Work Text:
INT. CAR, MIDDLE OF DESERT - NIGHT
A quiet car ride. No radio, just the sound of the road
against wheels, and a humming engine. Bruce is focused on
the road, content to do so. Rick is less comfortable with
the slience. He taps his foot against the floor of the
vehicle.
RICK
Hey, uh... What kinda' grades did
you get in school, doc?
BRUCE
High school? Oh, I did all-right.
Just fine...
RICK
Uh-huh?
BRUCE
4-point-0 GPA. As and A-Pluses
across the board. Except for-- ugh,
my sophmore English class. Only bad
grade I ever got.
Rick smirks, looks to Bruce like, "you too?"
RICK
You get an F?
BRUCE
Hah! No. B-minus.
RICK
(unsubtly offended)
Are you kidding? B-minus isn't a
bad grade!
BRUCE
Yes it--... Well, it's a matter of
perspective, isn't it? Yeah.
(beat)
What about you?
RICK
(lying)
About the same. About the same,
yeah.
Bruce stiffles a snicker. Rick looks at him again, hurt that
he's not even buying it.
BRUCE
Why don't I believe you?
RICK
Well-- I mean... Aw, hell, I didn't
even finish my senior year before
I, uh, died-- or whatever, so...
Bruce nods, then his eyes widen, and he does a double take.
BRUCE
(loudly, then hushed)
What? You didn't?
RICK
Nope.
Bruce stares at him like a concerned parent, before he
remembers he's supposed to be driving and snaps his eyes to
the road.
BRUCE
Oh my god, you don't have a High
School diploma?
He's continously looking back at Rick, trying to drive home
how alarming this is to him.
RICK
Well, no, but...
BRUCE
YOu can't get a job, ah-- you can't
be a pilot, or a physisist, or--
what did you want to be again?
RICK
A hero.
BRUCE
Nono, before that! You said-- ach,
no senior year... We've got to get
you a GED, or a--
Rick rolls his eyes,
RICK
(Overlapping)
Oh, come on doc--
BRUCE
No, no, it's important! It is,
because you need to take the, oh--
god, what's it called, the High
School Equivelency test--
RICK
--Oh no, look, Bruce, I'm fine!
BRUCE
What if you want to get good work?
Having no diploma is one hell of a
roadblock, and- and- I mean missing
out on your senior year?
RICK
I've got good work! I'm gonna be a
superhero! That's what we're doing,
ain't it?
Bruce gives him the side eye.
BRUCE
This is not a job.
RICK
No, but when you were working for
the Avengers--
Bruce flinches.
RICK
No, come on, don't do that. When
you were working for the Avengers,
that was a job! They paid you,
didn't they?
BRUCE
That was different.
RICK
How? How was that different? Last I
checked the Avengers were
considered superheroes! I mean,
most of them are assholes, but... I
mean they were heroes, and the
government was paying you all to
save the day, weren't they?
BRUCE
I thought you were opossed to
having a government job. I thought
that would make you a "bootlicker."
RICK
Well, it would! But, I'm not saying
that all heroes have to be
government stooges! No offense.
BRUCE
And who do you think is going to
pay you to be a vigilantee?
RICK
I-- uh...
BRUCE
Vigilatism doesn't pay, plain and
simple.
Rick balks at him, places a hand over his heart.
RICK
Have you no heart? What about the
good will? The love and adoration?
The- the-... The babes!
Bruce laughs dryly.
BRUCE
Babes?
RICK
(as if this is inherent
knowledge)
The babes!
BRUCE
Right. Well, babes won't keep the
lights on. You need a job, and if
you want a good job, you need a
good education!
RICK
--and money.
BRUCE
Well...
RICK
You expect me to go-- where'd you
go to college?
BRUCE
A few places.
RICK
With the generous aid of the Banner
family trust fund, I presume.
Bruce's brow furrows. He stops talking.
Rick crosses his arms and huffs, as if he's won.
After a few more beats of silence,
BRUCE
(to himself)
That'll be the first thing I'll do
when we get the slate clean.
Rick slowly turns to look at him.
BRUCE (CONT)
I'll go to the Department of
Education, and I'll set up an
appointment for you to take the
HSE.
Bruce grins pridefully to himself.
Rick deflates, dropping his chin onto his hand. He looks to
the night sky for an escape from the threat of standardized
testing.
END SCENE.