Chapter Text
All you can hear is the buzz of the bar and her breathing deeply.
You're in a stall together.
Both with your backs against opposite walls staring at each other.
Her hands are behind her back almost as if when she lets them free she won't be able to stop herself from touching you.
Her chest is heaving.
Cleavage clearly visible in her low cut shirt.
You feel it.
That want.
The urge to touch her, to be seen by her.
It's been so long you weren't sure you would even remember what it feels like.
But you do.
You imagine running your hand up her thigh. What it would feel like to remove her shorts.
You take a deep breath, readying yourself to move forward and the bathroom door opens.
The sounds of the bar gets louder and you hear women talking. You both know you can't stay here.
She steps towards you and reaches back without looking to unlatch the lock on the stall door.
She looks you up and down one last time and then turns and leaves you there staring at the spot she was just standing in.
"What am I doing?" You think to yourself.
You take a deep breath and then follow her back out into the bar.
She's now standing with a group of her friends. Women you know. You walk up beside her and she turns and smiles at you.
"Powder wants to go home now. Can you give me a ride later?"
You know it's a bad idea but of course you agree.
How could you not when she's looking at you like that.
Vi smiles at you. She's beautiful.
Some of your friends live next door to the bar so you decide to go over there before going home so you can sober up a bit.
A few of you pile into the house.
Vi announces that she needs to use the bathroom and for some reason you follow her down the hall.
Going to the bathroom together isn't out of the norm.
Women go to the bathroom together all the time.
As she uses the bathroom you lean against the counter.
She's talking but you aren't really listening.
You are looking at her.
Really looking at her for the first time in a long time.
You used to fantasize about her but you would never tell her that.
You've been friends for years and you don't want to ruin that.
She finishes going to the bathroom and takes a step towards you.
You shift your eyes from her cleavage to her face.
She realizes you weren't listening and grins at you.
A grin that makes your knees go weak.
You smile back because you can't help yourself.
" You know, I've thought about you a lot."
"Oh yeah?" You respond, breathlessly.
"Yeah." She says with that shit eating grin.
You take a step towards her and at the last second panic and step around her to the toilet.
You sit down to use the bathroom and she walks over by the counter to look at herself in the mirror
"What am I doing?" You ask yourself again.
You think about your husband.
He's kind and hard working and would do just about anything for you.
She moves to the wall beside the bathroom door, you get up and take a few steps towards her.
She's leaning against the wall with her hand behind her like she was before.
Likes she's restraining herself.
"Jace and I don't do that separately." You tell her, because we don't.
You have an agreement that you can fool around with women but it has to be together.
He knows you like women.
You've only ever liked women until the two of you got together. Getting with him was a good choice.
The right choice.
He was stable and reliable and a good person.
He worked hard to make you happy and would give you anything you asked for.
"Okay" she nods at you but doesn't move. She's not blocking the door.
You can leave.
You don't move though.
"I'm not going to leave him"
"Okay" she repeats.
You think about the last time you were in a position like this. With a woman, in a bathroom.
You used to drink a lot and hook up with women pretty freely. You've had more sex in bathrooms than you can remember.
She slumps against the wall gently, hands still behind her back and all you can think about is what her skin feels like.
You can see her stomach where her shirt is just slightly lifted.
You think about what it would feel like to touch her there so you do.
You step forward into her space.
She doesn't move.
You slide your hand up underneath her shirt and rest on her rib cage.
She inhales deeply and you see her breast rise and fall. She was waiting for you.
You take your other hand and bring it to her chin.
Lift her face just slightly to look at you.
You want to kiss her so bad.
You think about it for a second and then choose not to.
That's a line you can't come back from.
You run your hand down her chin to her neck, down her chest, over her breast and back to her ribs.
She's breathing so heavily now.
The soft moan that escapes her immediately makes your panties wet.
You think about fucking her right here against the wall.
You could. She wants you to.
She moves her hands from behind her back and grabs your shoulder with one and your upper arm with the other.
You run your hands over her body again.
Exploring.
She takes your left wrist and brings it down to her ass.
You push against her.
All you can think about is fucking her.
How good her ass feels in your hand.
The feel of her ribs under your fingers.
You stand in each other's space like this for a few moments, both of you just breathing.
Exploring.
You dip your mouth close to her neck but you don't connect.
No kissing.
You run the hand that isn't on her ass up and over her breast, back to her neck.
God do you wanna kiss her.
Instead you drop your forehead to her shoulder and stare down into her cleavage.
You think about what she would taste like.
You can see the sweat on her heaving chest.
She runs her hand back down your left arm to your wrist and starts to pull it forward.
You know where she's going but you don't want to stop.
She places your hand between her thick thighs.
You imagine suffocating between them.
You cup her and start to move your hand.
You can feel the heat radiating off of her.
And then you pull away.
You can't.
You stand there breathing for a moment.
Your forehead on her shoulder.
You are married.
This is lust.
Sure, you've thought about this moment dozens of times but you made your choices.
You chose him.
So you step away from her.
Both of you still breathless.
"I can't"
She nods.
But you can see the conflict on her face.
"What's the difference between intentions and actions."
Fuck.
You turn and leave the bathroom because you know she's right. You wanted this.
You wanted her and if you stayed you were going to fuck her, right there against the wall in your friends bathroom.
This was a bad idea.
What did you do?