Chapter Text
It was hot. And (if he was being perfectly honest with himself) he really didn’t want to deal with this shit. “So tell me, oh brilliant young clone of mine, what’s your idea to hide twelve fucking people?” Dean didn’t need to look up from his Baby to know Alec was giving him a Look, which was completely Sam’s fault. Ignoring the annoyance oozing from Alec, Dean carefully reached past a tangle of wires to tighten down the screws on her new battery—whipped up by one of their new additions—and then straightened, carefully wiping his hands of grease before closing the Impala’s hood. “Ok, out with it.”
“We could go to Canada.”
It took Dean a moment to realize Alec wasn’t joking. “Oh god, not this fucking conversation again!” Without giving him a moment to start in, Dean grabbed his wrench and tossed it into his tool box, not breaking stride as he snapped it up and made his way towards the clearing.
Alec had anticipated his move, keeping pace with him. “Dean, think about it. We can cross the border, get everyone out of the country, to where they have freedom and we—“
“What, Alec?” Dean snapped, spinning around so quick that Alec nearly toppled into him. “Split up? Get away from those ‘weird psychics’? Abandon all the non transgenics—including Rosie and Tanya—and just disappear into an artic wasteland?”
Alec, for the smallest of moments, looked abashed. “Canada isn’t arctic.”
“Oh fuck off, will you? No. You wanna go, go. Have fun. Good luck getting Keegan to join your ass up there. Mate or not, she makes me look like I love the idea.” He knew the subject was going to come up again, but at least Alec shut up. This was likely because Keegan and Alec didn’t exactly fight quietly, which made them pretty much common knowledge. Dean knew it was a low blow, but seriously, this entire project was hard enough as it was, and he wasn’t dealing with a majority of the really difficult stuff. That was Sam’s job.
“We’re a bunch of freaks, so why not put us on show.” Dean forced himself not to bristle at Alec’s muttered jibe. He tried to concentrate on how Alec was just pushing his buttons, following his Alpha tendencies to push for rank…but it wasn’t helping very much. Alec was just so very good at it. With a muttered curse, he pushed open the door to his bunk.
“Impala tuned up?” Sam asked as he walked into the military standard temporary shelter that was currently his, Sam and Tanya’s home.
Dean glanced towards Sam, sighing. “Yeah. She feeling any better?” Sam glanced away, and Dean dropped the subject, looking down at Tanya, who was out cold on her and Sam’s bed; far too pale and skinny for her own good. “When are you gonna get her to a doctor?”
“When she lets me take her.” Sam’s voice was tight. “ After what happened with Leah…”
Dean turned away, trying to hide the guilt and sorrow the name brought. Barely six months ago, a scant year from making their stand against the Breeding Cult, Leah had (kind of) happy news: she was pregnant. Dean was actually excited by the prospect (despite his apprehension of anything pint sized), until the fateful Hunt… Leah had taken the brunt of a wendigo swipe to the gut. Science still couldn’t contend with pure evil, and Dean had rushed Leah to the nearest ER whilst Alec, Keegan, Biggs and Sam had attempted to keep the thing entertained.
He knew she wasn’t going to make it the second he helped them lift her onto the table; there was too much blood, he had been holding her intestines in with his bare hands. What he didn’t expect was the hospital appropriating her corpse for ‘medical research’. Alec and Sam broke in that night to retrieve her. They never let him see her body, instead only leaving her face unwrapped for the pyre. From what Dean understood, Alec had spent most of the heist trying to locate her organs.
“Tanya’s not transgenic, so she should stop being so stupid about this.” Dean tried to unclench his fists, but the anger was still too close to the surface. By the startled expression on Sam’s face, it was showing in his voice too. “I’m sorry, Sam…”
But Sam was already shaking his head. “No, you’re right. …you’re right.” He sat down again, one hand already smoothing some of Tanya’s hair out of her face. “So, did Alec get on your case about Canada again?”
“When is he not?” Dean snorted, and pulled out the gun polish, resolutely not looking towards what used to be Leah’s side of his bed. “Speaking of, did you get contacts for the rides?”
Sam gave him a ghost of a smile, grabbing a pile of papers from the desk next to him. “Better. I bought us rides. We lucked out, one’s going out of business in the next town over, and I got the whole lot. It was going for dirt, too.” He frowned. “Which still makes me question whether there will be a market for this…”
“Oh, there will be. And besides…” Dean said, scanning through the papers, “what better place to hide a bunch of freaks then in a carnival?”
***
“Don’t you dare storm in here complaining about Canada.”
Alec froze in the doorway, and then rolled his eyes, ignoring the sniggers from Biggs and Brae in the living area and walked towards the back of his quarters. Keegan was sitting on their bed, reading. Alec sighed. “Keely, baby, darling, the book is upside-down.”
“There’s a code here. And I’m not going to Canada. They talk funny up there, ay.”
“She’s gone through every book in the camp today. I really don’t know how she hasn’t given herself a migraine yet.” Biggs commented, standing to join Alec at the foot of the bed. He glanced at Alec’s face before grasping his shoulder. “Hey, it’s better than a month ago…She’s getting better.”
“She’s also not deaf, Biggs.” Keegan said, not looking up from her book. “So don’t talk about her like she’s not here.”
Alec fought very hard not to face-palm himself. “Biggs, go flirt with your new girl.” He ignored Brae’s indignation, and nodded in thanks at Biggs’ understanding as he moved out of the shelter, taking Brae with him.
“She doesn’t like you.” Keegan stated, still not looking up.
“I got that. And that’s too damn bad.” He sat down on the bed, careful not to disturb the book, but to his surprise, he got a double armful of Keegan. “Whoa! I’m glad to see you too, Keely.”
“Sam came by.” She said into his shirt. “He said I’m backsliding. And it made him sad.” She looked up at him, lip trembling, and Alec let his head fall back against the headboard. “Alec, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Keegan, this isn’t your fault!” He held her close for a moment, wishing to the gods she would snap out of it, come back to him…
“I need to find the code,” she said, pushing herself off him and grabbing her book—still upside-down—from the bed. “If I find the code, I can be me again….” Cradling her, Alec allowed himself to let a few silent tears fall, as he stroked her hair.
***
Dean glanced away from the security screen with a sad sigh. He should have guessed. Alec always got more argumentative when Keegan was…less than lucid. She was better than right after the Battle, because something clicked, and she had started her slow climb back to sanity. Dean wasn’t sure if either Keegan or Alec would make it through the process completely intact.
“Spying on Alec again?” Dean nearly jumped out of his seat. Spinning, he found Sam almost directly behind him. “Jumpy much?”
Dean shoved him and glared. “Shuddup, Sammy. I was checking in on them.”
Sam gave him that knowing look that Dean hated. “Uh-huh. You could have asked me if you wanted to know about Keegan.”
Dean leaned back in his chair, cracking open a beer, “I thought you had that whole Doctor-Patient confidentiality bull.”
He was graced with a Look. “Since when am I a real doctor? And besides, it’s Keegan.” Sam glanced back to the screen, and his expression shifted to something much more pitying. “She was making excellent progress. Lucid…and then…today…” He shook his head. “She can’t hunt with us again.”
“I told her she would break her brain.” Dean said, but he couldn’t muster up the anger with it. In the bottom of his heart, he knew where the blame for this one fell…and it was on the person—no, being—who made her perform that final duty as Puck. Dean blamed God. He knew Alec did too. “Sammy, couldn’t this be temporary…like when Alec got shot? High emotion?”
By the heavy sigh Sam gave, Dean could tell it was wishful thinking. “How much progress has she actually made? When she’s on a Hunt…she’s on autopilot. The sane times…if you can call them completely sane…”
“Sam.” Dean warned.
“Dean. They were getting longer and at more frequent intervals. This sudden switch? Everything I’ve read tells me this is a bad sign, Dean. We shouldn’t get our hopes up. And neither should Alec.”
“He’s not going to leave her.” Dean mumbled into his beer.
“Neither are we.” Something pinged on his watch, and Sam looked down in surprise, panic flitting across his face. “I need to get back to Tanya. Her fever spiked.” He was already moving towards the door, face white.
“You’re taking her to a fucking hospital and that’s a fucking order!” Dean yelled after him. He sighed again, and tore his gaze from Keegan and Alec’s cam, moving on to the four others. One showed himself, sitting with the gear, and the security feeds, another, Sam rushing into their room, blurring to get to Tanya, and pushing passed the camp nurse, Cera. The others looked in on their other ‘tents’, which housed the rest of their mismatched clan, most restless and pacing. Everyone was on edge.
Responsibility sucked.
***
“She won’t wake up.” Sam frowned into his coffee, wondering how the hell Keegan had managed to slip past Alec and the key-coded door to get into Sam and Dean’s ‘tent’. And then he took in the whole scene. Keegan was kneeling by Tanya—still unmoving and pale in their bed—and she was worriedly stroking her hair. As if she could tell she finally had his attention, Keegan gave a gentle shove to Tanya’s shoulder— the same one that Sam used on her every morning to wake her up. Tanya didn’t respond, her breathing continuing to come in pant-like breaths. “She won’t wake up, Sammy. Something’s wrong.”
It wasn’t until four hours later, in the waiting room of the hospital, watching Alec cradle Keegan in his arms that Sam fully appreciated that something had happened with his adopted sister. Pushing aside his grief and worry, he stood and moved to sit on the other side of Keegan, immediately catching Alec’s attention. He felt a tentative surge of protectiveness, and mustered up the best smile he could to help alleviate Alec’s fears. He had to remember to talk to Alec about remembering to speak rather than emote, which was saying something; Sam was usually the one complaining about Alec never shutting up.
“Keely?” He was rather surprised when she turned in Alec’s arms to look at him on the first prompting. Her eyes, however, weren’t focused, “Hey, do you remember how you knew Tanya needed help?”
She glanced at Alec before answering, “I just knew I had to see Tanya.”
“And how’d you get to Tanya?”
Keegan buried her face back into Alec’s chest. He just sighed, and shared a look with Sam. However, very quietly, a muffled, “Dunno.” Came from his shirt.
“She teleported, Sam.” Alec said, keeping his voice low. “Yeah, I know. She can’t…but she did. Biggs saw her do it too.”
Sam sighed, lost in his own thoughts. A moment later, he realized there was someone tugging on his shirt. He looked down at Alec, who looked…Sam wasn’t quite sure what to call his expression. “What does this mean?” He whispered.
Guilt surged through Sam as he realized what he was seeing. “I don’t know, Alec. I wish I did.” It was hope.
***
“Harvelle? Tanya Harvelle?” Sam bolted out of the chair so fast that Dean felt a tailwind. The white-coated doctor looked mildly alarmed, but held her ground. “And you are…”
“Family!” Dean yelled over Sam. “I’m her brother, that’s her—“
“Boyfriend. Yeah.” The doctor smiled, placing a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder. “You may want to sit down, Mr…”
It took Sam a moment to respond. “Sam Winchester. Sam.” He seemed unsure of the correct answer.
The doctor spared a glance towards Dean before focusing on Sam. “Sam, my name is Sarah Grey. I’m an Oncologist.”
Dean leapt forward, Sam had turned very green, and then very white. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, Sammy. I got you.” He didn’t even need to ask: Alec (one side of his nearly shoulder length blonde hair in a messy braid—Keegan’s handiwork) was already putting a hand under Sam’s other shoulder. The doctor glanced between Alec and Dean with a rather confused expression.
“Lady gotta staring problem?” Alec snapped, not looking at her but instead focusing on trying to get Sam’s overly large frame into the small hospital chairs.
Dr. Grey hastily averted her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She said, hastily flipping through Tanya’s chart. Dean resisted the urge to grab it from her and read it for himself. “Tanya has a meningioma. It’s--”
“Brain cancer?!” Dean really wanted to slap Alec, but settled for shooting him a glare that shut the kid up.
Dr. Grey nodded, clearly confused. “We believe it’s metastatic. However, so far we have been unable to figure out the source, which has severely limited our treatment options.” She focused on Dean, and Dean—for his part—tried to ignore the sobs coming from Sam. “Without knowing where it started, we can’t radiate. And that’s not the primary issue.” From the file, Grey pulled out an MRI. “The problem is the tumor resting on the posterior hypothalamus; a part essential for being awake.” She glanced towards Sam, her expression full of sad understanding. “You’ll be able to take her home as soon as she’s stable, a few days at most. I’m afraid that’s the only thing we can do is make her comfortable.”
Dean nodded, waving the doctor off. His head was swimming, and he needed to make sure Sam was ok. The same Sam who was currently vomiting into a wastebasket, being held by a very disgusted looking Alec. Keegan had adopted a very similar expression, rubbing Sam’s back in small circles, making a whining noise in the back of her throat.
He didn’t know how it was going to be alright. He didn’t know how anything could be alright.
***
Nights were hard for Alec, having to lay beside his mate, the one female in the entire world who could debilitate him with a glance, who clung to him in her insanity induced innocence. His reaction to her body was far from innocent. It was damn near torture. Keegan was clinging to him especially tight tonight, likely warding off bad dreams replaying the day’s events. But, there was something …different. She whined in her sleep, and he reached over, brushing away the hair that had fallen into her face. His fingers came back sweaty. Alec rolled his eyes; Keegan had a thing for piling on blankets. No wonder she was warm. “Silly girl.” Alec muttered into Keegan’s hair, snuggling closer to her.
His eyes snapped open. He knew that scent. It hadn’t appeared since before the Last Battle. His body reacted instantly, and he had to fight down the sudden, primal need that nearly overtook him. As gently as he could, he disentangled himself from her, struggling out of the bed, barely catching the alarm clock before it hit the ground as he stumbled into the bedside table.
It was enough to wake up Biggs in the tent next to his—the male groggily sniffing before yelping “Oh shit!”. Alec barely had a second to register Biggs’ voice before he was tackled sideways and his face was pressed against the cold metal not completely disguised by the shabby throw rugs. “Please don’t kill me, but dude, she’s—“
“I know she’s in heat, Biggs! And I swear to the gods you better have boxers on or else I will kill you.” The pressure on him was immediately lifted and Alec rolled his eyes, shoving down hard on the bulge in his own boxers before standing. Keegan was staring at him from their bed, an expression of mild confusion and sleepiness on her features. Biggs was struggling with his boxers and Brae—Biggs’ girl of the moment--had pulled a blanket around herself, following Biggs in with her com in her hand. Alec sighed. “I’m cool, seriously. I was just trying to get outside.” He said, trying to pull out a shirt from the pile of laundry. “Wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”
“Alec…” Keegan whined. And it went straight to the bulge in his boxers.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he struggled into the shirt, and pushed past Biggs. “I’m gonna need you to come with me.” He growled.
“But, Dude, Brae…”
Alec whirled on him. “Be glad I’m not taking you down right the fuck now and remember Keegan’s in heat.”
Slowly, a look of understanding dawned on Biggs’ face. “Oh.” And he gave Brae an apologetic look. She glared at Alec, arms crossed in resentment of her sudden—and unwanted—babysitting gig.
“She really hates me.” Alec muttered, forcing himself to keep moving.
“Well, she tends to resent my…er…pack loyalties. Thinks you and Keegan are more important than her.” He chuckled, “It’s true. I’m just not gonna tell her that.” He smirked, shoving Alec, making him stumble a little bit. “You’re my gay lover, and you don’t even buy me flowers.”
Alec couldn’t help but mock snarl and charge at Biggs. The play-fight was quick: Alec’s momentum taking Biggs down into the mud, but Biggs rolled with it, flipping Alec over him. Alec got his feet under him and dove at him again, this time catching Biggs flat but his momentum sent him sprawling. On and on, until they were both covered in mud and out of breath.
“Ok, ok! I call Uncle!” Biggs rasped, half an hour later.
Alec, panting, dropped the headlock he had been holding Biggs in, and flopped into the mud beside him. “Heh…That’s one way to kick pheromones.”
“You haven’t been laid in way too long.” Alec shoved Biggs. “I only speak truth, man.”
“It’s a sad truth.” Alec sighed, picking at the mud on his hands. “It’s kinda been a blessing she hasn’t gone into heat since…Before. It’s hard enough to deal with the usual frustration.” He paused, pulling at the webbing between forefinger and thumb.
Biggs peered at him curiously. “Alec? What are you thinking?”
“She hasn’t had a heat cycle since we took down Lilith! You know, when she fractured her mind.” Alec stood, and shook himself like a wet dog, sending mud everywhere. A majority of it hit Biggs’ face. “This means something!” Alec blurred to Sam and Dean’s bunker, pounding on the door loud enough to wake the camp.
Biggs slowly wiped mud from his eyes, and shook his head. “You are too fucking feral for your own good, 494.”
“494’s not his name anymore.” Biggs spun, surprised as hell to find Keegan, looking calmer and saner then she ever did, sitting on a rock a few yards away. Her gaze was on Alec, who was currently arguing in the doorway with a rather annoyed looking Sam. Biggs swallowed hard, half expecting to be signing his own death warrant from exposure to her pheromones, but he only scented the barest hint of estrus. Alec’s reaction wasn’t making much sense… “I’m trying to find my way back, Biggs.” His eyes snapped to Keegan again, who was now focused on him. “I’m almost there…I’m just missing…something.” Her eyes were sad, and were already returning to their usual, dreamy state.
Now all trace of the scent was gone. Biggs glanced at Alec (still arguing with Sam) before turning back to Keegan. The calm demeanor was gone, now she was scared and lost. Hesitantly, Biggs stood and made his way over to her, whining in the back of his throat. She clung to him the moment he got within arm’s reach. “No wonder you’re drivin’ Alec crazy, Keely.” He mumbled, helping her to her feet.
“Not crazy. Code is here.” She met his eyes for the briefest of moments. “I don’t like this me, Biggs. I want me back.”
Biggs gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head. “We all do, sister.”
“Keegan? Keegan! What the hell!” Alec blurred towards them in the mud puddle, sending mud flying. “Biggs! Why is she out here? Keely, baby, why are you out here?”
Sam was right behind him, looking sleep deprived and annoyed. “Shit! Biggs!”
“That’s my fucking name! Thank you!” Biggs snapped. “She teleported herself out here, and she’s not giving off pheromones anymore. I’m hitting the showers.” He shoved Alec as he pushed past him. “You’re welcome, by the way.” He shoved his way past Sam, grumbling to himself.
“Aw fuck.” Alec groaned, watching him go with one arm protectively around Keegan’s shoulders. “Biggs!”
Biggs waved him off, not turning around.
Sam sighed. “Sorry, Alec.” He leaned into Keegan, sniffing gently. “But he’s right, no pheromones. Odd, considering you were reeking of them before.” At Alec’s sigh, he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you kids go get cleaned up yourselves. We’re movin’ out to pick up the rides later.”
Alec wasn’t sure his mood could get worse, but boy did he love being proven wrong. “Well, ain’t that just peachy.”
“Spinny-spinny, fast—whoooo!” Keegan said, using Alec’s arm to balance herself as she spun on her heel. “Fun!”
Neither Sam nor Alec could completely hide their smirks from the other. Alec even cracked a smile. “Ok, maybe this carnival shit won’t be all bad.”
Sam grinned back. “I’m telling Dean you said that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” He muttered, waving a hand in Sam’s general direction. “Come on, Keely, I got ya’ muddy.”
Keegan wasn’t listening; she had frozen where she was. The smile from her spinning was still fading from her face. Sam felt a surge of dread, amplified by Alec’s emoting, and took a step forward. Keegan seemed to register the movement, and blinked, her eyes focusing.
She looked past Sam to Alec, who was standing as still as only a wild animal could get. And Sam got it. Alec was trying not to spook her. This was the clearest Sam had ever seen her eyes—the foreign little feeling of hope fluttered gently in his chest—
Keegan pushed herself up on tiptoe to press a kiss to Alec, who looked absolutely terrified she would break if he kissed back too hard. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m trying.”
“I know.” Alec responded, pulling her to his chest and holding her tight against him. There were tears obstructing his vision, for the connection with her was already fading. “You’re doing it.”
“She spoke? Lucidly?”
Alec looked over at Sam, now stroking Keegan’s hair. “Yeah. You saw that one, Sammy. Now what would you say that was?”
Sam hated to admit it, but Alec may have been on to something. “Maybe you’re right…but from a psychological standpoint, that type of snap in and out of reality is impossible.” He said, frowning.
Alec raised his eyebrows. “Sam, we’re genetically engineered soldiers who have preternatural abilities on the run from our creators and hunting down the paranormal. I don’t think ‘impossible’ applies to us.”
“The only limitation is the imagination.” Keegan agreed, picking mud from Alec’s hair.
Sam rolled his eyes. “Go on. Go get cleaned up. I’m heading to the hospital, gonna pick up Tanya.” He tried desperately to cover the tremors in his voice, but he could tell Alec heard. It was the Winchester curse. John had lost Mary, Dean lost Leah, Alec had only Keegan’s shell and Sam? Hell, Jessica, and now Tanya…
Sam shook his head. He wasn’t going to think about that.
***
Dean had been awake since he heard the door to the bunker open. But, for the life of him, he couldn’t muster the will to get up. Everything; there was just too much. He knew why Dad had gotten drunk. It felt like the entire world was pressing down on him—the lives of twelve other people relied on him—and all he wanted to do was hide, sleep. But, it was nearly seven am now, and it wasn’t the usual morning bustle he was hearing outside. He cocked his head, just listening.
By the sound of it, it was the beginnings of a pack fight, and Dean knew he had to move. By the time he got to the door, though, the entire clan was in the central fire pit area, where Alec and Brae were currently circling each other, snarling. He kinda wished Sam hadn’t left yet. “Oh fuck. Alec! At ease!”
“I doubt that’s gonna stop them; he thinks Brae wasn’t watching her…again.” Cera whispered, smirking. “Which I honestly think was the case. Again.”
“Keep comments like that to yourself, Cer.” Dean growled, pushing past her and into the no-man’s-land between the spectators and the ring. It was a simple thing to grab both by their barcodes, eliciting a yelp and weak struggle from Alec, while only a whimper from Brae. “This is not how we solve problems here, children! Cera! Rosie! Hold her! Biggs!” The three broke ranks, Cera and Rosie going for Brae’s arms while Biggs joined Dean in attempting to restrain Alec. However, Alec wasn’t as docile as Brae, and fought until Dean wrestled one arm up and behind his back, hyperextending Alec’s shoulder. “Alec.”
His clone still snarled, but didn’t struggle, finally turning his attention to Dean. “Seven times!”
“Put her in a home where she belongs!” Brae hissed. Alec surged forward, nearly puling free despite Dean’s hold on his shoulder.
Rosie dropped Brae’s arm and slapped her hard across the face. Immediately Shaun darted forward, preventing her from landing a second blow. “Rose, not helping.” Glowering, Rosie switched places with Shaun, heading back to the ring of observers. “Brae, you joined us with the same expectations as everyone else. We’re a family. We’re not leaving Keegan anywhere unless you want your ass left…” he trailed off, looking around the circle. “And that goes for everyone. I’m not having this conversation again. Brae, only warning.” She wouldn’t meet his eyes, and it was pissing Dean off. There was a snarl, and Brae dropped to her stomach, rolling to bare her long neck. After a second, Dean realized the sound had come from him. He quickly glanced around, noting that his entire pack—excluding the Special Children—had gotten lower to the ground. He was unsurprised that Alec was the highest up. The staring was starting to get to him. “Ok, guys, get up. We got work to do. Alec, to me.” He watched the others leave, long enough to see Biggs and Rose gently steer Keegan away. He looked back to Alec, who was glaring at the scene. “Knock it off.”
Alec’s eyes were feral. “What?”
“Knock. It. Off.” Dean repeated, his face softening. “I know you’re worried about Keegan.” He paused; he could have sword Alec just hissed. “What?”
“Brae’s Manticore through and through. She’s here for the mission. Sickness mean’s you’re put down.” Alec’s eyes went colder and he gave a mirthless laugh. “And you want us to be happy carnival clowns…I don’t think you know what you got yourself into. You really have no idea what we are.”
Dean swallowed hard, allowing Alec to stalk off. He hated to admit it, but he was starting to think Alec was right.