Chapter Text
Adam slammed his laptop closed. Whoever the hell uploaded that video deserved to die, and Adam hated the fact that he actually fucking watched it. It was on his “Recommended for You” list, probably because all he watched on YouTube was videos of Blake whenever he missed him…which was all the damn time. He had heard about it. “Awwww Blake and Miranda are so cute! They sang his new song together at one of her shows!” After getting mad at that chick for not knowing that the song was called “Sure Be Cool If You Did”, he got mad that Blake didn’t tell him where he was.
Every time Blake was traveling, he texted or called Adam, letting him know where he’d be. He would always call just before boarding, and right after landing, and as soon as he got to a hotel room. But that day…he hadn’t heard a peep from him. At first it seemed a bit odd, but whatever. Blake was always known for ignoring his phone for an extended period of time. Now, he understood. He went to see Miranda. Normally he wouldn’t mind…but at a fucking show?! Where he fucking PERFORMED?!
Adam grabbed the laptop and flung it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered, pretty much exactly how his heart felt right now. He fucking hated Blake. He HATED him! He wanted to kill him, and wring his neck, and shoot him, and kiss him, and hug him, and cry on his shoulder all at the same time. Hot tears now pouring down his face, he fell to the floor and flung the comforter off the bed, followed by whatever was close to him. He openly sobbed and brought his knees close to his chest.
“Adam? Adam, I heard something crash. Are you-” James stopped in his tracks and saw his band-mate and best friend in a crumpled mess on the floor. “Adam?” He walked up to him slowly and sat next to him. “Hey buddy…you ok?” He expected Adam to say he was fine, or to just brush him off, but what James didn’t expect, was for Adam to hug him, tightly, and sob into his shoulder. He hugged back, and rubbed his hand up his arm. “Hey, whatever’s happening, it’ll be ok. We can get through this. Hey…Adam come on buddy. It’ll be ok. Whatever it is, it’ll be ok.”
“It won’t be!” Adam stood up and punched the wall with all his might. “It won’t be because, he’s fucking married! Married to her! And not to me!! He can’t even grow some fucking balls and tell me he’s gonna go see her!!!” He let out a few more sobs and sunk down to the floor once again.
“Adam? What the hell is going on? Who are you talking about?” Then it hit him. Blake. Fuck. “It’s about Blake isn’t it?” Adam nodded and sunk further into himself. James crawled over to him, and he knew, that if Adam wasn’t in this current state, he would’ve laughed over how ridiculous he looked. “Come on…just tell me about it.”
Adam sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “He…he went to see Miranda…and they performed a song together. The video is online and I saw it.” He scoffed. “I didn’t even see all of it. I got through about 30 seconds before I couldn’t take it anymore.” Adam looked up at the ceiling. “I just…I thought he loved me.”
“Ok, stop right there. Blake fucking loves you. Who else would send you your favorite types of chocolates and flowers on Valentine’s Day when both of you are on opposite sides of the country? Who calls you, every fucking day, before you go on stage? Who sends you those sickingly sweet morning texts as soon as you wake up? Who tells you good night every night before you go to bed? Blake does. And I gotta tell you man, I wish I had someone to love me like that.”
“But he has Miranda! He doesn’t need me…I’m just his little thing on the side.”
“Little thing? Ok Adam, I’ve had enough of your brooding. You have to look at this from his perspective…he was with her before you ever even met him! And I can guaran-fucking-tee you, if you met each other before they did, he’d never give her a second look. Blake’s married Adam…I know it’s tough to wrap your brain around all this, but it’s true. He’s not gonna divorce her…he’s in love with her, and in love with you too. Now think about that. If you were married to someone who you loved, and were cheating on them with someone else, even if you loved them more than life itself…you’d feel like shit. How do you think he feels?”
“I know! I know just…it fucking sucks man. I know he won’t leave her, but he can’t just get rid of me either.” Adam wiped his eyes and leaned his head on James’ shoulder. “I just want him to be mine. JUST mine.”
“Greedy son of bitch.”
Adam laughed. Genuinely and loudly. James smiled as he saw the light in his friend’s eyes come back. “Thank James…I really needed someone to talk to about this.”
“That’s what I’m here for man. Now come on, take a shower, wipe all those tears and snot off your face, and get ready. We have sound check in about 2 hours.”
*~Blake&Adam~*
The show was pretty awesome so far. Adam was smiling and he could feel all the adrenaline coursing through his body. He loved being in front of a large crowd, it always made him feel so alive.
He felt all of that fizzle away as he heard the beginnings of “Daylight.” Fuck. He sang it on instinct. The song never failed to remind him of Blake, probably because he wrote it for him. He thought about everything they did together. The phone calls, texts, surprise visits, the “I love yous”, the sex. Everything about their relationship was perfect, except for the fact that Blake was married. Adam was reminded of their last night together a few days ago. Blake had to go, but Adam hugged him and refused to let him go. He told Blake that he felt so fucking lonely when he wasn’t around, that he couldn’t sleep without him. Blake had just smiled and reached into his luggage, taking out a dirty shirt. He told Adam to keep it. That if he ever missed him a little too much, to put him on, and know that he was only a phone call away. Adam had teared up a little and kissed Blake passionately. He told him he loved him, and after that…he left to go be with his wife. Adam didn’t know it at the time, but he found out. Adam couldn’t help it…he broke down.
Right there in front of the audience, he fell to his knees and cried. James looked on, and looked away. He couldn’t stop the show…too many things could go wrong. The rest of the band looked at James and all James had to do was mouth Blake, and they all knew.
After Adam composed himself, he did the rest of the show pretty much on auto-pilot. They finished, and as soon as Adam got off the stage, everyone ran after him. “Adam! Slow down! We need to talk about this!”
Adam ran, he ran as fast as he could. Past everyone, PAs, crew guys, and anyone who was in the way. He didn’t know how long he ran until he found himself on the roof of the venue. He heart pounding and his breathing labored. He just couldn’t hold it in longer…he cried. He cried until he felt his head hurt. Adam reached around his pocket and grabbed his cell phone. He knew what he had to do.
After three rings, he heard Blake’s sleepy whisper on the other end of the line. “Hey babe. Have a good show?”
“Blake…I can’t do this.”
He could hear bed sheets shifting and feet padding on the floor. “Adam? What are you talking about?” He whispered harshly.
“Us. This…thing we have. It’s too painful.”
Adam heard a door close before he heard Blake’s normal voice. “Adam, what the hell are you talking about?”
“This! Our fucked up relationship! I just…I can’t take it anymore Blake!”
“Adam, where is all this coming from?”
“I saw the video! Of you and Miranda singing! It fucking broke me! I destroyed my fucking laptop! You love her more than you love me!”
“Adam! Calm down! You’re overreacting. You know I have to keep up the appearances.”
“Oh bullshit! You just can’t wait to leave me so you can be with her!”
“That’s not true! And even if it was, she’s my wife Adam! I love her!”
“And yet you say you’re hopelessly in love with me.”
“I am! I just- shit!”
Adam heard something that sounded like a door opening, and a girlish whisper. “Baby? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing Sweetheart. Just go back to bed. I’ll be there in a bit.”
“Ok then. Goodnight babe.”
“Goodnight baby.” The door closed and Blake blew out a breath. “Adam?”
“…you were in bed with her?”
“Of course. She’s my wife.”
“Goddamn it Blake! Stop calling her that!”
“Well what do you wanna hear? My lover? Would that make you feel better?!”
Blake was angry, he could tell. Adam knew he needed to calm down, to really talk about it, but all this was just getting out of hand. “You slept with her? On the same bed where we made love? Where we told each other we loved each other for the first time, and you fucked her on it!”
“Adam stop! What the fuck do you want me to do?”
“I want you to hold me! Love me! Drop EVERYTHING and come be with me, JUST ME! I want you to be mine and mine alone! To be there when I’m having a bad day! To tell me you love me every day. I want you…to leave her…and be with me.”
“Adam-”
“Blake just stop…just, tell me you’ll do that, and we can forget this argument ever happened. Fly over here, and be with me.” Adam knew he sounded like a whiny teenage girl, but this was the only way. “Promise me that Blake…please.” The last word came out as a sob.
Blake sighed. “I-I can’t Adam. You know I can’t.”
Adam bit his lip as he felt more tears stream down his face. “Then…I can’t do this. We’re done Blake. Don’t call me again. I’ll see you when the live shows start.”
“Adam please…don’t do this.”
Adam wiped his eyes. “I have to.”
“Babe…please.”
“I’m sorry.” Adam let out a sob. “I love you.” He hung up. It was over. All of it. He felt arms wrap around him, and cried harder.
James hugged Adam tightly and knew there was only one word to describe him at this moment…broken.
*~Blake&Adam~*
Blake stared at his phone long after Adam hung up. It was over…the relationship he had built with Adam, all of it was done. He walked to the kitchen downstairs and drank straight out of the bottle.
He walked over to the couch and laid down. He lost his boyfriend, his lover, his best friend, his everything. Blake did what he hadn’t done since his brother, his dad, and since him and Miranda wrote “Over You”
Blake Shelton broke down, and cried himself to sleep.