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Dylan heard it in passing. A whispered conversation among the group, too casual to be of much importance, except it was. Thame and Po were official now. Together. After months of dancing around each other’s feelings. Dylan should have been happy for them, proud of his friends. But then it hit him like a freight train. If Thame and Po were together, then Jun had been rejected.
In some sick, twisted way that he wouldn’t admit to anyone, Dylan felt a sense of relief. Because if Jun had been rejected, then maybe, just maybe, he still had a chance with him. Maybe Jun would finally realize what was right in front of him. Dylan quickly shook his head, dismissing the thought. That wasn’t going to happen. Because Jun didn’t see him that way. Not like that.
Jun was conflicted. He had done it. He had successfully pushed Thame and Po to confess their feelings, and yet… he couldn’t shake the bitter feeling that had settled in his chest. He should be happy. He should feel proud, but there was something gnawing at him. Jealousy? No, that couldn’t be it. Jealous of Thame? Absolutely not. It wasn’t Thame he was jealous of, it was what Thame had that he didn’t. A love that was reciprocated.
Jun let his gaze flicker over to Dylan. Dylan, whose presence had been a constant in his life since their trainee days. Dylan, whose sharp wit and brashness were always enough to make Jun laugh or want to strangle him. Dylan, who didn’t have the faintest idea of how much Jun had been in love with him. All these years, and Dylan was still oblivious.
Jun had tried, tried so hard, to forget. He’d distracted himself with Po, but it never worked. Po was too soft, too shy. Jun had tried to convince himself that he liked him, but deep down, Po was never Dylan. Dylan was fire and sass, and Jun was always drawn to the way he’d effortlessly get under his skin. Dylan was everything that was impossible to ignore.
One day, Jun thought, one day, this feeling would pass. But not today. Not with Dylan standing so close.
When Jun passed him in the hallway, Dylan couldn’t ignore it. The usual fire in Jun’s eyes was gone. His shoulders were slumped in a way that made Dylan’s stomach tighten. Jun wasn’t himself. It made Dylan feel… guilty. It made him feel something that he wasn’t ready to name.
He followed Jun, unable to leave things the way they were. Jun had just closed his bedroom door when Dylan knocked lightly, but not before lingering for a moment.
“Come in,” came Jun’s voice, hoarse and tired.
Dylan stepped inside, hesitating as if he had no business being there. “Are you okay?”
Jun frowned, looking at him like he’d grown another head. “What are you on about?”
Dylan swallowed thickly before speaking. “Thame and Po. Are you okay?”
Jun’s lips curled into his signature smirk, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Aww, are you worried about me?” he teased, but there was no mirth in it.
Dylan rolled his eyes. “Never mind.” He turned to walk away, but Jun’s voice stopped him.
“I’m fine.” The words were a low growl, but they felt empty.
Dylan pivoted, arms crossed over his chest. “Sure, because ‘fine’ looks a whole lot like a dead man walking.”
Jun clenched his jaw, his frustration building as he struggled to keep his cool. “It’s none of your business, Dylan.”
Dylan scoffed, a slight edge to his voice. “Oh, it’s definitely my business. You’ve been dragging your feet around here like a sad puppy ever since you heard the news. You’re not fooling anyone. Especially not me.”
Jun snapped, the tension in his shoulders flaring. “Because you know all about me, don’t you, Dylan?”
A silence stretched between them, thick with unsaid words. Dylan felt the urge to push Jun again, to deflect the knot of unease forming in his chest. But this time, he didn’t want to. He couldn’t do it. Not when he saw the way Jun’s eyes darted away, hiding something – something raw.
“Just leave it,” Jun muttered, lying back on his bed, eyes closing. “I’m not in the mood. You acting like you care just makes it worse.”
Dylan stood there for a moment, watching Jun’s shoulders rise and fall with a breath. But something in him broke. The calm was an illusion, and Dylan couldn’t ignore it any longer. He took a step forward. “You know what’s pathetic?” Dylan’s voice cut sharper than he’d meant it to, all steel over something shakier. “It’s how you just gave up on your feelings for Po. Like, you didn’t even try. You’re sitting here pretending it doesn’t matter, like you can just bottle it all up and wait for it to disappear!” His fists clenched at his sides. “You should’ve fought. Said something. Anything. But you didn’t. You just let it go.”
The words came fast, biting, but somewhere between his tongue and his heart, they twisted. Because maybe he wasn’t just talking about Jun. Maybe it was himself he was angry at. For keeping quiet all these years, for watching Jun look elsewhere, for being too afraid to ruin everything by wanting more.
“You don’t just walk away from someone you love,” Dylan muttered, barely above a whisper. “You don’t.”
Jun’s eyes snapped open. “I didn’t love him.”
Dylan blinked. “What?”
Jun sat up, rubbing his hands over his face like he was dragging the truth out of himself. “I didn’t have feelings for Po. Not really. It was never about that.”
Dylan’s brows furrowed. “Then what was it?”
Jun sighed. “It was about Thame and Po. I saw how they looked at each other when they thought no one was watching. I knew they’d never say anything unless someone pushed them. So I stepped in. I spent time with Po, made it look like something it wasn’t… because I knew it’d force them to figure out what they really wanted.”
He looked at Dylan then, eyes tired but steady. “It worked.”
Dylan scoffed, crossing his arms. “Yeah, right. You don’t have to make up a story to save face. Trying to play the hero. It’s pathetic, Jun.”
That did it.
Jun’s hand shot out, grabbing Dylan by the collar and yanking him forward with surprising strength. Their faces were inches apart. Jun’s breath was shaky, his voice trembling with years of pent-up frustration. “I’ve been in love with you this whole time, you idiot! That’s what’s pathetic.”
Dylan froze. His heart hammered in his chest, his mind racing. Jun’s confession hung in the air like an electric charge. For a second, all Dylan could do was blink, processing the words.
Jun’s gaze dropped to Dylan’s lips, and before Dylan could even fully comprehend what was happening, Jun was kissing him.
It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t gentle. It was desperate, filled with years of longing that neither of them had dared to voice. Dylan startled at first, his brain struggling to catch up with what was happening. But then, like something clicked, his mind cleared and he kissed Jun back, the heat of their lips a silent promise they couldn’t make with words.
When they broke apart, their breaths ragged, Dylan’s voice was hoarse. “You love me?”
Jun’s eyes were dark, intense. “You heard me.”
Dylan didn’t wait for a second invitation. He grabbed Jun by the back of his neck, pulling him into another kiss, this one just as frantic, just as desperate. The world outside the room ceased to exist. There was only this – only them.