Work Text:
Aethelflaed was fuming after speaking to her brother, King Edward. He somehow made the entire battle her fault, even though by ignoring the numerous requests for aid from the Mercian ealdormen, the blood was on his hands. He even tried to blame her for Steapa’s death somehow, as if she personally swung the axe that ended his life. She was simultaneously livid, tired, and depressed, and all she wanted to do in that moment was take off her armor, clean herself up, and rest before returning to Saltwic for some well-earned time to enjoy peace and recuperate.
She was in desperate need of a wash, but she was too exhausted to do a thorough job. She had hardly slept at all for the past several days; the horror of the sack of Aegelesburg and the dread of the looming battle at Tettenhall kept her from getting any rest since she returned to Mercia. She was lightheaded and fatigued, and needed to sleep a bit before she could do anything else, so she decided to have a rest in her tent before cleaning up. She only had energy to wipe the worst of the dried blood from her face and remove the blood-soaked bracers from her forearms before she lay on her thin bed roll and quickly drifted away.
She awoke a few hours later with a dull, throbbing ache in her left shoulder. She tried repositioning herself so that the pain was less bothersome, but even when she found a comfortable position, sleep would not come. In the darkness and quiet of her tent, her mind was racing, overwhelmed with processing the events of the past few days. She tossed and turned but was not able to fall back asleep. Despite the fatigue, pain and horrors she just lived through, or maybe because of it, all she could think about was being with the man she loved. She could almost still feel the heat of his body against hers, his strong arms holding her close, his strained breath cascading down her neck in heavy, tense bursts. It drove her wild, and overrode her pain and weariness. Her mind had been razor focused on the battle only hours ago, but now all she could think about was seeking comfort in his arms. On the battlefield she danced the line between life and death, and knew how close she had come to crossing over that line. It brought with it newfound clarity about what was truly important. And right now, in that moment, what was important was being with him. Nothing else mattered.
She gathered a change of clothes and left her tent. Men were rushing about camp in the early evening hours, and none of them seemed to take notice of her, which was exactly as she had hoped. She knew that what she was doing was very risky, especially in the middle of a Saxon camp surrounded by her brother’s men. There would be hundreds of eyes on her, critical of her every move, and it would surely cause a scandal if she were found out. But she no longer cared. With a confident stride and her eyes straight forward, she made a hasty retreat to the tent where Aldhelm hopefully was, and went in without hesitation.
Aldhelm had been resting, deep in contemplative thought, gazing with unfocused eyes at the ceiling of the tent, but her sudden and unexpected presence startled him, as he turned to glance at the intruder with a brief lack of recognition and sat bolt upright before he realized who it was and relaxed.
“Aldhelm, I need you,” she said softly as her eyes met his.
“Lady,” he said quietly, and rose to meet her. He wore only a dark brown long tunic and trousers; his gambeson and the rest of his armor had been removed to be cleaned, and he had clearly already washed himself and changed into clean clothes a while ago. He was always very tidy and organized, and kept himself well groomed, traits that she had come to admire.
“I am in need of your assistance,” she clarified, diverting from her first statement. Without being given further information, Aldhelm understood what she needed. He nodded and immediately went behind her to help her remove her armor. Aethelflaed normally had ladies to help her get dressed, but they left Winchester in such a hurry that they could not bring her normal servants on their journey, and it fell to Aldhelm to help her dress and put on her armor. Something that she was comfortable with and entirely trusted him to do, probably more so than the servants.
She felt his hands deftly and gently undoing the laces of her armor, and the tension and anger from the past few days melted away like ice in the bright spring sun. Being with him always made her feel centered and calm, and if it wasn’t for him, she did not know how she would have been able to cope with the Danish invasion. She owed him her life a thousand times over. And he never complained, never asked for anything in return. If angels were real, he was surely one of them, sent by God himself to watch over her and keep her safe.
After what seemed like an eternity, the armor was unlaced, and swiftly yet with great care he removed it from her torso. The sudden rush of cool air on her sweat-dampened tunic chilled her, and she shivered. It did not go unnoticed by the ever-attentive Aldhelm.
“Are you injured, Lady?” he asked. Her pink tunic was splattered with dried blood, and it was impossible to tell which was potentially hers, and which was from the Danes.
“I am uncertain. I feel pain in my left shoulder but do not remember being hit there.”
“I will need to remove your tunic to assess the wound. Do I have your permission to do so?” he asked politely, never breaking eye contact with her. He had seen her in various stages of undress before (although never completely nude), and had gotten over his initial shyness a long time ago. Living with her in Saltwic for years had given him a level of comfort with her he never imagined. He had overcome his discomfort out of necessity, although he still was giddy at the thought of touching her.
“Yes, you may,” was all she said. She felt no shame in having him help her to undress. He was the only man she felt truly comfortable being vulnerable around.
He motioned for her to sit down on his bedroll so she could be more comfortable while he worked. With the same care and skill he used just a few moments prior to help her out of her armor, he now used to gently unlace her tunic. He gingerly removed the tunic from her body, sliding the sleeve very carefully off of her arm, not wanting to aggravate her injury. Once the tunic was off, she was left with just her thin shift and trousers. He unlaced the back of her shift and helped her pull her left arm out of it, leaving the rest of it to cover her modesty. This part made him increasingly uncomfortable as he was becoming more aware of the intimacy of their situation. Despite everything he started to blush, but tried to focus on the task at hand and not let himself get overwhelmed.
He carefully examined her and noticed a large bruise on the front of her shoulder, with a small amount of dried blood but no obvious wound, at least not a deep one.
“Lady, why did you not have this tended to earlier?” he asked.
“It did not hurt all that much earlier. I was exhausted from the battle and just wanted to lie down for a bit and rest. I was planning on changing and washing after I had rested for a while, but the pain had worsened in that time.”
“You should not have waited,” he chastised softly.
“How bad is it?” she asked.
“It looks like you were hit with the edge of a shield or some similar blunt object, Lady. The wound is superficial, mostly bruising that will take some time to heal.”
He cleaned the dried blood from the wound with a wet cloth, focusing his rapidly degenerating attention on taking care of her wound and trying not to think about the intimacy of his contact with her bare skin. He also tried not to pay attention to the curves of her body underneath the thin fabric, so close to his hands. He was hyperaware that there was not much keeping the rest of her shift up and covering her from his view. He could feel his trousers becoming uncomfortably tight, which was not really a welcome diversion but it did give him something else to focus on besides the fact that only a very thin piece of cloth separated him from her.
She leaned back against the taught wall of the tent and relaxed while he tended to her wound. He was very gentle and took care not to use too much pressure and accidentally cause her pain. She trusted him completely, and could relax knowing that he would take good care of her. The incident brought to mind the time when he was stabbed and she helped to treat his wound. Although her wound was not life threatening as his was.
“It probably looks and feels worse than it actually is,” he told her. “It should heal in a week or so, and the pain should be better in a few days.”
“Thank you, Aldhelm,” she said, and reached over to grab her bag with her change of clothes in it.
He assumed she was getting ready to leave, since he helped her with what needed to be done, and so he turned away from her to focus on gathering up all the dirty linens. While he was preoccupied, she removed the sleeve of her shift from her right arm and let it drop down, fully exposing her chest. She then grabbed one of the remaining unused damp cloths and started to clean the rest of her upper body.
When he turned around and saw her with her top half completely uncovered, he almost dropped everything. His face turned beet red and he let out a noise that was halfway between a moan and a squeak, and averted his eyes downward. The sound of his blood pounding in his ears drowned out all other noise. He was breathing so heavy he thought he would pass out.
Aethelflaed smiled at him as she cleaned herself. He would not look at her, but neither did he move from where he was seated in front of her.
“Lady, you should cover yourself,” he said, his voice trembling.
“I need to finish washing,” she said frankly.
He took that as a cue for him to leave expeditiously. “I will give you your privacy. I will be just outside the tent, should you require further assistance,” he said hurriedly, his voice shaking and cracking with anxiety, his face flushing to a deep crimson hue.
She grabbed his hand before he could stand up completely. “I have nothing to hide from you. Please, stay. There is no need for you to leave.”
He was at the limit of what he could tolerate, but despite that he obeyed, as he always had. Whatever she commanded he did, no matter how much it tore him apart.
‘She will be my ruin,’ he thought. Years of repression and sexual tension between them had reached its absolute summit in that moment, and he was not sure how much more he could take before he did something he would regret. She had never been this forward and it was more than he could handle.
As he sat with his back to her, thinking about what had become of his life, he heard her making struggling noises behind him. He turned to face her to see what was the matter, completely oblivious to the fact that she was half naked before him. She winced as she tried to clean her right side while holding the cloth in her left hand. Without being asked, Aldhelm scooted himself closer to her, gently took the cloth out of her hand, and helped her to finish washing herself, even though doing so made him unbearably uncomfortable. The sensation of his strong hands tenderly caressing her body was relaxing and exhilarating at the same time.
He leaned further towards her so he could wash her back, his face was only a few centimeters from hers, so close she could feel his breath flowing down her chest. Having him so close to her and with her being in such a vulnerable position made her wild with desire for him. She knew she had to go slow with him, and could not force herself onto him since that would scare him off. However, since he was so reserved and shy, she knew she had to take the initiative because he would never make any move on her. Which was simultaneously endearing but also frustrating. It was fantastic that she could completely trust him and know he would never do anything untoward to her, but at the same time, completely deferring to her in matters of romantic encounters made it awkward and weird for her. She had never met another man like him.
She reached up with her good arm and gently grasped his shoulder, and at the same time she leaned forward and nuzzled her face into his. The abrupt feeling of her contact startled him and he turned his head slightly to face her, and the expression on her face sent a rush of heat shooting up his abdomen. She had a very clear look of desire in her eyes as she gazed at him, but he only got to appreciate it for a split second before she leaned forward and kissed him. It was just a quick brush of her lips against his, barely perceptible, before she leaned back slightly to gauge his reaction. His eyes were wide and his face was somehow an even deeper red than it was before, and she felt his hand, still holding the cloth on her back, tremble. Before he could protest or react in any way, she shoved herself forward and kissed him again, this time deeper and with more passion than the first.
To her great surprise and delight he did not pull away or just sit there like a wooden statue, but reciprocated her affection, engaging with her. He had dropped the cloth and it was just his bare hand on her naked back, palm flat against her skin, holding her to him while he deepened the kiss. She pulled back to gaze upon his face once more, and saw her own desire reflected in his soft sage eyes for just a flicker of a moment before it faded, replaced by fear and anxiety.
“Aethelflaed, we should not,” he said softly, but did not pull away from her, although he did remove his hand from her back. It was the first time he had addressed her by name; it was always ‘Lady’ out of duty and decorum. He always tried his best to maintain that respectful distance, even though doing so destroyed him. He spent years being so close to her and yet the distance between them was so great. Now, it seemed, she wanted to finally close that gap, but it was still so hard for him to give into his greatest desire.
“Why not?” she asked cheekily, the weight of his words not lost on her.
“You know why not,” he replied quietly yet firmly, a warning to her.
“Aldhelm, I am tired of living my life walking on eggshells.”
“What happens if we are discovered?” he asked, fear causing his voice to crack.
“Then we are discovered,” she said, removing her hand from his shoulder and placing it on his face. “I do not fear him and I will not let my fear allow him to control me anymore. I cannot live the rest of my life being tormented by him, and denying myself love and happiness. And neither should you.” She caressed his face, running her fingers over the short-cropped beard hair on the sides of his jawline.
He had loved her deeply and devoted himself to her for so long without any hope of his affections being returned. He had come to accept that it would never happen, and contented himself with caring for her in any way he could. But now his wildest dream was coming true, right before his eyes. He had spent uncountable sleepless nights fantasizing about her coming to his chambers in the middle of the night, desire in her eyes, and surrendering herself to him. Now it seems it was actually happening, and he could not believe it.
He was torn to shreds on how to proceed. On one hand, he feared that their love would put her in danger, and he would rather suffer than put her through more of her husband’s torment. On the other, they had both suffered for so long. He was lonely and desperately desired being with the woman he loved. He knew she suffered as well, being forced to remain chaste for the sake of her husband’s cruelty. It was an exquisite torture to live one’s life without being loved. She came to him of her own volition, seeking his company, and it would be cruel of him to not return her affections. He could not deny her this comfort, nor could he any longer deny himself.
She had watched him control himself with inhuman levels of restraint for years, and despaired at seeing him suffering in such a way. They had both danced around decorum for so long, and they were both tired. So very tired. It had been such a hard ingrained habit, though, that it was hard for him to relax and release himself to her. He was still tense and anxious, and she knew she needed to find a way to melt through that protective layer he had built up around himself. The forbidden nature of their meeting somehow made it even more desirable, though, although she did not feel like she was doing anything illicit. Loving him could not possibly be a sin, despite what the Catholic church said about it.
She kissed him again as she continued to caress his face, gently encouraging him to free himself and give into pleasure. She could feel the tension leaving his body as his hands, once rigid and frozen in position, began to soften and move more freely. He lightly stroked her back and trailed up her neck, and in response to his touch she felt her hair stand on end and an involuntary shiver flow down her spine. It had been so long since she had been touched in that way that she almost forgot how good it felt. What made it even more pleasurable was that she was being touched by the man she was deeply in love with and had developed a very strong physical attraction to, in addition to deep trust and dependence.
She pulled back from him slightly to gaze at him, and was thrilled to see his desire multiplied. She removed her hand from his face and reached behind her head, grabbing the ends of the ribbon that bound her hair and untying it in one smooth liquid motion so that her hair cascaded down her shoulders. Being a married woman, she was required to wear her hair bound into a pleat over her back; her undoing of that was not just for her comfort but was symbolic as well; a very clear signal to Aldhelm that she was not bound to Aethelred any longer and was a free woman. At least for that moment.
She pressed herself into his body and nuzzled his neck, kissing him along his jaw and the sides of his neck. His quickening breath was punctuated by slight moans as she slid her hands under his tunic, the feeling of her hands on his bare skin eliciting a similar reaction as it had in her just moments before. He wove his fingers into her unbound hair as she caressed his body and trailed her kisses down his neck onto the small area of exposed chest just at the base of his neck.
She lifted up his tunic and tried to take it off, but her injured left shoulder limited her range of motion. Picking up on her signs of struggle and getting the hint that things were escalating, he grabbed the edges of his tunic and pulled it off over his head. Excited and even more turned on by the sight of him responding to her, she pressed herself into him and kissed him again. He felt a rush of adrenaline course through him at the sensation of her bare breasts against his chest, and once again felt tension building inside of him. As she held him in her arms she slowly leaned back, laying herself down on the bedroll and gently dragged him down on top of her. He caught himself with his arms before he landed on her and potentially hurt her, still cognizant of her injured shoulder.
Now it was his turn to take the initiative. He slid his arms underneath of her, still being careful not to hurt her, and planted a series of passionate kisses along her neck and down her chest. As he worked on her he heard her moaning and felt her struggling beneath him; his first thought was that he was hurting her, but when he pulled back, he saw that she was trying to unlace her trousers. He dutifully untied the cords at the front of her pants, and once they were loosened he hooked his fingers over the waistband and pulled them down and off of her. He sucked in his breath and shuddered at the sight of her laying on his bed, completely naked before him. He had never seen such a beautiful sight in his entire life. His greatest desire had materialized in front of him, enticing him with her angelic beauty, completely relaxed, ready and eager to give herself to him completely.
Aethelflaed watched him with curiosity as he drank her in, and let him take his time, even though she was literally dripping with anticipation. She had felt herself soak through her trousers and was glad that she remembered to bring a change of clothing with her for later. She had not felt such intense desire for someone in a very, very long time and it was refreshing, but the buildup of arousal was driving her almost to madness.
She fortunately did not have to wait for very long, because Aldhelm had decided that he could also wait no longer. He hurriedly unlaced and removed his own trousers, feeling incredible relief at freeing himself from the tight prison. He carefully lowered his body back down on top of hers. The feeling of their bare bodies pressed against one another was exhilarating beyond measure, and something he never thought he would ever experience in his life.
Aethelflaed groaned with pleasure as he lay on top of her, his well-endowed length pressed firmly against her belly as he kissed her deeply and passionately, and she could not handle it any longer; she needed him inside of her. She bent her knees, allowing him to settle in between her legs. She gasped as she felt his head pressed against her opening, and felt the thrill of passion as he gently probed her with the tip. She knew he was inexperienced and would need her to guide him through the process. She slid her hand down in between their bodies, grabbed hold of him and gently guided him inside of her. Even though she was fully aroused, the entrance was still tight, since she had not been with a man for many years. When he felt the resistance he hesitated, but she encouraged him to push inward. With him pushing himself into her with constant gentle pressure, and aided by the copious amount of slick, he was finally able to slide all the way into her. She involuntarily let out a very loud moan at his entrance, and quickly slapped a hand over her own mouth to stop herself from making noise. The last thing she wanted was for the soldiers to be alerted to their deviant behavior inside the tent.
Working on instinct rather than experience, Aldhelm slowly withdrew and entered her again, thrusting very gently and cautiously. He was encouraged by her moans of pleasure and gained confidence in his motions. He had uncountable dreams where she lay with him like this, but none of his fantasies could hold a candle to the actual physical experience. He could still hardly believe it was happening, and expected to wake up at any time, interrupted by some nonsense. But that didn’t happen, and he allowed himself to be absorbed fully in the moment.
Aethelflaed had been aroused for so long that she was overstimulated, and even the slow gentle motions of him inside of her was enough to cause her to reach peak ecstasy. She could feel the tingling waves building up inside of her, becoming more and more intense until she could not hold it back any longer. After less than a minute since he entered her, she crested. She involuntarily raised her pelvis as the waves broke over her. She stifled a moan, forcing herself to channel it into heavy breathing instead.
Aldhelm felt her clenching down on him, squeezing him tightly in pulsating bursts. He, too, felt like he was ready to finish, the waves of pleasure intensifying greatly and causing him to lose control over himself. Despite not knowing much about sex in general, he knew that the feeling he had would result in something that he could not allow to enter her body, so he pulled out just in time to spill his seed on her belly.
He was mortified about what he had just done, and did not know how to respond, but she comforted him, drawing him to her and kissing him to let him know she was satisfied. “I love you,” she whispered breathlessly into his ear.
“I love you too, Aethelflaed,” he replied softly, his forehead pressed against hers.
He grabbed one of the cloths that were still scattered about the floor of the tent and used it to clean his mess off of her. He then got another clean cloth and moistened it with water from the canteen and used that to finish cleaning her belly. When he finished, he did not seem to know what to do, so he sat there dazed yet satisfied. She took the cloth from his hand and used it to finish cleaning herself, then reclined once again on the bedroll.
She motioned for him to join her, and he lay down beside her, drawing up a blanket to lay over the top of them as he did. She rolled over onto her side and he pressed himself against her back, wrapped his arm tightly around her body, and buried his face into her neck. He quickly drifted into peaceful sleep, and she joined him shortly afterwards. They lay in each other’s arms, sound asleep until the sun rose again the next day, completely oblivious to anything else going on around them in the camp.
* * *