Chapter Text
“Your room’s right through there,” Robin said, bringing up the last of his boxes. She put it down on the pile and tossed herself down on the couch.
Steve nodded, leaning against one of the many piles of his things. He didn’t even realize he had this much stuff until he packed up his place. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”
Robin gave him a sympathetic look. “Please, you know you’re always welcome here.”
“Yeah but, I’ll probably be here a while,” he said sheepishly.
“Stay forever,” she said with a smile. “I’m not kicking you out anytime soon.”
His heart swelled as he sat beside her. “Thanks. It still doesn’t feel real.” It didn’t. He thought he and Eddie would be together forever. They just didn’t want the same things, and Steve was getting to the point in his life where he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time– or have his wasted. Breaking up was the hardest decision they ever made.
She took his hand, squeezing it. “Have you two talked at all?”
He shook his head. “Nope.” There was nothing for them to talk about. Eddie wanted to travel, an eternal nomad. Steve wanted to establish roots, start a family. There wasn’t a compromise either of them felt comfortable with, so they ended things. There was no way forward.
“Any luck finding a place to work? I know you said you were looking before you moved out here,” she asked.
“No. I have some applications out, but I haven’t heard anything yet,” he said honestly. In fairness, he probably should have submitted some more applications. With everything going on, his applying had been sporadic at best. “I plan to go door to door to some local businesses tomorrow.”
“You might not have to,” Robin said. “My editor is looking for another model to help out. The last guy moved out west. You’d be really helping us out. It doesn’t have to be anything long term if you don’t want it to be. It could help you get some extra cash while you get settled.”
That got his attention. As nice as it was that Robin wasn’t charging him rent yet, he definitely needed to start saving. He wanted to be able to contribute to the household, and he wasn’t about to ask his parents for help– not that they’d give it anyway. They made it clear that he wasn’t welcome to come around once he moved in with Eddie.
Still. He wasn’t sure about modeling. He knew he was good looking in terms of Indiana, but to be in a catalog. What if he wasn’t good at it? He didn’t want that to reflect poorly on Robin. “I don’t know… modeling….”
She lightly hit him with a pillow. “What are you implying?”
“Nothing,” he said with a laugh. “I’m just not sure I’d be good at it.”
“Steve, it’s a local catalog. It’s not exactly a fashion publication. You just try on clothes and pose the way they ask you to. It’s not rocket science. I’m only doing it to pay for school. I promise you’ll do great,” she said.
He didn’t exactly have any other options. “I guess I can give it a try. You promise they won’t give you a hard time if I suck at it?”
“Yeah,” she said dismissively. “We’re helping them out in a pinch. If it doesn’t work out, they’ll pay you for the shoot and look for someone else.”
It was tempting. He wasn’t really established in any particular field, just moving from retail job to food service job to odd jobs. This could just be another job to add to his ever growing resume. “Why not? It could be fun.”
“I’ll let my boss know,” she said.
Steve felt a wave of adoration for her. He wasn’t sure what he did to deserve a friend like Robin. Not only had she opened her home to him, but she was already going above and beyond to help him get back on his feet. A friend like that was rare. He knew he was lucky.
“Thanks again for all this,” he said, leaning his head on her shoulder.
“You don’t ever have to thank me,” she said softly. “You do , however, need to get these boxes out of my living room.”
He snorted. “Yeah, fair enough.” Steve got up off the couch stretching a bit. He sighed as he walked over to the boxes, grabbing two at a time and walking into the spare room. It was a bit smaller than Steve remembered, but it was perfect. He was one person now– he didn’t need room for Eddie’s things. Not anymore.
It was bizarre, moments like this. He’d forget for a moment that they weren’t together anymore. He wanted to call him, to reach out–beg him to reconsider, but that wasn’t fair. They’d been trying to solve this conundrum for months and reached an impasse. There was no resolving this, no matter how much it hurt the both of them to admit.
In honesty, that was the worst part of it. He couldn’t even be mad at him. Not in any way that mattered. He couldn’t blame Eddie for not budging on what he wanted, when Steve wasn’t willing to either. Eddie deserved to travel the world. His music had taken off a bit, nothing crazy, but enough to go on a few smaller tours. They were given the opportunity to tour internationally, and Eddie couldn’t pass that opportunity up– and Steve couldn’t follow him.
Steve unpacked, there were a few things of Eddie’s that had made their way along the journey. It couldn’t be helped. Steve was sure he’d left some things behind. They’d agreed to let those things go. It was easier than trying to swap things back and forth. In honesty, if they’d swapped anything, it probably wasn’t that important to begin with. It didn’t make it easier seeing them as he unpacked his boxes. Steve should have thrown them out, he just couldn’t bring himself to part with them just yet. He put them in an empty box and stuck it in the back of the closet. At least this way he wouldn’t have to look at them.
It took him a remarkably short amount of time to unpack. It was likely due to him purging a lot of items before the move. Going from having the full run of an apartment to renting a room was humbling. He made sure to get rid of a lot of things before the move. Still, he thought he’d have more to unpack. It was better, though– less things for him to worry about. He could always acquire more things as he stayed around.
He tossed himself down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling fan. He never imagined this would be where he was at this point in his life. He was in his early thirties, he wanted to have his own home, a partner, maybe some kids– in some capacity. He didn’t want to start over.
There was a knock on the door. Robin poked her head into the room. She saw him laying down and gave him a sad smile. She laid down next to him, resting her head against his. “I ordered a pizza. If you’re hungry.”
He wasn’t. Not really. “Maybe in a little while.”
“Okay,” she said quietly, not moving from her spot beside him.
“I can’t believe it’s over,” he said softly. His eyes were stinging, he could feel the tears starting to well. He kept them at bay, he’d already cried enough over all this. “I thought it was forever.”
“Me too,” she said gently. “I think he did too. I can call him, if you want–”
“No,” he said. “I don’t think that’ll be good for either of us.” It wouldn’t be. Steve had already been through hell packing up the place. He knew that if there was any chance for them to salvage things, they would have already had that conversation. Things were over.
She gripped his hand again. “Well, it’s not the same, but I promise we’re forever. You and me… there’s no breaking us apart. I’d like to see an army try.”
There was something comforting in that. He never doubted the fact that he and Robin would have each other forever, but hearing her say it meant more than he could have imagined. After everything, it was nice to hear that she wasn’t going anywhere. She was the only thing that he could count on for ‘forever.’ It was more than enough.
“Yeah, ditto,” he said. “They’ll have to tear half the world apart–”
“The whole world,” she corrected, a soft smile on her lips. “You’re gonna get through this.”
He nodded. “I know. It doesn’t mean I want this.”
She frowned but didn’t argue. “I have to head to class tomorrow morning, and then I’ll give my boss a call. I’m sure she’ll want to see you before she offers a job, but it’ll be fine. You’re like way more good looking than like the last five guys she hired. Plus, your hair is already better than everyone else’s.”
“Oh, obviously,” he said with a dejected laugh. “It could be fun, working together again.”
Robin grinned at him. “That’s what I’m saying! I won’t even be like work. It’ll be like the good old days– hocking ice cream, goofing off. It’s honestly the best possible outcome from all this.”
He hummed, letting himself just relax. It was nice–being back with her. Even though he’d never lived there before, it was a homecoming of sorts. Home was Robin, no matter the location.
“Come on,” she said as she hopped up off the bed. “The pizza’s getting cold, and you have to eat at least one slice.”
Steve groaned in protest as she grabbed his arms, and tugged.
“Steve,” she whined in frustration, continuing to pull at his arms. “Come on.”
He let out a dramatic sigh as he melted off the bed. He leaned against her as if he was boneless. It was mostly to mess with her, but he really didn’t want to get out of the bed. “ Fine .” He strung out the word as he stood up straight.
She led him into her kitchen. She fished out some plates from the cabinet, and placed them on the counter. She opened the cardboard box, and produced a knife, cutting a slice and putting it on a plate. The plate was thrust into his hand as she continued to cut another slice for herself.
“Let’s go,” she said, cocking her head in the direction of the living room. “My show’s on.”
“Robin, if it’s that damn soap opera you keep trying to get me to watch–” he began.
She shushed him. “Just give it a try. I’ll admit I was skeptical at first too, but sometimes it just helps to turn your brain off for an hour or so and watch some trash television. Besides, the main actress… I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful in my entire life. I’m telling you, she looks like some ethereal being gracing us mere mortals with her presence.”
Steve blinked at that. Only Robin could make finding someone hot sound poetic. “Yeah, right. Are you sure it’s not like the last time you said the girl in the toothpaste commercial was ‘celestial’ or some shit.”
She made a face. “I stand by that. She had this radiance about her. I’m telling you, you'll see. Unless you have some plans I don’t know about.”
He knew Robin well enough to know that she was teasing. Of course he didn’t have plans. “All right, Buckley.” He threw himself on the couch. “Let me see this ‘ethereal being’ you’re going on about.”
Robin grinned widely as she grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. Almost immediately, she began rambling about each character and their own side plots. Steve wasn’t really listening. He didn’t care about the show. He’d just forgotten how much he missed this. He was never moving that far from her again. There was only so much calling and letters could make up for. He needed nights like this– hanging out with Robin, listening to her chatter about things he didn’t really care much about.
“So what did you think?” Robin asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, I could hardly keep everyone straight. Which is the one you think is hot?”
She gave him a mortified look. “The absolute bombshell that was just on our screen for a half hour, dingus!” She chucked a handful of popcorn at his head.
Steve snickered as he shook the kernels from his hair, before grabbing a handful from her bowl. She swatted lightly against his shoulder as she rolled her eyes.
“Seriously, though,” Steve said as he shifted on the couch, getting comfortable against the cushions. “Was it the blonde or the redhead?”
“There is no redhead,” Robin said in horror. “The brunette is the absolute most gorgeous woman to ever walk the earth.”
He shrugged, a half smirk on his face. “I don’t know… I don’t really see it.”
She made a face, sticking her tongue out at him. “You just have no taste, I almost feel sorry for you.”
Steve scoffed. “I’m just saying… there are hotter babes.”
“Not possible, Harrington,” Robin said, shoving him slightly with her elbow. She let out a yawn, stretching a bit as she sat up. “I’m gonna head to bed. I have an early class, but I’ll swing by the office and talk to my editor after. If she’s interested, I’ll see if I can talk to someone about getting you some headshots….” Her voice trailed off. “Do you need anything? I showed you how the shower works and everything?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll probably head to bed soon too. It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll see you in the morning, dingus,” she said affectionately. She walked down the hall to her bedroom.
“Night,” Steve called after her. He turned off her television, and slunk back into his bedroom. It didn’t feel like his. He was sure he’d get used to it, but this whole situation sucked. Being with Robin was the only bright spot in this. Just spending a few hours with her made him feel just a bit better about everything. Nothing seemed so bad when he was with her.
He slipped his shirt off, tossing it into his hamper. He wandered into the bathroom to brush his teeth, he’d take a shower in the morning while Robin was in class. She’d done so much for him already, the last thing he wanted was to get in her way.
When he was done, he went back to the room. Sleep didn’t come easily. It didn’t come at all. He hadn’t slept at all since the breakup. He was hoping the move would tire him out enough so he could sleep a little bit.
It didn’t seem like he’d have much luck.
After a few hours of tossing and turning, he glanced over at the clock.
3 AM.
He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it, but he got out of bed. The floor was cool against his feet as he walked down the small hall to Robin’s room. He slowly opened the door, not wanting to wake her. He lay down on the bed next to her, gingerly placing an arm around her. They’d done this countless times back home when they were younger. He needed it, now more than ever.
She shifted a bit, grabbing onto his hand, and tugging him closer. “Night, Harrington.”
“Night,” he whispered. His eyes were heavy, and the cool breeze of her ceiling fan wafted against his face. He found himself drifting off to sleep for the first time in weeks.
Jonathan didn’t expect Robin Buckley to walk into his dark room that afternoon. Usually she’d visit the studio– in fact, he didn’t think she’d ever been inside the dark room before. Yet there he was, developing photos when the door swung open, light flooded the room– ruining his photos.
His head snapped to the door, seeing her standing in the entrance. He’d be pissed if he wasn’t so surprised to see her there. He liked Robin, she was cool. She didn’t expect him to be anything but who he was. That was rare.
“Sorry, sorry,” she said apologetically. She hastily closed the door, and tip-toed over to him. “I need a favor.”
That was new. Robin had never asked him for anything– except maybe a look at her shots. She’d sometimes ask for a certain shot to be left out or for one to make it to Nancy’s desk. Otherwise, she was the most low maintenance of the models he worked with.
“Everything okay?” He asked.
“Oh, yeah– no, nothing crazy,” she said. “It’s just, well you know my friend that I told you about? You know– the one who’s new in town, and is staying with me until he gets back on his feet. Well– I had this idea to get him to work with us– you know for the catalog. Nance agreed to meet with him, but… he kind of needs some headshots– by tomorrow. I’d seriously owe you! He’s just been having a tough time, and if he could get this job, it could help get him back on his feet a little. What do you say?”
He wanted to say no. Maybe he should have, but he liked Robin. He didn’t have many friends– especially at the catalog. He wasn’t in the position to be ostracizing one of the few people he kind of liked.
“Uh, yeah. Bring him by the studio. I’ll be here most of the night–”
“Great,” she said, clapping her hands together. “That’s perfect, because he’s waiting out there right now.”
Jonathan just hoped she couldn’t see the way his face fell in the red glow of the room. She could have at least waited to see if he agreed before bringing the guy around. “Uh, yeah. Give me a few minutes to finish up in here and I’ll be right out.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep himself calm.
“Thank you so much!” She exclaimed excitedly. She pointed over her shoulder with her thumbs, motioning to the door. “I’m gonna leave you to it.”
Jonathan didn’t respond. He watched her go, the light peeking into the room as she exited. He looked back at the photo he was working at and shook his head. There would be no salvaging it. He’d have to start from scratch.
All in all, it took him about twenty minutes to complete his work on the photos. He was pretty happy with how they turned out. As long as Nancy felt the same way, his work for next month’s catalog would be done. He’d have a few days off and then jump right into working on the following month.
He stepped out into the studio. Honestly, it was amazing that Nancy had even managed to find this place. There was a part of him that was pretty sure she commissioned the building of it. It was easier in the long run for her to just have one space for her photographers to work in, without needing to worry about them finding a suitable dark room and studio separately.
In the corner of the studio, he saw Robin’s friend looking around. He knocked over a book from the shelf, and hastily picked it up. He would do fine. Jonathan couldn’t imagine Nancy wouldn’t hire him. The guy was certainly attractive enough. So long as he didn’t ruin any of the clothes or equipment, there was no reason she shouldn’t hire him.
“Sorry for the wait. Just had to finish some things up,” he said. It was stupid. He really shouldn’t have been apologizing. It wasn’t like this was an appointment.
Robin turned from her place off to the side where she was admiring one of his photos. “We really appreciate you doing this.”
He nodded, wincing a bit. This wasn’t the type of thing he did typically. He didn’t mind helping people out, but he liked to have some sort of notice. At least then he could have had the backdrop and lighting prepared.
“Just give me a few more minutes to set everything up, and we can start,” he said, crossing the room to where he stored the lights.
Robin’s friend moved to her side, watching Jonathan closely. At least he wasn’t getting in his way. That was one small mercy in all this.
Fortunately, he still had the equipment readily accessible from the last shoot. Nancy had asked for some additional items to be added last minute and it was by sheer luck that Argyle was around to help model them. He adjusted the setup slightly, ensuring he had enough room to work.
He walked back over to where his camera bag was lying on the floor. He took out the camera and attached one of the lenses. Looking over his shoulder, he could see Robin and her friend watching him closely. They were almost mirror images of each other. That wasn’t to say they looked alike. No, but they were standing, almost posed, in the same fashion. Robin had her right arm bent up, hand covering her mouth slightly, leaning to her left,. The guy had his left arm bent, hand covering his mouth, leaning to his right.
Jonathan cleared his throat, motioning to the backdrop. “I can take a few standing first, and then some with you on a stool. Maybe some full body shots too, so Nancy has options.”
“That would be amazing,” Robin said, appreciation flooding through her voice.
The guy stepped forward, extending his hand. “Hey man, it’s good to meet you. I’m Steve. Thanks for doing this.”
Jonathan shook his hand weakly. “Jonathan,” he mumbled. He motioned towards the backdrop. “Stand as close to the center as possible. These first shots will be pretty zoomed in on just your face. First, we’ll try just a natural look. No smiling, no pouting, just stare right ahead at the camera.”
Steve nodded. He stared straight ahead. The shutter of the camera clicked as Jonathan took a few shots. He adjusted his angles, trying to get some variety. Steve’s eyes moved to the lens, looking directly at him. He had an uncertain look on his face as his head turned.
“You don’t have to move,” Jonathan said, not stopping taking the photos. “I’m just trying to capture some different angles.”
He glanced over at Robin with a confused look. Steve gave a nervous laugh as he shrugged. “Yeah, okay.”
Jonathan continued his work, walking around Steve taking photos. “Let’s try a few with a smile.”
Steve cleared his throat, nodding. “Uh– right, yeah. Sure.” He fidgeted a bit, smiling awkwardly.
Jonathan brought the camera down. “Sorry, just don’t try to force it.”
His face fell, nodding. “Right– yeah. No. Natural. I can do natural.” He grimaced, his face straining a bit.
It was almost like watching a kid on their first picture day. Jonathan wasn’t sure how he was supposed to model for a catalog if he couldn’t smile naturally on demand. Still, if Nancy was in a pinch they could go with some natural, non-expressive faces.
Robin walked over. “Just act like you’re talking to me,” she suggested. “Look at me, if it’s easier.”
Steve took a deep breath, nodding his head. “Yeah, all right.” He clapped his hands together before shaking them a bit. He clenched his jaw looking over at Robin. His demeanour changed almost immediately. He relaxed, smiling easily as Jonathan kept taking his photos. At least that worked.
Jonathan took a few more shots, before he paused. “Okay, I’m going to get more of your full body now. Just cross your arms, but not tightly. Just try and look relaxed. We’ll do a few with and without smiling.”
Steve fidgeted a big crossing his arms. He kept unfolding his arms and crossing them again. He was overthinking this.
“It’s no big deal,” Jonathan said, bringing the camera down. “Just relax your shoulders and place your hands against the crooks of your elbows.”
He sucked in a breath, following Jonathan’s directions. “Better?”
It was. He didn’t look like he was straining anymore. It was far more natural. “Yeah. It’s good.”
Jonathan walked around, taking more photos. He pulled the stool over. “Take a seat. We’ll do some pouting and some of you just looking over your shoulder and then I should be good to develop these for you.”
Steve sat down, looking up at Jonathan expectantly. “How do you want me?”
“Just try something a bit sadder. A frown or a pout. This way you’ll have a range,” Jonathan said.
Steve pouted exaggeratedly, his bottom lip protruding.
Jonathan blinked. “Yeah, that’s not–”
He snorted, wiping his face as he chuckled. The laughter continued as he looked up at Robin.
Jonathan’s face dropped. This was a complete waste of his time. This guy wasn’t even serious about this. He was probably just going to do one shoot and they’d never see him again. These shots would be for nothing. He looked over his shoulder at Robin.
She winced. “Steve, come on–”
“I’m sorry,” he said, catching his breath. “I’m sorry. I just feel a little ridiculous.”
Jonathan’s brow furrowed as he let out a disapproving sigh. It was ridiculous. Ridiculous that he was wasting his time with this. He had actual work to do, but instead he was taking photos of Robin’s friend as a favor.
Robin rubbed her forehead. “Steve, just…frown and protrude your lip a little bit.”
Jonathan shook his head. He wasn’t going to waste any more time on this than necessary. “No, it’s fine. We’ll just do a different pose,” he said curtly.
Steve raised his eyebrows momentarily, almost mockingly. “ Okay ,” he said, stringing the word out too long.
Jonathan’s eyes narrowed. “Turn around on the stool and just look over your shoulder.”
A pompous smile appeared on Steve’s face as he turned around. He took a breath and looked over his shoulder. He managed to keep a straight face. At least that would make Jonathan’s life easier.
He took the last few photos, eager to be done with this. “All right, I think I’ve got enough. Just give me some time to develop them. Make yourselves comfortable, and I’ll bring them out when they’re ready.”
“Thank you so much!” Robin said again. “We’ll just hang out here while you work.”
He gave a tight smile as he took the film out of the camera. He slipped into the darkroom, grateful for the privacy. Working on the photos was almost nicer than taking them. He didn’t need to worry about the models when he was developing.
Jonathan took his time, he wasn’t in a rush to get back to Robin’s and her friend. This was a favor– a last minute one at that. They could be patient.
After about an hour he was done. There were so many shots to choose from and develop. He might not have wanted to do this job, but he was gonna do it right. He stacked the photos nicely and stuck them in one the manila envelopes he typically used for Nancy. He didn’t want any of these to get bent if he could avoid it.
Jonathan took a deep breath as he stepped back out into the studio. “I made sure you have plenty of options to choose from.” It wasn’t exactly out of the goodness of his heart. He was really hoping that he wouldn’t have to take headshots for Steve again. He extended his arm, offering the envelope up to Steve.
Robin swiftly grabbed it first, and opened it. She eagerly went through the photos excitedly, waving them over to Steve when one caught her eyes. “These are so great. Thank you so much for doing this.”
He gave a tight smile, glancing down at the floor. “Don’t mention it.”
“We’ll let you get back to work,” Robin said. She cocked her head towards the door, motioning for Steve to start walking towards it. “I’ll see you soon– or hopefully we’ll see you soon.”
“Get home safe,” he said lamely. He never was good at small talk.
Robin gave him an appreciative smile as she ducked out the door behind Steve. Jonathan groaned as he sat down on the stool. His palms were pressed tightly against his temples. He hated to admit it, but he really hoped Robin’s friend didn’t get the job. He seemed fine . It wasn’t a personality thing. Jonathan didn’t care for most people, Steve was no different. No, this was about how hard a time he had with simple poses. Granted, Nancy never wanted anything too crazy.
It also just irked him the way he seemed to be taking this so lightly. This was far from the type of work Jonathan envisioned for himself but the job was important to him. It wasn’t that he cared much about the catalog itself, but it was a good steady job. He was able to pay his rent, save some money, and send his mom and Will extra cash. He wasn’t going to let anyone jeopardize that.
He walked back over where he had set up the backdrop and lights. Jonathan meticulously put it all away, not eager for anything to get ruined or misplaced. He looked back at the other envelope– the one with proofs to show Nancy. He just hoped these would be what she was looking for. The last thing he wanted was to rush more photos. He’d had a long enough day.
Jonathan sighed as he shrugged his jacket on and grabbed the folder. He clicked off the lights, and walked out of the studio. He locked up behind him and yawned. One last stop, Nancy.