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Tanjiro is Giyuu’s favorite person.

It’s a well known fact— Tanjiro is so, so precious to Giyuu. He’s like a little brother, a ray of sunshine so bright it took ages for Giyuu to look, but now he can’t look away. He’s sweet, polite, has a gentleness that personifies water breathing so perfectly Giyuu feels drawn to him. Tanjiro never teases him for his withdrawn personality, never forces him to talk or be happy like he is, and Giyuu appreciates that.

Giyuu appreciates Tanjiro so much, but there’s just one problem.

Giyuu has another. There’s a tie, a close race in Giyuu’s brain that constantly plagues him— Giyuu has another favorite person, one that is unexpected and would be considered strange to most if it wasn’t such a secret. It’s a secret. Giyuu’s favoritism is hidden— tucked away in his bedsheets or in quiet moments when no one is around. It’s only for him, for them to gaze upon, and Giyuu likes it that way.

Giyuu likes Sanemi, a lot. He likes him so much, but Tanjiro doesn’t.

The hatred between Tanjiro and Sanemi is obvious, blistering and painful. They barely speak, can barely even look at each other if they’re both in the same room, which has become more common as Tanjiro has climbed the ranks of the corps. Giyuu heard through the grapevine— Tengen, ever the gossiper— that they got into a huge fight during training, which led to Sanemi permanently banning Tanjiro from the Wind Estate. It’s a nasty, ongoing battle. They can’t stand each other.

His two favorite people hating each other. Just his luck.

Giyuu doesn’t want to keep his relationship a secret forever. If there’s one person he wants to tell, it’s Tanjiro, but he can’t. He’s pretty sure he would have a stroke, and Giyuu doesn’t want anything related to Sanemi to kill Tanjiro. He feels guilty— guilty for holding this information back when Tanjiro has been so good to him, guilty for forcing Sanemi into the dark. This vicious cycle, a collapsing orbit circling around him, is closing slowly, because sooner or later, they’ll be caught, and if Tanjiro finds out from someone other than him, he’ll hate himself forever.

Giyuu rubs at his forehead. Why do relationships have to be so complicated?

Sanemi hums into the space between his neck and shoulder, kissing the skin there with rough teeth, and Giyuu exhales, fingers digging into his haori.

“Stop thinking so fucking hard,” Sanemi grunts against him. Giyuu can feel his hands as they run down his sides, chills following the path he’s creating as Giyuu arches into him.

“Sorry,” Giyuu says softly, turning his head to look at Sanemi. His white hair falls in front of his eyes a bit, choppy and wild like he’s been caught up in a windstorm. More buttons on his uniform are undone than normal, giving Giyuu the perfect view of his sculpted chest and chiseled abs. His face heats up at the notion that this beautiful man is laying on top of him in his bed, kissing him and touching him because Giyuu belongs to him.

Sanemi leans forward and presses their lips together again, smooth and precise, and Giyuu whines from the back of his throat as Sanemi swallows the sound. They kiss heavily, hotly, Sanemi untucking Giyuu’s uniform top from his pants so he can touch Giyuu’s skin with his cold fingertips— the contact makes Giyuu moan even louder. Their tongues meet, Sanemi’s mouth completely overtaking his own as he licks into Giyuu’s.

When he pulls back, a string of saliva follows his mouth, and Giyuu can only stare.

“What’s wrong?” Sanemi asks, licking his lips. Giyuu’s eyes trace the movement.

“Nothing,” Giyuu answers, voice so breathless he hardly recognizes it. He’s not really thinking about Tanjiro anymore, not after Sanemi has begun to devour him. “Kiss me again, please.”

Sanemi grips his hips tightly, like he’s aiming to bruise— Giyuu wouldn’t be opposed. He wants Sanemi on him like a second-skin, permanently etched into every single cell in his body if it means he can keep him forever.

“You kill me,” Sanemi says, biting into his neck again. He sucks on his skin, bursting his blood vessels apart at their seams. His hips rock into Giyuu’s. “I can’t get enough of you.”

“Mmn,” Giyuu whines, pulling him closer. He’s not close enough. “Want you all the time.”

Sanemi’s fingers trail up his shirt, brushing over his nipples, and Giyuu squirms as he exhales, “Fuck, Giyuu. Giyuu.”

“Kiss me,” Giyuu begs, grabbing his face. “Kiss me, Sanemi. I—”

“Mr. Tomioka?” A voice rings out from outside of the room. Both Giyuu and Sanemi’s heads sharply turn to the door.

Sanemi hisses, “Who the fuck is here? It’s your day off.”

“Tanjiro,” Giyuu says, out of breath. He sits up, pushing Sanemi off of him. “He visits me sometimes.”

Sanemi rolls his eyes. “I fucking hate that brat. Just ignore him until he goes away.”

“Mr. Tomioka? Mr. Tomioka?” Tanjiro’s voice echoes. “I know you’re in there!”

Giyuu looks at his boyfriend incredulously. He just doesn't get it. “Tanjiro won’t leave. He’ll force his way in if I don’t answer the door.”

“What?” Sanemi scoffs as Giyuu grabs his arm, pulling them both off the bed. “Why the fuck are you just letting him in? Set some fucking boundaries, Giyuu.”

Giyuu opens the door to his closet and turns to Sanemi. “I will. Later.”

“Are you fucking joking?” Sanemi asks, eyes shifting from the closet to Giyuu, and then back to the closet like it’s personally offended him. “I’m not going in there.”

Giyuu just blinks. “Yes, you are.”

“That nuisance interrupted us!” Sanemi exclaims as Giyuu pushes him toward the doors. “Don’t do this. Why am I being punished?”

Giyuu’s eyes narrow. “Can we please talk about this later? I don’t want to be caught. And stop calling him names, please.”

“I don’t want to go in your fucking closet,” Sanemi says. He steps backward into it anyway, and Giyuu holds the door handles. “I hate you.”

“I hate you too,” Giyuu says. He leans forward and kisses his lips slowly, savoring the taste of Sanemi since he has no idea how long this will take. “Now be quiet.”

“You fucking—” Sanemi’s voice is cut off by Giyuu slamming the doors shut, with perfect timing because Tanjiro decides to barge through the door at the exact same moment.

“Hey!” he says brightly, a smile on his face. Giyuu subtly readjusts his uniform so it’s no longer askew on his body, making sure the collar is popped. Stupid Sanemi loves to bite. “You weren’t answering the door, so I made my way inside. I hope you don’t mind!”

Giyuu shakes his head, even though he definitely minds this time. “It’s fine. It’s nice to see you.”

“You too! I had so many back to back missions that it’s been a while!” Tanjiro exclaims. He holds out a bag. “I brought you a bento box! Freshly made!”

Giyuu takes it carefully, managing a small smile as payment. “Thank you. You didn’t have to come all the way here just to give me this, though.”

“Of course I did! I wanted to see you!” Tanjiro laughs, grinning from ear to ear. Giyuu’s pent up frustration melts away in an instant— Tanjiro is just so precious. “I have to get back to Ms. Kocho’s now, though. I left Nezuko with Inosuke, and he keeps trying to teach her bad words.”

Giyuu huffs out a laugh as he waves Tanjiro off. The boy has a way of brightening Giyuu’s day, the space in his home livening the moment he steps inside. He is magical, and even if his timing is poor, Giyuu still loves him.

He shuts the door to his bedroom, and Sanemi comes stumbling out of the closet, clothes still in disarray, glaring and angry. “That fucking kid.”

“Be nice,” Giyuu says, setting the bag down on the edge of his bed. He peels it open and pulls out a box, steaming and warm. “He brought us food.”

Sanemi rolls his eyes. “He brought you food. I had to hide in the closet.”

Giyuu grabs his chopsticks. “Are you going to keep complaining about that?”

“Yes! You shoved me in your closet,” Sanemi groans. Giyuu just stares at him as he opens the box. “Wait, are you actually eating now? We were in the middle of something.”

Giyuu hums, “I’m hungry. We can have sex later.”

Sanemi huffs, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I fucking hate that kid.”

Giyuu just reaches forward, feeding him a piece of fish with his chopsticks. Sanemi opens his mouth begrudgingly.

Relationships. So incredibly difficult.

A few weeks have passed when Giyuu finds himself back at the mansion, dragging his feet. It’s been a long month. A hashira meeting brings him here, which is usually the only reason Giyuu is in this area. Most of the hashira are a bit too overwhelming for him, and he tries avoiding Sanemi in group situations to make sure their relationship isn’t too obvious.

When he steps inside, he realizes he’s the last to arrive, as usual. The others are spread out around the room, and Giyuu is immediately drawn to Sanemi, who is sitting in his normal spot softly talking to Obanai. When they make eye contact, because Sanemi is drawn to him too, he gets a glare in return. He knows he doesn’t mean it. Giyuu is sure he’ll make it up to him later.

“Mr. Tomioka!” Tanjiro’s voice rings out behind him. Giyuu turns, surprised that he’s here. “Hi! Nice to see you!”

“Tanjiro,” Giyuu greets him gently, confused. No wonder Sanemi was glaring. “What are you doing here?”

Tanjiro smiles at him, “The Master invited me to today's meeting. I guess he wants me to update everyone on Nezuko’s progress. It’s such an honor to be with the hashira!”

“Uh, yeah,” Giyuu says, blinking.

“Well, most of them,” Tanjiro says. He takes a seat, and Giyuu sits next to him, folding his hands in his lap. “I swear Shinazugawa has been giving me dirty looks for the past few weeks, even more than usual! I don’t dislike a lot of things, but he’s definitely one of them! So rude!”

Tanjiro is pouting now, and Giyuu has this urge to pinch his cheeks to get him to smile again. Frowning doesn't look natural on him.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” Giyuu hums softly. The other hashira begin to settle around them. “That’s just his face.”

Tanjiro huffs, “He’s so mean.”

“Yes,” Giyuu agrees. He likes him anyway, so much.

“My children,” the Master, Ubuyashiki, says calmly. Giyuu bows his head to the floor and the rest of the room does the same. “Please, lift your heads. It is good to see you all doing well here today.”

Gyomei, the usual spokesperson, hums from the back, “You as well, Master.”

“Thank you, Gyomei,” Ubuyashiki replies happily. “I have gathered you all here today for a few reasons. First, Tanjiro Kamado has joined us today.”

Tanjiro gives the room a small wave. “Hello! It is an honor to be here.”

Giyuu sees Sanemi roll his eyes. He internally sighs.

“I have an important mission to send two of you on, if you would like,” the Master continues. “ It is very difficult, but because it is involved with the mountainous region in the north, I would like you to go, Giyuu.”

Giyuu blinks. He’s had a lot of experience living in the mountains when he trained, so he is well suited for the job. He bows his head for a moment, exhaling. “It would be an honor, master. I will do my best.”

Ubuyashiki smiles at him. “Thank you, Giyuu. Your help is much appreciated. Would anyone else volunteer to join him?”

The next few things happen so fast Giyuu barely has time to process them. Tanjiro begins to raise his hand, clearly looking to claim himself as Giyuu’s partner, which Giyuu wouldn’t mind. Tanjiro is very thorough, a good fighter, and he has a clear understanding of Giyuu’s breathing style. But it won’t work out, because Sanemi’s voice rings through the room first, loud and with distinct haste.

“I’ll volunteer,” he says, looking at the Master. Tanjiro’s hand slowly falls back down.

Obanai looks at him like he’s grown two heads. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Shut up,” Sanemi hisses back at him. “The Master chose him for the mission and I want to prove that I’m better than him. That’s all.”

Sanemi is a great liar. He honestly sounds perfectly convincing. Giyuu’s head lowers so the room can’t see him blushing. He can hear Obanai whisper, “But you have to spend time with him if you do that.”

“It’s fucking worth it,” Sanemi whispers back.

“Sanemi,” Ubuyashiki hums. The two of them snap out of their bickering. “Thank you. The two of you will make a good team. I will speak to you privately after the meeting. Now, our next order of business…”

Giyuu zones out after that, his mind going beyond the meeting and to something much more urgent. He can feel Tanjiro looking at him. fidgeting beside him every few seconds, like he wants to say something but is battling himself about it. Giyuu understands him perfectly— how does he celebrate getting some time with Sanemi without making it too obvious? How does he comfort Tanjiro without making himself feel bad?

How should he tell Tanjiro the truth?

His head hurts from all the overthinking he’s been doing, and when the meeting ends, he doesn’t realize until Tanjiro tugs at the sleeve of his haori. He blinks over at him. “Oh.”

“I wanted to go with you, Mr. Tomioka,” Tanjiro says, kind of breathless. He sounds disappointed, and Giyuu’s heart sinks. “It’s been so long since we got to fight together. I wanted to show you how hard I’ve been training.”

Giyuu manages a small smile. Tanjiro is so genuine— he’s pretty sure he’s the only one that likes going on missions with Giyuu, besides Sanemi for reasons that don’t involve fighting demons. He wants to tell him so badly, wants to blurt out the words, sorry Tanjiro, Sanemi is my boyfriend and so he’s being territorial, but he can’t do it. They lodge in his throat, sticky and thick, and so he swallows them back down before he makes a mess of this entire thing.

“It’s okay. Next time,” Giyuu hums softly. “I’m sure you’ve been working hard.”

“I just don’t understand,” Tanjiro thinks out loud. His head tilts like it normally does when he’s pondering over something. “I thought Shinazugawa didn’t like you?”

Giyuu blinks, biting his lip. Unless Sanemi sticks his tongue down the throat of all his enemies, he’s definitely in the clear. “Like he said, he just wants to be better than me. And he’s trying to impress our Master.”

“But—”

A hand comes up the back of his collar, pulling him to his feet. “Get up, Tomioka. Stop wasting the Master’s time.”

Giyuu looks up at Sanemi, who seems distinctly angry. “Right, sorry.”

Tanjiro stands too, frowning. “Stop touching Mr. Tomioka like that! And stop being mean to him.”

“Watch your fucking mouth, brat,” Sanemi spits, his fingers tightening in back of Giyuu’s haori. “I can do whatever the fuck I want. Don’t test my patience and go back home to that ugly demon sister of yours.”

Giyuu huffs. Here we go. Tanjiro reaches for the hilt of his sword, because a war is coming. “Don’t talk about my sister that way! And let Mr. Tomioka go!”

“Fuck off, runt, or I’ll—”

“Shinazugawa,” Giyuu says dryly, and Sanemi lets go of him. He exhales, looking at Tanjiro, “It’s okay, Tanjiro. I’m fine. I do need to go talk to the Master, though, so he was right to come get me.”

Tanjiro pouts, but backs off. “Okay. As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Giyuu repeats, lifting a hand to fluff up Tanjiro’s reddish hair. Tanjiro seems to preen at the attention, like a stray cat, and he laughs softly, “Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

He leaves Tanjiro and walks over where the Master waits, Sanemi close behind him.

“If that kid gets in my path to you again, I’ll kill him,” Sanemi whispers in his ear.

Giyuu hums, “Please, be nice. He’s just confused. He was going to volunteer.”

“As if I’d let that shit happen,” Sanemi huffs. Their shoulders brush. It’s a good thing the other hashira have cleared out by now. “You’re mine.”

Giyuu flushes at that, shaking his head. “That I am.”

The mission is a success, and if they spend a few extra days hiding away in a random mountain town, that’s no one’s business but theirs.

“Giyuu,” a voice softly calls out for him. Giyuu can see nothing but darkness, unwilling to wake himself up from his peaceful slumber. He burrows himself closer to his heat source, and he hears a heavy sigh in retaliation. “Yuu, we have to get up.”

Giyuu shakes his head. He’s so comfortable, too comfortable, and that’s a rarity that he can hardly ever find, so he wants to keep it. He wants to stay here forever, in bed, cuddled up against Sanemi Shinazugawa because it’s everything. There is so much chaos, between fighting and training and battling for peace, and Giyuu just wants this so badly, if it’s fleeting or if it’s permanent. Just one more second in Sanemi’s arms. Just one more.

He feels a kiss on his forehead. All the tension leaves his body. “Sweetheart. We have mandatory training today.”

Giyuu turns his head so that his cheek hits his pillow. His eyes slowly peel open, and pale purple is already looking intently at him, studying him like he’s something worthy of such effort. Sanemi smiles, brushing a strand of Giyuu’s hair out of his face. “Hey, sleepy.”

“Hi,” Giyuu says softly. He blushes under Sanemi’s gaze. “Sorry.”

Sanemi hums, “Don’t be sorry. You look beautiful like this, in the morning.”

Giyuu gasps a bit at the words, and then he grumbles, “Just in the morning?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Sanemi says. He presses another warm kiss to the top of Giyuu’s head before he sits up. Without a shirt, every battle scar he has is displayed for his personal viewing— they gleam in the sunlight, his tanned skin dripping in gold. Giyuu has this urge to reach up and touch, and because they’re the only two people in the world, he does. His fingertips graze Sanemi’s chest, and Sanemi looks down at him amused.

“Pretty,” Giyuu says, words slurring a bit. “Don’t go.”

Sanemi grabs his hand, kisses at his fingertips. “You know I’m not going anywhere that you can’t follow.”

He lets Giyuu’s hand go and slides out of bed. Giyuu forces himself to do the same, and they silently get ready for the day together. Being in a relationship is so hard sometimes, so foreign to someone like Giyuu, who feels he is so undeserving of this, but these moments make it easy.

Sanemi kisses him, and the moment is so simple. He hands Giyuu his pack and sword, and Giyuu secures it on his hip before kissing him again.

“You go first,” Sanemi says against his lips. Giyuu curls his fingers in white strands. “It’ll be suspicious if we get there at the same time.”

Giyuu connects their mouths once more, pulling back breathlessly. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”

“Later,” Sanemi exhales, and Giyuu forces himself out of the Wind Estate before his restraint fails him. He rushes off to the training grounds, moving as fast as he can so he isn’t actually late— Shinobu will kill him if he is, and he’s trying to get better about being on time.

When he arrives, most of the others are already there, along with Tanjiro, who’s talking to Muichiro softly. He spots Giyuu and waves him over, and Muichiro blinks at the pair of them before moving to where Gyomei is standing, seemingly giving them space.

“Mr. Tomioka!” Tanjiro exclaims. “How lovely to see you! Ms. Kanroji invited me to training today. I’ll work hard!”

“I’m sure you will,” Giyuu says. No wonder Obanai looks so pissed off. “I didn’t know you and Kanroji were friends.”

Tanjiro beams, “Oh, we’re great friends! I respect her a lot, and she’s always feeding me yummy foods! Mr. Iguro keeps threatening me about it, though, which makes it a bit less fun.”

Giyuu hums, “He is rather protective of her. Don’t take it too personally.”

“I won’t!” Tanjiro says. “Ms. Kocho wants us to get into pairs. Do you want to be my partner?”

Sanemi isn’t here yet, not that they would partner up willingly anyway, not in a situation like this. There isn’t really anyone else Giyuu would want to work with, so he nods. “Sure, what are we doing?”

“Just basic sword drills,” Tanjiro explains, pulling out his sword. The black blade gleams in the light.

Suddenly, he’s pushed over a bit, as Sanemi brushes past him. He makes his presence known to Giyuu, who internally smiles at seeing him again, but keeps himself neutral. The rough touch lights him up inside, and he already misses Sanemi’s warmth.

Tanjiro huffs, not sharing in his glee. “Watch where you’re walking!”

Sanemi just flicks him off as he walks over to Obanai. Giyuu takes a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” Tanjiro asks, a bit wide-eyed. “That didn’t hurt, right? He’s such a jerk!”

Giyuu nods, and unsheaths his sword, “I”m fine, Tanjiro. Let’s just start drills.”

But Tanjiro isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s looking at the sword in Giyuu’s hand, the one that usually has a burgundy and yellow hilt, tinted a brilliant shade of blue. Today, though, it’s green, and has eight black edges at its base. This is not his sword.

Shit. His hands shake a bit, eyes widening as he realizes.

“Isn’t that Shinazugawa’s sword?” Tanjiro asks softly, voice wavering.

“Uh,” Giyuu says. He closes his eyes before looking at the sword again, to make sure he’s not hallucinating. Nope, it’s still there. He’s so screwed. “Uh.”

Tanjiro looks at him with the most innocent, perplexed face. “Mr. Tomioka?”

“Uh,” Giyuu says again. He can’t seem to find any words. He can’t do anything in this situation— his sword got switched with Sanemi’s in the giddy moment this morning, and he’s stuck. “I— Uh—”

“Tomioka,” Sanemi stomps over to him. He looks pissed, but beneath that there’s something deeper— fear, and a touch of amusement. Giyuu is going to kill him. “Why the fuck are you stealing my shit? I don’t want this ugly sword.”

He shoves Giyuu’s sword into his chest before taking his own back. Giyuu is a bit stunned. “Oh, uh, haha. It was just a harmless prank.”

“You prank people?” Tanjiro asks. “I didn’t know that.”

Giyuu blinks at him. “Yeah. It’s a new thing I’m trying. Didn’t seem to work.”

Tanjiro frowns, “Well, you can’t prank someone as miserable as him. Next time, we can get Inosuke. He loves a good prank, though he might try to fight you after.”

“Right. I’ll… keep that in mind,” Giyuu says. He turns to Sanemi, “Sorry.”

“You should be,” Sanemi huffs. “Stupid fucking idiot.”

He walks back over to Obanai before Tanjiro can say anything this time, which Giyuu is grateful for. He can see Obanai’s confused face in the distance, but Giyuu doesn’t care about that. Something so simple could’ve given them away, in front of Tanjiro of all people. His head is spinning. He’s grateful Sanemi is so quick on his feet, otherwise that could’ve been a disaster.

Tanjiro raises his sword. “I hate him. I don’t know how you can put up with that.”

Giyuu licks his lips, raising his too.

He really can’t tell Tanjiro, and it’s eating him up inside.

Their swords clash, and Giyuu feels it in his heart.

And later, Sanemi makes it up to him with countless kisses and softly uttered apologies. It’s his fault, after all— he handed Giyuu the sword. Giyuu isn’t angry anymore, just wildly confused and frustrated with himself, and he lets Sanemi worship him as a bonus way of showing how sorry he is.

And after all that, Giyuu still feels a tightness in his chest. Cold, sharp, painful.

He doesn’t know what to do.

A demon outbreak brings things to an end.

There are so many members of the corps here, some cowering and some fighting for their lives, and that’s simply because there are so many demons. He’s never seen something like this— a cesspool of filth, countless of them running around. It’s a hotspot, and as Giyuu approaches, crow leading the way, he sees two things at once.

Sanemi and Tanjiro, already here.

Tanjiro is with his friends, alright engaged in battle. Sanemi is on his own, a hoard surrounding him, and Giyuu’s feet move on their own, closer to the fight.

A demon lunges out for Sanemi’s blind spot, and Giyuu slices through its neck with ease. Sanemi turns, eyes widening as they connect. He seems grateful, but he doesn’t say it. “Oh. You’re here.”

“I am,” Giyuu says, staring at him. He’s so pretty in the sun, but in the light the moon provides, he is an entirely different, beautiful entity. He shakes the demon blood from his sword. “Where are all these demons coming from?”

“No clue,” Sanemi exhales. “There has to be a stronger one here. Maybe a lower rank?”

“I see,” Giyuu says, blinking. He takes a deep breath, preparing himself for what’s ahead. “Maybe we should—”

“Mr. Tomioka!” Tanjiro calls out, running toward them. Sanemi takes a few steps back, grumbling but giving them space. Inosuke and Zenitsu are in the distance, and they look like they’re arguing. Tanjiro takes a deep breath. “I’m glad you’re here! I can smell a powerful demon nearby. You should come with me!”

Sanemi scoffs, “You have two other slayers with you. You don’t need him.”

“You don’t need him either,” Tanjiro huffs. He reaches out to grab Giyuu’s arm, and Sanemi pulls him back at the exact same time. Giyuu stumbles a bit. “Hey! Mr. Tomioka can decide for himself!”

Giyuu feels something moving in the distance. He looks around, but it’s so dark. “Guys, I—”

“Shut up,” Sanemi tells him before looking at Tanjiro again. “You’re also telling him where the fuck to go. You’re just a little hypocrite, and you should fuck off.”

“Why should he stay with you?” Tanjiro questions, stepping forward. “You’re unkind, and mean, and you bully him!”

Sanemi rolls his eyes, and Giyuu feels it again— a chill spikes up his spine, and he tightens his grip on his sword. It feels strong, maybe that demon Tanjiro was smelling a few moments ago? But neither of them are alert now, too focused on fighting each other than the main threat, and Giyuu feels himself shrinking. He’s not sure what to say, or how to get their attention, or how to pick one of them without the other taking it the wrong way. Is this what it’s like to be loved, or to be important, or to be special? Giyuu kind of hates it— he functioned better when he didn’t have two people constantly going at it for him.

“Guys,” Giyuu says, a little louder than the first time. “I think—”

“Mr. Tomioka,” Tanjiro says, he reaches out and grabs his arm, and Giyuu is a rope between two strong players— tug of war is not his favorite game. “Please, come on. We can get the demon quickly if we’re together.”

“Tomioka and I will defeat even faster than you,” Sanemi groans in disbelief. “You’re not better than me. Disrespecting a hashira like this is a punishable offence.”

Tanjiro scoffs, “As if I care! I’m sticking up for my friend!”

Giyuu sees it move in the distance, and every nerve ending goes into alert mode.

Sanemi snarls, “Back the fuck off.”

Tanjiro glares right back, “No!”

“Guys!” Giyuu says, raising his voice, and the demon lunges— Giyuu moves so fast he doesn’t even think, forcing his body on top of Tanjiro’s to get them both out of the way. He knows Sanemi can handle himself, that he’s stronger than Giyuu in almost every way.

He hits the ground, Tanjiro under him, and he exhales as he stands up. “Are you okay?”

Tanjiro is wide-eyed, “I’m fine. Are you?”

Giyuu nods, and then he turns around and regrets the movement, regrets absolutely everything. Sanemi is standing, sword out like he’s just swung. The demon is disintegrating into thin air, but that’s not what makes Giyuu’s knees weak, no— the demon has stabbed Sanemi in the stomach with some kind of knife, still embedded in him. A blood demon art, probably, but he’s no longer thinking rationally.

He rushes forward, and Sanemi falls into his grip. “Sanemi? Sanemi!”

He can feel the quick beating of Sanemi’s heart, the fast-pace his breath has taken as he exhales against Giyuu’s neck. He’s bleeding, he’s bleeding so much that his white haori is turning red. It’s a horrible color on him, truthfully. Giyuu can feel tears running down his cheeks.

“Sanemi,” Giyuu cries out, easing him down to the grass. He puts his hands around the knife and over the wound, feeling Sanemi’s warmth in a horrible wrong way. He’s shaking so badly. “Oh, god, please. Please, no.”

Sanemi looks up at him, half-lidded, serene, and it’s wrong. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”

He hears footsteps behind him, but he doesn’t turn to look. He stares down into the purple eyes that he loves so much and weeps. “You can’t… I can’t…. Please. Don’t close your eyes.”

“Giyuu,” Sanemi says. His voice is far too quiet. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I told you I wouldn’t go anywhere you couldn’t follow.”

Tanjiro’s voice is shaky as he kneels beside Giyuu. He looks confused, as he alternates staring at Sanemi and Giyuu. Giyuu is sure he’s put the pieces together by now, but he doesn't care— Sanemi is dying.

“Ms. Kocho is on her way,” he tells Giyuu. Giyuu just cries, leaning into Sanemi more, failing to stop the bleeding. “She’s really close, I promise.”

His words ease Giyuu’s worries a bit, but not all the way— there are so many things that could go wrong. She could be too late. She could make it and it could still not be enough. He could lose Sanemi tonight, like this, powerless and fragile because Giyuu is never enough. He can’t save anyone— he can’t save Sanemi.

He does something so reckless, stupid, emotional, then, but he’s so overcome with fear that he’s not thinking anymore. He leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to Sanemi’s lips. He feels Sanemi kiss back, just for a moment. He looks so pale, and Giyuu’s forehead settles against his as he sobs, “I love you. I love you so much. I-I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t,” Sanemi says, his hand gentle on his face. He sounds so sure, and Giyuu feels the complete opposite. He hears more footsteps behind him, but the world is so blurred. “I love you too.”

He’s pulled back after that, but Tanjiro, who holds him close and lets him weep as the Kakushi come and rush Sanemi off, Shinobu close behind them.

Tanjiro, his second favorite person, hugs him tight. He doesn't let go for a long time.

Later finds him wrapped in a blanket, courtesy of Aoi, knees pressed to his chest in a chair next to Sanemi’s bedside. His eyes are swollen from all the crying he’s done, his cheeks stained pink from overexertion. He feels like he can barely move, not that he wants to— he feels like Sanemi won’t make it if he leaves, even though Shinobu told him Sanemi would make a full recovery.

It’s the closest he’s gotten to losing someone since Sabito. He thought he was over it, but he’s not— this is so scary. To love someone so much is to lose them eventually, and Giyuu can't handle it. He didn’t even realize he couldn't handle it. He doesn’t want to live without Sanemi, not in this life or the next. Seeing him hurt like that was terrifying, more than any demon he’s ever encountered, more than anything he’s ever faced before.

And now he rests. He looks so young, so calm. His bandages are covered by his own creamy blanket. The color has returned to his face, his hair soft and sweeping against his forehead. Giyuu is too scared to touch him, so he wraps his arms around his legs and watches over him in silence.

It’s not silent for long. Tanjiro sits beside him and hands him a mug. He looks a bit weary. “It’s tea.”

“Thank you,” Giyuu says, taking the mug. It’s warm, not too hot. He takes a slow sip, and continues to stare.

Tanjiro hums, their shoulders brushing, “I’m glad he’s going to be okay.”

Giyuu nods, still on edge. “Me too.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tanjiro asks softly, looking at him. “I didn’t realize… You said you love him?”

“I do,” Giyuu exhales. He takes another sip of his tea. It’s far easier than having this conversation. “We’ve been together for almost a year now.”

Tanjiro’s eyes widen. “And you didn’t say anything?”

Giyuu just shrugs. “I didn’t think I could. You hate him, and I can’t handle my brother and boyfriend hating each other. It was easier to keep it a secret.”

Tanjiro blinks, flushed. “Brother?”

“You know you’re like family, Tanjiro. You and Nezuko,” Giyuu sighs. He sets the mug down, no longer thirsty, no longer deserving of something Tanjiro so preciously made him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It was selfish of me.”

Tanjiro shakes his head, “No, I’m sorry. I made this more difficult for you, but it shouldn’t be that way. Loving someone should be easy and I’m sorry I hindered that.”

Giyuu smiles softly, “You didn’t. It was my choice.”

“I don’t hate him,” Tanjiro says in return. Giyuu’s face scrunches in confusion. “Sure, he is frustrating and mean, and kind of horrible. At first, I just wanted to help him and Genya, and he was so unreceptive that it made me upset. I’ve never met anyone like him, but I don’t hate him. I don’t think I can hate anyone, except for some of the demons, and even then I find myself lacking hate most of the time.”

Giyuu laughs. He feels himself tearing up again. “Tanjiro. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Tanjiro says. He leans over and hugs Giyuu. “And if he makes you happy, then I’m happy for you. A lot of stuff makes way more sense now!”

Giyuu blinks at him, “Like what?”

“Like your prank,” Tanjiro says knowingly. Giyuu blushes in embarrassment. “You don't know how to prank people! You barely even interact with people most of the time.”

“Whatever. I had to be quick on my feet, and that’s all I could come up with,” Giyuu grumbles, which makes Tanjiro laugh. He feels so much lighter now. “I'm glad you know. It's lifted a weight off me.”

“Me too,” Tanjiro sighs. His face turns serious. “But you're too good for him, just so you know.”

A voice enters their conversation, gravely and thick, “You talk too much, brat.”

Giyuu gasps, eyes widening as he looks over at the bed, where Sanemi’s already looking over at him. He feels himself tearing up again, because Sanemi is okay. He’s beautiful and awake and alive, and Giyuu has never felt so much relief all at once.

“Sanemi,” Giyuu exhales, getting choked up. He reaches out, and Sanemi’s hand comes from under the blanket to meet him. A tear escapes, running down his cheek.

Sanemi smiles gently at him, “I told you I’d be okay, sweetheart. You got all worried for nothing.”

Giyuu just shakes his head, squeezing Sanemi’s hand to make sure this is real. He’s real.

Tanjiro stands. “I’m going to get going.”

Giyuu looks up at him, “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’m glad you’re okay,” Tanjiro says, addressing Giyuu and then Sanemi. It’s the first nice thing he’s heard Tanjiro say to him, and it makes him feel content until Tanjiro’s eyes darken. “But if you ever hurt Mr. Tomioka I will personally end your life, slowly and painfully like you deserve. Have a nice recovery!”

Sanemi blinks as Tanjiro bounds off and out of the infirmary. He turns to look at Giyuu, “Did he just threaten me?”

Giyuu laughs softly, “He did.”

“That brat.” Sanemi lets go of his hand and lifts the edge of the blanket, showing off a perfectly sized space next to him. “Come here. You won’t hurt me.”

“I could,” Giyuu says, biting his cheek.

“You won’t,” Sanemi asserts, and Giyuu crawls himself into Sanemi’s space because he was meant for it. He drops the blanket over him and wraps an arm around Giyuu’s waist, pulling them closer together. “You’re upset.”

Giyuu shakes his head, nuzzling into Sanemi’s neck. His hand gently caresses its way to the center of his chest, to feel his heartbeat. It’s normal now, and so beautiful to touch. “I’m okay, now. I’m happy. I was so scared.”

“I know. Never seen you act like that,” Sanemi sighs, his cheek pressing into the top of Giyuu’s head. “I’m not that weak, Yuu. Some stupid blood demon art isn’t going to kill me.”

Giyuu makes himself small. “Sorry.”

“No, I—” Sanemi exhales, his hand making gentle circles on Giyuu’s hip. “I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m going to be okay. I’m not going to leave you.”

Giyuu sits up a bit to look at him, deep into those purple eyes that he adores so much. His fingertips brush the scar on Sanemi’s nose. “Do you promise?”

“I promise. I love you so much. Too much,” Sanemi says, and Giyuu smiles down at him before setting his head back on his shoulder.

He breathes, and the world settles. “I love you too. Too much.”

Sanemi kisses his forehead, and all the warmth returns to his body.

“You know the entire corps knows about us now, right? Between Shinobu and the brat, we’re not going to make it through the next hashira meeting,” Sanemi groans out.

And Giyuu just laughs softly, shutting his eyes. “That’s okay with me. As long as we can stay together.”

“Together,” Sanemi repeats, relaxing into Giyuu. “Sounds nice.”

Giyuu peacefully smiles, curled up into Sanemi’s embrace. They are the only two people on earth.

Well, three. Giyuu could never forget about his other favorite person— though it’s not really a tie anymore.

“Promise me you’ll stop calling him a brat. You have to be nice to Tanjiro now.”

Sanemi grumbles, “Fucking hell, I can’t.”

“Sanemi—”