Work Text:
it has been three weeks since you, EQUIUS ZAHHAK has talked to anyone. you have not opened messages nor trollian since you had kiss the lowblood, TAVROS NITRAM. ever since you have felt guilty for what you think: tavros deserves better, this is a fact to you, you *know* he deserves better, and it hurts, because you genuinely love him. you already probably made him rethink his feelings by ghosting everyone, only an asshole like you would do such a thing, he's so sweet and caring that it makes you feel weak, not by the power he has over you but the fact he makes your heart soar, you always expected yourself to end up with someone like gamzee, because it felt right to end under a high bloods command, but here you are staring at your phone and contemplating your unethical choices. you listen to your heart for once, opening your trollian. it didn't take long for the bronze to greet him.
-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
AT: mI AMOR,, }:D
AT: wHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?,,
AT: aND ARE YOU OKAY??,
AT: yOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK }:(
AT: i MAY OR MAY NOT BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK SO I CAN TALK ABOUT STUFF,, lIKE DATES AND STUFF
CT: D--> Well hello there nitram.
CT: D--> I have been quite busy with my robots, so I do apologize for ignoring lots of people.
you hesitate. your hands hover over the beat up keyboard, this was the first time you have hesitanted about someone like this. you should use your authority and stand what you feel like whats right, you *need* to tell him that he deserves better, but god, he had you over heels after that kiss, sweating pails and tinted a lovely indigo. you'll go on a date first, then you'll break the news. but for now, you should calm your body from the excitement of seeing your now and soon ex matesprit.
you are now TAVROS NITRAM.
and to the gods you are over hooves happy to see.. er. text, your newly matesprit, equius, you already planned to hang with equius, since he went silent you had been left to yearn for things and now you can finally express your needs, you just cant wait to talk to him in person, you read up a lot about what matesprits do and your curious if they'd work on equius, it would be great to see him all blushing, for three weeks you hadn't stop thinking about the confidence you held in that car, and it spurs you on to have more of that newly found confidence for equius and your relationship with him. you snap to reality to realize that you were zoning out, you curse softly at yourself and continued to message equius.
-
AT: iTS OKAY,,
AT: iM JUST GLAD TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN,,
AT: }:)
AT: dO YOU THINK WE COULD GO ON A,, dATE?
AT: lIKE AT A BEACH OR SOMETHING,,
CT: D--> I'd enjoy that quite a bit.
CT: D--> I have been missing talking to you as well.
AT: hAHAH,,
AT: yOUR ROMANTIC IN YOUR ODD WAY }:)
AT: nOT THAT I HATE THAT YOU DO THAT,, i LIKE IT!
CT: D--> Good.
CT: D--> I like how foward you startrd the chat.
CT: D--> "Mi amor" is a name of affection, correct?
AT: yEAH,, i THOUGHT IT FIT YOU,,
AT: cAUSE YOU KNOW,,
AT: iT MEANS MY LOVE,, aND YOUR MY MATESPRIT,,
CT: D--> Yes, I get it.
CT: D--> Though, I didn't know it meant that
CT: D--> You calling me "my love" makes me.
CT: D--> Sweat quite a bit
AT: iS,,
AT: tHAT A GOOD THING?
AT: iT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD THING,,
CT: D--> Mayhaps it is.
you are smiling like an idiot, from ear to ear with glee, you've never had something make you this happy and giddy from just texting them, the more you text him the more you wanna read him like a book, you want to be there for him and hear and heal all his troubles, and kiss his darn face! only if he wasn't so sweaty, though it doesn't bother you much. you quickly get up - and regretting it, because your vision goes static-ey for a good solid minute, but the moment it stopped you began to gather your stuff, your cane, a picnic basket, and your second favorite blanket. plus a couple of trinkets and bracelets you had made for your matesprits, you quickly went to where your laptop rest and checked your messages
CT: D--> What kind of date you you plan to go on with me.
CT: D--> So i know what to bring.
AT: a PICNIC,, mI AMOR,
AT: i GOT MOST MY STUFF READY,,
AT: lIKE MY CANE,, aND SNACKS,,
AT: yOU CAN BRING YOUR OWN LET YOU BRING YOUR OWN STUFFSNACKS IF WANTED,,
AT: i DONT KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE TO EAT SO I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I YOU BROUGHT YOUR OWN,,
CT: D--> That is a good idea.
CT: D--> I will bring food of my own.
CT: D--> Would you like me to pick you up in my four wheeled device?
AT: tHAT WOULD BE NICE }:)
CT: D--> I will see you.
-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT] --
you sit patiently in front of your hive, looking at the cars passing by till you saw the unmistakable indigo car pulled up, it took a while but equius was here, you got up, slowly this time, you don't want to collapse in front of equius. that would be embarrassing, you greet the taller troll with a warm smile, you lean onto your cane for support.
"hI EQUIUS,," you greeted equius, with a loving tone, making tint indigo.
"D--> Hello there. nitram" he stuttered a bit as he walked you to the passenger, opening the door and taking your basket and tossing it in the back. he got into the driver seat and sat there for a moment, steeling himself before he drove
"D--> Is the temperature fine in my four wheeled device?" he asked as he gently put his hands onto the wheel. already sweating and attempting to control his strength.
YOU ARE NOW EQUIUS ZAHHAK
and to be honest you feel lightheaded from the fact tavros' voice bounce around your thinkpan, you'd never thought someone sound to loving towards you out of all people to love, and ir made you feel more guilty for taking up tavros' flush quadrant, yu definitely do not deserve him and it will linger forever and ever. he puts a hand on your shoulder and you jump, your muscles flexing slightly.
"aRE YOU OKAY?,, i CAN SEE THE NERVOUSNESS ON YOUR FACE,, aND,, yOUR SHAKING" tavros frowned at this revolution, making a shiver crawl up your back, it burned with bitter and angry feelings.
"D--> I do not know what you mean." you said with a rough tone, one you'd use on tavros when you saw him lower classed, he slowly took his hand away and you swear you saw tears dwell up in his eyes.
"D--> I...i mean. I. have been feeling. indifferent." you could've worded it better but you cannot think properly
"oH,, wELL IM WILLING TO LISTEN TO YOU,, yKNOW, tALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL" tavros looked at you with shiny eyes. he was too willing. too weak.
"D--> Are you sure? I was gonna wait till the end of o..our. date." you admitted, making tavros nervous of it was, he couldn't get a word out, just nodding and you prepared yourself for whatyou wre gonna say.
"D--> Nitram. I, mean, tavros. I do believe that. our matesprits should end." you mumbled, glancing at tavros to see the hurt look in his eyes, he just sat there for a couple of moments and lookd into his lap, fidgeting with some loose thread.
"oKAY,," he sounded hurt. no. defeated. betrayed, and now you feel like an asshole, selfish for doing what you did
"D--> I do not believe this would work between us. It was.. it is simply not right for us to be in a quadrant. I have pushed my authority with being moirails with nepeta. it is already wrong for me to be with her pale wise, it. it is not right for a high blood to date a lowblood." your words come out bitter and rude, like its spewing out against your control. you sat in the thick quiet tension. you could hear tavros crying softly before he let out one sigh and looked at you. his cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were a bit swollen.
"uH,, wHY?" he chokes out, a utterly useless question. "dID YOU UH,, lIE ABOUT LIKING ME? i KINDA,, fEEL LIKE YOU DID THIS TO,, hUMILIATE ME,," he held in mewls as he spoke.
"D--> I would not lie..nitram." you spoke lowly. this now puzzled tavros.
"tHEN WHY ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?,," he asked curiously. making you slip up.
"D--> I. the real reason i do not believe we wouldn't work is that. I. believe you deserve better." you put your head on the steering wheel, feeling utterly weak, you whisper to yourself to gather yourself. tavros looked over to you and thought to himself how he could cheer you up and continue, to be your matesprit, but for now, he pressed a hand to your cheek, rubbing it gently and gestured you too look at him, where he held your face in both his hand, and you melted fast, he ran his fingers through your hair and scratched that small piece of skin behind your ears and quickly erupted a purr from you. making