Chapter Text
The thick, coppery stench of blood permeated the air, stinging his nose. Loud and hysterical screams rang out from somewhere in the distance and he covered his ears, desperately trying to keep them away, but to no avail.
He squeezed his eyes shut, curling in on himself in the already tight and suffocating space, fighting back the urge to whimper and scream and cry, trying to follow the one instruction he had been given.
Stay here and stay quiet.
Lan Yuan bolted upright in bed, his chest heaving.
He vaguely registered a voice from right beside him, somewhat familiar, but he didn't have the presence of mind to figure out why.
He needed to be somewhere else - anywhere else. He couldn't wait there anymore. He needed to get away. Get away from that terror and those screams.
He clambered out of the bed, pushing past the person, breaking into a run. He didn't know where he was going - just that it needed to be away.
It had just rained that evening, so the ground was slick and muddy, causing his already unsteady footing to grow even more so. He slipped, barely even registering the pain as he caught himself with his hands, standing back up and continuing the way he had been heading.
He wasn't sure how long he ran before he came to a tree that had branches low enough for his five year old arms to reach, not hesitating as he grabbed hold to one of them.
He hauled himself up, single-minded in his effort to climb as high as he could, going until the branches couldn't support his weight any longer. Even still, they were thin enough to start swaying with the slightest of breeze, so he clutched tightly to the one he was on, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to stay as quiet as humanly possible, not quite able to stop the small whimpers leaking from his mouth.
He stayed up there for a long while, trembling, nausea rising up in his stomach, but after a while, there was the sound of a soft and familiar voice - one that instantly snapped him out of the state he was in.
“A-Yuan.”
Tears filled his eyes as he looked down at the familiar white-clad figure below him, relief flooding his small body.
“Hanguang-jun,” he wailed.
“Come down,” Lan Wangji said, his voice calm and level.
Lan Yuan really wanted to go to him, so he sniffled, looking around for a way down. Just as he was about to take a step to a lower branch, a gust of wind blew through the tree, violently shaking the branch he was on.
He locked his arms around the branch, his one lifeline, clinging to it, letting out a noise of alarm.
Once the wind died down a little bit, he looked back down at Lan Wangji, who was gazing back up at him.
He wanted to be with him right then. To be within that calm presence and away from all the terror that had been coursing through him.
He made a split second decision, letting go of the branch, standing up, and launching himself down toward him.
He was weightless for a few seconds before he landed, safely and securely, in gentle arms.
He didn't hesitate as he buried his face against his shoulder, curling his fingers tightly into the fabric of his robe.
“Die-die!” he cried.
Lan Wangji's grip on him loosened for just a second before tightening once again. “I'm here,” he said, laying a gentle hand on his back. “Let us go back now.”
Lan Yuan nodded, sniffling slightly. Now that he was there in his arms, the only thing that he wanted to do was stay with him.
They started heading back the way they had come. He was vaguely aware of them stopping briefly as Lan Wangji spoke to someone, but he was content to just lay with his head against his shoulder.
He stayed like that until they got back inside.
Lan Wangji tried to pull him forward - away from him, making him let out a cry, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. He didn’t want him to put him down. He wanted to stay in his arms where it was safe.
Instead of continuing to try and pull him away, they shifted slightly one more time - to sit down, Lan Yuan realized as he was placed in his lap, continuing to cling to him.
He stayed like that for a few minutes until he was confident in the fact that he wouldn’t be put down if he changed position.
He pulled away, eyes widening at the sight in front of him. Lan Wangji’s pristine, white robes were now stained with mud and grass from where Lan Yuan had been clinging to him. He had never once seen him get dirty before. Was he going to be mad at him for doing that?
He wiped at one of the mud stains with his hand, tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” His voice trembled.
Lan Wangji grabbed hold of his hand, stopping his futile attempts to wipe the mud off of him. “There is no need to apologize. How are you feeling?”
So he wasn’t mad at him then?
“I’m okay,” he mumbled, looking down. He wasn’t afraid anymore so he was a lot better. He was beginning to realize that what he had been feeling was the result of a bad dream. It had been a scary dream - one that he didn’t want to go back to ever again.
Lan Wangji looked at him for a few seconds before nodding. “Do you want to get cleaned up then?”
He looked down at the mud he had gotten smeared everywhere before nodding. He did want to be clean. To leave that whole experience behind him.
Lan Wangji stood, placing a reluctant Lan Yuan down onto the bed. He didn’t want him to go. Couldn’t he go with him to get the bath ready? He didn’t want to push it though. One rule that he had been told from the second he got to the Cloud Recesses was that he wasn’t supposed to wander around at night - he was also now just realizing that he had fully broken that rule in his fear. He didn’t want whatever punishment there was for that to be worse because he had tried to ask for more.
So, he stayed patiently on the bed, hugging his legs to his chest as he stared at the door Lan Wangji had gone through, willing for him to come back.
It felt like forever before the door opened and Lan Wangji came back in, walking over. “Come,” he said, holding out his hand.
Lan Yuan didn’t hesitate as he took it, walking with him to a different room where a bath was set up, the water steaming. It looked like it would be so nice and warm - especially after the adventure he had just had running outside on the chilly night that it was.
Lan Wangji helped him to remove his clothes, folding each piece neatly before setting it aside to be washed. When he took his pants off though, he stopped, gently touching his fingers to his knee.
Lan Yuan looked down, surprised to find that he was bleeding. He hadn’t even noticed it before, too caught up in running away. It must have happened when he had fallen. It was even stinging a little bit. Instantly, his eyes filled with tears.
Lan Wangji laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, his voice calm. “You are all right. It is just a scratch.”
He nodded, forcing the tears back, calmer now that he had said that.
With that, he was lifted into the bathtub, the water just as nice and warm as it had looked. The scrape on his knee stung a little bit as it touched the water, but he did his best to ignore it, not wanting to cause any more trouble. Lan Wangji helped to wash him, hands gentle as he rubbed the dirt from his skin.
Lan Yuan fidgeted slightly as he lifted up his leg, taking extra care with the area around his wound. He had something that he wanted to say. He wanted to explain to him why this had happened.
“Um, Hanguang-jun?”
“Mm?” He didn’t look up from where he was washing the scrape.
“Thank you for coming to get me. I… had a bad dream.”
He let go of his leg, letting it fall back into the water. “Do you wish to talk about it?”
A brief flash of the dream went through his mind, his whole body swept up with a wave of terror, the water in the bath suddenly as chilly as the mud outside.
He shook his head, holding back the tears that once again threatened to fall. He didn’t think he could go through explaining what exactly had happened in it. It would be too much.
Lan Wangji nodded before lifting him back out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his shoulders, beginning to pat him dry.
He left for just a second, bringing back with him a salve for his wound along with a fresh set of clothes for him.
He was extremely gentle as he rubbed the salve on his knee, touch light. It immediately dissipated the stinging sensation from it that he had been experiencing since he had noticed it.
Before he knew it, he was dressed once more, clean and feeling infinitely better than he had a mere thirty minutes prior.
He was also getting very sleepy, fighting back yawns. He barely noticed as Lan Wangji picked him up, carrying him back into the other room, walking back over to the bed, pulling back the blankets before setting him down inside of them, tucking them gingerly back around him.
He stared up at Lan Wangji for a second, slightly confused as to what was going on. “Um, am I staying here?”
“Unless you wish to go back.”
Lan Yuan quickly shook his head. He wanted to stay there. He was old enough now to stay the night with all the other disciples of the Lan clan, but, before he had been, he had spent every night sleeping in bed with Lan Wangji. It was a very safe and comfortable place to be. A place he wanted to be after the night he had had.
It did make him realize something though. He now always stayed in the same room as Lan Jingyi. Was he okay without him there? He always asked him to walk with him to the bathroom in the middle of the night in case there was a ghost. Was he okay with that? Was he worried? Had he scared him earlier when he had run out after having the nightmare?
He made the resolution to apologize to him in the morning, laying back against the pillow on the bed.
In the time that he had been thinking about that, Lan Wangji had changed out of the muddy robes he had on and into one that was clean. He climbed into the bed with him, settling down beside him.
Lan Yuan quickly attached himself to his side, fingers gripping tightly to his clothes.
When he had first arrived at the Cloud Recesses, after he had gotten better from his fever, this was where he had always slept. Except, back then, Lan Wangji had held him almost too tightly in his arms, clutching him to his chest like he was afraid to let him go. Tonight, he had one arm wrapped around him, his hand resting lightly on his wrist.
Lan Yuan yawned, burying his face against his side, mumbling as he spoke the last few words he needed to get out that night. “I love you, Die-die.”
There was no audible response, just the soft feeling of a kiss being pressed against his forehead.
He fell into a quiet and restful sleep, warm and content, nightmares far out of mind.