some of my weirder kinks.” Hanbin felt yet another chunk of his spit attempting to choke him.
He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar, “That’s—yeah, sure—sign me up.”
“For what?” Hao tilted his head and faked an innocent, clueless smile, “My kinks?”
Hanbin started coughing once again and squinting out into the open air, “The air is kinda itching my throat.”
“Oh no, do you want some water?” Hao grabbed the pitcher next to them and poured him a glass before he could say no.
“Thanks, but I’m fine, really.”
“Yeah, but we have to take care of your throat, don’t we?” Hao pouted, “Hanbinnie has a sensitive throat after all.” He stretched out his hand and gently brushed his index finger over Hanbin’s neck, tracing the bulge of his Adam's apple ever so lightly.
“Hao,” Hanbin managed to whisper in a low voice, “What do you think you’re doing?”
He looked up at Hanbin’s eyes, noticing just how much darker they’ve gotten since the first time they sat down together here. Oh he could’ve taken him right then and there. Hao was glad, he had him right where he wanted him.
Hao was about to start hiking his foot up Hanbin’s leg when the bell of the door behind Hanbin suddenly rang as a scrawny teenage boy with a tray in his hands came to approach them.
“Oh look at that, dinner!” Hao kicked his foot up high enough to reach the side of Hanbin’s knee before retracting it far away from him.
Hanbin pressed his lips together in a thin line. There was no way this was happening to him.
Stay calm, Hanbin. Stay strong. Stay strong, soldier. You can do this.
“Order complete?” The waiter boy turned to Hanbin who only gave him a silent nod.
“Thank you.” Hao smiled at the boy kindly before opening up his pasta. “I’m starving.” Hanbin waited for the waiter to enter back inside the cafe before he spoke.
“I bet you are.” Hao looked up at him. “You look like you’ve been looking for something to put between those lips for a while now.”
Well, he was not expecting that. He didn’t even know what to expect really. Hao kinda only started talking dirty as a joke because he wanted to see Hanbin’s reaction.
He didn’t really realize that Hanbin, the alleged romantic, could be this bold too.
And then it suddenly hit him. What Ricky told him on the night of Taerae’s journey on a blanket gurney. Hanbin and his long list of kinks.
Oh fuck.
Hao just started a game with a guy with a massive libido, didn’t he?
“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” Hanbin rolled up the sleeves of his flannel, showing off his forearms as he started digging into the salad in front of him. “Or maybe there’s something else you want on your tongue?”
Hao froze. Kid you not, actually froze. He just kinda stopped blinking, moving, breathing probably.
“Kidding.” Hanbin suddenly giggled, showing off his adorable whisker dimples so innocently, as if he wasn’t just talking about possibly deepthroating Hao—which Hao wouldn’t be opposed to by the way. “Lighten up, hyung.”
“You don’t need to call me that.” Hao looked away awkwardly, all that boldness in him before had suddenly disappeared into thin air. “Just Hao works.”
“Okay, if you say so.” Hanbin let out a long, deep groan and said his name, “Hao.”
That was it. Cut the fucking cameras. Hao dropped his shoulders and leaned back against his chair.
“I get it, okay? You win! You can stop playing with me now!” Hanbin burst out in the sweetest sounding laugh in the world.
“You’re cute, Hao. I’m glad the guy who’s helping me write a paper on a topic I absolutely hate is at least this adorable.”
“You do know that you’re still gonna have to write that paper yourself and watch the movies, right? I’m just gonna help you give opinions.” Hao narrowed his eyes on him.
“What?” Hanbin sighed in defeat. “I thought you helping me out would mean I don’t have to watch another stupid movie by that man.”
“Hey, watch it.” Hao clicked his tongue. “That’s Wong Kar Wai you’re talking about here. And you should be glad I’m helping you and willing to explain everything about the movies to you. I could be doing so many more things with my time, you know?”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Well, for one thing, I’m in the middle of writing my next film.” Hanbin’s eyes lit up at that.
“Really? That’s awesome! How far along are you?” Hao looked away and stayed silent. “Have you not started it yet?”
“No, I have, it’s just—ugh, why did you have to ask about that? I don’t normally talk about my films on dates.”
“What do you even talk about on dates then?” Hao shrugged.
“Nothing, we just kinda fuck.” Hanbin chortled.
“First of all, kinda fuck? What does that even mean? And secondly, if you don’t talk about your films then how do these guys ever get to know you at all?” He had a point, Hao thought. “You’re an artist, the core of your personality is right there expressed through your works. It’s crazy that nobody ever asks you to talk about your art like that.”
“I guess you’re right. Well, fine then, if you must know then I have indeed started my next film. It’s just that…” He poked his pasta weakly, “I’m kinda stuck.”
“Kinda stuck?”
“I can’t get past the first act.” Hao sighed, he felt like a superhero that’s been weakened. “It’s just so weird, that usually doesn’t happen. But I feel like the characters are just so underdeveloped and unrealistic that I can’t really get in their heads.”
“I get what you mean.” Hanbin clicked his tongue, he was confident at this. Movies may have been Hao’s forte, but getting into people’s heads, oh that’s all Hanbin, baby. “That’s what I hate about a lot of movies too, the writer just doesn’t seem to understand their own characters sometimes. It’s so unrealistic and they end up doing such uncharacteristic things.”
“Do you happen to know how to avoid that?” Hao kept his eyes fixed on Hanbin.
“Yeah, that’s like my whole major. Getting into people’s heads, understanding who they are and what they’re doing and why they’re doing that.”
“Do you think…” Hao paused, he’s never really done this before. Especially not on a date. This was all so new and all so damn awkward to him.
“What is it?” Hanbin urged him.
“Do you think that maybe you can help me out a bit with this particular script?” Hao spoke slowly, hesitantly.
“Of course. I’d love to help you out. It’s better to consult someone who actually knows about understanding the human mind anyway.”
“Really? You wouldn’t mind at all?” Hanbin nodded, reassuringly.
“Not at all. If you want we can set a date for it so we can get some progress done as soon as possible.” Hanbin smiled at himself, thinking that Hao wasn’t catching on at the very subtle offer of a second date. “Pretty busy for the rest of the week but, uh, how’s Tuesday next week sound?”
“No, sorry, I have a date.”
“Oh.” Hanbin’s face dropped so suddenly, even he could barely catch it.
“You and I are gonna discuss In The Mood For Love and start the outline for your paper next Tuesday. I cleared my schedule for it.” He looked back up at Hao with a growing tilted smile.
“We are?”
“We are now.” Hao looked away shyly, still clearly trying to avoid a smile.
“When can we work on your script then?”
“I’m free every Thursday.” Hanbin hummed and mentally scanned his weekly calendar.
“Me too. So Thursday it is then?”
“Thursday.” Hao twirled the pasta on his fork and smiled like a cheeky little geek. “Sounds like a date.”
Hanbin mentally applauded himself. Second date with Hottest Twink Alive™, secured! He almost died from choking on his own spit like twice, but nevertheless, he prevailed. It’s a win for the gays.
Later that night, as their absolutely perfect date was about to come to an end, Hanbin offered to walk Hao back to his dorm since apparently their dorms are right across from one another’s.
“So his name is ddungjjungham?” Hao held back a smile that seemed to grow bigger the longer he watched Hanbin explain the concept to him.
“Yes, exactly.”
“And he’s a toy hamster?” Hanbin nodded excitedly.
“Yes. I got him as proof that any inanimate object can be treated as a pet, an object with conscience, and can possess experiences as long as you perceive it onto the object.”
“I see, well maybe you can bring him next time so ddungjjungham can experience what a date with a real gentleman like you looks like.” Hanbin tried his best not to become a blushing fool after that.
“You give me too much credit.” He mumbled shyly.
“It’s not too much, it’s just enough.” Hao beamed at him and gestured at the building ahead of them. “This is me.”
“I live right across, over there.” Hanbin pointed behind them with an amusing snicker. “All this time, you were right across from me and I’ve never once come across you? How is that even possible?”
“Well, I’m here now.” Hao smiled before shivering at the sudden gust of chilly night wind that blew past them.
“Ah, you’re cold. I’m sorry, I should’ve brought a jacket.” Hanbin smoothly found his hands to rest on Hao’s biceps as they continued walking at a glacial pace.
“It’s cool, I should’ve dressed up for the temperature. These clothes are way too warm for the weather, I don’t even know what Ricky was thinking.”
“Ricky dressed you?” Hanbin eyed him up and down once again, finally locking eyes with the peeking waistband of Hao’s Balenciaga underwear. He swore he tried his best not to salivate over it the whole night, he couldn’t give up now.
“Yeah, I know it’s a little silly but I wanted to look nice.”
“You do.” Hanbin kept his eyes completely locked onto Hao’s hips in that Balenciaga band, his waist in that tight tank top, every curve and crevice of his stomach fully evident through the sheer fabric of the tank top. “You look…hot.”
Hao stopped in his steps underneath a lamppost right in front of Hao’s building, only now noticing Hanbin’s eyes that could tear a hole right through him.
“You think so?” Hao took a few careful steps forward, hand resting over Hanbin’s chest and sliding up, higher and higher as Hanbin’s breath quivered. “Ricky said he owed you a dollar for ice cream or something. He said this was his way of repaying you.”
“God bless you, Shen Ricky.” Hao burst out into such fond laughter as he continued to casually place his other hand over Hanbin’s shoulder, slowly moving them up until he’s wrapped his arms around his neck.
“You’re adorable, you know that?” Hanbin’s eyes met Hao’s, only now registering how close Hao had gotten to him. “I’m glad I was here to see you like this. Truth be told, I was a bit hesitant to come and show up today.”
“How come?” Hanbin’s hands hovered over Hao’s waist, not really touching him, not really far away from him either.
“Well, I was worried about something my friends said. They said it wasn’t gonna work out between us, that we’re practically like…” Hao chuckled to himself at the faint memory of Ricky’s voice in his head, “like strawberry milk and soju. I was afraid I’d be too strong and bitter for someone so sweet like you.”
“Good thing those two mix well, then. I needed someone strong and bitter to balance out the sweetness. You and I go well together, Hao.” Hao smiled at him fondly as his eyes darted down to Hanbin’s lips. “I’m glad you came tonight.”
“I’m glad I did too. I had a good time, Hanbin.” Hao leaned his weight until his waist finally made contact with Hanbin's hovering hands. “But the night is still young, we could still be having fun if you come upstairs with me?”
Hanbin’s eyes landed down at his own hands that now rested on this man’s waist. For the very first time in his life, the best thing he’s ever had sat under his fingertips, sending him the smallest electric shocks every time he realized the flesh that pressed against his fingertips.
Then, slowly, his eyes traveled all the way up to Hao’s parted lips.
He couldn’t help but notice Hao’s eyes on his own lips as well. This was it. Hanbin’s chance to prove once and for all that he was indeed capable of doing anything casually. All he needed to do was kiss him and say yes. That was all he needed to do.
If he did this, without another second thought, if he did this now and never looked back, then he would’ve proved his point.
He tried, he really did. He tried to push himself, bring himself to lean in without asking for permission, without hesitating any further. Hao leaned in closer and closer too, but the difference between them was that Hao never stopped, there was no sign of hesitation within him.
He only stopped right as their noses were a centimeter away from brushing up against each other. Hanbin nearly felt like his heart was about to leap from his chest.
He wanted it, that much was true. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it without properly asking, he tried, he really did.
And by some miracle, it seemed like Hao knew exactly what was on his mind.
To his surprise, Hao tilted his head and pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek. “I was kidding, pretty boy. I know you don’t do casual.”
Hanbin let out a long, frustrated sigh. “Did Ricky tell you that?”
“So what if he did?”
Hanbin lowered his head. “I’m sorry. I really tried, I really wanted to be all chill and casual about this. I wanted to show you that if casual was what you wanted to do then I could do it, I could give you what you wanted but—”
“Hanbin,” Hao planted his hands firmly on his shoulders, “If casual was what I wanted, then I never would’ve listened to you ramble on about a toy hamster for 10 minutes straight.”
“Was it really 10 minutes long?” Hao brushed his fingers against Hanbin’s ears softly, playing with the curves of the shell as he nodded endearingly. “So this is okay with you then? Or is this too serious for you?”
Hao shook his head no. “It’s not too serious, this is what I want too. Casual is overrated anyway.” Hanbin found himself smiling at Hao’s straightforwardness. Hao seemed to get him in such a specific way and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make him want to kiss him even more right then and there.
“Okay, good. I think that you do deserve to know though,” Hanbin gently stroked the area of Hao’s stomach where his thumb rested, “I really do want to kiss you. It’s just that I’m the kind of person who would rather do it in a particular way.”
He didn’t answer that time. Instead, he leaned in and let his nose brush up against Hanbin’s cheek. “Next time,” Hao whispered as his lips nearly pressed against Hanbin’s ear, “Don’t hesitate to ask me permission for something that you want, okay?”
He pulled back, fingers slowly brushing down past Hanbin’s neck and shoulders, finally letting them go.
“How did you know that I wanted to ask you first?”
Hao broke free from Hanbin’s hands and looked back at him with a tilted smile, as if to say that the answer was quite obvious already. “Good night, Sung Hanbin.” Was all he said as he left Hanbin standing under that lamppost with a dumbfounded smile on his face and a trace of Hao’s cherry chapstick on his cheek.
“Hao,” He turned back just as he reached his door, “I didn’t fumble, did I?”
Hao leaned his head against the door and smiled at him teasingly, “Ask me again after you finally ask me to kiss you, then maybe I’ll give you an answer.”
Hanbin watched Hao’s back disappear through that door on that cold evening and all he could think about was that exact moment, tying in all the other scattered traces of Zhang Hao that left him struck and smitten that night alone.
He made a mental promise to himself to never see that man walk away from him again without knowing what it feels like to have their lips unite and taste the feeling that bellowed deep within their souls.
He made sure of it.
Act V: Keeping A Lego Piece
Tuesday came around, almost impossibly slow for those two. The night that they both returned to their respective dorms, Hao’s immediate reaction was to lay flat on his floor with the biggest smile on his face and squeal every time he recalled every little part of his body that came into contact with Hanbin.
This was it, Hao thought. This was the date. This was the meetcute. He wanted to stop himself so bad from coming to conclusions and jinxing anything. And whenever he wanted to ground himself, keep himself from flying too close to the sun, or overthinking way too much, he’d stay right there flat on the floor.
They had exchanged phone numbers to be more formal while they were still at the cafe and Hanbin did promise to text him the second he got home. So, naturally, like a fool, Hao pulled out his phone and put it next to him on the floor.
He vowed not to touch the thing until he felt the vibration of his phone on the floor. He knew he would be eagerly waiting like a dog if he let himself hold his phone to wait.
1 minute had passed by. 2, 3, 4, 5. Surely Hanbin could’ve made it home by now. He waited for another 5 minutes but he was just getting more and more impatient, where is this man?
He didn’t forget to message Hao, did he?
Ugh, of course he did. That was just Hao’s luck. Of course he would’ve gone from quite possibly the best and most sexually charged first date of his life to being forgotten by that same guy right after.
It was only 10 minutes but it was starting to feel more and more like 20, 30, even up to an hour.
Eventually, the hype inside of him died down. Hanbin must’ve forgotten. Hao was ready to accept that as he stood up from the ground and shrugged off the denim shirt keeping his shoulders warm until he noticed a strange blue blur moving in fast circles around the roundabout outside of his building.
It took him a while and a few squints to realize it was Hanbin in his jeans and his dark blue flannel, running around with arms raised up in victory like he had just won the lottery or something.
So that’s what he’s been doing for nearly 10 minutes now? Hao felt himself laughing at how absolutely adorable that looked.
Hanbin was indeed happy, he couldn’t even keep it in anymore. He waited for Hao to get up on the elevator until he actually started running around.
He knew he couldn’t go home with that much adrenaline in his body otherwise he’d end up disturbing his neighbors or jerking off, neither of which seemed at all ideal after such a spectacular first date. So naturally, he landed on running to get his energy down.
Whether or not it was working seemed to be irrelevant to him now as the only thing left on his mind was the fact that the man he had been calling the Hottest Twink Alive™ just gave him a kiss on the cheek. And left a mark.
It seemed like he didn’t have any plans of stopping until his phone started ringing in his pocket.
“Hello?” Hanbin faked a calm and polite greeting in between pants.
“So this is why you haven’t messaged me at all huh?”
Hanbin frowned, “Hao? Hi, I was gonna message you but I haven’t gotten home yet.”
“I can see that, you seem occupied.” Hao tapped his window, giving little Hanbin a little head pat from his window. “Look up, pretty boy.”
Hanbin’s eyes instantly lit up as he saw Hao’s face with an adoring smile on a window on the 5th floor. “How long have you been watching me?”
“Since about three rounds ago.” Hanbin chuckled and held up a hand to wave at him.
“I guess that means you definitely don’t think I’m cool now.”
“Oh I stopped thinking that the second I saw your letterboxd Top 4.” Hao continued tracing his finger on the window, outlining Hanbin’s silhouette from a distance.
“You’re never gonna let that go are you?”
Hao giggled fondly, “Nope. And I’m not letting this one go either.”
They continued talking on the phone, arguing about Hanbin’s letterboxd choices for the hundredth time, until Hanbin reached his dorm building. The second they dropped the call, Hanbin immediately looked back at the building across from him to see Hao’s window still lit up. And then, he finally sent a message, telling Hao that he just got home.
Those two were glued to their phones until that long anticipated Tuesday finally came around. Throughout the rest of the week, every single day was spent with Hanbin’s “good morning” and Hao’s “good night.”
Every lunchtime, every class, every time and anytime they had the chance, they were on their phones tapping away with big goofy smiles on their faces.
When Tuesday finally rolled around, Hao couldn’t stop talking about how sweet and romantic the date was, how they held each other’s hands for the first time, and talked about things that mattered to them.
They soon made it their own little thing to go out and see each other every Tuesday to help out Hanbin with the outline of his paper and every Thursday to help Hao with building his characters for his upcoming film.
They met up every Tuesday and Thursday at that cafe, ordered the same pasta and salad like it was a routine. They brought their laptops and flirted like crazy but somehow they were able to get quite a lot of work done. Then they would end the night with Hanbin walking him back to his dorm and Hao leaving him with yet another good night kiss on the cheek.
Three weeks of just this whole thing had passed by, three weeks of them endlessly messaging one another every chance they got, seeing each other regularly from 2 days every week to 3 and eventually 4.
Ricky and Taerae hadn’t expected that at all. They both thought one of them was bound to fumble on that first date or that they would start to fall off after a week or so, they also thought hearing Hao whine about how anxious he was about the said date would be the most severe they would ever have to hear.
But again, they’ve been proven terribly wrong. For the past few weeks, almost every single thing coming out of Hao’s mouth was all Hanbin, Hanbin, Hanbin.
He was aware of it too and he tried his best not to do it as often but somehow, his brain just kept coming back to Hanbin.
“Did you know Hanbin’s actually allergic to shellfish?” He said as they ate at a local seafood joint.
“Actually Hanbin told me that you shouldn’t drink cold water every morning.” He said as he warned Ricky about his upset stomach.
“I saw that post too! Hanbin sent it to me.” He said as Ricky showed them a funny little tweet about their university.
“Ah Hanbin told me it was easy for him to get a license though.” He said as they discussed how Taerae got his driver’s license.
There were countless other examples and one would think Ricky and Taerae would get easily sick of Hao talking about Hanbin endlessly. But those two knew Hao well enough to know that this never happens.
Every time Hao spoke, he looked happy. As opposed to the Hao they were faced with just a week ago, the same one that was always so gloomy and sulky about how he couldn’t finish his script at all.
Now, it seems, Hao has gotten immensely more productive. Ricky’s been hearing all about how Hao’s building this character, Jian’s personality. Taerae couldn’t stop noticing how often Hao jotted down notes and little ideas for his characters as well.
This was the type of bliss and productivity that Hao only seemed to get after a well-deserved and freeing but very eye-opening breakup.
His friends were kind of really proud of him for that. It seemed like for the first time, Hao was actually writing slowly, cohesively, and productively for once, without needing a heartbreak to fuel him through it.
Ricky and Taerae’s Hole Cycle Theory was starting to feel dumb, even to both of them. And Ricky had a feeling he knew exactly why that was. Neither him nor Taerae wanted to admit it, but the results were right in front of them already.
Could this finally be the end of the dreaded Hole Cycle?
Tuesday finally came around, their fourth Movie Tuesday. It was also a Tuesday filled with the absolute worst pining known to man radiating off of Hanbin.
He had been planning it since their first night, since the night he slept with cherry chapstick on his cheek (yes, he refused to wash it off and got made fun of by Gyuvin and Matthew endlessly). After Hao offered for them to meet up at his dorm that week, Hanbin knew this had to be it. This was his chance to finally kiss the guy.
He didn’t really have much clothes to wear for such a comfy casual sort of situation, so he just chose his best flannel and jeans and ran with it. But what he spent nearly 3 hours on was choosing the right perfume to wear.
Hao mentioned it to him sometime last week, while they were on call in the middle of Hao’s writing session. Apparently, he’s very sensitive to smells—a trait he shares with Hanbin—and was particularly akin to very strong scents, even if they seem bad at first. Which was why he seemed to oddly like durian, something about the smell being strong enough drew him in.
If it was up to Hanbin, he’d be showing up doused in his favorite perfume but he had to think of this strategically now. This was Zhang Hao, we’re talking about here, Hottest Twink Alive™.
He had to play his cards correctly here. When it comes to Hao, Hanbin couldn’t let himself slack off. Everything had to be perfect, everything had to work out.
Three hours and three perfumes layered on top of one another from his extensive collection later and he was finally ready to go. He slapped on a black cap and a black and white flannel and headed straight for his long awaited date.
Haottest Twink Alive ™️💖
6:30 PM
don’t be late okay?
don’t forget your laptop too
I won’t :)
what’s your unit number again?
569
hahaha 69
…
ur so unserious
I am but you said u think I’m hot so
really u got urself into this mess
don’t remind me, I’m still hesitant to do this
everytime I remember the book of fucking life
here we go again
HAHAHAHAHA lighten up
don’t worry I still think ur hot even despite that
haohao is really that obsessed with me huh?
yeah don’t let it get to ur head
oh also, pizza’s good enough right?
I was thinking about ordering chicken too
but I wasn’t sure
pizza’s good with me
if u want I can bring some chicken over?
ur not trying to trick me right?
like ur not trying to bring a whole live chicken into my dorm are you?
what? no, of course not that would be crazy
okay fine maybe I was thinking about it a little bit
BUT ITS NOT LIKE I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT
I fucking knew it
I know ur ass sung hanbin
forget the chicken, just bring something for dessert
hahahaha okay sure, what do you want?
fresh fruit will do
any? or do you want something in particular?
hmm
maybe a pineapple :)
okay, pineapples coming right up!
He arrived right in front of Hao’s door at exactly 6:30 PM, with his backpack on his shoulder and the best damn pineapple in his hands.
“6:30 on the dot.” Hao leaned against his doorframe upon opening it as he eyed his hot date up and down. “You’re a real punctual guy, huh?”
“I am. Is that one of your kinks or something?”
“Maybe.” Hao shrugged and opened the door wider, inviting him to come in. “I do love a guy who comes when he’s told.”
Hanbin snickered, he had somehow gotten used to Hao’s talent (yes, actual real talent) to turn just about anything horny. Hanbin was kind of obsessed with it.
“So, this is your place huh.” He kicked off his shoes and placed them right outside Hao’s door as he entered carefully.
The first thing he noticed of course was just how big this place actually was compared to his dorm. They both had single rooms but somehow the rooms in the scholar’s building had bigger rooms. Perks of having a scholarship perhaps.
Hao seemed to have made it his own though. He had a small kitchenette on the right side just as you entered the space and his closet right next to it. He was lucky to have his own private bathroom on the left that he decorated with eucalyptus branches on the shower and a bunch of other plants around the mirror though curiously there were way too many fairy lights and candles in there, like freakishly so. Probably a fire hazard or something but he digressed.
Interestingly enough, his bed on the inner left corner of the space, was pressed against the wall between the room and the bathroom. It was a single bed in plain white beddings with a low to the ground wooden bedframe.
Seemed sturdy enough to fit two people, Hanbin noted. He kind of hoped it was sturdy enough for fucking too, just in case.
Another thing that caught his attention were the walls around them that seemed to have those foam soundproofing tiles on every other surface, even the door had some sort of soundproofing mechanism.
His little L-shaped study desk was flushed against the window where Hao had waved at him on the night of their first date. Hao’s cozy little writing setup on his desk seemed to put a smile on Hanbin’s face. All that boy had was a laptop, a coaster with a red panda’s face on it, and a vision. Though the little frames of various pictures of his friends and family around the desk couldn’t go unnoticed either.
In the middle of the room though across the small loveseat couch on the foot of Hao’s bed, was a small coffee table where everything seemed to be scattered all across it. The left wall had a small flat screen TV installed, so perhaps the coffee table was the main entertainment area.
Aside from the furniture around them though, all the little things Hao had pinned on his walls seemed to be very Hao. Posters of old hong kong movies and vintage black and white movies from the 30s to the 50s, but the biggest one of them all was a poster of The Wizard of Oz (1939).
Hanbin recalled the name he first knew Hao from. User zhao the good witch. That seemed to make a lot more sense now.
“Did you bring the pineapple?” Hao noticed Hanbin trailing off and admiring the posters around them. “Bin?”
“Oh, yeah.” He handed the pineapple over to Hao and slid off his backpack.
“You like the posters? I’ve had them up for a while but I rearranged them recently. Some of these are new actually, like that one over there.” Hao gestured at the poster of The Perks of Being A Wallflower (2012).
“You like that movie?” Hanbin looked at him surprisingly.
“I do, what can I say?” He shrugged, “I have an affinity for cheeky losers.”
“Did you just call me a loser?” Hao giggled and made his way over to his kitchenette’s narrow counter.
“What about you? Do you like the movie?”
“I did, it was gonna be on my Top 4 but I changed my mind last minute.” Hao turned around slowly with his eyes narrowing on Hanbin.
“Do not tell me you replaced it for The Book of Life?”
Hanbin pursed his lips awkwardly, refusing to answer. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I like a guy who thinks ‘The Book Of Life’ is more Top-4-worthy than ‘The Perks of Being A Wallflower’?!”
Hanbin’s ears perked up like a puppy. “You like me?” He said in a mockingly sweet tone.
Hao froze and turned around to face away from him. “I never said that.”
“Yes, you did! You said you liked me!”
“You’re delusional. It’s the lack of pineapples in your system.” Hanbin shook his head and tutted, placing his hands carefully on Hao’s waist from behind.
“No, you said,” He muttered in a low voice, “You like me.”
“So what if I do?”
Hanbin suddenly started chuckling and wrapped his arms around Hao fully, lifting him up into the air playfully. Giggles and several unserious warnings from Hao to stop twirling him around later, and suddenly they were on the floor laughing like a bunch of idiots.
“I thought you came here for help on your paper, why are you dragging me to the floor and attacking me instead?” Hao said as he positioned himself to lay on Hanbin’s forearm.
“Who said I came here for that? I came here for something else.”
“Oh yeah? And what would that be?” Hanbin lifted his arm up and swiftly rolled Hao over until Hao was inches away from him.
“Guess.” He stared down at Hao’s lips as his free hand found its way to Hao’s waist. He was getting ready. He knew he could definitely do it this time.
He was finally about to speak when Hao suddenly sat up and pulled away from him.
“You should put the movie on already.” He gulped and faced the counter once again, purposely avoiding Hanbin’s gaze on him. “I already queued the movie, just press play and it should start.”
Did he do something wrong? What was up with that?
“Hao? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah!” He said in an unusually high voice, “I’m perfectly fine. I just really want pineapples, that’s all.” He started carving the pineapple open with a bread knife—kind of pathetic but Hanbin decided not to comment on it and instead pressed play on the movie just as Hao told him to.
A few minutes more had passed by and Hao was still confused and struggling on how to actually open that thing. It wasn’t his fault, he only ever bought the canned pineapples none of this fresh from the farm shit. He at least thought Hanbin had bought the already sliced ones.
“Do you need some help there?” Hanbin couldn’t bring himself to focus on the movie. All he knew was that this one hot cop seemed to really like talking on the phone.
He probably would’ve paid more attention if Hao wasn’t shaking his cute little ass while attempting to saw through the pineapple, like it was a slab of wood. He probably would’ve paid more attention if there wasn’t this big cloud of tension in between them either.
“I got it!” He was actually mentally calling that damn fruit a cunt in every language he knew and was 5 minutes away from looking up a tutorial on tiktok. “I’m almost done, just sit tight and wait for your pineapples.”
“Hao, you still have the stalk on there.” Hao stopped and pretended to know that.
“Yeah, it’s just like how my mom used to slice it.” Even he was baffled at his own lie.
“Hao, come on,” Hanbin finally paused the movie and walked up to him, “Just let me do it, you’re gonna cut yourself if you keep doing this.”
“No, it’s fine, I swear! I got it!” Hao insisted, his hand tightening on the pineapple stalk.
“Fine,” Hanbin leaned his back against the counter, “If you’re not gonna let me cut it then at least tell me why you’re suddenly so upset.”
Hao stopped slicing through the pineapple. “I change my mind, I think you’d be better at slicing pineapples than me.” He handed Hanbin the dull bread knife and was about to head back to the coffee table when Hanbin grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.
“Nope, I slice and you explain. Go.”
“I don’t need to explain anything because nothing’s wrong!” Hao’s voice cracked embarrassingly. “Damn it.” Hanbin gave him a simple suspicious look. “Fine. I’ll do it.” He gave in and hopped up to sit on the counter as Hanbin switched knives.
“It’s not that I didn’t wanna kiss you, I do! But I don’t know…in my head, I guess I kind of got used to the idea of this being the type of thing that moves at a glacial pace. I kind of thought we would end up kissing after another week or so from now because I thought that’s maybe what you would be comfortable with.”
“Is that what you’re comfortable with? Another week? I don’t mind waiting for another week if that’s what you want.”
“What?” Hao clicked his tongue, “No, no, it’s not about what I want. It’s about what you want. I want to make you feel that I am willing to wait for however long you need me to if that’s what’s comfortable for you.”
“I appreciate that, Hao. Thank you for letting me know that.” Hao looked down at Hanbin’s hands that had just finished slicing up the pineapples in long vertical slices. “But let me just clarify something because it seems like the way that you see me is someone who can only ever take things very very slowly.”
Hanbin picked up one of the slices and moved closer to Hao, positioning himself between Hao’s legs, “It’s been nearly four weeks, Hao. And in my book, that’s plenty of time to move however we want to. It’s a normal pace, Hao. I’m very much willing to take this relationship at a normal pace. I can kiss you today and fuck you like hell tomorrow.” Hao felt his face flush in a way it definitely hasn’t before.
“It’s not about the pace of things for me, you see? It all depends on your consent and the things that you’re willing to verbally ask me. Do you understand?” Hanbin held up the pineapple slice in front of Hao, asking for a sign of confirmation.
Now, Hao’s options here were to either nod, say yes, or something equivalent to that. But somehow, in his own little Hao world, he had decided on this.
He opened his mouth and oh so very slowly wrapped his lips around the tip of the pineapple slice, his pink wet tongue greeting the underside of the fruit as he moved further down the stalk and let his teeth bite off a big chunk. His eyes never once broke away from Hanbin’s.
“Does that answer your question?” He said as he swallowed the chewed up pineapple in his mouth and subtly licked his lips.
At that point, there were no longer any thoughts running through Hanbin’s mind. Well, no decent ones, perhaps.
The only thing on his mind right now was Hao and his goddamn fuck me eyes, his pretty pink lips, his hot wet tongue, and the knowledge that Hao’s mouth could fit all that and possibly more.
If only Hanbin was less of a gentleman, he would’ve pulled Hao down to his knees and fucked his throat right then and there.
There was absolutely nothing holy about the thoughts that raised through his mind and yet the only two words that kept repeating in his head was “Holy Shit.” Over and over and over again.
Eventually, Hao broke the silence, and joked about something related to pineapples. He dragged him over back to the coffee table and resumed the film but even then, there just wasn’t any hope left for poor Hanbin.
The longer he sat there next to Hao while his hand traced little shapes over Hanbin’s knee, the more he felt dizzier and oh so impossibly harder.
He was trying his best not to hide it, but the pants he wore just couldn’t conceal it well enough. He was sure Hao could see it too, otherwise he wouldn’t have kept tracing Hanbin’s knee over and over again.
Hanbin wanted to take his hand and press it right up against the outline on his pants. He wanted to tell him right then and there to take a look at what he had done. He wanted to see Hao on his knees so damn bad, it was getting more and more difficult to hold back as more and more time passed by.
Hao pretended to stay unaware, he watched the movie patiently, ate pizza and pineapples together, let Hanbin’s arm wrap itself around his shoulder as they leaned their backs against the couch.
He didn’t regret a single thing though, he needed to make it known to Hanbin that this was, in fact, what he wanted. It didn’t matter to him how or when, what mattered was that it was Hanbin.
Hao wanted to let him know that he wanted Hanbin. He needed Hanbin. And he could give Hanbin everything he could ever ask for. But he would never say that aloud until at least the second makeout session.
Though all this patience and waiting between them just seemed to make everything hotter for him. He couldn’t even focus on Takeshi’s pineapples anymore when all he could think about was Hanbin.
Hanbin’s attention. Hanbin’s eyes. Hanbin’s hands. Hanbin’s touch. Hanbin’s voice. Hanbin’s body. Hanbin everywhere. Hanbin’s everything. Hao needed it so bad, he needed all of him so damn badly.
And then the movie ended.
Hanbin never once looked away from Hao since they sat back down together.
“So that’s the movie, what did you think?” Hao turned off the TV and turned his head to face Hanbin’s bright red face and eyes that just weren’t the same as the Hanbin that had walked into that room so punctually.
“I thought it was boring.” He said bluntly.
“Well, of course, it was boring. All you ever did was stare at me! You didn’t even pay attention to the movie.” Hanbin shrugged slyly.
“I could care less about that damn movie.”
“Hey, watch it! That’s one of my favorite movies of all time.” There was a shift in Hao’s tone, not really serious, not that playful either. It was a lot more like the tone he used when talking to his crew members and giving them orders. It was his “on set” voice, something that seemed to instantly bring people to get their heads together and get to business.
It seemed to work on Hanbin as well though, almost instantly, his sharp dagger eyes switched right back to his bright, kind, pretty boy eyes that Hao liked so much.
“Sorry, it wasn’t bad. I guess I just really don’t like it.” Hanbin said so casually, like he wasn’t just thinking such absolutely carnal thoughts. “I did like the Garfield stuff toy though, I’m not gonna lie.”
Hao snickered, yeah that was his Hanbin, alright.
“I bet if I cleaned your place you wouldn’t notice anything changed either.”
Hanbin found that hard to believe. “How so?”
“You seem like the type of person who’s only so observant about other people yet not so observant about things going on with you.”
“How can you say that?”
“Well, for starters, you didn’t notice you were giving me bedroom eyes the whole film and accidentally mumbled ‘fuck’ once during the scene where 223’s beeper goes off.”
Shy, easily flustered, Hanbin returned to Hao. Oh how he missed him.
“I didn’t think you noticed that.”
“I notice everything.” Hao smiled and leaned his head against Hanbin’s shoulder. “I bet you think I didn’t notice your perfume either.”
“Do you like it? Or is it too much? You said you liked really strong scents so I thought layering something floral and woody and musky together would be something you’d like.”
“I do like it.” Hao giggled and placed another cherry chapstick kiss on Hanbin’s cheek. “Thanks for putting in the effort, Hanbinnie.”
Hanbin giggled fondly at the ticklish feeling of Hao’s lips brushing against his cheek. “Did I do a better job than Takeshi? All he did was run around and wash shoes and take care of a drunk woman, I layered my perfume for you. That should count for something right?”
“I don’t know, would you eat 30 cans of expired pineapples for me?”
“Oh for sure.” Hanbin nodded with conviction. “I’d eat a hundred expired cans of pineapples for you if it meant that you’d be happy.”
Hao liked that. Fun little movie jokes, fun little movie related flirting and one liners. He never got to joke about that kind of thing with anyone before, if he tried they didn’t really like it nor get it.
But Hanbin got it. Because he made the effort to. And that’s exactly what Hao likes the most about him.
After a while, Hao made Hanbin pull out his laptop and start taking notes for his paper. Hao really was serious about helping him on that. That must’ve been what Hanbin liked the most about him.
Hao was serious when it came to academics and it showed. He was apparently the top scholar at their high school and got a full ride to this university for his outstanding grades, all while being a foreigner. Hanbin thought that was so damn hot of him.
“So that’s the plot and the physical elements that’s supporting it. You have to remember those elements, most of the symbolism in these films are very important.” Hanbin finished typing away everything Hao had told him to.
“Wow, how the hell did you get all of that from 1 hour and 37 minutes?”
“We do this kind of thing a lot, you tend to develop an eye for it eventually. Plus, I also did a paper on this exact movie before.” Hanbin shut off his laptop and tossed it away, arms eventually returning back around Hao.
“Thanks for the help, I thought I was gonna have a way more difficult time but I’m glad you’re here to help me.”
“Of course. If I didn’t, then you might start dropping low reviews on letterboxd and bickering with other cinephile twinks.” Hanbin chuckled and nuzzled his nose against Hao’s cheek.
“I only want one cinephile twink in my life, though.”
“You sure about that? What if those other twinks would make you boarding passes like Faye did? Would you still not want them?”
“Who needs them when you’re the one cleaning my apartment for me and waiting until I notice?” Hao’s smile grew bigger.
“What if they’re prettier than me?”
“Oh, Hao.” Hanbin placed his finger on Hao’s sharp chin, their faces inching closer by the second. “There’s nobody in this world that could be prettier than you.”
Hanbin tilted his head, eyes fixed right where they always fell, onto Hao’s lips that parted invitingly. That feeling of anticipation suddenly began building up in Hanbin’s stomach yet again.
He was so sure this was gonna be it, it was gonna happen today. But that look in Hao’s eyes, that sense of worry he had the last time he tried to do it.
It just kept holding him back.
Hanbin froze right where he was, he stopped leaning in, he stopped doing anything. He just froze right as he was.
He was about to speak, about to finally ask but his mind was racing faster than his mouth ever could. All that doubt kept building up once again as his grip on Hao’s chin tightened.
“Bin,” Hao finally broke the deafening silence between them, “Ask me. Ask me now.”
“Are you sure? Is this really okay?” He nodded and let out something like a whimper.
Hanbin’s eyes darted up to the rest of Hao’s face and saw something he had failed to notice just now. There was need in Hao’s face, desperate need. Like that whimper from his lips, Hao needed something from Hanbin.
It was what Hao’s been trying to tell him all day, the whole time he was here.
Hao needed Hanbin.
He needed that very space between them gone, he needed those lips on his, that body on his body, those hands intertwined dearly with his own. He needed it, he needed it like it was the very thing that made his heart pump out blood to the rest of his aching, needy body.
And who would Hanbin be to deny such a dire need?
“Hao,” His thumb traced the bottom of Hao’s lips as he finally whispered, “Can I kiss you?”
“Yes. Yes, please.” His hands gripped Hanbin’s thigh desperately. “Please, I need you.”
And that was all he needed to hear.
At that moment, Hanbin’s lips finally met the soft lips of the man he had been dreaming of since he first laid eyes on him.
The soft feeling of such plush skin moving against his own, the taste of pineapples lingering between them, and the way his very lips moved like they were dancing against Hanbin’s.
This was the very thing Hao needed so desperately, something he had been deprived of, and something that gave him a surge of energy the longer their lips stayed connected.
It started out feeling electric and mind-fucking-blowing.
But as soon as Hao had been supplied with the air he so desperately needed, he grew hungry for more, more, more.
Hao’s hands traveled up from Hanbin’s thigh to his shoulders, up to his neck, until he held up Hanbin’s cheeks. He pressed their lips impossibly closer to one another’s, his eyebrows furrowed deeply, like this was real business to him.
And then it happened.
It was sleuthy, really, like a slithering snake. Hao’s tongue traced Hanbin’s bottom lip briefly, it almost felt like it was just an accident until he did it again as slow as he possibly could.
Then his lips moved up to suck on Hanbin’s top lip, earning such a sinful moan out of Hanbin. But he wasn’t done there just yet.
Hao once again traced his lips with his tongue and without a warning, started brushing it up against Hanbin’s own tongue. Hanbin couldn’t control his moans anymore, he barely even noticed the tight grip he had on Hao’s waist.
This was driving him absolutely crazy. The way Hao’s tongue further entered Hanbin’s mouth, inviting his tongue to come out. And the second he felt Hanbin’s tongue dart out, he took the chance and started sucking Hanbin’s tongue.
Hanbin groaned, the tent in his pants getting impossibly bigger the longer Hao spent with his lips wrapped around Hanbin’s tongue.
He was a mess, he was in irreparable shambles by the time that Hao pulled away to get some air.
His heart was pounding out of his chest, his hands fisted Hao’s shirt as he panted. He stared at Hao who looked at him like he was guilty but not regretful and yet still just a little bit more desperate.
“I want more.” Hao pulled him in for another kiss and started with little baby kisses on Hanbin’s own wet lips.
“I know baby, I know.” Hanbin rubbed his thumb against Hao’s waist, he tried to resist, he really did. But he knew they needed to slow down. He moved his lips to Hao’s cheek, trailing soft kisses up to his ear instead.
“I want more.” Hao whined, “Please, please, more.”
“Hao, baby, you have to slow down.” His voice was soft now, full of care and gentleness.
“But I want more, Hanbinnie.” He tugged at Hanbin’s tank top and pulled him closer, “Please, I’ll do anything. Please.”
Well he had never seen this side of Hao before. Completely needy, completely pathetic just from kissing alone. But Hanbin knew what to do, he always did.
“I know you would, baby.” He holds onto Hao’s cheeks and caresses them carefully until he starts to feel Hao’s pulse start to slowly calm down. “Why don’t you just hug me for a bit and we’ll see if you still want more later, okay?”
“But I want it now.” Hanbin pulled him in and started cuddling him.
“I know, but you said you’d do anything, right?” Hao hummed and eventually wrapped his arms around Hanbin, staying close to his heartbeat until he fully calmed down. They stayed like that just cuddling on Hao’s tiny couch for a while, a good 30 minutes maybe.
30 minutes of just Hanbin playing with Hao’s hair.
30 minutes of just Hao listening to Hanbin’s heartbeat.
Eventually, the clock on Hanbin’s phone displayed the time. 9 PM? Was it really that late already?
“Hao?” He called out softly.
“Yeah?” Hanbin stroked his hair as he hummed.
“Are you back?” Hao hummed a low response.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He replied sweetly.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” He pressed a gentle kiss on Hao’s forehead. “I do have to go soon, though. I have an early class tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, right.” Hao pulled away from Hanbin’s embrace. “I didn’t even notice the time.” He stood up and started cleaning up instinctively. “Do you want some pizza to take with you? Or some pineapples for that matter? I can pack some up for you.”
He sprang up on his feet and started looking for tupperware through the cupboards over his kitchenette. “I’m sure I have something to pack some of those up for you, give me a minute, though. I can’t really…” A pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around Hao’s waist. “Find them.”
“Relax, Hao.” Hao leaned his weight against him, “I don’t need to take any food with me. I’ll be fine. Will you be fine here?”
“I will.” Hao replied just as softly. “Why would you think I won’t?”
“Well you did just act like a whirlwind the second I brought up going home.”
“Didn’t realize you caught that.” He sighed and faced him, “I’m sorry, I guess I’m just trying not to think about missing you when you go.”
Hanbin cooed at that. He was seeing all the different sides of Hao tonight. From his usual witty and snarky Hao, to a needy little baby Hao, to a vixen Hao that bit that pineapple and hiked his foot up Hanbin’s leg on their first date, and now the softest and clingiest Hao, this had to be Hanbin’s favorite so far.
“We’ll see each other again this Thursday, right? And I’ll text you as soon as I get home, okay?”
“Thursday.” Hao nodded, “Your place this time?”
“Are you sure? My place is a bit smaller than yours. You might feel a bit uncomfortable with the space.”
“Oh no, don’t worry.” Hao leaned in closer to wrap his arms around Hanbin, his own lips grazing closer to Hanbin’s ear, “I plan to make myself very comfortable.”
Now, that was vixen Hao alright. “You’re planning something. What is it?” Hanbin smirked at all the possibilities.
“The answer’s in my throat, fuck it and find out.” He whispered in the hottest whisper Hanbin has ever heard.
Well, he was going home with a boner that night.
Those words wouldn’t leave Hanbin’s mind as he kissed Hao goodbye, as he walked out of that building, as he entered his room, and now as he laid down on his bed after just jerking off in the shower at the very thought that Hao just left with him.
Fuck it and find out. Fuck it and find out. Fuck it and find out.
It was like poetry in his ears, really.
Haomily Dickinson really had a way with his words because it’s been about two hours or so since he left Hao’s apartment and yet his words still rang in Hanbin’s ears like an echo.
Somehow, Hao must’ve sensed that from a whole building away and decided to make things even more interesting.
Haottest Twink Alive ™️💖
hi 🩷
hey :))
I miss you
wyd?
getting ready for bed, u?
same :)
just finished showering actually
took me a while to get the smell of pineapples off of my hands lol
I could’ve taken care of that for you
oh yeah? how so?
would’ve sucked it right out of you
yk just for practice
geez the mouth on you
can you ever go a whole day without talking about sex at least once?
no, I’d be obliterated actually
do you not like it?
oh I do, don’t get me wrong
I’m a big fan of your dirty mouth
oh I know 😏
you should see what else my mouth can do
I think you pretty much showed just what your mouth can do today
oh
right
did you…
did you like it though?
the kiss, I mean
:))
it was amazing, hao :)
really?
you’re not just saying that cause you’re horny right?
no???
how can you even tell?
I can feel it in my hole
it pulsates when you’re horny
are you sure that’s not you being horny?
nah, you’d be able to tell if I was
I would?
how so?
trust me
you’d know :)
Hanbin thought about that for a while. Was it a joke of some sort? Or something like a trap?
About six days after their first date, Hanbin had decided that it was somehow a good idea to turn on Hao’s notifications for just about everything—his Twitter, his private Twitter, his Instagram, his Instagram dump, his YouTube, his TikTok, his TikTok dump, even his empty Facebook profile.
It all happened while they were on call and decided to give one another live reactions while stalking each other’s profiles.
Hao started yapping about how he thought Hanbin’s instagram profile was very much giving frat boy, then started tweeting on his private twitter account about how he could actually suck the life out of this guy—completely forgetting that he had just let Hanbin into his private account the day before.
Hanbin wasn’t any better either, maybe even a little worse. 10 seconds into scrolling through Hao’s TikTok dump and seeing his douyin tiktoks got him tweeting “hole. now.” on his public twitter account for everyone to see.
They both vowed not to stalk each other’s profiles anymore unless they needed something to jerk off to. Jokingly of course, but with these two every dirty joke was always more than half meant.
Having Hao’s notifications on meant that Hanbin was always the first to like every new tweet, every new TikTok, every new Instagram story, like it was a sickness. So when the little notification banner popped up right in front of his very eyes, it was almost instinctual to click on it without hesitation.
(shbshbshb) haonlyfanzz_ just shared a post.
Hanbin was familiar with Hao and his random instagram posts on his dump. Sometimes it would be random food or a silly picture that Ricky took. The point was, it wasn’t unusual for Hao to suddenly post on his dump account so randomly.
What was unusual was this particular post.
No carousel, no music, no clickbaity or silly captions. In fact the caption was as blunt as it could possibly get—well, for Hanbin at least.
It was something cryptic, something nobody else would get except for him.
It was Hao’s own way of letting him know that this was for him. Hao was for him.
Hanbin stared at that photo for a little longer than necessary. The grip he had on his phone was getting concerning, it was starting to look like that one chicken sandwich meme.
This was getting serious for him. This day, alone was already testing him and it was only getting worse and worse.
Haottest Twink Alive ™️💖
going to bed noww
gnight baby :) 🩷
come back here
that was for me, wasn’t it?
so what if it was?
did you like it? :)
you know, you really do joke about these kinds of things a lot
but I don’t think you understand just how much I actually want to see you bent over
Hanbin wasn’t having any of it anymore. He had never really played into Hao’s playful little jokes that seriously but this was starting to get to him. Since that pineapple incident, he had been on edge.
Things started to get worse after Hao kissed him for the first time that day. It doubled when Hao left him with a message that wouldn’t stop ringing in Hanbin’s ear.
He thought it would go away after he finally came in the shower or at least release some of the tension.
But now that damn picture.
There was only so much his dick could handle. But it’s not like he was complaining though. This was what he wanted, this was what he’s always wanted.
Someone who could match his energy, his humor, and most importantly, his insatiably high libido.
Hao really was a blessing to him from up above.
Haottest Twink Alive ™️💖
you know, you really do joke about these kinds of things a lot
but I don’t think you understand just how much I actually want to see you bent over
what…
you heard me
bin
ur not serious are you?
I am
would that be wrong?
well no but
you deepthroat a pineapple, suck my tongue, tell me to fuck your throat, and now you pull this stunt
do you really think that after all that, I wouldn’t think about pressing your head down on a pillow while I eat your hole out?
HANBIN
WHAT
you
why
HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS
doing what?
ARE YOU SEXTING ME RIGHT NOW?
WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED
WELL
I don’t actually know
it’s just that I’ve been making dirty jokes all this time and you’ve never once made a move that bluntly
I just kinda thought you weren’t the type
or that you didn’t how to do it-
what do you expect me to do after you post yourself in bed like that?
god I bet you’d look fucking hot all sweaty under the sheets
oh fuck
wait I don’t know how to sext
can I perhaps wikihow this first
hahahhaha ur cute baby
I wish I could see your face
I’d give anything to see what you look like all fucked out
you would?
psh you say all that but you barely even kissed me today
if you had asked to kiss me sooner you would’ve gotten exactly what you wanted
oh really now?
so if I ask you to take your clothes off the next time I see you, will I get exactly what I asked for?
fuck
maybe
and if I ask you to sit on my lap while I suck your neck?
hmm yeah
and lick your collarbones, leave marks all over them
and bite your pretty little nipples
fuck bin
pin your hips down, make you grind on it
move however the fuck you want to
hanbinnie
yea baby?
can you come over?
pleasee
ahaha
can’t handle it can’t you?
come on pleaseee
plsplsplspls
I’ll do what you asked me to
I’ll take all my clothes off for you, fuck clothes who needs them
hahahahshs cutie
I’ll let you suck on my neck, suck on my nipples
I’ll let you pin me down, eat me out, do whatever the fuck you want to do to me
oh baby ur adorable :)
biiiiiiinnnnnnnn
Thursday, baby I promise
just wait a little more, okay?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
that’s still like a whole day away :(
it’ll come by faster, I swear
:((
IS THIS REVENGE FOR THE PINEAPPLE THING
bcos if it is I can just give you a blowjob and fix everything :((((
hahahaha no, it’s not that
just be patient, okay?
what am I supposed to do now
IM HARD
SUNG HANBIN THIS IS YOUR FAULT
oh you are, are you?
poor baby
okay, fine I’ll give you a little something just to get you through the night
wut
r u gonna send dick pics
worse
What the hell could be worse than a dick pic? Hao thought about that for quite some time. Ass pic? No, it doesn't seem like something Hanbin would do, though Hao would still lick his screen nevertheless. A shirtless pic too? But how is that worse than a dick pic?
Then the notification came.
(haonlyfanzz_) hamtrashbin just shared a post.
Well.
Hanbin was right.
This was somehow infinitely worse.
He was fully clothed, arms out, tattoo out, but what genuinely made it worse was the way he spread his legs and made sure to show it.
It was a message, an invitation, a taste at exactly what Hao was about to get in just a day away.
Rest assured, that night, Hao slept on the floor yet again.
He told himself he'd stay right there and not move until he calmed himself down, otherwise he'd be grinding on his pillow all night long. He already bid Hanbin a bitter good night but he still couldn’t get his dick to calm down.
He waited and waited for a while more but that sense of clarity never came over him. Instead, he just fell asleep.
The next morning was dreadful, his body ached, his shoulders were killing him, but at least he wasn’t horny anymore. He tried his best to keep that up throughout the whole day.
Good morning message from Hanbin? Nope, no boner there.
Them talking about lunch? Hao painfully tried his best not to make a joke about his ass being Hanbin’s lunch, but still, no boner there.
Yapping about boring classes, Hanbin’s meetings with the dance troupe, Hao’s progress with writing the script, still no boner there.
He had officially made it through the day without getting himself horny. Three cheers for Hao.
He easily bid good night to Hanbin and slept soundly that night, a little proudly too. He was glad he didn’t let the anticipation get to him.
But then, a brief thought passed by him as he was about to fall asleep. He was about to see Hanbin tomorrow.
That was pretty much all it took for everything to crumble down and beat Hao’s ass down. His subconscious knew him too well, he was starting to wonder if his subconscious sort of hated him too.
That night, he went to sleep with a sound mind. Yet the next morning, he awoke in a cold sweat at the dream that had just infiltrated his entire system.
Calling that a sex dream was an understatement. It was the epitome of all of Hao’s dirty desires wrapped up into one long dream.
It started so peacefully too, so realistic, it was just like Hanbin as Hao knew him.
Then it began escalating with a single kiss. An innocent kiss, really. And before he knew it, he was on the bed, blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back as Hanbin fucked him from behind, licked his neck and ate out his ear, jerked him off with one hand, and played with his nipples all at once.
They did it over and over again too, as if Hao’s hole was actually capable of all that. It was by far the dirtiest dream he’s ever had in his life. Suddenly all that tension he worked so hard to ignore yesterday was all gone now as he stared at his leaking tip.
He took care of it, of course. But he couldn’t really look himself in the eye through the mirror anymore after.
The hours passed by so fast, before he knew it he was getting ready to see Hanbin again.
He doesn’t even know if he’s capable of looking Hanbin in the eye after that dream. But he couldn’t not show up, that might actually kill him.
He needed this. He really needed this. He couldn’t wait any longer now.
hanbin the letterboxd hottie 🩷
haohao
I finished up early, do you want me to pick u up?
no, it’s okay I’ll meet you outside your building
okay, same time right?
I’ll be there soon, wait for me a bit, okay?
oh you’re not heading there yet?
I’m gonna pick up some food for us first
you don’t need to, it’s fine
but I don’t really have any food in there
what if we get hungry?
we can just order in, come on pleaseeee
okay??
u alright, hao?
yes, yes, I’m fine just come home alreadyyy its getting cold here
the doorman isn’t letting me in :(
r u outside my building already?
maybe
how long have you been out there?
idk like 10 mins
20
fine 42 minutes
hahahah are you really that excited to see me?
OH JUST COME OVER HERE ALREADYYYY
okay, okay, I will!
I’ll make it quick, wait for me a bit more, alright?
okayy
see you :)) 🩷
Hao waited impatiently and lingered outside Hanbin’s building as he warmed himself up with his hands.
“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late.” Hanbin finally arrived, wearing yet another flannel and a tank top underneath. Hao was starting to adore his little brand. “You must be freezing, I’m sorry.” He placed an apologetic kiss on Hao’s cold hand.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind. We should probably go in already though.” Hanbin rested his hand on Hao’s lower back as they entered the building. He probably let out a little whimper, that’s how bad it was for him.
“So how was practice?” Hao attempted to keep his mind at bay.
“It was pretty much all the same, I had to take over to teach the choreo today, though. It was a bit tough but nothing I’m not already used to.”
Hanbin pressed the 4th floor button on the elevator as he proceeded to pretend to make calm conversation with Hao.
“Must be why you’re all covered in sweat.” Okay, this was entering dangerous territory now, back up, back up.
“I was hoping it wasn’t that bad.” Hanbin looked down at himself and shrugged. “You wouldn’t mind if I showered first before we start, right?”
Actually, Hao would mind, yes. He needs to ride that dick as soon as possible. But obviously, he still played nice.
“Sure, I wouldn’t mind.” He sighed and kept quiet for the rest of the elevator ride.
“That’s my place right over there.” Hanbin pointed at the unit with the bright red door mat at the front. “Sorry about the mess. I tried cleaning up a little bit but I got called in at the last minute to teach the choreo for the dance troupe. I did try, though.”
He opened the door to the unit that was, in fact, infinitely smaller than Hao’s unit but way more lived in. It was basically a wooden bedframe against the big window on the right that was covered in pillows and plushies but just about the thinnest blanket known to man, a study table at the right side of the bed, a single grey bean bag beside it, and a small fridge with a makeshift pantry next to the beanbag. To the left was a tiny private bathroom and a closet with a bunch of clothes scattered in between.
“This seems cozy.” Hao noticed that the only light in the room was a lamp on Hanbin’s desk.
“I told you it’d be small.” Hao walked over to the desk and scanned its little scattered trinkets. Hanbin’s laptop, a bunch of pokemon playing cards, a comb, a huge textbook flipped wide open, Hanbin’s spectacles and its case, and a bunch of heavily political novels stacked next to an empty coffee cup.
Remarkably though, the one spot on Hanbin’s desk that was actually clean and organized was a small bed with a toy hamster laying on it while tucked into a small blanket. “Ddungjjungham,” He patted the toy’s hand softly, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard lots about you.”
Hanbin smiled and watched Hao converse with the little hamster toy.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Hao hyung!” Hao made a little high pitched Alvin and the Chipmunks voice for the little toy. “I heard a lot about you and your cute little butt too!”
“My cute little butt? Who told you about that?”
“Hanbin Appa! He told me that he thinks you’re pretty and sweet and smart and the best part is that your butt is very very cute.” Hao faked a gasp.
“Is your appa into me or something, Ddungjjungham?”
“He is! He’s like really gay and stuff and he thinks he’s not that obvious about it but really he is and that level of delusion should be studied by his fellow psych majors actually.”
“Okay, I think that’s enough!” Hanbin started pulling him away from the toy now.
“Don’t let him silence you from the truth, Ddungjjungham!” Hao kept rambling on but then he seemed to notice how bare Hanbin’s walls were if not for the rows and rows of polaroids all over the wall where his beanbag was pressed up against. Some seemed to be old, some looked like they were taken just a few weeks ago. A string of yellow, glowing lanterns hung above them. “What’s all this?”
“Oh, well, it’s everything.” Hanbin said so casually. “It’s nearly everything that’s happened to me in 20 years. That picture at the top was my first time getting bathed when I was a baby.” He pointed at the very first and very faded polaroid at the topmost row.
“And that’s me in middle school, dance troupe and all that. That’s me in high school, Gyuvin and I met Matthew for the first time on the day that photo was taken. That’s me on the day I moved over here for college. And,” He pointed at the last photo on the very last row. “That’s me on our first date.”
It was a photo of Hanbin that he had taken of himself dressed in the flannel he wore on their first date but remarkably so, there was something different about it. He was showing off his cheek, with the faintest mark of Hao’s cherry chapstick.
“This is adorable.” Hao traced the photo endearingly with the warmest smile he could muster up.
“I take a picture every time I consider it a good day. My parents started doing it when I was a baby and I just continued the tradition. I hung up my favorite ones though, the more memorable days.”
So that was Hao to Hanbin, then. Hao was a memorable day for him. He didn’t really know how to explain it, but something about the knowledge of that made something in Hao’s stomach twist.
“So, I’m memorable for you?”
Hanbin pursed his lips shyly. “I guess so.”
“Huh.” Hao folded his arms and continued looking at the photographs on the walls, looking at each and every one carefully like he was watching Hanbin grow up, one frame after the other.
“What?”
“Is that your mom?” He pointed at a photo of Hanbin and his mom grinning from ear to ear while he held up a little fish on a hook.
“Yeah,” Hanbin smiled, recalling that day, “We went out to go fishing on my dad’s birthday.”
“You look just like your mom.” Hao found himself staring at the rest of the photos fondly. “And that’s your sister, I suppose?”
“Yup, I think I was around 6 or 7 in that.” He laughed a little and flicked his little face in the photo, cackling as he and his sister were drenched in lake water. “I tricked my sister to look at her reflection then I jumped in to splash her but she ended up doing the same.”
“Why am I not surprised to find out that’s the kind of brother you are?” Hanbin snickered.
“Make yourself comfortable, let me just shower real quick and when I get back you can ask me more about these photos.”
Hao sat down on the beanbag and nodded, “Okay, I’d like that.”
It was fascinating to say the least. Each photo had a different context, a different setting. One thing they all had in common though was that every person in the photos seemed to be people that Hanbin still kept in his life.
His mom, his sister, his dad, some of his dance troupe friends in middle school that Hanbin mentioned every now and then, some student council friends, and most commonly, Matthew and Gyuvin.
They were all people who were important in Hanbin’s life and people that Hanbin kept. It was clear that he was the kind of person who kept people like he did with these photos.
A subtle reminder that Hanbin was not somebody who was capable of treating people like disposables, sleeping with them casually and throwing them aside the second he’s done with them.
He kept people. He was a keeper.
This must’ve been the universe reminding him that whatever he was signing up for here was going to be far more serious than what he’s used to. The casual hookups, the 2 week long situationships of just sex after sex after sex.
If he continued what he was planning on doing here, he needed to remember what this meant to Hanbin. It meant that Hanbin was going to keep Hao.
Just like all these photos, just like all these people.
The thought scared Hao. He knew it shouldn’t have, but Hao knew himself well. He knew that keeping people and being kept was something he had little to no experience with. It was his pattern, as Ricky would put it.
And if he did this, if he let himself give in like this, that meant that he was trusting Hanbin not to be the one to leave him and betray him.
He had to think about this seriously for once. Was he really willing to trust Hanbin like that? To trust that Hanbin wasn’t going to do something stupid and shatter Hao’s heart?
That would mean Hanbin was bound to be a serious person in Hao’s life, someone that was just like the picture perfect leading man in all the romcoms Hao spent his teenage years manifesting and hoping so desperately for.
The longer he thought about it, the more he realized that Hanbin was in fact that person.
The type to hold doors open even for passerbys, the type to wait for the right moment to say or do something incredibly romantic, the type to take care of someone even at their most vulnerable.
“Hao,” Hanbin stepped out of his bathroom in a clean pair of sweatpants and a black tank top, interrupting Hao’s long thought process, “I’m gonna order in, what do you want for dinner?” He looked up and suddenly noticed the shift in Hao’s demeanor. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Bin, is this thing, you know, you and me,” He gestured at the two of them, “Is this moving too fast?”
“Too fast? Why would you think that?”
“Because well, it’s only been a little over four weeks since we first met. Don’t you think any of this is moving too fast? I mean, we’ve only ever seen each other in the cafe or around campus and all that stuff. Is this not at all moving too fast for you?”
“Of course not.” Hanbin walked towards him and sat down on the floor next to him, instinctively intertwining his fingers with Hao’s. “Is it too fast for you?”
“No, not at all.” Hao played with Hanbin’s fingers that rested on his knee. “In fact, I think this is the longest I’ve ever waited to kiss somebody. I guess I’m just a little scared is all.”
“Scared of what?”
“What if I’m doing this whole thing wrong? What if one of us messes up or both of us messes up? I mean, four weeks we’ve known each other but we’ve never even talked about your family before tonight. We’ve never even gone out somewhere other than the cafe or the campus grounds.”
Hao paused, “We don’t even know each other’s favorite colors. We’ve talked about sex and everything in between but we don’t even know that about each other. We don’t know each other’s favorite colors or where we were born or our first kisses or when we came out and how or what we were like in high school or our favorite songs, favorite books, favorite food, favorite drinks, favorite…I don’t know, porn genre?”
Hanbin burst out into fond little giggles.
“Don’t laugh, I’m being serious! All we’ve ever been is horny or awkward and then horny again and then awkward again, it’s like a weird cycle.”
“Okay, then.” Hanbin stroked his knee and nodded, “I hear you. I can see where you’re coming from. But I do want you to know that despite all of that, I am serious about this. I’ve always been serious about you, Hao.”
Hao knew that, it wasn’t hard to miss. But that wasn’t the issue, really. The issue was and always has been, is Hao capable of being on that same level of sincerity?
He was willing, that much he knew. But what if he messed up? What if he fucked this all up and ruined everything he was trying to do?
It was doubt, really. Doubt that he was the problem, the root of all of his relationship problems.
But like a wave of clarity, Hanbin’s voice shook him out of that trance.
“Blue.” He said suddenly, “My favorite color is blue. Light blue, dark blue, either, really. It’s because my mom used to always buy the same things for me and my sister, she always got purple—not pink, it had to be purple she was very particular about that—and mine was always blue.”
Hao was starting to realize what he was doing.
“I was born in Cheonan, lived there since childhood and moved to Seoul for college. My first kiss was in 9th grade with a guy named Minhyun. I came out to my parents when I was 14, I just kinda told them I don’t think I can ever be with a girl while we were on a road trip and they said that it was no big deal. I was in the student council for most of high school so high schooler Hanbin was mostly academics and stressing over the budget. My favorite song changes all the time but if we’re being honest it’s probably a keshi song and it’s probably ‘skeletons’. My favorite book is—” Hanbin was suddenly cut off by a pair of lips crashing into his softly. “What was that for?”
Hao’s fingers danced softly against Hanbin’s cheek, “You’re cute.” He pulled Hanbin in closer and wrapped his arms around him from behind, “I wanna hear more.” Hao rested his chin on Hanbin’s shoulder as he continued.
“Well, my favorite book is The Picture of Dorian Gray. My favorite food is tteokbokki but, if we’re being real honest here it’s somewhere between dakgalbi and beef bulgogi. My favorite drink is just an iced double shot latte. And my favorite porn genre is, I assume the same as yours, gay.”
Hao chuckled and started rubbing Hanbin’s neck and swaying them from side to side.
“And we can go out tomorrow.” He said softly, “You said we haven’t gone anywhere other than here, I can take you out tomorrow. I know a place that I think you’d like.”
“We don’t need to do all that, if it’s too much. I kinda just said that because it’s something I noticed.” Hao barely even realized he blurted that out amidst the mess.
“I want to take you out, though. If you’ll let me?” Hanbin looked at him over his shoulder.
“Okay then.” Hao continued nuzzling his neck and swaying them gently.
“Your turn. Tell me those things about you.”
“Hmm, sure, I guess,” He straightened his back and started thinking, “My favorite color is pink. No reason, I just kinda like it. I was born outside Fujian, just a small birthing place in Jiangxi but I’ve lived in Fujian for most of my childhood. My first kiss was with somebody in high school named Jun something, not my first boyfriend, or whatever though. I didn’t really need to come out, my parents always just kinda knew but they knew for sure when they caught me holding hands with my first boyfriend in Fujian. In high school…” Hao kinda trailed off.
“What? What’s up with high school?”
“Well, I moved to Seoul. Met Ricky, met Taerae. Then I started being a little…promiscuous? Just around the latter parts but I got into a lot of situationships, let’s just put it like that.”
Hanbin hummed, “Hot.” Hao slapped his shoulder playfully. “What? That was uncalled for.”
“Whatever dickhead.” Hanbin seemed happily satisfied with that. “As I was saying. We’re at my favorite book now right? Or song? I don’t remember but either way my favorite book is probably Pride and Prejudice and favorite song is…well, I don’t think I’ve ever told you this but it’s the title of the film I’m writing and it’s from another movie called,” He faced Hanbin and looked at him straight in the eye, “About Time.”
“It’s How Long Will I Love You. The original one, the one from The Waterboys.”
“You never told me you liked that movie. You knew it was on my Top 4 though, right?” Hao nodded.
“I do. I thought giving you any credit for putting that movie on your Top 4 would blow up your ego and I couldn’t let that happen after The Book of Life.” Hanbin started laughing once again, “And before you tell me to let that go, I hope you know that Love, Rosie is actually worse—and no,” He held up a finger over Hanbin’s lips, “I will not be accepting justifications.”
“Fine.” Hanbin held his hands up in surrender. “But you’ll hear about it one day.”
Hao rolled his eyes playfully, “Sure. Anyway, my favorite drink is just soju and maybe peach makgeolli. I like my liquor a little sweet. My favorite food and my favorite porn genre are the same.”
Hanbin frowned at that before he realized it. “You’re talking about dick aren’t you?”
“No, baby.” Hao cupped his cheek and pulled him in, “I’m talking about you.”
Hanbin burst out in giggles as their soft little kisses multiplied by the minute.
“You seem to really like kissing me, don’t you?” Hao nodded at that. Like was an understatement to what he actually felt like whenever his lips came into contact with Hanbin’s.
Anybody who’s ever kissed Hanbin knew that but it was thrilling to Hao, really. It was something he could barely contain. Even when his mind was occupied with something else, being in the same vicinity as Hanbin made his thoughts run wild with the possibility of their lips meeting.
It never even left his mind that whole evening, even as they continued chatting, even as they ate the chicken they had delivered, kissing Hanbin was never not on his mind.
Eventually, after a long and unserious argument about The Book of Life, Hanbin had somehow convinced him to watch it with him on Hanbin’s small laptop screen.
Hao was very bitter about it but he couldn’t say no to the promise of kisses—plus, he may have been bribed with popsicles.
They had a nice little setup after dinner, Hanbin had propped up his laptop on his desk while they comfortably sat on Hanbin’s bed with Hanbin’s arm wrapped around him.
“I don’t understand this.” Hao pulled the now popsicle-less stick out from between his teeth. “All of this just because of a bet between two stupid deities?”
“Hey, that’s LaMuerte and Xibalba to you.” Hanbin took the popsicle stick from him and chucked it into the bin next to his bed.
“Rude. I wasn’t done with that.”
“There’s no trace of the popsicle left. How are you not done with that?” Hao scrunched his nose.
“I don’t know, I like putting things in my mouth.” Hanbin seethed through his teeth.
“Oral fixation. You’d be an accurate case to study when it comes to proving if the Freudian Theory of Psychosexual Development is accurate or not. And maybe how it manifests into your art.” Hao blinked at all that mumbo jumbo, he kinda liked it though.
“Oh, I love it when you speak nerd to me.” Hao pressed a chaste kiss on Hanbin’s cheek as his index and middle fingers started walking up and down Hanbin’s chest.
The more he inhaled Hanbin’s natural scent, the more Hao felt so desperately needy. That dream from this morning flashed in his head once again, reminding him of what he came here for in the first place.
A few more minutes of the movie had passed by and yet Hao’s hand was still lingering around Hanbin’s chest, his head resting on his shoulder with his lips so dangerously close to Hanbin’s neck too.
Hanbin glanced down at him, he probably thought Hanbin had no idea what he was doing.
“Hanbinnie,” Hao whispered in a voice that Hanbin knew all too well to be far too dangerous. “Do you remember what you promised me last Tuesday?”
“I do. But we’re watching a movie, baby.” Hao pouted. He wasn’t gonna let that happen, under no circumstances was he ever gonna let that happen.
“Screw the movie.” He pulled away from Hanbin’s arm and swiftly moved his legs to straddle Hanbin. He did it so smoothly too, as if their legs weren’t just intertwined moments ago. “I’m more entertaining than that.”
Hao’s knees rested comfortably against the mattress, his ass found its most comfortable seat on Hanbin’s lap too.
“Come on, you promised.” He let his hands run all across Hanbin’s chest, feeling the stutter in his breath every time Hao shifted his weight on his lap.
“Hao.” Hanbin groaned, closing his eyes and gathering all his strength to calmly and carefully place his hands on Hao’s hips. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“You promised me kisses. I’m just collecting your dues.” He leaned forward, lips hovering right over Hanbin’s, “Pay up, loser.”
Hao crashed his lips down against Hanbin’s, moving softly, gently, carefully. He was saving up energy, he had planned this well, after all. He wasn’t planning on deepening the kiss that soon but it seemed like Hanbin definitely was.
Before he knew it, he had moved right up to Hanbin’s top lip, waiting for the right moment to sneak his tongue in and make his move.
“Fuck.” Hanbin pulled away the second he felt Hao’s tongue brush past his lips.
“Why’d you stop?” Hao pouted even more.
“Let me think about this for a second.” Hao found that odd. What was there to even think about? Hot guy on his lap, begging for kisses, how could he not take that offer? “Okay.” Hanbin looked back at him.
“You want kisses? Fine, I’ll give you kisses. But there’s something I need to ask you first.”
“What is it?”
“Are you okay with under the shirt stuff and perhaps some neck stuff?” Hao tried not to let it show, really. It was like this guy could read Hao’s mind and had somehow found the tape of his most recent sex dream. Not that Hao was complaining. By all means, he was very welcome to do anything he wanted to do with Hao. “You can tell me not to leave a mark if you want, I can try my best.”
“No, it’s alright. I’m okay with all of that, I don’t mind the marks at all. Is that all you have to ask me?” Hao started leaning in again, trying his best not to just pounce at him already. Once Hanbin gave him an affirming hum, Hao wasted no time to find his way back to Hanbin’s lips.
The movie in the background was starting to fade the longer Hao’s tongue played with Hanbin’s. Flicking it around, teasing the tip, oh it drove Hanbin insane.
By the time Hao had once again sucked Hanbin’s tongue, he was starting to feel a little something pressing up against his ass. Hanbin was starting to get hard, as if it wasn’t obvious by his breathy little whimpers every time Hao’s tongue moved around his mouth.
His hands were starting to linger too, they started at the hem of Hao’s shirt and almost as quickly, they began traveling at his waistband. Hanbin’s fingers dipped into his waistband carefully and watched Hao shiver at the garter hitting against his skin.
Soon, Hanbin’s lips found their way to Hao’s neck. That was where the real challenge began.
Hao, notoriously known for being loud and expressive in these situations, no longer had a pair of lips to muffle out his needy whines. And the lips on his neck weren’t doing him a favor either.
Hanbin’s tongue swirled around the bare skin of Hao’s neck, earning the sweetest whimper from Hao’s lips.
“Keep it down or I’ll stop.” Hao pressed his lips together and shook his head. No, no, he couldn’t afford that.
He couldn’t bear to have Hanbin stop right now, not when it feels oh so fucking blissful to have him suck and bite his neck like that. His hands knew what they were doing too, apparently.
From Hao’s waistband up to his back, those fingers left him shivering and pressing his ass harder against Hanbin’s crotch every time.
Only when they started hovering to the front that Hao actually started to let out long, deep moans. Hanbin’s fingers that Hao had always admired were now threatening him, brushing against his stomach and moving up and down Hao’s ribs.
Then, it happened. Hanbin’s hands firmly gripped Hao’s ribs and left his thumbs out to hover over his sensitive nipples.
They only hovered though, they didn’t move, not even a little bit.
Only when Hanbin’s lips would suck on a spot on his neck that made him twitch did his thumbs come into contact with Hao’s nipples.
The very first sensation made him moan out and gasp for air desperately.
“Can’t keep it down, baby?”
Hao shook his head, “No, no, I can be quiet. Please don’t stop.” He pleaded so desperately, he didn’t even notice he was rutting up against Hanbin’s hard on, “Please, baby, please. Please don’t stop.”
Hanbin let out another groan, making him squeeze Hao’s ribs slightly until his thumbs flicked over his nipples once again. Hao shut his eyes and rested his head on Hanbin’s shoulder as the sensation grew and grew.
The feeling of Hanbin’s rough fingers flicking, pulling, rubbing, circling around his nipples drove him insane. It was nearly impossible to not make a sound.
“You’re doing well, baby. Do you think it’s time to take things up a notch?”
Hao pulled his head away from Hanbin’s shoulder, “What do you mean?”
He didn’t expect what happened there next, but somehow, Hao found himself laying down on Hanbin’s bed with Hanbin right there between his legs.
“Hanbinnie, what are you doing?” Hanbin lowered himself to press a soft trail of kisses from Hao’s ear to his jaw and down to his neck.
“You’ll see.” His fingers started hiking up Hao’s shirt higher and higher, exposing his stomach more and more, “Tell me if it’s too much or you want me to stop, okay?”
“Okay.” Hao said hesitantly. He was honestly too hazy to predict what Hanbin was going to do next but it finally started clicking when his lips moved to trail kisses up from Hao’s waistband to his stomach.
“Our rule still applies,” He said right before his head started dipping into Hao’s shirt, “Stay quiet and I’ll give you what you want, okay?”
His head disappeared into Hao’s shirt. He inhaled as much as he could, he loved that scent so much. It was Hao at his purest, Hao’s own scent. Something only Hao had and nobody else could replicate.
Hanbin was glad Hao couldn’t see his face or tell that he was smiling so contently right there as he continued to trail kisses up and down Hao’s sternum. The more frequent the kisses got, so did the appearance of Hanbin’s tongue.
With his left hand, he let his cold skin warm up Hao’s chest, leaving him to shiver at the contact. His long, delicate fingers once again started brushing up against Hao’s nipple. Hao seemed to really like that, he wasn’t exactly silent anymore but he seemed content and relaxed, letting out the softest sighs every now and then.
It only started to escalate when Hanbin’s hot, wet tongue finally came into contact with his left nipple.
A long, uninterrupted moan came out from the man under him. He didn’t even try keeping that one in.
The next long lick of Hanbin’s tongue sent him shaking, twitching in Hanbin’s touch. The other hand working his other nipple seemed to start putting him on edge too.
But the second Hanbin began to speed up from long and slow licks to fast flicks of his tongue against the bud, Hao was practically in pieces. His hands gripped the sheets, his head was thrown back on Hanbin’s pillow. Oh he was gone.
It almost seemed impossible for him to be more gone after that. Hanbin proved that wrong once again the moment that he started sucking on his nipple.
Hao had never felt this much bliss from just his nipples alone. He needed more, more, more, from the sheets, his hands traveled up to grip Hanbin’s neck.
“More, keep going. More.” He breathed out in a deep, needy voice and continued his endless string of stifled moans.
Hanbin found it adorable, really. Besides, Hanbin would never admit it but he was fully incapable of denying Hao of what he wanted anyway. Hao could ask anything he could ever want and Hanbin would give him just that.
After one last, long lick, Hanbin moved to drag his tongue against the other nipple. Hao couldn’t stop whimpering, even more so when Hanbin began to nibble a little. That seemed to make Hao move his hips up into the air, the poor guy must’ve been leaking like crazy.
When Hanbin finally sped up and started getting more and more aggressive, Hao had wrapped his legs around Hanbin. He was almost about to come untouched, it was incredible.
Apparently Hanbin really liked what he was doing to him too, every stifled whimper and moan made him impossibly harder. Somehow Hanbin was into that.
A few more minutes and a fuck ton of hickeys all over Hao’s chest and stomach later, and Hao was gripping for his dear life onto Hanbin’s shoulders.
“Bin, I’m close, I’m so close.” Hanbin finally pulled away and lifted his head up from Hao’s shirt.
“You are?” Hao only nodded once and pulled Hanbin in for a long kiss to muffle the most erotic, porn star level, moan that Hanbin had ever heard right as Hao came undone in his sweatpants.
“Fuck.” Hao panted and looked down at his now ruined pair of pants. “I really liked these sweatpants.”
Hanbin looked at him with an amused look on his face, not really in shock or anything but something new entirely.
“You just came untouched?” Hanbin tried to put it together in his head like it was an algebra question.
“I’m so sorry to ask this but,” Hao looked so disappointed in himself, perhaps a little embarrassed too, “Can I borrow a pair of pants or something?”
He purposely avoided Hanbin’s gaze.
“Oh my god, I can’t. This is too embarrassing.” He crashed against Hanbin’s pillow once again, about to scream into the thing apparently when Hanbin’s hands found its way to intertwine against Hao’s.
“Don’t be embarrassed.” Hanbin placed a soft kiss on the back of Hao’s hand. “That was hot.”
“I messed up my best pair of sweatpants, is that still hot?”
Hanbin chuckled and pulled his hands to make him sit up. “Everything you do is hot.” He started fixing Hao’s messy hair and pulled down Hao’s shirt to smooth out the creases, “You don’t need to be embarrassed about anything with me because no matter what happens, you’ll always be the same Hao to me. Hot and silly and absolutely stunning.”
Hao grabbed onto Hanbin’s wrist that still fixed up his hair, “What did I do for you to like me that much?” His sparkly little eyes looked up at Hanbin with so much sincerity.
“Simple.” Hanbin playfully brushed a finger past Hao’s lips, “You understand me.”
~~
“Are you sure this is okay with you?” Hao stared at Hanbin’s basketball shorts that definitely didn’t match the rest of his clothes but he’d honestly give anything just to change out of his stained sweatpants.
“It’s fine, Hao. Are you okay with it? I’m telling you, I can just lend you some underwear. I really won’t mind.” Hanbin leaned against the wall next to the half-closed bathroom door where Hao changed.
“No, it’s alright. I’ve done this before, it’s not that uncomfortable.”
Hanbin somehow perked up. Maybe it was just a little pervy of him to find that kind of hot. “You’ve gone commando before? That’s kinda hot, I’m not gonna lie.”
He kind of expected Hao to bring up some snarky comment or counter him with one of Hao’s usual dirty jokes, but instead he was silent.
Hao finally walked out of the bathroom door in his crumpled up t-shirt and Hanbin’s red basketball shorts but his face was nothing like the Hao that Hanbin recognized at all. He looked somewhat shy or on the brink of tears, he looked vulnerable is what it was.
“Hao? Is everything okay?” He sat down on the edge of his bed and took Hao’s hands, guiding him towards the bed too.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” His voice was odd too, it was timid yet somewhat irritated.
“I can clearly tell you’re not though. What’s wrong baby? Hanbin pulled him closer and patted his lap invitingly.
Hao looked down at his lap and was clearly hesitating but then his eyes met Hanbin’s. In that brief moment, they shared a look of sincerity, a subtle way of saying ‘it’s okay’ without actually saying it. “It’s nothing, really. It’s silly.”
He gave in and sat on Hanbin’s lap anyway, his arms comfortably falling around Hanbin’s neck.
“Tell me about it. I’ll listen.” Hanbin said seriously, there really was no sign of underlying messages anywhere there.
“Well,” Hao groaned, there was no point in hiding it anyway. “I guess I’m just a little embarrassed.”
“About what?” Hanbin’s hands had landed comfortably on Hao’s soft pale knees.
“I’ve never really done that before.”
Hanbin frowned. “You’ve never had an orgasm before? How is that even possible?”
“What? No, not an orgasm. It’s that thing. You know what I mean.” Hanbin actually did not know what he meant. It took him about 30 more seconds and Hao gesturing at his pants to get Hanbin to finally realize things.
“Oh!” Hanbin finally came to his senses. “You’ve never came untouched before?”
Hao shook his head shyly. “I’ve done a lot of things before but definitely not what we just did back there.”
“I see,” Hanbin’s hand on Hao’s knee started caressing his bare skin. “Do you regret it then? Or is it not something you enjoyed?”
“No, I did! I enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong. That was fucking amazing.”
“But?” Hao hated that Hanbin knew him well enough now to know what comes after that sentence.
“But I’m embarrassed for you to have to see me like that.” He hated that he couldn’t resist him either. “And I know that you already told me not to but I just can’t shake off the feeling.”
“Okay,” Hanbin put on his professional voice, the same voice Hao liked to imagine he used in the practice room when he was practicing with the dance troupe, “I hear you. Why don’t we do this instead,”
He tapped Hao’s knee to grab his attention, “I’ll tell you something embarrassing about me to get your mind off of that.”
“Are you just gonna explain to me why ‘Love, Rosie’ is a good movie? Or are you gonna tell me why The Book of Life is on your top 4?” Hao’s little snarky gayccent started coming back. It seemed like he was starting to feel a little better at least.
“No, unfortunately, it’s not about movies this time so you can’t make fun of me for it. In fact, you have to promise me that you won’t make fun of me for this.”
“Can’t promise anything for sure but you do have my interest,” Hao started perking up a little, “Mostly because I think you’re sexy so I’ll listen to anything you say.”
Hanbin chuckled and pulled him closer on his lap, “Okay, so, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it to you but,” Hao anticipated the next words to fall out of his mouth eagerly.
Whatever was about to come out from between those lips now could only be one of the most common things Hao’s heard in relationships.
“I’m actually straight.”
“I’m getting married.”
“I’m already married.”
Or Ricky’s personal favorite line from one of Hao’s exes, “I have a foot fetish.”
He probably thought this was either gonna be something about Hanbin’s past or his preferences like a really hot but strange kink or a really really morally horrible thing.
Hanbin didn’t really seem like the Dexter type. He probably wasn’t gonna tell Hao that he’s a serial killer right? Because that would be so unfortunate and yet so annoyingly on brand for Hao and his notorious dating history.
Thankfully, it was none of those scary or daunting things. In fact, the words that came out of his lips had to be one of the most underwhelming things Hao’s ever heard in his history of terrible relationships.
“Hao, I’m a virgin.”
Hanbin tensed up under him, like it took him so much strength to muster up the courage to say that. Hao appreciated it really, it was sweet that Hanbin wanted to willingly admit that just to make him feel better.
But honestly, and Hao kind of hated himself for this, he kind of already heavily speculated that.
“Hao?” He pouted slightly, “Why are you not saying anything? I thought you’d at least start teasing me or something.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just didn’t really know how to react, I guess?” Hao lifted up his shoulders awkwardly, “Thank you for telling me?” He said hesitantly.
“What? That’s it? Are you not shocked or anything?” Hanbin was getting more and more adorably pouty. “I thought you’d at least be a little surprised.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I am! I am, really, I swear.” He chuckled fondly and played with Hanbin’s pouty bottom lip, “Listen, I just thought that what you were gonna say was way worse! Like I thought you were gonna tell me that you have two penises or that you accidentally killed a guy that ended up actually being alive but you were afraid of him reporting you so you just tried to kill him again and buried him somewhere without knowing he’s still alive so you just kinda buried someone alive.”
“That’s oddly specific and I can’t believe you would’ve expected me to say that I’m a murderer. I also still don’t believe that you are surprised to hear that I’m a virgin.”
“Well,” Hao gave him an awkward seethe, “I kind of knew. Or I suspected it at least.”
“What? Why would you even suspect that from me?”
“Well, it did take you like three-ish weeks to kiss me for the first time. And also, you shivered at nearly every move I made on you on our first date so I figured you just had to be one.”
Hanbin was in shock. “You knew since our first date?!”
“Well, I didn’t know anything at all! It was more of a speculation, like a headcanon.” He started rubbing Hanbin’s blushing neck more and more in an attempt to calm him down, “I’m sorry, baby. Did you want me to think you were experienced?”
“Sort of.” Hanbin sighed and defeatedly leaned against Hao’s chest, “I just kind of didn’t want you to think I can’t keep up with you, is all. Because I know you’re experienced and all that based on the things you’ve told me about your exes and stuff. I just didn’t want you to think any less of me because I’m a little less experienced.”
Pause. A little less experienced? Not inexperienced. A little. Less. Experienced. Emphasis on the experienced part.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“I’m sorry, a little less?”
“Yeah, like, you know. Like the other stuff I’ve had some experience in but like the actual act of penetration is something I’ve never really done before.”
Oh so that’s what he meant by virgin. Hao was definitely intrigued now. No longer did the lingering embarrassment get to him, now he had to lock in. He had to know just what things Hanbin was experienced in.
“So then, what kind of stuff have you actually done before?”
“Oh,” Hanbin cleared his throat awkwardly, “You know just like the usual stuff.”
Hao pressed down on him firmly, “Like what? Tell me.” He cradled Hanbin’s neck to look up at him, to stare at him straight in the eye as he said it. “Tell me all about it, Hanbinnie.”
“Okay, well we’re being transparent here so I’ll give in. I’ve done handjobs before, gotten a couple here and there too. Same thing with blowjobs. I’ve done fingering before.” Hao let out a satisfied sound, as if he’d just heard exactly what he wanted to hear. “I’ve been fingered as well, I’m not really a big fan of receiving that kind of stuff but I did give it a try.”
“Baby,” Hao stroked his neck and smiled at Hanbin sweetly, enough to cover up his intentions anyway,
“Have you ever eaten someone out?”
Hanbin stared into his eyes and tried to pick out every little thing about him until he figured out what Hao’s intention really was.
“So what if I have?” His hand resting on Hao’s knee began to hike itself up higher and higher, pushing past the hem of his basketball shorts. “What’s it to you?”
Hao threw his head back and held back a needy whimper. Oh the thought of Hanbin’s hands touching his bare thighs, knowing that past that thin fabric was nothing but Hao’s bareness. He was starting to feel that familiar feeling between his legs again.
“Oh, right.” Hanbin stopped right before the tip of his index finger almost grazed the side of Hao’s dick. “You’ve got nothing under these.” He pulled his hand away and watched Hao sigh at the sudden emptiness against his skin.
“You’re so unfair.” Hao whined, “Why did you have to stop?”
“We can’t afford to get you horny again.”
Hao scoffed at that. “What do you mean? I’m always horny. That’s like where 90% of my personality comes from.”
“You just came no less than 20 minutes ago, no matter how long your refractory period is, you still need to rest at least a little while longer.”
“I don’t need to if you’re just gonna eat me out. I’ll be fine, I swear. Come on, please?” He gave Hanbin an over exaggerated pout, his signature puppy pout.
“Nope, your body is still recovering. I’m not letting you. Sorry.” Hao sulked, his pouty little lips falling lower and lower. “Come on, why don’t we just do something else instead to get your mind off of it.”
“Like what?” Hanbin looked around his room until it fell to the little blue speaker on his desk. “We can listen to music if you want?”
“You think listening to music’s gonna get my mind off of the possibility of your tongue in my hole?” Hao folded his arms and dropped himself to Hanbin’s bed, finally leaving his lap in defeat.
“Probably not, but it might.” Hanbin switched on the little button on his speaker that instantly connected to his phone. “Studies do say that listening to certain music can help improve your hormonal balance. Calm music, apparently can trigger the release of more oxytocin which can help you regulate—“
“Ah, stop, stop, stop.” Hao sat up on Hanbin’s bed and held up a finger. “If you keep talking about nerd stuff I’m gonna get a hard on again.”
“Okay, okay, fine.” He sat next to Hao on the bed and leaned lower on his elbows, “Come here and help me pick a song instead then.” He patted the spot next to him which Hao eagerly took, of course. Who the hell could say no to cuddles with Sung Hanbin?
“I don’t really know a lot about music though, except for using it in scores.” Hao scrolled through Hanbin’s Spotify as he made himself comfortable between Hanbin’s arms, “What about your favorite song? The one you said earlier.”
“Oh, sure, why not.” Hanbin took back his phone and scrolled through a playlist that he tried his best to keep away from Hao’s eyeline.
Well, too damn late.
“Oxytocin Inducers, in parentheses, jerk off music.” Hao read aloud and tutted, “You tell me off for being horny but you’re the one with the sex playlist.”
“It’s not a sex playlist, it’s just—jerk off music.” Hao snickered and wrapped his arms around Hanbin’s waist, positioning his head just under Hanbin’s chin and just right where his neck was easily accessible.
“Yeah right.”
Hanbin’s hands subtly found their way back down to Hao’s thighs that wrapped themselves around his hips. He was full on koala hugged by a man that was taller than him and he didn’t even mind, it was perfect to him, in fact.
Everything that Hao was to him, was absolutely perfect.
It was all he could think about as Skeletons began to play in the background.
“Is this it?”
Hanbin hummed. “Yeah, it’s actually really interesting. The whole idea of the song, the lyrics, the melody, it’s all constructed in such a way that insinuates that it’s clear the person is sick of himself and the situation he put himself in but somehow he’s still willing to reveal it all to somebody, even if it might let him down.”
“Huh, it’s interesting. I never would’ve gotten that.” Hao started to move his hand up to Hanbin’s arm, slowly caressing the curve of his bicep. “You know, I always thought that I was the only one over analyzing stuff between you and me. I’ve gotten used to doing just that with movies that I forgot your whole major is about overanalyzing shit.”
“I guess you’re kind of right. I mean I have gotten used to overanalyzing the music I listen to every time the dance troupe needs a new choreography. In my own way, dancing is kind of like my movies.”
“Must be why we get along so well. We’re kind of the same person but different. You have your songs to dance to and I have my movies to make. It’s our thing.” Hanbin found himself smiling at that, it was their thing.
It made him happy to think that they had a thing. Something only the two of them could never really fully understand about one another but something that only the two of them could fully sympathize with.
“This still is kind of goon music though, I wish I could say something else but this really is the kind of music you would goon to. But why am I even surprised? It’s literally on a sex playlist.”
“It’s not a sex playlist! The title was a joke.” He tried to save face but Hao knew him better than that.
“You can keep telling yourself that but I can prove you wrong just as easily.”
“Oh yeah?” Hanbin pulled back just to look him in the eye, “How so?”
“Like this.” Hao leaned forward to once again press his soft, plump lips against Hanbin’s as the chorus rolled around one for the first time.
Hao should’ve gotten some sort of award for that, the way he synced his lips with every beat of the song like it was his own dance. It drove Hanbin crazy just how easily dizzy and drunk he could fall into for Hao and his liquor laced lips.
As the beats started to slow down, Hanbin expected him to start pulling away too but he wouldn’t let him.
Not when his lips were getting such a treatment. The last few guitar riffs of the song rang but Hanbin only deepened the kiss between them, completely ignoring the fact that the next song had started playing at this point.
Hao furrowed his eyebrows, unable to ignore the song. He was about to pull away but Hanbin just wouldn’t let him, hand immediately tightening on Hao’s thigh the second Hao’s lips nearly parted from his.
“Bin?” Hao mumbled, lips still touching with the man in front of him. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t stop.” He pressed his lips back against Hao’s, instantly finding his bottom lip and slipping in his tongue. The sensation sent the most feral vibrations all throughout Hao’s body.
This wasn’t gonna be enough, he needed more. Impossibly more and more of Hanbin in his mouth.
The more the song played into the chorus, the tighter Hanbin’s grip was on Hao’s thigh. That had to be the thing that weakened Hao the most.
He wasn’t even sure if Hanbin was doing it on purpose or not. Slipping his hand underneath the fabric and hiking it up higher and higher, stroking Hao’s milky white thighs and gently cupping the underside of it as if anticipating the curve of his ass nearing slowly and slowly.
Hao was starting to mumble out hazy, needy, slurred sounds from Hanbin’s lips.
Hao gripped Hanbin’s shoulders tightly to ground himself. He needed more, Hanbin needed to give him more. He was about to pull away and ask Hanbin to just take it right there, squeeze his bare ass through those shorts, and milk it until he comes all over again.
But it was only then that Hao began to register something. Hanbin’s hungry lips, his breathing, his traveling hands. He was frustrated and completely untouched.
Hao got to have his blissful release, though it was fully unintentional, but Hanbin never got his. There must’ve been so much tension in his body, Hao felt bad for him.
Kind of. Well, he did, yes. But it was also clouded by the fact that he just felt Hanbin’s hard on rub against his knee and now he just needed that bad.
He was gonna wait a few more minutes and grind up against him a little more but the feeling of Hanbin against his thigh was starting to make him twitch. He was starting to wonder if Hanbin was doing it on purpose, rubbing himself on Hao’s thigh to make him wonder what that dick would really feel like.
Long and thick was Hao’s best guess but he needed to know for sure just how big he was dealing with here. Would he be girthier than longer? Or longer than girthier? He wanted to let his thoughts run wild a little longer but he couldn’t really get himself to think properly, not when Hanbin’s hand was inches away from squeezing his ass, not when his dick was right there hard and ready and waiting for him.
The song was finally reaching its end as Hao pulled away and left a string of spit right between them. It dangled on Hao’s lower lip and made him look so fucked out and needy, oh Hanbin needed more and more alright.
“Baby, I wasn’t done.” Hanbin whined, leaning in once again to meet Hao’s lips but Hao wouldn’t let him.
“Bin,” He said softly, hand coming up to caress his cheek, “You’re really frustrated aren’t you?” His fingers moved down to bounce on Hanbin’s lips, the sensitive feeling made him melt into Hao’s touch with a sigh.
“Poor baby.” Hao stroked his cheek and tutted, “You know, I can fix that for you.” He whispered in Hanbin’s ear, sticking out his tongue just a little bit as he started nibbling on it.
“Oh yeah?” Hao’s hand started to move down to Hanbin’s hip, threatening to dip down lower and lower. “Fuck.” He looked down at Hao’s hand, oh he was getting somehow impossibly harder. “What are you gonna do?”
“Whatever you want me to do, however you want me.” Hanbin looked into his eyes and recalled the whisper in his ear on the night that they parted. The whisper that stayed with him throughout the whole night, the day after, and that same morning too.
He almost let out a moan at the mere thought of it but he couldn’t show it yet, not yet. But his eyes nearly did it for him already.
The way his eyes instantly fell to Hao’s pretty little lips, he let his thumb graze his wet, plump bottom lip. He watched it bounce and started wondering just how good his mouth could actually treat him.
The image of the pineapple incident repeated in his head once again and that seemed to do it.
“On your knees.” That was all it took for Hao to spring up to his feet and get on the damn ground. He was ready for this. Born ready, actually.
Some people might even say it was his life’s purpose to suck the life out of Hanbin’s dick. Some people being Hao, himself of course.
Hanbin found it endearing how fast he got off from the bed and down to the ground. Hao was probably looking forward to all of this way more than Hanbin was, he found that cute.
“A couple of ground rules before we start.” Hanbin slowly sat up and planted his feet to the ground, spreading his legs wide and caging Hao between them. “Firstly, I’m not letting you come again tonight.”
“It’s fine, I don’t care. I just want you, please.” He let his hands fall to Hanbin’s knees in front of him, “Please let me have it already, please.”
“I’m not done talking, baby.” He stroked Hao’s cheek gently, “My second rule is simple,” He pulled his hand away from Hao’s cheek and started lifting up his tank top until his whole upper body was bare.
Hao’s nails were starting to dig into Hanbin’s knees. Oh he was starting to get ready, real ready. He knew Hanbin got really hot easily, he knew whatever his mouth was about to do to him would probably cover him in more sweat than any marathon ever could.
Oh the thought of sweat glistening down on Hanbin’s neck to his tattoo and down to his bare chest. Hao didn’t know how many more #needthat’s he had left in him. “You give me two taps on my knee if it’s getting too much for you, okay?”
He nodded enthusiastically, god he just really wanted to get this done already. He needed that dick in his mouth so damn bad, he was practically drooling already.
“And lastly, just to make things a little more fun,” Hanbin reached out for his phone and showed Hao the queue on his Spotify. “You get three songs. You start when the first song starts and you stop when the last one stops. Got that?”
Fuck, this was gonna be hard.
Three songs, about 2 minutes each. Approximately 7-8 minutes of dick in his mouth.
Was that even possible?
According to google, blowjobs typically last 10-30 minutes, depending on the individual. This was stock knowledge for Hao, of course. During his first blowjob, he was too nervous about being unable to pry himself off of a dick so he did a bunch of research on blowjobs and such.
He managed to do so in the same amount of time as whatever those results mentioned, so he deemed that google search accurate.
But 7-8 minutes was a stretch. It was surely possible though.
Studies did say that 5-7 minutes was the approximate time that it would take for a typical male of Hanbin’s age to go from arousal to orgasm and eventually ejaculation. But it would take great skill to get him to orgasm just from his mouth alone.
Hao did the calculations in his head, all those years in Kumon were finally starting to come in handy. If he put in twice the effort, less foreplay, and twice more tongue than he usually did then he might just be able to pull this off in approximately 6 minutes and about 18 to 20 seconds.
That left him a minute or two to spare, just enough to lap him up and clean up his dick like a cat.
It was time to get down to business. His mission was locked in now.
“Can I have one condition?” Hanbin nodded at him, “Can I tell you when to start the song?”
He wasted no more time and immediately pulled off Hanbin’s sweatpants the second he was given permission to. He tugged them right down until they pooled at his ankles and boy was he glad he took his time with this one.
It had been months since Hao had last seen another man’s dick in his face like that, it’s been months since he’s sat down to admire one too. And all those long and lonely months were probably worth it.
Those months were spent preparing Hao for this entire experience of the touch of Sung Hanbin.
They were spent preparing him for just about the best goddamn dick he’s ever had in his whole entire life. The perfect length to reach all the good places, the perfect girth to fill up every hollow and empty space in him, and lastly—Hao’s most ridiculous dick criteria that earned him a mocking laugh from Ricky and an unsurprised shrug from Taerae—the perfect color.
As a film major, Hao had a trained eye for aesthetics and most especially colors. He never thought his knowledge of color theory could ever come in handy with his sexcapades but here he was now, staring at a dick sculpted by the gods (or by Hao in his past life, considering how perfectly it could fit inside him) and seeing the perfect blend of light, shadow, contrast and the exact well matched skin colors all come together in the form of this man’s penis.
Hao’s hand hovered over the screen of Hanbin’s phone, getting ready to finally press play.
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, let the blowjob of the century begin.
Song # 1: Say by keshi
The song started out with a funky beat as Hao’s hands made their way around him.
Hanbin groaned at the sudden contact, his breath began to falter just as quickly as Hao’s hands began moving. He really did waste no time. No teasing, no foreplay, no sexy little games.
Hao’s thumb swiped over his tip and made Hanbin shiver. He smeared the pre-cum all across the tip and started nearing his lips to the head. He went lower and lower, trailing kisses down one side of his shaft and teasing the skin with his fingers on the other side.
It was clear that Hao was trying to get him as hard as humanly possible so he got things done efficiently, given the challenge. But with the way Hao looked him in the eye the whole time, never breaking contact, that had to be the goddamn hottest thing he’s ever seen.
Hao’s hot breath around his sensitive tip was starting to get to him. The sensation alone sent more and more blood rushing right where he needed it to be.
Almost there, almost at the right amount of hardness Hao needed him to be. Not quite there yet, though, he needed something else entirely. He needed something more to send him off the edge and get him right where he wanted him.
So Hao did just the thing that he knew would send Hanbin in a frenzy, he pressed the tip against his lips, not in a kiss or in a way to invite him in but in just the right way for Hanbin to watch his tip bounce on Hao’s lower lip.
And there it was. Rock-fucking-hard.
Hao looked so pleased with himself, Hanbin wanted to fuck that look out of him so bad.
Now satisfied with how erect Hanbin was, Hao moved on to the next step of his devious plan and started to let his spit glaze down on the head.
The sight of Hao’s lips dripping with drool while still maintaining eye contact made Hanbin grip onto the sheets behind him. That view was his and his alone, a pleasure that only Hanbin could have at that exact moment and he loved it oh so much.
Finally done with coating his shaft with as much spit as possible, Hao began to finally fulfill the desires that had been lingering within him as his mouth greeted the dick he had been dreaming of for weeks.
Hanbin let out the hottest fucking moan in existence, that sound could’ve transcended every note and phonetic in the world. Who could blame him really?
The Hottest Twink Alive™ had taken the head and moved his hands up and down the shaft in just the right tempo to get Hanbin’s mouth to part and let out all the right sounds Hao wanted to hear.
He sucked on the tip the same way he sucked on that popsicle Hanbin had given him before all of this. The pressure alone made Hanbin clutch onto his shoulder and buck his hips for more.
The song was starting to reach past its midpoint, Hao was almost fully ready to start moving up and down but he waited.
He sucked on the tip and swirled his tongue around it, lapping up every little bit of Hanbin and his sweet pre-cum. He moved his hands up and down the shaft and let his drool trail down and make it easier to move in the right tempo with just the right pressure.
The song was finally nearing its end and Hanbin had never been so fucked out. He almost thought he was probably gonna lose it before the first song finished just from how much Hao was making him dizzy already but things were apparently just about to get infinitely worse.
Song # 2: Westside by keshi
After the brief silence between the end of the first song and the start of the next, Hao had decided to take things to the next level.
Slowly, and tightly, Hao lowered himself and narrowed his mouth. The feeling of Hao’s hot, wet, tight mouth moving up and down Hanbin’s length made him twitch and shudder. His hand on Hao’s shoulder clutched him tighter, he needed more of this, all of this.
Hao was starting to feel bottomed out. This was one of the best feelings in the whole entire world to him. On his knees with a big dick fitting tightly in his mouth. It was just pure bliss and it was clear in his eyes that things were starting to escalate for him.
He didn’t even try covering it up anymore, he just went down lower and lower and angled himself to let the head rub against the roof of his mouth while his tongue flicked the underside of the shaft.
“Fuck.” Hanbin threw his head back and let out another deep moan that just made Hao feel even hotter than before. He looked up at Hanbin’s silhouette like this with his one hand behind him, propping him up, one hand on Hao’s shoulder, all Hao could see was his broad shoulders and the shiny bead of sweat trickling down from his long graceful neck to the careful outline of his tattoo.
The more Hao sucked in his cheeks so very slowly, the more Hanbin made such pleasant sounds that made Hao tighten his mouth around him even more.
“Go faster, baby, please.” Hanbin’s hand traveled up to the side of Hao’s neck as he pleaded. He just needed more of this, more of Hao, more of the hot feeling of his tongue moving around him like crazy.
“Baby, please, faster. Come on, don’t make me beg.” He whimpered but Hao only continued his slow and teasing pace.
“Hao,” Hanbin moaned out so desperately like his name was a curse word or something heavy in his tongue. “Fuck, let me hit it. Please, I know you want it too.” He looked at Hao straight in his hazy bottomed out eyes.
Fuck it. Hao finally gave in and took him in whole until his length hit the back of his throat.
“Fuck yeah.” Hanbin clutched the back of his neck and smiled at the bliss. Oh the sight of his shaft completely gone in Hao’s mouth made him drool, the feeling of his tip repeatedly brushing against his throat made him weak too. “Hao, please. Faster please, baby.”
Hao hummed in response, the vibration made Hanbin’s breath falter. Oh he liked that, he really liked that. It gave Hao an idea, he hadn’t really planned on doing that but it seemed to make all the pretty little sounds come out of Hanbin’s mouth.
He figured it was probably time to give Hanbin just what he wanted anyway.
So once again, Hao let out a shivering moan as he started bobbing his head up and down, sucking in his cheeks tighter and tighter as his lips reached the midpoint of Hanbin’s shaft where he would once again moan.
It was the vibrations that he knew sent Hanbin in a frenzy, made him twitch, made him moan louder. And the feeling of just that as he started quickening his pace was starting to make Hanbin’s breath go faster.
He kept that speed up for another 30 seconds or so as Hanbin’s breathing accelerated even more.
The beat of the approaching chorus started to play once again and Hao knew that it was finally time to bring out the big guns.
As the chorus rolled around, Hao lifted himself from the length more and more until his lips nearly slipped from the tip.
“Hao?” Hanbin looked down at him, “What are you doing?” Hao’s hand reached up to his neck, cradling it down and making sure Hanbin would keep his eyes on him.
Their eyes remained locked on one another’s as Hao started to lower himself down on him again, slowly this time and when he reached the midpoint, he took it all the way back to the back of his throat.
He moved at a faster pace this time, sucking in the shaft and bobbing his head just enough for Hanbin’s head to keep hitting the back of his throat over and over again. This was it, the speed that Hanbin wanted, Hao could tell it in his eyes that never broke contact with him.
Eventually, he started moving faster and faster until things were starting to feel sloppier, Hanbin’s hand had found its way to his hair as the pace and the pressure of it all made Hanbin’s deep moans come out more frequently.
“Oh god, that’s it.” He moaned out and guided Hao’s head further up and down again and again until even Hao was starting to feel fucked out.
Hanbin fucking loved that though, Hao’s hazy bedroom eyes staring right into him while he fucked his mouth.
More, more, and more. Faster and faster, Hao took it in his mouth like he couldn’t get enough, like he needed to fit more of it all inside. Hao knew he was probably starting to be sloppy with it but that was just the best part, he wanted Hanbin to see him like this. Sloppy, messy, covered in sweat, spit, and Hanbin’s pre-cum. Husband material, he thought.
The song was reaching the end of the second verse, Hao only had about three more minutes left on the clock and by now, Hanbin was nearly there.
He just had to keep up this pace for a little longer and he knew how to instantly push Hanbin off the edge and get him right where he needed him.
So he kept going, bobbing his head more and more as Hanbin rolled his head back and started bucking his hips and gripping Hao’s hair. Hao thought that was hot as fuck, the way Hanbin looked him in the eye with every thrust of his hips too.
He was playing with Hao at this point, he knew he could get Hao hard from just a stare and a subtle little smirk on his hot sweaty face. As if he wasn’t already using Hao’s mouth as the World’s Best Fucktoy™ .
“Keep going, baby.” He pushed Hao’s head down further, keeping his eyes straight onto him. “You’re doing so good.” Hao hated that it was working on him too. “Your mouth feels so good.” Hanbin continued the pace of his hips and started grinding into Hao’s mouth harder. “Bet your ass feels just as good, yeah? Just as tight, just as hot.”
Hao furrowed his eyebrows at him and watched as Hanbin’s foot came into contact with Hao’s half mast.
Inevitably, Hao let out a needy whimper, just the right vibration Hanbin needed to finally reach that edge. “I bet you’d let me come inside you too.” Hao kept his pace up with his mouth and didn’t even realize he was grinding up against Hanbin’s foot already.
Hao moved faster and faster up and down his shaft, it was his own way of giving him a confirmation, telling him that’s exactly what he would do. “You would, wouldn’t you?” Hanbin groaned at the pace, he was trying so hard not to let it all fall apart right then and there. “I guess that means you’d let me come inside your mouth too.”
World stop.
Sung Hanbin, psychology major, had just played his sexy little mind games in the middle of having the World’s Best Fucktoy™ around him. Hao had never been more turned on.
He moaned at exactly that, hummed and let his tongue do its magic too. It was happening in just a few minutes now.
Finally, at long last, the second song came to an end.
Song # 3: skeletons by keshi
The slow beginning of the song heavily contradicted just how fast and deep Hao was going. He was ready to have the next generation of Hanbin’s clan right down his throat, he was more than ready, in fact.
At some point, they just couldn’t keep up with their little eye fucking game anymore. Hanbin couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, he had gotten far too busy grinding into his mouth and moaning like there was no tomorrow. Hao had somehow busied himself with making sure Hanbin would release everything soon and he meant everything.
He needed his mouth stuffed and filled to the brim with Hanbin’s load. Hell, he earned it. Getting all of this done in a matter of 7 minutes called for some sort of reward.
Hanbin was close now and Hao had slowed down but somehow it made Hanbin twitch even more. He was drenched in sweat, his lip was probably bruised from how hard he bit into it to suppress some of his more rather pornographic moans.
Hao’s been with a couple of men before but truly none of them ever made such symphonic moans. Honestly if his moans were an album, it would definitely go double platinum, no doubt.
It didn’t take much longer for Hanbin to start gripping Hao’s hair even tighter along with a string of hums and curses strewn along. He was starting to twitch in Hao’s mouth.
Oh this was it, the moment of a lifetime. Just as the song’s chorus was starting to play too.
“I’m close.” Hanbin grumbled, he looked like a goddamn mess. Hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, chest and stomach dripping with as much sweat as humanly possible, lips all wet and red from all the moaning, what a sight to behold. “Is this really okay?”
He stroked Hao’s cheek gently. Of course Sung Hanbin would still ask that even seconds away from releasing his load.
Only Sung Hanbin would do that. Only Hao’s Hanbin.
He loved it. He was never gonna admit it. But he loved that side of Hanbin. The sweet side, the caring side, the side that everybody else mocked him for.
Hao loved it so much. Suddenly, the question that he had stuffed down in his chest hours ago resurfaced. The one that pounded in his chest as he stared at all the photos on Hanbin’s wall.
Was he really willing to let Hanbin keep him?
The more he thought about it now, the more the answer seemed clearer to him.
The thought of letting anybody keep him scared the hell out of Hao, but the thought of letting anybody else keep Hanbin scared him even more.
He wanted to keep him. He wanted Hanbin all to himself. That much he knew.
After a reaffirming nod, Hanbin finally let himself go and fell apart right there. He watched Hao swallow everything whole and made sure to clean up the dripping parts from Hanbin’s length with his tongue too.
Hanbin couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he watched Hao eagerly clean him up.
“What?” Hao’s usual low voice grew raspier from all the action. “What’s that look for?” He said as he wiped away the rest of the mess around his lips.
“You’re so pretty, baby.” Hanbin pulled him up from the floor as Hao laid down next to him on the bed, using Hanbin’s arm as a pillow.
“You’re ridiculous.” Hao scoffed, “You just came in my mouth. You literally just made me swallow your load and now you’re over here telling me I’m pretty?”
Hanbin chuckled fondly, taking Hao’s hand in his and intertwining their fingers together. “Because you are.” He stared at their interlocked fingers with a twinkle in his eye. “You’re the prettiest thing to ever walk this earth.”
“You can get so cheesy sometimes, I swear to god.” Hao rested their intertwined fingers on Hanbin’s bare chest. “No wonder you liked such cheesy movies. Seriously, ‘The Book of Life’ was tolerable—it was fun to make fun of you for it, but it was tolerable—but ‘Love, Rosie’? Really, Bin?”
He burst out in silly little giggles as Hao leaned his head closer to Hanbin’s chest.
“Hao,” He looked down at the man on his chest, “Do you believe in soulmates?”
Hao looked up at him with a sincere look in his eyes, no more trace of his mischievous, snarky, witty little jokes anywhere. Only the truth.
“I don’t.” Hao smiled at him and raised their hands together to place a kiss on top of Hanbin’s hand. “But I think some people are made for each other. And when they find each other, it’s like they perfectly fit right into each other’s bumps and ridges. They’re almost like two exact copies of one another except in an odd shape that’ll only fit with another shape that’s almost exactly the same. Like lego pieces. I think some people are lucky enough to find each other like that.”
Hanbin rubbed the back of Hao’s hand, “I think we could be some people.”
“We are, Sung Hanbin.” Hao watched his fingers dance between the crevices of Hanbin’s hand. “We’re lego pieces.”
Act VI: Your Name Written In White Ink
It took about two more weeks of constantly seeing each other nearly every single day after that night for Hao to realize something profound.
His script was nearly completely done.
He only seemed to realize it after opening the outline of the movie on his google doc and seeing that only a few more scenes were left to be written. He wouldn’t have even noticed it if Hanbin hadn’t pointed it out while sucking on Hao’s neck in an attempt to distract him from his work.
It kind of worked because not even 10 minutes later, he was already dry humping Hanbin’s thigh. But that’s besides the point.
It had only been a little over a month since Hao started writing this film, a little over a month since Hao met Sung Hanbin and had his world flipped upside down.
This was important to him. This film, this career, this lifestyle was important to him. And finishing the script for this film meant something entirely different to Hao than he seemed to realize.
For Hao, logic is just as important as the empirical data. And he was too knee deep into this whole Hanbin thing to even see the empirical data, the underlying reason why he was finally nearing the end of writing this film.
As usual though, the only people who did see it were his friends.
Ricky was the first to notice a big shift in Hao’s demeanor. The Hanbin effect on him was just different now compared to what Ricky and Taerae witnessed for the first few weeks of them getting to know one another.
For one thing, Ricky noticed the constant post-sex glow on Hao’s face. Though of course, he knew all about Hao and Hanbin’s sexual boundaries and how far they’ve gotten and all that.
There was something different about it now though, instead of Hazy Horny Hao with the post-sex glow, it was a different Hao. It was busy Hao, inspired Hao, happy Hao.
Taerae started noticing something about it too and it was the fact that Hao had been significantly less active on letterboxd—well, at least the reviews part. A phenomenon that seemed so strange to everyone who knew Hao well enough, really.
When Taerae asked about it, Hao said he didn’t seem to notice it either. But Taerae knew, Ricky knew.
Letterboxd was Hao’s loneliness diary, where he logged every bit of his misery in life and in love and made it about the movies he watched. It’s what gave him such a big following on the app, after all.
But looking at his most recent activity, his last review was from 2 months ago. A review on some silly film about a dead guy getting married to a cop or something that Ricky picked out. Other than that, his most recently logged films all had a similar theme.
It was all romcoms.
A horrible influence of Sung Hanbin, a raging hopeless romantic.
All of this combined along with the nearly finished script meant something and it meant something big.
The dreaded Hole Cycle was beginning to come to an end. The patterns were changing, the bad habits were left behind, and most remarkably, Hao was staying.
Whether he did it on purpose or not was beyond them, but Hao knew he was staying. He just didn’t seem to know why. At least not for the time being.
But everything started to change on the night that Hanbin deemed would be the last night he would help out Hao with his writing. He said the script was finally wrapping up and that Hao had incorporated everything Hanbin taught him well, so it was about time for them to celebrate at least.
Hanbin told him to dress up nice and dress warmly and he would take him out to this nice authentic noodle place that Hanbin “came across” the other day. It wasn’t a lie though, he did technically come across it but only after begging Ricky to recommend him good food spots that he thinks Hao would like.
He made the night all fancy and dressed up too. He put on a casual plain top and a pair of dress slacks, and accessorized it the best he could. He even bothered to rent a car for the night just so he could pick up Hao and take him there comfortably.
Hao found that cute, Hanbin even opened the car door for him and waited until Hao was fully buckled in before walking back to take the driver’s seat. That was kind of a micro turn-on for Hao. Anytime Hanbin did anything remotely gentlemanly, it did send a mini boner down his way.
“Hi.” Hao mumbled softly, almost shyly while Hanbin buckled in. Something was endearing about the way he said it, like it was somewhat of a question.
“Hi, baby.” Hanbin placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Do you like the car? I rented it out until tomorrow so we can go anywhere you like after dinner. It’s nice isn’t it?”
Hao only nodded and looked around the interior of the vehicle, seemingly avoiding looking at Hanbin in the eye.
“Hao? Are you okay?”
“Yes,” He glanced at him briefly, though still not looking him in the eye. “Why would you ask that?”
“You’re not making eye contact.” Hao sighed, his shoulders dropping in defeat.
“I’m sorry, I’m a little nervous.” He felt stupid for saying it out loud but he did though.
“Nervous? What for?”
“Well, this all feels so formal!” He gestured at Hanbin and the car and at himself all dressed up. “I don’t know, I’m not used to us being so formal like this.”
“That’s because you’re used to cheap cafes and making out sloppily in dorm rooms.”
“Exactly, that’s like my brand.” Hanbin chuckled endearingly, that had to be cute. “I don’t really do formal dinner dates and stuff like this often. I mean, I like it but there’s just so much pressure and everything. I guess I just need to loosen up a little bit, I’m not used to these sorts of things.”
Hanbin’s hand found its way to his knee. The rightful place for his hand to be actually, it practically has his name written on it at this point. With an endearing smile, he leaned over the gear and kissed Hao’s lips soothingly.
“Does that help loosen things up for you?” His cheeky little grin was so annoyingly hot.
“I don’t know, I can’t tell. Maybe we should try it again for good measure.” Hao grabbed him by the cheeks and gave him one big kiss that caught him off guard.
“Well,” Hanbin traced his bottom lip smugly, “Looks like it definitely worked.”
“I think it’ll work better if we just kinda,” Hao drawled out, “You know.” He gestured at his building’s front door. “Just a quick one.”
“Are you seriously asking me for a quickie before we go out for dinner?”
“Would you prefer I ask you for one during dinner?” Hao guided Hanbin’s hand on his knee to hike up higher and higher on his thigh. “Come on, you wanna help me loosen up, right?”
Hanbin pulled his hand away and placed it firmly on the steering wheel. “I’ll think about it.”
“What’s there to think about? You have a very generous offer from the world’s hottest twink or whatever it is you keep calling me. Do you really want to let that go to waste?”
“I’m not putting it to waste, I’m just giving you a counter offer.”
“Fine, what is it?” Ah, yes. A vulnerable moment for Hottest Twink Alive™, Zhang Hao. Usually his response to things like that would be some snarky and witty comment about such and such but instead he gave in.
It is rare to catch him off guard in such a state, he was usually very quick on his toes, he caught on to things very fast. But throughout the weeks he’s spent with Hanbin, he has developed something he never really thought he would ever let himself do with romantic partners.
He trusted Hanbin.
And because he did, he knew Hanbin was genuine with whatever he would be saying. Even now, as he waited for Hanbin’s response.
“I could take you back upstairs right now and get you to come in 5 minutes or I could take you home after dinner and eat your hole out for dessert.”
Fireworks started going off in Hao’s brain and maybe just a little bit in his pants.
“What do you think, baby? Still want that quickie?” Hao had never shook his head so fast and so much before. “Good.”
“You mean it though, right? You promise?” He stared at Hanbin all wide-eyed and desperate for a big fat YES.
“You know I’m a man of my words.” That was true. Hao learned that the hard way after teasing the hell out of Hanbin during a particularly intense game of scrabble where Hanbin decided that if Hao were to move the board one more time, he wouldn’t let him have his release at all that night.
That was a long night of hickeys and begging. But nevertheless, he learned that Hanbin truly was a man of his word. He would never joke about something he would never do, that’s another thing Hao seemed to really like about him.
15 minutes and an intense car ride later and Hao found himself in a familiar yet somewhat strange street. Like he had been here before but not really. Maybe it had been during a drunken night out or maybe he had just passed by it a few times, either way it seemed like something he’d seen before.
“Where are we?” Hao looked around as he stepped out of the car door that Hanbin had so kindly opened for him.
“Well, I asked Ricky the other day if there were any places around here that he thinks you’d like and I wanted to suggest this one place in Incheon Chinatown for some authentic noodle soup but apparently you don’t really like the food there so I scratched that off and found the next best thing.”
Hao paused for a second. “I never told you I like noodle soup.”
“You didn’t need to, it was all you raved about in your reviews of In The Mood For Love where you used #neednoods about 14 times in a single review.” Hao giggled, he had completely forgotten about those reviews that he must’ve written while tipsy and heartbroken.
“Anyway, I found this place through Ricky. He said you’ve been meaning to visit this area because you saw someone on Tiktok rave about the food around here.” Hao’s eyes lit up. Now it was finally ringing a bell, this was that one noodle place that he begged Ricky and Taerae to go with him to on his birthday later that year.
The place was a shabby old one floor unit hidden in the depths of a narrow alleyway down a small street that was like a mini Chinatown, with the convenience stores and the little bodega stores that sold a range of things from teas to old paintings and furniture. The restaurant looked like it had once been a part of a bigger row of food joints that had since been destroyed or renovated, which meant it must’ve been at least a few decades old.
Hanbin parked the car a block away so they had to walk all the way from there down to the alleyway in the cold night’s breeze. As usual, Hao instantly felt chilly not even a minute into their walk and as usual, Hanbin was indifferent to it. Hanbin had gotten used to that. He knew Hao would start shivering at the slightest bit of cold air but he knew Hao would never bring a jacket to save his life.
So despite not having the need for such, Hanbin had subconsciously made it a habit to always keep a jacket with him though he never wore it anyway. He still covered it in his perfume though, mostly because he knew Hao liked it but also because he would never admit that he liked the idea of Hao smelling like him.
When they finally reached the restaurant’s garage door entrance, Hao was already comfortably wrapped up in Hanbin’s old faded leather coat. The restaurant was nearly empty when they walked in, it seemed like not a soul had been in there for a few hours now.
The place was decorated just like the photos on Tiktok, it looked impressively like all the settings of the Hong Kong movies Hao loved watching when he was sad. The lighting seemed darker though, not in a bad way, more like in a cozy way. There was a jukebox in the corner, the walls were all red too laced with intricate patterns with all sorts of paintings hung on them, lanterns hung low over the lonely tables with ceramic tea cups and the booths flushed against the walls but the most lighting in that place was apparently the green and red neon sign by the cashier with the name of the restaurant written in Chinese characters.
Though what Hao seemed to be the most excited for was this one particular booth in the corner with what appeared to be one of those old timey telephones on both sides of the booth.
“No way.” Hao ran to the booth with the biggest grin on his face. “Is this real?” He pointed at the phone.
“I think so.” Hanbin looked over his shoulder and gestured at the waitress as he took a seat on the bench opposite Hao.
“Welcome to Chow’s. Here are the menus, let us know when you’re ready to order.” The sleepy pixie haired waitress handed them two flimsy, nearly faded laminated menus in all Chinese characters.
“Oh wow.” Hanbin blinked at the menu, only understanding the photos with the Korean characters on the bottom as a description.
“I can order for us.” Hao gave him a comforting half smile.
“What a gentleman.” Hanbin set down his menu and pulled out his wallet from his pocket, “Order as much as you want. Get whatever you think I’ll like too. Don’t worry about the bill.”
“Okay.” He returned his attention to the menu in a desperate search for some Kung Pao Chicken for Hanbin because he knew Hanbin would love that.
Hanbin liked that about them. He liked how Hao always let Hanbin spoil him and only draws the line when he knows it’s too much for one person to take all to himself. And Hao liked how Hanbin always let him pick things that he thought Hanbin would like.
They looked out for each other in that way, their own subtle ways.
A few minutes later, Hao gestured at the waitress and gave her their full order in his mother tongue which Hanbin only now realized was something he was hearing for the first time.
His voice was different when he spoke in Chinese, Hanbin noted. It wasn’t that much deeper or higher than the voice Hanbin was used to hearing, instead it was somewhat poutier. The best way Hanbin could describe it was a deep voice similar to Hao’s usual complaining voice but it was still somehow sweet and sharp.
Which Hanbin learned was the best way to describe Hao in every situation.
When the waitress left and took the menus, Hao noticed Hanbin smiling to himself as he played with the ceramic tea cups in front of him.
“What’s that smile for?” Hao took the cup from him and began pouring the complimentary tea that the waitress left for them.
“I’ve never heard you speak in Chinese before.” Hanbin took the freshly poured tea and traced his finger around the cup’s opening. “It’s kinda hot.”
Hao scoffed at that, he refused to believe it. “Clearly, you’ve never heard me argue with Ricky before. You’d never think it’s sexy again after you hear me call him a raging bitch who should eat cow shit. Endearingly, of course.”
“You keep forgetting, I think you’re sexy all the time.”
“That’s only because you’ve seen me naked in every possible way there is.” Hao countered, though he still held back a big blushing smile. He eventually gave in though, how could he not bring himself to smile after the way Hanbin took his hand and brought it up to his lips.
“Well, yes. But you know I find your brain sexy too.”
He said as he traced shapes on the back of Hao’s hand. “It’s not easy to move to a new country, learn a new language at only 14, and land a full ride scholarship to a big international university.”
“Okay, I can’t argue with you there.” Hao shrugged cockily and sipped on his own cup of tea. “You’re pretty cool too though.”
Hanbin knew he was about to pull something out of his ass but he played along with it anyway. “Oh yeah? How so?”
“Well, you were smart enough to ask Ricky for help with picking a date spot. I mean this is mega cool.” He touched the telephone next to him. “I’ve always wanted to use one of these. It always seemed so romantic with the way Takeshi held onto these.”
“Oh yeah?” Hanbin reached for the telephone on his side of the booth and held it up to his ear. “Hello? Mr. Zhang Hao?”
“What are you doing?” Hanbin refused to answer him and instead nodded over at the phone next to Hao.
Giving in, he rolled his eyes and picked up the phone next to him. “Speaking.”
He grinned from ear to ear at that. “Hi baby, it’s me.”
“Sorry, do I know you?”
Hanbin crossed his arms and gave him a piercing look. “You don’t know who I am? Why? Are there other people who call you baby?”
“Maybe.”
Hanbin slammed the phone back down and watched Hao burst out in cruel laughter. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I know it’s you baby.”
He picked the phone back up, “How can you tell which one I am if you have many people calling you that?”
“I know you well, Sung Hanbin.” Hao leaned against the table and clutched the phone in his right ear, something that did not go unnoticed in Hanbin’s eyes. “I can pick you from a crowd just from your breathing alone.”
“I see.” He observed the way Hao held the phone in his ear, twirling the cord in his free hand and tapping his finger against the dialer but still, his hand remained on his left ear.
“What? You’re staring right through me. Is there something behind me?” He glanced at the red wall behind him.
“No, no, sorry. It’s your hand I was looking at.”
Hao held up his left hand curiously.
“No, not that. Your right hand. You picked up the phone with your left ear. You crossed brain hemispheres.” Hao watched him ramble on endearingly, “Usually people tend to pick up the phone with their left ear, but you moved to the right. The right hemisphere is usually focused on main tasks carried out by the dominant hand.”
“Point being?”
“The right hemisphere is well versed in emotional responses. Which meant that you did that because whoever you’re speaking to has a great emotional significance to you, great enough for them to be considered a main task for you.”
He lowered the phone and stared at Hanbin straight in the eye. “So what if you are? What if you do mean that much to me? When will you let me do something about it?”
His voice was suddenly so serious, it was laced with something fearful, like he was scared of admitting it. Hanbin sort of picked up on it quickly, it’s been something that lingered between them for the past couple of days.
In the middle of makeout sessions, when Hao would give him a pleading look. In the middle of giving him head when Hao would start whimpering and nearly crying with that same desperate look in his eye as if he was still untouched.
Even in things like these, through late night walks or study sessions or in the middle of meals together. Hao had this look in his eye that begged for more than what they had now.
It begged for something more than flirtatious touches and overly horny makeout sessions. It begged for something genuine, something closer. It begged for the real deal.
And Hanbin knew he didn’t just mean it physically but emotionally too. Hao seemed to want it now more than ever before but something in him was holding him back.
Hanbin knew exactly what to say to that though and he wanted to say it, he really did. But he just couldn’t find the right timing to do so.
Even now, just as his lips parted, the sudden aroma of their freshly made food seemed to distract them.
What greeted them later was something Hanbin probably should’ve asked about beforehand. In retrospect, Hanbin probably should’ve discussed it with him at least once before ordering.
Two big bowls of noodles was probably all Hanbin expected. But what was on their table effectively proved his ass wrong.
Two big bowls of noodles, yes. With about 6 more bowls of side dishes. Hao had ordered vegetables, special cuts, pork, chicken, a single big bowl of some absolutely enticing soup, and two pineapple juices for each of them.
After a very reassuring mention of everything being within Hanbin’s budget, Hao had started feeding Hanbin some of the cuts and even the chicken he specifically ordered for him.
“Goddamn.” Hanbin just had a foodgasm. The chicken, with the steamed vegetables, with the broth of the chicken noodles in front of him. This was some unmatched level of heaven.
“Glad you seem to like it.” Hao placed another big chunk of chicken on Hanbin’s bowl. “The noodles are immaculate. I’ve had all sorts of noodles from all different places before but this is just on another level. It’s the closest to the kind of noodles I imagine Mrs. Chang from In The Mood For Love would be obsessed with.” He slurped up a big bunch of hot steamy noodles and huffed out a big sigh of satisfaction.
“Again with that movie. You know you’ve never actually told me what you like so much about that movie. I mean you put it on your Top 4, there must be a reason.”
Hao gave it some thought between slurps. “Well, if we’re being honest, it really didn’t strike me at first. When I first watched it, all I could think about was why the whole thing felt so eerie and suffocating. Like it was more of a suspense story than a romance tragedy.”
“I can get that. What made you change your mind though?”
“The song. Yumeji’s Theme, the one that played over and over again throughout the movie. It made me curious as to why the director made that decision to have the same song repeat over and over again like that. So I watched it again to count how many times the song played but instead I realized how consistent and most importantly how intentional everything is, the framing of the shots and the colors had to be the most obvious. And then,”
He paused and let the chopsticks rest on his lower lip, “Then I cried. I realized that the reason why it felt so eerily framed in contrast with such vibrant colors was because of how much they felt for one another. They had so much emotion, so much loneliness and love, and yet so much guilt and fear that’s holding them back.”
“That made you cry?” Hanbin cooed at him mockingly, though it was his own subtle way of telling him it was cute too.
“Of course it did. Imagine how much love somebody could have for you and yet you’re actively doing so much just to avoid it out of fear and in the end you’re lonely all over again.” Hao met his eyes for a brief second and awkwardly darted them away as soon as he could. “That’s real yearning. It’s a real thing to be that scared of it. Not the touches or the kisses or anything of the sort, that fear—that’s real yearning.”
Hanbin knew that. He understood it well and he never seemed to understand just how that movie plays into that concept before but now that Hao had put it in that way, he couldn’t help but agree. And he couldn’t help but notice that Hao did too.
“Anyway, realizing that’s how intentional everything was when it came to Wong Kar Wai movies changed everything for me. It completely changed what visual storytelling is in the way that I show it. Since then, I’ve studied more and more of his films and I feel like it made me into a way better filmmaker now.”
“That’s inspiring.” Hanbin picked at the chicken on the corner of his bowl. “I guess I can kind of relate. Sometimes art takes a minute or two to warm up to you.”
“Do you feel that way about dancing too?”
Hanbin tilted his head for a bit, “Not really. It’s not as intense for me as film is for you, if that's what you’re asking. But it still means a lot to me. It’s one of the only places where I can feel myself let go a little bit, you know?”
“So it’s more of a healing thing for you than a passion?” Hanbin nodded. “I see. When did you start dancing then?”
“I think I’ve always been dancing, I can’t imagine my life without it. I’ve been dancing since I was a kid—in the living room with my sister, at a talent show in school, and in presentations for school events. It’s always been a part of my life.”
“Have you ever wanted more of it though? To have it be more than just a hobby?”
“Maybe once in high school. Then I realized I just wanted something a bit more different.” Hanbin stretched out his hand to wipe a stray piece of vegetable stuck on Hao’s lower lip which left his eyes wandering for a second longer than it should’ve.
“And that would be?” His gaze on Hao’s lip moved slowly up to his wide and eager eyes.
“A life, a good one, a simple one. With a husband I can come home to every day in a house that we both worked hard for and a dog or two that’s probably named after a snack or a silly character’s name.” The way he said it left so much room for more to be said yet it couldn’t be any more clear with the way his eyes dug right into Hao’s.
He was waiting for Hao to catch on. In fact he needed him to. He didn’t exactly know what he was expecting him to say but he knew Hao well enough now to know that he would get it, he might actually be the only person in the world who could get everything Hanbin wanted to say before he even said it.
And he did get it.
“I love dogs.”
He would always get it.
“I have two dogs back at home in Fujian. I wish I had taken more photos with them the last time I visited.”
“You visited recently?” Hao hummed and tried to recall just how long ago it was.
“A few months ago. I went during winter break to spend the holidays with my family. That’s actually where I started writing my script.”
That’s right, the script. They had made a deal when they first started going out that neither of them were going to read what each other had finished in order to not jinx anything. It’s been difficult for Hanbin in particular when helping Hao with the story because he could only ever teach him how to develop the characters and which actions would be justifiable to be made by them.
After weeks of developing those characters with him, he just couldn’t help but be curious as to what the story really is about.
“I know we made a promise to each other not to read each other’s works when they’re done but can you at least tell me what this film is about? All I’ve ever heard about it from you has gotten me confused but so intrigued. Are all of your films like this?”
“No.” He scoffed, “This is my first time making such a complicated film, it’s sort of a fantasy situation which is what makes it so confusing. But anyway, I guess I could tell you the synopsis of it.”
Hanbin readied himself for what was to come, he didn’t know what to expect but from the looks of it, he knew it was gonna be good.
“Basically it’s about the main character, Jian, who sort of bumps into this guy, Haneul, everyday in class. All their interactions are only ever polite stares or bows and such. But one day, during a particularly crowded day, their shoulders touch for the very first time and they get transported into some place identical to the big hallways and teaching halls they’re all too familiar with. They realize that they’ve gone back in time in the exact same place but it’s a completely different decade. Eventually, they find clues, like modern day clues that they piece together and they solve this mystery together about this doomed romance between two men with the same names as them. Every time they solve a piece of the mystery, they slowly regain memories from their past lives as those two men, then they get transported to another decade which lets them find new clues until they solve the whole big picture.”
“That sounds like such an intense story, no wonder you had a difficult time starting it.” Hanbin was in awe of however the hell Hao managed to think of all of that and piece it together into one cohesive story.
“It was, yeah. But the thing is, the concept of the time travel part only came later to me. It was the story of the big mystery they were about to unfold that came to me first. A tragic love story, a story that transcends literal decades, and in the end, a story that ties into who those two really are. Tying that whole thing together is what made it really difficult for me but it’s almost over, I’ve only got the last few scenes of the last act to write.”
Hanbin cheered him on, “I’m curious though, you said the time travel part only came later. What made you do that?”
“Well, several things actually. The first had to be the plane trip back to Fujian where I ended up listening to an old downloaded playlist on my phone and I rediscovered that song. It made me think about the movie and how time travel was such a casual thing in About Time, like it was never about saving the world and whatnot it was always about the people. Then when I got home, I saw my parents again and they were dancing—which was weird, because they never did that. They looked like teenagers in love again, that made me want to write about that kind of love.”
“How Long Will I Love You? That’s the song, right?” Hanbin glanced over at the jukebox behind him, “What do you think the chances are that they have it?”
“I doubt that, it’s highly unlikely.”
“But what if they do?” Hanbin stood up and slowly walked backwards, “Are you willing to bet on it?”
Hao thought about it for a while, Hanbin was probably playing with him but he couldn’t care less anyway. He set down his chopsticks and folded his arms, “Okay, sure. If they have it, you can have whatever you want. Ask me to pay the bill, drive home, whatever—anything you could possibly want. But if they don’t, then you’re gonna have to do a couple of favors for me.”
“You’re gonna make me clean your dorm aren’t you?” Hao chuckled, Hanbin knew him all too well.
“Maybe.”
“Fine, I’ll take you up on it.” Hanbin started flipping through the records on the jukebox. He knew how unlikely it was bound to be that of all the songs in the whole entire world, that particular song by that particular artist would be there on that jukebox but he was still determined.
You see, Hao wasn’t the only one he made a bet with on that. He made himself a promise too.
If he finds the song, he’ll do it. He’ll finally do it. He’ll give Hao what he’s been asking for so intensely all this time.
He flipped through the records diligently, eager to find it, eager to let the universe decide for him. He took one glance back at Hao for a second and watched him put more and more of the chicken on Hanbin’s bowl.
“What a handsome young guy.” Some old man in a dressed up polo and a white beard leaned against the doorframe by the jukebox. “Is he your fella?”
“Sort of, yeah.” The man noticed Hanbin skimming through the records like he was desperately looking for something.
“Do you need any help with that?”
“I’m just looking for one song in particular. It’s his favorite song, you see. I wanted to play it for him.” The old man looked at the machine and started scanning around the records too.
“What song is it?” Hanbin stepped back and let the old man take the buttons.
“How Long Will I Love You by The Waterboys.” The old man grinned and showed Hanbin the little record on the glass.
“Is this the right song?” The old man clicked play and suddenly the intro of How Long Will I Love You began playing in the background as a shocked smile grew on Hao’s face.
Hanbin thanked the man promptly and returned to Hao with a cheeky grin. “Whatever I wanted, right?”
Hao shook his head, “This can’t be real. You must’ve planned this!”
“No, I didn’t, I swear.” Hanbin held his hands up defensively.
“This is crazy.” He looked around the place with the softest, sparkly eyed look in his eye as the song continued to play throughout the nearly empty place.
“So why do you like this song so much?”
“Well, aside from liking it because of the movie, I’ve always wanted to have my own song. Like, you know how Faye in Chungking Express had California Dreamin’? I wanted to have that for myself too. I thought the song from the movie was a lot more romantic so I didn’t wanna choose that one if I was planning on using it on my wedding day someday,”
Hanbin smiled at that. A future, a wedding, a song. Something about the thought of Hao actually thinking of weddings made him smile a little.
“But I just loved the song so much and when I found out that this song was the original, I thought it was perfect. It was happy, it was romantic, it was soothing, it was something I could play on repeat and never get sick of.”
“So this song’s your great big desire then.”
“What?”
“You told me the other night that Faye’s song was symbolic of her great big desire to go out into the world and at the same time her desire to be with the guy.” Hao smiled faintly.
He remembered.
He remembered the long discussion, the thorough explanation, the nonstop yapping about every single little detail and pattern in the movie. Hanbin remembered them all.
“I guess that’s true.” Hanbin listened to the rest of the song intently, making sure to recognize just what the song was trying to say.
“So it’s love. Like the real deal.” Hanbin recalled the scenes from the movie, “That’s what your great big desire is?”
“A husband. A house. A dog or two named after a snack or some character.” Hao nearly quoted him, “A good life. That’s what my great big desire is.”
Hanbin kept his eyes on Hao for as long as he possibly could, for as long as the song played, and maybe even a little bit longer after.
He recalled the earlier weeks of their flirtationship, in the midst of yet another chicken meal with Matthew and Gyuvin, where he was warned about his approaching date.
Gyuvin had called him a romantic and he called Hao a realist, he claimed they would never work because Hao is just not built that way. But throughout these weeks, all Hanbin’s ever known about him is romance.
It was always Hao who initiated their hands to hold while they walked or hug Hanbin from the back whenever they’d cook some bullshit up in Hao’s little kitchen. He wasn’t as much of a sweet talker as Hanbin was but when it came to subtle touches, it was clear as day to Hanbin that it was his own way of being romantic.
That sort of made the rest of his doubts disappear.
The ones that made him swallow down what he’s been wanting to say to Hao all this time.
“What? What’s that look?”
He was ready. He knew they were both ready.
It was no longer about just sex to him now and he knew it was never just sex to Hao either. There was going to be something behind this decision he’s about to make and whatever it may be, he was ready for it. He was more than ready.
“Nothing.” Hanbin couldn’t pry his eyes away from him, not even for a second. “I just want to keep looking at you.”
“Look all you want, I guess. I’m yours for the night anyway.”
“Mine.” Hao let his eyes linger on Hanbin’s face a little more until he started to feel his cheeks hurting from all the smiling. “I like the sound of that.”
~~
Love, as 20 year old Sung Hanbin would put it, is a deep psychological phenomenon—oh who is he kidding, he can’t believe any of that shit right now.
Love can never be defined by a dictionary or by some sort of scientific explanation. Love isn’t a bunch of neurons doing their jobs. Love isn’t something you hear about in a song or read about in a book or watch in a movie.
They can come close, they can almost describe most of what it feels like to love somebody. But nothing can ever define love as closely as its purest form.
The ever desired sensation of a warm body you know all too well from the mind down to the heart and down to every curve and crevice of their body. The feeling of this person pressed firmly against you to the point of every single inch of skin on your body feels like it aches without the touch of that special somebody.
To most people and to Sung Hanbin himself, this is love.
The chaste kisses on the back of Hao’s palm, one hand on his thigh as they drive away into the night, fingers interlaced during walks from the street into his dorm building, and right as the elevator door closes, the biggest kiss known to man.
A needy kiss, almost as if Hao would turn to dust if he couldn’t have more and more of Hanbin.
The second that the elevator door closed, Hanbin was immediately pressed against the wall with his hands instantly falling to Hao’s waist like they were just its natural resting place. There were times like these, when Hanbin could tell the difference between Hao’s kisses.
Sometimes he would kiss like a fairy touching a flower petal. It was sweet and soft, almost dainty but they were full of little bursts of electricity between them that charged Hanbin with more energy and a desire to have more.
Sometimes Hao would kiss like a man running out of oxygen in outer space. It was full of nothing but pure lust and hunger, it made him run hot and feel like he just has to take his clothes off as soon as humanly possible and have his skin rub against another man’s warm skin like the friction is the only thing that could save him from dying.
But sometimes—and this had to be Hanbin’s favorite—Hao would kiss like he was melting. He kissed like there was a fire inside of him and a desire to share that fire with Hanbin until their lips would blend into one, until their hearts would become one, until all of him is completely and entirely surrendered to all of Hanbin.
Kissing Hao when he was like that was like holding a nearly melted candle, where you had to be careful but you had to give it your best shot to protect the fire he so graciously gifted you with. It was vulnerable and needy and Hanbin loved it, he loved every second of it.
It didn’t take long for Hao to wrap his arms around Hanbin’s neck, lips never once separating, tongues never not touching as much as they could. Soon, the elevator dinged but they were nowhere near done. Not now, maybe not ever.
Hanbin couldn’t afford to break his lips away from him even for a split second but he was starting to feel Hao pull his head away. No, no, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t afford to have such lips part from his, he would rather disappear than go a second without Hao’s lips on his.
The elevator door was about to close again any second now and Hanbin’s hands traveled down to the back of Hao’s thighs, lifting them up until they wrapped around his waist with ease.
Hao gasped barely in between kisses as he let his legs wrap around Hanbin who carried them out of that elevator until Hao’s back was pressed against the nearest wall. Soon, the friction of his crotch pressed against Hanbin’s was starting to get to him, his cheeks flushed red, his arms clutched him tighter. And most noticeably, his breathing was starting to morph into whines and breathy groans.
It took so much of Hanbin’s energy to maneuver them over to Hao’s door without their lips breaking contact even once, he wasn’t even thinking about how they were gonna unlock the door now. All that mattered was that Hao’s back was pressed against that door and his shirt was hiking up higher and higher, more and more skin, pressed flush against Hanbin’s body.
He didn’t even realize Hao had somehow magically unlocked the door until he was carrying him through the door.
It took about three more minutes of Hanbin’s tongue practically showing Hao just what he was planning to do with his hole that night. Three more minutes of the hottest, sloppiest kisses in the world until Hao finally pulled away.
They panted like two animals in heat, pressing their foreheads against each other as they fumbled with the clothes between them.
“Bin,” Hao planted his feet back on the ground and held Hanbin’s cheeks in his hands lovingly, “Bin, I’m ready.” He stared at him firmly. “I want to do it, I’m ready.”
He needed Hanbin to know he was serious about this and that this was something he genuinely wanted and something that isn’t a decision driven by just lust and a need to satisfy something.
He looked up into Hao’s glossy eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Sit me down. Talk to me. Ask me everything you need to ask me and I’ll give it to you.” He took Hanbin’s hand and pressed it against his chest, “I promise. I mean it.”
“You do know what this means, right? You do know what you’re asking for here? This isn’t just sex, Hao. I know that you know that too but I need you to acknowledge what this actually is without any hidden feelings. I need this decision to be clear and serious to you.”
“Nothing has ever been this serious to me.” He cradled Hanbin’s cheek once again and forced him to look him in the eye. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long now and it’s all I could ever want. The sex is just one thing, but this,” He squeezed Hanbin’s hand, “I want this. I need this. I need to be yours. And I’ve wanted to be for so long now.”
Hanbin felt like his entire body was about to explode from the sight of a pair of eyes that looked at him like he was everything in the whole entire world. He had never felt such intensity for somebody before, it had never been so real until Hao had walked into his life.
He wanted this too. It would be greedy and absolutely unfair to himself and to Hao not to finally do this.
But this is what he deserved, after years of heartbreak and misfortune, after yearning and pining for a love that could burn as bright as the fire in his heart, it was finally happening.
Ladies and gentlemen, 20 year old psych major, Sung Hanbin from the City of Cheonan, was finally FINALLY getting laid.
They had sat down on the floor, backs pressed against the frame of Hao’s bed and just talked. For nearly 2 whole hours, Hanbin had thoroughly gone through a mental checklist of every single sexual act he wanted to make sure Hao was aware of and was okay with. He double checked and triple checked if they were both clean, the last time they got tested, if they had any history of STIs and such. He even made sure to ask if there was anything that Hao might be triggered with.
Hao did his best not to flush too much or show his growing boner the longer they discussed everything and Hanbin appreciated that. Soon, they reached the part of the discussion about signals in case just saying “stop” would not be available to them (in certain cases such as choking, deepthroating, or having mouth gags on).
Then they moved on to sex toys, then roleplay, then edging, then sex positions, until eventually Hanbin stopped.
“What?” Hao blinked, suddenly taken aback at Hanbin standing up and untucking his shirt from his pants. “Are we done?”
“Almost.” He pulled off his shirt and neatly tucked it away at the foot of Hao’s bed before sitting right at the edge with his legs spread wide.
“What are you doing now?” Hao got on his knees and made his way between Hanbin’s legs.
“There’s this thing Matthew and Gyuvin used to joke about.” He looked down at his bare upper body and placed his hand on his left chest. “They said the only way somebody would agree to get laid with me is when they sign their name on my chest with their nails until it leaves a white mark.”
Hanbin lifted Hao up from the ground and propped him up to sit on his lap.
“It’s silly, I know. But—” Hao leaned in and pressed the softest little kiss on his lips as his finger dug into Hanbin’s skin.
“I’ll sign it.” He pressed his warm palm against Hanbin’s chest, “You make me yours and I’ll make you mine.”
Hanbin’s hand traveled up to his cheek as Hao leaned into his touch with his eyes closed and the faintest smile on his lips.
That had to hit him hard.
This all felt like such a vivid dream. There was no way somebody as beautiful and smart and kindhearted as Hao was willing to give himself to Hanbin like this. The sight of that smile alone made him question reality as it was.
“God, there’s no way you’re real. There’s no way this is real.” He mumbled in disbelief.
“It’s real, baby.” Hao moved his head to place a warm kiss on Hanbin’s palm that rested upon his cheek, “This is real.”
“You’re the only person who would ever stay and listen to all of those things I just said all the way through and still be here in the end. Why?”
Hao started digging his nail into Hanbin’s chest in a slow attempt at writing his name in big letters. “Because it’s important to you, Bin. It’s valuable to you and you’re valuable to me, which means that whatever is that important to you is that important to me too.”
Hanbin watched him etch his name slowly into his bare chest with that dark yet sincere look in his eye. “Do I really mean that much to you?”
He pulled his hand back and admired the letters engraved so carefully on Hanbin’s bare skin, glowing like they were etched from white ink.
“I’m writing my name on your chest, Sung Hanbin. Do you really think I would do that with just anybody?” Hanbin looked down at the white engraving on his chest, he barely even noticed Hao had put it there.
He wouldn’t have noticed anything at all, in fact. If not for that proud little smirk on Hao’s face.
He had written his name in Chinese letters.
昊.
Not Zhang Hao. Not Hao. Not 장하오. Not 하오. Not even his full name, 章昊.
It was just 昊 (Hao). It felt so simple and yet formal but intimate nonetheless. It was the name you would see on government papers but the same name you would hear when you address him. But to Hanbin, it was the name engraved so closely to his heart. It was the name Hanbin had known to love and cherish each and every time it slipped from his lips.
And now it was etched in white ink on his bare skin. The name of the sky, the name of the man who would always and forever be known as Sung Hanbin’s true and dearest first.
“Do you like it?” Hanbin could only stare at him and think about how he never wanted that mark to fade.
He couldn’t even give him a proper answer anymore, instead he brought their lips together and let Hao once again get lost in that feeling of bliss and a euphoric high.
Suddenly, the air of seriousness between them shattered like it was never even there to begin with. It was about time now, after all.
Hao pulled his head away with the playful grin on his face as he shrugged off Hanbin’s jacket that kept him warm throughout the night. “Are you nervous?”
“Just a little bit.” Hanbin’s hands found their way to Hao’s collar, fumbling at the fabric until Hao would start unbuttoning it. “But it’s hard to stay nervous when it’s you.”
Hao pressed their foreheads together and giggled. God, what Hanbin wouldn’t give to hear that giggle every single day for the rest of his life. “Well, if you remember this evening, you did agree on doing something for me to help me loosen up. That’s still on, right?”
“Oh definitely.” Hanbin leaned back on his palms and watched Hao stand up from his lap and start playing with the buttons of his top.
“What if I do something for you too?” He unbuttoned the top button and just couldn’t stop giggling.
“What? You’re gonna give me a strip show or something?”
“Maybe.” Hao shrugged, “I was thinking you could tell me exactly what you wanted to see and I’d give you exactly what you wanted.”
“Isn’t that just what we do already? I tell you to get on your knees, you do it. I tell you to come, you do it.” Hao swatted him away.
“Come on, humor me a little!” He laughed endearingly at Hao’s silly little bounces.
“Okay, okay, I’ll humor you.” He grabbed Hao’s waist and pulled him in closer, “So you want me to tell you what I want to see, right?”
“Yes. But no touching.”
Hanbin’s face frowned, “What do you mean no touching? What kind of sex has no touching?”
“The kind of sex you’ll be having with yourself if you don’t stop fooling around.” Hao folded his arms and stopped fumbling with the buttons on his shirt.
“If I’m having sex with myself there’s still technically touching involved.”
“Fine, go touch yourself then.” He started pretending to stomp away when a sharp tug at his arm led him to stumble right back onto Hanbin’s lap.
“I’d rather have you touch me, baby.” Hao sat up properly on his lap, legs draping against one side of his legs like he’s propping them up on the arm of a throne.
“Then you’re just gonna have to play along.” He pushed Hanbin back down on the bed until he was propped up by his elbows as he stood and started positioning himself in front of Hanbin’s eyeline.
The light of Hao’s lamp in the far corner of the room was the only thing that illuminated that small dorm room and from where Hao stood, every curve of his body was perfectly outlined in the silhouette through his thin good-for-nothing shirt. Hanbin’s eyes fell to the silhouette of his waist and visibly gulped.
Oh maybe Hao was onto something alright, maybe this was about to be real fun.
“Come on, baby. Name it and it’s off.” Hao pulled on the silly necktie he had worn over the polo and threw it at Hanbin playfully.
“Fuck.” Hanbin stared at the necktie and grinned to himself. This was about to be one hell of a night. He draped the tie around his bare shoulders loosely as he propped himself back up on his elbows. “Belt.”
Hao was quick to oblige and immediately pulled his belt through the loops and dropped them to the ground. “Next.”
“Socks.” Hanbin teased, it was clear in his voice that he was teasing him.
“Fine.” Hao kicked off his socks and gestured back at him. “What next? My necklace? Real sexy strip show you got here.”
“Pants.” Hao hesitated. He must’ve heard that wrong. “You heard me, baby. Take those pants off.”
His hand ghosted over the button, playing and playing, teasing and teasing until he finally popped it off and very slowly unzipped the zipper beneath.
“Good. Now drop it.” He grabbed a bunch of his pants from the waistband and tugged it all the way down until they pooled at his ankles and left him bare with only a pair of red checkered boxer shorts that ironically sort of matched his shirt.
His long, pale, silky legs were on full display now. The draft made his spine chill, the hair on his skin perked up, but all Hanbin could see were the thighs he so desperately needed around him.
“Come closer.” He sat up properly and gestured for him to come over.
“No touching.” Hao tutted.
“I know, I won’t touch you.” Hanbin eyed him up and down, “I just wanna see you better.”
Hao let his long legs stride over to the space between Hanbin’s knees as his hands rested on his hair.
“Next, baby.” He said softly, tucking loose strands of hair behind Hanbin’s ears as he stretched his arms up and let the hem of his shirt lift up and tease the outline of his pretty little waist.
“You know what’s next.” Hao chuckled and started thumbing at the buttons on his shirt.
“You seem very excited about this.” The buttons on his shirt started to pop out one by one, nearly halfway there now. Hanbin was starting to hate whoever the hell thought buttons were a good idea. He just wanted to pluck them out with his teeth but he played along.
He watched every button reveal a new inch of skin waiting to be kissed and adored by Hanbin’s touch. Just as Hao’s fingers reached the last button, Hao lifted his head up by his chin and forced him to look Hao in the eye.
“Listen,” He rested one hand on Hanbin’s shoulder and gently pushed away the tie around his broad shoulders, “I don’t know what it’s going to mean for us after this, I don’t know what we are after this since we never really talked about being exclusive or anything, but before anything happens I just want you to know,”
His voice was as serious and sincere as it gets. “You’re the only one. I know we already talked about it earlier but I mean it. There’s nobody else I’m talking to or interested in or thinking about or anything of the sort. It’s just you. You’re the only one, Bin.”
Hanbin smiled at that, hands reaching up to cup his cheeks, “I know.” He brought his hand to clutch Hao’s hesitant fingers over the last button on his shirt. Hao dipped his head down to press their foreheads together as he let Hanbin take control of his hands. “You’re my only one too.”
“Does that mean you’re keeping me?” He whispered in a soft voice.
“If you’ll let me. I’ll keep my little lego piece all to myself.” Hanbin finally unbuttoned the last button and admired every surface of skin on Hao’s chest down to his stomach.
He looked at Hao’s eyes for permission to let his hands finally touch him. He got his answer when Hao placed his hovering hand firmly on his stomach.
He’d seen Hao naked before. They’ve both seen each other completely naked in nearly every possible way but Hanbin could never get used to knowing and feeling that Hao, as bare as he is, is all Hanbin’s.
He let his hands grip onto both sides of Hao’s waist, letting his thumbs brush against his bare skin as Hao started shrugging the shirt off of his shoulders until he was left completely bare.
Hanbin let his hands travel up to Hao’s shoulders, trailing the tips of his fingers from the line down Hao’s stomach up to his sternum and rested there on the curve of his collarbone.
“You’re not real.”
Hao draped his arms over Hanbin’s shoulders. “I am and I’m all yours.” He leaned in and joined their lips once again until Hanbin’s hands on his waist brought him down to press on Hanbin’s lap.
For the rest of that evening, Hanbin could only think of the sound of guitar strings softly playing as he let his lips explore the lips of the man he treasured the most. When he began to feel Hao melting more and more into his touch, he slowly lowered them down to Hao’s bed until Hao’s back was carefully placed against his cool sheets.
Hao couldn’t name any better feeling than this. The longer Hanbin’s lips remained on his, the more he felt like mush that Hanbin could fuck around and mold under his touch. He loved that feeling because he knew it was Hanbin, he knew only Hanbin could make him feel that way and that made it all the more special.
Soon, their lips began to part as Hanbin’s lips busied themselves over Hao's jaw and down to his neck that earned him the sweetest little stifled moans.
“Baby,” Hanbin paused to press his lips to Hao’s ear, “Don’t hold back tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, your place is soundproofed anyway. You deserve it tonight.” He began tracing his tongue back down to Hao’s neck, “Let me hear you, baby.”
He continued sucking and nibbling down all over Hao’s neck to his shoulder to his chest. It felt like being high on a drug for both of them. Where Hanbin craved to devour more, Hao was already under him feeling the bliss.
When his soft, warm lips finally reached Hao’s stomach the trail of soft hickeys finally ended a few inches away from the waistband of his boxers.
The feeling of lips leaving his skin made Hao feel all fuzzy as he watched Hanbin place a pillow underneath his hips, propping his hips up into the air.
Hanbin intertwined their fingers as he positioned himself between Hao’s long, curled up legs. “Are you clean or do you want to go and freshen up for me?”
“I am. I douched before you picked me up and I checked it again before we left the restaurant just for good measure.”
“Is that what took you so long in the bathroom? You douched in the bathroom?”
“Hey, I didn’t exactly full on douche in there. I just freshened up a little just in case.” His ears were starting to turn red, “Are you gonna complain or are we gonna do this thing? The important thing is I’m clean. Now come on, let’s get this show on the road.”
Hanbin chuckled fondly and stroked his inner thigh, trailing little kisses lower and lower down. “Such a good baby, always prepared for me.” Hao whimpered at the wet tongue and the sharp little bites starting to leave marks on his milky white thighs.
“Can I take this off now?” Hanbin curled his fingers into the waistband of Hao’s boxers.
“Yes, please.” Hao lifted his hips up into the air as Hanbin’s long fingers tugged down at the garter until they were completely discarded. He groaned a little at the discomfort of the cold air around him but Hanbin already knew that. Before he could say anything else, his blankets were suddenly wrapped up around his belly and up to his bare chest.
Hanbin didn’t bother doing any more than that, he knew they were bound to be covered in sweat soon. That blanket would be discarded soon enough.
“Bin, tongue.” Hao was starting to get needier, his whine got longer that’s for sure.
Hanbin chuckled, letting his lips dip deeper and deeper down to Hao’s inner thigh but never completely around right where Hao wanted him. He teased Hao around a little more, watched him squirm, and listened to him whimper.
“Sung Hanbin, don’t make me come down there and slap you. I know you’re teasing.” Hanbin laughed and squeezed their hands that were still intertwined. “I’m not playing around here, I’m trying to get laid!”
“You are? I had no idea.” Hao rolled his eyes and playfully kicked Hanbin’s shoulder.
“You have a naked man in front of you with his legs wide open, waiting for your tongue in his hole. How could you have no idea?"
Hanbin kind of adored that. Even in the haze of sex and bareness, Hao was still Hao. He was still the silly, snarky, clever guy Hanbin was so dearly infatuated by.
“You’re adorable, baby.” Hanbin continued kissing his inner thigh more and more until his lips were right there under the curve of his voluptuous ass.
“Oh if I’m so cute why isn’t your tongue—ah, spoke too soon.” He let out the nastiest moan as Hanbin’s lips finally came in contact to press a hot, wet kiss on his rim.
His hands curved around Hao’s thighs, pressing them up to his chest as he continued pressing kisses against the rim. “Is this what you wanted?”
He hummed, the vibration sent waves of thrilling pleasure through Hao’s already sensitive body.
“More.” Hao threw his head back and sighed at the sensation of having Hanbin’s tongue run circles around the rim, teasing and teasing just to hear the needy high pitched whimpers of the Hottest Twink Alive™ falling apart at his tongue.
Hanbin tried his best to stay calm, to be just a little more patient but the moans coming out of Hao’s lips made it nearly impossible. He couldn’t stop thinking about how vocal he is from just this, how much more vocal could he be when he’s being torn apart by the same dick he’d been fitting tightly inside his mouth for weeks now.
Hanbin grew just a little more greedy, his hands fell to grip Hao’s ass while his tongue kept steady. Licking around the rim, darting in and out every now and then just when Hao’s muscles start to relax.
“Fuck.” Hao’s voice hiked up an octave or two, the feeling of Hanbin’s big, rough hands manhandling his ass like that while his tongue does all the work around the hole was sending him to a whole new world of bliss.
Hanbin recalled their 2 hour conversation, the long discussion of what was okay and what wasn’t, what felt good and what didn’t. The idea came to him right then and there as his hand squeezed Hao’s ass.
He pulled his hand away and gently, very lightly, slapped the cheek of his ass and watched the way it recoiled and bounced like that. Hao shivered at the feeling, hips bucking up to get closer and closer to Hanbin. Oh how he craved for more.
“This okay, baby?” Hanbin rubbed the plush skin while still pressing kisses at his needy hole.
“Yes, more. I want more.” And more he shall have.
Hanbin took his time with this one though, he wanted to make sure Hao was clenching around his tongue, begging for something bigger to fill him up by the time Hanbin’s done with him.
So he obliged. He started with spreading his cheeks wide and circling his tongue once again, one hand squeezing a cheek while his tongue started making its way inside of him. The motions were familiar to Hao, the way Hanbin’s tongue moved inside of him was strikingly similar to the way it moved when they were making out.
But it was just a little bit more different. You see, Hanbin had what Hao could only describe as a tongue crafted by the gay gods. It wasn’t that long or that thick or anything of the sort. What made it special was how flexible it was. A dancer’s tongue.
That tongue could reach spaces in angles that could practically be used in geometry exams.
Calculate the angle of Hanbin’s tongue if he was positioned 25 degrees to the right of Hao’s hole and wanted to reach the prostate approximately 15 degrees to the left. Bullshit problem, probably defied anatomy and physics in some way but it proved Hao’s point nonetheless.
It was an indescribable feeling to be licked, lapped up like a thirsty dog, and nearly munched like a goddamn meal by Sung Hanbin and his blessed tongue.
He started to notice Hao’s breathing going faster and faster, his skin was flushed too, a real indicator that Hanbin was close to getting exactly what he wanted. He just needed that one last push to finally get Hao to fully bottom out.
After another sloppy suck at Hao’s rim, leaving him nearly twitching, Hanbin’s hand had once again found itself on the thicker side of Hao’s ass. He kneaded the flesh like it was dough, until Hao couldn’t even moan properly anymore. And just when he was starting to feel Hao’s hole clench around his tongue, he lifted his hand up and once again spanked his thick plump ass.
“Fuck.” Hao gripped the sheets and clenched harder than he should’ve around Hanbin’s tongue. That was probably the first time Hanbin got a proper feel of just how tight he could actually be.
“More, Bin, more.” His moan had a growing raspiness to it now, probably a result of having his mouth open and letting out the most sinful sounds known to man since Hanbin began teasing at his hole.
After a few more rubs, Hanbin let his hand spank him in the same spot again and again and again until Hao’s moans were practically needy cries.
“Harder, please. Do it harder.” He rocked his hips more and more, his voice was getting higher and higher, whimpers growing louder and louder.
“Harder, huh? You like getting spanked, baby?” Hanbin pinched the skin of his reddening ass, getting ready for another strike at the precious plush ass he’s been adoring all night long. “You like it when I’m a little rough?”
And strike.
Hao’s eyes fluttered with another pretty moan, “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Harder, rougher, moremoremore.”
Strike.
“I like it when you beg.” Hanbin’s fingers traced the red flushed spot.
Strike.
“Do it some more and maybe I’ll go harder.”
Hao looked over at Hanbin finally parting from his hole and now towering over him with a particular look in his eyes he was certain he’d never seen before.
And oh did that look make him want impossibly more of Sung Hanbin. “Please, Bin.” He took Hanbin’s free hand by his wrist and nuzzled up against it like a kitty. “You know what I want. You’re the only one who can give me what I want. So please baby? You know I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever you tell me to. Please, please, please.”
“Fuck, you’re good.” Hanbin pulled his hand away from Hao’s cheek and gave him exactly what he wanted and maybe even more, a strike to the ass that left him stinging at the right angle just enough to get his poor clenching hole a sting too. The sound that left his mouth was ungodly.
And Hanbin wasted no time to do it again. Again and again and again, until Hao was already in tears, pink flushed tip leaking out, drool practically dripping down the side of his face.
He was a mess, a damn hot mess. He was already covered in so much sweat, the sheets around him nearly had an outline of his silhouette already. And he was nowhere near done too.
He needed more. Now, more than ever, he needed impossibly more.
“Now.” Hao grabbed Hanbin’s hand again and rubbed his palm against his cheek, “Now, Bin. I want it now. Fuck me now.” He kissed Hanbin’s hand and gave him his best bedroom eyes, with his tired, fucked out, needy expression.
“You sure, baby?” Hao only leaned into his hand, leaving his lips pressed against Hanbin’s palm as he nodded.
“Yes. I need more. I want more. You know I want more.” He started trailing kisses up and down Hanbin’s hand until his pretty plump lips were resting right over his long fingers. “Don’t make me beg anymore baby.”
“Oh but look at you,” The sight of Hao all bottomed out, staring at him with half-lidded bedroom eyes, and Hao’s plush, wet lips pressed against Hanbin’s fingers—oh what a sight to behold. “You’re so damn pretty when you beg.”
Hanbin began tracing his fingers onto Hao’s bottom lip, holding it down and dragging it until his glistening wet lower lip bounced back so prettily.
He held onto Hanbin’s wrist with both hands and pulled them away from his lips, “But I’d look even prettier when you’re inside me.” He looked at him dead in the eye.
“Fuck.” Sung Hanbin was being tested. This was a skill that probably only the great ancient scholars could achieve—the skill of great patience and careful decision making while a twink is under you begging for your dick.
Okay maybe the ancient scholars didn’t have twinks this goddamn hot and horny under them but that’s besides the point. He was about to make a careful decision now.
Continue with the teasing, the foreplay, the hot and steamy tension until Hao’s begging on his hands and knees or he could press that twink down on the bed and fuck him all night long, over and over and over again.
He looked back down at Hao who started trailing kisses up and down Hanbin’s fingers all over again. Suddenly the choice was oh so clear.
“Okay. I’ll give you what you want.” That little twinkle in Hao’s eyes grew exponentially, he was about to turn on his stomach when Hanbin had held him down with one hand and refused to let him face away. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said.” He let his hands roam down from Hao’s cheek to his neck to his chest and eventually gravitated to his erect nipples, his warm hand hovering and threatening to palm over the sensitive bud. “I didn’t tell you to face away from me though, did I, baby?” Hao shook his head with a moan.
“That’s right I didn’t. And in case you’ve forgotten, we still need to prep you, baby.” Hanbin’s hand lowered to slowly tease at the sensitive nipple. The needy whimper that left Hao’s lips was shameless. “You’re not done helping me out there too, right?”
Hao looked at him all confused until Hanbin’s hand hovered over his lips once again. “Suck.” He ordered as Hao’s pretty pink lips engulfed his long fingers warmly, without hesitation.
Oh the feeling of that hot tongue was something Hanbin knew all too well, that tongue inside his mouth, around his dick, and now around his fingers. He could practically write a whole paper on Hao’s tongue at this point.
But as it always was, Hao’s tongue was never the cherry on top of all his oral endeavors. It was the eyes.
He had mastered that needy, begging look with his bedroom eyes that just screamed FUCK ME in capital red letters. He always pulled that look too when he had something in his mouth and that made it all the more hot.
The sight of Hao’s wide-eyed needy stare while his pink, plump lips engulfed Hanbin’s long fingers was one of a kind. Hanbin didn’t expect to feel pleasure from this, from the mere sight of Hao sticking his tongue out in between Hanbin’s fingers and sucking in his cheeks as he went down on every finger.
When he had finished covering all four of Hanbin’s thick fingers in his spit, he left it off with a loud pop.
“Good job, baby.” His hand moved right down to Hao’s hole almost immediately, teasing at the rim and pressing the wet finger harder and harder just to watch him shiver underneath.
“Baby.” Hao moaned out, grinding his hips down on those fingers needily. “Come on, please. Put it in already, please.”
He snickered at that and lowered himself down to Hao’s ear, “I love hearing you beg.” His hot breath tested Hao even more. He was about to combust, really. Even more so when Hanbin had started trailing kisses down to his neck.
The finger around his rim started to finally dip in slowly as Hanbin started sucking on Hao’s neck.
“Fuck yeah.” His hand gripped Hanbin’s hair tightly, a feeling that he knew drove Hanbin nearly insane. With a single tug, Hanbin let out a strained moan against Hao’s bruised neck.
That singular finger got him squirming and whining already but it wasn’t enough, it just wasn’t enough.
“Need more.” He tugged at Hanbin’s hair once again, their breathy moans starting to harmonize with nearly every thrust of Hanbin’s finger.
“Want more, baby?” He pulled out the finger almost all the way through, the empty feeling almost left Hao to pieces. “Like this?” The second finger started teasing the opening just a little more before slowly dipping in together with the first finger.
The moan that left Hao’s mouth was indescribable. It was almost like he was seeing the pearly gates of heaven right before him from how good that moan must’ve been.
“Good, baby?” Hao only hummed and kept his eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. He tightened his hole around Hanbin’s fingers and started grinding his hips down more and more. Hanbin’s mind was starting to race now.
Wondering so many things, asking all the right questions in his head. How good could that tight hole possibly be around his dick? How much more fucked out could Hao look when he’s finally hitting that prostate? How many positions could they possibly do tonight? Missionary, doggy, standing up, upside down, cowboy, reverse cowboy, arch, superman, the bodyguard. Hell they could probably complete the kama sutra tonight.
A little while longer and Hao’s breath was already shaking, “Now, do it now. I’m ready.”
Hanbin tried not to laugh or coo, “Not yet, baby.”
“What do you mean?” Hao whined adorably. “You already stretched me out. I can take it, come on!”
“Not like this. Just wait a little bit more, okay?” Hao was starting to get very agitated. Perhaps in the haze of pleasure, he seemed to be forgetting the exact girth he was dealing with here. Two fingers were never going to cut it.
“What do you mean ‘wait’? How am I supposed to wait?! What am I supposed to do?! I need more!” He spurted out in a blurry whimper.
“Be patient, baby.” Hanbin started pulling out his fingers.
All of this teasing was starting to get to Hao, if he couldn’t get that dick soon he was about to take matters into his own hands for sure.
“Sung Hanbin, if you don’t fuck me now, I’m leaving.”
“Baby, you can’t leave, this is your dorm.” Fuck. He forgot about that.
“I don’t care, I’ll go knock around other people’s dorms and ask if they can fuck me.” Hanbin scoffed. He was pushing buttons now, well he wasn’t the only one who could play at that game.
“Oh, yeah? You think anyone else,” A third finger starting tracing Hao’s rim, his breathing faltered. “Can fuck you nearly as good as I can?” Suddenly, that third finger started dipping in all at once with the other two.
The sound that left Hao’s mouth must’ve been his way of answering.
“What do you think, baby? Think any other dick could do you better?”
“No.” He said in a moan as the fingers inside of him started moving faster. “No, only you. Only you, baby.”
His moans easily got louder and messier, a few more thrusts and Hanbin knew it was almost time.
He kind of wanted to hit pause just for a second there. A short breather, just to finally give himself a moment to take it all in. After years and years of waiting, hoping, praying that someone could finally understand him.
It was one hell of a journey.
After so many talking stages, situationships, nearly-there-relationships, and sometimes even weirdly sexual friendships. It was finally happening. It was like Hanbin had reached the post credits scene in his virgin era.
And he couldn’t have had it any better with Zhang Hao. The prettiest man in the whole entire world with the biggest heart too.
Hanbin was almost worried that this was all going to be a dream that he would hate to wake up from. In a matter of minutes, somebody was going to shake him awake until there would no longer be a gorgeous naked man under him, until he would be back in his own dorm room, until everything would be gone.
Hao reached out to grab his cheek and forced Hanbin to look him in the eye. That was how he knew. This was not a dream.
And oh how lucky he was that it wasn’t.
“Hanbinnie,” Hao attempted to keep his voice calm. “I’m ready.” He rubbed Hanbin’s cheek softly, as if he could tell Hanbin was the slightest bit nervous.
“Are you sure?” His thrusts started slowing down a little. Hao only gave him a reaffirming nod. “Do you have lube here?”
“Beside your knee.” Hanbin looked down at his knee that dug into the mattress and he was right, of course. Right there hiding under one of the pillows was a huge ass bottle of lube, about 4 packs of condoms, and most noticeably, a long pink dildo with a pretty white ribbon at the base.
Hanbin chuckled, his silly worries floated away for a second. “What’s all this, baby?” He watched Hao’s face turn away casually in embarrassment.
“It was from last night.”
“Were you practicing or something?” He slowly took his hands out from Hao’s hole to unbutton his pants, leaving Hao with an empty whine.
“Sort of.” Hao’s hands reached to help him tug the jeans down. “It’s nothing weird like that! It’s just been a while and I wanted to make sure I could still take it.”
“So you planned all of this since last night then?”
“I didn’t orchestrate everything like an evil bottom villain or something if that’s what you’re wondering. I just like being prepared.”
And that’s exactly what made this feel right.
Above all people, only Hao would prepare in advance for something like this. He was spontaneous but he always knew better. That made him the perfect match for someone like Hanbin.
“Condom or no condom?” He grabbed one of the condoms—conveniently in Hanbin’s size, by the way, as if Hao couldn’t be any more prepared.
“No condom.” Hanbin raised his eyebrows.
“Are you sure?” He lowered the condom back down hesitantly.
“I’m sure.” Hao’s hands rested on his pants as he stared at the bulge like a hungry man.
“You’re unbelievable.” Hanbin tugged his pants all the way off and started positioning himself at a more comfortable angle.
“You like it though.” Hao smiled at him knowing his words were true.
“I do.” Hanbin lowered his boxers at last, freeing the hard-on that had been aching in his pants for nearly a whole hour now.
These two have seen each other fully naked way too many times to count now but Hao could never get used to seeing Hanbin completely bare in front of him. It was a beautiful feeling to look at him like this, tracing his body from his bare bottom to the top of his head.
The long legs that rested in between Hao’s legs, the strong dancers thighs that held up well enough in that position for most of the night, his dick that Hao knew all too well—and one that Hao could never ever get sick of staring at—his strong waist that knew all the right ways to move, his chest that Hao never passed up an opportunity to mark with as much hickeys as he could possibly give, his tattoo that Hao spared a lick every chance he could get, his broad shoulders that Hao couldn’t wait to rest his legs on, and most of all his face.
No matter the circumstance, no matter the situation, his face remained the same. Sung Hanbin remained the same.
Kind, sweet, thoughtful, and most importantly—Hao’s.
He looked back down at the nearly faded white scratch of his name on Hanbin’s chest.
Mine. Mine. Mine. He’s all mine.
That was all Hao could think about as Hanbin lined himself up to him, now completely lubed up and ready.
“Okay,” Hanbin’s breath hitched as its head back neared Hao’s slick covered rim. “Are you ready?”
“For you? Always.” Hao rubbed his cheek lovingly. He could hear the shake in Hanbin’s voice, it was clear as day. “Are you nervous, baby?”
“Just a little bit.” Hao started pecking his cheeks softly, an attempt to loosen him up.
“It’s okay, baby.” He reached out for Hanbin’s free hand and squeezed it tight. “I’m ready.”
It was slow, the sting, the slick, and every second that Hanbin spent watching his length get taken in oh so very slowly by Hao’s hole.
First it was the tip making its way inside that made Hanbin release such a deep and breathy moan.
And then the frenulum.
And slowly, more and more, the shaft started to enter inch by inch.
Until finally, the tip of his dick reached Hao’s prostate—the spot he had been dreaming of for weeks and weeks.
“Oh my god.” Hao let out the loudest and lewdest moan that has ever left his lips and wrapped his arms around Hanbin’s shoulders. “You were right, I did need that third finger.” Hanbin held back a giggle, he tried his best not to move really.
He needed Hao to adjust to everything first and he was trying his best to make it easier for him but as he always did, Hao tested him to his limits.
“You feel so nice, baby.” He moaned out against Hanbin’s ear. “You fill me up so nicely.” He started playing around with Hanbin’s hair, carefully plotting his every move.
“What are you doing, Hao?”
“What do you think I’m doing?” His fingers started to rake their way through his hair.
“Why are you still teasing me? I’m literally inside you now.” Hao hummed, fingers carefully grabbing more and more of his hair.
“I like teasing you. It’s fun.” He tugged at Hanbin’s hair to make their eyes meet as Hanbin stifled a moan with a wince. “Besides, it’s the most fun I could get until you start moving.”
“And if I never start moving?” Hanbin looked at him like he was in no way willing to back down.
“You can try, but I don’t think you can resist all of this.” Hao tightened his hole, knowing the exact effect that would have on him.
“Fine.” Hanbin lowered his head to start sucking on Hao’s neck. “You win, baby.”
“Are you sure about that?” Hao tilted his neck to give him more access. “You say I win and yet you’re the one getting all the good stuff.”
“Thought it was a good idea to entertain you a little since you’re so bored that I’m still not moving. Why? Do you not like it?” Hanbin started pulling away from his neck but Hao’s hand was quick to push him back down.
“I never said stop.” Hanbin looked him in the eye before dipping his head back down and leaving yet another trail of red marks all across Hao’s neck. Hanbin knew his body well, it seems. He started doing this too right when he was stretching him out with his fingers. Apparently Hanbin seemed to know that Hao’s neck was the easiest way to loosen him up just a little more.
“That’s it.” Hao’s eyes fluttered shut with an exasperated whine, “That’s it, baby. I’m ready. You can start moving now.”
Hanbin seemed thoroughly thrilled at that, almost instantly lifting himself away from Hao’s neck, hands falling right onto his waist like he had been waiting for this moment his whole entire life—which honestly, he might’ve been.
He gripped Hao’s waist tighter and fixed the pillow over Hao’s hips more comfortably. “Tell me if it starts getting too much okay? And don’t forget to just tell me to stop if you need me to, alright?”
“Yes, baby.” Hanbin looked down at his hole and started to slowly move his hips back, his heart was pounding in his chest and Hao’s breathing was already starting to falter.
When he was just far enough from the prostate, he decided to start moving his hips just a little harder. His chest pressed firmly against Hao’s as he moved in deeper and deeper, hearing every little high pitched moan that left his lips.
He tried his best to keep his own moans to himself but the grip Hao had on his hair and the rhythmic tightening of his hole with every thrust of Hanbin’s hips made it just impossible.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His hips started moving just the slightest bit faster.
“And you’re so big.” Hao looked at him with a big blissful smile on his face, “We’re a perfect match, baby.”
Hanbin looked him in the eye as his hips started fucking into him faster and faster. That half lidded bedroom stare nearly sent Hao over the edge, how did he get so lucky with someone like Sung Hanbin?
His moans got louder and wetter the longer Hanbin’s dick teased around his prostate. Honestly, he had no idea what kind of monster would come over him once Hanbin finally shifts his angle and hits Hao right where he needed it.
Hanbin seemed to be very pleased though, he could barely keep his eyes open from the pleasure. All he could think about was going faster and faster, especially now that the sight in front of him was something straight out of his wet dream.
Hao, fully bare, with his legs wrapped around Hanbin’s waist, neck and chest covered in hickeys and so much sweat, eyes shut closed, eyebrows furrowed, and lips parted open and glazed with his drool as his cheek pressed against the pillow on his head.
“Hanbin,” He moaned out his name, in the lewdest way possible, “You’re so good, baby. You’re so good at this.”
That moan of his name was what must’ve sent him over the edge, gripping Hao’s waist impossibly tighter and shifting his hips at just the right angle to give him exactly what he wanted.
“Fuck, that’s it!” Hao’s moan echoed so loudly through the walls, like a really sexual scream—well, to be fair, it kind of was.
“Oh my god.” Hanbin threw his head back at the feeling of his tip hitting the prostate and the tight reaction he would get each time he hit over and over again. “You feel so good, baby.” His hips bucked up at just about the perfect angle to hit the exact spot that made Hao nearly cry from all the pleasure.
Soon, Hanbin’s hips began to move in an alternating rhythm. It slowed down for a little bit, the feeling of slow dragging of tight muscles around Hanbin’s cock was what he chased after. But then he’d move faster once again until Hao was rolling his eyes back from the pleasure.
“Baby, I want more. I don’t want to stop.” He moaned in Hanbin’s ear as his arms wrapped tightly around his broad shoulders. “Please don’t stop, baby. Don’t stop until I’m all filled up and leaking with your cum.”
“You want me to come inside?” Hao hummed as he started rocking his own hips more and more.
“Fill me up, baby.”
Hanbin felt his dick twitch at that, suddenly he was laser focused on that single task. His hips moved at the exact angle to hit Hao’s prostate repeatedly, in such a pace that had him leaving scratches on Hanbin’s back and louder moans bouncing on the walls.
In the heat of the moment, his arms scooped up Hao and pressed his back against the wall beside them, as he let Hao’s bare ass rest on his lap and his long legs wrap around his waist. His pace only got faster and much more intense. The sounds of skin slapping and Hao’s hot high pitched moans fought for dominance in volume within the constraints of the four walls of Hao’s dorm room.
“Hao, baby, I’m close.” Hao looked him in the eye with that same hazy bedroom glare as his lips remained parted in a long string of moans.
“Me too.” His hand fell to Hanbin’s cheek, caressing the skin with his thumb lovingly, “You promise to fill me up right?”
“I promise.” Hao rubbed his cheek and pulled him in for a soft kiss, nothing nearly as hot and steamy as what they were used to. Instead, it was sweet and sappy. Almost like Hao’s own way of thanking him for quite possibly the best night of his life.
Soon enough, Hanbin’s hips started to slow down, his eyebrows furrowed even more, even his moans through Hao’s lips started to show just how close he was.
With a few more hits at Hao’s prostate, Hao came before him. White ribbons spurted out across his stomach as he let out his last hot moan in Hanbin’s ear.
“Don’t stop.” Hao held his shoulders down, “Don’t you dare stop until I’m all filled up. You promised me.”
Hanbin obliged and kept up his pace, careful not to hurt or overstimulate Hao at this point but with the way Hao’s hips grinded up against him, tightening when he needed to, it was getting more and more difficult.
“Fuck, almost there.” He threw his head back and thrusted up into Hao much sloppier, the sweat, the cum, the drool, and everything else against Hanbin’s skin was starting to drive him insane.
“Give it to me, Bin.” Hao pressed his spit glazed lips against Hanbin’s ear, “Fill me up with all of your babies.”
In a matter of seconds, Hanbin’s lips parted in a deep, unrestrained moan until his load finally filled up Hao’s hole just the way he liked it. The feeling of that hot, sticky, oozing liquid filling him up was all Hao could think of at that moment. He almost got a hard-on at how good the sensation was.
As soon as Hanbin finished, Hao immediately crashed their lips together as they fell onto the bed. Hao smiled into the kiss and before he knew it he started giggling, that infectious giggle got Hanbin chuckling on his lips too.
When they started to feel much more stable, Hao moved to rest his head on Hanbin’s bare chest as Hanbin pulled up the blanket to cover them from the waist down.
“You’re one crazy guy, Zhang Hao.” Hanbin’s hand found its way to Hao’s hand that rested on his chest, intertwining them with a satisfied hum.
“You like it when I’m a little crazy though, don’t you?” He pressed soft pecks on Hanbin’s chest before meeting his eyes dreamily.
“I like you because you’re a little crazy, baby.” Hao saw something in his eyes at that second.
Something Hao didn’t usually see in his partners after sex. Usually, he was used to men seeing him like a little sextoy to clean, discard, and tuck away when they’re done. But Hanbin looked at him like he always did.
It was so fascinating to Hao that someone could still look at him with so much endearment and adoration even after the sinful acts they just committed. But then again, it made sense.
This was Sung Hanbin, after all.
Sung Hanbin, the romantic. The strawberry milk to his soju. His little lego piece. The guy who walked him home and would message him as soon as he got home after every date, the guy who always held the door open for him and everyone else, the guy who planned the whole date night at the noodle joint so Hao could live out his fantasies of living in a Wong Kar Wai movie, the guy who put The Book of fucking Life in his letterboxd Top 4 because he cried at the thought of an animated man never seeing the love of his life again.
“Are you glad that it’s me?” He looked Hanbin in the eye, “Your first time, I mean. Are you glad that it’s me?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you could’ve been with any of your other exes or situationships and stuff but you ended up with me. You could’ve been with a lot of other different types of people too. You could’ve been with a hot actor or a supermodel or a sex therapist or a—”
“I want you though.” He brushed away Hao’s hair that stuck to his forehead with sweat. “I wanted someone who could understand what I wanted, who could understand that sex is serious to me, relationships are serious to me, love is serious to me.” That sent chills down Hao’s spine.
“But even if they did, they still won’t be you. They still won’t be as passionate as you are with your work, as smart and clever, as kind and thoughtful, and above all,” He pressed a chaste kiss on Hao’s pouty lips. “None of them could ever have the amount of heart that you have.”
Hao pushed himself up to give him another kiss, a longer one, a deeper one, a much more sincere one. “I’m glad it’s you.” Hanbin whispered between kisses, “I’m the luckiest man in the world because it’s you.”
“You’re so goddamn cheesy.” Hao smiled and pressed their foreheads together.
“Careful now, my babies are inside you. You could potentially be calling the father of your children cheesy.” Hao burst out in laughter, playfully slapping Hanbin’s chest as their laughter filled the room’s steamy silence.
~~
“19 times 20.” Hanbin blurted out while playing with Hao’s hair.
“380!” Hao snapped his fingers.
“25 times 16.”
“400!” He said proudly, “I told you, Kumon pays off.”
“34.5 times 2.”
“69!” Hanbin chortled at the late realization on Hao’s face. “You dickhead.”
“You lowkey asked for it, what can I say?” Hanbin finally sat up, “Now enough Kumon talk, we need to clean you up before my load dries up in you.”
“I’m too lazy to get up and walk though.” He whined and spread out his long limbs on the bed, “Can’t you just bring the bathroom here or something.”
“You lazy bum.” Hanbin chuckled and put his hands on his hips as he stared at Hao’s lazy starfish position on the bed. “If I pick you up and take you there, will you stop all the whining?”
“Give it a try, it might just work.” Hao laid his head back comfortably, not expecting a pair of arms to lift him up from the bed bridal style and all. “What are you doing?! Actually, more importantly, how are you doing this?”
“I’ve been working out.” He shrugged cockily.
“You’ve been working out just to do this, haven’t you?” Hao rolled his eyes, “You loser.”
In Hao’s insanely tiny bathroom, Hanbin set him down comfortably on the bathtub that took up half of the entire bathroom. He switched on one of the bright fairy lights and was about to switch off the big light when Hao stopped him.
“Wait, no not yet! You have to turn on the other two fairy lights as well.”
He pointed at the one over the tub and the one on the opposite wall. “Oh, alright. Sorry.” He said as he switched on the bright fairy lights. “Why do you have so many fairy lights and battery-operated-candles in here anyway?”
“Sometimes I like soaking in the tub and I hate it with the overhead lighting.” Hanbin sat on the ledge and started filling up the tub with water from the shower head above them that he deemed was warm enough.
“Are the candles not enough though?”
Hao moved his head under the shower head to freshen his face with the running water. “It’s too dark. I don’t like it when it’s too dark.”
“I see,” Hanbin reached over the tub to switch on a few of the candles. “Are you scared of the dark?”
“Not really scared, just a little uncomfortable.” He brushed his wet hair away from his face. “It’s just a weird thing from my childhood that I never got over. I used to believe a monster under my bed would come get me if the lights were too dark so I always had a really bright nightlight on.”
“That’s kind of cute.” Hanbin dipped his feet into the tub and dove in on the opposite side of where Hao sat.
“Not until I got scolded for keeping way too many nightlights plugged in.”
“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” Hanbin spread his arms wide, an invitation that Hao took to position himself in between Hanbin’s legs. “So if you don’t like the dark very much, do you just not watch movies in theaters then? Isn’t that kind of sad as a film dude and all that?”
“I can go to the theaters, it’s just…” He glared at Hanbin over his shoulder, “Don’t judge me for this.”
“It’s gonna be geeky isn’t it?” Hanbin winced at Hao’s elbow, smacking him in the rib like that. “Okay, fine I won’t! I promise.”
“Good.” Hao leaned back comfortably, “It’s just that I usually go with a headlight because the one on my phone isn’t bright enough.”
“A headlight? As in the one people use when they go into caves and shit?”
“See, I knew you were gonna judge me.” He jokingly attempted to get off from between Hanbin’s legs.
“No, no, no! I’m not judging!” Hanbin chuckled, wrapping his arms around Hao, “I’ll get us matching headlights if that’ll make you feel better. We can wear it together when we go on a date to the movies.”
“Really?” Hao raised an eyebrow. “You’re willing to wear a headlight to the cinema just to match with me?”
“I’m willing to do a lot of things for you, baby.” He pressed a gentle kiss on Hao’s shoulder blade as they shared a look that just made Hanbin want to keep him in his arms forever.
After a gentle cleaning of Hao’s hole, thighs, and stomach with the warm water, Hao had made himself comfortable between Hanbin’s legs like that. His back pressed against Hanbin’s bare, wet chest, head on his shoulder, both hands intertwined with one another’s, and the running shower head filling the tub with warm water that their intertwined legs basked in.
“Oh this is the life.” He sighed contentedly and cozied up to his chest. “Just give me a cup of hot coffee and I’m set for life. This is my house now. Right here between Sung Hanbin, Cheonan Pretty Boy’s legs.”
Hanbin chuckled, bringing their hands up to rest on Hao’s chest. “Coffee? Don’t you think tea would help you relax more?”
“Coffee and tea have opposite reactions on me. I sleep better when I have a hot cup of straight black coffee in my system and I stay awake better when it’s tea.” Hanbin recalled their numerous cafe dates and the consistent orders of Hao’s hot Americanos.
“I can make you a cup before we head to bed later.” Hao froze and stiffly turned around with a subtle smile on his face.
“You’re spending the night here?” He tried his best to hide the smile but the twinkle in his eye instantly gave him away.
“Would that be okay?” Hao nodded vigorously. He’s been not-so-subtly dropping hints for Hanbin to finally sleep over at his place throughout the whole week. After he got a taste of what it was like to fall asleep in his burly arms, he had started talking about how he hasn’t been sleeping well and about how he suddenly has all of Hanbin’s favorite snacks in his cupboards.
“More than okay. I still have the basketball shorts you lent me that night so you could just wear that to sleep. And I know you run hot so you don’t need a shirt anyway. I have a spare toothbrush and everything ready too. This is gonna be fun!" Hao laid his head back down on Hanbin’s shoulder and placed a peck on the side of his neck.
“Ah,” Hanbin seethed through his teeth, a curious thing really. “Be careful.”
“What? Why?” He looked at him with genuine concern, only to see a familiar flush on Hanbin’s face. “Oh, that’s why.” Hao looked down to see a growing half mast right beside his ass.
A switch was instantly flipped in the back of Hao’s mind, one that had no intention of hiding itself too.
“Don’t get any ideas.” Hanbin could see right through his half lidded eyes.
“I wasn’t saying anything!” He laid back down against his chest with the most mischievous cheeky little grin on his face. “It’s just interesting.”
“Here we go.” Hanbin shook his head, he knew Hao all too well to know that whatever his next words will be would probably end up being one of two things: either the nastiest shit that would get Hanbin to bend him over in a matter or minutes or something subtle and clever disguised in such a teasing manner.
“I never thought you could have such a fast refractory period.” So, the latter then. Well, that was definitely better than Hao talking about needing Hanbin’s cock in his mouth in the most seductive voice known to man.
“I don’t have one, that’s why.”
Alarm bells. Siren bells. Hell, sure why not add church bells in the mix too.
Every sort of alarm started going off in Hao’s head, all the possibilities, all the creative little sex adventures he could possibly think of. Oh this was about to be fun.
“That’s hot, baby.” He leaned back harder, pressing his wet ass further against Hanbin’s growing dick.
“Hey,” His hands gripped Hao’s waist, “Careful now. Was the sex we just had not enough?”
“It was,” Hao let his hands wander down to Hanbin’s inner thigh. “But what can I say? I’m fully recharged now.”
Hanbin stopped Hao’s hand that traveled dangerously lower and lower down his inner thigh. “You still need to rest though, baby. Wait a little longer and we can have another round when we go back to your bed.”
Hao frowned at that. He clearly didn’t like the sound of that. “But I want it now though.” He shifted around the running water, knowing exactly what his moving ass was doing to Hanbin.
“You have to let yourself rest first.” He did his best to look away from the increasing friction below him. “Maybe if it was just another blowjob, I would’ve let you. But your hole needs some rest as well baby, you know that.”
“Fuck my hole.” He turned his head to look Hanbin straight in the eye. “I mean it, Bin. Fuck my hole.” Hao moved around in the water, shifting his weight to face Hanbin and drape his legs around Hanbin’s thighs to take a seat on his bare lap. His head dipped down to Hanbin’s ear as he held back a moan at the sudden pressure of Hao’s bare ass against his rock hard dick.
“Right here. Right now.” Hao wrapped his arms around Hanbin’s neck, hands teasingly brushing against the wet skin of Hanbin’s chest. “Fuck me like you mean it.” He said in a deep whisper, his wet tongue sticking out just barely to graze the shell of Hanbin’s ear. That somehow made him impossibly harder under Hao’s ass, a notion that did not go unnoticed.
“Fuck.” Hanbin shut his eyes, hands tightening around Hao’s waist. “Do that again."
He was a fascinating little thing like that under Hao’s touch, twitching at every gentle brush of his fingers against Hao’s skin, gasping at the sudden feeling of Hao’s hot breath against his ear.
“Freak.” Hao pressed his lips against the helix of Hanbin’s ear, tongue grazing the inner lining of his concha. The wet lick, the hot breath, and the deep moan Hanbin just released. Hao couldn’t help but feel satisfied. “Look at you moaning at a tongue in your ear.”
His plush lips began nibbling around the outer shell, making the wettest, slickest noises that only made his knees weak. “You’re pathetic.” He stuck his tongue out fully and started tracing the delicate curves of Hanbin’s ear, knowing how much it made him hard, tickled him, made him hard, made him moan, did he mention made him hard?
“Fuck. Don’t stop.” Hanbin leaned his head back to give him more space.
Despite the power he knew he had over Hanbin at that moment, Hao was still Hao. He was still this obedient little thing, desperate to get exactly what he wanted and more. So he obliged.
He let his tongue drag on from the lobe to the top of the helix, every scrape of his tongue against the skin of his ear sent shivers down Hanbin’s spine. The pair of lips around the shell of his ear only made that feeling somewhat worse.
When Hao’s playful tongue started dipping into Hanbin’s inner ear, the pair of hands around his waist tightened. He swore he could feel nails digging into his bare skin at that point but he didn’t stop, if anything he made it worse.
He let his tongue run circles around the inner folds of the ear while his lips sucked the skin around it. He wasn’t satisfied just yet though, he could tell there needed to be something more. So he started moving his lips and tongue rhythmically, the same rhythm that his hips followed as he rocked them down against Hanbin’s cock.
“Give in.” He whispered in the middle of long licks around the folds of Hanbin’s ear. “Fuck me now.”
“But your hole.” He replied in a deep groan.
“Needs your dick.” Hao insisted. “We can do it now, right here while we shower so we don’t have to wash it all off again.”
“Here?” Hanbin felt his heart skip a beat at that. “You want me to fuck you in the shower?”
Hanbin considered it. Well, he’d honestly be crazy not to. He had just lost his virginity to the Hottest Twink Alive™ and now he’s about to have it yet again.
He couldn’t let the logic leave his mind though. He knew Hao’s hole must’ve needed some time to recover, he couldn’t think with his dick about these things especially when it came to Hao.
But judging from the way he could move just as easily on Hanbin’s lap, even managing to grind up to him with ease. Seems like he really is ready for another round.
“Would that be so bad?” Now who the hell could resist that.
Zhang Hao, Hottest Twink Alive™, completely wet from the shower, fully naked in his lap, ass rubbing against his length, and unmistakably so—the most fuck-me pair of eyes in existence.
Nobody, no one in their right mind, could ever resist that. No man nor woman in the whole entire world could say no to whatever god-tier sight this is.
“No.” And Sung Hanbin was no exception. He gave in, “Not a bad idea at all, baby.”
“Yeah?” Hao’s arms wrapped around his neck, eyes finding Hanbin’s lips as soon as he had the chance to.
“Yeah.” The next few minutes were something Hanbin couldn’t really tell if he was proud of or something he could’ve handled better.
The kiss started slow, just like every other kiss but much wetter. Maybe it was the water from the shower head above them or the fact that their cocks were dripping with slick or the hot spit that exchanged between their mouths in the open mouth kisses.
That kiss didn’t last long though. Hanbin couldn’t last that long.
Who could even last that long with the Hottest Twink Alive™’s bare ass grinding up against you like that? Hanbin would salute whoever could—not like he’d let anybody else do it though. The grip he had on Hao’s waist was already enough to say that.
After a few more masterful grinds of Hao’s hips, Hanbin had taken matters into his own hands. He took Hao by the waist, pushed themselves up, and flipped him around until Hao’s chest was flushed against the tiles of his bathroom wall.
The wicked smile on his face was sickening, he was finding this whole thing far too pleasurable. Chest and hands against the wall, ass perked up behind him, cheek mushed against the tile, and a rough pair of hands on his hips guiding him to grind against Hanbin’s rock hard leaking cock.
Oh the levels of greed to this manhandling experience was phenomenal.
“You’re enjoying this a little too much.” Hanbin leaned forward to nibble on his ear.
“I don’t care.” He mumbled through a clearly satisfied sigh. “I’m getting what I want, that’s all that matters.”
“And if I make you beg again?” Hao whimpered and gave him a sad puppy-eyed look over his shoulder.
“No, please. Enough begging, please. Just let me have it already.” He arched his back further, his wet cheeks brushing against Hanbin’s shaft to tease him.
It worked, of course. Hanbin threw his head back and inhaled sharply, “You’re gonna kill me one of these days, you know that?”
“I definitely will if you make me beg for dick a second time around.” Hanbin laughed at him fondly, now pressing kisses from Hao’s ear to his shoulders. “Ah, enough teasing. There’s lube over there, hurry up.”
Hanbin grabbed the bottle of shower lube Hao had conveniently hid behind one of the candles. “This seems handy. You jack off in the shower a lot or something?”
“Please stop trying to embarrass me and just lube me up already.” Hanbin laughed and uncapped the bottle, covering them up with just enough lube to last them a while probably.
“Fine, I’ll give you what you want already. But only because you’re cute.” He continued trailing soft kisses down Hao’s back, humming fondly every now and then like it was such a treat to kiss every crevice of this man’s body. “Turn the hot water on, baby.”
Hao’s hand slid down the wet tile to turn the knob of the shower until a sudden pour of cold water fell right over his back. “Ah, cold! Cold!”
“You turned the cold water on, that’s why!” Hanbin reached over to turn the other knob, adjusting the temperature until the water was just warm enough. “How’s that?”
Hao’s back finally relaxed at the sudden warm and wet sensation sliding off his back. “Hanbinnie takes care of me well.” He hummed. “Feels good.”
“The water or the kisses?” Hanbin paused from kissing Hao’s shoulder to look him in the eye.
“The Sung Hanbin.” Hao smiled at him warmly, the type of smile he used to give Hanbin every night they parted during those cafe dates. It was the same smile that made Hanbin feel that this was just always gonna feel right.
Hao being with Hanbin was always going to feel right.
“Tell me if it hurts or if you want me to stop, okay?” He said in the softest voice possible.
“I will.” Hao replied just as softly.
“Good.” Hanbin’s lips started moving to his wet shoulders once again, trickling down kisses like the warm water droplets that moved down his back, following every curve and crevice of Hao’s body.
In the steam of the water surrounding them, Hao could feel himself being filled up little by little. He threw his head back on Hanbin’s shoulder and let out the daintiest, prettiest sighs each time he felt Hanbin’s length reach him deeper and deeper.
“Feels good, baby?” Hanbin’s hand rested over Hao’s stomach in an attempt to keep him upright.
“Feel so full.” Hao mumbled hazily, the water above them drenched his neck and stomach. The sensation of the hot water all over his body, the warmth of Hanbin’s chest against his back, and the hot leaking length inside of him felt like a spa day for bottoms. “Can you move now, please?”
“You’re being very nice to me tonight, baby.” Hanbin’s thumb caressed Hao’s tummy sweetly. “How do you want it this time? Slow? Teasing? Fast?”
“Rough.” Hao took Hanbin’s hand and trailed it up from his stomach to his neck. “Sloppy, messy, rough. Slam me against the wall again, manhandle me, spank me, choke me, I don’t care. Give it to me rough.”
Was it getting hot? Is the weather humid tonight? Maybe it’s the steam shower or something. Or perhaps the hole engulfing his dick.
It was a little ridiculous for Hanbin to be all blushy and flustered at Hao looking at him like that with wet lips parted, saying the bluntest of words in the hottest way possible but he could just never get used to this. Sex was one thing but sex with the Hottest Twink Alive™, the absolute most gorgeous bottom in existence, required great courage and strength. Especially when he says things like this.
“You want me to what?” His hand rested against Hao’s neck hesitantly.
“Is it too weird? Do you not like it?” Hao looked like he was one small step away from pouting like a puppy.
“No, baby, I like it. It’s just—are you sure you wanna get rough in the shower?” He rubbed the side of his hickey covered neck carefully.
“Yeah. We can turn off the water if you’re concerned about slipping or anything. Or we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to—” He cut himself off with a gasp as he was suddenly pressed back against the wall with both arms pinned down against the tiles.
“Who said I don’t want to?” Hanbin turned the water off, the sudden lack of steamy hot water around them made Hao feel just a little more sensitive. “If you can take it, why the hell not?” Hanbin moved his hips back and thrusted into him hard. “Just tell me to stop when you need me to, okay?”
“Okay.” His reply was soon drowned out in a whimper when Hanbin’s hips started rocking into him intensely, not fast, not rhythmical, but hard and firm.
Hanbin’s hands tightened around Hao’s wrists as he continued thrusting up into him. Hanbin knew exactly what he was doing, hitting the prostate at a pace that teased him and pleased him all at the same time.
The warmth and pressure of Hao’s tight hole around him seemed to only make things much more intense. Hao knew exactly what to do, exactly where he wanted him.
The tight feeling around him was to die for, oh that ass was an ass people would go to war for.
Before he knew it, Hanbin was going faster and faster. His breathing was growing more labored the more he thrust into Hao’s hole. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes shut close as he pushed Hao further into the wall.
“Oh fuck, faster.” Hao moaned out, cheek pressed firmly against the fogged up tile, drool trickling down the side of his cheek. He wanted it rough and boy did he get it rough.
“Faster, huh?” Hanbin groaned in his ear, “Like this?” His hands finally let go of Hao’s wrists and fell back to his waist as he pulled out nearly all the way just to thrust back in and hit the right spot intensely at the exact pace that brought Hao’s moans to a whole other octave.
It was all so sloppy, the thrusts, the moans, the drool against the tile. Every sensation was starting to feel more and more tingly all over their bodies, every brush of skin against skin almost sent them over the edge.
Hanbin could tell Hao needed more of his touch, more of his attention, more of him.
In the midst of the thrusts, he pulled Hao from the wall with ease and leaned him up against his chest. Hao’s high pitched moans at the constant pace of Hanbin’s thrusts was uninterrupted, he barely even noticed Hanbin moving him away from the wall.
He only seemed to realize where he was when Hanbin’s hand had started to linger around his thighs.
“Bin, what are you…” His eyes fluttered shut, words morphing into incoherent sighs when his hand ghosts over Hao’s leaking tip while on its way to his stomach.
“What is it you asked me for earlier?” Hao could barely bring himself to listen to whatever Hanbin was whispering in his ear. “You wanted me to choke you?”
Shameless. The absolute most shameless, sinful, dirtiest moan known to man came from Hao’s mouth, unwarranted. The dick inside him moved at the same pace, the hand on his stomach stayed unmoved too.
It was the mere thought of a hand around his neck that made him moan like a man in heat. And if he’s being honest, that moan made Hanbin want it impossibly more.
“Do you mean,” He let his hands snake up higher and higher, purposely brushing against Hao’s sensitive nipples on their way up to his neck just to hear him moan again, “Like this?” His long wet fingers softly gripped Hao’s slender neck covered with love bites from every side.
“Fuck, yes.” Hao’s chest heaved, he could feel Hanbin slowing down his pace too. He knew Hanbin was teasing him, pushing him over the edge. He couldn’t even complain, that’s how much he liked it. “That’s it, tighter.” Hao leaned his head back further into Hanbin’s shoulder, giving way to more of his neck for Hanbin’s viewing pleasure.
“Tighter what?” Hanbin slowed down and pulled his hips away, nearly pulling out completely.
“Please. Tighter, please, baby. Tighter, please.” Hanbin’s delicate fingers squeezed his neck just a little more, the delightful sound of his constrained moan was just what Hanbin needed to hear.
He thrust his hips back in, hitting Hao’s prostate in one big thrust. “You’re doing so well, baby.” Hanbin groaned into the crook of Hao’s neck as he watched Hao’s lewd face react to the pressure around his neck.
“Ah, feels good.” Hao mumbled as his hands gripped Hanbin’s shoulders that encaged him. “Faster, faster, please. Feels good.” He could feel Hanbin’s warm hand instinctively tighten around his neck the faster he thrusted into him.
“Is this what you wanted?” His hips slowly increased its pace and shifted just a little bit more to hit his prostate at just the right intensity.
“Baby,” His hands fell to the arm that clutched his neck. “Baby, please don’t stop. Please tighter, faster. Please, baby, please.”
His moans were starting to sound like desperate cries. Hanbin shouldn’t have been so into that but for some reason he was. There was just something about looking at Hao’s fucked out face, eyes rolling back, drool down the side of his face while he was pounding into him sloppily and choking him with one strong hand.
He wanted to slow down and tease him, make him beg for it a little more, but he just couldn’t. Not when Hao so clearly liked it like this.
He tightened his grip once more, thumb pressing over the right spot on Hao’s skin to send the hottest tingly feeling all over his neck and cheeks but still careful enough not to hurt him. He let his hips move at a pace that clearly showed how Hanbin had let go of any control he had left in his pace.
Hanbin felt like an animal, grinding and pounding uncontrollably without technique or purpose or any inhibitions at all. He could feel his body relaxing into Hao’s, the more he just let go and let his body move the way he wanted it to.
His moans were growing louder, at that point neither of them were even sure whose moans were whose.
“I’m getting close.” Hao’s hand clutched his wrist. “Bin, I’m getting close.”
“I know, baby. Right there with you.” He kept up his pace and carefully let go of Hao’s neck. Almost instantly, Hao let out a needy whine. “Be patient.” Hanbin placed his finger over Hao’s lips and let his hand linger down lower and lower until his fingers reached Hao’s leaking tip.
“Hanbin.” He gasped out for air, only to be met with Hanbin’s other hand snaking back up to his neck. “Fuck. Fuck me. Fuck me!” He cried out, head falling to Hanbin’s shoulders.
Between the big cock pounding his prostate over and over again, the fingers tightening around his dick, playing with the leaking slit, and the hand gripping his neck, it was impossible for Hao not to see stars.
“I am, baby.” Hanbin giggled. In the midst of crazy fucking sex, he was giggling, heehee-ing, haha-ing. He was crazy. Hao wanted him so bad. “Do you like it? Is it good?”
“Yes, yes. You’re so good, Bin. So good.” He was twitching in Hanbin’s hand now. Rightful place for his cock to be, honestly.
“That’s it, come on. Come all over me, baby.” Hanbin gave him a loving peck at the side of his neck as he watched Hao completely fall apart, in his hands. Hao’s cum smeared all across his thighs, his stomach, Hanbin’s hands, even the wall in front of them. It was definitely much more than what he released earlier.
“Oh my god, Sung Hanbin.” He panted, hole tightening instinctively. He nearly forgot about that.
“Shit.” Hanbin moaned, hot breath falling against Hao’s shoulder.
“Are you close?” He hummed and watched Hao guide him against the wall.
“Hao, what are you doing?” He hissed at the feeling of Hao’s hole releasing his twitching dick.
“On my face, I want you all over my face.” He knelt down in front of Hanbin and took his cock in his hands, expertly moving his fist up and down the shaft and finally brushing his thumb against the tip.
“Cum on my face, please.” He lowered his head down to smoothly take in the head, giving his tip one hell of a good suck as his hands continued going through the motions that drove Hanbin to throw his head back against the tile and grip Hao’s cheek.
“You’re fucking crazy.” Hanbin panted, “Fuck, yeah. Don’t stop.” His other hand raked through Hao’s hair and squeezed at the pleasure of Hao’s hot tongue swirling against his tip.
“That’s it, baby. I’m coming.” Hao pulled his lips off from his cock with a pop and kept up the motions in his hands as he stuck his tongue out and started slapping the tip on it. That sight had to be it. It was like a button was pressed somewhere in Sung Hanbin central.
In a matter of seconds, his cum had covered Hao’s face all over. Painting every crevice of his face and neck in white. The joy on Hao’s face whilst completely covered in strings of white was indescribable, it was like staring at a wet dream come to life.
“You…” Hanbin caressed his cheek, wiping off some of his load from the corner of Hao’s lips. “You’re…”
“Made for me.” Hao leaned into his palm like a puppy. “Sung Hanbin is made for me.”
“And so are you.”
“Like lego pieces.” Hao kissed his palm and stared up into Hanbin’s hazy eyes.
That was probably one of the first times Hanbin had ever felt it. That goddamned feeling he’s been yearning for all his life. Something he had been denied for all the right reasons, something that never seemed to find him because it was leading him here.
With Zhang Hao.
In his touch, in his warmth, in his gaze.
That was the first time Sung Hanbin had felt real, genuine, unimaginable love.