Chapter Text
From: [email protected]
Subject: So I got here
Hey, Carrots, check out the e-mail address they gave me. Still think this was a good idea?
-fox, apparently
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: So I got here
Dear Nick,
I thought they’d treat you better. :( Let me make some calls.
Love,
Judy
P.S. I’m really proud of you!
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: So I got here
Oh, Carrots, I thought I’d rubbed off on you at least a little. Your letters read like they’re out of the public school style textbook. Love? I think you’re jumping a little ahead. You should know I’m not ready to meet your parents, and they sure as heck aren’t ready to meet me unless I throw on an apron and a drawl and roll around in flour.
Don’t make any calls for me. I’ll handle this myself.
But thanks.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Too late
Dear Nick,
I figured by ‘handle it’ you meant you’d leave the address that way and stare at it resenting everyone for reducing you to your species so I went ahead and called Sergeant Bearester and she changed it. Now you can focus on becoming a better officer and not on resenting everyone.
Speaking of Bearester, Chief Bogo assigned me a temporary partner. Don’t be jealous. He’s a brown bear named Paddington and he’s really sweet. Just a really nice guy. Some of the guys really love him.
Yeah, that’s right. Friends can love other friends and it’s not weird.
Love,
Judy
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Too late
Okay, Carrots, you got me. I guess I should start thinking like you, about what’s best and not what’s most fun. Or, what did you say, “be smarter, not a martyr”? And I have to admit, it’s a lot nicer looking at my name when I log in. Thanks.
I was also worried that Bearester would take it out on me, you know, “so, Wilde, you gotta have your friends take care of you? What if your friends are DEAD? WHO’S GOING TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU THEN? YOU GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR YOU.” But she’s been—I hate to say it—pretty cool about it. As in, didn’t mention it. As in, remembered that I beat everyone else in the hundred yard run in the morning. Of course, that afternoon when we were lifting weights they had to go out to the Midsize Fitness to get something I could even lift (and meanwhile they used *me* as the weight for Wolferson, which wasn’t humiliating at all but DON’T call anyone about it, I’ll handle it and I mean it this time). What did they do for you?
Paddington sounds like a great guy. Dumb as a brick, but I bet he holds doors for you and gets you coffee. So you’ve got that going for you. Next time I’ll tell you about all the top scholars I’m rooming with.
Nick
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Too late
Dear Nick,
OM goodness I busted out laughing at my desk when I read your Bearester impression. I can hear you doing it and it’s perfect. And yeah, she’s all about performance. If you can do the work, she’s on your side. For my weights, she had me lifting two of her rings. Class rings. About ten pounds each. Using you as a weight is definitely not okay but…I’ll let you take care of it. Just don’t—no, I’ll let you take care of it.
Paddington is not dumb as a brick. He’s sweet, but that doesn’t mean he’s not…I mean, he is smart in his own way. We got an assignment to track down missing bolts of expensive fabric from a warehouse in Savanna Square. Paddington was the one who thought we should sniff around the warehouse at night to see if we catch any scents or maybe see the thief.
So I’m at my desk in full gear even though everyone else is home. Paddington is…resting up for the night.
Tell me about your class. I never really got to know most of mine. First they didn’t take me seriously, then they didn’t like that I was beating them. I guess Hornton was okay but she got assigned to a desk in the Savanna district. She did call to congratulate me after our case, though.
I think I hear Paddington moving. Got to go.
Love, Judy
From: [email protected]
Subject: Ow
This might be a long letter, Carrots. I’m not ashamed to say that Bearester lets me use the computer longer if I tell her I’m writing to you, and after today I just want to sit down forever. Remember I told you about winning the hundred? Turns out that when you haven’t run that long that fast for a while and then you do it three times in a day plus the first day of brutal calisthenics, your legs are sorer than an elephant in an elevator with a family of porcupines. The good news is most of the others are just as bad off. So while I’m here and resting, and writing to my good friend Officer Judy Hopps, he said aloud, let’s go through the class.
I’ll start by telling you the one thing they have in common and no, it’s not a deep and abiding thirst to see justice brought to the scoundrels of Zootopia. It’s that they are all right around your age, which means that I have a decade of life experience on them but also a decade more wear on the paws. That said, I spent most of my life on my feet, which isn’t true of any of the others except maybe Wolferson and Fangovin, so let’s start with them.
Wolferson: She’s a wolf so scrawny she might be a stretched-out ugly fox. Scratches herself all the time even though we all have to shower daily. Seems unable to stand still. Why she wants to be a cop: “My mommy was a cop.”
Fangovic: Big tiger, like someone painted stripes on an orange elephant almost. Seriously, he’s a brick. North of Zootopia, the small town of Claw’s Hollow is missing its champion school bully. He swaggered into the academy telling everyone he was going to be the top graduate and stared down Tusker and Ironhide. Didn’t even take notice of me. Why he wants to be a cop: “To beat up bad guys.” If you ask me, he wouldn’t be too particular about them being bad, either.
Tusker: Biggest in our class, she’s also the quietest. Don’t know much about her but she runs pretty well for an elephant. Why she wants to be a cop: that deep and abiding thirst etcetera.
Ironhide: There are three, count ‘em, three rhinos. Ironhide is the biggest. He can’t run for crap but he can lift a ton. Of course, they didn’t make him lift Tusker. They made him lift a car. And he did it. He and Fang might kill each other before we graduate. Why he wants to be a cop: “To uphold the law.” Yawn.
Stone: She’s got a complex about the other rhinos, I think. Keeps tagging along behind ‘em trying to keep up. Smarter than either of them, though. At least, she’s the only one who didn’t need help spelling her name. Why she wants to be a cop: “To make a difference.” B-plus answer.
Hornton: Might be a cousin of your Hornton. You could ask. Anyway, he and Ironhide know each other. Maybe from the same village or the same family; I don’t know how rhinos work. Anyway, he’s actually the only one who’s been nice to me at all. Took me aside and said he saw us on TV and admired what we did. I told him it was a team effort and he asked if I could get your autograph. I tell you, Carrots… Oh. Why he wants to be a cop: “To catch crooks.”
Shaggy: Can’t remember his name. Big Cape Buffalo, not as big as Bogo but definitely idolizes him. Why he wants to be a cop: “To dispense justice like Chief Bogo.”
So anyway I’m in your old bunk. They didn’t tell me but it still smelled like rabbit even though they washed the sheets. Also like three different wolves. It’s okay, don’t worry about me getting to sleep; a couple good rolls and now it smells like fox. Not that they have a wolf or fox working here who can detect smells; that’s obvious when you walk into the cafeteria. But yeah, the small bed all the way at the end with enough room to sleep on widthwise if you wanted, top bunk over Wolferson because I dunno, predators together? They put Fang across from us and didn’t give him a bunkmate.
How long before you stopped being sore in the morning?
Nick
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Ow
Dear Nick,
What are you talking about? I’m in great shape. I was never sore.
What did you say when they asked why you want to be a cop?
Love,
Judy
Sent from my phone
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Ow
Even on your phone you type out the Dear and Love. Impressive. If you were never sore then you’re in better shape than everyone except Ironside and Fang, though they might just be hiding it.
If you’re reading this while staking out the fabric store heist, don’t go to the Round The Clock diner. They’ve got a filthy kitchen and their pies are substandard, especially for a Bunnyburrow native. Make dear sweet Paddington walk down Greenfield to Lacy’s Pie Shack, also open 24/7, and if Lacy the gazelle is there, tell her Nick sent you. She’ll put extra ice cream on your apple pie.
Nick
Sent from my phone
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Ow
How do you know where we are?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Ow
A-ha! I got you to drop the formalities.
The same way I know that Paddington is probably picking his nose as you’re reading this: it’s simply more likely than any of the other possibilities.
Nick
Sent from my phone
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Ow
Nick, if you know something about this crime, you should tell me.
And Paddington is not picking his nose. Anymore.
Judy
Sent from my phone
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Ow
Carrots, are you saying you need me?
Sent from my phone
Chat initiated 0122 am
J: Seriously, Nick. What’s going on?
N: I’m supposed to be asleep. You’re making me break academy rules. On my third day, no less.
J: Nick
N: All right. Luxury fabrics in Savanna Square is one of three places, but I don’t know anyone who
J: Who what?
J: Nick?
N: Sorry, Tusker was moving around in her bed. I thought it was an earthquake for a minute.
N: I don’t know anyone who would dare steal from Silas Shadow. So it was either Kiko Prong or Buddy Goldmane. Like I said, I picked the more likely one.
J: So you do know something.
N: Educated guess. But if I’m right you won’t catch the thief at night or even at Goldmane’s at all.
J: What?
N: Tell you tomorrow. Too long to type into my phone.
J: Tell me now!
N: I promise the e-mail will be waiting when you get back to the station.
J: Nick.
N: Trust me, Carrots.
J: Okay. Okay. Why didn’t you tell me before?
N: What, and spoil Paddington’s big idea?
J: …
N: It won’t hurt to wait a day. If I’m right.
N: (spoiler: I’m right)
J: All right. Thanks. Get your sleep.
N: Hey, Carrots?
J: What?
N: Miss ya.
Chat ended 0143 am
From: [email protected]
Subject: Educated guess
Okay, so in my experience, Buddy Goldmane is never opposed to making a little bit extra on the side. I’d bet blueberries to carrots he’s stealing his own merchandise and reporting it so he can collect the insurance on stolen property. I say this because I heard of him doing it about three years ago. I think at the time he had some gambling debt. Check into whether he’s been betting on sports again or maybe something else happened, like his mistress wants a new apartment. I’m not saying that this is how he’s doing it, but if *I* wanted to steal fabric from my own store, the way *I* would do it is to have a friend of mine buy a bunch of fabric and then just roll the stolen fabric in with it.
The problem you’re going to have is that if that’s how he’s doing it, it’ll be hard to catch him doing it again. If you catch the friend with the extra fabric, Buddy will claim it was a mistake; if you catch the friend selling it, well, he bought it, right? And if you catch him giving money back to Buddy, he could claim to be repaying a personal debt. Besides which, I’m not sure Buddy will risk pulling that again, since he knows you’re investigating now.
So I hear you asking, “Dear Nick, then how do I solve the case? Love, Judy.” Well, since you asked so nicely, what I would do were I an officer of the law instead of a mere trainee (that still feels weird—I trust your confidence that it’ll seem more natural soon) is look for the sale of the fabric that’s already reported stolen, which is most likely to go down at Deepwater Docks but could also be in Palm Alley or maybe in Cedar Street if they go all the way to Tundratown. If Buddy’s smart, he won’t have reported the theft until after the sale, so you probably won’t catch the sale happening, but if the fabric is exotic enough, you might be able to sniff around and find the person who bought it, and ask them who they got it from. Start with Annie Scruff. She’s a coyote who probably won’t talk to you unless you tell her I said she should. If she doesn’t know who bought it, she can put you on the trail.
And do tell Paddington that I thought his idea was *very* good, too.
Nick
P.S. I am less sore today. I may actually survive this if Wolferson doesn’t drive me crazy. Off to breakfast now.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Educated Guess
O.O
What’s Wolferson doing?
Sent from my phone
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Educated Guess
So gratifying to surprise you, but remember, I lived on the streets for twenty years. I know everyone.
Oh, Wolferson is just being a wolf. She wants to be tough like Fang but doesn’t dare bully him because she’s afraid of him so she bullies me in little physical ways like shouldering past me, pushing past me in obstacle courses, calling me “runt,” things like that. I can’t complain because I’m the smallest and I’m going to have to take care of myself on the streets, right? You know where I’m coming from. You told me they mostly ignored you, and most of the big ones ignore me too, except for Hornton, who does like me. So I’m taking your example, Carrots.
Why I want to be a cop? You know why. For the uniforms.
Nick
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Educated Guess
Dear Nick,
Paddington really is sweet. He’s well-meaning and he’s a great guy. Think Clawhauser but without the fashion sense. Aaand also without most of the other senses, including common. How did you know right away about him? I didn’t want to say anything bad about him and I still don’t, but I am starting to think that maybe Chief Bogo gave him to me as a kind of punishment, only I don’t know what I did wrong. He said when he assigned Paddington, “I hope you learn something from her,” but I thought that was just one of those things that people say, you know?
I did some snooping and I found out where Annie Scruff was hanging out. We went down there and the first thing Paddington did was to tell everyone who we were looking for. They shut all the doors in our faces, literally, and we had to go back to the station without anything. Chief Bogo didn’t look happy. Well, he never looks happy. But he especially didn’t look happy. So I’m going to have to find a way to go back there by myself and not let Paddington know. Don’t worry about it, I’ll handle it. It’s just frustrating and I can’t talk to anyone else about it.
If you’re in the same bed, then maybe you should go stand in the corner some night when you can’t sleep and look up. I’m just saying. And also if you eat bananas it’ll help with the soreness.
Love, Judy
P.S. You promised me you’d send me a picture of yourself in your training uniform and you still haven’t. And I know what you told the class. Bearester told me. I want to know what you told the interviewer when you applied.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Educated Guess
A mystery! My goodness, I can’t wait to investigate it. And before I’ve even graduated.
Tough luck about Annie. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way around it. After all, you figured out a way around me. As for Paddington, well, Carrots, I know you. You know that clever is my thing, so if he were smart at all you would’ve said, “Don’t worry, he’s not as clever as you.” But you would not say that if he was really dumb, because you’d feel bad about pointing it out. Not to mention that a cop whose defining characteristic is “everyone likes him” is probably not great at any other part of his job, and my impression of police over the last two decades is that stupidity is far more common there than anything else. I’m so glad you and I are working to change that.
Your letter was a welcome ego boost because today was a rough one for your favorite fox. Fangovin beat me in the run, mostly because my legs were still sore, and then we had to scale the ice wall and I got dunked in ice water and Bearester wouldn’t let us dry our fur, so it’s still wet. Hours later. I’m wrapped in a blanket finally and drinking something hot that smells like leaves. Everyone else except Wolferson is dry already and Wolferson is walking around bragging about how durable she is and how she doesn’t need a blanket. It’s almost enough to make a fellow throw a blanket off except it’s really warm and nice.
I’ll send you a picture when I’m not wet. My fur’s a mess.
Nick
From: [email protected]
Subject: Foxsicle
Dear Nick,
At least you got to show off your cleverness to me. Once you explained it it all made sense, and I can’t even be annoyed at you because you’re right. I wouldn’t ever tell you that anyone was cleverer than you. Except me.
I fell in that ice water enough times that I know exactly how you feel, believe me. I found that if I ran around the track a few times, it burned off the dampness pretty well, plus it made Bearester like me more. But if your legs are too sore then I guess a blanket will work, too.
There’s no way for me to get rid of Paddington. I mean, I tried giving him filing duty and report writing, but when he writes up reports he makes spelling mistakes and when he files folders they disappear faster than donuts on Clawhauser’s desk never to be seen again. So Chief Bogo says I can’t have him do that anymore. And I can’t tell him to do something without me because he says he’s supposed to learn from me. Nick, he is going to drive me CRAZY.
I asked Chief Bogo’s permission to go undercover, but he ordered me to take Paddington with me. I tried to get out of it but he got THAT tone in his voice so I scurried out of there as fast as I could. So I’m going to have to do what you would do. I’m going to bend the rules a bit. I’m just going to go down there off duty as a private citizen and see what I can find out. I hate doing it but when I imagine asking you what to do, that’s what I think you’d say, and then I argue with you and you ask me if there’s another way and I say there isn’t. So thanks. And if there is another way please message me. I’ll have my phone on silent, I promise.
Love,
Judy
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Foxsicle
Funny, that’s what Wolferson called me, too. But I got even with her, or at least I’ve started to. I’ll try your running thing today. But I’m curious: how did you get over the wall? And while we’re at it, if you have any clues about the marshland training course, I’m all ears. I’m floundering there and the big guys just wade right through.
I didn’t message you last night but I hope the undercover operation went well. It’s just what I would have done.
Today we get to fight each other in a ring. I can only imagine how fun this was for you. I suspect they won’t approve of my usual tactic of running through a narrow doorway, so I’ll have to come up with something more inventive. Shouldn’t be too hard.
Nick
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Foxsicle
Dear Nick,
I don’t know if you’d call it a success. I found Annie, and it took me about an hour and a half of asking people who didn’t want to talk to a bunny and pretending I had some illegal things to sell, and you know how I hate lying, plus I had to actually pretend I was willing to break the law, so I felt more and more horrible the farther I got into it. I wish I could be like you and not show it on the outside but I couldn’t. It might have helped, because a couple times people looked like they were going to stop me and then just waved me through. Maybe they thought I looked like someone who belonged there. Ugh, that’s even more depressing.
So I don’t know if you ever saw where Annie lives, but it was worse than all the places I had to go through to get there. She lives on the edge of Savanna Square in a neighborhood they call Happytown. Seems to be a lot of predators there, but they’re outnumbered by the bags of garbage lying around. I stepped over a passed-out jaguar, a cougar I think was homeless, and I gave my last couple bucks to a pack of wolves who pointed me to Annie’s place and then went back to huddling around their fire under a pedestrian bridge. I didn’t ask if they lived there.
Annie’s in a tenth-floor tiny apartment that she shares with six other coyotes. That I saw. There are bunks stacked three high and it smells like they’re cooking bugburgers all the time. She was nice enough when I told her I had business, opened the door and leaned there to talk to me, and I told her I was looking for some expensive fabric and I described the kind that Goldmane reported stolen. She said she knew of some but it had already been bought. So I asked her who bought it because I wanted to maybe buy it from them, and she started to close the door. That’s when I told her you said I should talk to her.
Nick, she slammed the door on me. I heard her say to one of the other coyotes inside, “Nicky thinks he can send his new cop friends after me…”
I’m sorry. I’m going to have to figure out another way. Don’t know what that is yet—if you have more ideas, I’m all ears. But I thought you’d want to know.
Love,
Judy
P.S. My first two sessions with the boxer were pretty rough. Hang in there. For the ice wall I used my classmates to get ahead. The marsh I just swam through. Good luck.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Foxsicle
Yeah, Carrots, I know Happytown. That’s where I grew up.
I didn’t realize so many people knew I was in the Academy. Guess you should probably stop using my name around.
Sorry,
Nick
Chat initiated 1143pm
J: Nick?
J: yt?
J: I know you’re up. Your status says ‘online.’ Who else are you texting?
N: You can tell these phones aren’t designed by foxes.
N: Hi, Judy.
J: I’m sorry. I didn’t know that was where you grew up.
J: I wouldn’t have said anything.
J: I’m glad you got out of there.
N: It’s okay. It’s a bad place and most of the people there are bad too.
J: Not if there are more like you.
N: I’m not upset about you going there. I *sent* you there.
J: Then what’s wrong?
J: Something’s wrong, isn’t it?
N: Hang on a second.
J: Sure.
N: Okay, sorry. I climbed out through the loose ceiling panel where you told me to look. Thanks for that, by the way. What did you use it for?
J: I got hungry some nights. I eat a lot more frequently than those bigger animals.
N: Ahh. I’ve been hungry too. But you probably figured that, didn’t you?
J: :)
N: Clever bunny. Anyway, I’m up on the roof now. It’s really nice tonight. Not too warm, and the stars are out. Did I ever tell you about the stars?
J: No.
N: I know I didn’t. That was a rhetorical device to segue into the story.
J: If you’re waiting for a ‘clever fox,’ keep waiting.
N: Ha ha. Anyway. It’s really hard for foxes to see the stars in Zootopia. There’s so much light pollution all the time, it saturates our night vision and we can’t see anything in the sky but a grey haze. We can see the moon, because it’s bright. That’s about it. My mom kept saying she wanted to take me out to see the stars sometime, but we never did.
N: For the Junior Rangers test, I had to memorize constellations. They were like this mythical world that everyone else could see but me. But I trusted they were there, because other people told me so.
N: For a while. And later, not so much. But that night we almost got killed by Manchas, on the sky car just before dawn, I happened to glance up and see the sky, and there were stars in it. There were constellations I recognized from twenty-some years ago.
N: I didn’t say anything at the time because we had other things on our mind.
N: Later, I didn’t believe they’d been real. So I went to some of the more deserted areas of Zootopia at night and I looked up. They were still there. I picked out all the constellations, even saw a shooting star once. It was kind of amazing. Actually, scratch that ‘kind of.’
N: So the stars make me think of you now. Like you showed me they’re real.
N: Judy?
N: Carrots?
N: Are you there?
J: You told me that story to make me cry, DIDN’T YOU
N: ;)
J: IT WORKED.
N: The point of that story is I needed to come up here to see them.
N: Because I feel lost right now.
N: I’ve been texting a bunch of my old ‘friends.’ The ones who bothered to respond called me…well, think of a bad name for the police and I’ve got it in my message history. Finnick is the only one who didn’t tell me to get lost, and even he said he couldn’t tell anyone he was talking to me.
N: And all the other students here are ten years younger than me, and most of them don’t like me very much either. So I needed to remind myself that someone somewhere does.
J: Did you tell me THAT to make me cry?
N: No. Are you?
J: NO.
N: Good. Don’t feel sorry for me. Just be my friend.
J: I’m always that, Nick. Always.
J: And don’t worry. When you graduate top of the class, you’ll get a lot of respect, and then people will be open to seeing the real you.
N: Thanks for the confidence. I’ll keep it in mind.
N: Now I should get back to sleep. I have a call to make anyway.
J: A call?
N: I’ll explain later if it works. Goodnight, Carrots. Thanks.
J: Goodnight. Hang in there. It’s worth it.
Chat terminated at 1208am