Chapter Text
“Itachi, I have a new job for you.” His cousin, and also his superior in the family’s hierarchy, Obito, said.
“What’s it?”
“Well,” He began. “first of all, you’ll have company… Don’t make that face.”
“What face?” Ok, maybe Itachi was making a face. He wasn’t a big fan of doing jobs with others , unless it was him.
“The face you make when you don’t like something.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said. “Just tell me which Uchiha I’m going with.”
“And that’s the catch.” Obito said while snapping his fingers. “You’re not going with an Uchiha.”
That’s new.
“Then who is it?”
His cousin coughed. “I made an alliance with the Akatsuki. You know them, right?” Itachi nodded. “Great. Well, basically, you and a member chosen by their boss will have to kill the leader of an organization that represents a threat to them. Pretty simple, right?”
“Indeed.” He just didn’t understand one thing. “But, what do we gain with killing the leader of this organization?” Maybe having the Akatsuki as an ally? Not sure if the Uchiha family would need it though. They aren’t exactly a big group.
Obito looked like he was about to say something difficult. Not good. “He was the one that killed Shisui.”
Itachi stopped breathing. Now he understands why all of this. It’s not about having a new ally. It’s uniting their common hatred towards someone else. It’s vengeance, Uchiha’s trading mark. And that’s something I really want to do.
“What’s the plan?”
He sighned and leaned back on his chair. “The Akatsuki member will be the one to make it. It was their deal. They have lots of intel.” It didn’t really please Itachi, but it didn’t seem to please Obito either. “And our lack of information was the reason for me to get in touch with them, so I guess it’s fair.”
“Well, meet the guy at the park near Ichiraku tomorrow at seven p.m.”
Itachi nodded and turned to leave, stopping with the hand on the door handle when he noticed Obito didn’t tell him something.
“You still didn’t tell me who the guy is.”
His cousin looked up from something in his computer. “Oh. It’s Hoshigaki Kisame.” He paused for a moment, looking like he was trying to remember something. “Tall and with blue hair. That’s all the description I got.”
With that, Itachi left the room.
______________
“Kisame, I have a job for you.” His boss, Pain, said. “You’ll need to murder the leader of the ANBU.”
“Wait, what?” This can’t be serious. “No offense, boss, but how do you expect me to kill this dude alone?!”
“Who said you would be alone?” Pain looked like he was already losing his patience. Perfect. “You’ll have a partner, of course.”
“Good- Wait. A partner? Just one?!” He’s starting to think that Pain got tired of him and is just sending him to die at this point. “Who the hell is the lucky Akatsuki member that’s in your blacklist just like me?”
“Could you please let me finish?” Ok, now he definitely lost his patience. “You’ll be going to do this job with Uchiha Itachi, also known as the Crow.”
“Wait.” Pain looked at him like he was ready to murder him on the spot. “Sorry. But, it’s Uchiha like in the Uchiha family?”
“Yes, it is. We made an alliance with them for the matter. And yes I do belive you two will be able to do it just fine.”
“Great, but what does the Uchiha benefit from killing the leader of the ANBU?”
“I don’t really know,” He seemed to think for a moment. “but knowing the Uchihas, it’s probably something related to revenge or the ANBU is becoming a treat for them too, since it’s growing so fast.”
“Makes sense, I think.” It’s actually Konan’s and Pain’s job to worry about alliances and those things, so he didn’t give it much thought. “Well, what’s the plan, then?
“You’ll create it. Use all the intel we have.” His boss said. “And meet him tomorrow at seven p.m. at the park near a restaurant named…” He paused, as if trying to remember the name. “Ichiraku. I was not the one who chose it.”
As Pain got up to leave, Kisame remembered to ask one last thing. “How will I know who he is? I kinda of need a description.”
“You’ll know it’s him when you see.”
______________
The park was almost empty, with just a few people walking or sitting at benches. On one of these, there was a man with long black hair looking at the view. Pain wasn’t kidding when he said he would know it was Uchiha Itachi when he saw him. The man sitting there, staring at nothing had… something that screamed “Uchiha”. And, he matched the description his boss gave when he begged for more information — the description, in fact, was of literally any average japanese person, but still. —.
Kisame then walked to where his new job-partner was and sat beside him. And waited. And waited. And waited more. And waited a lot more. And fucking waited more. Ok, this was getting insufferable. The guy didn’t even bat an eye at his direction. There is no away that he didn’t got a description of me, right? Maybe he was waiting for him to initiate contact. Ok, fair. I can do that.
“The sky is pretty tonight, don’t you think?” For fucksake. Why the hell did Kisame say that?! The sky is anything but pretty tonight. It has literally no stars.
“I don’t.” Kill me now.
With a cough, he tried again. Preferably with something that makes sense. “Hoshigaki Kisame.”
The long-haired man looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “If you’re introducing yourself, I guess you already know who I am.”
Damn. Yeah, he had heard some rumors about the Uchihas being stuck up dickheads, but he wasn’t really prepared for it.
After a beat of silence, the other man said. “What’s the plan?”
“Well,” Kisame began. “my intel got some interesting details. First of all, the ANBU is planning something big. They’re recruting basically anyone with fighting skills.”
“So,” The Uchiha said. “Your plan is to infiltrate.” He nodded. “But how should we find an ANBU member, show off our fighting skills and be recruited?”
“My intel also says they tend to frequent bars a lot, mainly Kirigakure.”
Kisame was actually feeling proud of himself. He had so much information about the ANBU. He was starting to think that maybe this job would be easy.
“That just answers one of my questions.”
“Oh, well…” That was the part of the plan he didn’t really want to tell. This is going to be so fucking awkward. “So, there is this small gang that also frequents Kirigakure and…”
“And?”
He coughed. “Hum, they’re kinda conservative, so I thought we could get in a fight with them.”
“And how should we do that?” He seemed to be losing his patience.
Fuck it. “We could pretend to be a couple. Since they’re conservative — and very homophobic — they will probably seek a fight with us.” Silence. Absolute silence. Even the wind seemed to stop blowing the leaves of the trees to appreciate his humiliation.
Also, during this infernal silence, The Uchiha looked at him fully for the first time since they started talking. Great. Kisame couldn’t really see in his face what he was thinking, but he could imagine. Something among the lines of killing him for this insult towards him and all the Uchiha family, probably.
Suddenly, he got up. I’m dying. But, instead of blowing his brains out with a gun, he turned to the direction of one of the exits of the park and said. “Ok. Lead the way, then.”
______________
The walk to the bar was quiet. Awkward quietly. But Kisame expected something way worse. The other being pissed, maybe. Thank God he didn’t seem like that. He seemed… ok, he couldn’t read the other man, but he’s hoping he’s not plaining his murderer.
“Hoshigaki?”
He was taken out of his thoughts by the Uchiha, who he realized was talking to him.
“I’m sorry, could you please repeat?”
He took a light sigh. “I asked if your intel is really reliable.”
A fair question. “Straight to the point, aren’t we?” Kisame gave him a crooked smile. “But, yes it is.” He doesn’t know why, but he felt the need to say more. “Our source is Orochimaru, the leader of the Sound, you know?”
Itachi suddenly stopped on his tracks. He looked like he had seen a ghost.
“You good? You look paler.”
“What did you say?”
“I asked if you’re alright.” The Hoshigaki was starting to be worried. Did he say something wrong?
“The other thing.”
He was confused for a moment, but then understood what he ment. “Oh, I said our source of information is Orochimaru from the Sound. Do you have a problem with him?”
The long-haired man seemed to finally pull himself together. “No, it’s just… Nevermind.” He coughed. “You don’t need to worry about it, Hoshigaki. My relantionship with Orochimaru isn’t going to affect this job, anyway.”
“You can call me Kisame.”
He looked at him for a moment. “Then you may call me Itachi as well.”
He came to a halt when he noticed they arrived at the bar. “We’re here.”
Itachi started walking toward the entrance until Kisame stopped him.
“I…” The other gave him a puzzled look and lowered his gaze towards his hand on his wrist. “Sorry.” He let the Uchiha’s wrist go while giving him an awkward smile. “I just.. Hum… Think we should go in there while holding hands ‘cause, you know… We’re a couple and it’ll probably attract the gang’s attention sooner…”
Itachi seemed to think for a bit before taking his hand in his own and guiding then towards the entrance.
Oh my God.
His hands were little calloused. Kisame wondered why though. He didn’t seem one to fight hand-to-hand. Guns could cause calluses, but it didn’t feel like the ones created by it… Anyway, his hands felt so good against his own. They seemed to fit so well, like they were made for each other…
What the fuck?! Why was he thinking about all that?! For fucksake, he met Itachi just now. And they were doing a job right now. And there would definitely be more situations like this one, since they’re pretending to be a couple… So, he nedded to settle himself.
“And what would you like, sir?” He was taken of his thoughts by the barman. He didn’t even notice they were already at the bar’s counter.
“Hum… Just a Heineken, please.”
The man got one glass bottle in the refrigerator and placed it in front of him.
Kisame started drinking the beer, but then, he felt something at his side.
“What are you doing?!” When he looked, Itachi was with his head layed on his shoulder.
“We’re a couple, aren’t we?” The man said matter-of-factly, while embracing his arm.
“This will make things faster.” He whispered right next to his ear. He felt his face getting hot. God.
“I…” Before he could formulate a proper answer, he was interrupted by a man screaming at them;
“Hey, faggots! This is a family place, y’know?”
Itachi turned to look at the man and gave him a blank stare.
“How can a bar be a family place?”
Ok, that’s actually a fair argument. And, considering Kirigakure’s a bar only frequented by criminals , it makes it an even better argument. Well, the guy seemed to get even angrier at that.
“Shut up, you fucking fag!” He toke a glass bottle in his hand and broke it by hitting on the table, making the thing a weapon. “I’m gonna make you two real men again.”
“You can try.” Kisame said. He had already put on his spiked brass knuckles — which spikes reminded shark teeths, by the way —. When he looked at his companion, he saw the Uchiha drawing a fucking katana from under his overcoat. What the hell?!
He didn’t had much time to be surprised, though, because one of the man’s gang-partner was driving a fist in his direction. Bare hands? Really? Kisame dodged, and the man ended up tripping and hitting the bar’s counter, staying layed there. This guy’s drunk.
He took the opportunity to puch the side of his stomach, leaving him incapacitated.
From the corner of this eye, he saw another man behind him with a broken bottle in hand, just like the first one. He was able to kick him in the chin, which made the guy fall back and hit his head with force on one of the bar’s benches before hitting the ground. Ouch.
Still, the guy got back on his feet, blood streaming from his head, and took a fighting stance. Good resistance. The two of them started a real hand-on-hand fight. Even with Kisame’s spiked brass knuckles, the man was lasting a good while. But, in the end, he won with a punch at his nose, that made the other fall to the ground. God, that’s a lot of blood.
When he looked up, he saw Itachi had already sliced the two idiots that had really thought they could win from a guy with a fucking katana — and that included the bastard that called them slurs —.
Suddenly, they heard a clapping sound coming from their side. There was a man with a bowl cut smilling at them.
“That was great! Definitely, the power of youth!”
What?
“Hum, thanks?” Who the hell is this crazy dude?
“Tell me, are you guys part of any gang or organization?”
“No.” Itachi said.
“Well,” The man started. “I’m part of the ANBU and we’re looking for people, would you be interested?”
Oh.