Chapter Text
Okay. So the thing is. Wei Ying may or may not somewhat recently acquired a piss kink.
Listen! He didn’t mean to! It just sort of… happened.
One day, circa three months ago, he had been an innocent boy scrolling his private twitter, absentmindedly liking posts from his favorite sex workers and nsfw artists and fanfic writers, as he often would, and then suddenly there it was on his tl: a video, from wangji @blue.bichen – which, hilarious names given the content – depicting a man from the waist down with gloriously muscular thighs in cute little blue short shorts, barely a 3 inch inseam, clearly outside in some sort of field, and then a big, broad hand yanked up one side of the shorts to pull a sizeable (and beautiful) cock and balls out and then a moment later, he just… pissed. Right there. In the field. On camera. Cock pulled out the bottom of his shorts. A thick stream, for nearly a full minute. The man’s cock was clearly starting to firm up as he pissed, but he seemingly paid no mind, no stroking or tugging, just. Pissing. And then a firm shake once the stream petered out, and the shorts were pulled back down, his half-hard cock readjusted, and then reaching for the phone to cut the video.
Wei Ying had had… no idea what to think.
So he had watched it another half a dozen times.
And then he went to the account.
It was truly fascinating. The only thing in his bio was “18+. omo and watersports.” The profile pic was a picture of those mouthwatering thighs in the very same blue shorts. All of his posts were… just videos. No captions asking “do i make u hard?” or “do u wanna cum and play?” or whatever other types of things most sex workers he follows usually use to promote engagement.
And, god, the videos. Most of them were the same format. Outside, in shorts, pulled to the side, never pulled down to sit under his cock, sometimes squatting and sometimes standing, just… pissing. No sounds. No grunts. No performative moaning. No masturbating, hardly ever even a tug on his cock. Nothing above the belly button.
Wei Ying, half hard in his own shorts, had brushed it off, thinking it was just a new, intriguing thing that he hadn’t really seen before, and hey, he likes a pretty cock! But then there was one video that broke the consistent formatting and also broke Wei Ying.
The man, laying on his back, a close-up this time with the camera positioned above him, fully nude, his soft cock and balls front and center, resting gently on his thighs. His cock gave a twitch before he started pissing, slowly, the clear liquid running in rivulets over the musculature of his thighs. Steadily, he pissed, and his cock continued to twitch and fill, rising slightly, beginning to curve up. The stream thinned as he hardened, shooting further across his thighs, hitting somewhere just off camera. And then, quickly, his hand came down to adjust himself so he was pissing up his abdomen, piss collecting in his belly button and shooting up toward his pecs, again tragically off camera. And then, as the stream finally thinned until it was just a few drips, he began tensing his thighs and abs and a few seconds later he was – he was coming, shooting thick ropes of come all over himself–
And Wei Ying had frantically pulled his aching cock out of his shorts and jerked himself to completion in a matter of seconds.
So! Truly not Wei Ying’s fault. His interest had been piqued! You can’t blame him for following the rabbit trail.
However, what you can blame Wei Ying for is following the account and coming back to it nearly daily for the past three months and perhaps doing some of his own personal tests to confirm whether he has a piss kink purely theoretically or if he also has it in practice. Well, three months later, one could say that Wei Ying is… practiced.
Anyways!
What does any of that have to do with his current situation?
Well, thanks for asking, it’s actually the worst possible situation that could be happening.
For once, he was actually early to class, scrolling on his public twitter, thank you very much, when the universe decided to smite him and put one of @blue.bichen’s videos on his tl, one of the ones with his signature blue shorts and also unfortunately one of the ones where he gets right to business pulling his cock out to piss, and because Wei Ying is a horny bastard who is maybe a little bit obsessed with this random man, he does not immediately scroll away and so the universe smote him again and Lan Zhan, his bestest of friends, his beloved innocent classmate who would probably combust at the mention of a penis, his favorite person in the world to tease relentlessly, walked up behind him to sit next to him and most definitely saw what was on Wei Ying’s phone. Wei Ying didn’t hear him until he pulled out the chair next to him and so Wei Ying very unsubtly yelped and scrolled and then also just shut his phone off but one look at Lan Zhan’s face told him that his eyes were 110% zeroed in on his phone screen.
Which brings us to right now, Wei Ying sitting next to his best friend, surely as red as a tomato, stumbling over his words to try to smooth over the situation.
“Ah- aha, Lan Zhan, didn’t see you there!” he says, far too loudly. “Don’t, uh- don’t mind what you saw just now – if you even saw anything, ha ha! – it was just, um, something that popped up on my timeline! Stupid, uh, algorithm… Ha,” he ends lamely.
Lan Zhan looks at him with a slightly amused expression and red ears, denoting his minor embarrassment. Lan Zhan certainly has come so far since freshman year, where one glance at some gay porn in his science notebook has caused him to threaten Wei Ying with no less than ten different forms of violence.
“Mn,” he says cryptically, and opens his mouth as though he intended to say something else, but just then the prof bustles in and starts chattering about the mess that is the layout of this goddamn university. For the record, she’s so right.
Wei Ying spends the first twenty minutes of class a little bit freaking out about the whole Situation, worrying that Lan Zhan was going to start treating him weirdly or see him differently. But halfway through the lecture, the prof gives them a few minutes to discuss with their classmates, and he and Lan Zhan discuss the material exactly like usual. No tension or awkwardness, just normal discussion about theory and the reading and all that good shit.
Thank fuck.
***
A couple of weeks later, Wei Ying is happy to report that things still seem normal! Lan Zhan never brought up seeing the video, never asked Wei Ying about it or why it might have popped up on his timeline, so it seemed to just be an awkward little water-under-the-bridge type thing.
However, Wei Ying is unhappy to report that he is most certainly way deeper in this kink and this specific content creator than he thought he was. He and Lan Zhan have been hanging out like usual, nearly daily at either of their apartments as well as in between classes. It’s still warm out, only a few weeks into fall semester, so they spend a lot of time outside. And sometimes… sometimes Wei Ying thinks some of the fields they pass by on their lunch time walks look a little familiar. But that’s insane. Fields look the same, that’s kind of their whole deal.
But also, Lan Zhan seems to have taken to wearing some shorter shorts than he usually does… which can be totally written off as being due to the heat! Except for the fact that Lan Zhan has never worn short shorts before, at least as long as Wei Ying has known him. Now he has to struggle to not pop an inconvenient boner every time Lan Zhan comes back from a run while Wei Ying is over, desperately looking anywhere besides Lan Zhan’s legs to calm himself.
Okay, so whatever, that’s just Wei Ying being a perv and putting his own horny fantasies onto his best friend and he’s gonna work on that! Because, and here’s a secret, he has also been totally and completely in love with Lan Zhan for like a year now and he feels like a total creep superimposing the guy he’s been watching on twitter onto his real-life crush. Unfortunately, though, even with his increasing attempts to separate the two in his head, he’s still a horny bastard and has been fantasizing about Lan Zhan sexually for at least four times as long as he’s known he has this specific kink, so his horniness about this is not easily divorced from his horniness over Lan Zhan and he has been.. Noticing things.
Lan Zhan has always been the better hydrated of the two, he knows this. Lan Zhan is prim and proper and never drinks less than the recommended amount of water per day, along with a few cups of green tea throughout the day, maybe a jasmine or a black from the cafe if he’s feeling frisky. But recently it seems like Lan Zhan has been drinking even more. Refilling his glass at lunch. Asking Wei Ying to refill his water bottle. Grabbing a tea from the cafe to sip on during class every day rather than once a week.
Wei Ying feels like he’s going crazy. That’s an absurd thing to notice! No one should be paying attention to how much liquid their best friend/crush is drinking! No one should be thinking about how this is the second full water bottle Lan Zhan has finished today, and they still have another hour before they both get to go home, and how Lan Zhan notoriously hates to use public bathrooms. No one should be thinking about how full Lan Zhan must be feeling by now, how much he must want to just rush home to relieve himself. No one should be thinking about how Lan Zhan must sound when he finally gets to piss, maybe sighing in relief, maybe grunting in pleasure, and pissing for so long, since he’s had so much to drink, maybe pissing for so long he starts to get hard and–
“Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying nearly jumps out of his seat, blinking up at Lan Zhan. Huh. It appears as though class it over.
“I am going to go refill this,” he says, holding up his water bottle, “and then we can head to the trail.”
“Sounds great!” Wei Ying nearly shouts, his head swimming.
Holy fuck. He had totally forgotten they were going hiking after class today. That means… that means that Lan Zhan wasn’t going to be stopping home to– to–
Lan Zhan pops his head back into the classroom to check if Wei Ying is coming, so he shoves all his shit into his backpack and hurries out the door.
During the walk to the car (Lan Zhan’s, fancy, hybrid, blue with beige leather interiors) and the fifteen minute ride, Wei Ying manages to chatter his usual nonsense to Lan Zhan with what he thinks is convincing nonchalance. Truth be told, though, he could not tell you one single thing he’s said in the last half an hour. While his mouth ran, he was more focused on how much Lan Zhan probably needed to piss, how hot he’d be when he did, questioning whether or not he was imagining Lan Zhan seeming more tense than usual, seemingly a little twitchy, like he was trying not to bounce his leg.
They finally arrive at the place, an unofficial hiking trail that they’ve come to think of as their own little private space, since it’s always completely deserted. There’s a sparse spattering of trees surrounded by shrubs and grass before the treeline becomes denser, a trail cutting right through it and up the hill all the way to a lovely little natural pond that they spent many a summer day reading by.
Lan Zhan parks the car and holds up a small duffel bag.
“I am going to get changed,” he tells Wei Ying, pointing over to the little copse. Ah, yeah, that makes sense, seeing as Lan Zhan is currently in a button-up and slacks.
“Sick, I’ll just wait for you here, then, I’m just gonna wear this,” he replies, gesturing to his band tshirt and old ass Hot Topic shorts, the kind that were a little too long and had studs up the sides, half of which were falling off, that made him look a little douchey but, like, in a funny fashionable goth-adjacent way. At least he hopes. Not like he has anything else to change into anyway.
As soon as Lan Zhan leaves, Wei Ying pulls the mirror down to give himself a talking to. He points at himself in the mirror.
“You are going to be so normal. You are not going to think about your best friend pissing. You are not going to wonder about how bad he has to go. You are going to have a normal hike and it’s going to be fine and then you are going to go home and jerk off about it but until then you are going to be normal.”
He nods at himself.
He can do this.
Well. In a minute he can do this. Lan Zhan still isn’t back from changing.
Wei Ying pulls out his phone, opening one of his silly little color match games to pass the time, not wanting to risk twitter and render his pep talk useless.
A couple of games later, Lan Zhan is still not back. Huh. Maybe he had to, like, fold his pants in a super intricate way to keep the pleats in the right spot so they don’t get all deformed or whatever in the duffel back. Or maybe he got dirt on his shirt and had to do some emergency spot-cleaning with the stain stick he keeps in every bag in case of any coffee spills or food mishaps, usually courtesy of Wei Ying.
Or. Or maybe. Maybe he realized he’s not going to be able to hold it until they get home, seeing as they have a hike ahead of them, at least forty-five minutes plus a twenty minute car ride back, and he’s going to need to drink more water to stay cool. Maybe he decided he was full enough that he needed some relief, so in between changing out of his slacks and into his shorts he tucked himself behind a tree and took himself in hand, and or just– just let it hang and let go–
His phone pings with a notification. Twitter. His private account. For @blue.bichen. A new post. Because he’s horny bastard with post notifications on. He clicks to it immediately, no impulse control, not now.
A video. Those damned blue shorts. Trees in the background. Also– Wei Ying’s eyes go wide. A caption. “Pissing while a friend is nearby.”
He clicks the video. Over three minutes long.
It starts with the man almost frantically shoving the leg of his shorts up to pull out his cock, already half hard. The video is more full screen than usual, not as cropped, giving Wei Ying a delicious glimpse of a full pec and a pert nipple while the man leans down slightly when he pulls himself out. Then– he’s pissing, he’s pissing hard and fast, and he’s– god, fuck, Wei Ying is already so hard, now even harder– the man is making sounds, just enough to be audible, a grunt, a groan, a hiss. His dick is growing, too, the stream thinning just as it did in that first video that really drove Wei Ying crazy, and the man’s sounds get louder, he’s clearly breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling quickly. And then, after nearly two full minutes of pissing and groaning, the man’s cock fully erect, he takes himself in hand and starts stripping his cock, harsh, long tugs, like he’s trying to come as quickly as possible, like he needs it, and fuck, Wei Ying needs it too–
He knows Lan Zhan could come back any minute, refuses to hope about what’s happening, but either way he needs to come now, he’s harder than he’s ever been in his life– he shoves his hand down his shorts and palms his wet, sticky cock, eyes trained on the video. The man is somehow jerking himself even faster, his hips twitching, grunting on every other upstroke before beginning a long, loud groan as he– as he starts to come, right into the grass where he just pissed so, so much, shooting his load, rope after rope of come, it never seems to end–
Predictably, it pushes Wei Ying over the edge too, shuddering and convulsing as the video ends, coming in his goddamn shorts with the most intense orgasm he’s had maybe ever, totally soaking his boxers. He sits there for a moment, shuddering, enjoying the comedown, his eyes shut and his head back against the headrest.
Fuck, he thinks after a minute. Not nearly as long as he’d like to bask in the afterglow of such an incredible orgasm, but his hand is covered in come and Lan Zhan is going to be back any minute. He goes to pull out his hand from his shorts when something out of the corner of his eye catches his attention. He turns to look out the window to see–
Lan Zhan. Walking back towards the car. Duffel bag in hand, smug fucking smirk on his face, tiny blue shorts clinging to his thighs.
Wei Ying… Wei Ying just tips his head back and laughs. What else is a guy to do? He laughs, and laughs, and runs his clean hand over his face. A moment later, there’s a tap on his window, so he rolls it down, jittery and embarrassing and still horny out of his mind. He keeps his eyes closed for another moment, delaying the inevitable.
When he finally opens them, Lan Zhan is leaning down, arms crossed on the windowsill, full-on shit eating grin plastered on his face, looking pointedly at Wei Ying’s left hand still shoved down his shorts, accompanied by the incriminating stain. He turns to pin Wei Ying with his intense stare, which Wei Ying officially realizes is actually not full of annoyance but rather lust.
“I take it you liked my newest video?” the smug motherfucker asks.
“Oh, fuck you, you beautiful asshole,” Wei Ying retorts, and then pulls in the terrible, horrible, horny, kinky love of his life and kisses him senseless.