Chapter Text
Azula hadn't always been fond of her younger brother. She had never wanted a sibling in the first place, and she especially didn't want said sibling to be a baby boy. She was the perfect daughter already, so it wouldn't be difficult to be the favorite child if the family were to welcome a new princess. But a prince, even one that wouldn't inherit the throne, was a completely different story.
So Azula prayed for a sister. A stupid, boring, incompetent, disobedient and disrespectful sister that would do nothing but cause trouble and bring the family great shame. Even better if she was a non-bender, and was either too ugly to ever get married or couldn't have kids as an adult.
But for once in her life, Azula wasn't lucky. Zuko was born just a week before the princess's sixth birthday, and she had to watch how mom's entire time was devoted to the new baby that everyone, even dad, adored because a male heir was more important. The only one that seemed indifferent was grandpa Azulon, but only because he cared about his firstborn's lineage, and no one else's.
Even worse: the kid was adorable, sweet and eager to please. He was easy to love with his innocent smile, cute laugh, curious eyes, grabby hands, and cheeks that were just begging to be pinched. He even looked a bit like Ozai already, much to father's pride and Azula's dismay.
The princess swore to hate him. But it seemed that little dumbass was determined to make everyone like him - including his big sister.
The kid adored her. He'd giggle and clap the most when she was the one playing with him, she was the only person other than Ursa that could always get him to stop crying, and 'Zula' had been his first word. As soon as he learned to walk, he'd constantly follow her around. She was in most of his drawings, and he'd gladly accept any old toy she had grown bored of as if it were the most special gift in the whole world.
When he was five and discovered that married women usually moved out of their family home to go live with their husbands, he had begged Azula to marry him, even stealing some of mother's jewelry to give to her, in a childish attempt at courtship; He had been completely distressed when she said siblings don't get married, and didn't calm down until she explained that, since she was part of the royal family, her future husband would be the one to move out of his family's home.
"I don't know what I'd do if you weren't around" he said, clinging to her.
The sincere, pure devotion made his crime of stealing their parent's attention away from her almost forgivable - but it wasn't until she was 12 that she fully warmed up to him. By that point, Ozai had realized his son was no prodigy, unlike his daughter, and Azula became the favorite.
Because of it, she didn't hesitate to care for, and perhaps spoil, her younger brother. Mother had never, ever been more proud of her, and Azula didn't quite know how to feel about it.
Ursa wasn't exactly what anyone would call a strict parent, but she had never failed to show just how much more forgiving she was of her son's mistakes over the ones made by her daughter.
Despite her jealousy, Azula tried to convince herself that it was fair. Mother would love Zuko more, father would love her more. Zuko would be the kind, sweet prince everyone adored, while she would be the ruthless, cunning princess everyone would respect and fear.
So, a few years later, when grandpa had told dad to kill Zuko as punishment for trying to be named heir after Iroh's son had died, Azula told her mom. The following day, grandpa was dead, mother was nowhere to be found, father was soon to be crowned Fire Lord - and Zuzu was inconsolable.
He'd crawl to Azula's bed every single night, crying, and would then hug her tightly. She didn't have the heart to kick him out.
This went on for about a month, and when Ozai found out, he was furious.
"Your brother already spent his entire life hiding under his mother's skirts. Who knows what kind of damage it'd do for you to coddle him as well? I expected better from you, Azula"
"I'm terribly sorry, father" she had been kneeling before him, head low, never daring to meet his gaze "I meant no harm. I just thought he needed me"
"What he needs is to become a man already" Ozai retorted, as if he was talking about a grown adult who was avoiding responsibility, not a frightened, lonely eight-year-old "If you really want what's best for him, you'll do as I say"
And so she did.
No more letting him come to her whenever he needed comfort, no more bedtime stories, and no more helping him with his school work or with his firebending. No more 'mothering', as father had put it.
"Be strict, critical, and even cruel if you must, like I've always been to you. Someday, he'll thank you for it"
Just as you'll thank me, Azula knew was what he wanted to say, and she decided to trust him.
At first, it seemed that Ozai was right. Zuko wasn't a natural, but the harsher his teachers, their father, and Azula herself was on him, the more determined he seemed to be to prove himself, even staying up all night to either study or practice his bending more, and the results were improving slowly but surely.
But more than once had Azula seen him crying after being scolded - frustrated, angry, hurt. Eventually his progress stopped almost completely, and Zuko began to neglect even the basics of firebending, his temper getting in the way of pretty much everything he did.
Father wasn't just disappointed in him. He started to see the boy as nothing more than a lost cause.
"Your sister was born lucky" Ozai had said, loud and clear for all to hear, while looking Zuko straight in the face "You were lucky to be born"
After that day, she braced herself for an inevitable tragedy. Sooner or later, she knew, father's patience would finally end, and Zuko would face terrible, permanent consequences that no one could save him from.
She supposed that the scar and banishment were the more merciful option, and she had been almost relieved that this was Ozai's choice, even if she feared her brother wouldn't survive exile - enough to make her get him an actual crew to sail the world with.
The men, much like her brother, were disgraced but loyal soldiers that had lost any prestige they once had due to committing some minor infraction that had greatly offended Ozai. They were desperate to prove themselves and to earn back their place in the nation.
Obviously she hadn't expected that to mean that they'd actually help Zuko capture the Avatar - at that point everyone was still assuming the last airbender had either already died or never been born in the first place - but that still meant they'd take good care of her brother.
Zuko had barely even looked at her when she told him the good news, and had refused pretty much any comfort she, or anyone else, tried to give him. Maybe he was trying to become more like their father, or maybe he resented all the people that didn't try to rescue him during that disastrous Agni Kai.
He allowed her into his bed during his last night at the palace regardless, much to her relief. They held each other tight, but neither shed a tear and no words were exchanged. As he stepped into that ship, Azula tried to make peace with the fact that they'd never see each other again.
The revelation that the Avatar was actually alive and on the run had given her some hope, and when she found out that Zuko had been a stowaway on Zhao's ship to the North Pole and that uncle Iroh had helped solve the crisis when the moon was killed.
It hadn't been enough for father. Quite the contrary.
"Iroh is a traitor, and your brother Zuko is a failure. I have a task for you"
She didn't really want to be her brother's undoing, but she had no right to disobey the Fire Lord. And considering her brother had almost been murdered during exile, maybe imprisonment was the safest option. So she'd give him one final lesson. A cruel, but inevitable one, about being too trusting.
She headed out to sea to find him.
Even after all those years, her brother was very easy to spot. He had always been the loudest person in any room or crowd, and the years had not changed that about him. He was simply taller now, and thus more noticeable. The scar on his face and that horrid haircut didn't help either - she couldn't believe he had refused to grow it out again since it caught fire.
He was yelling at Iroh about not taking their mission seriously. How he expected uncle fatso to actually be of any help in capturing the Avatar, or in anything, was beyond her. The man wasn't unskilled, but he was obviously unwilling. Lu Ten's death had broken whatever drive he once had.
Unlike her brother, who was pacing back and forth, practically running in circles around the trees, just trying to find something to do, and unfortunately he did.
His flames were relatively powerful, but even from afar Azula could tell that Zuko's stances were all wrong and he could have easily been pushed to the ground by even a mediocre attack, to the point that even Iroh felt bothered and tried to give him tips, yelling something about a past fight with Zhao (making the princess rather curious), then showing how greater the flames were with the correct stance.
To Azula's shock, he demonstrated it by firebending right at Zuko's face - and not only was he unharmed, he didn't even react. Even grown men that had tons and tons of experience would have jumped back, out of pure instinct. The fact that her brother managed to keep his cool even after what had happened to him five years before was impressive.
Maybe he hadn't fully squandered all the potential he once had.
To know for sure, she followed him when he stormed off to a near-by lake. Careful not to make a sound or to become too visible, she got a bit closer, still hiding behind the trees, trying to get a better look at him while he tried some slow, warm up moves.
The scar seemed to have a rather visible hand-shape, meaning father's flame had been rather precise in it's target. It was hard to say from that distance, but his eye seemed fine. And his stern gaze and visible anger would have probably made a younger Ozai feel like he was looking in the mirror.
He had clearly grown a lot and gained a lot of muscle, yet his figure didn't seem excessively large and ripped like some of the warriors Azula had seen. She liked it, as it made her favorite dum-dum still look a bit softer and gentler than the rest.
Still, she had been a bit fascinating seeing the muscles on of his legs, arms, stomach and chest moving as he did, tensing up, then relaxing, each little move rather fluid, with her brother not seeming to struggle much, if at all. He was in good health.
Now she just needed to know if he could handle himself in a fight.
Seeing her brother punching and kicking an invisible foe made the princess have to hold back a bit of laugher, as she remembered all times Zuko 'fought', and lost, to himself as a child, playing with his knife. He had always had a flair for the dramatic - father swore he got it from mother as it was a 'woman thing', but Azula was not so sure, even if she never dared to say it aloud.
Zuko's stance was much better this time, and he'd quickly land back on his feet after each kick and spin. He also seemed to be aiming for his imaginary foe's shins instead of just the face or the stomach, and his movements were much faster.
Unfortunately he forgot to consider his breathing, and ended up panting for air rather fast, a problem he clearly hadn't had earlier, when he had been neglecting his stance instead.
Frustrated with himself, breathed fire, then blasted random flames at the air before settling on just punching a tree repeatedly. It was pathetic and made Azula wince as she watched him hurt his hands, yet continuing to let his rage out despite the self-inflicted pain.
Once that was out of his system, he got back to fighting ghosts, making stupid mistake after stupid mistake, before finally doing it perfectly, then repeating it to exhaustion, all covered in sweat, visibly tired and sore, yet still going strong.
Fierce, ruthless, relentless. All a firebender, and a prince, should be. Everything she had always known he had in him.
Azula had been so bewitched by what her brother was doing that she hadn't even realized how long she stood there on the same spot, watching him. She hadn't noticed the sun fully setting, or the clouds hiding the moon in the sky, or the warm air being replaced by a cold breeze.
She had only been snapped out of her trance by a blinding bolt of lightning and a loud thunder, but it was too late to get back to ship without being caught in the downpour.
Hungry, wet and pathetic, the princess locked herself up in her room and thought of her brother.
She wondered if he was still out there, training instead of taking shelter, even as the rain tried to kill his flames. Despite knowing there was no way he was skilled, or patient, enough to do it, her mind still made her picture him creating lightning that was bright, dangerous and deadly enough to rival the storm.
He wasn't perfect, far from it, but he wasn't useless.
It seemed that each time he'd remember an important detail, he'd grossly neglect another. He absolutely knew how to do everything, but was getting in his own way when it was time to put it all together, struggling to figure out when to switch from one technique to the other.
But if he figured out how to do it faster, without the need for all that endless trial and error, he could be great. Fantastic even. The raw power was there, it just needed a proper way to be channeled.
He needs more time, Ursa would have said. Time and guidance. Support and comfort. Praise for his success and understanding for his failure.
'Mothering.'
Unfortunately Azula was there to act on behalf of their father. And father didn't believe in second chances.
One was either good or bad. Potential wasn't enough. Almost wasn't enough.
So, the following night, when Iroh was rather busy at a spa (one in which the ladies had been bribed to be as nice and flirty as they could, and to give him lots of food and wine) Azula paid her brother a visit.
The crew on her ship was visibly confused, but she knew this would be far more effective than dragging Zuko into the ship kicking and screaming. All she needed was some alone time with him.
She put on a simple red blouse and black pants, and let her hair down. She wore some nice perfume - the one that used to be her brother's favorite - and put on lighter make-up, as he preferred her more 'natural' look.
Her brother's fondness for her had stopped being fully innocent a long time ago. He had always watched her practice her bending, but when he turned 11 he'd suddenly just get up and leave in quite a hurry, and eventually started spying on her during training instead of letting her know he was there.
She hadn't figured out why until she caught him trying to spy on her bathing.
"Father has killed men for far less, Zuko!" she reprimanded the little brat, holding onto the very ear she was talking off.
"Don't tell him! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Don't tell him, don't tell him, don't tell him!" he begged, frightened and with tears in his eyes.
Azula sighed, let go, and sat him down.
"I promise I won't tell, but you have to promise to never do anything like this again, especially not to me. I mean, what were you even thinking?"
He didn't even look her in the face while mumbling something about him being curious and her being pretty.
"Zuko, I'm your sister and I'm too old for you. In fact, any girl is too old for you at this point"
"I'm not that young!" he complained.
"Then you're old enough to know that spying on a woman is wrong"
His only response was to pout and sulk in silence with his arms crossed, like a petulant child giving their parents the silent treatment having his favorite toy taken away.
They never spoke of it again, even though Zuko wasn't exactly subtle about his interest. Once she had the sweet illusion that such impure thoughts would never cross her brother's mind, Azula realized he was terrible at hiding it.
He'd throw a tantrum whenever the subject of potential suitors for her were brought up, his eyes would practically leap out of his face whenever she wore something a bit more revealing, would praise her looks non-stop, and he continued spying on her training sessions - maybe it was an ego thing, but she didn't mind that half as much as when he tried to see her naked.
Paradoxically, Zuko being her little brother was the thing that prevented his rather obsessive crush from becoming creepy to Azula. She knew it was wrong, and she worried about his seeming lack of interest in other girls, but she knew that dum-dum. He was intense, clumsy, and inconvenient, but always well-meaning.
He was always a sheltered kid, and she was the only woman he was close to. Of course he confused things. It made sense. No reason to make a big deal out of it, especially not when father wouldn't take it well if he found out.
She never thought she'd use that dirty little secret to her advantage, and she couldn't really say what had changed to make her actually try to entice him for once. She supposed the thought was less disgusting to her now that Zuko was old enough.
His completely stunned face when he opened the door and saw her was all she needed to confirm that this had indeed been a good, highly amusing choice on her part.
"Hello, brother"
"Az-Azula" the shock made him sound like a 12-year-old's for a second, making her smile and causing him to blush in embarrassment "What are you doing here?"
"In my country, we exchange a pleasant ‘hello’ before asking questions" she scolded as she walked in, visibly annoyed and offended.
Though that had more to do with the fact that he was now at least a head taller than her he now than with any lack of a proper greeting. His hands also looked like they could crush hers, and she had to resist the urge to find an excuse to touch his arm to truly feel how strong he was.
He really was a man now. And considering the clothes he had on and the ponytail, he wouldn't look out of place on the ship at all. Banishment had seemingly taken nothing from him.
But she knew his anxious mind. He was likely afraid that his time at sea had made him less worthy of associating with the Fire Nation, so she continued to try and push his buttons.
"Your manners were never perfect, but you were polite enough at least. Have you become uncivilized so soon, Zuzu?"
"I remember the ways of our country quite well. And don't call me that!" It's a bit strange, hearing such a childish thing being said in that assertive tone and lower, deeper voice, but also somewhat endearing.
No matter how much he grew or how things changed, he'd always be her little Zuzu.
"Oh, but you used to like it" she teased.
"Yeah, when I was five! I've been asking you to stop for years!"
She hummed, pretending she was trying to recall those moments "It must have slipped my mind. I'm sorry, Zuko "
"What are you doing here?" he asked again.
"You're really going to insist on being rude? How disappointing. And here I thought you'd be happy to see me"
He blushed once more, he looked adorable whenever it happened, and averted his eyes "I am happy"
"Doesn't seem like it" she crossed her arms and raised an eye-brown "What's bothering you?"
"Did father send you to capture the Avatar?" he already sounded resentful.
"You're scared dad told me to do your job for you? Poor thing" usually she'd have ruffled his hair to further tease him, but since only his ponytail was left of it, she settled for pinching his cheek.
"Did he?" Zuko demanded to know, grabbing onto her hand, which looked like it belonged to a child when compared to his. The grip wasn't too forceful, but not too gentle either.
She placed her other hand atop of his bloody knuckles.
"You should be more careful, brother. Taking care of a bender without hands isn't exactly high on my list of priorities"
He pulled his hand back, mumbling something she couldn't quite catch.
"You're a big boy now, speak properly"
"I don't need a babysitter" he snapped "And would it kill you to answer my question already?"
"In a hurry to get to the point, huh? No, father did not send me to capture the Avatar, but that's not your mission anymore. You've had five whole years to find him, and all of winter to capture him. Clearly you're unsuited for this"
"I'm not!"
"Zuko, be reasonable, it's best to have multiple seasoned warriors after such a dangerous enemy. You're too inexperienced for this"
"Everyone is too inexperienced for this! He's an airbender! No one has fought one in a hundred years!"
"That's why father is planning to have a whole team go after him. Experienced benders, archers, swordmasters, and even assassins. Do you really think you can convince him, or me, that you can compete?"
He would have looked far less hurt if she had actually gutted him.
Now that he was down, it was time to strike.
She sighed in fake sympathy and placed her hands on those broad, ridiculously strong shoulders, giving them a few squeezes and discretely moving a bit lower on his arms.
"Look, I know this is disappointing, but it's for the best. Our nation is far bigger trouble than you could possibly imagine, and it's not just the Avatar that poses a threat. You'll understand once we get to the palace"
His eyes widened again "The palace?"
"You see? This is why you should learn to actually listen. I could have given you the good news before the bad if you weren't so impatient"
"Azula, I'm serious"
"So am I. Father's changed his mind. Family is suddenly very important to him" she looked around a bit, as if worried the wrong person could hear what she was about say "He's heard rumors of plans to overthrow him. Treacherous plots. Family are the only ones you can really trust" she couldn't bring herself to continue looking at his face while speaking "Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home"
Zuko just stood there in silence, much to her aggravation.
"Did you hear me? You should be happy. Excited. Grateful. I just gave you great news"
He remained quiet.
"I still haven't heard my thank you. I'm not a messenger. I didn't have to come all this way"
"Father regrets?" Zuko reacted at last "He... wants me back?" he asked, with those pleading, hopeful eyes that made the princess think of wounded, fragile animals being lured to a trap with a friendly hunter with delicious treats.
"I can see you need time to take this in" she walked past him, heading for the door "I'll come to call on you tomorrow. Good evening"
"Wait!" he begged.
Azula turned around, doing her best to hide a smirk "Yes, Zuko?"
To her shame, she squealed as he just grabbed and hugged her tight, picking her up with shocking ease, as she were nothing more than a rag doll, her feet not even touching the floor.
The embrace was just the right mix of bone-crushing and pure tenderness, and it got to her far more than she could ever describe, cheeks burning, eyes blinking in confusion, and stomach full of butterflies due to the simple joy of the moment. Letting herself go for a moment, she wrapped her arms around him as well, kissing his cheek, then smiling as he buried his face in the curve of her neck, breathing in the scent of her perfume.
When he finally let go, the two of them were laughing together, teasing each other with playful words and light shoves to the shoulder. And much to Azula's chagrin, her shoves barely even moved Zuko, while he looked like he was struggling not to accidentally slam her against a wall.
The two of them sat down on the couch and spent a few hours just talking while drinking a bit - or a lot. It made Zuko quite clingy, and Azula allowed him to cuddle up with her, his arm around her, her head on his chest.
She asked several questions about how he adjusted to his banishment, what it was like to fight the Avatar, and what exactly had led to Zhao trying to kill him.
That was when she found out her brother had actually managed to win an Agni Kai, against an admiral no less.
"Who knew you'd become so strong someday" she praised, kissing his cheek then cleaning the lipstick mark.
Zuko held her hand in place and leaned into her touch before kissing her palm.
Azula blushed, pulling her hand back and sliding a bit to the side on the couch, trying to create some distance between the two of them, but Zuko just put his arm around her again, holding her close while offering her a bit more wine.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" she accused.
"Is it really trying if it already happened?" he joked.
She tried to give him a playful slap, but he caught her hand before it could reach his face.
"I'm a bit too old for that kind of discipline, don't you think?"
"No. Though you're old enough to have a girlfriend at last. I'll make sure to find you someone nice once we get home"
"I don't want a girlfriend"
The way you're staring at my chest says otherwise, she thought.
"Well, you'll need a wife eventually. A Fire Lord needs heirs"
He shifted uncomfortably, looking all grumpy again.
"Has father already picked a husband for you?" he asked, looking like he was already planning the hypothetical suitor's murder.
He had room in his heart for the man that burned his face, but not for the one that would marry his sister.
"Father said he won't consider any engagement for me until the war is over"
Zuko sighed in relief and Azula chuckled.
"You really should get a girlfriend"
The two continued talking, drinking, cuddling, and eventually the princess found herself drifting off a bit, but had been fully sure she wouldn't actually fall asleep even for a minute, let alone the whole night.
When she woke up, the sun was already out - and she was in her brother's bed. He was hugging her from behind, shirtless, his throbbing erection pressed against her butt, and one of his hands under her mostly undone blouse, cupping one of her breasts, that were almost fully exposed.
Mortified, she jumped out of bed, almost falling to the ground immediately due to the lingering effects of yesterdays wine. Zuko seemed surprised, but not sleepy at all, having obviously been awake for quite some time.
"What happened?"
"Why didn't you wake me up?" she demanded to know, fixing up the blouse her pervert of her brother had done the kindness of unbuttoning almost completely.
"You were tired. I didn't see the harm in letting you sleep"
"And you didn't see the harm in this?" she asked, gesturing at her blouse "Or in taking me to your bed?"
"Forgive me for trying to get you to be comfortable" he had the nerve to act offended, but couldn't look into her eyes.
"I know exactly what you were trying to do, Zuko. I thought you were over this"
"Hey, I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Oh, I'm sure you were the perfect gentleman" she rolled her eyes "After all, we're both still mostly dressed. Where are my shoes and my belt?"
"In the living room, where you left them, when you took them off" he pointed out, and as soon as he said it, the memory forced it's way through the fog, crystal clear.
She had taken them off right before sitting on his lap, letting him play with her hair, and whispering some nonsense in his ear about how she had always found it sweet whenever he demanded to be on her lap, and that it was nice to do the reverse for once.
Crap. Maybe he had been somewhat of a gentleman, groping aside.
"I shouldn't have behaved the way I did" she said, a bit embarrassed, finishing fixing up her clothes.
"It's not like I minded..."
"Well, you should have. And never speak of this to anyone or I swear I'll kill you" she turned around to leave, but Zuko ran towards the door stopping her - and forcing her to stare at the ceiling to avoid the awkwardness of accidentally looking at his exposed torso or at the morning wood deforming his pants.
"When are you coming back?" he asked, desperate.
"Right after lunch. Pack your things and tell uncle to do the same. We're sailing away before sunset"
"I'll be ready" he said, crushing her in a loving embrace yet again, making her feel like she would die on the spot "Thank you, Azula"
"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome" she freed herself from his grasp and finally breathed again, running to the living room, putting on her shoes and belt once more, then exiting the house in a hurry to get back to the ship so she could pretend that strange night never happened.
She hadn't come so far just to ruin the mission by getting too sentimental or drunk to lure her brother to prison. She needed to sober up, calm down, and focus.
The princess swore to herself to never, ever, EVER get carried away with her brother again.
Easier said than done.