Chapter Text
Sebastian was used to new faces entering his shop. One after the other; he would present the same old practised song and dance.
The initial pressure to escape as soon as possible was undeniably still there, but the task was proving far more difficult and more importantly time consuming than he had anticipated,
The patronage of these expendables was invaluable to puzzling his way out of this dreadful anomaly filled facility.
And even despite his disdain for them, Sebastian had to admit, they provided a sense of normalcy and routine that helped him from truly going mad down here.
Well, bar one exception.
The one exception being the figure crawling in his shop right now.
Sebastian’s previously giddy grin fell like a rock as his esca illuminated the expendable.
“You again?” he exclaimed, his tone dripping with annoyance, “When the hell will you stay dead?”
The expendable doesn’t bother looking up at him as they stride into the centre of the room, “Yeah, yeah, quip away fishbreath. I don’t like it any more than you do- got any batteries in stock?”
He sneered, using the tip of his tail to gesture to a pile of unsorted batteries strewn haphazardly over a small table in the corner, “Test them yourself. No refunds once you’ve picked the ones you want.”
“Wouldn’t expect one,” comes the easy reply of the expendable. Infuriating per-usual.
Sebastian gives them a once over glance before letting out a chuff and turning away to continue scanning a series of thick binders.
There were plenty of expendables being deployed daily, though Sebastian had no idea where Urbanshade was acquiring so damn many but this particular one had proven itself- much to his ire- as a regular.
In fact, it was his only regular.
Though Sebastian was often not witness to it, many expendables died before they had the privilege of reaching his shop, and most got scarcely a few rooms further down before meeting their ultimate demise. The world ultimate however, held little weight here.
Death was a laughable concept to this undeserving expendable. And it infuriated him to no end. Despite a countless amount of untimely ends, this one kept on crawling back.
The edges of the binder crinkled beneath his harsh grip.
“Solace,” the expendable’s voice disrupted his train of thought.
Sebastian’s gaze snapped down to the puny presence sullying his shop floor, ready to snap a retort, but before he could think of something scathing, his eyes caught sight of the fat stack of documents.
He’d nearly forgotten to take his payment.
With a swipe of his extra arm he collected the papers greedily, his interest stolen by the front cover. For a second he was so absorbed in leafing through the initial pages he almost forgot to take note of exactly how much there was.
“How many batteries did you take?” he queried, peering over at the pile to find it… surprisingly untouched.
“Only the two,” the expendable said, holding up the flashlight in their hand, “the extra is for something else. If you’d be so kind as to sell it to me.”
Sebastian frowned, “I don’t sell anything but what is clearly displayed.”
“Exactly,” the human said, holstering their flashlight with a proud smile before pointing at his tail. His eyes follow the gesture.
There are a few items still strapped to his tail, but it is admittedly barren and in need of a restock. But the expendable does not seem to point to these items, but rather in the blank space between.
For a second he wonders if perhaps this little expendable had finally lost their mind- or what little there was of it left.
“Did you find a new remote that was labeled imaginary object’’, perchance?” he murmured, giving them a dirty look. Recalling a few weeks ago when they’d walked in, haunted by two, frankly disturbing, imaginary friends. ‘The friends’ were a direct result of their impulsiveness to press big red buttons.
“You’re shedding. I want to take a few of your scales.”
Sebastian’s mind feels blissfully blank for all of five seconds. Before slowly the words sink in he finds himself blurting dumbly, “I beg your pardon? ”
The expendable steps closer, pointing more closely at a patch of scaled beneath the straps on his tail. The normal mottled grey is more pale and iridescent there, the scales warped slightly from the chafing of the straps.
Sebastian had thought nothing of it earlier, but as he leans over to inspect it he realises the expendable is right. The scales are about the size of a human palm, normally so tightly packed and flat against his body he rarely notices he even has scales at all.
He can’t remember if he’s ever shed before, he was probably too tranquilised or tortured to take notice if he had. The memories of it put a frown on his features as he turns to the troublesome human.
“I knew you were strange but I didn’t take you for a complete freak.”
“Waste not want not.”
“I am not giving you the fish equivalent of my dandruff.”
The expendable sighed, “I’m trying to test something.”
Test. Sebastian felt his teeth flash before he could stop it. A rattling hiss left his throat.
“Easy,” the expendable soothed, “it's a test that has nothing involving you.”
“It involves my scales.”
“Then I reiterate; nothing involving you directly.”
The fishman’s three luminous eyes narrow to pinpricks, the light of his esca flickering, “Perhaps if you explain what exactly you’re planning I might allow it. And there are absolutely no promises.”
The human stiffened at his expression, and he felt a short lived power-high, before they sighed bodily.
The expendable had once been weary of him. Movements shaking and unsure, their apprehensive tension was delicious. But as time had passed, and such fear had dissipated, the expendable had taken on a far more flippant attitude in the face of his very real threats.
“For the most part, the other residents here ignore you, am I correct?”
Sebastian paused, “Go on.”
“I want to experiment to find out if it’s based on scent. But perhaps it’s simply due to,” the expendable paused to look up at Sebastian contemplatively, “size and attitude.”
Sebastian had the inclination to blow their head off. Instead he smiled sharper, “What exactly are you trying to say?”
“Well the elephant in this room is a bit hard to ignore, isn’t he?” They snapped, “If you weren’t the lightbulb itself you’d be blocking the light out.”
He can’t help but laugh at that. As infuriating as this expendable was, they were funny.
After calming down from his laughing fit he settled his hands together and exclaimed boredly, “Fine. You can have my scales then. I’m going to be rather amused when you die again to test this stupid theory.”
“Mmhm. Sure, sure. I know you just sit here and wait for me to come back- “ “ You little- “ “- because I’ m the only expendable with half a brain cell and worth talking to .”
“Big talk for someone who’s died fifty odd times.”
“Fourty-eight, thank you. And those are your words not mine.”
He recalls the conversation he’d had with Painter over the walkie-talkie the day before, “… you were eavesdropping on me?”
The expendable was incredulous, “… you do realise how loud you naturally are. Right?”
Sebastian had no response. Because no. No he hadn’t.
The expendable clapped their hands together, “Right! Well… can I just, uh— “ “ No . I’ll do it.”
Ignoring this new revelation that he was loud , Sebastian reached down to unclasp the buckles on his tail. It had been some time since he’d taken them off that when he did he couldn’t help but shiver in the relief of tension.
It took considerable tightness to keep it from slipping off his serpentine body, so it wasn’t too surprising that the scales beneath had become discoloured and scratched from the treatment.
After taking a moment to rub his palm against the scales he began to curiously scrub at them.
A few of the scales wriggled at his attempts, but the process was surprisingly slow as it was difficult to get a talon beneath the pesky thing.
“Wait don’t jus- “ but Sebastian had already managed to get a grip on one. With a rough tug, the scale came free, “- tug it.”
He hissed at the painful sensation as the place where the scale previously was began to weep with blood.
It certainly didn’t hurt terribly but it still wasn’t pleasant. Akin to ripping out some hair.
“What else was I supposed to do?” He grumbled, absently handing over the scale as he rubbed the bald spot. Did scales grow back? He’s sure he must’ve lost some before, but he’d never paid them any attention.
“Find a loose one.”
“Oh yeah, like which one?”
He didn’t expect the expendable’s hand to shoot out across his tail. He tensed momentarily preparing for the contact, but it seemed they were merely pointing to one scale, “I think this one.”
Sebastian complied, leaning forward to tug at it- more carefully this time. Expecting to need some force he was pleasantly surprised when it simply came off painlessly with the slightest pressure. “Oh.”
The expendable took that scale too, “I think you should take these straps off occasionally. Losing scales isn’t particularly good.”
“How would you know?”
“I was obsessed with the ocean in general as a kid. I’m no marine biologist but I did have one too many books about fish and what-not.”
“Wowwwwie,” Sebastian drawled sarcastically, clutching his hands up close to his face to make a mock swooning gesture, “maybe one day you can be my fish-doctor.”
“Ugh, if I was; the first order of business would be that breath of yours, really Solace, it’s bad.”
His ear fins flatten at the comment. Having had his fill of prickly social interaction for the day; he muttered slowly through a sharp toothed grin, “Could say the same for your attitude. Now get out, shop's closed.”
‘Good conversation’ his ass.
The expendable doesn’t bother with trying to outstay their welcome, only waving a hand as a silent farewell before crouching down to scuttle out through the vent. A pair of large scales clutched in one hand, the other on their recharged flashlight.
The balls.