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She sat still at the very edge, basking in the warmth beauty the sunset was giving her. The wind whispered incompreherensible things as she felt the grass under her stand up from the airs strength.
How long had it been? A month? No. Its been 5 months.
5 months since she last held that door,
5 months since she called out for her.
5 months since she saw her face who lost life itself.
5 months since Nicole died.
..its been that long, and Jecka herself was surprised of how fast time had flew. She hated it, these past few months alone were insufferable- the moment her death was announced tons and tons of people had walked up to her, asking if she was okay. It was sick- let a bitch grieve first before drowning her in your pity questions.
Alas, some of the people that asked genuinely seemed like they care. Well, Karen somehow seemed genuine. She didnt say any words- just gave her Nicoles hairtie and told her that ‘You were always the one she was with.’. She had a habit of leaving hair ties everywhere, and Karen somehow found one of her missing ones on her desk- which was now known as empty.
The same hairtie shes basically using to keep her bun up. Fucking damnit.
She didnt want to look at her left, she really didnt. If she did- reality would come crashing down, she wouldnt be meeting eyes of an ocean she once longed for- but a rather dull, foggy and destructive tsunami that could drown her in a matter of milliseconds if she didnt avoid it enough. She knew that the ocean that was once alive, that was once in flesh and organs was a full on hazard, but she didnt care. She knew her away around the waves that killed people, she knew how to swim the issues of splashes that pushed people away,
In that ocean she knew was alive she wanted to swim in. But now that shes gone? Shes met with a tsunami that was unpredictable. Her eyes in disarray- and if Jecka were to try and find her way around that tsunami who knows what would be on that other side? She knew she will never know. Those waves were turmoil, as if it expressed the snapping point of Nicole’s emotions.
She did snap.
It just wasnt directed to Jecka.
And that had a meaning.
She felt her eyes burn up, the sunset was about to go down fully- the sky now mixed in warm and cool colors. It was nice to see, atleast, for the last time.
Jecka shakingly took a sharp breath, finally looking to her left. There was Nicoles grave- it wasnt even decorated with flowers. Just customized with her full legal name carved and under it was the year that she was born, and the year that she died. Seeing the stone made Jecka feel sick, she knew what she was getting into when she had become close with Nicole. C’mon, best friends with a sociopath? Really?
She brang her hand up, caressing the texture of the stone- she really sounded crazy but she really missed her annoying ass monotone voice.
Alot.
In the place she was buried in, nobody knows the place except for Jecka and Nicoles shitty ass mom who had just moved out of town to possibly look for more dick, or. To cover up the past that Nicole had scarred.
Jecka would bring that scar until the end of her days, if it meant that will be the last of Nicole.
..
..
She stood up, the air being much more cold before. She winced, but fought through it.
“Its a long way down.”
“If i get hit in the head firsthand, i’ll die quickly right?” She muttered under her breath, her eyes now shaking in anticipation as her feet were halfway off the edge. She could jump off now, she wouldnt have to suffer with the same people annoying her anymore- she wouldnt have to suffer men hitting on her anymore, she wont be able to feel empty as she felt before Nicole had transferred. She really wouldnt, she wont be able to feel the guilt that the rope had yearned for Nicoles neck right at the very start, and Jecka chose to ignore it.
She was about to take a step, when-
“Woah, and i thought i was the crazy bitch here.” Jecka paused.
“..Real funny Nicole.”
“Why do you feel the need to jump just because im dead? Were no better than Romeo and Juliet you know.”
“Why do you feel the need to prevent me from dying?”
“Jecka, falling off the cliff isnt the hottest way to die i hope you know that.”
“So i can go home, get screamed at and then get threatened? You want me to OD at my dads house where he can either stuff me in a blanket and hide my body to hide his reputation, or invite men to do shit to me?” She half-screamed, she kept her eyes on the sunset. Almost all the way down, maybe the moment it hits the ground thats when she will take the ledge. “Jecka, im saying that dying for a sociopathic bitch isnt exactly worth it.”
“..Is that really you..?”
“What?” Nicoles voice sounded much more confused.
“Is that actually you, behind me?”
“..Would you take 5 steps away from the edge if i said it was actually me?”
“You wouldnt do shit like this.”
“I would, i still need my source of entertainment you know. Oh, and those free rides at the mall.”
“You literally cant, your dead, Nicole. You hung yourself, you cant ride in my car, you cant do shit. I cant even see you.”
Silence hung the tip of Jeckas tongue, she really wanted to jump right now.
“..Look behind you.” Nicole murmured, her tone unfamiliar, it sounded soft- an attempt to make it gentle. Jecka remained unmoved. “What if i dont?” Jecka quipped, eyes falling down again. It really looked like a long way down, she’d be surprised if she failed to die. “Just do. I’ll give you a cig and an A as an effort to care about me.”
It was tempting.
It really was.
Maybe Nicole wouldnt want her dead- maybe she wouldnt but not because of pity. She’d only need her alive for the sole purpose of having company that doesnt annoy her, company that was on par with her humor and mindset- company that was exactly as Nicole was satisfied having.
Jecka took a few steps back, breathing now calmed down. “You actually listened.” she heard Nicoles shock in that statement, it was nostalgic to hear how sarcastic she sounded.
“And you actually cared.”
Silence. If anyone were to walk in right now, Jecka would have a diagnosis for schizoprenia already. “..i wish i was a lesbian.” Nicole said, before the wind suddenly buffed in strength as Jecka's hair was practically flying out to the left. Jecka sighed, before finally turning her head.
Only to be met with the wind, caressing her skin instead of piercing it brutally like how it used to. Nicole was good at manipulating. Guess Jecka was her final victim. But a realization had hit her in particular-
Jecka had finally found her way to swim in the deranged tsunami that she thought would drown her in bits.
She looked down, smiling at the ground.
It was one piece of cigarette, one being her favourite brand.