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Castiel had made a regular occurrence of visiting the Men of Letters bunker, after Dean and Sam got settled in and things returned to, more or less, normal. He always visited on matters of business, though, and as such it was a long time before he ever saw Dean’s room. Today was different, though. Today, Castiel refused the strange inkling in his brain that told him to return to Heaven.
Dean cooked, he made burgers from scratch and Sam seemed eager to eat them. Sam never seemed eager about burgers, so it caught Castiel’s attention. When Dean turned to Cas and said, “You want to try one?” the angel tipped his head, narrowed his eyes and nodded.
“Yes, I would like to try one.” He said, curious.
The expression on Dean’s face was a mixture of shock and pleasure. He grinned his usual broad grin and darted back into the kitchen. Sam continued to read and that left Castiel at odds with what to do with himself. He wandered around the room, peering into books that were left out and all the objects left lying around by men over 50 years ago. The entire building was fascinating, like a time capsule, unintentionally left behind to be a relic of a past the Winchesters knew next to nothing about.
A record player sat on a table off to the side, the large black vinyl record left on it, but the needle arm was lifted and set aside. Castiel leaned over it, inspecting the machine, but didn’t dare to touch it. He had never learned to work such a machine, never having a need to before. A thoughtful hum escaped his throat, then Castiel straightened and moved into the kitchen to find Dean.
He was happily cooking, humming to himself and bobbing his head to the music only he could hear. Castiel was quiet as he watched, just smiling. He had watched Dean many times before, usually without the hunter knowing it and it was always the time he enjoyed most. When Dean knew he had an audience he didn’t act much different, but when he thought he was alone, he was somehow more easy going. He was more himself.
Doing a little spin, Dean turned to grab something from a different counter and spotted Cas. Jarring to a stop, he gasped, “Dude. Cas. Sneaking up on people isn’t cool.”
“I’m sorry, Dean...” He walked further into the kitchen and looked at the food that was being prepared. “I was curious.”
“Well, you’re going to see some top notch cooking here.” Dean beamed a smile and returned to his work.
Castiel’s smile was smaller, more subtle. “You enjoy cooking?”
“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “Well, yeah, I did most of the cooking for Sammy growing up, of course it was all mac n’ cheese and stuff out of cans or boxes. And uh...”
When Dean trailed off, Castiel tipped his head and waited for him to find the words. Dean cleared his throat and spoke a bit softer when he continued.
“I cooked for Lisa and Ben sometimes.”The smile had vanished and Dean’s shoulders were a little tenser. His eyes remained steadfastly focused on the task at hand. A small silence stretched out between them, then Castiel was at Dean’s side.
He set a hand on Dean’s left shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. There were no words that could be said in response to that, so Castiel only let Dean know he was there. Dean nodded his acceptance of the gesture and a slight smile returned to his lips.
“What were you humming earlier?” Castiel asked, his hand slipping away from Dean’s shoulder.
“Oh, a song. ‘Spirit in the Sky’, it’s a good one, I guess sorta ironic when I think about it too much.”
“Ironic how?” Castiel’s brows drew in a little.
“It’s kind of about going to Heaven when you die,” Dean laughed, his upbeat spirit returning a little as he continued to cook.
“I see,” Castiel smiled. “I would like to hear that sometime... if that would be possible.”
“You want to listen to music?” Dean looked at Castiel, surprised.
“I like music, and books and television.”
“Huh. Guess I just never thought much about that...”
“I don’t have many occasions to do so. I was looking at your record player a moment ago.”
“Yeah, well, after dinner, I’ll show you my vinyls and we’ll listen to something.”
“I’d like that.” Castiel’s smile was warm and Dean returned it with his own special brand of smile that he used when faced with an unexpected pleasure.
After Dean was finished cooking, he and Cas brought the burgers and sides out to the table to Sam. The three of them ate their dinner and Sam offered to wash the dishes when all was said and done. While he did that, Dean led Castiel back to his room, which Cas had never seen before. He looked around the room and all the decorations, scoffing a small laugh at the wall of weaponry. At least Dean would always be prepared in the event of attack. His eyes drifted over to the empty wall with nothing but a lamp on the dresser, when Dean cleared his throat.
“Records are here... if you want to look through them.”
Castiel looked back to Dean, who shifted his weight and pointed down at the crate full of cardboard sleeves. Stepping closer, Castiel peered down into the box and began sifting through them, looking at the covers of each. When he got to a greyish album, empty but for the couple sitting together towards the bottom of the picture, Dean stopped him and pointed to it.
“That’s Spirit in the Sky, if you want to listen to it.”
“Yes,” Castiel nodded, pulling the record out and handing it over to Dean. He continued to look through them, from the front of the box to the back, eventually coming back to one with four men standing in front of a door, next to a statue wearing a hat. It wasn’t the picture that drew his attention, so much as the title. “Can I hear this one, too?”
Dean swallowed when he saw the cover, but nodded, “Yeah... Yeah, we can listen to that one, too...”
With the two records in hand, they walked out of Dean’s room and back to the record player. Dean showed Castiel how to pull the record out saying, “Be careful to only touch the sides, or the paper in the middle.”
They set Castiel’s record down first and Dean flicked the player on. The vinyl disc began to rotate slowly and Castiel watched closely as Dean lifted the little arm, placing it on the record. A tiny scratching sound preceded a short length of static, then the voice of Paul McCartney drifted into the room.
Hey Jude, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better, remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.
Castiel closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the speakers of the record player, just listening carefully to the lyrics and tone, the singer’s voice and the subtle play of the instruments. As the music swelled, he opened his eyes and looked at Dean. The hunter was staring at the record, watching it spin around and around with a bittersweet expression on his face. The slightest hint of a sad smile touched his lips and his eyelids fell just slightly over his eyes. Dean’s jaw was relaxed, his shoulders almost slumped, but he was happy, in a fashion.
“You love this song very much,” Castiel observed quietly.
“Yeah...” He nodded, not taking his eyes from the record. “Mom used to sing it to me.”
“I know...” Castiel said, “I remember the name of it, though I’ve never heard it.”
And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain; don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well, you know, that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.
“It’s a beautiful song,” Castiel added.
“Yeah,” Dean cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah, it is.” He took up a lean against the table, looking off at nothing now as they listened to the song. Thoughts of his mother filtered through his mind.
“I saw that you have a photo of her in your room, she was a beautiful woman.”
A more wistful smile warmed Dean’s expression, “Yeah, she was a babe.”
“As they say, that must be where you got your looks from.”
Dean glanced over at Cas with a raised brow, “Are you flirting with me, Cas?”
“Is that how you flirt?” Castiel asked, mirroring Dean’s expression.
“It’s not how I would flirt,” he stressed the word I. “But maybe it’s how you flirt. Are angels capable of flirting?”
Castiel looked away with an indignant frown, “It is something some of us are capable of.”
“Well, you know, Cas, it’s not that hard.”
“There is an empty wall in your room,” Castiel changed the subject and it threw Dean off.
“What?”
“Your room has been decorated everywhere except one wall, why is that?”
“Just haven’t found anything of mine I want to put there yet.”
“Is it for Sam?”
“Nah... No, Sam’s got his own space, kind of, over there...” Dean gestured to the library.
“I see,” Castiel said, nodding.
“But if there was someone else who wanted to move in,” He shrugged.
Castiel watched Dean, then blinked and looked away, smiling. He slid his hands into the pocket of his trenchcoat, “This isn’t mine...”
Dean looked at him, confused.
Castiel pulled a small object out of his pocket. “Jimmy left this ... I never saw reason to get rid of it.”
“What is it?” Dean asked and Castiel handed over a pocket Bible, with a small piece of ribbon pressed into the pages.
“Maybe it can have a new home.” Castiel’s eyes met Dean’s on the word home and Dean just smiled.