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“Feels good, right?” Willie grinned at the dazed look in Alex’s eyes.
The nervous smile that spread across Alex’s face set off butterflies in their stomach. “Yeah. It does.”
They suddenly noticed how shaken Alex looked and gripped his hand tighter as they pulled him to sit back down on the bench. Willie watched as the younger boy leaned forward onto his knees and let out a few sharp breaths. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Alex glanced up at them, and the vulnerable look in his eyes set off a whole new spark in their heart. “Actually, yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. I just -” Willie gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and he squeezed back. “I’ve just never really opened up to anyone, other than the guys, before. The nineties definitely build trust issues.”
Willie flinched slightly at Alex’s confession, but they shoved all the panic that they were manipulating the most sincere, amazing person they had ever met down as far as they could. Fuck you, conscience. “I get it, you know, my dad died when I was 3 and my mom was always one foot in, one foot out. There was a new social worker every week, and I had to convince each one that everything was fine and stable so my little sister didn’t get taken away. Foster care was pretty shit in 87, but I still had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do.”
Alex’s face softened at the mention of their sister. “I’m sorry, Wils. What was her name?”
Willie smiled sadly and leaned into his embrace when Alex wrapped an arm around their shoulders. “Briley. She was 10, when I, you know, died.”
“I had an older sister. Her name was Allie. She was the only one outside the band who supported me when I came out.” He swallowed hard and Willie pulled him closer, threading their fingers together.
“Tell me about it.”
“It was so weird, you know. Figuring out I was…”
Willie smiled sympathetically and finished, “Gay. It’s not a bad word, you just have to adapt to saying it. It definitely carries a lot of historical trauma. Fuck homophobia.” Alex choked out a laugh and looked around, blinking a little too hard. Willie pretended to not notice.
“Yeah. You know.” He inhaled sharply and they pressed a kiss to his knuckles, letting him know he was in a safe space. Alex let out a shaky breath and continued, “I was told my whole life that guys like girls and girls like guys and anyone else is wrong and sinful. My mom even set me up with some girl from our church when I was 15.”
Willie cackled. “She didn’t.”
Alex nodded, and they felt some of the tension in his shoulders ease. “Oh, she did. Yeah, and obviously I broke up with her, cause hello. Gay. And then Luke kissed me on ‘accident’ during practice one day and everything went to shit.”
“Wait, what? Luke? You? How? What? When? Why? Did you? Do you? I? What?”
“Deep breaths, Willie.”
The amusement in his voice made Willie realize how panicked and flustered they’d suddenly become, and they took in deep gaping gasps of air. Something sharp and angry and possessive and a little too green for their liking clawed at their heart.
Um. Ok. That was new.
“Sorry, you were saying?”
“I don’t like him, you know? He’s practically my brother. We were just teenagers with too many hormones discovering sexuality. There’s no way in hell I could ever like Luke. Romantically, I mean.”
Willie nodded, and they felt a weight they didn’t know existed lift off their chest.
No.
Willie.
Get it together.
You do not like Alex.
You do not like Alex.
But Alex is so amazing and sweet and talented and anxious and–
No.
No.
You Do NOT Like Alex
You Can Not Like Alex.
You love A–
No.
You Do Not Love Alex.
Too Late.
No.
You Can Not Love Alex.
Too Bad.
No.
Willie.
Get it together.
You love Alex so you must protect Alex and to protect Alex you must NOT love Alex.
Willie coughed a bit and nodded again. “Yeah, I mean, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I mean. You can. If you want. But you don't have to.”
Alex grinned a bit at how obviously flustered they were, and they kicked themselves for being so . . . well . . . obvious. “Yeah, and dating in the band is also a recipe for disaster. The number one rule of the band, don’t date the band. Speaking of . . . the band. I should probably get back to the band.”
“I’m sure the band is waiting for you. You should return to the band and help the band write the band . . . stuff.” Alex chuckled at their lack of music knowledge and pulled them into a tight hug.
“It’s ok. I’ll teach you band lingo next time.”
They settled into the warm embrace and sighed softly. “Next time. Where are we going for our next date?”
“This was supposed to be a date?” This bitc-
Willie pulled away and gaped at Alex, their jaw hitting the ground. “I - I will not be dignifying that dumbass question with a response.”
“What did I say?” The absolute confusion in Alex’s voice sent Willie over the edge and they burst out laughing until they were doubled over.
“See you later, Hotdog.” They watched as Alex shot them one more - albeit confused - smile before heading back to the studio, and they stared at the spot he had just vacated, their heart swelling with happiness. They hadn’t felt this happy since they’d last seen their sister. Alex was different. He was special. And Willie would do whatever they could to make him as happy as they were.
Their thoughts were cut off by the telltale sound of a ghost poofing in, and immediately a chill of utter fear and dread rose up their spine. Willie looked up to see the very ghost they swore to protect Alex from.
“Hello, William.”