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The birds are chirping near the window and the noise of people talking outside transfer to the thin walls of the small apartment. Inside, there is Sieun who is sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for his boyfriend who left to buy some alcohol at the Convenience store.
Sieun is spending his weekend at Seongje's house, this has been a routine since they became officially a couple 8 months ago.
If someone told Sieun that his first official relationship would be with Geum Seongje, the crazy wolf of the Union, he'd kick them on the balls, but life is unpredictable and now he is wearing one of the man's hoodie, laying on his bed, having a copy of the apartment keys and tolerating the jokes of his friends who are still in shock because they are still together.
Life always has the last laugh.
The minutes pass and Sieun gets bored, he gets up from bed and sits on the gaming chair in front of his boyfriend's desk.
“I might order his mess just to kill time,” he whispered.
However, something caught his attention real quick, in between comics and papers, Sieun looked at some familiar documents, he tried not to snoop but the logo situated on the top of the document made him curious. He grabbed them and read the title: Yonsei Admission Application Process.
“Official Guide to Approve xxxx Csat”
“How to approve SNU, YONSEI and KAIST”
“GPA requirements for future graduates”
He reviewed and read the papers many times, this shouldn't be something to be surprised but for Sieun this is a serious topic they've discussed before.
“When did he get all this information?” He thought out loud while his hands were still holding the bunch of documents and advertisements.
Ding-Ding-Ding, Click!
Sieun listened to the sound of the door being unlocked, but before he could even talk, the silhouette of a person was in front of him.
“Don’t look at that!” A panicked voice followed by a familiar hand snatched the documents from Sieun’s grip.
Sieun turned to face the man in front of him.
“Why didn't you tell me you're applying to college?” He replied in a calm voice.
It's the middle of September and while the surroundings of the city may feel peaceful, for the high school seniors of Korea, these few months will be hell on earth, in less than 2 months Sieun and his friend must apply for the Csat, which will decide their future.
The couple had a discussion before about their goals. Sieun has decided to apply to Yonsei University, since it's far away from both sides of his family and because it has one of the biggest and most prestigious engineering programs.
On the other hand, Seongje was very clear that he wouldn't apply. Is not that he isn't smart or incapable, his boyfriend is actually good at school, he just likes being a troublemaker.
“It's just bullshit I found when I hung out with the guys. The streets are filled with educational propaganda, it caught my attention but I got uninterested, don't overthink,” he blurted out as fast as lightning.
“And the documents have important details filled with your information and notes highlighted in blue? Look at me Seongje,” a cold tone of voice demanded.
Sieun tried to see Seongje’s eyes who hadn't glimpsed him all this time, avoiding eye contact like he feels ashamed.
“What do you want me to say?” Finally, an irritated expression settled in Sieun’s direction.
His hands, still holding the bags with bottles of Soju inside, tightened and his knuckles turned white.
“I just got curious because you only talk about the stupid entrance exam and all that shit,” he kept saying. “I wanted to see how hard it could be that you get distracted from us, leaving me like a stray dog, but I turned down the idea later. Happy?” A forced smile showed in Seongje’s face.
“Did you finish?” He asked monotonously, but he let out some air stored in his chest. He knows Seongje is angry.
“Ha, You were the one who asked! But yes, I finished. To sum up, sorry to disappoint you if you had expectations, but you have a stupid man as a boyfriend,” his eyes that are always expressive with joy for the first time show a hint of pain.
Sieun finally opened his dry lips, who were captive on his teeth, holding his words.
“You aren't stupid, I wouldn't date you if you were, so stop saying that,” he reprimanded. A laugh left Seongje’s mouth.
“Wow, Yeon Sieun,” he clapped twice. “Thanks for the compliment… I guess, you are such a romantic,” he mumbled some inappropriate profanities to himself.
Sieun could see that Seongje didn't take his words as well as he intended to deliver. Sieun sucks at expressing his feelings, Seongje is actually better at communicating than him but now the tables have turned and Sieun has to be the voice of reason in this argument.
But Sieun isn't that type of person today either, so he did what he knows best.
“What the fuck are you doing?! Do you really wanna fight or what—”
A loud sound of crystal bottles falling to the floor broke the silence of the environment.
Seongje’s body was pushed hard to the wall and before he could react his lips were captured by Sieun.
Sieun is pressing both bodies through the wall, he puts one hand on the back of Seongje’s neck while his other hand is leaning on the wall blocking any gap of space between them.
Seongje, who is still trying to process the situation, doesn’t open his mouth as Sieun expected, so he bites his lower lip fiercely, causing the taller man to let out a growl.
“Sieun… fuck… you really” he attempted to speak but Sieun didn’t let him and inserted his tongue, deepening the contact.
Something that Seongje loves about his tiny but dangerous boyfriend is how he can manage to take control over his life. People might think he is a freak but they haven't seen Sieun yet.
Wet noises and loud moanings flew around the room. The kiss was raw and intense, Seongje forgot the reason they were fighting in the first place, he could only think of the man who was acting dominant while standing on tiptoes.
The kiss went on for what it seemed like hours. Sieun didn't back down and continued to dominate Seongje until the man in question followed his game and grabbed his waist to bring Sieun closer like a possessive freak.
“Geum Seongje,” a cracked voice called his name.
“I'll say once so listen well,” Sieun pulled Seonje off and continued.
“I'm with you because you've shown me what a great person you are. You're a crazy bastard, I know damn well the problems I'd had when I chose you,” he reminded the man in front.
“But I love you because you're smart, analytic and fearless. Do you think so low of me that I would fall in love with anyone?” A hurt sound came out of Sieun after that sentence and it made Seongje’s heart pinch in pain.
“Don’t ever doubt my love for you.”
Another kiss, more timid and less harsh, rested on his lips.
Nonetheless, Sieun quickly cut the kiss and looked up in his direction. If eyes can kill , Seongje is already at the hell's gate waiting for his sentence.
He screwed up.
He made Sieun worry and that's the last thing he wanted.
Finally, Seongje surrendered and said in a trembling voice:
“I know… damn it, I know Sieun. So why are you so pressed to know more about what you saw on my desk? I can't comprehend,” he laid his head on Sieun’s shoulder, tired of the facade he had put up a moment ago.
“Because I already had suspicions that you were hiding something,” he wrapped his arms around Seongje, giving him a warm hug.
Sieun is sure his boyfriend thinks he can't see through his lies, but he knows that something unusual was happening with Seongje.
Everything started mid July, Seongje would usually go along with Sieun to Cram School and stayed there playing video games in silence or sleeping until his boyfriend finally finished. However, Seongje suddenly took interest in studying with Sieun… like actually studying , he even brought books and blocked any person who tried to contact them during those hours.
But that moment didn't last long, Seongje began to distance from Sieun and miss their study time together. Sometimes he came late to Cram School with the excuse he had something important to discuss with The Union.
But when he asked what type of meeting they had, Seongje would often omit details, something weird because since the moment they became a couple Seongje liked to ask him for advice.
Excuses.
He tried to act normal, like he isn't insecure about the sudden secrecy Seongje has about his personal affairs.
While their meetings decreased, Seongje tried to compensate for the lost time by giving a bunch of presents and flowers.
But Sieun couldn't explain why he felt something was off.
“He is definitely cheating on you,” Baku expressed with a sigh and an exaggerated concerned expression. “Our Sieun-ie… you should— Ouch! ” A hit on the head by Gotak made him shut his mouth.
“What crap are you filling in his head? Dumbass… Sieun, don't listen, he's projecting” Gotak contradicted while he sat on his desk.
Sieun knew his friends don't have the best relation with Seongje (for valid reasons), but they noticed the concern in Sieun’s face all this morning.
“Hmn, I think the same as Gotak,” Juntae agreed. “I personally don't know Seongje as well as you and he doesn't get along with us, but…” Juntae added and continued, “he looks loyal and honest in his words, I can see he really loves you,” he patted his shoulder and tried to comfort Sieun.
Sieun knows they wouldn't be together if he hadn't shown his true self.
The days went on and Sieun tried to adapt to the small and almost unnoticeable changes in their routine.
But then, Seongje canceled their gaming dates with a stupid and simple message, like he wasn't the one who begged Sieun to play Valorant and all those stupid games to spend time together.
Sieun stayed calm, trying to get a reason but he only got “There are important things that I have to take care of with The Union, sorry.”
Another message filled with nothing.
Excuses .
The time passed and the only thing that remained the same was their meeting on weekends and Seoinje tried to go above and beyond those days, doing things such as cooking his favorite meal, leaving kisses on his lips, watching movies and asking Sieun about how his day went.
But Sieun noticed the dark circles that were beginning to appear in Seongje’s eyes, the yawns he would let out sporadically during their conversations and the fatigue in his body.
“I’m fine. I just had a lot of things to handle with the guys,” he replied every time as an automated answer only for Sieun.
Sieun nodded, there wasn't much he could debate.
Excuses .
However, the straw that broke the camel's back happened last Friday. While Seongje might not notice his change in behavior towards his partner, Sieun was certain all The Union crap was a lie and he tried to pretend he believed it.
So, after Cram School and without Seongje’s knowledge he headed to The Union’s meeting point where he expected to find Seongje.
But he wasn't there.
However, he found one of Seongje’s gang members and approached. The man saw Sieun from the corner of his eye and greeted.
“Oh! What brings you here sis?” He asked, they really liked Sieun and would call him sister-in-law.
Sieun tried to act nice to these people and asked:
“I'm looking for Seongje, he told me he couldn’t meet because you've been busy with stuff,” Sieun expected to be taken to Seongje’s location, but all he got was a confused look on the man's face.
“Is he not here?” He asked and raised an eyebrow.
The man saw the change in Sieun’s expression and his voice trembled.
“Seongje? He was here! but currently he's been meeting with someone important outside,” he laughed nervously while scratching his head.
“Can you please tell me more?” He replied with fake kindness. The man knew it was better not to lie to Sieun, he is scarier than Seongje for sure.
Sieun finally learned from The Union’s dog that in the past few weeks Seongje was doing some sort of business outside the gang, they didn't understand well but it seems he is taking “advice” from a mentor every week after class to be accepted in a lucrative business.
He thanked the man and before leaving the place he decided to call Seongje, to see if he could lie again.
The phone rings twice when Seongje answers, Sieun asks what he is doing.
“I'm handling some business with the guys… I’m sorry but this is important. I'll call you later, ok?” He pledged.
“Hmn. We'll talk later,” and without a reply from the other line, he hung up.
Sieun’s heart dropped to his stomach and pressed his phone tightly.
A bunch of bullshit excuses.
Sieun finally lost it.
He is now certain his stupid boyfriend is concealing his current actions from Sieun, the question is why.
They never had a problem with telling each other secrets, he considers Seongje as a trustworthy person… but Sieun isn't sure anymore.
Fine, if Seongje wants to bend the truth from him, Sieun will confront him until he can confess.
And surprisingly he got his answers the weekend they spent together.
Sieun was honest in his words, he didn't come to Seongjes place to snoop on his belongings, his intentions were different but when he unintentionally saw the documents something in his head just clicked.
The documents caught his attention not because they contained something sensitive but the blue logo on the top made him curious and when he took the documents out of its hiding place Sieun recognized where they came from.
Its from Sieun’s future University, Yonsei.
“Tsk—” a click came out of his mouth. “I forget I'm dating a top student,” Seongje eventually opened up.
They both calmed down and separated their bodies from each other, soon they felt a light draft of air that made them shiver.
They sat on the narrow but warm bed and had a civil conversation where Seongje spoke sincerely.
“I told you I didn't wanna apply to college… My plan is to work for my uncle who is near your campus, "he recalled and Sieun nodded in agreement. “Then I will take over my father's business and make lots of money,” Sieun remembers that conversation.
He is well aware of Seongje’s family background. Sieun was surprised when he learned about Seongje’s parents; his father was a former fisherman with huge ambition who managed to grow in the industry, selling fresh products to large corporations in the food and hospitality industry.
Seongje’s family was loaded with money, but not everything was bright on the other side, and his father became greedy and abusive towards his mother and little sister.
In the end he left them and ended up with a prostitute who milks all his money, however, the old man still favored Seonje and although his boyfriend hates him he pretends not to do it, so he can inherit the business and kick out all the leeches that benefit from it.
“I know, I support you in your decision so… What changed?” He inquired, the worry in his voice was noticeable.
“You, Yeon Sieun,” he replied softly.
Sieun listened carefully to the reason he fabricated all these lies, and he got the truth out of Seongje’s mouth.
The secrecy of his frequent outings every night, the sudden interest in learning about Sieun’s studies, the Do Not Disturbed status for long hours, the cancelled plans and the documents filled with his personal information.
Seonje wasn't cheating on him nor was he up to anything shady and dangerous. The reality is… he is in fact studying, with an expensive tutor.
Seongje isn't just studying for the upcoming Cast. He is going for something much bigger.
His boyfriend is trying to be accepted into one of the Top 3 Universities of Korea, Yonsei.
All because of his partner Sieun.
Sieun startled and interrupted.
“Why would you do that?” He wants to understand better his thinking for going to such extremes.
Seongje continued and looked straight into Sieun’s eyes.
“I began to feel that you were wasting your precious time with a fucking nobody—that you'll meet someone else better than me, and soon or later youd throw me like an old toy who has lost its value and…” His eyes darkened.
“I’ve lost my fucking mind,” a huge sigh left Seongje’s mouth as if a burden had left his chest and was breathing again.
Sieun was the one who was going mad all these weeks because of Seongje and his irrational behavior.
Sieun saw his relieved expression and just wanted to slap that face, but he controlled his shitty temper and inquired further.
“So, do you really wanna study or is it only because you think I can leave you behind?” He was still angry, but inside he was hurt by those words. He took Seonje’s hands to bring any kind of reassurance he'd understand.
“Not really, at the beginning… but now I think I wanna try something I can take advantage of,” he was determined in his new goal.
“I realized that power isn’t only strength, I've been fighting all my life but now I see that power is also the ability to be above, to have impact and influence… And people respect others if they are wiser and ambitious,” Sieun could see the passion in his eyes and the honesty in his speech.
Sieun has only seen Seonje talk that way once, when he confessed his feelings.
“You may criticize me for my reasons, they aren’t as pure as yours. But I have you and I don’t wanna be someone else’s dog anymore,” he smirked. “I want to protect you, to spoil you and look after your needs, so that people think twice before trying to touch an inch of your hair,” people already fear Seongje, but when it comes to Sieun, punches aren’t enough.
”You are my only reason,” Seongje took Sieun’s hands and left little kisses on every knuckle, softly.
Sieun’s face turned red like a tomato and his heart rate increased due to Seongje’s statement. He was speechless, he never thought he'd find someone who can love him so passionately, but there's Seongje, willing to sacrifice everything and admitting his only dream is the boba-eyed boy who stabbed him on his foot when they first met.
“Geum Seongje, you… are still a crazy bastard, I love you,” Sieun brings the man closer and they kiss again.
Sieun wanted to say many things, his head was full of words he wanted to let out, but maybe his lips on his boyfriend can transfer his thoughts better. They kissed for a long time and cuddled again in bed.
The room is still cold and there’s still noise outside the building, but the couple is only focused on each other. Sieun is pressing his nose on Seonje’s neck, the smell of his cologne is addictive and soothing and that makes Sieun’s body stick closer to the taller man’s.
The atmosphere is perfect when they are together.
“Seongje…” He attracts his attention back.
“Hmm?”
“If you wanna enter Yonsei you don’t have to hire another person, I can help you study,” he moved a little away from Seonge’s body. “Honestly, I feel hurt you didn't ask me first and would rather create those silly excuses about The Union,” Sieun said with a cold voice, he hasn't forgotten all the lies he told to avoid Sieun’s questions.
“You said I'm smart but you prefer to cancel our little moments together and hire an unknown person.” He sounded offended.
“Are you angry about that now angel? haha! Come here and punch me now, but I can’t promise you I won’t enjoy it,” he scoffed and put Sieun’s hand on one of his cheeks.
Seongje knows he’s fucked up and he deserves it but is trying to lessen his punishment.
Instead of a slap he felt a punch on his stomach that left him breathless.
“Ouch… Do you wanna kill me babe?” Sieun doesn’t want to leave a mark on his boyfriend’s handsome face but is still pissed.
“Don’t call off our meetings again, I'm teaching you starting Monday. Got it?” It wasn't an advice, it was an order he has to obey.
“¡Yes, sir!” He raised his hand to his forehead and saluted. “I didn’t like it anyway, my father just hired a nerdy prick who is clearly afraid of me. I wanted to beat his ugly face when he told me I won’t be accepted,” he shrugged, he can definitely punch him in the face now that he'll be fired.
“You have to enter or the one who will beat your ass is me,” his voice was calm but his eyes showed he wasn’t lying.
“Challenge accepted, princess,” he smirked and approached to kiss Sieun.
Sieun was thrown on the bed, feeling the man's hand all over his chest and the tongue introducing into his mouth. Sieun followed his game and put his hand on his neck, pulling his hair and begging for more.
“Sieun… I promise, I won't hide anything from you again,” he doesn't wanna be the cause of his pain and insecurities anymore.
Sieun smiles and Seongje swears he has never seen something as beautiful as that expression.
He nodded.
“I trust you, Seongje.”
And they kissed again and again… and again.
They were together now and that's the only thing that mattered.