Chapter Text
Brooklyn, June '32
It's hot and humid and smells like the mills, but Steve can't bring himself to care. He and Bucky are strolling side by side towards the docks, a few stolen pieces of candy in their pockets and grins wider than the Hudson on their faces.
"Man, who would'a thought they'd just put those right in front of the store." Steve snorts, sauntering towards their favorite pier. He's not having any issues with his lungs today and his body feels good, he finally feels like a normal kid. A little short, but normal.
"You're telling me! Got a whole fist full and we were gone before he even blinked. What a day." Bucky bounces on the balls of his feet as he laughs excitedly, grinning so wide his teeth shine in the sun.
Settling down in the sand beneath the pier, leaning against a pillar, the two boys begin unwrapping their treats. Steve pops one on his moan and groans softly. It had been months since he'd had candy, Christmas time bringing a few treats but nothing extravagant, and his mouth explodes with flavor. He hears Bucky chuckling next to him, and he turns to see a glint in the boy's eyes.
"You okay there pal?"
"Shut up, it's good!"
"Oh yea, sounds great." Steve punches him in the arm, only succeeding in making Bucky laugh louder, his eyes shut as he tossed his head back. "You hit like Becca!"
"Shut up Buck!" Steve feels his face heat up in embarrassment.
"Oh c'mon Stevie, relax!" Bucky bumps their shoulders together, leaning his head to rest on top of Steve's. He feels a tingle in his stomach, his weak heart thumping like he'd done jumping jacks. He huffs, but relents. What's wrong with him, it's just Bucky?
"I hate you, you jerk."
"Ya know, you act like a damn punk."
"I do not!" Steve hisses, spinning to face his friend, face going bright red again, fear shooting through his limbs. "Take that back now."
"Ahh Stevie you know I'm playing with you, calm down before you have a fit again. We didn't bring your cigarettes with us." Bucky huffs, rolling his eyes as he slings an arm over the blond's shoulders, tugging him back in for a hug.
"Don't call me that Buck. Someone's gonna hear you and try an kill me." Steve grumbles, looking around to make sure no one has overheard the exchange.
"I won't let anyone touch you, it's my job to kick your ass anyway sunshine."
"Fuck you."
"Angry little bastard ain't'cha?" Bucky unwraps his first candy and looks down at Steve as he pops it into his mouth, making an exaggerated moaning noise as he tastes the lemon flavor burst on his tongue. Steve freezes, his entire body hot as he hears the sound. His blood feels electric as the sound echoes through him like a bell, his cheeks going bright red and his cock chubbing in his pants. Bucky's still pulling a face, his eyes rolled back and his mouth open, throat bared and all Steve can think about is getting his teeth into the meat there. Shame floods him and he shoves hard at the other boy's chest, knocking him over as Steve scrambles to his feet, stalking away.
"Aww c'mon Steve take a joke! I'm just teasing!" Bucky calls after him, still cackling. Angry tears prick at his eyes as he stomps up the sand, determined to head home and ignore the entire incident. He hears a grumble and a few curses before the thump of shoes in sand coming after him.
"Go away Buck." He hates how his voice cracks when he says it. It gives away everything he's trying to hide.
"What's goin' on with you today? You're worse than usual?" Bucky mutters, falling into step next to him. They walk in silence for a few blocks, Steve headed back towards home.
"Hey, you wanna listen to the game tonight? Dodgers are playing." Bucky offers, and as much as Steve wants to say no, wants to push him away and deny the feelings budding in his chest, he can't bring himself to. He's selfish, dirty, sick and depraved but he'll be damned if he could ever tell Bucky no.
"Yea Buck, I'd like that." The words taste sour in his mouth, like the lemon candies.
"Wanna camp out in the living room again? Bet we still fit on the couch." Bucky smirks, seemingly thrilled that Steve's told him yes.
"There's no way we can both fit on the couch, look at you! You're huge!" Steve squalks, momentarily forgetting his internal battles. Bucky looks down at his body, all hard lines of muscle now that his baby fat has melted away. Bucky tilts his head as he laughs, the sharp line of his jaw casting a shadow down his throat. That fucking throat, bare and bite-able... Steve jerks himself out of the line of thought quickly, pink tinging his cheeks again.
"You can lay on top'a me, you're the same weight as a quilt anyways." And if that isn't the devil tempting him, he doesn't know what is.
"Why do you want me to lay on top'a you anyway, you tryin'a be the punk?" The words slip out before he can stop them as they cut through an empty lot, nearly at Steve's apartment. Bucky stops, Steve getting another few steps ahead before he realizes it. Turning, he sees hurt and anger shining on his best friend's face. Guilt closes around his throat, his heart aching at the pain he sees.
"I'm sorry Buck, I didn't mean that, I-"
"No, no it's fine Steve. See you tomorrow." Bucky drops his head, voice low as he steps backwards with his hands shoved in his pockets, twisting to go around the block towards his own home. Panic overwhelms Steve and his hand shoots out to tangle in Bucky's shirt, his breaths coming in sharp gasps.
"I'm sorry." Please don't go, the words are unspoken, but feel like an admission.
"It's okay. I'm sorry too." I won't leave you, Steve feels it echo through him, and he selfishly wishes it was an admission like his own. They stand silently for a moment, Steve's fingers still tangled in Bucky's dirty shirt, both boys still looking into each other's eyes, trying to understand what the other isn't saying. Finally, they shift, the smaller's hand falling down, both walking slowly, side by side, up the stairs and into the apartment. Bucky doesn't tease Steve as he trips on the 3rd step, just catches his elbow out of habit. They settle in, turn on the radio and listen quietly until the game starts.
When Sarah finally gets home after a late shift, her lungs aching, she walks in to see both boys curled together on the couch. Bucky's arms cradling her boy's shoulders, a leg tucked between his skinny thighs. Steve's managed to press his face into the older boy's neck, fingers still tightly curled in the boys shirt. One leg tossed high up over his hip. Her heart swells and breaks in the same instant. If she'd believed in soulmates, she would have sworn on Joseph's grave that these two boys were made for each other.
"Oh, my boys. Life isn't going to be fair to you, but don't you give up on each other." She whispers, stroking the top of Steve's messy blond hair. Her son smiles in his sleep, pressing his face closer into Bucky's neck. The dark haired boy sighs, his arms tightening gently as her son's name falls from his sleeping lips. If a tear escapes her while she walks back to her bedroom, well, no one can see it.