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It was just something Simon said, spontaneously, exasperatedly and dare Magnus say, maybe also a bit fondly. Alec was just being Alec and Magnus loves the man but even he has to admit that his boyfriend is a sassy little shit most of the time. So Simon said something, Alec said something back… and he rolled his eyes, in that way of his that can rival even Raphael’s eye-rolls.
“You know what, I can’t wait to see you deal with your own kid when they start rolling their eyes at you!”
Simon blurted it out, unthinking and unmeaning anything else with it. Even Alec didn’t catch it, he just continued bickering with the younger vampire. As if there wasn’t a big, obvious elephant in the room right there with them.
Raphael and Magnus exchanged a quick look - Raphael’s was calculating, checking on his friend, never pitying; Magnus was just… stunned.
It was an unspoken rule between immortals to never bring up the subject of kids. Vampires couldn’t have children – even if Raphael wasn’t forever stuck in his late teens, even if he’d been turned later in life, even if he wasn’t in love with another guy, it was still something he could never have.
Warlocks, born out of an assault of a kind and always bearing the stain of their demonic blood, also couldn’t reproduce. A warlock was never born to or by another warlock.
To say it was a sensitive subject between Downworlders was putting it mildly.
Simon, so newly turned and ignorant, couldn’t have known that.
Raphael, always the diplomat, smoothly changed the subject to something else.
Only Magnus gratefully noticed.
The thought didn’t leave Magnus’s mind. It swirled and fermented but what came out of it was not a beautifully aged wine but something dark and choking him, constricting his chest painfully. They’d just gotten somewhere with their relationship, Alec and him. They were just finally somewhat stable. Magnus had even dared to believe that they had been going somewhere.
Where?
Alec was… amazing with children. Magnus had seen him with his younger brother Max, with Matzie. He was a natural and he’d be an amazing father one day. Was Magnus a hindrance in his path? Was he stopping him, preventing Alec to have what he truly longed for?
“Hey.”
Magnus quickly schooled his face in a smile, looking up at his boyfriend.
Alec frowned.
“Don’t do that”, he said. Magnus’ heart skipped a beat but he still freighted ignorance when he hummed questioningly, frowning slightly himself. Alec sat down next to him and carefully took Magnus’ ring-adorned hand in his own. “Don’t hide from me.”
Magnus looked away; he had to. Even having hundredths of years of practice to be a good actor he could never fool Alexander Lightwood; he could never bear the intensity in those deep blue eyes.
“What is it? Talk to me.”
The gentle push was just that: a nudge; never the command it could be, the way he knew Alec commanded his soldiers at the Institute. But he was never like that with Magnus.
“Do you want kids?”, Magnus blurted.
“Do I… what?”, Alec’s frown was confused.
“Kids”, Magnus insisted. “Little Lightwoods.”
“I mean… sure. One day”, Alec shrugged.
Magnus could understand his nonchalance now – you hardly think about becoming a father in your early twenties. But… give it a few more years… if they were even together for that long…
“Mags”, another gentle push. “Where did that come from?”
“You’d be a great dad”, Magnus sighed. “And. I can’t give you that.”
Alec looked taken aback. Here it is, Magnus thought; the realization.
“Because… you’re a guy? A warlock?”, Alec’s frown deepened.
“Both. All of that”, Magnus whispered.
Alec took a deep breath. He looked like he was choosing his words carefully.
“There are… people who can have kids; easily even. But they shouldn’t.”
Magnus’ heart clenched. Was his sweet Alec telling him that it was better this way, that Magnus couldn’t have his own biological children?
“My parents for example.”
Oh. Right.
“I mean, we turned out okay. Mostly. Hopefully”, that lopsided smirk that Magnus loved pulled at Alec’s lips and a faint blush rose on his cheeks. Then the smile faded. “But they aren’t exactly parenting models, right?”
He sighed.
“Magnus, what I’m trying to say is, that having the… capability or whatever you wanna call it, to have kids, doesn’t automatically mean that you should. Just like don’t having it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.”
Magnus’s chest was a tight, tight knot and it was hard to breathe.
“What are you telling me, Alexander?”
“I’m telling you that this talk is far from over; that I’m sure we’ll have many more like it. That you’ll turn it into a discussion of immortality at some point. That you will worry if I’m aware of what that means and I’ll have to convince you that I am. You’ll wonder if I’m sure and won’t believe me at first, not fully, even though you want to, when I tell you that I am. I am sure. This is it for me, for as long as we have, even though your ‘long’ and my ‘long’ are different. And then, years from now, we’ll sit and talk again. About kids, plural. Maybe adoption? Maybe surrogacy because you’ll graciously bring up preserving the Lightwood gene and I’ll tell you to not be stupid. We’ll talk about a baby girl and will probably end up with two boys.”
Magnus was crying now and not even trying to hide it. It was probably the longest Alec had ever spoken and he sounded so damn sure. Like it wasn’t just a fleeting thought and a strange conversation that he was having with his warlock boyfriend after a miscalculated exclamation from one of their vampire friends. It was so surreal. Yet so real.
“You’re sure”, he choked out.
Alec gathered him in his strong arms.
“I am. But as I said, we have at least a few more years of such talks till it finally really gets to you.”
Magnus snorted wetly. He was still hesitant. But right now, in his boyfriend’s strong embrace, he chose to believe.
15 years later
The clash from the kitchen made them both jump in their bed, groan and hide back under the pillow or blanket. There was a shriek. Another smash. More yelling.
“Who cursed me with teenagers?”, Magnus whined.
“I told you we’ll end up with two boys”, Alec groaned.
“And they are destroying the kitchen, it seems”, Magnus mused.
None of them moved. More yells and what sounded like a small explosion sounded somewhere in the loft.
“We should check up on them”, Magnus noted.
“They are probably using magic, that’s your expertise”, Alec smirked smugly.
“Oh? Should I call you if they’ve pulled out the seraph blades?”, Magnus asked, finally standing up from the bed.
“Do”, Alec smiled serenely, snuggling into Magnus’ part of the bed.
Magnus shook his head and went to inspect the damage.
The kitchen was mostly intact. Which couldn’t be said about the living room, which looked like a hurricane went through it.
Or two hurricanes.
Magnus took a deep breath and was just about to turn the corner when something caught his eye.
A ninja star. Sticking from the wall.
He grinned.
Weapons were not, in fact, his expertise.
“Oh, Aleeec?”