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Go Hyuntak is bored. He tries to tell himself that it's all because his best friend Park Humin got suspended and can't come to school but that's a lie. It's all because fucking Geum Seongje.... But the problem isn't that Go Hyuntak is being cornered and beaten up for no reason in the wrecked tunnels or silent streets first by the Union members and then especially by Geum Seongje himself...
Quite the opposite.
Nothing is happening. Geum Seongje ignores Go Hyuntak as if he's forgotten that he even exists. Even when they meet by chance in the same wrecked tunnels and Go Hyuntak goes above and beyond and glares at him for more than 3 seconds, Geum Seongje just throws his cigarette and continues walking.
It's as if Go Hyuntak doesn't even exist, never existed before...
Never existed before.
This situation becomes even more annoying when the new student Yeon Sieun starts making a name for himself among the Union members by challenging Choi Hyoman in front of the entire class
Especially when Hyuntak hears rumors that Geum Seongje and the Union members are going after Yeon Sieun and that they even go and see his friend or something in the hospital, an involuntary anger towards Yeon Sieun forms inside him more.
Hyuntak had already been struggling with his one-sided anger for Sieun for days. So when Choi Hyoman told him that Yeon Sieun was waiting at the back of the school to beat him up, he immediately went there as if he had been waiting for it. Waiting for fighting with Yeon Sieun.
Go Hyuntak is angry and his anger is boiling in his veins so he doesn't even listen to Seo Juntae in the corner helplessly telling him that all of this is a misunderstanding.
His ears are completely covered, his mouth acts before his brain because of all the anger he has accumulated inside him, and all his anger towards Yeon Sieun comes out with a crooked smile.
Hyuntak says in a calm but sarcastic voice;
"It's pathetic that you're pretending to be this innocent. Didn't you cause the death of a person at your previous school? No, wait... was it a coma? You just ruined an innocent person's whole life and now you dare act like this?"
The moment Yeon Sieun hears this, he's losing his all calmness. The kicks and punches are pretty clever but all of this and he's very amateur. Especially considering Hyuntak's previous professional taekwondo career, Yeon Sieun doesn't even stand a chance.
Hyuntak presses Sieun against the wall with a series of kicks, one after another, still professional, and he only can think about how easy he is.
In his mind, he involuntarily wonders why Seongje is now choosing Sieun over Hyuntak, even though Sieun was that easy, and his anger grows exponentially because of this.
While Hyuntak is lost in his thoughts, Sieun suddenly tears apart Hyuntak's favorite hoodie with a pen that he doesn't even understand where it came from, and just as Hyuntak is about to fight back immediately, Hyoman and his a bunch of stupid friends surround around them.
Fuck.
He just jumped right into the school's stupidest person's plan because of fucking Geum Seongje.
While Sieun and Hyuntak were fighting against Hyoman and his friends together, Baku suddenly comes dramatically from the behind of the school with his usual attitude and ends the entire fight in a few minutes.
Hyuntak goes to class with Baku, thinking that everything is over and he will never have to see Sieun again. With a relief.
Punishment.
Because of Hyoman's stupid plan and Baku's ridiculous heroism, Hyuntak is now forced to spend a weekend with Sieun, Juntae and Baku helping out at a ridiculous social event whose purpose he doesn't even understand.
The event doesn't go as badly as Hyuntak expected and even though he doesn't want to admit it, he regrets a couple things.
His one-sided hate for Sieun is completely unfounded. Even though he's not the most friendly or warm person, Sieun hasn't done anything wrong and he's just trying to stand his ground against bullies.
Over the next few days, Hyuntak, Humin, Sieun, and Juntae slowly grow closer.
Their closeness progresses to the point where they all go to Park Humin's father's restaurant for dinner, and sometimes Hyuntak walks Juntae to home.
One day, as Hyuntak and Juntae were walking home, Hyuntak had a bad feeling as he passed through that ruined tunnel. Probably it was because of the memories he had with Geum Seongje in that tunnel.
Memories with Geum Seongje...
Which is, beating each other until Seongje got bored and left him there all alone.
As Hyuntak tries to clear his mind of these thoughts, he suddenly hears a couple footsteps behind him, followed by a quick kick.
He narrowly avoids the kick and pull himself and Juntae to side, then he sees the face before him.
Geum Seongje....
The moment Hyuntak looks at Seongje's face, he grimaces in annoyance. But god... He missed him so bad. That disgustingly smug smile, the cigarette hanging lazily from his lips, his hair slightly disheveled from probably running to kick him, his glasses slightly off-angle... Everything. He missed seeing everything about Geum Seongje. Even the punches that will probably land on his face in a few minutes.
Seongje took a deep breath on his cigarette and began speaking with that disgusting smirk of his.
"My playmate. Or wait... should I say my old playmate... I've been finding myself some better entertainment lately. By the way, where's the new guy? Wasn't he hanging out with you? I came here thinking I might beat him up, what a shame."
Hyuntak doesn't know why, or maybe he does but he feels sick to his stomach after hearing what he's heard. The first thing Seongje does when he sees him after weeks is mention Sieun, calling him his "old playmate." Weeks later, the reason he even pursues him is to fight with Sieun...
Hyuntak turns to Juntae, trying to keep his face straight as he always does.
"Juntae, run!" he shouts.
Juntae tries to open his mouth but he realizes how serious this situation is and immediately starts running. The other Union members who came with Seongje starts to running after him and leaving Hyuntak alone with Seongje.
"Is it fun being Na Baekjin's dog?" he asks in a bored voice.
Seongje smiles, cigarette clenched between his teeth.
"It's fun... I can beat the shit out of bastards like you and... You know, it's even more fun to hear it from you, Park Humin's dog. Do you think you're better than me?"
Hyuntak mutters, "Don't you ever get bored..." and prepares to leave.
"Yeon Sieun isn't here. Leave me alone, I don't have time to waste with you." he snaps, but at that very moment, Seongje catches him from his arm.
"Baby, what's this? If I wouldn't know you I'd think you were jealous because of the desperation in your voice... I missed you, so don't make it hard. Let's go somewhere quieter."
Go Hyuntak's mind is on fire. His brain, his body, his thoughts all freeze at once, but actually everything's on fire. And he's unfortunetely aware of the slight blush that's spreading across his cheeks.
Of course, even though he knew Geum Seongje didn't mean anything he said but that nickname... That fucking nickname... They've been fighting for years and Geum Seongje has never called him anything like that. Nothing except "playmate" meant to annoy him. Nothing even close to this...
Baby... I missed you...
Hyuntak hates himself.
Hyuntak hates how easily Geum Seongje says these things.
Hyuntak hates how Geum Seongje never really means them.
Hyuntak hates how excited he is, taking those words as if they were real.
Hyuntak hates how he wants to scream until his lungs give out, "I miss you too." at him..
Despite everything, he still follows Geum Seongje like a dog.
Neither of them speaks a word during the short walk they take.
The moment they reach the rooftop, he sees Juntae. Already cornered. And his anger intensifies even more. Just as he's about to run to the Union members next to Juntae, a hand grabs his arm and says;
"Unless you want your little friend to have to deal with me personally, be a good boy. Your business here is only with me."
Suddenly thrown into the middle of the rooftop, Hyuntak doesn't even understand how the first punch landed. The second, the third.... Everywhere Seongje's hand touches burns deep into his skin and Hyuntak can't even think straight.
Once he slowly regains his mind and body, he begins to fight back. Knowing his punches don't stand a chance against Seongje, he focuses on kicks. One, two, three...
The succession of kicks pulls Seongje slightly toward the wires at the edge of the roof, but he never stumbles.
Without losing his grin, he says,
"What's this? Is this the best you can do? Shit, I'm not even having fun right now. I think you need another year to even get back to your old poor version, Tak-ah."
Tak-ah...
One more nickname...
Fucking nickname again...
Hyuntak can't believe what he's hearing and blinks a few times, at least trying to focus his eyes if it's not his thoughts. But in that time, Seongje grabs Hyuntak by the collar of his hoodie and brings their faces closer. Hyuntak has no chance against Seongje. In every sense. In every sense... Has no chance...
Even now, he can't quite believe the scenarios he's imagining but when Seongje shakes his whole head with a harsh slap, he comes back to his senses, at least a little bit. They're fighting right now. Yes, a fight...
Without wasting a second, Seongje tangles his hand in Hyuntak's hair, and Hyuntak's head involuntarily falls onto Seongje's chest.
Hyuntak losing it.
In every possible way.
He's already lost the fight in his head, and for a moment, he's powerless to do anything, and he surrenders himself to the warmth of Seongje's chest only for a second.
Before Hyuntak can drift off into his own dreamland, the rough hands in his hair suddenly push his head against the wires and in one quick movement, Seongje knocks him to the ground and he sit next to Juntae
He still turns around and asks Juntae with his last strength, if he's okay.
After this Seongje, who already put a cigarette in his mouth, laughs loudly and says:
"Go Hyuntak. I didn't realize you were such a romantic in all these years. You look like you're about to die but are you still thinking about your little boyfriend? I like this, it deserves a picture"
Just as Seongje finished taking the photo, the door opened and Sieun walked in.
A smile appeared on Seongje's face. Hyuntak felt as if a knife had been stabbed into his body by it.
Seongje said slowly, "Will the newbie finally get to taste my punches too? Don't say I didn't warn you, once you try it, you'll be addicted. Ask my biggest playmate."
Hyuntak's stomach clenched at those words.
Sieun suddenly lunged at Seongje and punches started to be thrown.
Something was bothering Hyuntak. His eyes were fixed on Seongje's hands. Every time Seongje's hand touched Sieun, Hyuntak's skin burned. Although he didn't want to admit it, it wasn't because he didn't want Sieun to get hurt. It was because Seongje was touching him. As if he was his playmate for all this time.
Not Hyuntak but him...
Hyuntak hated seeing this. Seongje leaving scars on Sieun, the possibility of every time Sieun looked at those scars maybe he would remember Seongje, maybe he would miss him when Seongje stopped fighting with him too, the warmth of Seongje's hand...
No.
It shouldn't have happened.
Gathering his last remaining strength, Hyuntak stood up. Grabbed Juntae and lifted him too. He suddenly shouted;
"Police sirens! The cops are coming!"
Everyone stopped. Seongje seemed confused. Taking advantage of this confusion, Hyuntak immediately ran towards Sieun with Juntae by his side and started running while holding both of them.
While they were running, he heard the Union members running towards Seongje and saying some things but at that time they were only focused on running.
When they finally were in a crowded street, they stopped to catch their breathand Sieun suddenly said;
"I guess I was so distracted by fight at the time that I didn't hear anything. Thanks, Hyuntak. If it weren't you, we could have been in big trouble."
Juntae was still trying to get over his shock.
Hyuntak's throat tightened. Even though his friend knew that his real goal wasn't to save him, could he thank him like this? He tried not to think about it and smiled slightly.
"Yes, probably. From now on, you can go with with Juntae. They won't come after you because they're afraid of the cops. I need to go a different way." he said and his friends didn't question him because of the tiredness of the moment.
All of them said goodbyes and went their separate ways.
As he walked, his mind was filled with so many things. This shouldn't have happened. What he did was wrong. What he think was wrong. It was wrong in every way. When he saw his friend being beaten like that his thoughts shouldn't have been about fucking Geum Seongje touching him. He should have been worried about his friend. What a terrible person he was.
As he walked with these thoughts, he decided to take a shortcut home through a tunnel. Again, a tunnel and in that tunnel, memories of Geum Seongje.
When he finally entered the tunnel, he saw the figure at the end of the short tunnel. He knew him in every way.
Geum Seongje.
He took a breath from the cigarette in his mouth and start to speak.
"Go Hyuntak!"
Hyuntak continued walking without answering or looking at him.
His voice heard again.
"Hey Hyuntak! Fuck. Answer me when I talk to you"
Hyuntak didn't answer. He was about to walk past him when he felt a warm grip on his arm. He tried to pull his arm away as if it had been burned but Seongje held on as if his life depended on it.
He took the last breath of his cigarette and threw it aside after and start talking while smoke was still rising from his mouth.
"Go Hyuntak. Do you think I'm like one of your stupid friends?"
Hyuntak didn't understand what was happening. He blinked at him in pure surprise.
"There weren't any cops there, right?"
Hyuntak froze. After a second, he tried to gather his voice and reply.
"So? The fight is over, why are you questioning it now?"
Seongje suddenly pulled him against the tunnel wall and trapped him between his arms.
"I don't give a fuck about the fight, Tak-ah."
Nickname...
"I'm just wondering why you did this. For some reason, something tells me it has nothing to do with the fight." he said.
Hyuntak was taken aback, then asked in a low voice.
"What are you talking about?"
Seongje continued, smiling slightly.
"Gotak-ah. Did you really think that I wouldn't notice it?"
Damn nicknames...
"Notice what?" he asked in a whisper.
Seongje's hand found its way to the collar of Hyuntak's hoodie. It was like a fleeting memory of the previous thing happened but it felt completely different.
Seongje let out a light breath and smiled... He smiled in a way that Hyuntak had never seen before.
"Notice what? Hmm, for example, the way you looked at me every time we met, the way you looked at me with those longing eyes even when I came to pick a fight with you after weeks, the way you placed your head on my chest when we fought as if it were your home there..."
As he spoke the final words, his hand gently caressed Hyuntak's head. Hyuntak involuntarily leaned into the touch. Seongje's grin turned a little more smug this time.
"The way you clench your jaw whenever I mention newbie's name, the way you can't take your eyes off my hands even when I was beating your friend like you don't want to see me touch him in any way in the world. Like you only want my hands to be your property.
He laughed out loud again, and his voice took on a sweet tone. Hyuntak could listen to that sound for days.
"I'm sure that police bullshit wasn't to save your friend. It was to stop me from touching him as soon as possible, right?"
Go Hyuntak was breathless. He didn't know what to say, what to do. Geum Seongje had read him like an open book and told him as if it were the best thing he knew.
"What nonsense are you talking about?" he yelled while trying to break free but Seongje grabbed him and pinned him even tighter against the wall.
He moved closer.
Even closer.
His voice was now a silent breath.
His head fell back onto his shoulder for a moment.
"Go Hyuntak... Tak-ah... My one and only playmate."
He suddenly gasped for air, as if he were suffocating.
"You have no idea what you're doing to me."
Hyuntak was stunned. His body seemed frozen.
He opened his mouth to talk again but couldn't speak.
No sound came out.
It was as if a weight were on his mouth.
Geum Seongje....
Seongje's lips touched Hyuntak's lips unexpectedly lightly. Hyuntak didn't expect a soft move like this from Seongje at all.
Seongje touched his lips like he was asking for permission. It seemed like it was only a matter of time before all his self-confidence was shattered.
Hyuntak couldn't hold himself back anymore and sighed as if he was melting with the touch of Seongje's lips.
This caused Geum Seongje to lose his all control.
There was no trace of that light kiss anymore. Seongje kissed Hyuntak as if he wanted to own his mouth, his hands everywhere as if he wanted to engrave him in his mind. Hyuntak was still in shock. He couldn't move his body except for his mouth.
The kiss soon turned a messy way. Both of them were panting, as if they wanted to own each other's lips for the rest of their lifes. Everything they had held back for years was revealed. Seongje flicked his tongue over Hyuntak's lower lip and Hyuntak opened his mouth to Seongje like a door that had been waiting to be opened for years.
The first touch between their tongues was wild....
Hyuntak felt his knees weaken and to steady himself, he moved his hands, as if breaking out of a trance for the first time, tangling them in Seongje's messy hair.
That movement awakened something primal in Seongje and he groaned then pressed Hyuntak even tighter against the wall. The contact between their body was now crazy. Hyuntak groaned in response to sounds that comes from Seongje's mouth and felt himself losing his control even more.
Neither of them was holding back anything anymore.
Although he didn't want to admit it to himself, even he didn't know how many times he had dreamed this scene, maybe even more of this, and woken up feeling ashamed and guilt.
They both felt their oxygen was almost gone and they separated while gasping for air.
For a moment, meither of them could open their mouth.
Hyuntak looked at the man standing before him.
His hair was a mess from Hyuntak's pulling, his glasses were slightly askew, his chest was heaving as if he'd just run a marathon and his face...
His face was flushed from this whole thing. His lips were red and swollen from the kiss, they were still opening and closing to breathe, his eyes were half open as if he were afraid it was all a dream.
Hyuntak knew he was probably in a much worse state than Seongje but he didn't waste any time thinking about it.
As he struggled to find the words to speak, Seongje's head suddenly settled on the area between his collarbone and neck, as if they were perfectly fitting puzzle pieces. Seongje's warm breath brushed against Hyuntak's neck, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist, as if afraid he might leave.
"Go Hyuntak... My Hyuntak... You can't even imagine how long I've waited for this." he said with the most desperate voice Hyuntak had ever heard.
"This, even more than this, you... You can't even imagine how long I've waited for you."
Hyuntak was still in shock, Seongje... Seongje waited for him?
Hyuntak, still trying to catch his breath, tried to reply, "I... I... What?" Seongje gently placed his hands on Hyuntak's cheeks and said, "You don't have to say anything now. I'll take you home, okay? We can talk about this later." Then he gently kissed Hyuntak's forehead, a kiss that was barely noticeable but sent shivers through Hyuntak's whole body.
Hyuntak managed a small nod and after that Seongje reached out Hyuntak and hold his hand.
Hyuntak's heart was still pounding in his throat. He was wondering how he could stay calm until he got home.
While walking to his home, Hyuntak was secretly surprised by how Seongje knew the way to Hyuntak's house by heart but he didn't say anything. He actually liked it way too much...
The road for home was thankfully silent. Even though they were holding hands, Hyuntak felt himself blushing slightly whenever his shoulders bumped against Seongje's.
When they finally arrived in front of Hyuntak's house, Seongje cleared his throat slightly and said, "Go inside. I'll text you, okay?"
Hyuntak nodded slowly and just as he was about to leave, he turned and gently kissed Seongje's cheek.
"Let me know when you get home." he said and quickly went into the house to hide his blushed cheeks.
Seongje didn't know how long he stayed there after Hyuntak went into his house. All this didn't seem real to him after all these years but it was real. Everything was real. Go Hyuntak and him... They were a real thing right now.
Go Hyuntak had ruined him forever...
__________
The weekend was beautiful. The air was slightly breezy but not overcast. Now Seongje and Hyuntak were on the same rooftop. The only difference was that this time, Hyuntak was lying on the floor, completely peaceful. Seongje's head was resting on his stomach and they were both just enjoying the moment.
But Hyuntak had a lot on his mind. While he was playing with Seongje's slightly messy long hair, he slowly cleared his throat and asked, "So... what you said about waiting that day... Were you serious like... Serious serious?"
Seongje's eyebrows furrowed slightly not in anger but as if in disbelief.
"Did you really think I'd make this up? Hey Go Hyuntak. Do you have any idea how hard it is to realize that you've been in love with a boy you initially thought you only liked beating up over the past year? I've started dozens of ridiculous fights just to get your attention. Just so I could see you more... You made me lose my sleep for days, you have to respect me a little bit. Even that day, my hands were shaking as I waited for you in that tunnel. " he said.
Hyuntak looked at Seongje's honesty with disbelief. He began to speak slowly.
"I... I mean... I was like that too... I guess..."
Seongje straightened up and lifted Hyuntak up. Now they were sitting side by side. Seongje turned to Hyuntak and said;
"I guess so? Baby, you were about to throw a tantrum because I beat up your best friend and it wasn't even because he got beat up. You're so greedy, aren't you? All these years you've wanted me just all to yourself, right? Go Hyuntak, I'll never let you forget that."
Just as Seongje was about to continue speaking, Hyuntak was already blushing red. To stop Seongje from speaking, he reached up and placed a small kiss on Seongje's lips before quickly pulling himself away.
Seongje whimpered slightly and said, "Come on, is that all? Gotak-ah, baby I've waited so long for you. You must give me enough kisses for all these years."
Hyuntak blushed even more and pushed Seongje away, muttering in a low voice;
"What are you talking about, you pervert?"
He tried to pull away, but just then, Seongje pulled him onto his lap as if it were their nature and as Hyuntak sat on Seongje's lap, a low "Fuck!" breathing was heard from both of them at the same time.
From that moment on, it didn't matter who initiated the kiss or who carried it on. All that mattered was him and Seongje.
Go Hyuntak and Geum Seongje...
Hyuntak didn't even know how long he sat on Seongje's lap, how long he kissed him, but when the kiss ended, Seongje buried his head in Hyuntak's neck and muttered;
"I don't think I'll ever get used to this, no matter how much time passes. Everything feels like a dream."
Hyuntak hold Seongje's face in his hands and mumbled;
"Me too."
Then Seongje... pouted.
The Geum Seongje pouted...
"Go Hyuntak, I love you. I love you more than anything.... Focus only on me from now on, okay? I don't wanna be apart from you anymore. We already waste a lot of time without each other."
Even if Go Hyuntak had thought about it for years, he would never have imagined he would see this Geum Seongje. He would hear this Geum Seongje...
A Geum Seongje just for him, only special for Go Hyuntak. Everything is only for him.
"Me too." he whispered quietly.
"I love you too." he continues and hugged him while he was still on his lap.
Of course, there were dozens of thoughts running through his mind.
How would he tell this to his friends? How would his friends react? Would they be mad at him?
But for just a moment, Hyuntak pushed all these thoughts aside and focused solely on the boy in his arms.
The boy he loves.
The boy who loves him.
He didn't want to waste any more time.
He wanted to spend all the time he had left with the boy in his arms.
With his Geum Seongje.
He didn't know how long they stayed in that rooftop.
But all he knew was that he loved every moment of it and wanted to live it for the rest of his life.
With his Geum Seongje....