Chapter Text
"Shit."
Darcy gnawed on her bottom lip harshly as she stared down at the test that rested on her bathroom counter. Perhaps it was a false positive? Yeah, it could definitely be a false positive.
If it weren't for the other three tests on the counter Darcy could hold onto that hope. But no. She was definitely pregnant.
"Double shit."
Darcy tried not to panic, but that was impossible at the moment. She was 24, an assistant to the world's greatest astrophysicist, lived in the new Avengers facility, and just spent half an hour pissing on some plastic to confirm that there was a bun in the oven.
She placed a hand on her still-flat stomach and quirked an eyebrow wryly.
"Well, this is definitely going to be an adventure, kiddo."
----
"FRIDAY, I'm gonna need you to enact some privacy protocols up in here."
Jane startled at her friend's voice, not expecting her in the lab since she had called in sick that morning. Looking at Darcy, Jane could definitely tell that something was really wrong.
"What's the matter, Darce?” The only time Jane ever heard of Darcy enacting privacy protocols were during particularly raunchy storytelling time, but Jane realized that living in this facility with all the ridiculously good looking people Darcy had reason to enact that a lot, if only to save herself from embarrassment. None all of storytelling time involving the other residents were real stories, they were just fantasies, after all.
"So, I'm totally freaking out and I don't really know what the next steps are except to freak out some more and maybe see Bruce? Yeah, that's probably good and maybe not tell Thor for a bit because I still haven't told you or anyone and oh my god Janie, I'm pregnant."
Jane had no response.
"I'm really going to need you to say something, boss-lady."
"Are you keeping it?" Jane was hiding her excitement, needing to hear the answer before she got her hopes up. No one knew it or suspected it, but Jane really loved babies and kids. Yeah, they had a tendency to spew some sort of liquid everywhere and they would never be safe in her lab, but they were so stinking cute!
"Yeah, Janie, I'm keeping the baby."
Jane just let it all out then.
"OH MY GOD! CONGRATS, DARCY! There's gonna be a baby and you're going to be a mom! This is so exciting!"
Darcy must not have been prepared for this reaction because Jane's assistant jumped a solid two feet in the air before settling and letting out a hysterical giggle.
Soon enough, Darcy was getting mother hen-ed (ha!) by Jane, bottles of water and one of Tony’s weird protein shakes getting thrusted into her hands seemingly out of nowhere.
"Okay, so clearly I am excited--"
"Just a bit, boss lady."
"--but what about you? you haven't said much, granted that was my fault, but what are you feeling about it?"
Jane watched as Darcy pursed her lips in thought for a few minutes, then as a genuine smile gently spread its way across her mouth.
"I'm still freaking out, and I'll probably flip my shit later more, but I think I'm excited. Nervous, but the good kind?"
Beaming at her best friend's happiness, Jane braced herself for her next question since it was a sensitive topic.
"Who's the father? And when are you going to tell him?"
Darcy's face paled, and Jane realized that Darcy hadn't even gotten that far into thinking ahead yet.
"Oh fuck, oh FUCK!”
"Darcy, what's wrong?!" Jane's mind immediately began going to worse case scenarios and wondering if she needed Thor to enact some vengeance for his Lightning sister.
"Janie, the father situation is...ah, it's a bit complicated…"
Darcy then went into detail (holy hell, a lot of detail) about a night a month and a half ago that she spent with Steve and Bucky. What had started out as a casual night with the three friends watching movies together that eased into harmless flirting before they all ‘suddenly’—Darcy’s words, not Jane’s—fell into bed together. Jane had a moment of silence for Darcy’s birth control, apparently the pills didn’t stand a chance against the two super-soldiers’ swimmers.
Jane's jaw had just about hit the floor as Darcy began her tale. Before she got around to freaking out with Darcy, Jane slowly raised her hand for a high five.
"Before we have more panic attacks, I really need to say: Damn, minion. Well done."
Darcy barked out an incredulous bout of laughter but reciprocated Jane's high five anyways.
"Thanks, boss lady, I'm pretty proud of that myself, even if it complicates things."
"A lot."
"Yes, Jane. It complicates things a lot."
XxX
Darcy and Jane kept the news to themselves for a couple more weeks, wanting to wait until Darcy was a little further along so they could go to Bruce to confirm Darcy's pregnancy. They were pretty certain about it, with the super soldiers and the four pregnancy tests, but it never hurt to have a (sort of) professional opinion. While not an actual medical doctor, Bruce was the most qualified for a potential super baby.
They really shouldn't have planned for discretion though.
The entire team was gathered in the common room one Thursday night, a full two weeks after Darcy told Jane about the kiddo in her gut. Every Thursday was family game night (enforced by Darcy) and this night's game was a candy land tournament. With a building filled with supers and enhanced people, it was realized quickly that any game that wasn't a children's game ended within 30 seconds and a lot of yelling.
Darcy was updating the bracket (Pietro, Vision, Sam, and Scott to the final four) when the crack of thunder shook the back windows. The team turned as one to look at the clear sky before coming to the simultaneous conclusion.
Thor was back.
Darcy immediately froze, only moving when Jane appeared at her side having sensed her panic.
"Janie, what do we do?!"
Thor was the god of fertility as well as thunder, there was no way this was going over without conflict. The big guy had adopted Darcy as a sister, so he held some ridiculous standard for her honor. She didn't have the heart to remind him that her honor was tarnished years ago.
Jane was torn between excitement of a surprise visit from her space boyfriend and the dread for Darcy at the drama to come. Casting a furtive look over her shoulder, Jane could see that Thor was already at the sliding glass doors. They were out of time.
"We've just got to ride this out, Darce.”
Hoping to give her friend a few spare moments to brace herself, Jane ran over to Thor and jumped into his arms. During their reunion, Jane felt a little guilty that she wasn’t 100% with Thor in the moment, concerned about Darcy and the shit that was about to hit the fan.
“Where is my Lightening Sister?” Thor’s booming voice echoed among the various voices calling out greetings that he was ignoring to search for Darcy instead. Finding her at the back of the group, Thor’s face lit up like a beam of sunlight as he pushed his way to her.
“Darcy! I am glad to see you are we—” Thor paused his jovial greeting, Darcy hanging awkwardly in his arms from where he had picked her up off the floor in a hug, as was his custom.
Slowly, the god lowered Darcy so she could stand on her own two feet but did not remove his arms from around her.
“I did not know you were courting someone, Darcy,” Jane winced at the murmured words and the hint of hurt in Thor’s voice. Thor and Darcy were a blend of siblings and best friends, and it was clear that he was upset that she was potentially keeping something from him.
Bracing herself, Jane attempted to covertly place herself between the soon-to-be angry god and the rest of the Avengers who were now looking at the scene with curiosity.
“I’m not courting anyone, Thor.” Darcy’s words were barely heard to Jane, but she had no doubt that the room filled with enhanced people were catching this entire conversation.
“But you are—”
“Yes, I am, and I—”
“YOU HAVE BEEN DISHONORED, LIGHTENING SISTER!”
Everyone winced as one as Thor’s rage brought down an onslaught of rain outside with giant bolts on lightening with just as intimidating claps of thunder.
“Thor! Please calm down—”
“What does the father have to say for himself, sister? I would like to have words with this miscreant about the way one treats the lady who carries his child.”
Jane’s eyes fell closed as everyone gasped at Thor’s words, Scott, Clint, and Tony uttering “Oh shit” in sync with each other.
Darcy’s eyes rapidly shifted between Thor, Jane, and the Avengers (being sure to keep her eyes off of a certain pair of super soldiers), desperately searching for a way out but knowing that there was none.
She sighed, rubbing a hand down her face underneath her glasses in exasperation. “The father doesn’t know, Thor. I had only told Jane and was waiting to tell the father once I was 100% sure that I was pregnant…though you definitely took care of that last bit for me.”
Thor was unfazed by the fact that he had just spilled the beans about the baby, turning his hurt gaze on Jane instead.
“You know who the father is and he has not been reprimanded?”
Knowing this was her time to step in, Jane nodded and made her way over to the pair so she could wrap her arms around Darcy’s waist in a hug.
“Yes, but she asked me to keep it a secret so I did, I wanted her to do this on her own terms.”
As if hearing the words from his girlfriend instead of his sister did some sort of light-bulb effect on the god, Thor quickly turned his head to give Darcy a beseeching look.
“I am sorry, Darcy, that I revealed your secret before you were ready. I simply acted without thinking and I hope you can forgive me for this slight.”
Unsurprisingly, Darcy’s jovial manner was back in a moment, beaming up at Thor.
“Aw, it’s okay, big guy. You kind of saved me the stress of telling everyone, so that’s nice.”
Sam, beautiful, sane and normal Sam, spoke up from his spot on the couch.
“Okay, am I the only one here that is dying to know who the baby-daddy is so the Avengers can go kick his ass?” Jane sighed, clearly he was spending too much time around Tony and Clint.
There were grunts of agreement from the room, Natasha even going as far to pull out a knife to twirl it between her fingers.
Jane looked at Darcy to gage her reaction but was too late to stop her from speaking when she saw the devious expression on Darcy’s face that usually led to very bad things.
“I’d love to see that, personally, especially seeing as there’s a 50-50 shot of it being either of our favorite soldiers from the 40s.”
XxX
Okay, so Darcy really should have thought before speaking, especially when her two baby-daddies (oh god was that a horrible sounding thing) were still seated on the couch surrounded by heroes who were very protective of Darcy.
Thor’s hand immediately extended to his side to call for Mjölnir, Tony called for one of his suit’s gauntlets (even though he was laughing hysterically at the situation, Darcy was the pseudo daughter her never had and he was just rolling with the paternal feelings), Clint leapt from his perch on the counter and clocked Bucky in the jaw, and Natasha had moved lightening fast and was squeezing Steve around his diaphragm with her thighs with everything she had.
Vision and Wanda looked like they weren’t surprised by anything that had happened, but Darcy remembered that they were both telepaths so they probably weren’t surprised. She made a note to bake them some tasty treats as a thank-you for not blabbing. Vision beamed at her as he heard her thoughts, he was particularly fond of the snickerdoodles she baked.
Pietro was laughing like a mad-man as he began filming the action on his phone next to Darcy, having used his speed to get to her side in less than a heartbeat so he could capture it all on film. “For posterity,” he teased.
Sam and Scott simply dodged their way out of the melee, but still kept their stern faces of ‘You shouldn’t have been so reckless’ on. Scott had a daughter, so this hit a bit close to home for him.
Darcy liked to think that if Hope was there as well, she’d be joining Natasha with the thigh-strangling. The woman was a badass, and Darcy hated that she wasn’t in the facility as frequently as everyone else.
Looking for Jane, Darcy found her standing in front of a very irate Thor trying to prevent Steve and Bucky from getting a Mjölnir to the head.
Rolling her eyes at the spectacle, Darcy brought her fingers to her mouth and let out a shrill whistle, getting everyone’s attention.
“Wow, guys, that was a little dramatic, don’t you think?”
Most of the room shuffled their feet sheepishly, while Bucky and Steve’s pale faces just emitted shock. Natasha refused to release Steve, shrugging at Darcy shamelessly.
“I was on birth control, it failed, and that happens sometimes. So don’t beat on them for something none of us could have expected, okay?”
She gave the room a firm stare, the one she used whenever she needed to get all her scientists to leave the lab to eat and get some sunshine. Darcy was pleased to see that it also worked on super-heroes, each of them cowing beneath her gaze.
Bucky pushed himself off of the floor while rubbing his jaw, casting a wary eye at Clint who was wearing the smuggest grin Darcy had ever seen.
“Doll, you think us three could take this conversation elsewhere? Think we need to have a discussion.”
Steve’s rapid nodding showed that he agreed with his boyfriend, so he tried to remove Natasha’s legs from his chest in order to stand up from the couch.
“No. You guys can have this conversation in medical, Darcy needs a doctor appointment now and I am appointing myself as her doctor. Objections?” The room startled at Bruce’s firm voice from his spot in his usual armchair to the side of the room, his expression daring anyone to challenge him. Where Tony took up the mantle as Darcy’s pseudo father, Bruce was like the overprotective uncle always by his side.
Darcy sighed in relief that Bruce was appointing himself, she was worried she was going to have to awkwardly beg the quiet physicist to take the job, but she should have known better. Besides being one of the Avengers himself, he was one of the only experts on the super soldier serum (and what happened when things went wrong) so it made sense that he would have a vested interest the potential super baby’s health as well as Darcy’s.
Seeing and hearing no objections, Bruce stood and quickly made his way to Darcy’s side, pausing for the briefest of moments to give Steve and Bucky a dry look that said, Well? Aren’t you coming?
Wasting no further time the two men ran to Darcy and Bruce, their bodies displaying their usual confidence and swagger while their faces betrayed their nerves and shock. Together they flanked Darcy’s sides as they followed Bruce to the elevators and down into his lab.
XxX
Bucky wasn’t sure why Darcy kept giggling when she looked at him and Steve, but he wasn’t going to question it when she seemed so relaxed about their…situation. He kept shifting his weight in the shitty chair he sat in, wondering if Bruce gave him and Steve the world’s most uncomfortable chairs on purpose.
Darcy sat on a medical examination table, swinging her legs as if she hadn’t a worry in the world. As if she wasn’t carrying either Steve OR Bucky’s baby. She did lose her calm demeanor minutes earlier when Bruce had to ask if she planned on keeping the baby, despite the show that went down in the common area. They all needed to know that she wasn’t feeling pressured by the reveal to keep it.
“No, I decided weeks ago when I told Jane that I was keeping it,” her nervous gaze turned to Steve and Bucky as they slumped in their chairs in relief. “I don’t know how you two want to move forward from here, but I’m keeping the baby and I’ll respect your decisions if you don’t want to be involved.”
Bruce waved off the conversation before the two men could reassure Darcy, telling them that he was there for medical purposes and not there to facilitate family meetings. His teasing words snapped Darcy out of the small funk she had gotten into moments before as he intended.
So now Bucky sat freaking out in the examination room, using every ounce of his sniper’s training to regulate his breathing and keep calm as Bruce drew blood and administered a whole slew of tests to Darcy. Steve sat on his right, fidgeting constantly and always looking a moment away from bursting with his nerves and questions.
“Okay, Darcy, you seem perfectly healthy,” she preened as Bruce covered the puncture mark in the crease of her elbow with a Hulk band aid, but frowned as he continued to speak, “However, I’m going to write you up a nutritional health-plan and some prenatal vitamins. I want you to make sure you watch your hunger. We know how the serum affects the guys’ metabolism, but I’m not sure how it will affect you and the baby. So if you’re hungry, for the love of god, eat.” For effect, Bruce pulled out a protein bar from his coat pocket and handed it to Darcy.
“Thanks, Bruce! Can’t wait to have an excuse to eat everything I want with a free pass!” Darcy giggled as she jumped from the table but her face turned stern as she faced Bucky and Steve.
Hands on her hips, she raised a commanding eyebrow at them.
“Alrighty boys, I think we need to have a talk.”