Chapter Text
Eat you whole
“What?” Yelena scans the dark room, lifting her head from the pillow. The words were barely audible, as if from another room and she considers that is likely the case. Maybe Bucky watching TV. She settles back down, staring up into darkness.
She had endured sensory deprivation in the Red Room, where all she knew was blackness and the sound of her own blood. Her own thoughts. She had sung her favourite song, over and over until her voice grew hoarse.
Bye-Bye Miss American Pie…this’ll be the day that I die…that I die
She closes her eyes and turns on her side, wishing that she had the warmth of someone else to share.
He’d burst into flames if I asked him…
She smiles intro her pillow imagining Bob’s wide eyes and badly concealed pleasure. Velvety darkness sinks into a dream and in that liminal space she almost feels him.
Please don’t go
Yelena stares up at a night sky dazzling with stars. The Milky Way. Frowning she sits up, hands sinking into sand and stares at the stretch of dark sea before her. She can only hear the waves, smell the water. She turns and sees a figure leaving a hut on the beach. A woman?
This is a dream… Her legs are bare, in the grey t-shirt she fell asleep in. The sand under foot is soft and warm. It feels real.
A memory? She had stayed over night in a hut on a beach near Kuala Lumpur. Her and a guineapig.
The woman disappears into the night and Yelena walks towards the hut, where a faint glow shines through a window. It is the same, she is sure. She pushes the door ajar and slips inside.
The room is almost pitch dark but for a dying candle by the window. It casts the man lying on the bed in perfect silhouette.
“Bob?” she whispers just as she realises that he is naked, lying on his stomach. She looks away and sees a bong on the table next to the candle, along with numerous beers and condoms. Keeping her gaze away from the bed, she steps back, her stomach writhing.
He paid for her. Pathetic, huh?
Yelena inhales sharply, smelling sweat and sex. The voice, low and deep, echoes through her head. She closes her eyes, willing herself to wake up when his – it’s voice – chuckles.
This is not a dream…look at me
Yelena, who should open the door and run, turns. The Void is now sat at the end of the bed before her, head cocked. The candle should illuminate him but it seems to soak in. The pin prick of light in his eyes lets her knows that he is staring at her.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, voice steady. “You shouldn’t be here. We defeated you.”
I’m deathless…you can’t kill nothing
Yelena shakes her head and looks around, looking for any signs of Bob. “Where is he?”
Asleep…he dreams of you, all things he can’t say, all the things he won’t do, he pushes down to me. It is…relentless. The Void stands and she moves until the door is at her back. It shuts with a click.
“Don’t,” she snaps as he stops inches from her. She has no idea what will happen if he touches her. She has the impression of his lips – Bob’s – curling.
Do you know what he wants to do to you? In that attic, on a dirty mattress like that one, tied to a bed.
“I’m not listening to you.”
Yes you are. His breath, strangely hot, plays over her ear. Yelena lifts her chin, bares her teeth.
“You think the things you say will scare me? Durak, you’re literally nothing.”
No…you’re no stranger to me. I felt you and you felt me down in the earth. You are here for me – not him - and it eats him up. He resents it.
“That’s not true. He knows I care for him.”
Now who’s the fool…he knows that one day he’ll ruin everything, you’ll see the light and realise that you are wasting your time on him. He can give you nothing but disappointment.
She shakes her head in defiance and slips to the left and ducks down but with a move he has her pressed against the door. The hope that he is intangible here, that his darkness has no weight is dashed. His body is flush against her own, naked and hard. She can feel his sweat under her palms, heat but nothing else. Heartless. Her back slides up the door until they are eye level.
“Let me go.”
You’re in here now, forever, he made sure of that. He can’t let you go and you’ll come to hate him and the whole world will become nothing. I’ll swallow you whole.
Tears spring up in her eyes, chokes her throat and the Void moans and buries his face in her neck. His tongue – too hot – travels up her skin, tasting her tears and then pulls down on her t-shirt to press his mouth to the dip of her clavicle. She had called the void enticing and the pull is sticky, dirty and all over her. She throbs for it, could wallow in his hands and never surface again. She grips his hair, pulling and the Void suddenly picks her up and flings her onto the bed. Her back barely touches the mattress before she springs up and rolls onto the ground. She cannot give up.
He laughs, now standing before the window. The candle is out but she can still see his figure surrounded by light. The sun.
“Bob?!” she yells, heart hammering in her chest.
No one is coming, he can’t help you…but I can. I know you want to give in, give yourself up to me. When the end comes Yelena, it’ll be just us…I promise.
“No!”
Sunshine glares into her eyes and she throws her hand up.
“Yelena? I think you were having a nightmare,” a soft, gentle voice says and she turns to Bob standing in the doorway. She sits up, getting her bearings. She is in her room with a view of a drizzly New York to her right. She turns to Bob, who is in a t shirt and sweatpants. Clothed.
“Is it you?”
“Uh – yeah. I didn’t wanna wake you, I heard people can have heart attacks if you wake them from nightmares.”
Yelena frowns and looks down at her lap. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah,” he shrugs and tilts his head. “Why?”
“Nothing. Uh – I’m gonna shower,” she says and Bob steps back, nodding his head in understanding.
“Got it.”
Yelena feels her chest squeeze at the sight of him leaving but how can she look at him with the other’s heat over her? The dark throb still beating inside? Groaning she throws the covers back and freezes. Sand covers her feet.
“O Bozhe!”