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Adolin found the razor blade to be a fine weapon. He honed his craft the way he would any other weapon, and his reward for this proficiency? A face as clean and free from stubble as... something smooth. Like a chull shell. He was also not a poet. Regardless, he liked the feeling of having a smooth face. He didn't have anything to prove by growing out his beard, there would be plenty of time for that when he hit his older years.
And it was certainly because it grew in patchy, storm it.
Adolin lathered his face up in the mirror and began his work. If there were ever a time he was glad for the practice, it was now. The day before his wedding. He was starting to think this day would never come, with his luck with women. But Shallan. Shallan Davar.
Shallan... Kholin.
He grinned at the sound of that. Soon she would be his, and he hers, bonded together.
"I don't think you're supposed to be smiling at your reflection as much as you do." Renarin pointed out from the bed. He had one leg over the other, keeping his hands busy idly with his box while he waited. He was happy to spend the time before Adolin left for his ritual prayers. It would be the last time they spent together before the wedding itself.
"My wedding is tomorrow, I will smile as much as I like." Adolin took care of his side burns, inspecting both sides of his face for evenness before he continued, "I'll get you next, if you want."
"That'd be great." Renarin felt his mind slipping back to other thoughts. How the feeling of stubble would feel against his hands, against his cheek, under his lips...
Speak the words, Renarin.
Except this time, it wasn't an Oath that itched to escape his mouth. It was a truth that, since learning of it's existence, has both haunted and scared him. It changed everything. But at the same time... did it change anything at all? It wasn't as if it was uncommon, just another type of preference. He had started to believe he didn't have one at all, but then-
"Aren't I the one who's supposed to be consumed by thoughts today?" Adolin laughed, meeting Renarin's eyes in the mirror. Renarin looked away, for more reasons that eye contact making him uncomfortable.
"I was thinking about what you said before. About bringing a date." That wasn't exactly what Adolin had said. It was more along the lines of, 'You're my brother and I want you to stand by my side at the most important day of my life, while someone stands beside Shallan.' Shallan was expected to have Jasnah by her side, and while Renarin didn't mind dancing with his cousin, weddings were...
Something to have a date for.
"Are you going to attempt to court at my wedding, Renarin?" Adolin grinned again, this time turning to look at his little brother. None of the previous attempts to set Renarin up with the ladies at the warcamps had worked, this was an improvement.
"That's... what I wanted to talk to you about, actually." Color began to rise on Renarin's cheeks, and he looked very intently at his hands, for more reasons than not looking at his brother's curious gaze. "I think... I do know someone I'm interested in."
Adolin was by his side in a moment, his smile as infectious as ever, even if he did look silly with the foam on his face. It gave Renarin something to look at that wasn't his brother's eyes.
"That's great! Who is it? Someone I know?" Adolin didn't reach out to grab him, but it was clear he wanted to. Adolin had always been so great about Renarin's boundaries. He understood, and Renarin loved that about him.
"...Yes." Renarin admitted, putting his cube to the bed, biting his lip as he moved to meet his brother's eyes.
Say it. You'll feel better once you tell someone.
The only one who knew was Glys, mainly because Renarin couldn't keep anything from his spren. They were connected, mind and soul. It was the spren's idea to tell Adolin in the first place, seeing as it had taken up so much space in his mind as of late. Renarin felt like if he didn't tell someone about his crush, he was going to explode.
"Are you going to make me guess?" Adolin laughed, and Renarin looked away again, fiddling with the blankets. He could do this. Adolin loved him more than anything else in the world, and he knew nothing would change that.
And yet.
"I'm trying... words are..."
Adolin put his hands on his brother's shoulders lightly, getting down on Renarin's level by crouching. The feeling of being touched making Renarin's breathing stutter for a moment before he regained his composure. He was shaking. Why was he shaking? Why was this so scary?
"Hey. Hey, it's okay. Take your time. I'm here." Adolin spoke softly. That foam was not making it easy to take him seriously.
"You do know... him." Renarin took a deep breath, moving to look at Adolin. His smile had faltered slightly and Renarin wasn't sure why. His chest was so tight. Was that a bad sign? Maybe he shouldn't have said-
"Storms Renarin! If I knew you were interested in men, I would have gone about getting you to court them instead of women. Unless it's women too?" The smile was returning. Okay, teasing. He could handle teasing. This was okay. He was okay.
"It's the first time I've ever felt this way, so I think it's just him. Or maybe it is more guys? I haven't really thought about anyone else this way."
"Is it Stormblessed?"
Renarin met his brother's eyes, color returning to his cheeks. "It's not Kaladin!"
"Okay, okay." Adolin laughed, and it was so reliving to hear him laughing, "I'm just saying, if I was going to court a man, it would definitely be Kaladin. He has that look about him that women like. And I guess guys too. I've heard talk."
'If I were going to court a man.'
Renarin started laughing, the sound more shocked than anything, "If you courted men, there'd be no one left on Roshar for anyone else."
"Hey! I'm getting married tomorrow." Adolin pointed out, the angle of his mouth seemed like a pout, but he couldn't stop his smile. Soon Renarin was smiling too, then tears spilled from his eyes. Relieved tears? He wished he could hum a rhythm to make it make sense. His feelings. He was feeling so many things and hardly any of them made sense.
"Hey, deep breaths..." Adolin stood back up, only to sit next to his brother, pulling him into a side hug, breathing evenly. Renarin leaned on his brother's bare shoulder and attempted to match his pace. It was so much. "Thank you for telling me."
"I haven't told anyone else." Renarin admitted, sitting back now that he was a bit more composed.
"And you waited for my wedding day?"
"Your wedding day is tomorrow. You're going to be busy after I leave."
"I'm supposed to be meditating on my nuptials."
"I couldn't... keep it in any longer." Renarin blushed again, and a truly beautiful laugh erupted from his brother.
"I remember my first crush." Adolin patted Renarin on the shoulder before standing once more, going back to the mirror and his razor, "One of father's scribes."
"No!" This was of course, sarcasm. Renarin also remembered when Adolin began to focus on girls. The world trembled at what it was unleashing.
"I think I was 7 or 8. She was probably our age now, it would have never worked out." Adolin wiped off his face, then pulled on a shirt.
"I can't stop thinking about him." Renarin fell back into the sheets. They were silken under his hands, not scratchy like some fabrics were, He hated how they felt on his skin.
"My poor brother has it bad." Adolin didn't put on his uniform jacket yet. He had a brother to make handsome. "Come on, I promised you a shave."
Renarin sighed, standing up and going to sit in the restroom, taking off his Kholin blue jacket so it didn't get messy.
"I'm going to regret asking this, but.. how do you stand it? I know I tease you about your courting, and probably will have to continue now that you're getting married how much you care about Shallan-" Adolin held up the foam puff threatenly, and Renarin closed his mouth quickly.
"Sometimes are worse than others," Adolin got an even coat over Renarin's cheeks and chin, tilting him this way and that to make sure he wasn't missing a spot, "at least at first. I used to think about a new partner all the time. Things to do together, what to talk about, other... activities."
Adolin dropped his hand, going to pick up the razor. He sharpened it on a piece of leather, a wicked grin coming to his face, "Do we need to get you a chaperone? I happen to know a good one. Made sure me and Shallan absolutely did not mate before our wedding."
If the foam could bake on Renarin's face, he was sure it would from the heat.
"I just told you about it, I haven't even brought it up with him yet!" Renarin realized too late he'd left his cube on the bed and whined under his breath. "Besides... I wouldn't even... I don't know how..." Storms this was embarrassing.
"You gonna tell me who it is?" Adolin sing-songed, tilting Renarin's head gently as be began his work.
"It's... Rlain."
"Storms!" Adolin's hand slipped, nicking his brother's cheek. Renarin hissed sharply, breathing in stormlight from a nearby lamp. The wound closed instantly, but Renarin still gave Adolin a sour look.
"Sorry, sorry. You just surprised me. I really did think it was Kal."
"He's my captain. I don't... he's handsome enough but..."
Kaladin Stormblessed was on a whole other level.
"Some people are into that Captain/subordinate thing."
"Please focus, Adolin."
"Right, right. Rlain, huh? I can see it. He is... handsome, for a Singer."
"He... gets me. I think?" Renarin fiddled with his sleeves, trying not to move his face too much. He closed his eyes, remembering the few times they were working together and their fingers happened to brush. Renarin always pulled away, but he always thought about what would happen if he lingered just a few moments more, "And he's... very tall."
Adolin pulled back quick enough that he didn't cut his brother again, but he had to stifle a guffaw.
"He sure is. As tall as Stormblessed."
"Are you sure you don't have a crush on Kaladin, Adolin?"
"Just making conversation! Offer for chaperone is still on the table."
"I don't need a chaperone, thank you!"
They stared at each other, then began to laugh.
It was... silly. This was all silly.
"No chaperone, then." Adolin said once they both regained themselves, making quick work of Renarin's face. Smooth and moisturized. Adolin gave his cheek a light pat to let his brother know he was finished and Renarin wiped off his face with a soft towel. He was absolutely not using it to hide.
"I think... After the wedding, I'll sit with him." Renarin said quietly.
"He'll have to be sitting, he's too tall."
Renarin smacked Adolin with the towel, the sounds of laughter escaping the room behind him.
"Hey... Can you... keep it to yourself for a little while?" Renarin asked, slipping his jacket back on, "I am still figuring things out. I want to do it in my own time."
"Your secret is safe with me." Adolin raised his fist, Renarin pressed his own against it gently.
"You promise?"
"I promise." Adolin's grin was infectious, and before Renarin even considered moving, he found his arms around his big brother, squeezing him tightly. Adolin hugged back just as tight, and even though Renarin thought touch was uncomfortable, this hug was exactly what he needed. The tightness in his chest lessened, his heartbeat thrumming in a rhythm of affection for his brother.