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So it went like this. Bruce had a business meeting with Ollie in Seattle. Bruce told Hal about it one weekend in bed. Hal hadn't seen Ollie in awhile. Bruce saw right through Hal's verbal fumbling and asked him if he wanted to tag along. One "hell fucking yeah!" reigned into something a little more normal and Bruce had booked him a ticket. Okay, seeing Ollie was great but why was Hal so goddamn enthusiastic about it?
The answer to that question came two and a half weeks later on Seattle's picturesque dock. Hal had had some weird need to just go out there and stare at the ocean being all giant and shit. Bruce indulged him. That elusive answer? Feelings. Getting them. Nice fluffy feelings. Which wasn't supposed to happen. But as they stood there, the cold ocean air seeping through his jacket, Hal just wanted to hold Bruce's hand. Bruce was just standing there, staring at the waves, looking all thoughtful and shit. He wasn't doing anything but Hal was getting this fluffy-ass feeling. And he couldn't shut it down.
After another few minutes of standing there, Hal's better judgement fails. Losing out to that rough feeling that's crawling under his hand, Hal tries to take Bruce's hand. It's not even an interlaced finger full feeling handholding. Just a your-hand-in-mine kinda thing. But Bruce still shakes Hal off. His throat tightening, Hal chances a quick look at Bruce's face. A little tightening around his jaw and eye is the only evidence of what just happened. Hal wonders if his own face is betraying the feeling that his heart is shrinking a little bit. Pulling in on itself like some sort of cardiac fetal curl. Well sorry, blood beater, that's not going to help against the realization of what you are to this man. Hal swallows a sigh and tries to accept it. The "it" being the fact that even though Bruce and Hal are far away from Gotham, Hal doesn't get to forget what he is. No one recognizes either of them, hell no one in this city has ever heard of Hal, but he can't forget he's just a fuck. Just a friends with benefits fuck. Or, he guesses, colleagues with benefits. They're not actually friends. It still hurts like a goddamn sonuvabitch.
Caught up in his spiraling angstapalooza, Hal doesn't notice Bruce. He doesn't notice Bruce squeezing his eyes shut like thinking hurts. Doesn't notice him flexing the hand Hal tried to hold like something is seeping into his skin. For the first time in a long time, Hal doesn't notice Bruce Wayne being Bruce Wayne. And yes, Hal is willing to finally come to terms with the fact he watches Bruce. He's mature. Hal keeps not noticing Bruce right up until he feels a hand in his. Oh yeah, Hal notices that. He notices the shit out of that. He also notices the shit out of the fact Bruce went for the full interlaced feeling handhold. Holy shit.
Snapping his head around to look at Bruce, Hal's neck actually pops. It hurts. A lot. The corner of Bruce's mouth quirks up in one of his near smiles in response. And for you non-Bruce watchers sitting at home, that's a toothy grin from any normal person. Hal did that. Hal made Bruce smile over his neckscapade. Nice.
"Can't sneak stuff like that up on me like that, Jordan," Bruce says in a quiet voice before Hal can say anything. It takes a second but Hal figures it out. You can't sneak affection up on Bruce Wayne. Affection...well it hadn't been a thing they did before. It had just been sex. Feelings ignored in favor of orgasms. So this hadn't been an issue. It was so ridiculous, Hal kind of wanted to laugh. Which would be bad, y'know, timing wise. Hal figured he was just a casual fuck but it was just that Bruce Wayne shakes off affection like a moody cat. Or a neglected cat that never held hands before. Held paws? Whatever. Either way it was sad.
So Hal does the only thing that comes to mind. He meets Bruce's eyes and gives him a little 'it's okay, I get it and I don't mind' smile and hopes that's enough. Bruce's face softens a bit, so maybe it does. He doesn't seem to mind when Hal moves in closer, either, so it worked.
"Aw, spooky," Hal murmurs, "We suck at this."
Bruce's mouth quirks up at the corner again, so Hal's gonna count this as a win. After all, they're just two dudes no one knows looking out over a harbor and being cold. They'll figure it out.