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It'd kind of just happened, really. The late nights. It wasn't like a planned thing or like a big deal, it's just been a “we fell into it” sort of thing. Easy. Maybe too easy.
Eddie's van had been collateral damage in Vecna's 2nd Coming, or whatever, and he'd sold enough to save up for a stupid little hatchback–the mom van to Steves’s mom energy, he liked to call it. He kept blankets in there now. The kind Steve's mom always called Mexican blankets, the thick fabric with the stripes and fringe. But Eddie's were all softer and faded and nice, not the stiff material Steve was used to. They smelled a little like smoke and sunshine and maybe caramel if Steve was high enough and thinking about it too hard.
There was a pink one and a yellow one and a dark red one and they'd layer em up somewhere quiet and empty and under the stars and sit close enough that the blunt could touch both of their fingers at the same time. If it rained they'd hole up in Eddie's house.
It was nice tonight, though. Steve liked when the yellow blanket was on top. It did something to make Eddie look softer. Kind of cozy and gentle and sweet. He didn't usually look gentle or sweet.
Steve watched the way his toes wiggled under his socks. They always did. It was a constant thing. Steve only knew because if he didn't have to, Eddie was never wearing shoes.
“You think it's ever going to get cold here again?” Steve asked. It hadn’t been cold since Vecna.
Eddie hummed. A soft noise that came out and dispersed with the smoke he exhaled. “No.”
His legs were stretched out in front of him. Long and lean, crossed at his ankles out at the end of the blanket.
“You sound like you don't want it to.”
A slow inhale. The cherry of the blunt flared red in the night. Sizzled something crispy and light.
Eddie was quiet a minute. Like he was sure Steve wouldn't get bored waiting for him to speak or something. Like he felt no need to rush words out to just keep anyone around.
Steve looked out into the dark around them. The grass that was too crispy and burnt for a November. The moonlight a white glare across Eddie's windshield.
“I don't mind the cold. It kinda eats at Wayne's bones, though. Couldn't ever afford to really keep it warm enough to burn the ache out in the winter.”
“That's horrible,” Steve whispered.
Eddie's cloud of smoke wafted out around him.
“Don't have to worry about it this year.” It sounded soft, placating, like Eddie was trying to make Steve feel better about it all.
“I don't like the cold,” Steve said.
“No?” Eddie had this way of making non questions sound like they were full of a million of them.
“It makes me sad.”
“Nobody to cuddle up to?” Eddie asked. He leaned a little into Steve when he said it, and when he pulled away he didn't go as far as he had been.
“Something like that,” Steve said. Because he didn't want to think about it.
“I get that,” Eddie said. “I spent a winter in Mr. Cabrera's bed.”
“What.”
“Second senior year, so, like, already passed his class.” He tucked the blunt up between Steve’s fingers.
“Eddie.”
“Eighteen and legal.”
“Jesus I'm not judging you, man.” Steve took a hit for something to do.
“That's good because it was definitely 10th grade and I definitely wasn't legal.”
Steve snorted and the smoke burned deep in his nose. When he looked at Eddie, there was a soft thing happening on his face. Like he liked Steve or something. Like he liked being here with him.
“Did he treat you well?” Steve asked. Voice too soft.
Eddie's head tilted to the side a little, his smile grew. Fixed on Steve. “Yes.” He said. “I resented him for it in the moment. But looking back I appreciate it.”
“Yeah?”
Eddie hummed. “It taught me some things.”
“Like what?” Steve tucked the blunt between his lips and adjusted the angle he was sitting at. Just a little closer to Eddie. Maybe not even noticeable. Hopefully.
“There's not enough sweet in sex when you're cruising for it. I think without the basis he set I'd be all cruel. Not because I want to, but because I'd have thought it was how things were supposed to be.”
“Cruel?” Steve asked around the blunt. He thought of holding Nancy’s hand on the pillow. Of whispering how pretty she was in the dark of his room. He thought of tucking Lisa’s hair behind her ear and looking up at Britney and she rode him slow and traced circles on his chest.
Eddie was watching his mouth. Nodded, then shook his head a little. “Yeah, no, maybe I mean rough. Mean? Rough. Cruel is probably too strong a word.”
Steve’s head was swirling something pretty and light and he pursed his lips. Made the blunt bounce in the air between them. “Don’t know if I’ve ever been rough.”
“No?” Eddie asked.
Steve tried to think hard about holding Nancy’s hand. Maybe pushing it down above her instead. His nose scrunched. “I haven’t hurt anyone.”
Eddie smiled. “No, sweetheart.” He reached out to grab the blunt from Steve’s lips. “No I wouldn’t think you had.”
Steve wanted to feel relieved. Thought maybe he felt more embarrassed about it instead. He couldn’t even begin to let his thoughts touch sweetheart right now.
“Did you pass Cabrera’s class?”
Eddie laughed a little bark of a sound. “He had me transferred out to remedial English right after the first time.”
Steve squinted. “But you’re such a nerd.”
Eddie nodded. Bumped into Steve again. “Was worth it.”
“No wonder you never showed up.”
It was getting darker. The blue of the sky hazing out into a musky navy. The stars brighter. The moon off hidden behind a cloud somewhere.
“Better things to do.”
“I wouldn’t have shown up either. I needed a 2.7 or higher to stay on the swim team.”
Eddie smiled, teeth shining orange in the glare of the cherry that was fizzling out. “Back when the easiest of life's problems felt impossible, right?” He held the blunt back out for Steve. Then his attention shifted out the sky and Steve felt suddenly lonely.
Steve leaned a little. Pressed his shoulder into Eddie’s. Felt better. He felt like he was moving with the breeze of the wind. Swaying in the air, steadied by Eddie at his side. “I wouldn’t mind if it was cold right now,” he said. He stretched his legs out in a long line to match Eddie’s. He was shorter. His toes just barely reaching Eddie’s crossed ankles.
“We’d need another blanket,” Eddie said. Eyes still up towards the stars.
Steve could picture it, maybe. He felt fuzzy and soft inside. Thought of a blanket wrapped around both of their shoulders, soft and warm. Sunshine and caramel and thick in their little bubble of smoke. His elbow maybe tucked into the dip right above Eddie’s hip. In the gnarly scar there that made the whole half of his stomach pink and rough and interesting.
“Just one?” Steve asked.
“Promise not to be rough.” Eddie threw him a smile.
Steve couldn’t even picture it. Eddie being rough. “You’re always sweet to me,” he said. Loose, apparently. Thoughtless.
Eddie looked at him. Eyes suddenly dropped to Steve’s face, body suddenly shifted into Steve’s. Steve inhaled hard.
“I think you deserve it,” he said after a minute. “How many people are sweet to you, Stevie?”
He wanted to say Robin, but their shtick was never sweet. Robin was everything to him, but gentle wasn’t in her personality. He wasn’t missing it from her, though. “I dunno.”
“You’re real sweet to everyone else, though, huh?” Eddie asked.
“No,” Steve said. “I’m kind of a dick.”
Eddie watched him. Didn’t say anything for a minute but his body was shifting slowly backwards so he could see Steve better. “When's the last time someone asked you for something and you said no?”
Steve watched Eddie's lips form the words. Soft and pink. He had girl lips. They looked pillowy or something.
“I don't know,” Steve said. He did know. He never said no.
Eddie let Steve's voice sit in the air a minute, then said, “seems sweet to me, no?”
“Oh.” His eyes tracked across Eddie's chest. His hands. Back up to his eyes. Was the blunt out already? Eddie's head was tilted towards Steve.
“You don’t think so?” Eddie asked.
Steve didn’t know what to say.
“When’s the last time someone dropped everything to do a thing for you?”
“Um.”
“Um?”
“How bout this: when’s the last time you even asked anyone to, big boy?” Eddie’s tone was playful, kinda, but there was something heavy in his eyes that had Steve a little stuck in the fuzz of the starlight swarming around him.
Steve shook his head. His eyes dropped to somewhere at Eddie’s collar bones. Sharp and defined, and always seemed to be poking out at the loose, frayed neck of whatever band shirt he was wearing.
Steve swallowed. His mouth was dry. “I don’t know.”
“Well, I would, you know.” Eddie said. Eye’s fixed on Steve’s even though he wouldn’t meet the gaze. “I’d drop anything for you.”
Steve scrunched his nose. Rubbed at his own wrists, like he was bound here by Eddie’s words. “Even the next campaign? I heard there's some kind of bats.”
Eddie’s lips ticked up a little at the sides. “If you don’t think I’d leave those little fuckers waiting on my doorstep at the mere mention that you wanted me, you’re delusional, Stevie.”
Steve shook his head again.
“I’m so serious.”
Steve rolled his eyes.
“Try me,” Eddie said. “Any fucking time, try me.”
–
Steve hadn’t wanted to, but he did. Try Eddie, that is. It was unintentional, entirely unintentional, but he’d just, well, needed someone.
He knew it. By the ragged way he couldn’t catch his breath and the way his cheeks were flushing and his heart was racing. He couldn’t drive home. He couldn’t even get out to his car. He’d sent the text in a moment of desperation, gasping and hot and cheeks wet, can you come get me.
Apparently that was enough.
omw
Steve stared down at the text hard. omw. omw. omw. omw. Steve’s omw always auto corrected to On my way! Like he was some kind of over exuberant child. omw. He breathed. Eddie was coming.
In. Out. In. Out.
He counted to ten. Had to restart at 6 but still got there.
omw.
Eddie's on his way. Eddie was coming. omw.
He was breathing slowing by the time Eddie got there. He still felt hot, like maybe his face was still red, but his breath came more regularly and he thought maybe he could stand up if he wanted to.
He saw the boots first. Untied, laces dangling at the sides, thrown on quick, paired with shittily cut light blue jean shorts, cut halfway up Eddie's thighs, and a band shirt with the whole sides cut off, not just the sleeves.
“Fuck,” Steve said.
Eddie crouched down in front of him, grabbed Steve's hand, and put it on his own stomach. “Breathe with me?”
Eddie inhaled slowly. Exhaled just as evenly. Steve tried to lengthen his breathes. Match the long inhale, the slow release. It took him awhile but eventually they were matched, breath for breath.
It was weird to be this aware of Eddie's breath when they weren't smoking. No cloud around them. No hazy fuzz of weed clattering around in his head.
He felt better.
His eyes dropped down to Eddie's knees, jutting out in front of him, aimed at Steve. Their hands were tucked between Eddie's thighs and stomach sandwiched between almost no fabric and hot skin.
“You're dressed like a whore,” Steve said.
Eddie's head dropped down, his hair fell over his face, and his shoulders shook like he was laughing. Steve watched the curls bounce, felt the flex in his stomach muscles.
“I told you I'd drop anything,” he said, still laughing.
“What’d you drop? Mr. Cabrera?”
Eddie snorted. Swayed on the balls of his feet. “Jesus Christ.”
“No, no, it's just I'm sorry I got in the way of you getting your dick wet.”
“Don't let Robin hear you talk like that.”
“She’d castrate me, totally.”
“Maybe not. You're technically objectifying men, not women.”
“Then she'd encourage me.”
“Right, right,” Eddie said. He squeezed Steve's fingers, pressed them hard into his stomach before letting go.
“I hope he wasn't just, like, the most hot,” Steve said.
“God,” Eddie said. Shook his head.
“Fuck, he was?”
“I dunno, define hot or whatever.”
“Um.”
“Um?”
“You know,” Steve said. Shrugged. Looked at his hand, resting in his own lap now.
“Do I?”
“Like, um, big?”
Steve didn't have to look up to hear the smile on Eddie's face when he asked, “big?”
“Like, um bigger and stuff.”
“Bigger than you is your hot qualifier, big boy?” Oh the smile sounded bigger now.
Steve rolled his eyes at Eddie. Self preservation.
“You're pretty fucking tall, sweetheart. Shorter than me, maybe, but I don't know how many girls out there are really gunna be towering over you like that.” He paused. Steve watched him narrow his eyes, kinda tilt his head back and forth like he was debating something. “I mean, they're findable.” He looked amused. “Didn’t peg you as into that, though.”
Steve pushed Eddie's knee and smirked at him when Eddie fell back in his ass. “We're not talking about hot girls. Jesus, man.”
Eddie tilted his head, rested his forearms on his knees, legs bent out in front of him. “Bigger guys?” He hummed. “Nah. I mean, well, sometimes. I'm not picky, beggars and choosers and all, right? But, like, I don't prefer it.”
Steve wrinkled his nose. “You like small men?”
“I mean, it's not an either/or type of situation.” Eddie looked amused. Like Steve was just oh so funny. “I just like to be bigger, it's a thing, or something.”
“A thing?” Steve asked. “Like a kink?”
Eddie stuck his tongue out and flicked it at Steve.
“What, you don't have any kinks, big boy?”
Steve rolled his eyes. “No.”
“No?”
He shook his head. “Course not.”
“No way I'm buying that shit.”
“I'm serious, I don't.”
Eddie narrowed his eyes. Licked his lower lip. Thinking. “What's so hot about bigger men, Steve?”
“What do you mean?”
“You're all shy on me now? What is it? I gotta get you high to learn all the good shit?”
Steve thought maybe his face and chest and stomach and whole body might actually be red right now.
“No?”
“No?” Did he always have to look so amused?
“You just found out I think some guys are hot. Sober.”
“Normal, casual, everyday stuff, Stevie.”
His jaw maybe dropped open. Like a cartoon or something.
“I'm sorry,” Eddie said. Smile too wide. Too shit eating. “Let me not trample all over your vulnerabilities.”
“Uh huh.”
Eddie only smiled bigger.
“Well you be vulnerable, then, if that's not good enough.” Steve said.
So amused. Always so so amused. “Who said I'm sober?”
“I know you are.”
A tilt of Eddie's head.
“It's not safe to meet strangers for sex when you're not.” Steve rolled his eyes. Spoke in a bubbly, goofy put on voice, like he was running an infomercial. “Inebriated consent isn't really consent in certain situations. I watched your fucking PowerPoint for the kids.”
Eddie snorted. “You made me make that.”
“It was important.”
“Yes.” He nodded, still amused. “I still like to fuck high, despite the PowerPoint.”
Steve groaned. “Shut up.” Eddie was grinning at him something stupid, so he said, “you just touch things more when you're high. Like your pants or the blanket or like anything textured, maybe? Like you like the feeling.” He nodded at Eddie's still hands, “you're not high.”
Eddie's eyes dropped down to Steve's hands, like he was going to see himself touching things through them. He looked up at Steve, eyes dark under his lashes. “And you want me to believe you're not the sweetest boy out there?”
“I don't,” Steve started. “That's not…”
Eddie hummed.
“I'm not trying to be sweet,” Steve said.
“No, big boy, I know. I think it just comes natural to you.”
“I feel better,” Steve said. “I don't know what happened, I don't know why. But I just feel better when you're here.”
Eddie's smile was soft, easy and calming. “Yeah?”
“Thank you,” Steve said. “I'm sorry if he really was hot.”
Eddie snorted like half a laugh. “You think I'm finding anyone hotter than king Steve to be with around here, you're crazy.”
Steve burned all over. “You're lying.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.
“I'm not king Steve.”
“Just Steve,” Eddie said.
Steve nodded. Still warm. Cozy.
“How about,” Eddie paused for a second, tilted his head, right for a minute longer than maybe was comfortable. “Princess?”
Hot. He was all hot again. “What?”
“How about princess Steve? You like that?”
“Um.”
“Um?”
“Princess,” Steve whispered.
Eddie hummed.
Steve shook his head, shrugged, thought about it, shrugged again.
Eddie watched him. “Wanna try it?”
“Try it?” Steve whispered.
Eddie hummed again.
Steve had not a single thought happening. “Yeah?”
Eddie smiled. Was Steve breathing too hard? Maybe.
“I think it was so brave of you to call me. You did so good. You're always so good, aren't you, princess?”
“Oh,” Steve said.
“Oh?”
Steve felt soft and nice and special. “Yeah,” he breathed.
“Yeah,” Eddie smiled. “Let's get you home, big boy.”
He could have put up a fight, insisted on driving himself home, whatever, buy he felt calm and easy and safe with Eddie and he didn't want to give that up yet.
“Can I go to yours?” He heard himself ask.
Eddie's smile grew too big, too happy. He nodded hard, at huge dramatic thing. “I'd like that.”
Steve nodded. He stood up and held a hand out to help Eddie up too. “Me, too.”
–
Steve didn't really know what a home was supposed to feel like, but he thought it'd be something like how Eddie's place felt. It was just that maybe there was no wrong way to exist there, or something, and that was something Steve wasn't used to.
It always smelled vaguely herby, like weed, yeah, but like some kind of spicy thing Eddie liked to burn. Sometimes, it would make the fire alarms go off if he burned it on the tall dresser next to his TV, and he’d curse and bitch and roll his eyes about slumlords and their cheap shit and then accidentally do it again a few weeks later.
His place wasn't messy but it wasn't empty, either, and all the furniture was mismatched and soft and faded. It was cozy and comfortable and Steve was allowed to sit on every chair and walk in every room and it was never ever a problem.
It was nice, that was all.
Eddie just kicked his boots off somewhere next to the doorway and threw his keys on the kitchen counter when he walked in and Steve smiled as he tucked his own shoes against the wall neatly.
“Sweats, shorts?”
He followed Eddie down the hall to his room. “Whatever works.”
Eddie was a no outside clothes on the bed type of person, something Steve’s mom had never really cared about, but it makes sense, he guesses. It was nice, either way, to be able to slide into a pair of Eddie’s soft, worn sweats, and one of his old as shit band shirts that were worn ragged and holy.
Everything of Eddie’s was cozy.
“Smoke now or later,” Eddie asked, after tossing Steve some clothes and then digging some for himself out of a lower drawer.
Steve didn’t know why the question made him pause. Now or later. He didn’t know why later was on the tip of his tongue, why now felt like not an option at all for some reason.
“Can start rolling for later?” He said.
Eddie hummed. “Is it, like, a smoke til we’re brain dead kinda night or a smoke til we’re easy?”
“Do you even get that high?” Steve asked, kicking his own clothes over to Eddie’s laundry pile and tugging on the softer fabric.
“Doesn’t everyone?” Eddie laughed.
“I feel like you never look as high as I feel.”
“I mean you might get there quicker, for sure.”
Steve didn’t watch him strip out of his slutty outfit. He really didn’t. “Cons of smoking weed since you were like eight, right?”
Eddie snorted. “I was at least nine.”
And Steve knew he was joking with the wholehearted truth. He rolled his eyes. Climbed in Eddie’s bed. “I feel like I get so high that I have to think about breathing.”
“Maybe that’s concerning, princess.”
Steve laughed, but felt all squirmy inside. How was Eddie so casual about everything all the time.
“You’re not gunna let me stop breathing, are you?” Steve asked.
Eddie was digging around in his stash, searching for the pre-rolls Steve knew he was going to have to re-roll and re-stock for himself as they smoked them, but he always handed them out to Steve easy, no questions asked.
“Let you?” He turned, joints and lighter in hand. “Never.”
Steve rolled his eyes. It was a habit at this point. Robin rubbing off on him.
“For later,” Eddie said. “Once you decide.”
“Can I ask you something?” Steve asked.
“Do I get a turn after?”
“Twenty questions?”
“Why limit ourselves,” Eddie said, climbing into the bed to settle in next to Steve.
“Questions until we smoke ourselves brain dead?”
“When do we start smoking?”
Steve scrunched his nose, “when my sober vulnerabilities run out?”
“Hm, good plan.” He leaned over off the edge of the bed to rustle around in the pocket of his slutty shorts. He grabbed his phone and something else Steve didn’t catch and a moment later something that sounded like it was meant to be loud was playing softly out of his bluetooth speaker. “Alright, shoot.”
“Were you really with a guy when I texted?”
Eddie smiled in that soft way that wasn’t even big enough to make his dimple pop out. “No.”
“No?” Steve tried to think back to what they said at Family Video.
“I was entertained so I ran with it,” he said.
“Oh my god,” Steve said.
Eddie laughed.
“What were you doing?”
“Uh uh, princess, it’s my turn.”
Steve tucked his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs, “right.”
Eddie stretched out next to him with his arms tucked under his head on his pillow. “Who’s the first guy you found hot?”
“Like famous or here?”
Eddie shrugged.
“I think it was Hop.”
Eddie grinned at him, something slow creeping up over his face as he swung his head to the side to look at Steve.
“No way?”
“I was like eight maybe.”
“Stevie, that’s so young. And here I thought these were new vulnerabilities you were sharing with me.” Always so fucking amused.
“I don’t think I knew what it meant then.” But Steve was entirely unashamed about this one. “I think I just thought that I thought he was cool, or something.”
Eddie nodded. “Totally.” He snapped his teeth twice at Steve. “I grew up with Hop, was totally into him for a minute, too.”
“Great minds,” Steve said. “Who was the first guy for you?”
“You mean other than Mr. Cabrera?”
“Jesus.”
“Probably you, or something,” Eddie said. Shrugged.
“Me?”
Eddie's eyes were closed as he thought back. “Yeah, we were on the same little league team when I first moved in with Wayne.” He crossed his feel at the ankles and one foot started bouncing slowly along with the rhythm of the song Steve could barely hear.
“We were not.” Steve couldn’t remember. Tried to remember all the teams he’d been on. There wasn’t anyone with wild curly hair or an intoxicatingly huge smile. Eddie was too big to just forget.
“Yes, the Hawkins Healers. What even is a healer?”
Steve squinted. Couldn’t remember. “There’s no way you were on the Healers.”
“Like nurses? Were we named after nurses? Doctors, maybe?”
“You weren’t on the Healers, Eddie.”
“Yes, I was, mister first base.”
Steve did play first base back then. “Why don’t I remember you?”
“Isn’t it my turn to ask a question.” He was smiling, though, entertained.
“Eddie.”
“Steve.”
“What the fuck, man?”
Eddie laughed. “I dunno, I was quiet back then. Freshly buzzed and shoved out here in the middle of nowhere. There was a lot Wayne had to, like, love out of me.”
“Buzzed?” Steve thought back. Tommy and Tommy and Jason and… some kid with a buzz cut? He really couldn’t remember.
“Dad did it. It’s not a big deal, Steve, you’ve always been hot, we know this.”
Steve groaned. “No, we don’t.”
“We totally do.”
“Are you going to ask your question now or what.”
“Right right,” Eddie grinned at him. Looked up at the little plastic glow in the dark stars some kid who lived here before him had left on his ceiling. “How’d you lose your virginity?”
Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “My neighbor.”
“What?”
“Mrs. Harnois.”
“Steve, she’s, like, Wayne’s age.”
“So?”
Eddie laughed. Some loud, giggly sort of thing that made Steve feel warm. “It couldn’t have gone well.”
“Fuck, no. I came in like three seconds flat and pretended not to until I was too soft to keep going.”
Eddie snorted. “No you didn’t.” He started hard up at the stars like if he looked at Steve at all he'd just lose it.
“Swear to god, I was so embarrassed.” Steve squeezed his arms tighter around his knees and shook his head. “I avoided her for months after. Was so sure she was gunna laugh in my face.”
“Happens to the best of us, big boy.” But he couldn’t stop laughing.
Steve didn’t really want him to. Liked when Eddie laughed.
“What were you doing when I texted?” Steve asked.
“Jerking off.”
“Oh,” Steve said.
“Oh.”
“Sorry.”
“No need.” Eddie grinned, lulled his head over to look at Steve. “There’ll be future jerking off, I’m sure.”
Steve scrunched his nose and pressed his chin into his knees. “You make it sound chronic.”
“Aw, only when I think about you, sweetheart.”
Steve knew his cheeks got red instantly. Felt them burn. “Don’t lie.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow at him. “Scouts honor.”
“You're not a scout.”
“Drug dealers honor.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Is weed even really a drug, honestly?”
“Jesus, Eddie’s honor.”
“You are very honorable.” Steve nodded solemnly. Very serious.
Eddie was all toothy smile. “I try to be.”
“Do you?”
He laughed. “I mean, no, not really.”
“Only about jerking off, then?” Steve grabbed fistfuls of the extra fabric at his ankles.
“Only about jerking off to you.”
“Important distinction?”
Eddie watched him. “Very.”
“Why?” Steve whispered.
“Isn’t it my turn to ask a question?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me a secret.”
“That’s not a question.”
“What’s one of your secrets?”
Steve grunted at him.
Eddie laughed.
“What kind of secret?” He dug his fingernails into the fabric in his fists. Watched the way Eddie's chest moved as he laughed. As he breathed.
“I don’t know, I’ll take any.”
“What if I don’t have any?”
“Everyone has secrets.” Eddie tugged one of his arms out from under his head and stretched it out, so it was behind Steve. The heat of his skin so, so close to Steve's lower back.
“I feel like you don’t.”
The arm shifted. Just a little. Not any closer, maybe? “Just because I blurt things out to you doesn’t mean they aren’t secrets from everyone else.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“I, well,” Steve closed his eyes, “I can’t stop thinking about what you said. About being rough during sex.”
Eddie stilled. Everything about his body stopped moving for just a second. “That’s your secret, sweetheart?”
“It doesn’t sound like one, does it?” Steve shook his head. He couldn't think of anything else.
“No, I mean it does. It does because you think it’s one.”
“Is that weird?”
The arm behind Steve definitely moved closer. Was touching the waistband of his sweats, now. “I don’t think so. What about it makes you curious?”
“Well,” Steve whispered. “Don’t you feel mean if you’re rough during sex?”
Eddie hummed, “yeah, of course. That might be the whole point.”
“What?”
“Some people like that. If I’m a little mean. I like it.”
“You like it? People being mean to you during sex?”
“Mm, no.” His voice was calmer now. Dropped down soft in a way that made Steve feel soft, too. “I like to be mean.”
“You do?” He whispered. Not on purpose.
“I do.”
“I’ve never…”
“Never tried it?”
“No.” Steve said. Stared hard at the soft pink of Eddie's bottom lip. “I don’t think I want to be mean.”
“I wouldn’t think so,” Eddie said. “Would you want someone to be mean to you?”
“Is it your turn yet?”
“Answer the question,” Eddie said. Still soft, but serious.
Steve rested his cheek on his knee. “I never thought about it.”
“Do you want to try?”
He shrugged in a stilted sort of way because he was all knotted around himself. “I’m not having sex right now.”
Eddie smiled. “I think the fundamentals will still be the same.”
“Okay.”
A pause. “Yeah?”
“Yes.”
A grin. aimed right at Steve. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, please.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you’re a natural.” The kick in his foot picked up again.
“Oh,” Steve said.
“Oh? That’s all.”
Steve hummed. Shook his head.
Eddie stretched a little. His back arched up, almost off the bed, and he tucked the arm that was behind Steve back under his head. “Get a little dumb, don’t you? Can’t even think at the mere mention of sex.”
Steve froze. “Not dumb.”
Eddie was the face of casual. “No? Then what are you?”
“What?” Steve asked.
“You suddenly seem to think you know best. What are you?”
Steve couldn’t think of anything. Didn’t know if he even understood the question.
“Um.”
“Um?”
“I’m Steve.”
Eddie laughed. Not light and playful with a big smile like usual, it sounded mean, like he was making fun of Steve.
Steve was hard. Shit.
“I guess you're pretty enough, though, aren't you?”
Steve felt all squirmy inside. Held himself together.
Eddie watched him lazily. “You don't even have to know do you? Pretty enough and dumb enough that men probably line the block to tell you what you are.”
“That doesn't happen.” Steve whispered.
“No? That's sad, isn't it, sweetheart? A whore with nobody to give it to him.”
“Fuck, Eddie.”
Like a flipped switch he was back to easy and playful. “Yeah?”
Steve nodded. Didn’t know if he could talk yet.
Eddie smiled. “Some people don't like the whore bit, but I ran with the Hawkins high rumors a little.”
Steve swallowed, felt like his mouth was full of too much spit. “Not anymore.”
Eddie's head tilted again. A moments pause. “You're not a whore anymore?”
Steve shook his head.
“Do you want to be?”
He cleared his throat. “You make it sound nice.”
Eddie laughed. “Jesus Christ, sweetheart. I can make it sound nicer.”
“How?” Steve whispered.
“Oh, princess, you have no idea.”
Of what? Steve had no clue. “Please?”
“Shit, okay.” Eddie tilted his head all the way back, like he was stretching his neck, or something. His eyes closed for a second. And then they were heavy on Steve.
“Thank you,” Steve said.
“Where'd you learn your pretty manners, sweetheart?”
“Dunno.”
Eddie hummed. “Comes easy, huh? You were made for it.”
“Made for what?”
Eddie smiled sweetly. It was too sweet, maybe. “Being sweet to get dick.”
“I, um.”
“Um?”
“Yes.”
Eddie's lower lip puffed out a little. a fake pout. “Get a little too dumb for it, though, don't you? I don't know if I could trust you all alone out there, princess. Someone might take advantage of you.”
“I'm not alone.”
A smile. “You aren't, are you?”
“Safe with you.”
“Safe with daddy, huh?”
Steve whined maybe. It was something like that. Soft and stuck in his throat. He clutched the fabric in his hands and tugged his legs into himself tight. “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes daddy.”
“Fuck,” Eddie said. “Fuck, sorry. I'm like three seconds from hard, Steve.”
“M'so hard.” Steve whsipered.
A long exhale from Eddie. “Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
And he watched it happen. Slowly, like a fever dream. He looked down Eddie's body and could see the dark outline of his dick grow bigger and bigger. It wasn't quite a moan, the sound he made. Maybe.
Eddie knew he was watching. “You want-”
“More.”
“Just talking? Or you wanna cum?”
“If you want me to.”
“Fuck. Yeah, okay. Fuck, sweetheart.” Then he kicked up and turned and was on his knees, facing Steve. Hovering over him. Dick hard and big and so close to Steve's shins. “Oh you gorgeous, gorgeous boy. You're going to be so sweet for daddy aren't you?”
“Yes daddy”
“Good boy. Do you like when daddy calls you names, princess? When he makes fun of you for getting dumb when you want to be touched?”
“So much.”
Eddie reached out to run his hands through Steve's hair. His nails across his scalp made Steve shiver.
“So sensitive, big boy.” He grabbed a fist full of hair at the crown of Steve's head. Steve gasped. “How long have you been waiting for someone to touch you?”
Steve shrugged.
“Uh uh, that's not the game is it, baby?” Eddie asked. He sat up higher on his knees. Shuffled closer to Steve.
Steve shook his head. “Um.”
“Um?”
“Think about touching you a lot.”
“Yeah?”
“When we smoke.”
Eddie hummed. “I can tell.” He leaned for forward just a little, tightened his fist, and covered heat of his dick brushed Steve's shin.
“Huh?”
Eddie laughed. Tugged Steve's head back so he was looking up at him. “Are you even listening, princess? I said I can tell you want to touch me when you're high. You stare.”
“Embarrassing,” Steve whispered. Eddie's dick was so hot.
“I've wanted to touch you for years.”
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, of course, sweetheart. Look how pretty you are. Who wouldn't want to touch you?” He was hovering over Steve. Looking down at him. Steve felt so, so small.
He moaned. “Will you?”
“Will I what?”
“Will you touch me, daddy?”
“You mean how am I going to stop once I start, right?”
Steve maybe whined. “Please.”
“I said I'll touch you, sweetheart. A little patience, please.” But he looked thrilled. Not like the weird sounds Steve was making were annoying or uncomfortable, he looked like he was trying to figure out how to make Steve make more of them.
“Okay, daddy.”
“You're gunna kill me,” Eddie mumbled, mostly to himself. “I'm not gunna survive this.”
Steve wanted to say please again. Thought about patience.
“That's the look, isn't it, sweetheart?” He tapped Steve's chin. “Open”
Steve did.
“You look at me like you want me so bad you can't keep it all inside.”
Steve whined again. Saw the uptick in Eddie's lips. Steve nodded.
“I know, babydoll. I know.” Eddie rubbed his thumb across Steve's chin and the hand in his hair got tighter.
Steve's breath hitched.
“Don't move.”
He tugged Steve's head down so that Steve had to let go of his knees and lean forward to get down far enough.
Then Eddie leaned forward, directly above Steve, and spit.
If it was at all possible to feel things that barely even touched you in your dick, Steve did.
Eddie tapped the underside of his chin with the back of his fingers. “Swallow.”
Steve did. Maybe moaned his way through it. His legs fell into a criss cross and he rubbed his palms on his knees as he watched Eddie.
“Mm, you’re fucking disgusting, huh?” Eddie said.
Panting. Steve was panting. “Eddie.” Burning up all over.
Eddie hummed. Let go of Steve’s hair to scratch gently against his scalp. Steve nuzzled into the touch like a cat.
“Why don’t you lay down. Let daddy see you.” His hand dropped to Steve’s shoulder and pushed hard enough that Steve fell back with a huff. “Perfect boy, thank you.”
Eddie manhandled Steve’s legs out on either side of him, his thighs resting on Eddie’s knees. “There you go, baby. You look so cozy. Like a spoiled little princess.”
Steve nodded. Wondered if he’d made Nancy feel even remotely like this when he hovered over her. Doubted it. “I am, daddy.”
“Yeah, sweetheart? Getting everything you want?”
Steve hummed. Nodded. He stretched his arms up above his head. Maybe Eddie would lean up over him. Grab his hands and push them down into the pillow to hold Steve still. Hopefully. “Can I, um?” Steve didn’t even know what he was saying.
Eddie’s eyes were on him, intense. “What do you need?”
“Mm mm,” Steve shook his head. “Um, I just want what you want.”
“You just want what I want?”
“Mhm, what Daddy wants.”
Eddie was biting at his lower lips. His hands dropped to Steve’s thighs and he ran hot, heavy patterns up and down the lengths of them. He laughed, but it was disbelief more than anything. “It’s like you were made for me.”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “Made for you.” He squeezed his thighs around Eddie’s knees. “Obsessed with you.”
“God, the feeling is so, so mutual. I wish you could see yourself right now.” He pressed hard into Steve’s thighs. “A whole goddamn dream come true.” He squeezed, ran his hands all the way down Steve’s thighs, until he hit the crease of his legs. He dug into with his thumbs and Steve arched up with a moan. “Fuck, baby, you’re so needy.”
“Been hard forever,” Steve said.
Eddie grinned. “Really, princess? Daddy can’t even tell.”
Steve arched up again, but Eddie pushed his hips back down with a grunt. “Impatient boy.”
“Daddy. I’m so-”
“What, princess? You look fine to Daddy.”
There was no way. No no no way. Steve whined. Glared at Eddie.
It just made him laugh.
“You said you're hard, baby? Are you sure?”
Steve looked down, could clearly see his dick, tried to arch up again to prove it but Eddie was holding him down firmly. He looked at Eddie’s sweats. Oh. “Oh, fuck.”
Another laugh.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
“Daddy’s hard.”
“Duh, baby.”
Steve hummed. Shook his head. “Big. Daddy’s big.”
“Silly boy, daddy’s not any bigger than anyone else.”
“Me,” Steve whispered.
Eddie shuffled forward just a little, so that the heat of their dicks, the weight of them, were pressed right up against each other.
Steve gasped.
“Little bit, huh?”
“Eddie,” Steve said. “Fuck.”
“Mm,” Eddie hummed, ground his hips forward to rub them together. “What do you want, princess?”
“Anything you want.”
Eddie hummed again. Stared down at Steve, just casually rubbing them together. “Any hard no’s?”
Steve blinked. Tried to think of something. Anything. “Um?”
“Um?”
“No stopping,” Steve said.
Eddie laughed. Head thrown back, hair wild. Cheeks pink, eyes bright. He was breathtaking.
“I’ll make you a deal.” He said.
“A deal?”
“Yeah, sweetheart, a deal.”
“What kind of deal.”
“I’ll touch you, just like I promised. But if you stop talking, I stop touching.”
“What?” Steve said. “Talk about what?”
“Anything, baby.”
“Anything?”
“Mhm.” Eddie’s hands were sliding up to Steve’s waistband.
“Okay,” Steve said. He nodded. “Okay, I can do it.”
“Good boy.”
“Will you take your shirt off, though?” Steve whispered.
“My shirt?”
“Please?”
“Sweet boy,” Eddie said. He sat up, and the shirt was gone in an instant. “You ready?” And then his hot palms were back on Steve’s hips.
“You’re so hot,” Steve whispered. All of him felt like he was on fire. He thought he might melt a hole in Eddie’s mattress with how hot he felt all over. “Everything about you makes me feel dizzy.”
Eddie was watching Steve, the corner of his mouth hitched just a little, like what he was hearing was unexpected.
In his pause, Eddie’s hands stopped moving. “Um,” he started. “When we smoke I feel like it’s under my skin, how aware of you I am. I just want to touch you and I can’t help it and it burns all over inside of me like my skin’s trying to make room for you to live in there with me.”
Eddie was pulling the fabric of Steve’s sweats and boxers down. Letting the elastic drag heavy across his dick.
Steve gasped as his dick slapped heavy against his stomach.
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god, you’re just so pretty. It’s not fair. I try to look at the stars and the trees and the sky and you’re there and you’re so pretty and my dick’s so hard it hurts.” There was a thumb pressed against the underside of his balls. A slow, steady sweep across the sensitive skin.
“You get hard when you smoke?” Eddie’s voice was rough, like he hadn’t spoken in years instead of just a few minutes.
“With you,” Steve said. A hand wrapped around his balls and another around the base of his dick. And Eddie’s eyes were almost black as he stared at Steve.“Oh, please, please, please. Fuck. Only with you. I get hard and I sit there and can’t think and you’re so smart and so interesting and so pretty when you talk and you lick your lips sometimes, when your mouths dry and, fuck, I want to instead. ”
A smile, and Eddie stroked up Steve’s dick once.
“Oh, god, no, you can’t.” Steve was shaking his head now, brain empty. “No, no, you can’t. You have to stop.”
“You know how to get me to stop, sweetheart.”
“No! No. No. I don’t know. Please.”
The strokes were slow. They’d never get Steve off if he was alone touching himself, but he felt so close. So, so close.
“Fuck and your tattoos, and your scars, so hot. Like mine.” He didn’t speed up, kept a too slow, too steady rhythm that Steve couldn’t stop himself from jerking up into.
Eddie tilted his head. “Like yours?”
“Match daddy,” Steve said. He felt like he’d be thrashing around if Eddie would let him. He was being good. “Being good,” he said. Eddie smiled. “Scars match, we match.” He reached down to yank up the hem of his shirt.
He looked down at their stomachs, there, together, both pink and raw looking. Rough, jagged skin knit in knots back together. The same. “Can I cum, please?”
Eddie sounded breathless. “Yeah, princess. Cum for me.”
The hand on Steve’s balls trekked up his body to press hard into Steve’s side. His bat bites. “We’re exactly the same, aren’t we, sweetheart?”
Steve came. And came and came. And it felt like forever and he couldn’t breathe, and he was talking, he felt it, but he didn’t know what he was saying. And Eddie stared down at him, gnawing on his own bottom lip, watching Steve, and he couldn’t look away, he forced his eyes open so he could watch Eddie watch him cum.
Steve was shaking. His whole body was in spasms and wouldn’t stop and he didn’t care. He felt so, so good. “Daddy, too,” he heard himself say. “Please, please, daddy too. I’ll do anything.”
Eddie was shuffling up, tugging the waistband of his own pants down and tucking it under his balls. His hand was wet with Steve’s cum, and he wiped the back of it on his own dick before grabbing himself in a fist.
So big, so much darker and swollen than Steve’s. Uncut, and leaking. Steve moaned loud.
“Just keep talking for me, princess. Don’t stop talking.”
“So hard,” Steve whispered. Feeling somehow shy again now that he’d cum. “Wet for me.”
Eddie grunted.
“Want it all over me,” Steve said.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm, all over me.”
Eddie’s hand worked fast. A tight fist, the slap of wet skin loud and vulgar in the room.
“All over me,” Steve said. “Daddy’s gunna cum all over my dick. Messy, we’re so messy.” He looked up at Eddie’s face and gasped. He was staring at Steve, looking him in the eye, his own dark, his brows furrowed. His hair and eyes dark against the soft pale of his skin. He couldn’t be real. There was no way.
“You’re beautiful,” Steve said. Eyes on Eddie’s. “So beautiful. Like I can never look away, I can never stop looking at you because I’ll miss something. I’ll miss a minute of you being too perfect and I can’t. I can’t miss you.”
Eddie’s eyelids drooped. He looked down at his dick in his fist and then back up to Steve.
“I’ve wanted you for so long, and now I get to have you,” Steve said. He was still shaking. His whole body was, and he could hear it in his voice. It didn’t matter.
Eddie bit down on his own lip hard. Too hard maybe.
“Cum on me, Daddy,” he said. “I’m all yours. I’ve never been anyone else’s as much as I’ve been yours. I think I was made for you. Just you. The universe knew you needed me and that’s what I’m here for, I’m sure of it.”
“Fuck Steve,” he looked back down and Steve felt him cum. It was hot, stripes streaking out across his stomach and up under his chin. Eddie grunted through it, his fists slowed, and his eyes were back on Steve’s. Fixed on him.
He was panting and hot and his skin burned where Steve was touching him and he was perfect and staring down at Steve like he was perfect too, and Steve couldn’t help himself, not really.
“Kiss me.”
Eddie fell forward, his hand catching him right next to Steve’s head. Steve slithered his own hand up under Eddie’s and laced their fingers together and Eddie pressed his weight down into their hands.
He laughed one breathless puff of air that Steve felt across his whole face and then pressed in to kiss him.
He kissed like he jerked off. Hot and wet and rough and Steve felt drowned in it. In teeth and tongues and the way Eddie felt like he was trying to crawl into Steve’s body through his throat.
His body weight dropped down onto Steve’s and he squeezed around Steve’s fingers tight as be practically gnawed his way into him.
Steve couldn’t breathe. Didn’t need to. Was drowning in Eddie.
Eddie pulled back a little, just enough to let his eyes run across Steve’s face. Steve panted. Was maybe shaking even harder now.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”