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"Stay the night."
Luthen frowned, surprised. Saw looked at him with a would-be casual expression, but Luthen knew him well enough to read the intent in his eyes.
Staying the entire night hadn’t happened in a long time. It was usually a quick affair between them - a handjob or blowjob more often than not, sometimes he found himself half-dressed with his pants pooling around his ankles, his body against a wall, Saw's full weight pinning him against it as he fucked him from behind. He never lingered afterwards though, unless Saw asked him – demanded, more like.
Here they were now late in the afternoon, having just finished negotiating the stay of young Wilmon among the Partisans – Saw had immediately told him the boy would stay with him until he got what he wanted and Luthen had let it pass, only making a sly remark about how come Saw wasn’t afraid he would use Wilmon to spy on him. When Saw had smiled, all teeth and too sharply, clenching and unclenching his fists but somehow managing not to take the bait, Luthen had only requested that the young engineer shouldn't be harmed.
He wasn’t planning on telling Wilmon any of that, of course, otherwise the young man would never agree to go. It was safer to let him think the trip would be a quick one and to let Saw deal with him directly.
He had then prepared himself to leave, his mind already on other missions, especially the situation escalating in Ghorman and what must be done there. Already the weight of the massacre that could happen on that planet settled heavily on his mind. Some of his thoughts must have appeared on his face or it was becoming easier and easier for Saw to read them because, in retrospect, Saw’s command shouldn’t have surprised him.
It always happened when Luthen was particularly stressed about a mission. It was as if Saw knew instinctively when he was that close to falling apart as if he could read him and knew exactly his state of mind. And perhaps he could. Saw knew as well as Luthen did the price to pay for the Cause, for the Greater Good. He had already paid it multiple times, as Luthen himself had. They knew what needed to be done, though the guilt that they had both carried for years and would still carry for the rest of their life didn’t lessen because of it. It was the price to pay when one was a leader.
So when Saw told him to stay, he did so without arguing.
**
He quickly went back to his ship to warn Kleya, letting her know not to expect him before tomorrow, pretending the negotiations were harder than anticipated. The brief silence that followed told him that she didn’t believe him. Not entirely. He thought she suspected something but that was one thing she would never ask about. She didn’t need to know or even want to.
He went back to the camp then, settling himself beside Saw.
Dinner was a quick affair. None of Saw’s men would dare ask why he was here. Apart from Tubes, none of them even knew who he was. Even Tubes didn't know much more than his name despite being one of the very few Saw actually trusted.
Luthen enjoyed his drink, sitting next to Saw and basking in the silence, watching the sky slowly turn from purple to dark blue as the sun set on the horizon. When he felt a warm hand settle heavily on his thigh - too high up with so many eyes around them, but it didn't matter thanks to the darkness now surrounding them - he looked up, meeting Saw's eyes, reading the unmistakable hunger in them, and nodded.
They walked for a few minutes until they reached an old building. They passed Tubes on their way in, and Saw nodded at him. Luthen assumed the Tognath would make sure his leader wouldn't be bothered by anyone unless if it was absolutely necessary.
Once inside, they made their way to a small room. Luthen walked in first, looking around. It had probably been an old storage room a long time ago. It was damp and cold with only a small window letting in the moonlight, the only source of light illuminating the room. It was almost empty except for what could be called a bed by someone who had no idea what a bedroom with a modicum of comfort looked like. Luthen didn't even need to touch the linen covering it to know how cheap the material was. It was such a stark contrast to his own room on Coruscant, filled with all kinds of trinkets and a mattress so comfortable it shouldn't have been any problem for him to have the most blissful of sleep if it weren't for his insomnia and nightmares.
Luthen was thankfully distracted from his thoughts by the bang that resonated in the small room when Saw closed the door.
He turned around to face the man slowly approaching him and shivered at the intensity of his gaze. It really had been a long time. Too long.
He felt like a prey cornered by the most ferocious of hunters, although, unlike most prey, he had no desire to flee. On the contrary, he waited for Saw to make the first move, his heart speeding up as he wanted nothing more but to be properly caught and devoured by the man in front of him.
"Undress," Saw finally demanded, breaking the silence.
"Bossy, aren't you?"
"Ha! Don't pretend you don't like it."
Luthen smirked at that, not answering but doing as he was told. He let his coat drop to the floor before his hands reached for his belt. He took his time, his eyes never leaving Saw's. He was too old to be self-conscious, and even if he were, the hunger in the other man's eyes was enough to make him feel decades younger, heat spreading in his body and the goosebumps on his arms weren't completely due to the cool night's air alone. He was already half-hard before he was finished undressing.
Saw watched him then, his eyes travelling all over Luthen's body before he walked towards him and kissed him.
There was nothing gentle about the way Saw pressed their bodies together, a hand clenching at his back while the other roughly groped his arse, his armour digging painfully into Luthen's naked body.
There was nothing gentle about the way he kissed him, hard and hungry, devouring his mouth as if he were starving, making Luthen groan and gasp as he surrendered completely to the other man's ministrations.
There was nothing gentle, and Luthen wouldn't have it any other way.
By the time Saw took a step back from him, he was completely hard.
"Come on, go lie down now."
Luthen bit back a smart remark at how rough and breathless Saw's voice was. He knew his own would sound quite similar and so he obeyed, making his way towards the makeshift bed, and tried to find a comfortable position. He kept his eyes on Saw, stroking himself lazily as he watched the man struggle to undress, wanting to go too fast and swearing when he couldn't.
When Saw finally succeeded and went to join him, spreading Luthen's legs as he went and lying down on top of him, Luthen licked his lips as he felt the man was just as hard as he was.
Saw chuckled, tracing Luthen's bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.
"I could put that mouth to good use," he started but then interrupted himself with a low growl when Luthen took his thumb into his mouth, sucking on it, his eyes never leaving Saw’s.
"Shit," he swore, slowly moving his thumb in and out of Luthen's mouth. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Me fucking your mouth?"
Luthen flushed at the words but didn't answer. Instead, he closed his eyes and took Saw's thumb deeper, letting his tongue play with the tip as Saw's movements became rougher.
"Of course you would. You're always so eager to please, Luthen. Always looking so pretty on your knees for me."
Luthen let out a moan at that, sucking harder as he remembered the weight of Saw's cock in his mouth. The taste of it. How time itself seemed to stop as he choked on it, Saw's hands in his hair keeping him still. This was exactly what he needed, why he went to Saw more often than was strictly necessary. To surrender was a luxury he couldn't afford, shouldn't afford, and yet he knew he only had to meet up with the other man to indulge as much as he wanted.
He let out a sound akin to a whine when Saw removed his thumb, his hand cupping Luthen's cheek instead.
"No. Tempting as it is, I have other plans for you tonight."
Luthen nodded and swallowed heavily before gesturing to his coat lying on the floor in the middle of the room.
"Left side pocket."
Saw laughed, incredulous, but made no comment until he got up and took out a small bottle of oil from Luthen's coat.
"It seems I wasn't the only one having plans."
"I've quickly learnt to always be prepared with you."
Saw laughed again as he took his place back in between Luthen's legs.
"We'll see how well prepared you are then."
He kissed him, a quick and intense kiss that left Luthen gasping for more before making his way down, licking and nibbling at Luthen's jaw, neck, and collarbone. He continued his journey, taking his time in places he knew Luthen was more sensitive, smiling proudly every time he managed to make the man moan for him, before continuing his way downwards.
Once he reached Luthen's lower belly, he looked up, admiring how flushed he was. His usual scowl completely gone now, instead Saw thought he could see the man behind the mask, the man he knew was there ever since he'd learnt about Luthen's past. A man vulnerable and lost but who carried on nonetheless, never wavering now that he had made a choice, no matter the cost to himself or others. In that at least, they were alike.
He could see that vulnerability now on Luthen's face, the soft look in his eyes, how the other man waited, breathless, for him to make a move, letting Saw do whatever he wanted and trusted him not to hurt him.
Unwilling to wait any longer, he let two fingers, now thoroughly oiled, slowly trace Luthen's entrance while he took the head of his cock in his mouth.
Soft gasps escaped Luthen, one hand grasping Saw's hair while the other gripped his shoulder tightly. Saw sucked him the same way he kissed him: hungrily and with an intensity that made Luthen completely lose himself.
His grip on the man's shoulder tightened even more when he felt a finger slowly entering him. Saw had always been thorough in his preparation, though Luthen couldn’t help but wonder how much of it was for his own comfort and how much was simply Saw enjoying teasing him.
It felt more like latter tonight as Saw took his time, oh so slowly moving his finger in and out before adding a second, drawing out the moment. Luthen lost track of time and couldn't tell how long Saw'd been fingering him, the only thing he was aware of among the pleasure clouding his mind was that Saw sucked him less intensely now. Instead, he let go of his cock and sloppily mouthed at his length, keeping him on the edge but not giving him enough to find his release.
"Come on Saw, I can take it," Luthen said, and he would be embarrassed by the roughness of his voice if he wasn't so very eager for it.
It was all it took for Saw to stop his ministrations and position himself between his legs. The smug look on his face told Luthen that the man had only been waiting for him to ask - almost beg - for it.
Thankfully Saw didn't make any comment, instead, he guided himself inside Luthen, brows furrowed in concentration. Luthen could tell how the man had to retrain himself not to simply take what he wanted. His hands tightened around Luthen's waist almost painfully, the muscles in his arms trembling as he went as gently as he could, giving him the time to adjust.
They both sighed when Saw was finally buried to the hilt, his thumbs slowly caressing the soft skin of Luthen's hips.
He let his fingers trace a scar on Saw's chest. Even to someone who didn't know him, it would be obvious that Saw had a survivor's body. Luthen did know him though, he knew how each scar was proof that Saw had survived every fight he'd been in so far. He knew how Saw had started fighting from a young age, how he’d fought the Separatists on his home planet, and how he continued the fight against the Empire once he had proved himself to be a threat to the new regime. He knew about the lifetime of hardships that made Saw who he was now, and he knew the man would stop at nothing in the name of Freedom. He had fought his entire life for the Cause, and he would die for it without hesitation.
Luthen's body bore scars as well, but it wasn't the same. He couldn't compare to Saw at all. Saw wasn't a coward, for starters. He hadn't spent his entire life blindly following orders like Luthen had. He could never escape his memories, couldn't escape the atrocities he committed in the name of the Empire. The atrocities he committed now in the name of the Cause. His scars were a reminder of all these, and he knew his very soul was rotten to the core, but he didn't fight for his own salvation. On the contrary, he knew that he --
A sharp thrust made his mind go blissfully blank, his back arching as he chased the sensation.
"Hey, Luthen! Where were you just now? Come on, look at me!"
He forced himself to look up at Saw, his heart pounding in his ears as the man continued with deep, slow thrusts, fucking him just hard enough so that his body would have slid up if Saw’s hands hadn’t been on his waist, holding him firmly in place.
"You're with me, Luthen, with me! Here, right now, right here! There's nothing else but this, but me fucking you. You get it?"
Breathless, Luthen tried to nod, his previous thoughts completely gone and he couldn't focus on anything but the white-hot pleasure coursing through his body as Saw moved inside him in exactly the right way.
His arms went around Saw’s back, urging him to come closer, desperate now to feel the man’s full weight on him. Saw complied, lying down on him and burying his face in Luthen's neck, nibbling and kissing him there. He was leaving marks, Luthen was sure of it but he couldn't care less right now. All that mattered was Saw's weight on him, his warmth so intense it almost burned him. His cock moved inside him, hitting the perfect spot and with enough force that it felt like he couldn't take a proper breath and he was left gasping, his hands desperately clawing at Saw's back.
He was close. So, so close. He only needed a little more and it would all be over. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, every nerve in his body seemed to be on fire as the pleasure kept building up inside him.
He sneaked in a hand to touch himself in time with Saw's thrusts. He was barely aware of the way he kept moaning out Saw's name and he couldn't focus on anything but the searing pleasure of having this man inside him. Saw fucked him like he did everything else: intensely and hungrily as if he couldn't get enough of Luthen's body.
"Luthen," Saw growled, close to his ear. The way he said it, his voice low and rough and hungry was the last straw for Luthen. He came all over his hand and their bellies, his back arching, and he dimly felt Saw following only a few thrusts after, buried to the hilt inside him.
They stayed like that for a little while, their heavy breathing the only sound in the room. Finally, Saw lifted his head enough to kiss him. The tenderness of that kiss caught Luthen by surprise - he had almost forgotten how soft Saw could be in the aftermath - and he shivered as the other man's hands slowly caressed his sides, raising goosebumps in their wake.
When he pulled away, Saw continued pressing kisses to his lips, his cheeks and down along his neck as he slowly withdrew. With a groan, he then settled himself with his side pressed against Luthen's body, throwing an arm around his chest and resting his face on Luthen's shoulder.
Luthen had half a mind to protest, and wanted to tell Saw that they didn't have time for what could be considered cuddling of all things, but the soft snores told him the man was already fast asleep. He sighed, considering his options but his mind was too drowsy to think properly. There was no harm in indulging himself a little longer he thought, surrounded as he was by Saw's warmth.
He could just rest for a few minutes at least.
With that last thought, he finally closed his eyes.
**
He woke up before sunrise. It took him a moment to remember where he was, and he was startled when he realized there was an arm around him and a warm body pressed behind his back. As the other person groaned at the sudden movement, Luthen relaxed again with a sigh. He must have fallen asleep soon after. He took a few minutes to enjoy this moment. The room was still bathed the moonlight, the cold air didn't bother him, embraced as he was by Saw and the silence around him was so comforting that Luthen was tempted to close his eyes again and let Saw's breathing lull him back to sleep.
When was the last time he let himself be so vulnerable? He couldn't remember, but he knew for sure that Saw was the only one allowed to see him in that state He also knew he was the only one who could see Saw in that state as well -- vulnerable and defenceless.
He only had to close his eyes and he would be able to bask in the stillness of the moment, to push the war to the back of his mind for a few minutes longer. But no. He had already indulged for too long. With another sigh, he gently lifted Saw's arm enough so that he could disentangle himself from the other man's embrace.
He stood, wincing a slightly at the dull ache between his legs - an ache that would ground him in the days to come, a reminder of moments of pleasure that were few and far between. He turned, gazing at Saw's sleeping form for a moment, trying to commit it to memory. How the moonlight danced on his body, how the shadows accentuated his scars, the way his chest heaved as he breathed, still peacefully asleep.
Luthen blinked, shaking his head. He truly was indulging himself too much.
Silently, he gathered his clothes and put them back on. He made sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, then started toward the exit without looking back.
"Leaving like a thief in the night, are we?"
He stopped in his tracks, heaving an annoyed sigh. Saw was awake then, and Luthen suspected he'd been awake longer than he had realized.
He turned towards the other man.
"Well, I didn't want to disturb your beauty sleep."
Saw laughed, a sharp "Ha!", and smiled wildly. As quickly as it appeared, the smile was gone, his expression suddenly turning serious.
"You know, Luthen," Saw started, his voice carefully neutral, "I wanted to have you since the first time I’ve seen you."
"If my memories don't fail me, that's exactly what you did."
Saw laughed again, this time the amusement lingered on his face.
"That's right."
An easy silence stretched between them before Saw turned serious once more, a fire in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
"I'd like to continue doing that in the foreseeable future."
Luthen stared at him, shocked by the words. He knew that Saw understood as well as he did how dangerous their lifes were, how neither of them would live to see the Empire fall, how sooner or later they would both be hanged.
"I'm not sure what you mean by that, Saw."
"Do you really need me to spell it out?"
"It seems so, yeah."
Saw stood up, not bothering to cover himself and walked towards him until only a few inches separated them.
"Don't be reckless."
An incredulous laugh escaped Luthen.
"You're the one telling me this. You?" He laughed again. "That's rich coming from you, don't you think?"
Saw said nothing for a long moment. He only stared at him with that same fire in his eyes. Despite being an inch taller, Luthen felt as though Saw was looking down at him, his gaze burning him with its intensity. Still, he forced himself not to look away.
"You're panicking, Luthen. I saw it yesterday. I saw it last night for a moment. I see it now still."
Luthen's eyes widened at those words, and he couldn't withstand Saw's gaze any longer. He looked away, staring at the wall on the left side of the other man's head instead.
Before he could even think of a reply, Saw continued :
"You're planning something big, aren't you? Bigger than Althani? I'm right, aren't I?"
Luthen stayed silent. He couldn't share his plans with Saw. They both knew it. Even though the other man liked to pretend otherwise.
"You're not even going to deny Althani for once? Ha! Well, after all this time, it's nice to have a confirmation. Come on, look at me Luthen!"
Luthen obeyed instantly, glaring at the man with suppressed anger.
"Now, that's more like it. That's a nice look on you."
"What do you want from me, Saw? Spill it out, I don't have time for your games."
"Who's playing? I've already told you, haven't I? You're planning something big, something that could put you in the spotlight, aren’t you ?" He cupped Luthen's face with both hands. "And you're not used to it. You don't know what it's like, fighting the Empire in broad daylight. So don't be reckless."
Luthen stared at him, for once truly at a loss for words.
Saw's words from years ago came back to him - "Aren't you tired of playing behind the scenes, Luthen?"
He was tempted to throw those words back at Saw, but he didn't have the time nor the energy for an argument right now, so he did the only thing he could think of: he kissed him. His hands went around Saw's waist as he pressed his lips against his. There was no finesse in it. It was rough and intense like all things between them. He pushed his tongue past the other man's lips with a groan, pouring all of his suppressed fear into that kiss.
He didn't know how long it lasted, how long he lost himself in that moment. He only knew that, through it, he told Saw everything he couldn't say with words, letting the other man know he was right about him. How he was terrified of what could happen, would happen and how there was no one but Saw who could know about his uncertainties. It wasn't a farewell kiss. He didn't want it to be, but they both needed to acknowledge it could be. As were all the goodbyes between them.
He broke the kiss abruptly when he felt himself becoming overwhelmed, taking a few steps back. Saw let him, only licking his lips, understanding shining in his eyes.
"Take care, Saw," was all he could say, sharing one last lingering look with the man before turning away and finally leaving, just as the sun started to rise, casting a pale red light softly lightening the sky.