Archive of Our Own

i. kim taehyung 

Most people think that Kim Taehyung doesn’t break the rules when they first meet him. Or even when they’ve known each other for years. 

There’s a population who think that he won’t hurt a fly. He was friendly and always calm. He looked out for the younger students, helped anyone who needed tutoring, and always turned in his homework. He has never had a detention (false). The professors loved him. He was a prefect. Everyone was already expecting it before he was even a fifth year. No doubt he’ll probably become a contender for Head Boy as well. He was basically the role model of any role model. 

Then, there was another population—the one that knew him just a little bit more—who never necessarily thought of him as a stickler for rules but that he respected them enough to a certain level. He had a calm demeanor but Kim Taehyung was never to be crossed. They had a feeling it wouldn’t end well for them. He always looked like he knew more than he let on. 

And also because if word got out that someone tried to push Taehyung around or talked down on him, they would rather go to detention than endure a worse fate in the hands of…

Well, that leads to the next population of people.

“What do you think is out there?”

“Bunnies.”

“Magical bunnies.”

“Come on, we shouldn’t even be here.”

“It’s just a forest.”

“A forbidden forest.”

Jimin glanced at him, pushing his glasses up. “Aren’t you a little bit curious?”

“It’s obvious why they would call it forbidden,” replied Taehyung with a sigh. “There’s going to be dangerous creatures there.”

Jeongguk frowned. “Never really thought of you as a teacher's pet."

“A teacher’s pet doesn’t go to the restricted section of the library,” pointed out Jimin.

“I got one foot in before we were sent away with detention,” argued Taehyung.

“A teacher’s pet doesn’t have a detention.”

“Shut up.”

He glanced at his two roommates. They were both grinning at him so happily that Taehyung had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling back. He felt like his chest would burst at the thought of being a friend. Of having friends. Of being able to make his friends happy.

“We should really go back,” he muttered. “It’s almost time for dinner.”

It took a minute to convince them to head back to the castle. When they did, Taehyung was between the two as they chatted about dragons. Jimin talked about how he met a dragonologist a year ago and Jeongguk talked about how his family tried to buy a dragon egg. 

Taehyung wondered if there was a dragon sleeping in the Forbidden Forest. He wondered if the trees were all protected from dragon fire. He wondered if magical bunnies liked to sleep under its wing. 

He looked back at the forest just as they were nearing the castle grounds. How big must it be to be able to hide a dragon there? He shook his head and turned away only to meet Jeongguk’s stare. 

As if his roommate could read minds, the corners of Jeongguk’s mouth tugged up. 

Five days later, three of the Gryffindor first years had their second detention and they spent it cleaning trophies. Even as his back was starting to hurt from being hunched over, Taehyung found himself still laughing at the fresh memory of his two friends tripping over a root in the forest. 

“We didn’t find any bunny,” said Jeongguk, genuinely disappointed.

"Or a dragon," echoed Jimin. 

Taehyung bit the inside of his cheek and then let go after a moment. 

"We can find one next time," he said. 

Find the magical bunny? The dragon? Whatever Taehyung was referring to, both Jimin and Jeongguk turned to him with big smiles. This time, Taehyung let himself smile back.

ii. the secret keepers

The dormitory was a lot like a filing cabinet, in a sense that you can store so much information. It was Jimin who had made the observation in their second year. 

He had just come back from a detention, surprisingly not with Jeongguk. Very surprisingly, he was with Min Yoongi from the Slytherin house because they caused a disruption in the hallway. Unsurprisingly, Jimin came back from the detention with a new knowledge about muggle matters as he always does when he's with Yoongi. Hence, the filing cabinet. 

Of course, the conversation spiraled into: "wouldn't we be the filing cabinet since we are the ones carrying the information?"

Their main point in the end was that the dormitory has been a witness to daily information exchange about hidden passageways, elaborate plans for pranks, and the occasional (frequent) gossip among students and professors. Then, there were also the secrets. Shared in laughter and dramatics gasps. Shared in the dark after nightmares. Shared in whispers in broad daylight even if they were the only ones in the room. 

“Are you…” said Taehyung, feeling like the ground will give way. “Are you going to tell?”

Jimin frowned. “Why would we?”

“Because… because I’m a… because I’m dangerous.”

Jeongguk leaned in close and said in a whisper, “You do have a mean wandwork. I thought you’d blast me off last week during Defense.”

“I’m dangerous! I-I can hurt you. You shouldn’t even be friends with me.”

At that, Jimin and Jeongguk lost their smiles. They looked serious. Hurt. Sad. Taehyung had to turn away and he sat on his bed, snatching his Potions textbook on the bedside table so that he could put an end to their conversation. Maybe on their friendship. 

And Taehyung doesn’t want that. He didn’t want to stop talking to Jimin and Jeongguk. He didn’t want to stop sitting with them during class and breaks and meals. He wanted to keep hanging out with them by the lake and listen to Jimin babble on about Yoongi for the hundredth time. He wanted to keep reading the most ridiculous things Jeongguk would write on his notes during class. He wanted to practice magic with them. 

He wanted this kind of normalcy. He wanted warmth. He wanted friends, to become a friend, and to make his friends happy just as they make him happy. 

But he was dangerous and that’s why every full moon, he has to be taken down to the Shrieking Shack so he can’t hurt anyone. If anyone knew, parents would want him to leave and he’ll be expelled. Nevermind that it was the headmaster who urged him to attend, who gave him his acceptance letter. 

Then, he'll have to go back home and his mother would never say it because she doesn’t want to hurt him. He'll see it in her expression anyway. He should have never gone. It doesn't matter if he's magic or not. Monsters are monsters. 

His Potions textbook was taken from his hands and he couldn't find it in himself to look up, not when he could feel tears threatening to leak out of his eyes. 

The space on both sides of him dipped.

"Too bad," mumbled Jimin, nudging his side. "You're stuck with us."

"I'm not joking," said Taehyung, sniffling. 

"Well," said Jeongguk. "Neither are we.”

Jimin sighed. “We’re serious. I need you to explain all the muggle stuff Yoongi keeps on talking about because he knows I know nothing about them. He’s going to be so annoying.”

“Are you really going to leave me with him?” asked Jeongguk to Taehyung, nodding towards Jimin. “I can’t go through that for twenty more years and by then, he would still be avoiding his huge crush on Yoongi.”

“I am not crushing on Yoongi,” argued Jimin, sitting up straight and raking a hand through his mess of hair. “And you’re both stuck with me for fifty more years.”

“That’s fifty years of avoiding your huge crush on Yoongi.”

“I’m not crushing on him!”

And then there was wrestling and tumbling with Taehyung caught in the crossfire. A laugh bursted out of him just as his tears escaped. Still, he let himself be pushed down by Jimin as their laughter resounded in the room. Jeongguk yelped when a hand came to swat at him and he was yanked down, landing beside Taehyung who had Jimin on his other side. 

Growing limbs tangled together, breathless giggles, one slap, and two elbow jabs. 

When the room was all but quiet again, Taehyung felt a finger tracing his temple, tracing a scar, tracing his tear tracks.

“We won’t tell,” whispered Jeongguk. “And we’ll always be friends.”

“Fifty more years?” asked Taehyung.

Jimin let out a breath, seemingly content with his eyes closed. “And a hundred.”

And a hundred. Taehyung echoed in his mind. 

iii. the rule breakers

Jimin and Jeongguk were something of a duo. Brilliant in class, both in theory and application. Disruptive but brilliant, no doubt. Clever with their words even though they can be exasperating. Others found them to be annoying because either they couldn’t win an argument against them or they couldn’t wheedle any information out of them. They were admirably loyal to friends even if they would get into trouble. 

And trouble. Oh, they were trouble. Every student and teacher knew that Park Jimin and Jeon Jeongguk were a handful. Mischief-making didn’t venture into anything harmful (debatable). No one wanted to be in the line of fire anyway, unless you were one of the pricks spreading purity manifestos.

“Clever rascals,” a professor once muttered as he passed by a scene of absolute chaos at the school grounds.  

“Detention, Park Jimin!” came a shrill voice from the other side of the courtyard. “And you too, Jeon Jeongguk!”

They were already quite popular in their first year, gaining the air of mystery quickly as to how they come up with their pranks, what tricks they have up their sleeves or what kind of secrets they know. Even the professors have taken a liking to them despite the number of detentions they give to the two in a span of a week.

When students ask Taehyung if he’s jealous or if he feels left out that his two friends are quite the life of the party, he just shrugs.

“I think they’re idiots,” he doesn’t say but he always thinks that whenever Jimin and Jeongguk manage to pull off a ridiculous stunt that he, himself, had thought of and warned them against doing. 

People don’t really expect Kim Taehyung, the supposedly responsible one of the trio, to be the mastermind of any mischief. Or to be one of the creators of a very promising map of the whole school that is currently a work in progress. ("I say we should have a spell that would reveal and hide the contents of this map." "Well, what happens when someone realizes this is no ordinary map and tries to pick it apart?"). His bestfriends are rule-breakers. It’s not such an impossible idea that he is one too. 

But then again, it’s not like he actively corrects anyone anyway. 

Sometimes, he does wonder how far their rule-breaking can go. 

“Don’t cut my tongue o- ack! ”

When Taehyung opened the door to their room, he was met with the sight of Jeongguk coughing his lungs out while Jimin was close to falling off his bed because he was laughing too hard. 

“What are you doing?” asked Taehyung as he set down his bag on the floor. 

Almost instantly, the two righted themselves. Or at least tried to because both of them still had tears in their eyes for entirely different reasons. Taehyung sighed.

“What did you do?” he asked again.

“Well,” said Jimin, pushing his glasses up with his wand. “We… were trying out new spells."

"Jimin almost killed me," Jeongguk coughed out. 

Jimin rolled his eyes. "You're being dramatic. Hey, Tae, here's a situation.

“You just did a heist and you need some place to hide what you have stolen. You choose to put it in your mouth-"

"How big is this object?" cut in Taehyung. 

"Miniature," replied Jimin. "It's leaf-sized. Anyway, shush. You need to stick it on the roof of your mouth so it doesn't fall off when you need to talk your way out of the crime scene."

"Or choke on it," added Jeongguk. "Or accidentally swallow it."

Taehyung frowned. "That's oddly specific. Have you tried not hiding it in your mouth?"

"Pockets are overrated," said Jeongguk. "Why can't mouths be the carrier of stolen things?"

"Why does anything have to be stolen?" asked Taehyung.

"You're ruining the fun, Tae."

"I'm concerned."

“Don’t worry. Everything is hypothetical.”

They looked at him, waiting. Taehyung knew he wasn’t going to get anything out of them. Not yet, anyway. So, he took out his wand and muttered a charm that he learned from Jung Hoseok a year ago. Jimin and Jeongguk took theirs out along with a leaf. A harmless-looking leaf that they probably picked from the grounds or the greenhouses.

“Hypothetical?” repeated Taehyung.

“Completely,” answered Jimin with his fingers in his mouth. 

“But how do you unstick this?” asked Jeongguk.

The hypothetical situation went on and off for almost the whole of their fourth year. Sometimes, there were months when Jimin and Jeongguk would be suspiciously quiet. Taehyung asked about it the first few times and they would scribble their answers on parchments. 

We're doing a silent strike

trying to meditate and learning the meaning of life

just testing how long before yoongi admits he misses hearing my angelic voice

         shut up jimin

just Because

I realized that i have been wasting precious time speaking 

turning a NEW PAGE! NEW ME

in silence we find peace

There was one time he cornered Jeongguk in one of the third floor hallways.

"What are you up to?" he asked.

Jeongguk shrugged. 

"Come on, Gguk-ah."

Jeongguk shifted on his feet, looking like he wanted to run away. He looked close to breaking so quickly which was surprising because he was usually so unperturbed and he was often the one getting anyone else to spill their secrets. Still, Taehyung saw the opportunity. He held on to Jeongguk’s shoulders and looked him directly in the eyes.

"Tell me, please?"

Jeongguk let out a breath and Taehyung smelled something strange, almost something sweet like apples. He stepped closer and Jeongguk coughed and pulled away from him.

“Were you drinking?” asked Taehyung, frowning. “Where did you even… did you swipe something from the professors? Slipped in a bottle?”

“I wasn’t drinking!” defended Jeongguk. 

“Well, why does your breath smell like that?”

“Because… I was drinking.”

Taehyung glared at him. “Are you really not going to tell me?”

“I will,” said Jeongguk. “We will. Promise. It’s not anything dangerous and… what? Why are you looking at me like that? Don’t come any closer.”

Because Taehyung had been looking at his mouth, leaning forward with narrowed eyes.  

“You’re talking weird,” muttered Taehyung, still trying to come closer.

Jeongguk cupped a hand over his mouth. “No, I’m not.”

“You talk… like…”

“Like what?”

“Like you have something stuck on the roof of your mouth, Jeongguk-ah.”

The leaves from several months ago. 

Taehyung tried to remember what they looked like. And was there really a leaf stuck to the roof of Jeongguk’s mouth? 

A ridiculous idea was forming in Taehyung’s head and he couldn’t even voice it out. It was something mentioned in a lecture during their third year. It was a complicated process, dangerous even because it involves transformation. It was too big of a stunt. Was it even a stunt? Would this become the peak of their rule-breaking? Because they’re not only breaking the school’s rules but also of the whole wizarding world. 

“Taehyung-ah,” spoke Jeongguk, voice gentle as if he didn't want to startle him. "Don't think too much about it. Just trust us, okay?"

And of course, Taehyung is going to do the opposite because he has always had too much to think about anyway. 

"Don't do anything stupid," he said weakly. 

And Jeongguk grinned. Oh, he is trouble. 

"You’re asking a lot but trust me, Tae, this is way beyond stupid.”

_

He once thought that should Jimin and Jeongguk finally confirm his suspicions, he wouldn’t be surprised. He wouldn’t even be surprised if their efforts come into full fruition. Sure, they could impress him. But surprise him? 

Taehyung was determined to keep a straight face.

When the day finally came, they were four months into their fifth year. It was a clear afternoon and the three of them went up to their dormitory to drop off their bags so they could lounge around by the lake. He laid on his bed for a moment as the other two puttered around the room. He supposed this was how the elderly felt, aching all over and like all their bones were close to breaking and turning to dust. The full moon was approaching and it has never been easy for him. 

Suddenly, there was a huff. Not the human kind of huffing but an animal huff. Then a snuffle. 

Taehyung raised his head, mindful of keeping his expression neutral because standing in the center of the room was a fawn and a dog. Something must have still shown on his face though because at that moment, he felt such an immense sense of amazement and pride for his bestfriends. 

The fawn already had growing antlers, coat brown and dotted with white. Shifting on its four legs, its hooves made light clopping sounds on the floor. It stared directly at Taehyung, head tilting as if to analyze him. Next to it was a black dog, growing like its companion and looking so innocent with its flopped ears that Taehyung just wanted to scoop it up in his arms. 

If he wasn’t aware of the fact that his bestfriends were attempting to become animagi since last year, he would have thought the fawn and dog were real animals. 

“You’re insane,” he managed to say, a little breathless. 

Then came a bark followed by shushing and more clopping sounds. 

Taehyung was even more amazed at seeing the fawn shift into Jimin and the dog into Jeongguk. Five years studying magic and he will never not be blown away by how wonderful it could be. It was even more astonishing to see his friends reach different heights of learning it at their age. They will worry about the law later but right now, Taehyung just wanted to know how they managed to become animagi.

They never got down to the lake, two of their other roommates came in and out, and they continued to talk. Taehyung was sitting on the floor, back resting against the bed when they finally got to the reason as to why Jimin and Jeongguk decided to become animagi. 

Even though he was exhausted, feeling like all his bones will break and turn to dust, he still managed to say:

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

iv. jeon jeongguk 

Jeon Jeongguk didn't have a grand dream. 

He wasn't like Jimin who dreamt of getting into the national Quidditch team (and probably living a happy life with Yoongi). He wasn't like Yoongi, who wanted to travel around the world, write, and learn every country's history of magic. He wasn’t like Hoseok-hyung who plans to be a potioneer. He wasn’t like Seokjin-hyung and Namjoon-hyung who dreamt of becoming curse-breakers. He didn’t know what Taehyung’s dream was. Every time the topic of the future came up, it was always a shrug or a “don’t know yet”. 

Jeongguk could sympathize with that. His parents had a lot to say about that, though, along with some other things.  

“So you just left?” asked Taehyung.

“It was long overdue anyway,” replied Jeongguk. “I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out earlier. I guess they wanted everyone to see me at my father’s birthday celebration first, you know? Let them know that their eldest son is alive and well.”

Taehyung hummed, eyes following the golden snitch flitting around Jimin’s room. “What’s going to happen when the next party comes then?"

"They're probably going to announce I'm dead and everyone will act like they are grieving with my parents but they are actually joyous that the eldest Jeon child is dead. The traitor to the lot will not carry the Jeon legacy, he won’t inherit the family wealth, won’t pass down his parents’ wisdom, won’t continue to keep the house of the Jeons alive when his parents die. But you know, it’s them. They’re probably going to find some other ways to stay alive. Do you know the saying that goes evil people live longer? That’s them.”

Jeongguk refrained from huffing and unclenched his hands. He wasn’t mad about the inheritance or the family reputation. He wasn’t mad about what their relatives would eventually say or what they have already been saying. He wasn’t mad that he was disowned. What he was mad about was that it took him so long to leave, that there was always a part of him that believed something would change. He was mad that he was so afraid. 

He was mad that he walked out of that house alone, that Jeonghwa had been waiting for him outside his room as he packed his bag. 

“Get your things,” he had said. “You can’t stay here. Jeonghwa, you can’t. Come with me.”

Jeonghwa smiled at him, tight-lipped. “I can’t ask you to stay so you can’t ask me to leave, hyung.”

Jeongguk was mad that in the end, he left. He had stayed for so long in that house, why couldn’t he just be strong for a while more? And so he took the Knight Bus and cried all the way to Jimin’s house. 

“It’s not your fault, Jeongguk-ah.”

He let his head thunk on the headboard behind him and looked at Taehyung who sat near the window. Jimin wrote to him about what happened with Jeongguk and when Taehyung wrote back that he would be coming to see them, Jimin insisted on bringing enough clothes until the new school year starts. Taehyung arrived with just enough for a week, saying that he can’t stay for long because his mother needs him around the house. 

He looked exhausted with a new scar on his jaw. 

Now, he looked at Jeongguk with a small smile. Jeongguk let himself smile back.

The golden snitch flew right past him and dove down, right into Jimin’s hand. It was given to him by one of the players of Puddlemere United and even though Jimin was a Chaser for the Gryffindor team, he was thrilled nonetheless. 

“How’s it going with Yoongi?” asked Jeongguk.

Jimin, who was on his back on the floor, blinked at the ceiling. “Fine.”

“What does that mean?” said Taehyung. “Weren’t you exchanging letters?”

“I could have sworn I saw Yoongi’s owl leave just this morning,” added Jeongguk.

“Well, yeah," said Jimin. "We're sending letters to each other. He sent one today."

Jeongguk exchanged a look with Taehyung who shrugged. 

"And how is it?" asked Jeongguk. 

“We’re getting along,” replied Jimin. “It’s just… nice. He was talking about this new bookstore and how he was going to ask his sister to come with him but… well, they’re having problems.”

“Are you going to go with Yoongi then?” asked Taehyung. 

“Why?”

Taehyung and Jeongguk shared another quick glance. 

“Nothing,” shrugged Taehyung, moving to sit on the bed. “Just thought that must be why you’re having a crisis and haven’t spoken much since this morning.”

They leaned over the bed to look down on Jimin who threw an arm over his eyes to avoid meeting their gaze. He let out a little ‘ow’ when his glasses pressed too hard on his face. 

“I’ve been so stupid, haven’t I?” he asked.

Rhetorically, of course. Jeongguk sighed.

“Which incident are we talking about? Because if we’re talking about the halloween party back in fourth year, you were almost at your peak stupidity.”

Jimin groaned. “And you were right beside me getting that detention. And no, it’s not an incident… just my whole existence.”

“I think you’re a joy, to be honest,” piped in Taehyung.

“You called me annoying last night!” said Jimin. 

“I’ve been telling you you’re annoying since we were eleven.”

“I should have listened to you then.”

“I really doubt you would have.”

“That’s just the kind of reassurance and support that I was expecting.”

He let go of the golden snitch once more and let it fly around the room. Jeongguk couldn’t bother to keep up with it. He was better at seeing things speeding towards him and his teammates and batting them to the opposing side. It did remind him that they would have to find a new Seeker since their last one has already graduated. He smiled at the thought of Jimin leading the trials soon, seeing as he was the newly-appointed captain of the Gryffindor team. 

“We’re getting along well,” spoke Jimin. “Me and Yoongi.”

“You told us, yeah,” said Jeongguk. “So what’s the problem? Do you think you’re going to mess it up?”

Jimin pulled himself up into a sitting position and dragged himself up on the bed. “What if I do? Yoongi has hated me for years and now we can be in each other’s presence for more than an hour, we still get into arguments but he smiles when I make a joke, we said goodbye at the platform, and now we’re exchanging letters.”

“Hate is a very strong word to use, Jimin-ah,” interjected Taehyung.

“We all literally hear him say it every year,” argued Jimin. 

True. 

The snitch flitted past them which Jeongguk saw coming this time. Then, it was gone again. 

“Yoongi has known you for years now,” he said. “I’d say he has definitely seen you at your worst behavior but now you are exchanging letters and he’s telling you about a bookstore.”

“He’s right,” agreed Taehyung. “What else can you do that could possibly ruin your already blooming friendship?”

Jimin didn’t answer and just let himself fall back on the bed, staring once more at the ceiling. Jeongguk met Taehyung’s eyes again and he knew that they must be thinking of the same thing. Jimin has always skirted around the topic of having a crush on Yoongi. He would either deny it or just ignore their comments. Of course, a crush could eventually disappear. It has been years and Jimin hasn't done anything about it. But Jeongguk has seen the way he steals glances at Yoongi from across the room, sees the way his smile turns gentle when Yoongi laughs at his jokes. He has seen the way Jimin enters the room and his eyes would sweep over everyone, trying to find a familiar redhead. 

Jeongguk was pretty sure Jimin searches for Yoongi's name on the map every time they take it out. 

And so the question: what else could he do that could possibly ruin his friendship with Yoongi? 

"You're going to be fine, Jimin-ah," consoled Taehyung. "Right, Gguk-ah? Back me up on this."

Jeongguk glanced at him—Taehyung, not Jimin—and nodded. 

"Yeah," he mumbled. 

"See," said Taehyung to Jimin. "How's that for reassurance and support?"

"Could do with less enthusiasm, actually,” said Jimin, dryly.

"You could do with more."

And on their day would go, cooped up in Jimin's room, talking about anything and everything. 

And tomorrow, they will go to the city and maybe they could try to meet Yoongi at the bookstore he was talking about. Maybe they can get food afterwards and explore the neighborhoods. Jeongguk can see all the places he was never allowed to talk about with people his family hated so much. Then, they will go back to the Parks' home. (It's your home too, Jeongguk-ah," Jimin's mom would say.)

And then several more weeks later, maybe they'll be getting their new books and supplies. Jeongguk hopes he won't see his parents but he can worry about that later.

For now, after finally emerging from Jimin's room, eating dinner, and then retreating to his own bedroom, Taehyung comes in with a knock.

"You got the seventh guest room then?" he said with a smile.

Jeongguk was sitting on the floor and he leaned back against the side of the bed. "Jimin was going to offer the next one as a closet room."

"And you refused?" asked Taehyung, coming to sit behind him. 

"Well," said Jeongguk. "Seeing as I came here with only my trunk and a single piece of candy, I really have no reason for using the castle of a room next door. Perhaps you have a need for it."

"Yeah, let me just go get my sacks of gold downstairs."

"I've always admired rich men, you know?"

"How very practical of you."

“I have taste.”

Taehyung looked at him. “I know Jimin must have been coddling you since you came here but I just wanted to check up on you too.”

“Rich and caring, eh?” 

In response, Jeongguk got a hand on his face, shoving him away lightly. 

"I always knew you liked me, Taehyung-ah," he laughed. 

Taehyung flicked him on the forehead and pulled away. "Be serious, will you?"

"Fine," said Jeongguk, sitting up properly. "I'm being serious when I say that I'm fine. I'm here, aren't I?"

"I know you're here," said Taehyung. "This is the best place you could come to but it mustn't have been easy."

It wasn't. When he was on the bus, Jeongguk felt like with every sob that escaped him, he was close to dying. 

"It wasn't but I couldn't stay there forever."

"I'm glad you didn't."

Taehyung held on to his hand and Jeongguk squeezed his back. For a moment, they stayed in silence, reveling in its peace. It was different from the silence in his family’s house where it was suffocating. It was deafening at times. Whenever it was broken, all Jeongguk heard were screams. 

His first night at the Parks’ home, he went to Jimin’s room. Jimin was already asleep but when Jeongguk laid beside him, he threw an arm around him, much like how he always did whenever Jeongguk had a nightmare and he would slip into Jimin’s bed at their dorm. 

When he cried himself to sleep, Jimin only held him closer.

“I'll let you rest then?” asked Taehyung, his hold loosening. 

It took Jeongguk a second to realize he had tensed unconsciously and he was almost clutching Taehyung's hand in a death grip. He opened his mouth to speak, to say a joke or something but nothing fell out. He was starting to let go when Taehyung caught his hand. 

"On second thought," said Taehyung in a gentle tone. "I'd really like to discuss how rich and caring you think I am."

"Would like to see the sacks of gold first," quipped Jeongguk. 

"Then I guess I'll just be the caring one today."

"I'd really like to see the gold, Taehyung-ah."

Taehyung laughed which never failed to make Jeongguk smile. 

Ever since he was young, he always feared who he might become, what he might do, where he could end up. He was afraid of becoming like his family. His mother did always say that he was meant for the Dark Arts. No matter how determined he was that he wouldn’t end up like them, he was always afraid that there wasn't going to be a way out. 

Then he met Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung and they made him feel like he could blast down the walls instead of finding doors to escape through.

As much as it guilts him, he was also glad he had Mr. and Mrs. Park. They were good people, the kindest, and Jeongguk loved them with all his heart. 

He didn't have a grand dream like the others but he had Jimin and Taehyung and he will forever be grateful that he stayed with them in that train compartment when they were first years. Sometimes, it haunts him to think about what his life could have turned out to be if he had walked past.

And he had this moment right here. Taehyung is still holding his hand, warm and comfortable against his side. It would be grand if he could have this for a long time. 

v. the grand idiots

“Hey, blood traitor!” 

It would be easy to just cast a spell but he told himself he would never stoop so low. Hyunwoo is all bark and even if he did bite, he would be the first one to be disarmed and blasted off his feet. So, no, Jeongguk wouldn’t waste his time on him or any of his other cousins. Why couldn't their parents send them off to international schools? Because now one of them is bothering him when he's supposed to look out for potential players for the Gryffindor team. 

Jimin had asked him to help out from the stands only because Jeongguk kept on complaining about sitting on a broom for hours. 

“How does it feel to be disowned?” came Hyunwoo’s question followed by snickers from his friends.

Jeongguk sighed. “Careful now. You don’t want to be seen associating with a blood traitor. What would your dear mother say if she finds out?”

“That I should have pushed you off?”

Quite a fall it would have been, Jeongguk thought as he looked at the ground from a good fifty feet at least. 

But no, the Jeons wouldn’t resort to such a method. 

He hated that he knew how his family would get the job done. 

Jeongguk stumbled forward as he felt Hyunwoo push him from behind. A third-year flier whizzed past them and Jeongguk tried to focus on him. 

"You know," said Hyunwoo. "Just because you're disowned does not mean you are free to run around with your friends. You think you're safe but you just made an enemy out of your family and now you've put your friends in danger too."

"Will you fucking shut up?" gritted out Jeongguk.

"You’re going to get yourself killed. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of us did the work, Jeongguk-ah.”

Another push. 

The third-year dove down and from somewhere, Jeongguk heard Jimin let out a ‘whoop’. It looks like Jimin also has his eyes on the flier. 

“Park Jimin and his parents will get their turn too.”

He was already halfway to pulling out the wand from his pocket when someone gripped his arm. It gave him a second of clarity and he turned his head to see Yoongi.

“Hyunwoo,” said Yoongi. “Professor Choi has been looking for you since this morning. He’s still at his office.”

“What does he need?” asked Hyunwoo, irritated.

Yoongi shrugged. “Go find that out for yourself.”

But they all already knew anyway. It’s no secret that Hyunwoo is failing Charms. Jeongguk smiled at him thinly, aware that Yoongi still had a tight hold on his arm. He didn’t let go of his wand. 

“You better go, Hyunwoo,” he said. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint mommy dearest when Professor Choi sends out another letter.”

“Jeongguk-ah,” said Hyunwoo with a snicker. “I think you should be the last person to talk about letting down their parents.”

“But I’m the poster child for that very thing, cousin.”

"You certainly are the family disappointment. We all knew that anyway.”

Then, Hyunwoo shouldered him as he walked past and all his friends followed him like some goons. Yoongi muttered the same thing from beside him before letting go and plopping down on the bench. 

Jeongguk, struggling not to pull back Hyunwoo by his robes, turned to Yoongi. He didn’t want to lose control, to show that he was affected. He can’t. His mother would be overjoyed if the news reached her. 

“My hero,” he mused as he looked down at Yoongi who rolled his eyes. “Was Professor Choi actually looking for him?”

Yoongi sniffed, pretending to be invested in the tryouts before them. Jeongguk smiled and sat down beside him. Inside his pocket, he loosened his hold on his wand. No doubt the ridges are imprinted on his palm now. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

“Your cousin is a joy,” spoke Yoongi.

“You think so?” asked Jeongguk.

“You must love having him around during family reunions.”

“Who else is going to spread love and kindness within our blasted family?”

Hyunwoo in family reunions wasn’t any different from seeing him in school. He was still annoying. Jeongguk still thought of putting him to immediate sleep whenever he came to gloat and torment. He has never liked him since they were young. Hyunwoo talked like his mother, callous and opinionated. Hyunwoo acted like his father, with slow but cruel hands. 

Sometimes, Jeongguk wondered if his cousin ever found similar qualities between him and his own parents. Was he ever, at some point, the son that his mother and father wanted him to be? He hoped not. He hated to think he had given his parents a reason to be satisfied with their efforts. 

"How about you?" asked Jeongguk to Yoongi. "Are you the life of the party at your reunions? You must be. You've got to be the most interesting because you have the magic tricks up your sleeves."

Yoongi still hasn't spared him a glance but even then, Jeongguk saw the slight upward quirk from the corner of his mouth. 

"My sister's not too amused with the magic tricks," he said. "Besides, we don't have those reunions that much. It’s always a mess anyway."

"That sucks," remarked Jeongguk. "I was hoping to get invited to yours because I'm definitely never getting invited to mine anymore."

"Such a loss."

"I know, right? How dare they deprive themselves of a presence so important?"

“Ah. What a family.”

At that, Jeongguk let out a sigh and made a sound of agreement.

What a family indeed. What was its shape for him? What did it sound like? What did it feel like? He could only remember the smooth oak of the dining table because that’s all he could stare at for a long time when all of them were eating together. Jeongguk can only conjure up searing pain as he would writhe on the floor. Or the sting on his cheek whenever he would speak out of turn. He could only recall the muffled cries of Jeonghwa from the next room. There were the murmurs of paintings in the hallways, the digging of the tip of a wand on his cheek as his mother stood over him and his father drank his tea. 

“You’re living with Jimin now?” asked Yoongi.

Jeongguk smiled at him. “Did Jimin write that to you?”

“I distinctly remember him complaining about you being such an early riser.”

Yoongi ignored the knowing look he’s been giving him. As expected from Min Yoongi, he’ll exert every effort to remain casual or be ignorant just so he could not fall for any bait when it comes to Park Jimin. Too bad it has the opposite effect. Jeongguk let it pass because what’s life without a little entertainment and idiocy?

“We’ve been sharing a room since we were eleven. He’s used to it.”

“I did point that out but he said he would appreciate it if you would stop hammering at his door to wake him up.”

“Taehyung doesn’t mind.”

“I reckon Taehyung can sleep through an explosion.”

Jeongguk hummed in agreement. It was a nightmare to drag Taehyung out of bed. He loved the warmth of his covers and his pillows too much even though he was already like a running furnace. It was especially hard to wake him when it was raining. It was something about the sound of rain hitting the roof and the windows. Taehyung had once mumbled that to him before he promptly went back to sleep. Jeongguk had let him and he stayed with him for almost the whole day. 

Now, whenever it rains, he thinks of him. He thinks of Taehyung burrowing deeper into the covers, head almost under his pillow, hair mussed. He thinks of Taehyung struggling to open his eyes, finding him after a good minute, reaching out a hand and letting it dangle off the edge of the bed. He thinks of holding his hand. 

Whenever it rains, he wants to hold Taehyung’s hand. 

“Anyway,” continued Yoongi. “Jimin says you have favorites when it comes to you waking them up.”

He doesn’t miss the knowing look now thrown at him. 

“That’s him being fussy in the mornings,” he said with a sigh. “You’ll see how much of a problem he is when you live together.”

Yoongi cleared his throat. “We’ve all known each other since we were eleven, I already know how much of a problem he is.”

What is life without a little entertainment and idiocy?

vi. the grand moment

The truth is that even if it wasn’t raining, he still wants to hold Taehyung’s hand. 

They were eleven the first time he did. They were running through the halls and Taehyung was lagging behind. It wouldn't be such a problem if the caretaker wasn't chasing them and trying to get a good look at their faces to be reported to the Head of their house. Jimin was ahead of them, laughing with ash and soot on his face and his hands. Jeongguk wondered how he was seeing through his glasses. 

"You're insane," wheezed Taehyung from behind.

Jeongguk grinned. "It was your plan, Kim Taehyung. Out of the three of us, I think you're the bad influence."

Taehyung was affronted at that and was going to defend himself but he was out of breath. He slowed down, doubled over, and leaned on his knees. Jeongguk went back for him, grabbed hold of his hand, and pulled him. Taehyung complained but the shouts from behind them were apparently enough to push him running again. 

It wasn't anything significant. Maybe it was. All Jeongguk knew was that he still remembers it and how he hadn't let go until they were back in their common room and Jimin collapsed on the carpet. Taehyung had pulled Jeongguk down with him and all three of them laid there, chests heaving.

Jeongguk let go then, only to flick Taehyung's forehead who squirmed away from him. 

"Run, Taehyung-ah," he said and then they all burst out laughing. 

He laid back down, a hair's breadth between their fingers. 

He was sure they held hands more times since then. Some he forgot, others he couldn't understand why they kept him up at night. 

He does remember the time he finally did understand. 

Taehyung was in bed, pale, tired, and with a new scar just above his right eyebrow. Jimin was sitting up against the headboard, dipping into the chocolate stash they had been adding to Taehyung's drawer, and exchanging worried glances with Jeongguk. 

"You should be at class," grogged out Taehyung. 

"Sure," quipped Jimin. 

"Jimin."

"Eh."

"Who's going to take notes?"

"Do you want me to take notes? You called my handwriting chicken scrawl last week."

Taehyung glanced at Jeongguk. "You have the best handwriting out of us three."

"Since when was I the designated notetaker?" asked Jeongguk. 

"So we'll all just fail Transfiguration?" sighed Taehyung. 

"Don't be dramatic, Taehyung-ah," said Jimin. "I know you've already gone through the whole book."

"Am I ever that diligent? I know you've read through the book before the semester even began."

Most would not expect it but Taehyung hated studying and doing his homeworks. He was fine with reading but he loved it more when it was a fictional novel he was holding. He frequently procrastinated, complaining under his breath why they even need to write for two parchments when it could all be summed up in one. Or maybe a half of it. But he never skipped a class (except for a few days before and after a full moon which had been suspicious back then), always turned in his homework, wrote down notes, had an answer ready when a professor called him. Is he ever that diligent? Yes, Jeongguk would say. He was just humble. 

And most would not expect it but Jimin liked studying. He liked doing his homeworks early. It's how he has so much time doing other things he's been landing detentions for. Jimin liked learning. He liked theories and applications. He would browse through their books for the year and some more in their library at home. He took notes but only for the sake of it. Like Taehyung, he had an answer for every question from the professor. The only problem with his homeworks was his handwriting. And like Taehyung, Jeongguk would say that Jimin was just humble but only on very select occasions. 

As for him, a lot of what he knows was already drilled into him from a young age. His mother wasted no time in teaching him. When she wasn't there, the tutors took her place. He was trained to have a neat handwriting, always legible, always tasked to copy lessons from books to parchments as practice. It was because of that that he couldn't help but take down notes like it was muscle memory in class. It was because of his notetaking that Taehyung tapped on the space beside his hand that was resting on the bed.

"Be the hero," he mumbled. 

"And let you have all the fun?" asked Jeongguk. "Forget it."

"Remember the fourth rule?"

Jimin made a sound. "We don't have a fourth rule."

"We do now," said Taehyung, words already slurring. "Whenever one is sick, someone has to take notes."

"Okay," agreed Jimin, which Jeongguk balked at. "But since this was discussed on such short notice, it can't be implemented today."

Taehyung groaned at that which made him look even more sickly. 

"We'll borrow notes from others, you drama queen," Jeongguk finally said. 

He didn't know why he made an effort to sound exasperated. Taehyung didn't seem to care and nodded with his eyes closed. 

"I'll sleep like a queen then," he mumbled.

His finger twitched. Jeongguk thought it was an involuntary movement but then Taehyung's index finger hooked on his and squeezed just the slightest bit.

Something seemed to click within him. Maybe it was a shift. A nudge to a puzzle piece, fitting right into the empty space. Shouldn't it have been a burst of fireworks? The rolling of barrels down a flight of stairs like that one time during their second year? The exhilarating feeling of running? Of escaping? Of making an explosion? Shouldn't it have been something so big, something so obvious right from the start? 

But it wasn't. 

At that moment, Jeongguk just exhaled and squeezed Taehyung's finger with his own. 

vii. park jimin

Park Jimin has been called an idiot a couple of times by various people. His parents, a few neighbors, a couple of professors, Jeongguk, Taehyung, their seniors, and Yoongi. No doubt. 

"You're a fucking idiot," gritted out Jeonghwa as he towered over him. 

And now Jeon Jeonghwa, apparently. 

"I'm so used to hearing that version of thank you," said Jimin. "It's not gratifying anymore."

They were currently on the ground floor of the castle, situated at the bottom of one of the staircases. Jimin could feel an ache on his jaw and he was sure he would be sporting a bruise by the next day. Jeonghwa had a cut on his cheek and a bloody lip. 

In return for that, Jimin had blasted Hyunwoo off his feet and socked one of his goons. 

He was on his way to their dormitory after being in the courtyard, taking the long route to clear his mind, to let himself think before the noise of the common room. It was just unfortunate he stumbled upon a scene in one of the corridors. It was fortunate he was there when wands were drawn and Hyunwoo started running off his mouth. Jimin never did like him. 

"That wasn't yours to deal with," said Jeonghwa. 

He looked so much like Jeongguk which was a given since they were brothers. But from his place, seated on the stairs, Jimin recognized the curl of his shoulders, the clench of his fists, the hardened eyes, the feeling that Jimin didn't know if Jeonghwa was going to lash out or run away. 

"I was passing through," shrugged Jimin. "You guys were in the way."

Jeonghwa glared even more at him. "You’re stupid."

"Certainly not as stupid as you fighting against four people."

"I can handle myself."

"Between us two, who has more injuries?"

"I'll give you one so we're even."

Jimin straightened his glasses with a sigh. One of the lenses had cracked earlier.

"You're welcome, Jeonghwa," he said. "Next time, just glue Hyunwoo's mouth shut. He's shit at non-verbal spells anyway."

"Noted," muttered Jeonghwa and then he turned to walk away. 

At the last second, he stopped only to add, "Don't tell hyung."

"You truly are brothers then. He's stupid too."

Jeonghwa didn't say anything anymore and left him. 

Sometimes, when Jeongguk was having nightmares and he would be screaming, Jimin would shake him awake, hold on to his arms to prevent him from hurting himself. There were other times when he would be carding a hand through Jeongguk's hair and that was enough to calm him back down to sleep. 

Jeongguk would still mumble. Unintelligible words, telling someone to stop, he'd call for his parents, for Jimin, Taehyung. For Jeonghwa. When he finally left that blasted house, his younger brother was in his nightmares for days, weeks, until Jeongguk became used to waking up before he could scream. Still, Jimin stayed awake in the next room. 

No letters from Jeonghwa. There was no knowing if he was okay until they saw him at the platform, straight posture, cold gaze, and the hand of his mother on his shoulder. Jeongguk couldn't come closer. Not even when the train was finally moving because Jeonghwa was keen on ignoring his brother. Not even in the Great Hall, the corridors, the dungeons, and in between classes. 

That was when Jeongguk would go missing from time to time. Jimin says missing because that's what he would tell anyone who asked. All he had to do was open the map, find Jeongguk's name, and selfishly hope he's done with isolating himself. 

Tonight, Jeongguk was at the Astronomy Tower. Again. Taehyung said that he once passed by him during his patrol rounds and all he was doing was lay on the floor. 

Jimin was going to whack both of the Jeon brothers on the head. 

He let out another sigh and rubbed at his face, pushing his glasses up his head in the process. He stayed there for quite a while, face buried in his hands, his side also hurting because one of Hyunwoo's friends had actually managed to land a punch on him. The pain in his jaw was from Hyunwoo who Jimin was sure punched wrong and now has a broken finger. Probably crying about it to his friends. 

He knows he should get going. He should go back to the dormitory, monitor the map, wait for Taehyung to come back from his prefect duties, listen to him whine about another homework, and then they'll wait for Jeongguk. He should go. Jimin should get up before he loses it too and finds someone to start his own fight with. 

Jimin should get up before he starts to wait long enough for someone to find him. 

It's equally as bad as the first. He told himself he'll stop. Taehyung had once asked him what else he can do that could possibly ruin a friendship. 

Jimin already knew the answer back then.

"It's curfew," came the voice. His voice. 

Jimin managed a smile behind his hands. “Why are you still out then?”

“I’m a prefect. What’s your excuse? Did you fall down the stairs or something?”

He heard the mutter of a spell and then the creak of his lenses. When he finally looked up and put on his repaired glasses properly, Yoongi was there. 

“Better?” 

And honestly, no matter how much he has denied it, ignored it, or tried to put a stop to it, he has always known that he would wait.

viii. the current

"Have you been waiting long?"

He looked up from the book he was browsing and saw Yoongi, a little breathless, hair windswept. He was wearing an unbuttoned yellow collared shirt. Underneath was a white one with a picture of some band Jimin has yet to learn of. 

"Not at all," said Jimin, closing the book. "Who is that?"

He pointed at the band. Yoongi smiled at the question.

"The Seven Scouts," he answered. "I'm surprised Taehyung hasn't mentioned them. He listens to them too."

Jimin tried to shake his memory. They listen to music quite a lot to fill the silence in the room whenever they're all too tired to talk. He knows the songs of the singers and bands from the wizarding world but there are a few songs he doesn't recognize.

"Is there one that goes…" he trailed off with a tune because he doesn't remember the lyrics. 

Yoongi's smile became wider until he was laughing. 

"What, what?" asked Jimin, running a hand through his hair. 

"Nothing," said Yoongi, straightening his posture. "You sound great. That was 'High Seas'."

Jimin was going to look for it in Taehyung's records later. He knows he brought a few from home. 

"What's your favorite then?" he asked Yoongi. 

"'The Saints We Know'," came the reply.

"Is it any good?"

"Are you any good, Park Jimin?"

It was too easy. 

The smiles came easy too. Everything was different. Could he have had this earlier? If he wasn't such an idiot? One part of him said yes, another told him to not go down that road. They were okay. They were better. They were friends. He's not going to do anything that would ruin that. 

If he follows Yoongi around the giant bookstore, tries to make him laugh, that doesn't mean anything. If he takes the books that Yoongi recommends, he just wants to expand his literary knowledge. If he asks more about The Seven Scouts and their songs, he's just curious. If Yoongi smiles at him and he feels something in his chest seize, he could bury that, never speak about it, and blame it on the dust and heat. 

An hour or so later, they emerged from the building with their newly purchased books and saw that Jeongguk and Taehyung were waiting for them out front. They were sitting on the bench with ice creams. 

"Had fun, kids?" asked Jeongguk. 

Jimin pushed his glasses up. "Where's ours?"

"Well," said Taehyung, shaking his ice cream cone lightly.  "These ones were supposed to be yours but you were still inside and we couldn't let them melt to waste."

"I think you just wanted a second ice cream," said Yoongi. 

"I wouldn't say no to a third round, actually."

That was how they found themselves seated in an ice cream parlor, talking about their classes, the Quidditch World Cup, The Seven Scouts, their summer homeworks, and everything else. They tried every flavor there was, exchanging cups, urging each other to finish off the ice cream so there wouldn’t be any waste. 

As the hours passed by, the lyrics and the story of 'High Seas' was coming back to Jimin. It was something about a man who couldn't cross the territorial boundaries so he was always just floating in the open ocean, letting the water take him wherever. Alone, stranded, can't be saved and so he starts to sink, still breathing and finding solace in that one patch of sunlight guiding him down the water. 

The tune had been too catchy and lively when Jimin first heard it. He didn't know why it was now he was remembering it as he looked at each of his friends. Was he the man in the high seas, letting the water push and pull him to places? Finding land but never really crossing to it? Was he meant for the bottom of the ocean? It was too depressing to think about anyway.

“Come on,” urged Yoongi as he tugged at Jeongguk’s jacket. “I know a store where you’ll find good music.”

Jeongguk groaned but got up anyway and so they all followed Yoongi out of the ice cream parlor. 

Jimin has been to muggle neighborhoods before and although he has never been to this area, there wasn’t much of a difference. A playground, identical rows of houses, small restaurants, supply stores, those cars that he would like to drive one day, and of course the squabble of his friends he’d been following. 

He thought about the song again and hummed its tune. 

ix. the under

It wasn’t his problem to solve. He’s heard it quite a few times. Taehyung has always been adamant on not leaning on anyone. He would rather carry it all alone. Fall alone. Jimin gave him space as much as possible but he was never really that far away in case Taehyung would reach out. He never did and Jimin was always afraid Taehyung’s already past his breaking point.

“You don’t have to put up with me,” Taehyung once said when it was just the two of them down at the lake. “I’m not…. It’s not your burden.”

It was almost resentful. 

He has given the same space to Jeongguk. He has never gone up to the Astronomy Tower, to lay on the ground with him, to ask him to come back down, to talk to him. He always felt like it would be a line he would be crossing. So, he let him. Jimin monitored the map, scheduled the Quidditch practices longer, and waited for him to come back from the Astronomy Tower. He always felt foolish for standing in the sidelines. They were his friends. Why couldn’t he just talk to them?

Because maybe he truly had no business involving himself. It wasn’t his problem to deal with, it wasn’t his burden to help carry. To do so is to cross their boundary and who knows if they even want him to be within it?

But since when has he been able to not care when it comes to them?

For all the trouble they make, it’s not often they get into a physical fight. For Jimin, it’s only been the second one he’s been in this month. It was just annoying that it was still Hyunwoo and his friends he was up against. Jimin had rescued a Jeon brother again and he hasn’t gotten his thank you yet. 

In fact, Jeongguk had been angry when he stepped in.

"This isn't yours to deal with.”

It was funny how Jeonghwa had said the exact same thing. Same clenched fists, same tense shoulders but this time Jimin was sure Jeongguk would lash out if another wretched thing left Hyunwoo’s mouth. 

He truly had no business trying to intervene because the Jeon family is all about their blood. If you didn't have a drop of it, you shouldn't be looking their way. If it's their problem, they'll be the ones to deal with it. 

But Jimin couldn't give a damn about their blood. Not when one of them has been living under his roof (his parents' roof, technically). He tried to handle the situation by balancing. If Jeongguk was all harshness, Jimin strived for civility through gritted teeth. But then Hyunwoo drew his wand and aimed a spell at them. It was ridiculous how Jeongguk was still faster with a punch to his face. It escalated. 

At some point, Jimin heard Taehyung’s and Yoongi’s voices from somewhere. Being prefects, they told them to stop. There were at least three warnings before Jimin saw Taehyung finally joining in the fray. He let himself be grazed so he could justify later why he confunded Jihye and tackled Daesong off of Jeongguk. 

“Bunch of shitheads,” Taehyung had said in the middle of the fight and swore more for the entirety of the scuffle in between spells. Those were probably enough to stun others without using a wand because rarely they heard Kim Taehyung string such colorful words out loud. Quite impressively at that. 

Yoongi, on the other hand, jinxed Sungmin and Yejoon to move more slowly. 

In the end, it had been Professor Choi, the Charms professor, to separate all of them, barely dodging a Furnunculus spell. They were all sent to his office briefly to explain to the Heads of their Houses. It was obvious no one was getting out unscathed. They were lucky with a month-long detention except for Taehyung and Yoongi who had a shorter period. They only have to face their Houses later for being the reason why they’re a hundred points behind for the House Cup. 

After being lectured, they were told to go to the infirmary to treat their injuries. Jeongguk was keen on not going because Hyunwoo would be there but Taehyung wouldn’t let go of him. With Jimin and Yoongi on the other side of him, he had no choice. 

“I hope he tells Mother he got his ass kicked by me,” muttered Jeongguk and then winced as the healer disinfected the cut on his arm. 

He was also sporting a black eye. Most of his hair had escaped his bun but Jeongguk didn’t bother to fix it.

The healer shook his head at him. “Now, now, dear. You know violence is not always the remedy. This is Park Jimin’s second time here this month and are his problems solved?”

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows at hearing ‘second time’ but he still said, “Yeah, well, it wasn’t the idiot’s problem to solve in the first place, anyway.”

Jimin sighed and sank deeper in the bed. It was his side again that hurt after a spell hit him. He was usually good at countering or dodging but Jeongguk had been the first priority. He still had his glasses on and he knew one of the lenses was cracked. A hinge was probably broken too. Nothing else hurt but the whole affair had been draining so he had crawled into the next bed and rested. He also just wanted to make sure no fight would break out again. It didn’t matter if they were in the infirmary and they just got detention because even now, Jimin could sense the beginnings of an argument.

“Don’t be stupid,” he said. “I was passing through, you were in the way.”

“Take a different corridor next time,” said Jeongguk.

Footsteps came and Jimin felt the foot of the bed dip. He heard Taehyung sigh and he restrained from doing the same.

“He likes that corridor, Gguk-ah,” spoke Taehyung. “Maybe you should find other places where you and that damn cousin of yours could fight.”

“Why? So you could join in too?” argued Jeongguk.

“Who's going to get Daesong off of you again if I’m not there?"

“I was handling him just fine.”

“You’re welcome, you prick.”

Jimin remembered seeing Taehyung grab Jeongguk by the front of his robes and haul him up. It looked like Taehyung was close to punching him, maybe to knock some sense into him. 

“Stay out of it.”

There was another sigh from Taehyung. This time, Jimin didn’t know if it was out of annoyance or resignation. 

“Sorry, it’s fucking hard to look the other way when Hyunwoo might just say the right spell one of these days and you’ll be too damn stupid to dodge it.”

Jimin tried. Taehyung tried. They have been trying, making sure that Jeongguk knows in so many ways that he could tell them anything, even while they were giving him time. But Jeongguk was still often up in the Astronomy Tower and his words were too sharp. He never sought out Hyunwoo or his friends but it wasn’t like he would walk the other way when they would round up the corner. They would start, he would goad them, they would push him, and everything would go downhill.

There was a time when Jimin thought it might bring Jeongguk back to his senses, that it might be draining enough for him to just stop.

Jimin wished he knew what to do. He wished Jeongguk’s parents weren’t the devil's incarnates, that Hyunwoo knew how to shut up, and that Jeonghwa would talk to his brother. He wished that some moron and his cult didn't stand by the idea that their blood and their magic made them superior. Every day, the owls would bring in the morning paper and Jimin would look around and see trembling hands and pale faces. He would also spot the smiles, some hidden, some too proud. It made his blood boil. 

He wished he knew how to help Jeongguk, how to make Taehyung believe he wasn't a burden. He wished he could tell Yoongi how he hasn't stopped listening to his favorite song. He wished he was good enough for him, good enough for Jeongguk and Taehyung. He wished he knew how to stop breathing underwater and let all that blue enter his lungs and finally drown him. 

Jimin opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling with one good lens. 

"Stop going to the Astronomy Tower so much," he said, gently even though everything in him wanted to rage and shout. "Hyunwoo's never going to shut up but you can't keep punching him forever."

He looked at Jeongguk who turned his head away. "Taehyung's right. You are a prick but you know we'd always wait for you. It doesn't matter how long or if you never come to us because we're always going to be there anyway."

He glanced at Taehyung before he set his gaze back to the ceiling. 

"As long as you want us to be."

As long as either of you want me to be. 

If he was given the chance to start all over again, he knew he would still sit in that train compartment. He would have found that quiet boy with the scar on his nose. He would sit across from him, introduce himself, and talk about how excited he was. He would wave at that boy who hesitated outside of their door, wondering if he should sit with them for the whole journey to the school. 

If they had never met that way, Jimin would have still looked for them. There's no other life he would want where they weren't in it. As long as either of them want him to be in theirs, he would be.

He closed his eyes once more. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend that they were all back at his home or their dorm, talking about anything and everything. 

A moment later, he felt Taehyung hold on to his ankle. He felt the gentle squeeze. 

A moment later, he heard Jeongguk say, "I know, Jimin-ah." 

A moment later, he felt someone take off his glasses and heard them mutter a spell. 

He fell into a sleep, dreaming of sunlight and rough waves until he took a breath and dove under.

x. shift

He hated the days before the full moon. It felt like he was going to have a fever but it couldn't come fast enough and so he's miserable. His body ached all over, his patience was quick to run out, and he wanted to just dunk his head in the Great Lake. Taehyung probably should have done it earlier after the prefects' meeting. He could have had tea with the giant squid. 

There was nothing left to do but to just wait. 

He dragged himself up the stairs and almost dropped to the floor when he got inside their room. There was no one else so maybe he could just sleep right there at the entry and let his roommates scoot his body aside. 

He took off his bag, robe, shoes, and sweater, letting them drop one by one wherever. He’ll be responsible later. 

Taehyung rested on his back and stared up at his canopy. What class did he have next? Transfiguration. However, Professor Ahn has a meeting to attend to and since he thought everyone seemed to be doing well in his class, they all deserved a day off. Jeongguk thinks he just couldn’t find a substitute on time. 

Where were Jimin and Jeongguk anyway? He last saw them heading off to Professor Lee’s office because he needed to talk to them about the last two days of their detention, the month-long one. Taehyung had been worried at the beginning, thinking that a serious, physical fight with wands out might finally land them in trouble they couldn't handle. They were lucky the punishment wasn't severe and they only had a hundred points taken. The seventh-years hounded them for it but Taehyung knew Jimin had already set his sights on the next Quidditch match, intending to win not just the lost house points but also the Cup for his first year as the Captain. 

Taehyung had left them for the prefects' meeting. There wasn’t much to discuss except for the new schedule for the patrol rounds. They’ve switched partners again. Binna, one of the other Gryffindor prefects, huffed next to him when she got her copy. 

“You don’t want to be paired with Minjeong?” Taehyung asked her, trying to remember anything that the Hufflepuff prefect must have done to make Binna react differently. 

As far as he knew, Minjeong was nice. She was a fifth year student, always quiet during the meetings, and from what he has heard, she was exceptional at Potions. 

Binna sighed. “I’m always paired with Minjeong. We’re partners in Potions, Charms, Defense…”

“She’s not too bad, Binna-yah,” consoled Taehyung.

“She isn’t,” agreed Binna. “Minjeong is funny and so sweet. She’s just… everywhere. I walk into Herbology and she’s my partner. I walk into the classroom and the only empty spot is next to her. Not that it’s bad being with her but how does it keep happening?”

Taehyung could only come up with two things. One, maybe Binna and Minjeong are soulmates. He hasn’t cared so much about it before but he’s not entirely closed against the topic of it. Two, someone is keen to play their role as a matchmaker. 

The second option seemed more likely. 

“You could try asking Siwan-hyung if you could have a different partner for the rounds,” he suggested.

At that, Binna made a face and folded the copy of her schedule before placing it inside her bag. 

“We’ll work it out,” was the only thing she said.

After the meeting ended, Taehyung saw her walk up to Minjeong who seemed to be waiting for her at the doorway. Binna didn’t seem to be as concerned as before about the suspicious pairing they’ve been going through. Taehyung smiled to himself. 

But that was a whole hour and a half ago. He didn’t think Jimin and Jeongguk would stay that long in Professor Lee’s office. He should have gotten the map from Jimin before they parted ways. Did they say something about a Quidditch practice? Jimin was a little restless about getting the team back out in the field.

Just last week, Taehyung visited them during their practice. He walked into the pitch and saw Jeongguk on the grass, his broom and bat right beside him. Everyone else was flying around and Jimin could be heard drilling his team with gameplays. 

“Let him be,” Jeongguk had whispered to Taehyung, despite them  being alone. “The more he fusses, the more our chances of winning will increase.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Taehyung whispered back. “He should be having a confident mindset. Otherwise, he’s going to worry everyone else around him that they’ll think we don’t stand a chance.”

“An idiot is the only one who’ll think that Park Jimin stands no chance against them.”

“That sounds like the Ravenclaw captain.”

“He’s an idiot.”

Taehyung glanced at him. “You’re not the least bit nervous then, Gguk-ah?”

“I'd be more nervous if Jimin wasn’t fussing and scheduling daily practices.”

He laid on the grass and tugged Taehyung down beside him. 

Quidditch. He was a fair flier, having practiced and played with Jimin and Jeongguk during school breaks but he didn't like Quidditch enough to join the team and compete against the other Houses. He preferred cheering at the stands with everyone else with the occasional invite to do the commentary. He liked having Jimin pace around their dorm and going over their gameplays. He liked it when Jeongguk would just fly towards where he was sitting in the stands during practice and let him in on the latest drama and romance in school. Apparently, Quidditch teams liked to gossip in the locker room. 

Now, Taehyung snatched his Potions textbook from his bedside table, opening it to the page he had earmarked. He should do some advanced reading or should at least pretend to do so. 

His eyes went over the list of ingredients for a draught and then down to the process. He flipped a page and saw an illustration of a man sleeping. He registered the rise and fall of his chest, the gust of air that left his mouth, and the slight shift of the strands of his hair. Taehyung read the words beneath the illustration. His eyes fell close for a second. Then two. A moment later he was jolting awake when the book hit his chin. 

He shook himself and pulled himself up slightly to lean against the headboard but he was tired and he ended up in an uncomfortable position. It was fine, he needed to be awake to read anyway. But his eyes were closing once more. He ached so much he couldn't lift his arm. The last thing he saw was the tilted illustration of the sleeping man, comfortable in his own bed and dreaming of something peaceful. 

Then, his hand felt lighter, dangling off the bed. He grasped at air. From somewhere, he could hear breathing and the light pitter patter of something. 

How long had he been dozing off?

He struggled to open his eyes and feeling a bit disoriented, it took a second or two to realize he wasn't holding his book anymore. He propped himself on his elbow with difficulty and saw his Potions textbook being kicked under Jimin's bed. 

"Rule number six," sighed Taehyung. 

The black dog stared at him from across the room with an unimpressed look, quite scarily similar to a human's expression. 

"You can't shift in the dormitory."

The dog snorted. 

It was a silly thing to say because the school has over a thousand rules and they're on their way to breaking every single one of them. The dormitory rules were broken probably within a month in their first year. Their own rules, starting from the fourth, were just laughable. 

In any case, Taehyung has never broken the sixth rule, something Jeongguk always rolled his eyes at whenever mentioned. 

The dog walked back over to him. On four legs, it was taller than the beds. Still, when it reached Taehyung, it sat on its rear and laid its head next to his arm, staring up at him. 

"I don't really want to go back down right now," he said. 

The dog nudged its nose against his arm. An understanding. 

"I think Binna likes Minjeong," he continued, releasing himself from his uncomfortable position and letting his head hit the pillow. "I don't know yet if Minjeong likes her back."

Upright ears. 

"Binna says they're always getting paired up. They're partners for patrols now. Do you think it's a soulmate thing?"

The dog made a sound that might have been a 'no'. 

"Do you think a friend of theirs is trying to set them up together?"

A nod and then the dog shifted closer to Taehyung's hand. He sighed. 

"I thought so too."

An insistent press of a head against his hand. 

"But I should see if there is something about soulmates in the library. I don't think I've come across it before. Do you think Jimin knows anything about it? He's probably read through every book there is."

A huff. 

"It's always about love potions, rituals, and charms that are shams."

Another press. 

"Eunkyung was saying the other day how her brother uses tea leaves to find the love of his life. But what if you don't have the gift for divination?"

Then, the bed dipped and a weight dropped down beside him. A heavy, furry weight that tried to get comfortable against his side. Taehyung groaned and tried to make them both fit. The dog ended up resting its head on his arm. It was a familiar weight, the kind that numbed aches. The kind that  accompanied him several times before and after the full moon, warm, breathing, ridiculously needy for pats and scrubs. He sighed. 

"Gguk-ah."

The only answer was a puff of breath. 

He threw an arm over him, burying his face in the fur. Taehyung hoped no one would come in before they woke up.

-

More often than not, Taehyung slept next to a big, black dog and would wake up to Jeongguk still sleeping against his shoulder. It was fortunate that Jeongguk always remembered to turn back to his human form. News of a dog inside one of the common rooms invites too many questions, not just from students but from the Heads and professors as well. They’d rather no one gets too close to anything regarding their Animagi, no matter how harmless a “pet dog” may seem.

So now, most people just know that Jeon Jeongguk is a bed hogger. Taehyung certainly thought so. It was his bed that frequently carried the weight of them two. They learned how to fit, usually opting for sleeping on their sides.

He woke up to an almost dark room. One of the nightlights was still on but everyone else was already asleep. Taehyung glimpsed Jimin sleeping on his stomach and he remembered that he hasn’t seen him since the afternoon when they parted ways at Professor Lee’s office. That meant he had been sleeping for hours. He missed dinner. 

Jeongguk must have missed it too. 

That’s when he realized that he woke up because something was moving against his back. He glanced at the person next to him. Jeongguk still looked sleepy but he was awake. He had an arm around his waist, hand gently rubbing against the small of his back.

“You were mumbling in your sleep,” he whispered. “I thought you were about to have a nightmare.”

Taehyung blinked. “I don’t remember what I was dreaming about.”

“You were talking about a dragon egg.”

“Huh.”

“Don’t remember the dream?”

“Not at all.”

“Shame. I was hoping I was in it.”

They both shifted, ankles and knees bumping. Still, Jeongguk didn’t let go. 

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asked.

“Not really,” answered Taehyung. “I think I might just go back to sleep again.”

“Jimin brought back some pies.”

“You should eat.”

“I already did. I left you some on the table.”

The hand traced up to the space between Taehyung’s shoulder blades. He sighed at the pressure. 

“What did Professor Lee tell you?” he asked. 

Jeongguk hummed. “The importance of practicing control.”

“Long overdue, that conversation.”

“I don’t think it would make much of a difference anyway.”

“Please don’t traumatize first years who just want to peacefully pass through a corridor.”

“As long as I don’t get hexed first. Probably would be since I’ll be too stupid to dodge it.”

Taehyung remembered what he said back at the infirmary. He had been on edge, irritated and hurt. He wanted to leave because the urge to shake, to yell at Jeongguk was strong. There were a lot of names he wanted to call him. Maybe he should have punched him when he got Daesong off of him. Maybe he should have just dragged him and Jimin out of that mess. 

"I was too angry," spoke Jeongguk. "I was mad at everything and everyone. I thought violence would be the answer to my problems."

Taehyung smiled. "How'd that work out for you?"

"I got to sock Hyunwoo in the jaw."

"I can't imagine him being thrilled about that."

He wasn't up at the Astronomy Tower as much as he was before. When they pass by Hyunwoo and his goons in the corridor or they have the same class together, Jeongguk would either ignore his jabs or insult him back that usually had the other grumbling. Sometimes, Jimin or Taehyung would tell Hyunwoo to shut up before he could open his mouth. Taehyung worried that Jeongguk might be acting to ease their worries but he did seem lighter for the past two weeks. 

It wasn't until several days ago that he was assured when Jeonghwa lobbed a small pouch of candies at Jeongguk in the library. They must have talked already or maybe Jeonghwa was starting to open up again. Whatever it was, Taehyung preferred it rather than having his friend isolate himself. 

"I'm sorry, Taehyung-ah. You were right, I was a prick."

He felt the light press of a thumb on his back. 

"Even more so than usual?" he asked.

Jeongguk smiled into the pillow. Taehyung felt the urge to bury himself under the mattress.

"We've all had some of our not-so-stellar moments," he said instead. 

"Still," muttered Jeongguk. 

"Jimin would whack you on the head."

"Fine."

They moved again. Maybe it was Jeongguk pulling him closer or maybe it was him shifting closer. They should be falling asleep right now because that's what late night talks are for. They're supposed to lull them to sleep. And yet, Taehyung has never felt more awake. He was greatly aware of Jeongguk's arm on him, his ankle hooked on his, his fingers splayed out on his back, strands of his hair tickling his forehead. They were too awake to be too close.

Taehyung was not going to be stupid about his own feelings. He knew that tug in his stomach whenever Jeongguk would drape over his back. He knew that he stared too much whenever Jeongguk wasn't looking. There were many times when he wanted to brush his hair away from his face or grab his tie, his robes, and pull him to an empty classroom. Sometimes, he cared too much about nights like this, ones where it was just them, arguing and teasing in whispers. He felt a different kind of ache when Jeongguk held his hand, smiled at him, and looked at him from across the room. 

He wanted more.

This time, it was Jeongguk who moved. He leaned in until their bodies were flushed close together. Taehyung felt his breath on his clavicle as Jeongguk tucked himself underneath his chin.

This is more. Taehyung thought. This is enough. This is more than enough. 

And still he felt that ache as he wrapped his arms around Jeongguk. They're not together, are they? They wouldn't be this close in the sun, in the hallway, out in the grounds, or in front of that bookstore where they had their ice creams. All they have are nights like this with no one else but them as witnesses. All of their moments stolen in the dark and in the silence. 

“See you when the sun comes up.”

Still, he felt that tug in his stomach when lips brushed his collarbone, when the words smoothed themselves over his skin. Strangely enough, he remembered that day with the mandrake leaves and Jeongguk asking a question.

Why can't mouths be the carrier of stolen things?

xi. change

When Yoongi first walked away from him, it was in that train compartment. Unsurprisingly, Jimin's track record is consistent. Like all of the incidents that followed, he had said something stupid.

"I don’t think you’ll be in Slytherin. They don’t take in muggleborns. It’s how things have been for thousands of years.”

Yoongi glared at him before he stood up. He slid the door open with such force that Jimin flinched. Before he walked out, his eyes passed from Taehyung, to Jeongguk, and then to Jimin. 

“Maybe I’ll break tradition too,” he said and left.

Since then, Yoongi has been walking away from him because he couldn’t act like a normal, behaved boy for once. Jimin did something to embarrass him, he said something that annoyed him, he started an argument, he teased him, he tapped him too much on the shoulder during class, he asked too much about the muggle world. 

Jimin thought Yoongi had his faults too. Whenever he tried his best to be cordial, Yoongi snapped at him. During the times when they were partnered, Yoongi wasn’t too open-minded and tended to shut down his ideas. He looked down on him, made his own assumptions, and threw them right at his face whenever they were both in the same room. 

Then, they were arguing in corridors, glaring at each other from across the Great Hall, trying to one up each other in class, never having a conversation that didn’t end with an insult or Yoongi walking away. Jimin made it a point to not look after him, not after the first few times anyway. He always walked the other way, annoyed with Yoongi but most of all, frustrated with himself and how he can never seem to say or do the right thing. 

He deserved the treatment Yoongi gave him, Jimin would always think. He has made a bad first impression when they met which has definitely carved itself in Yoongi’s mind for him to react that way. Their following interactions certainly weren’t great either and all his troubles with Jeongguk and Taehyung didn’t help in the slightest bit. 

But all the stupid things he has said and done seemed to be the only ones to catch Yoongi’s attention. Somehow, Jimin fell into habit. And somehow, he just started looking for him in any room, in the corridors, and before Quidditch matches. He watched out for him on the map at night during the patrol rounds of prefects. 

He heard of Daesong rallying troops for that moronic cult and their leader. He heard of him taunting muggleborns, half-bloods, and anyone who just wouldn’t tolerate them. Taehyung and Jeongguk had caught him in the act of cornering a first year. Since then, the three of them had been keeping close eyes on Daesong, Hyunwoo, their friends, and on the map.

They were out of their common room late at night and fortunately, so was Jimin. He steered from his path down to the kitchens when he saw what was on the map. Yoongi's and Daesong's names were nearing one another's. Another corridor more and who knows what would happen? Jimin hastened his pace and he got to Yoongi just in time. Yoongi didn’t even look the least bit surprised to see him, wandering the halls at night. 

A few seconds later, Daesong rounded the corner and spotted them.

"Date night?" he asked, walking towards them with a smile. 

Jimin returned it. "Why, yes, it's kind of you to notice so if you could please leave us to it. Otherwise, it would be awkward to have you tagging along."

"Shut up," Yoongi said to him and then turned to Daesong. "You're not supposed to be out past curfew."

"And you're not meant to be here," said Daesong. 

"I'm actually meant to be patrolling the third floor but you're in the way so I'm stuck here."

Daesong was only a few feet away and Jimin didn't miss the wand in his hand. 

"You think you're being clever," he continued. "You're no safer out there, Min Yoongi. You know that, right? I know you've read the news. You’re dead once you step foot out of this castle." 

Yoongi sighed. “Couldn’t you just finish me off while we’re here? Or do you need someone else to do it for you because you’re afraid of getting expelled for killing a muggleborn?”

Daesong was similar to Hyunwoo in a way that they liked to taunt and how quickly they could be provoked. The difference was Daesong was quicker with his wand, more likely to attack with spells that he knew best: the ones that hurt and injure. Jimin moved, just casually enough to shield Yoongi behind him.

“Not to be a killjoy but Yoongi and I have a moonlight stroll to get to,” he said.

“Go away,” Yoongi muttered from behind him.

Jimin didn’t budge.

“The same goes for you, Park Jimin,” Daesong said in a low voice. “You better think about whose side you want to be in before they find you and your family.”

He stepped closer and added, “You’re running around with a blood traitor and a half-blood. Don't you have any shame?"

Sometimes, he could understand why Jeongguk tends to throw punches rather than using his wand. Hexing Daesong probably wouldn’t be enough. Still, he held his wand inside his pocket. He trusted that Yoongi was ready behind him, in case anything breaks out.

“Daesong-ah,” he said, calmly. “I’m not the one idolizing a murderer on an ego and power trip. I'd practice more than just shame, if I were you."

Daesong sneered at him. 

"Can’t wait to see you out there, Jimin-ah. I’ll wipe out that arrogant look on your face and then I’ll wipe out your family and friends. I might save that little mudblood behind you for last-"

He made a noise in his throat as the tip of Jimin’s wand made contact with his neck, right where his pulse would be. Finally, Jimin saw his expression change. Daesong’s gaze flitted from left to right, trying to find a way out. Or maybe for someone to save him. A flicker of fear. Then, he seemed to remember he had a wand and moved to raise it. 

But Yoongi was faster and now there were two wands pointed at him.

“This is not a fair fight,” he managed to say.

Yoongi laughed dryly. “Should have brought your second then if you’re going to act like this. Plus, I doubt your leader would care much for a proper wizard’s duel. Haven’t you been reading the paper?”

Then, he withdrew, nudging Jimin’s side for him to back away as well. 

“Go back to the dormitory, Daesong-ah. I’m not going to deduct points but I might report you to Professor Kang and let him decide your punishment.”

It was ridiculous how Daesong could spew threats and then fold at being told he would be reported to the Head. He shoved Jimin away from him and walked past them, head held high and jaw clenched. 

Jimin and Yoongi watched him until he turned to another corridor and disappeared from their sight. 

Then Yoongi sighed. “Here’s to hoping he won’t set my bed on fire when I get back.” 

He walked away without so much as a glance at Jimin. 

If it wasn’t a lack of acknowledgement, it was usually a glare or a blank look he received as a form of goodbye. Jimin was already used to it and he would have walked the other way if it wasn’t for the possibility that Daesong hadn't gone back to the Slytherin common room. Or that his friends are lurking around. Jimin stuck to those two reasons as he followed Yoongi.

“What are you doing?” asked Yoongi. 

“Walking back to the common room,” replied Jimin with a shrug. “It is past curfew, after all.”

“You shouldn’t even be out right now.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Will you just go then?”

Jimin smiled at him. “I am on my way. We’re just keeping each other company for the time being. Besides, this way you get to keep an eye on me and make sure I get to my common room.”

He won that argument and they both knew, judging by how Yoongi didn’t respond and tried to pick up his pace. Jimin kept up with him and together, they walked the corridors in silence. 

The paintings slept on from either side of them, the staircases groaned as they changed, and prefects appeared here and there. Yoongi checked the alcoves, broom closets, and classrooms while Jimin waited just a couple of feet behind him. He has done it before with Taehyung, keeping him company during his own rounds when he doesn’t have a partner. The difference was they weren’t always silent for the whole patrol. With Yoongi, there wasn’t anything and Jimin didn’t know what to do about it. 

He didn’t know what they were in the silence outside of classrooms and partnered projects. 

Even glares and accusing stares were loud enough without words but this—Jimin waiting for Yoongi and Yoongi letting him—was different. 

They arrived at the corridor that led to the Gryffindor common room. Now that Jimin had arrived at his destination, he expected Yoongi to head to another direction. It was another surprise that they continued to walk forward, up to where the Sleeping Blue Poet rested in his painting. 

It was only then that their silence was broken.

“Thank you,” spoke Yoongi. 

And they looked at each other. 

And Jimin wished he wasn’t such an idiot, that he hadn’t been an idiot then. Maybe if things had turned out different, they could be arguing about something else and laughing about it in the end. They could be passing notes in class, greeting each other in the corridors, in the Great Hall, down at the Quidditch field. Jimin could be asking him a million questions and Yoongi could be pointing out his lack of Muggle awareness and he would lecture him for the next hour or so.  Maybe they could have been friends. 

If things were different, they wouldn’t have been quiet during that whole patrol. Yoongi might be smiling at him right now and Jimin might stand closer to him.

But they weren’t and Jimin had been told enough times that he was an idiot so he held himself back, nodded to Yoongi, and said nothing else. 

Yoongi walked away then, just like he always does.

It took a while before Jimin finally went inside, the Sleeping Blue Poet watching his back sadly. 

-

The next time they met in a corridor, Jimin was carrying half of Taehyung’s weight. It had been two days since the full moon and Taehyung, tired more than usual, had to be kept longer in the infirmary. He wanted to go back up to the dormitory even though Jimin, Jeongguk, and the healer insisted on him staying. 

Taehyung was stubborn and so now, Jimin was lugging him along through the halls, talking his ear off, while Jeongguk went down to the kitchens to get them all something to eat. 

“Taehyung-ah,” called Yoongi as he walked closer to them. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Just tired,” answered Taehyung with a smile. “Nothing serious.”

Yoongi frowned. "But you look like you’re going to fall over any second. Don’t you want to go to the infirmary?"

Taehyung shook his head and that action seemed to cost him too much energy. Yoongi noticed and took his free arm, laying it across his shoulders and taking some of the weight from Jimin’s side. Taehyung slumped.

“You dolt,” said Jimin. “Gguk and I should have just covered our ears and walked away.”

“You wouldn’t,” mumbled Taehyung. 

Yoongi looked at Jimin. “To the infirmary?”

“No,” replied Jimin. “We’re closer to the common room now anyway. I can take him from here.”

But Yoongi held on to Taehyung’s waist.

There were times when Taehyung actually fell asleep and almost faceplanted if it wasn’t for the two people holding him. Jimin said aloud that they should just levitate him and that was enough to rouse Taehyung up and cuss him out. Yoongi’s body shook with silent laughter from the other side. Jimin could feel it but he didn’t dare to glance at him. 

The Sleeping Blue Poet opened one eye at them when Jimin gave the password.

“It’s nice to have friends who would tuck you to bed,” he yawned and opened the door.

The common room was empty which was usual for a nice afternoon. They dragged Taehyung up the stairs with a little bit of difficulty and a lot of swearing. 

“You’re not leaving the infirmary next time,” huffed Jimin. 

“There shouldn’t be a next time, ” quipped Yoongi from the other side. 

Taehyung managed a smile. Unfortunately, there will be a next time. 

Jimin shoved the door open and they found Jeongguk inside, sitting on a chair with his feet up on Taehyung’s bed. He was already munching on a sandwich. 

“Our fire-haired friend,” he greeted Yoongi. “What brings you to our humble abode?”

Taehyung was brought to his bed. He chucked off his shoes and crawled under the covers, effectively hiding from everyone. They only heard a sigh from him and when Jeongguk prodded at him with his foot, he was unresponsive. 

“Couldn’t he just have done that in the infirmary?” asked Yoongi.

Jeongguk went on a rant about how Taehyung likes his cocoon and Yoongi listened to him. Jimin went to his own bed and shrugged out of his sweater just so he had something to do. When that was handled, he rummaged inside his bag, looking for nothing at all. He couldn’t do that forever so he arranged the books on his nightstand, checking for any loose leaf or torn pieces of parchment that they use for passing notes in class. 

From the other side of the room, Jeongguk finished talking and offered a slice of cake to Yoongi who shook his head.

“I should get going,” he said. 

He nodded at both Jeongguk and Jimin before walking out of the room. 

Jeongguk held out a tangerine to Jimin. “Fruit?”

Jimin dropped the book he was holding onto the bed, snatched the tangerine from Jeongguk’s hand, and rushed out of the room. He heard Jeongguk say something but he couldn’t make it out because he was already hurrying down the stairs.

The door was just opening and Yoongi was standing before it. 

“Thanks,” spoke Jimin, trying to hide the catch in his breathing. 

Yoongi startled and turned to him, confused. “What for?”

“For helping me bring Taehyung back here,” replied Jimin.

There was still quite a distance between them with Jimin standing at the foot of the stairs and Yoongi at the open doorway. 

“He’s stubborn,” continued Jimin, shifting on his feet. “It’s difficult to get him to stay at the infirmary when he needs to. It’s also harder to get him out of his own bed.”

Yoongi nodded and Jimin wondered if he would be able to pick something up from his expression if he was standing a little closer to him. 

“So thanks,” he continued. “I probably would have resorted to actually levitating him if it was just me and him and he would never forgive me for it.”

This time, he walked closer and stood with him at the entrance. Behind Yoongi, the Sleeping Blue Poet shifted in his chair and turned his back on them to give them privacy. Jimin appreciated it because he felt like he was going to embarrass himself any minute now. 

He offered the tangerine to Yoongi who stared at it impassively. 

“It’s a fruit,” teased Jimin. 

Yoongi glared at him. It was the first reaction he has given, something familiar. 

“We have that in the muggle world too,” he said, dryly. “Lots of it, actually.”

Jimin offered it to him again. “I didn’t do anything to it, if you’re worried. It’s the same fruit from the Great Hall.”

It was the same fruit Yoongi would take with him in the mornings before their classes. It was the same fruit that Yoongi would peel by the lake, the same fruit that he liked eating so much especially when the weather was cold. It was the same fruit he had lobbed at Jimin when they were twelve because Jimin had turned his hair yellow.

As Yoongi took it from him, he wondered if he would feel the force of that throw again. They are sixteen now and not much has changed but Jimin had always hoped something would.

“I have to sit Taehyung down during patrols.” Yoongi was looking at the tangerine. “He insists on finishing the rounds with me even though I can cover for him. So, sometimes we just sit in the corridors and I’d let him doze off for a few minutes. Getting him to stay in bed is equally just as difficult as getting him out of it.”

Jimin smiled. “He’d sleep standing up if he could.”

“I bet he already has.”

At that, Jimin let out a laugh. Something in him twisted when he caught the quirk of Yoongi’s lips. 

“Thanks for looking out for him,” he said, quietly now. 

Yoongi nodded and then met his gaze.

If things were different, Jimin thought, if things were just different. 

“Don’t let him patrol later.” Yoongi pocketed the tangerine. “He’s my partner anyway and I can cover for him.”

Maybe Jimin could just tell him. That he wishes he could talk to him everyday, that he could give him the tangerine he sometimes keeps in his pocket in case he’s finally brave enough to give it to him, that he can’t seem to stop finding him from across the Great Hall, that he just wants to stand closer to him. 

They looked at each other for a moment in silence. Jimin thought they must both be waiting for something, anything, but he already knew what he wanted. He just didn’t know what Yoongi wanted from him, if he wanted anything at all from him, if he sometimes wished that things were different too. 

"See you later." was the end of that and Jimin was left with the sad gaze of the Sleeping Blue Poet. 

xii. the sleeping blue poet

For as long as he could remember—well, he can’t remember what happened hundreds of years ago but he knows that he has always been in his favorite chair. Sometimes, he loses track of what time of the day it is. Sometimes, he picks it up from the passing children, rushing for lunch or dinner or bedtime. Sometimes, he doesn’t know what day it is at all or what month they are already in. Sometimes, he’s just dreaming. Of what? He can’t remember them as well.

So, he writes about forgetting them. He reaches over to the side, pulls his small table closer to him where his quill and a piece of parchment always waits for him. 

“Is it so hard for you to just look the other way and fuck off?”

Such a harsh word. He wrote it on the side, under the words ‘duck’ and ‘luck’. He would need all the rhyming words he could get. He has been stuck—oh, stuck . That will do. 

“Is it so hard to just thank me for not letting them send you off to the infirmary without any of your limbs detached?”

How morbid. He continued to jot down the words: limbs, separated, whisked away, screams. 

“So now you’re the hero? What, so you’re just going to spread to the whole school how you saved a little muggleborn from-”

“That’s not what I’m saying. If you could just-”

“I’ve had enough of-”

“You’ve had enough? Who’s the one who’s always twisting words-”

“Twisting?”

“Yes!”

“Shut up!”

He tried to raise his shoulders to his ears, hoping to block out the noise. Limbs, hands, fingers intertwined. Prayers whispered, running blind. Must it be at night, when there’s no light, that we yearn with might? Limbs, hands, fingers separated. Prayers whispered, how ill-fated! Oh why must it be at daylight, when there’s light, that you take flight? What fucking luck must I have that I may deserve more than a dream that may stuck?

Oh dear, that last line may not do. He would have to consult with one of the Gryffindor prefects, that tired young man who always looks like he wants to hurl his books at the wall. 

“Occulus reparo.”

He doesn’t remember what happened hundreds of years ago or why he has never left his favorite chair but something tugs at his chest when he turns to look at the scene before him. It’s similar to when he wakes up and he’s clutching at the wisps of a fading dream. 

A boy with glasses and a boy with red hair. He has seen them arguing often enough, sometimes at the end of the hallway or when they’re passing by, seemingly with no direction but they’re invested well enough into their shouting matches. They’re quiet now. And close. Not close enough that there’s barely enough space between them but close enough that they’re aware of it and it’s like they’ve finally taken the time to look at each other’s face.

The boy with red hair brings down his wand at the same time the boy with glasses raises a hand to touch his frames. Limbs, hands, fingers. Prayers silent. 

“Is it so hard to believe that I just want to help?” asked the boy with glasses. 

“You don’t need to,” answered the boy with red hair. 

“But I want to.”

“And if I don’t want you to?”

“Too bad, you will still see me around.”

“You’re fucking stupid.”

“I know, thanks.”

Limbs, hands, fingers. Why must it be at night, oh how ill-fated.

“You don’t need to.”

“I know. I want to.”

Limbs, hands, fingers. Why must it be at day, still ill-fated!

The boy with glasses ran a hand through his hair. Prayers silent, yearning with might. The boy with red hair stepped just a little bit closer and raised both of his hands to the other’s face. He adjusted the glasses.

“Thank you,” he whispered, fingers accidentally brushing hair. 

The boy with glasses clenched his hands into fists, unnoticed by the other.

“Thanks,” he returned, not taking his eyes away from the boy with red hair. 

Then, they stepped away from each other. Then, a hesitant smile was shared. Then, the boy with red hair walked away and the boy with glasses stared at him until he disappeared. 

Then, he leaned against the door, posture seemingly exhausted with his eyes closed. But he had a smile on his face. 

If he could, the Sleeping Blue Poet would have patted his back. 

“What a fucking time,” he settled for saying. 

The boy with glasses startled but he laughed lightly and agreed. 

xiii. sincerely, eternally

In the end, he only signed his name at the bottom of the parchment. 

Park Jimin

He watched as Yoongi’s owl flew off, farther and farther away until he was only looking at the sky. What else could he possibly do that could ruin a friendship?

Yours. Yours. Yours.

xiv. min yoongi

He has learned to pick his battles ever since he was young. He wasn’t an only child. He fought a lot with his older sister. It used to be just petty arguments back then, about who was supposed to use the bathroom first, whose turn it was to wash the dishes, making faces at each other across the dining table, pulling pranks on each other before bedtime. Now, his older sister can’t seem to look at him anymore. She can never string a set of words that didn’t end with him walking out of the room, feeling like he was being hollowed out. 

Of course he knew why things turned out the way they did. Of course he could pinpoint the exact moment when his sister started hating him. Sometimes, he wondered what would happen if they just ignored that letter, if they ignored every single occurrence where he was more than normal and could do beyond what’s normal. Most of the time, he just wished his sister didn’t hate him. 

“Freak,” she would say in a murmur, a sneer, a shout. 

He has learned to walk away after a few times. Maybe things will be a little bit better when he’s at that school for people like him. After all, everyone who’s there is surely the same. 

It turns out they don’t say “freak”, they just have a different word for it. In fact, they have more than one word for it and they have more than one way of showing how they really don’t want him in the same room as them. 

After a few fights, he has learned to walk away from them too. 

But these days, it’s become harder to walk away from this one boy. 

“Why are you sulking here?”

Yoongi slid the door closed behind him and sat down across from Jimin. 

Park Jimin has never called him a ‘freak’, a ‘mudblood’ or any of its variations. He has never cornered him in a hallway or pulled a wand at him with the intention to physically hurt. He does say some things that drive him crazy, that pulls at his strings, and prompts him into an argument. Park Jimin was arrogant and annoying. He was a show-off and strutted like he owned the place. He played around too much, he asked too much, and he said the wrong things too much. 

(More often than not, Yoongi said the wrong things too.)

“I’m not sulking,” huffed Jimin. 

Yoongi sighed and leaned back, turning his head to watch the scenery outside the window. The rumbling beneath their feet was a comfort. 

“Jeongguk stayed at the castle,” he pointed out. “Taehyung’s in another compartment.”

“Incredible observation skills,” muttered Jimin. 

“And you’re sulking.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

Months ago—years ago, Yoongi wouldn’t have sat alone with him, much less acknowledged his presence. 

“Something’s up with Daesong,” said Jimin, changing the subject. 

Yoongi shrugged, looking at him. “What else is new?”

“Has he been acting kind of strange these days? I mean, more than usual?”

He thought back to the numerous nights of trying to stay awake as much as he can. It’s never really safe to sleep in the same room as blood purity fanatics. He hears them whisper sometimes. Even though they realize it late, his dormmates always cast a charm so they couldn’t be overheard. That, or they sneak out to who knows where. Yoongi has tried to follow them a couple of times but it was too much of a risk. One against five would be a stupid move. 

“I think he has the mark,” he said, quietly. 

There was silence in their compartment for a moment. It shouldn’t be a surprise. They’ve talked about the possibility before. 

“Do you want to take this to the headmaster?” asked Jimin.

“Without proof?” replied Yoongi. “It’s not like we can ask Daesong to take off his clothes or something. He brags a lot but I don’t think he’s going to show off in front of anyone about that.”

Jimin nodded. “I know. I was just thinking we could let someone from the higher-ups know and ask them to keep an eye out.”

“What, got tired of monitoring the halls at night and doing rescues?”

Yoongi knew that Jimin had been sneaking out after curfew ever since they were first years but it was only now that they frequently crossed paths. Jimin stays with him, talks his ear off, goes missing after a few floors, and finds him again. 

And Yoongi also knew that something must have happened between the three. They were never apart for long and even the other students seem to have caught on but none of them knew why. It has been four months. No one knew if they fought or if they were all just pretending they’re ignoring one another, just another prank. 

Yoongi has talked to Jeongguk and Taehyung separately. If the three of them did fight, Yoongi couldn’t see any lingering anger or frustration from them. 

They just seemed… heartbroken. 

Even now, Jimin’s smile was sad. 

“What happened?” asked Yoongi, softly. 

Park Jimin is arrogant and annoying. He asks too much, talks too much, and does less of the wrong things nowadays. He still shows off, especially when he’s on a broom or when there’s a dueling activity in class. It's not so bad now. 

At least, Yoongi doesn't entertain the idea of tripping him as much as before. 

“Nothing,” said Jimin with a shake of his head. “I just think I’m an idiot.”

“Why?” asked Yoongi.

“I don’t think I’m a good friend.”

“What’s the correlation?”

“No idea.”

Yoongi sighed and leaned back. He extended a leg out and nudged Jimin’s foot with his. Jimin nudged back. Yoongi’s not thinking of tripping him, not at all. 

“I don’t think you’re a bad friend,” he said, gently. “I do think that you’re an idiot and you get up to a lot of stupid things and end up making the wrong decisions. Everyone does. I also think that those two make their own wrong decisions but unfortunately for all of us, you’re good for one another. I really can’t imagine a world where the three of you are not attached to the hip. It’s ridiculous to think about.”

Jimin glanced at him. “Something happened and I think there’s no coming back from it.”

“Well, take all the time that you need but…whatever happened, it already happened. I don’t think you can change it.”

And Yoongi could vouch for that because no matter how much time he has let pass, nothing would ever change the day his sister told him she doesn’t have a freak of a brother, that she doesn’t have a brother at all. Nothing would change the amount of times she has slammed the door in his face when he would try to talk to her or all the moments he has walked into a room only for her to leave. And it hurt because he loved her dearly and sometimes, he just wished he was normal. 

Maybe then, he wouldn’t have to be afraid every time he closed his eyes to sleep in a room of raging bigots. Maybe then, he would still be able to go to his sister and talk about the most mundane things and be a shoulder to cry on for her when she’s upset. 

His sister hated him. He didn’t think there’s anything that could change that. 

“Not even with a time turner, Min Yoongi-ssi?” 

Jimin’s voice cut through and Yoongi rolled his eyes. “It wouldn’t really do the job of erasing what you experienced the first time, would it? It’s still there in your head anyway. You just created another outcome.”

“I suppose so,” muttered Jimin with the same sad smile. “What would you do then?”

Yoongi nudged his foot again. “Well first, I’d stop brooding.” Jimin scowled. “And maybe I’d talk to one of my bestfriends. They’d probably been thinking about talking to me too but maybe they’re hesitant  so I’ll be the one to try.”

“Have you talked to them then?” asked Jimin. 

“They’re trying to be subtle,” sighed Yoongi. “They’ve asked about you, asked about each other.”

Jimin leaned forward and pushed up his glasses to bury his face in his hands. He took a deep breath and released it after a few seconds. Yoongi leaned forward as well and gently took hold of his wrists, pulling them away so his glasses slipped back down to his face. It was lopsided and Yoongi reached up again to fix it for him.

“Are you sure you don’t have a time turner somewhere?” Jimin whispered.

“I doubt there are many things you would want to change in your life,” Yoongi whispered back, hands falling close to Jimin’s.

Jimin gave him a smile, soft and something else entirely. Yoongi felt a twist inside him as their fingers touched one another’s.

“I could think of one, Min Yoongi-ssi.”

And Yoongi’s not thinking of walking away, not at all. 

He thinks he’s tired of walking away from Park Jimin. 

xv. habits

“I forgive you. I think I always will.”

“You really shouldn’t. I might be an idiot forever.”

“Yeah. I reckon I might be one too forever.”

They’re not touching, not this time, but they’re still close enough that if one of them moved just the slightest bit, they might just break. 

“See you when the sun comes up."

xvi. the end of times

…. because Seokjin-hyung wouldn’t want me to tell you this but it’s true. There really is a war. A lot have gone into hiding and some are reported to be missing. I haven’t heard from Hoseok yet but we know he’s on the move. It’s not safe out there and I reckon it won’t be safe there too for long. They’re gathering followers. They might already be inside.

I know you get up to a lot of stupid things but I know you’re not wholly stupid. Don’t take any risks. Tell your professors if anything, if anyone does something to harm you or the others.

Please be safe. Keep each other safe.

KNJ

The owls came, bringing in letters and newspapers. 

And the Great Hall erupted in gasps and cries.

The list of the dead was too long. 

Jeongguk looked across the hall, at his brother, at his tense posture, and the way Jeonghwa gripped the newspaper tightly. 

Jimin searched the list, Namjoon’s letter burning in his breast pocket. Seokjin, Hoseok, Namjoon… they have to be alive. When he glanced at the end of the table, Yoongi was getting up to leave.

Taehyung laid on the infirmary bed, too exhausted to move and talk. Everything hurt and he wished the pain would stop. He wished the world would just stop, for everything to end. 

But the world went on. 

A blown-up bookstore, abducted owners, missing fathers, mothers, children. A muggle family killed in their sleep. Lee Jihye, a third year Ravenclaw, was the first one to leave for home, to her brother’s funeral. More and more followed. Some of the students never came back.

Jimin didn’t hear from Namjoon again, not for a long while. 

xvii. close calls

All around him were muffled noises accompanied by one ringing sound, slicing through his head. Something dropped beside him. Rather, it was someone as their hands came to grip his shoulders, shaking him awake. When he opened his eyes, the world was alight with fire and smoke. Jeongguk was above him, soot on his face and robes and a cut on his forehead. Most of his hair had escaped the braid he had Jimin working on since they boarded the train. 

The train. 

Taehyung had been one of the first ones to get off along with the other prefects, tasked with getting the younger years to their transportations up to the castle. He had volunteered to stay back for stragglers, making sure everyone had gotten off the train. Jimin was nowhere to be found but he knew that Jeongguk liked to stay behind. So, he waited. 

He had just ushered six fourth-years out and had stepped off when he was lifted and thrown off his feet. He heard the screams then and the loud explosions before he lost consciousness. 

Now, Jeongguk was pulling him to his feet. 

“What happened?” he managed to choke out when he breathed in smoke.

Some of the carriages have been blown off and upended, blasted on the railway and the platform. The sheds were on fire. Debris and rubble surrounded them. From a distance, Taehyung could hear shouts.

“The others!” he said, stomach turning. “I was with Jisoo and-”

“Binna got them,” said Jeongguk, pulling him along the platform. “They’re making their way down to the village. They’ll call for help.”

Taehyung continued to search around him, trying to make out shapes. He hoped no one was left behind. He hoped that he did manage to get everyone off the train before the explosion. 

“Jimin?” he asked Jeongguk. “Yoongi?”

Before Jeongguk could respond, a red spark shot past their heads and they ducked instinctively. Taehyung felt himself dragged off to the side, back slammed against one of the booths as Jeongguk squeezed in beside him. Another spell hit the glass, shattering it and raining shards on them. Taehyung drew his wand, followed by Jeongguk. 

“Did you see who it was?” asked Taehyung. “Death Eaters?”

“It must be,” said Jeongguk. “How the hell did they get here?!”

The roof exploded and they curled in on themselves as chunks of wood fell on them. Jeongguk then shot up, wand high and tight in his grip. The air blew as another explosion resounded. This time, Taehyung knew it was from Jeongguk, giving them a few moments to escape their supposed hiding spot. And they did. 

The smoke was thick behind them as they ran along the platform. Sparks flew over their heads and Taehyung cast up a protective shield just as a spell grazed his cheek and he felt the sting. They ran out of the station and avoided the familiar road up to the castle, cautious of leading Death Eaters to more students. They headed for the trees. Jeongguk didn’t lead them too far off from the chaos but they dropped down to the ground and hid by a large oak.

“We should go back,” breathed Jeongguk.

Taehyung shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. We don’t know how many there are. Did you see any other students back there?”

“No. Binna had been checking the carriages when they blew everything up. She found me and we checked from the end until we came across you, Jisoo, and the others.”

Jeongguk grimaced from where he was crouched and Taehyung pulled him up to a sitting position so he could lean against the tree. 

“Where else are you hurt?” he asked. 

“Just my side,” answered Jeongguk. “It’s nothing, I just hit the ground a little too hard.”

Taehyung cast a healing spell over him and Jeongguk breathed sharply once before he seemingly sagged against the bark. Taehyung stitched the cut on his forehead as best as he could in the dark and with his hand shaking. 

When Jeongguk noticed, he held on to his wrist and pulled his hand down. 

“I’m okay, Taehyung-ah,” he said. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“I don’t know,” said Taehyung. “Will probably feel something later.”

Jeongguk cupped his cheek then, his hand cold against his skin. That’s when he felt the sting. A spell had grazed him earlier.

“Feel that now?” teased Jeongguk. 

“Yes, you prick,” said Taehyung, pushing him away. 

He settled beside Jeongguk, trying to calm his breathing and his hands. “Thank you for not leaving me behind, Gguk-ah.”

He thought of what would have happened if Jeongguk and Binna weren’t there. He thought of the fourth-years he was with. What would have the Death Eaters done to all of them if they were caught? Taehyung had been unconscious then and he felt sick at the idea that he probably would have never woken up again if they got to him first. 

Jeongguk held on to his hand, steadying it once more. “We can’t stay here. We have to keep moving.”

Taehyung nodded.

“Where’s Jimin?”

-

“Get down!”

Jimin was already pushing Jisoo towards the wall before Sang Ook, one of the barkeepers, had raised his wand. A second later, there was an explosion and Jimin knew it was the carriage parked in front of the tea shop, the one that two of the Death Eaters had been hiding behind. Sang Ook had always been hot-headed. 

The Death Eaters must have scampered off now to another hiding place but Jimin dearly hoped that Sang Ook was quick with his wand the way he was quick with collecting payment at the bar. He chanced a look and pulled back just as fast for a blue jet of light had been coming at him. He cursed as it hit the boulder. 

Jimin was supposed to stay behind because Jeongguk never did like joining the crowd up to the castle and Taehyung always made sure that the train was empty of students. Really, he should have stayed behind but he didn’t. He had bumped into Yoongi in the corridor, got off the train with him because Yoongi was now their Head Boy and he was needed with the large crowd that Jeongguk hated. They talked for the entirety of their walk to the carriages, letting younger students get on first. 

They still sent letters over the summer, saw each other once in a while with Jeongguk and Taehyung, and still— still, Jimin couldn’t stay away. And it was a problem. It has been a problem for a long while now.

“Yoongi-hyung,” called one of the Slytherin prefects who just climbed into a carriage. “Are we still meeting with Professor Kim before the feast?”

Yoongi nodded and started for their carriage when he noticed that there was only one spot left. He turned to Jimin, probably to say that he’ll just see him later at the Great Hall.

“Let’s get on the next one,” he said instead.

And that’s the problem, isn’t it?

“You get on,” urged Jimin to him. “You don’t want to keep Professor Kim waiting.”

“I have time,” reasoned Yoongi.

“You have Head Boy privilege, you mean?”

“Shut up.”

Jimin smiled. “I’ll see you later. Jeongguk and Taehyung are still at the station anyway. I’ll wait for them.”

“Leaving you three together and unsupervised seems like a bad decision.”

In the end, Yoongi left and Jimin waited until the carriage was out of sight. Then, he walked. If he was fortunate, his friends could just pick him up in their own carriage. He hoped being alone for a while would help but being left unsupervised with his thoughts was a bad decision. Everything led to Yoongi. It always did, for most of the time. (Jeongguk used to say that the rest of that time was just spent in denial.)

He won’t say anything, he has decided during the summer. He had tried to write as little as he could in his letters and he was never alone with Yoongi when they met up. He didn’t stand or sit close to him. He looked in his general direction when he was talking and made the proper amount of eye contact. Sometimes, he looked away too quickly. Jimin knew he wasn’t handling it quite well but Yoongi hadn’t said anything so maybe he didn’t notice or didn’t care that much. Whatever it was, Jimin was going to have to move on. 

But he went ahead and stuck close to Yoongi at the first sight of him in the train and Yoongi let him despite the distance that Jimin had been trying to put between them during the summer. And that’s the problem. 

So, he walked and walked. He made it to the village, wondering if he should try to drown his sorrows ahead of the feast. Then there was running behind him, a scream to his right, and the bookstore set alight with fire. It was Jisoo, a fourth-year, who had grabbed his arm, panicked and was close to tears. 

Jimin was only going to sort out his feelings and now he might just die. 

What a way to start off their final year. 

He huddled all of the students as the street came alive with shouts and spells again. He herded them towards Sang Ook’s pub and the barkeeper let them in without hesitation when he recognized Jimin. After all, he was friends with Jeon Jeongguk who was always the one making too many deals for a free drink. 

“What if they catch us here?” asked one of Jisoo’s classmates.

“They can’t,” answered Binna and then turned to Jimin. “The aurors would be on their way now, right?”

Jimin gestured for them to follow him behind the counter. “All the same, you can’t stay here. You have to keep moving.”

“What are you doing?” asked Jisoo because Jimin had muttered a revealing spell towards the floor. 

A trapdoor appeared right beside his feet. Jimin pulled it open and looked at the group.

“Right,” he said. “In you go, then. Just follow the path.”

The group shared glances with each other, flinching whenever one of the spells sounded too near to the pub. Binna took a step forward. 

“Where will it lead us?”

Jimin helped her down. “It comes out to that alcove near the statue of the sleeping dragon by the entrance. It will look like a dead end but just tap the wall three times and it will open.”

“Is this how you get around the castle undetected?” asked another one of them, following Binna. 

“Among other ways,” grinned Jimin. 

“Aren’t you coming with us?”

“I’ll be right behind you.”

One by one, they went down the trapdoor. Jisoo was the last of the group and before he was about to completely go out of sight, he looked back up at Jimin.

“Hyung,” he called. “They blew up the station. Jeongguk-hyung told us to go first. He’s with Taehyung-hyung.”

Jimin’s stomach had been already turning before but now it felt like everything inside was being scooped out. He nodded at Jisoo and closed the door. 

-

A new round of spells brought the street to life when reinforcements came. Sang Ook had no idea if they were aurors but he knew they were on their side when a man Apparated beside him, casting a protective spell just as a Death Eater had hurled a curse at him.

Come to think of it, he was sure the man beside him was Kim Seokjin, looking as vicious as he did when he once lost a card game at the pub. He heard a pop here and there, aware that there were more Apparating and Disapparating. He hoped the students from earlier had made it out safely. He trusted Park Jimin to lead the way. After all, he and his friends knew the trapdoor behind the counter all too well. 

“Have you seen Jimin?!” A body skidded to a stop to his right. “Binna? Jisoo-”

He has never seen Kim Taehyung look so alive and awake until now. 

“They took the secret passageway,” he was starting to reply when he turned just in time to see a spell rebounded and it shot straight towards a building. 

It was his building, the pub. For as long as he could remember, it was also his home. 

It gave a groan. Right before his eyes, the building began to cave in on itself.

xviii. renaissance

“He looks beautiful, doesn’t he?”

Beside him, Jeongguk was peeling his third tangerine. Yoongi had brought four for himself but found that he was in no mood to eat anything so he let Jeongguk have them all. He didn’t know if it was merely stress eating or if Jeongguk was really just hungry. 

“Like a painting,” he considered as they stared at the sleeping form of Jimin. 

“Don’t you ever let him hear you say that once he's conscious,” warned Taehyung from the other bed. “He’s going to say something stupid about being painted in the nude.”

Jeongguk popped a slice of tangerine in his mouth. “May I paint you in the nude, my darling?” And in response, Taehyung clicked his tongue and winked at him.

Yoongi could feel a headache coming. 

He supposed he would welcome that more than the sinking feeling he has had since last night. It was better than feeling like he could throw up everything inside him, including his heart. 

-

The attack had been sudden. One moment they were talking over each other as they walked up to the castle entrance and then the next thing everyone knew, they were being ushered quickly inside. 

“Professor!” he had called out, following Professor Kim and pushing past the flow of students. “What’s happening?”

“Get safely inside!” Professor Kim had yelled over his shoulder. “Get them all inside, Yoongi!”

It was the fear in his voice that had all of them moving quicker. Yoongi had herded everyone to the Great Hall, instructing prefects to take the lead. He kept guard by the entrance to make sure there weren’t any stragglers when the wall behind one of the statues moved. His wand was out in an instant.

Binna was the first to appear, ash and soot on her face and clothes. Her own wand was gripped tight in her hand. 

“They’re here,” she panted. 

And Yoongi knew immediately. 

He has always known that danger was just around the corner. One day, it won’t just be the prick from the next desk who tosses him badly-drawn pictures of him dying. It won’t just be the parent sneering at him when he goes to buy his required books for the year. It won’t just be the newspapers bringing the list of dead and missing.

One day—it might be a fine day at that—his name will be on that list.

He has become less concerned about that over the years. It wasn’t to say that he was arrogant in the face of danger or death. Yoongi will admit he is scared, very much so because he knew that one day it might not just be him only. 

Binna had told him of the attack at the station and the village. It was much later in the night, nearing midnight, when he found Jeongguk slumped a little ways outside the infirmary. He grinned widely in greeting and Yoongi was filled with the urge to hold him tight. 

“I missed all the action,” he settled for saying as he sat down on the floor.

Jeongguk shrugged. Yoongi thought it was more like a wince and when Jeongguk shifted closer, Yoongi met him halfway. 

“You wouldn’t have enjoyed it, really,” said Jeongguk with a wave of his hand. “The other team wasn’t much of a good sport. They almost brought a whole building down on our Quidditch captain. According to Sang-Ook, that old dear, his pub can house at least fifty people. So, imagine, that’s fifty against one very vulnerable idiot who chose to stay there instead of going down the trapdoor for safety.”

His head lolled until it landed on Yoongi’s shoulder. 

“It was fortunate timing that Kim Taehyung was there. Do you know him? Quite lanky, that one, but he kept that whole building up with his arms alone until they got our Quidditch captain out. Taehyung’s actually still there and hasn’t left his spot since or Sang Ook’s whole pub will come crashing down. It’s bad for business, you know?”

Yoongi chuckled. “Did you manage to swipe one of his bottles?”

He has already heard the bits of the story because Taehyung was in the castle and they both had to report to the headmaster. Yoongi had walked with him and Taehyung told him what had happened from the station to the village. He made an effort to be modest, of course, but he was too angry and exhausted to hide that he had kept the pub up long enough for someone to get Jimin out. 

Yoongi was the first to go into the office and he sat in front of the headmaster for almost an hour, listening to the story of a secret society, why it was formed, and what they hope to achieve and prevent. He sat there and was given an offer. An invitation to fight. The headmaster still let him know of the risks as if Yoongi was unaware of them, as if sharing sleeping quarters with soon-to-be Death Eaters didn’t scream out ‘risk’ already. The headmaster said he would understand if Yoongi would reject his offer. 

Yoongi didn’t have questions and he didn’t say a single thing. He only nodded and the headmaster told him he could go. Outside of the office, he nudged Taehyung back to consciousness and the taller boy dragged himself inside with a last tired smile to Yoongi. 

“Something black just shot straight inside,” Yoongi heard an Auror say on his way back to the Great Hall. “We didn’t find anything after. It was our luck that no one was inside.”

“Park Jimin wasn’t inside then?” asked another Auror. 

“No, I reckon he made it out using the back door before the whole thing could collapse. That Jeon kid was with him.”

“Thank heavens for that.”

And Yoongi certainly did so but the worry followed him through several corridors and flights of stairs. It hovered over him as the Heads of their Houses left instructions and he stood at the back while all the prefects were seated and huddled together. It twisted his insides as he led students back to their dormitories, patrolled more corridors, and heard news from ghosts passing by and gathering in corners. 

He saw a glimpse of Jung Hoseok with a group. Yoongi recognized some of them as they were former students. Hoseok had waved at him only and Yoongi let him be with a smile. 

Then, his feet took him to the direction of the infirmary and Jeongguk was waiting outside. They sat there on the floor, seeing people walk in and out, trying to hear a coherent sentence from the hubbub inside until the footsteps became softer and the voices became hushed. Taehyung joined them around midnight and he sagged on the other side of Yoongi. 

“Any news?” he asked, body falling sideways until his upper body landed on Yoongi’s legs. 

“Still knocked out,” replied Jeongguk. “They said it might be a couple more hours.”

Taehyung hummed with his eyes closed. “Better get comfortable then.”

“I’d rather you wouldn’t do so on me,” said Yoongi, shifting his legs.

“Too late,” mumbled Jeongguk, whose eyes had already been closed before Taehyung came. 

After a few hours, they managed to rouse themselves up to take a bath and change their clothes. It wasn’t a quiet day. The owls flew in and out, crowds formed to listen to stories about what happened last night, and newspapers were passed around. Classes wouldn’t start for now, not while there is a chance that they might all be sent back. Yoongi wondered if they would be safer in the confines of their home, if the evil in the world ever hesitated in front of porch lights long enough for the people inside to feel the stirring in their gut. 

It won’t be his family, Yoongi had thought. It won’t be his family who will open that door, expecting a neighbor or a friend only to see the end of a wand. 

It won’t be him, he thought as he glanced out the window and saw a clear day. 

The hours came and went and he was back at the infirmary. Jeongguk and Taehyung must have pestered the healer enough to be let in early because they were already there when Yoongi walked in. 

Presently, Jeongguk finished the last tangerine.

“Namjoon-hyung came by the dormitory,” he said. 

Yoongi had seen him leave the castle grounds earlier, following behind Seokjin and Hoseok. He heard from several students that they had Apparated to the village during the attack and helped.

“Is he okay?” asked Yoongi. 

“No injuries,” was Taehyung’s answer. “Seokjin-hyung came by as well. They’re exhausted.”

“How did they know? Last night, I mean. Others are saying they were there at the village.”

Jeongguk nodded. “They were. Old Soonhwa from the tea shop called for help.”

“I didn’t know they were close with Soonhwa,” frowned Yoongi. “I thought she banned them from her shop after Hoseok-ssi did something to one of her teas.”

“She’s in the Order,” said Taehyung, eyes trained up at the ceiling. 

Upon hearing what he said, Yoongi felt slow upon not realizing it immediately. Of course, the headmaster would have considered proximity. He would have visited the village and recruited allies. He might have called a few of the professors up to his office or knocked on their doors instead. Students in their last few months at the castle must have sat in front of him. Students like Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, and Kim Namjoon. 

Students like him, like Taehyung, Jeongguk, and Jimin.

Too soon. It was too soon. 

“Did you…” he began but couldn’t quite continue.

Jeongguk leaned back in his chair. “I haven’t said anything yet… but I want to join.”

A moment later, Taehyung said in a soft voice: “Me too.”

It was not a Quidditch game or some elaborate prank before the school year came to an end. It’s not a duelling match with their professors on the sidelines. It’s not just a mission to foil whatever plan Daesong or Hyunwoo has. They knew they were safe because they were protected by the castle walls and shields. They were not naive but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be scared so Yoongi recognized the quietness in their proclamation. 

He could feel his heart beating a little too hard in his chest even as he thought, It won’t be me.

“What about him?” he asked instead, nodding to Jimin’s sleeping form.

“He has thrill issues,” answered Taehyung. “He’ll probably march right up to the headmaster’s office and say he’s in before it’s even offered to him.”

“He’s also in love with me,” added Jeongguk, voice lilting. “As much as I wish he wouldn’t, he would follow after me. A little too loyal, I’d say.”

Yoongi smiled at that. All three of them were a little in love with each other. He had no doubt they’d follow each other to the ends of the world. A little too mad and a little too noble. Yes, a little too loyal. 

He gazed away from Jimin and realized that Jeongguk and Taehyung were looking at him. A silent waiting. Curious but not an ounce of judgement if Yoongi were ever to say that he’ll live a safe life. But that wasn’t an option, was it? How many innocent lives were taken already? How many witches and wizards who chose to hide have been dragged away from their families and homes anyway? Like what he felt when they were outside the infirmary, he felt the urge to hold Jeongguk, Taehyung, and Jimin. 

It was his fight as much as it was everyone else’s, he thought. 

Desperately, he thought once more: It won’t be them.

xix. history of magic

When they were first years, their professor in History of Magic, who had a monotone way of discussing his lessons, was interrupted by a question. It was rather like a record being suddenly stopped and their professor had stared at the arm stretched upwards. It was as if he was seeing a student for the first time. 

“What is the oldest magic?” was the hesitant question after a minute of silence in the room. 

Their professor stepped away from his board and leaned against his desk which groaned under the weight of too many books on top of it. 

“There are many debates,” he spoke and for once his voice deviated from that straight drone of flatness. “We’re not sure what was the first spell ever. Was it a verbal spell? A non-verbal spell? I suppose no one will be able to tell you a straight and correct answer.”

Another hand shot up. “What do you think it is, Professor?”

The desk gave a groan once more. “I think that survival must have played a part in the oldest magic. I think we were just doing magic without realizing what it was. There were no spell books to write down on. We just were surviving because how else would we be here now? We created tools, we built homes, we escaped and fought against predators.”

“Protection,” piped in a student. “A protection spell. It must be the oldest magic.”

“Yes,” said the professor. “You might be right. I guess you can say that protection is deeply ingrained in every one of us that we just do it without thinking, don’t we?”

A girl from the front sat up straight and said, “Like love!”

There was a mix of gagging and giggling in the classroom. A tease here and there and the girl glared at them. 

“I should say you’re also right,” their professor spoke and he smiled which immediately silenced the room. It wasn’t often that they saw him do that. It was as if it was their first time seeing him. “We protect because we love, don’t we? We’ve survived all these years because of love, haven’t we? Love for our magic, love for humanity, love for the world around us.”

He went back around his desk and faced the board again to resume his discussion. He glanced back to say, “Yes, I should think love is the oldest magic there is.”

xx. park jimin

It was a fine day. 

They met each other down at the dungeons, Yoongi having just stepped out of the Potions classroom after dropping off a late essay and Jimin pushed off the wall, having waited for at least five minutes. The map was tucked safely in his pocket, an almost light to nothing of a weight on his side that he tried not to be conscious of. It’s not like Yoongi knows he’s carrying it. 

“You know,” said Yoongi as he came closer to him. “Loads of good it will do for all the prefects and I if we had that map of yours.”

But of course, there were barely any secrets between them now.

Jimin looked scandalous as he said, “And let all of you abuse such power and skive off your responsibilities? Absolutely not, Min Yoongi-ssi.”

And Yoongi grinned, bright and beautiful. 

They walked side by side, seemingly with no direction. He didn’t know which one of them was leading the way. At one point, Yoongi grasped at his sleeve and led him away from the library, away from the crowd of students in the hallway, and they went up a flight of stairs instead. He only let go when they found themselves alone in a corridor. Jimin could still feel the brush of his fingers against his skin.

They switched topics from homeworks, to the latest gossip, to whether the school would let them go down to the village, to anything and everything. 

When they reached the top of the Astronomy tower, the sky was still light and blue and Jimin felt relieved. Nowadays, it felt like time was going by too fast. Too soon. It was too soon.

He settled down on the platform next to Yoongi.

“You know,” he began. “Binna dropped by yesterday after Quidditch practice. She asked if we were looking for a reserve.”

“Are you?” asked Yoongi.

Jimin nodded. “We’re already using our reserve seeker. Who knows how long Jaehyun will be banned from playing? That idiot.”

“A bit hypocritical of you to call him one when you’ve been doing stupid things that should have had you banned from playing as punishment.”

Potato and tomato or whatever the phrase was, Jimin was thinking of saying but he shrugged instead which Yoongi rolled his eyes at.

“Binna’s in the team then,” continued Yoongi for him. “She should play more regularly. She’s brilliant from what I’ve seen during tryouts.”

Jimin held back from asking if Yoongi thought he was brilliant at Quidditch too. If Yoongi was there during the tryouts because he wanted to see Jimin or if he was just there to discuss prefect matters with Taehyung at the stands. He didn’t ask, of course. 

He nodded at Yoongi’s observation. “If she does well this year, I’m sure her spot’s secure for next year.”

“Under a different captaincy?” 

Jimin didn’t miss the teasing tone in his voice. It was their last year as students, his last year in the Quidditch team, his last year as a Quidditch captain. 

“Eunkyung is going to be the next captain,” he said with certainty. “I know it. No doubt on her skills and she’s smart and level-headed. She will take Binna in.”

“It sounds like you’ve thought this through before,” mused Yoongi. “Were you afraid the team isn’t going to stand a chance against everyone?”

At that, Jimin scoffed. “Only an idiot thinks our team doesn’t stand a chance against everyone else.”

“Sounds like the Ravenclaw captain.”

Jimin grinned. “Exactly.”

They were silent after that as birds flew overhead. It was getting colder, even during the day. Even now, Jimin was wearing Taehyung’s sweater, borrowed (stolen, really) from a month ago. He tucked his hands inside the pockets of his robes for warmth. And for another thing. His hand came in contact with the fruit he snatched from the table after breakfast earlier. 

“Do you reckon you’ll still play after we leave?” asked Yoongi. 

Jimin glanced at him. “Quidditch?”

“Yes,” replied Yoongi. “I thought you wanted to play for life.”

“I’ll wait,” said Jimin.

“Wait?”

“Until all this is over.”

Yoongi nodded. Until the war is over. They didn’t often refer to it as that but everyone knew. “That’s what I thought too. There’s no point in travelling around the world and studying right now, given the state of things. And with what funds, anyway?”

“It might be safer on the other side of the world,” suggested Jimin. 

“I don’t want to hide,” muttered Yoongi with a shake of his head. “I don’t want to run away.”

“Of course. So there’s no persuading you into safety, then?”

“Nowhere is safe, you know that. Whether we’re here or anywhere else . ”

There were rumors that the other side had been extending their reach, travelling abroad in search of allies for their cause, dangling promises of freedom and power, and leaving their mark in both magical communities and muggle towns. Hoseok had written to Jimin and mentioned in just one sentence that Seokjin was going on holiday in Europe. He hasn’t received another letter since then. He wondered if that will be his life soon out there, disappearing for months on end, passing by faces in a meeting place, never staying too long, holding on to letters and hoping it won’t be the last he’ll receive from his friends. 

“It seems ridiculous,” began Yoongi. “There’s… there’s a war out there and we’re still thinking about what our lives are supposed to be like after we leave here. It seems childish when I think about it so I never really say it aloud. My heart’s not even entirely set on these plans. I think I can even let go of them gradually and I won’t regret it.”

Jimin shook his head. “It’s not childish. Everyone’s thought of it at some point. You don’t have to explain yourself. We’ll be joining the Order, assuming I can’t really persuade you out of it.” Yoongi glared at him for that. “We’ll fight, we’ll help, and we’ll win. Then, when all this is over, I’ll see you off on a boat or on a train or on that big white flying tube. You like travelling the long way.”

“A plane, Jimin-ah,” corrected Yoongi, fighting to keep the frown on his face. 

Jimin waved him off. “So you don’t have to scratch out your plans yet. They’ll just have to wait for now. What’s waiting a little now and then? It’s great, something to look forward to.”

Yoongi gave up and finally smiled at him, soft and beautiful. Jimin couldn’t take it and so he looked away, turning his attention instead to the tangerine in his pocket. He took it out and placed it gently into the curve of Yoongi’s hand. 

“Don’t worry,” he mumbled. “It’s a perfectly normal fruit. I didn’t bewitch it to make you sing opera three hours after you eat it.”

It earned him a laugh. Jimin didn’t want to see what a laugh looked like on Yoongi’s face. (He knew. He knew already: eyes closed, nose scrunched, a big, bright, and gummy smile. Yoongi laughed quietly but his shoulders would always shake and he’d become just slightly unbalanced so he'd bump into the person next to him. For so long Jimin has hoped to make him happy, it never seems to get any easier on his whole being every time it does happen. It slams into him, like a tide, always knowing it will come but never becoming prepared for it anyway. It’s a tide as Yoongi’s shoulder touches his.)

When they’ve both calmed down, Jimin kept his gaze on his lap. In his peripheral vision, he could see the tangerine rolling in Yoongi’s hands. 

“There are some things I don’t want to wait around for,” said Yoongi. “Things I might regret, stuff like that. I want to talk to my sister properly, I don’t want to wait until the time comes when she’ll truly have cut off all communication. I don’t know, maybe she already has. Maybe I won’t get to really talk to her. I’d like to think there is always a chance.”

“That’s the spirit,” Jimin piped in. 

He heard Yoongi hum, “I don’t want to wait for all this to end before I spend more time with friends. I don’t want to wait around for news about them. If I can be around them, I will be.”

Jimin hoped that by friends, he would be included in it. 

“I don’t want to wait and hide so you’re right, I’ll join the Order and if they have to send me out on a mission to the other side of the world, I’ll do it. You’ll see me off, right?”

There was a tug somewhere in Jimin’s heart as he nodded. “I’ll be right beside that what’s-it tube and levitate it myself.”

“And I don’t want to wait until it’s too late to tell people the truth.”

At that, Jimin glanced at him. “Like tell Daesong that the blond hair makes him look like a corn?”

“Sure, why not?” laughed Yoongi.

“And that Jeongguk is too dramatic,” continued Jimin.

“Oh definitely. I’m pleased you didn’t leave any room for argument there.”

“You don’t see him in the mornings when he's doing his hair. It’s a nightmare.”

It’s hopeless. The tug in his chest is now rattling around, like a loose firework, like alarm bells. He looked away again. It’s about the only thing he could do to not spill out his heart, to tell Yoongi that he’ll follow him to the other side of the world. 

“Jimin-ah.” It’s a soft call. He could have mistaken it for the wind. He hummed in response, an invitation for Yoongi to continue. 

“I don’t want to wait until we’re out there fighting or one of us is dying or that one day, when all this is over, and we made it out alive but we’ve separated ways.”

Impossible, Jimin kept repeating in his head. It’s always been hard to walk away from you. I’ve given that up. I will follow you anywhere.

He felt the space between them become wider and Jimin worried for a second that his stupid thoughts managed to crawl out of his mouth and speak with his own voice. He glanced at Yoongi only to find him already looking back. 

“I think I might love you.”

Yoongi spoke and it didn’t feel like being submerged underwater and hearing nothing but muffled noises. Everything was still clear as day. The wind passing by around the tower, the flapping of wings overhead, the occasional loud squabble from the school grounds, the thundering in Jimin’s ears, the breath that left Yoongi’s mouth.

Impossible, Jimin kept thinking again. 

Then came: No, you don’t. 

Then, desperately: Say it again. Tell me again. 

“Think?” was what he said, fragile and weak despite the smile he’s trying to form. “Might? You wound me, Min Yoongi-ssi.”

Yoongi couldn’t smile as well, not quite, but he’s inching closer, back to Jimin. 

“You’re an idiot,” he whispered.

“So I’ve been told,” Jimin whispered back. 

(Like a damn tide.)

The tangerine was still in Yoongi’s hand when Jimin kissed him. It rolled off somewhere when Yoongi’s fingers found their way to Jimin’s hair. It was forgotten when they lost their balance and for a moment, Jimin thought they must have fallen off of the Astronomy tower, now sailing through the air, but that was ridiculous because they were several feet away from the edge. Besides, Jimin felt the floor beneath him and felt Yoongi’s weight on top of him. 

It was ridiculous, entirely ridiculous because everything in the world is wrong and they are in the middle of the war and who knows how many years they have left. 

But that was what made Jimin hold on. He held on to Yoongi’s waist, to his back, to his shaking hands against his shoulders. Yoongi tipped sideways and Jimin followed, feeling the hard wood against his temple, his glasses digging too hard into his skin, feeling Yoongi’s breath against his lips as they laid close to each other. After a while, Yoongi made an embarrassed sound and rolled to his back, keeping his eyes firmly trained on the ceiling.

He was pink and beautiful. His hair fanned around him, red against the brown of the wood. Overcome with such affection and the need to be closer, Jimin placed a kiss on his shoulder and on his cheek. He sang Yoongi’s favorite song in his ear and Jimin saw him smile, heard him laugh and sing along. 

The sky around them remained clear and blue. Jimin kissed Yoongi again, slow and deep, and when he pulled away, he told him he loved him too. 

xxi. jeon jeongguk

It was a fine day. 

If most of the students were enjoying it outside, there was a high chance that Taehyung was relishing the silence of the common room. When Jeongguk got there, there were only a couple of first years playing a card game so he climbed up the stairs to their room. 

“Honey, I’m home!” he announced. 

Taehyung was situated on the window sill, a book propped up against his knee. Jeongguk knew he was too engrossed in it, with the way his back was hunched over and face was too close to the pages. It must be one of his fiction books. He rarely saw Taehyung interested in their own books for class. 

He stood across from him and leaned sideways against the wall. 

“Pay attention to me,” he said. 

Taehyung flipped a page and didn’t look up. “Your hair looks lovely today, Gguk-ah.”

Jeongguk huffed. Jimin had braided his hair earlier quite quickly because he wanted to see Yoongi before his first class. (“My love awaits me!” he had announced and Taehyung chucked a book at him.) Strands of Jeongguk’s hair had been escaping since then and so he had joined a couple of third year students at lunch to borrow a few clips and pins. He picked out the most colorful ones and enlisted their help in securing his hair. 

Knowing he won’t get Taehyung to look up for a while, he nudged the other boy’s legs until there was enough space for him to sit down. There was an accidental kick here and there, an intentional slap here and there, until they settled comfortably with Taehyung’s legs on top of Jeongguk’s. 

Jeongguk turned the window latch and pushed the window open. Immediately, the wind hit his face and he welcomed it. He would be down by the lake to enjoy the day more but he figured it was still okay where he was currently at, who he was with. He drummed his fingers gently on Taehyung’s legs as he watched the clouds pass by. He thought it might help as a distraction. 

If he turned his head at a certain angle, he could make out a shape similar to a goat’s. 

Jeonghwa has been ignoring him for weeks. 

If he narrowed his eyes, that little wisp of a cloud could pass off as fish.

Yoongi told him he saw Jeonghwa receive a letter and he threw it in the fire in the common room . 

If he kept one eye closed and the other eye open, it didn’t make a change. That cloud was still the shape of a goat. 

He received a letter too. Thinking back on it, it was quite funny how he had thrown it into the fire as well. He had watched as his name disappeared into ashes. They won’t get him. They won’t get his brother. They won’t get Jimin or Taehyung or Yoongi or anyone he’s ever loved. 

If he leaned back further, pressed his head against the wall behind him, maybe he’d see stars instead.

Nowadays, it feels like he’s running out of time. Too soon, it was too soon. 

If he stared too intensely at the sky without blinking, maybe he will witness how exactly the colors will change. 

Taehyung was too close. Taehyung was too warm. 

He closed his eyes, starting to feel a pain blooming at the right side of his head. His gums hurt, his teeth felt like they would fall off one by one, and he briefly imagined how Taehyung would react in front of him if it did happen. 

He let seconds, minutes, pass by. When he was younger, his mother used to just make him drink a potion and his headache would be gone in an instant. Years passed and he just settled for locking himself up in his room and staying still with his head under the pillows. Of course, it took longer for the pain to subside. Sometimes, he’ll just fall asleep. Sometimes, he’ll wake up with pounding still behind his right or left eye. 

Jeongguk could go to the infirmary right now, ask for a potion or maybe he could just crawl into his bed and sleep it away. The latter seemed like the better choice and just as he was about to move Taehyung’s legs off of his, he felt hands coming up to either side of his head. Fingers slipped through his hair, nudging pins and clips. Thumbs came to rest on his temples, making circular motions and then rubbing forwards, stretching his skin. 

“This feels horrible,” he mumbled.

Taehyung hummed. “That’s the point. I want you to suffer even more.”

“Job well done, my dearest. I’m in an absolute state of torture.”

He wondered if Taehyung was smiling.

“Have you seen Jimin anywhere?” he asked. 

“Down by the lake,” replied Taehyung. “Last I checked the map.”

“He’s probably carving his and Yoongi’s initials on some tree.”

“Or maybe Yoongi’s dunking his head in the lake.”

“It’s bound to happen at some point. It doesn’t matter that they’re together now.”

It had been quite a night when Jimin broke the news to them. He walked in with a barely contained smile. He was… pink. Jeongguk thought he must have gotten himself sick with something but that didn’t seem right. Jimin should have looked pale or probably green. He shouldn’t look too happy at the prospect of throwing up. He laid down beside Jeongguk in his bed and closed his eyes. He smiled tight-lipped, as if a laugh or a scream might burst out of him.

Taehyung had stood up from his own bed and nudged Jimin’s hip with a knee. 

“You dolt,” he said, almost whispering. “You’ve been gone all day and you had the map with you. Where were you?”

Jimin opened one eye and Jeongguk resisted the urge to squish his face out of endearment. 

“Up in the Astronomy Tower,” replied Jimin.

“With who?” asked Taheyung.

Jeongguk had a hunch. Apparently, Taehyung did too so he waved off his question and climbed over Jimin’s legs so he could join them on the bed. It was a tight fit.

“What Taehyung means to ask is,” began Jeongguk. “What were you and Yoongi doing up at the Astronomy Tower? I don’t suppose you were sightseeing.”

“Definitely not bird watching,” added Taehyung.

“Or rappelling from the tower to the ground?”

“How’d you know what rappelling is?”

“Please, I’m not an idiot.”

Jimin released a sigh that was a little too loud and a little too dreamily. He said, “He loves me.”

“He loves you not,” both Jeongguk and Taehyung responded at the same time. 

Normally, Jimin would have kicked them but when he continued to stare up at the ceiling with the same smile as if he’s watching a memory replay from somewhere above, Jeongguk and Taehyung didn’t need to question it. 

Park Jimin and Min Yoongi have finally gotten together.

That was three weeks ago and in the present time, Jeongguk found himself smiling and he felt Taehyung’s hands falter for a second before continuing.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

Jeongguk wiggled his eyebrows, eyes still closed. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Professor Choi trying to flirt with Old Soonhwa?”

He felt himself recoil at the memory of it. They had only witnessed the flirtation once when they were third years trying to hide from a couple of fifth year Hufflepuffs who were quite sore losers at a card game. 

“Poor Soonhwa-ssi,” said Jeongguk. 

“Poor me, ” argued Taehyung. “I was the one she pushed towards Professor Choi so he’d stop talking.”

“Ah, that one's funny. I can still remember how he dodged you and you faceplanted on the floor.”

“Nearly faceplanted.”

“Faceplanted.”

“Nearly.”

Finally, he opened his eyes. Too close, too close.

“Still in pain?” asked Taehyung.

“Very much,” replied Jeongguk. “You’re doing such a good job.”

“Why, thank you. I aim to make a business out of this.”

“It would sell quite well, I imagine.”

Jeongguk refrained from saying he’d be in line every single day. Taehyung only continued his ministrations for a while and Jeongguk focused on his face. 

The scar above his right eyebrow, Taehyung had picked at it during their exam season when they were fourth years. Jeongguk had slapped his hand away when he caught him in the act once. The scar across the bridge of his nose, it was there when they all came back for second year. Jeongguk had tried not to look at it too much before in fear of making Taehyung uncomfortable. The scar on his left cheek from the attack at the station, Jimin was the one who slapped his hand away when Taehyung picked at it. Tiny more scars were littered by his jaw. One too close to his eye. Another by his right temple. 

Taehyung’s eyelashes were too long and every time he blinked, Jeongguk would watch as they touched the skin below his eyes. 

Taehyung liked to peel the skin off his bottom lip. Sometimes, it would bleed. 

Taehyung didn’t blush easily but he would purse his lips and the corners of his mouth would turn down slightly. That was Jeongguk’s indication that he was flustered or shy.

Taehyung’s eyebrows often lifted when he overheard a stupid comment or discussion nearby. 

Taehyung’s hair covered his forehead. It was a rare occasion but every time he would have it pushed back with a stolen clip or two, Jeongguk found himself useless for most part of the day. 

Taehyung’s eyes were looking into his eyes. Too close, too close.

“Do you feel better?” asked Taehyung.

Jeongguk wanted to say no. 

“Much,” he muttered.

Taehyung’s hands left his head, his hair. Taehyung was pulling away entirely, eyes down, legs moving, hands moving to find purchase on the wall so he could stand. 

Jeongguk caught the sleeve of his sweater and he pulled until Taehyung was snug against him again. 

He was not going to be stupid about his own feelings. He knew that tug in his stomach whenever Taehyung brushed his fingers through his hair, keeping it out of his face. He knew that he stared too much whenever Taehyung wasn’t looking. There were many times when he wanted to reach out and take hold of his hands so he wouldn’t pick at every scar or drive Jeongguk crazy by touching his lips so often. Sometimes, he cared too much about moments like this, ones where it was just them, pretending like everything was normal between them. He felt a different kind of ache when Taehyung would hold out his hand, smile at him, and look at him from across the room. 

Jeongguk wanted more. 

It was that longing that had him shifting closer than ever, that had him pulling Taehyung closer to him. He went easily and soon their noses were touching and Jeongguk could feel Taehyung's breath on his lips.

Would they be this close if it was any other day? If they weren't in the confines of their dorm room and they were standing in some hallway or at the landing of some stairs? Jeongguk couldn't ponder too much on it. He had this and Taehyung's fingers were ghosting over his jaw. 

More. He wanted more. 

And it was that ache that had him leaning in, brushing lips against lips. He heard the stutter of a breath and he didn't know if it was his or Taehyung's. 

But this he knew: Taehyung pressing close, his name breathed against his mouth, a hand cupping the back of his neck, carding through his hair, the feel of warm skin beneath his hand, knocking of teeth, and the mumbled apologies.

This he knew: just Taehyung, everywhere, all around him, running like a furnace and Jeongguk is letting the sun consume him entirely with a kiss. 

And this he knew: if he could have this for a long, long time, it would be more than grand.

xxii. kim taehyung

It was a fine day. 

There was a population of people who were not too acquainted with how Kim Taehyung spends his time outside of school. They imagined he would be in bookshops or libraries with how much time he spends poring over books at school. What they didn’t know was that Taehyung learned how to magic his crime and fantasy novels to look like their readings for the year.

Then, there was another population—the one that knew him just a little bit more—who thought that Kim Taehyung must like to stay at home. He liked solitude and he loved to lay down. Where else would he get those if not in his own house? And it was true in some ways. He does like solitude and he does like staying in bed. It doesn’t necessarily matter if he gets those from his own home or someone else’s home and by someone else, it usually means Jimin. 

Taehyung thought it didn't matter anyway. They’ve finished their last year in school and in a few years time, they’ll long be forgotten. 

For now, it is summer. 

He took out a big old dictionary from under his bed and slipped Binna’s letter between the pages. She had written to tell him that she’ll be spending her summer in the countryside with her cousins and that she hoped he’ll have a good summer too. The main point of the letter was to tell him that she and Minjeong will be meeting up at some point during the break. It was accompanied by a lot of exclamation points. 

He will have to write a reply and tell her he hopes everything will work out and to ask if Binna could keep him updated on her progressing “friendship” with Minjeong. In truth, Taehyung just hoped he would not lose communication with her. 

There was a knock on his door and he looked over his shoulder to see his mother standing at the doorway.

“All unpacked?” she asked, smiling because she already knew the answer. 

His luggage was still in the corner, unopened. He had made plans to sort his belongings out but has yet to act on them. 

Still, he replied as his mother walked into the room, “Unpacked and tidied.”

She reached over to ruffle his hair before sitting down at the end of the bed, her back to him. As she glanced around his room, Taehyung realized how small she looked. He’s been always told that he was quite tall but seeing his mother didn’t make him feel like a giant. If anything, he felt like a child upon realizing that she was growing old, seeing the grays in her temple and her crow’s feet becoming more visible. 

It was too soon. 

“Please don’t grow old, Mom,” he spoke. 

At that, she turned and laughed. “So suddenly?”

Taehyung felt like he might cry so he crawled the short distance between them and his mother adjusted so he could settle his head on her lap, just like he always used to do as a child. 

I’m still a child, he wants to argue. 

“I don’t know what they’re teaching you at school,” his mother said. “But there’s no on and off button for my aging.”

He smiled and then she smiled too as if she realized what school Taehyung went to. She flicked his ear.

“I quite like what I look like now,” she added.

“I do too, Mom,” said Taehyung. “You’re always beautiful.”

“That’s nice to hear.”

“I’ll tell you everyday.”

“Everyday?”

His mother knew about the Order and that he joined. She knew that he would be asked to go on missions and that it could be completely uneventful or that it could be dangerous. She knew he’ll have to disappear for a week, maybe months. She knew that she might have to go into hiding too. 

“I’ll tell you everyday, Mom,” said Taehyung, his voice firm. “I promise.”

She gently brushed at his hair. “I haven’t always been a good mother to you, Taehyung-ah.”

“I haven’t always been a good son to you.”

“No, you’ve always been better.”

“At being a son? Compared to you? I don’t know, Mom.”

“Brat.”

Her hand trailed off to his shoulder, squeezing, as she bent down to plant a kiss on his temple. “I’m sorry for not being a good mother.” He began to disagree but she gently shushed him. “I wasn’t always, we both know that. I know you’ve made your decision and I know there’s no persuading you. And you’re so brave, my darling. You’re so smart and strong and you’ve always been the better, the best out of all of us.” A laugh escaped her. “I’m rambling. I’m sorry.”

He heard her sniffle and he felt her tremble. 

“Can’t I just keep you safe here with me?” she continued. “I’m going to protect you.”

That was when a sob left her and Taehyung sat up to wrap his arms around her. He buried his face in her hair as his own tears escaped him. For days, he had imagined her all alone in their house. He thought of asking her to move in with a relative, to the countryside, to a house with a garden so she could plant anything she wanted. He thought of the days when he might visit her and wondered if her hair would have become all grey by then. He wondered if he would ever be able to come home to her again if he left.

For a while, they just sat there, holding each other until his mother seemed to calm down. Taehyung pulled back just so he could see her face.

“It’s going to be okay, Mom,” he said. “Everything will be okay.”

And he didn’t know what else to say, what else he could promise, and his mother knew. Of course, she knew. So, she hugged him this time.

“You’ve grown so well,” she mused. “Are all boys at school like you?”

“A few,” he mumbled. 

“And are those the boys who will be picking you up today?”

“I hope not. They’re trouble.”

“Like you then.”

As if on cue, they heard a loud honk outside. Taehyung groaned and his mother laughed at his reaction. She stood up and walked over to the window, leaning out to wave.

The first voice that Taehyung heard was from Jimin: “Looking lovely as ever!”

Then, Jeongguk's: “Can Taehyung come out to play?”

Then lastly, it was Yoongi’s: “It’s nice to meet you!”

After Taehyung’s mother had exchanged greetings with them, she turned back to him, eyebrows raised at his frown.

“It’s the first week of summer,” he reasoned. “We’ve only just seen each other last week at school and then on the train.”

His mother tutted. “Don’t pretend, Taehyung-ah. You are in love with those boys too much. Now, get out of the house. It’s the first week of summer and you’re going to want to spend it with them.”

Yes, his mother is in the small population of people who knows how he spends his summer. He grabbed his wand and she saw him off downstairs and waited for him to put on his shoes. Once done, he stood up straight and brought his mother into another hug. 

“Don’t break any laws,” she said, muffled against his shirt. 

“I will never,” he said, acting offended. 

He opened the door to the other remaining members of the small population. Min Yoongi waved at him, Park Jimin grinned at him, and Jeon Jeongguk looked like he was trying to fight a smile. Taheyung’s stomach lurched and that wasn’t only because of the car parked behind them. He fought against the feeling and felt the tips of his fingers tingling instead as he walked towards them.

“Please tell me one of you has a license,” he said in greeting.

Jimin seemed affronted at that. “I’m of age.”

“He doesn’t have a license,” piped in Yoongi. “I do, so I will be driving.”

"He likes travelling the long way," said Jimin.

"We know," chorused Jeongguk and Taehyung.

And so they piled inside, Yoongi behind the wheel, Jimin in the passenger seat, and Jeongguk and Taehyung at the back. Their thighs touched as they settled back comfortably against the seat. 

“Where to?” asked Yoongi, starting the engine.

“To the city?” suggested Jeongguk.

“Too many people,” said Jimin. 

Jeongguk leaned forward just so he could pat Jimin’s shoulder consolingly. “I know you are scared of getting lost but Yoongi will hold your hand the entire time. Don’t worry.”

Yoongi turned his head so he was looking out the window instead. 

“Shut up, Gguk-ah,” said Jimin but the supposed effect was unsuccessful because he was smiling. 

They decided to just drive for now and Yoongi indulged them as they rattled off places they could go to. At some point, the suggestions became too ridiculous like going up to space that they just gave up and drifted off to other topics. They steered clear of the Order and of the current news. Taehyung supposed that they might talk about it later because it would be impossible not to. For now, they talked about the rumor of a dragon being kept in the bank, hidden in the depths below. They talked about the food that Jimin could make for them. They talked about newly released music, that Binna had sent them all a letter, and that Jeongguk is looking into buying a motorcycle.

After a moment of silence, Yoongi asked again, “Where to?”

Taehyung shifted. “To the sea?”

“At this hour?” said Jimin, looking at him through the rearview mirror.

They might arrive there by nightfall if they continue to travel by car but as Taehyung looked out and saw the endless fields and the blue sky, he shrugged. It was still a fine day to try to do anything and everything.

“To the sea then,” he heard Yoongi say. 

He felt a nudge to his hand and when he turned, Jeongguk was already looking at him. 

“What?” he asked.

Jeongguk shook his head. “I just adore you.”

He leaned over to kiss his cheek softly and Taehyung held on to his hand. 

This time, he no longer felt the need to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling as he looked at the people he was with. He didn’t know when he had stopped doing it. His heart still felt like it would burst, not out of repeated realization that he is a friend and he has friends but just because it was them. Just because they always made him feel like that out of adoration, out of endearment, out of loyalty and trust, out of love that he will never be able to describe. It was love that he has carried then and always will. He was glad for it. 

And so they went off to the sea.