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“JJ, that’s not the point!” Emily’s voice rose as they bickered. JJ had been pushing her about Mick again. Now, watching as Emily slid a hand through her dark hair, haloed by the yellow lamplight on the street, she regretted it. Sour jealousy twisted in her stomach even as she told Emily to go for it. She remembered Emily saying the same thing to her about Will, remembered how her stomach had twisted then too. Stubborn and hurt, she had dove headfirst into a relationship she had always known wouldn’t work out. At least he had wanted her.
“So, are you gonna call him?” The question came out slightly too harsh.
Emily sighed. “Maybe, I don’t know.”
“Ugh, Emily.” JJ was frustrated. She wanted this conversation to be over even though she had started it.
“Mick Rawson is an arrogant, oversexed, egotistical—”
“Hot, sexy dude with a British accent, badge, and gun. Just your type,” JJ interrupted. Hey, two for four isn’t bad, she thought bitterly as Emily groaned in response. Again, her words were too sharp, her voice a little too loud and intense for what should be a teasing conversation between friends. “You know what? I don’t even get you sometimes,” she said softly, the fight starting to slip out of her.
“It wouldn’t go anywhere,” Emily’s voice was quieter in reply, matching JJ’s. Her shoulders sagged, and her eyes were distant. There was something she wasn’t saying. JJ had started this argument several times, hoping each time that Emily would finally say the words she was desperate to hear. I prefer to date women. JJ wanted it to be true so badly that even when she picked up on signs—the short nails, a lingering touch on her lower back, Emily’s general disgust toward men—she convinced herself that she was just projecting to keep her heart safe. Wishful thinking was a bitch.
“You don’t know that. Will and I made it work,” JJ almost whispered. Until they didn’t. But most of the team didn’t know that yet. Even after months of being separated, she couldn’t bring herself to stop wearing the ring; Henry’s birthstone felt more like a piece of her son than his father.
Emily rolled her eyes before shooting JJ a look that told her she wasn’t very good at keeping secrets. Emily shifted beside her, tucking her hands into her pockets as she glanced down the dimly lit street. The leather of her jacket pulled tight across her shoulders, a barely-there stretch that made JJ’s throat go dry before she forced herself to look away. This was ridiculous. She needed to stop looking at her like that. JJ opened her mouth, searching for the right way to continue but before she could say something stupid, she was interrupted by Sunshine herself. Penelope Garcia clicked down the cobblestone sidewalk toward them, arms full of bags and already sniffing the air for the coffee Emily carried for her, like some shopaholic bloodhound.
The tension was broken, Emily grinned and held Penelope’s coffee out in front of her. “Looking for this? I don't know how you drink this much sugar so late at night, let alone the caffeine,” she teased with a laugh.
Penelope reached for the cup, almost dropping a few shopping bags in the process.
“Please tell me those aren’t all for Henry,” JJ chuckled. She already knew the answer. Pen was the favorite aunt; she spoiled Henry constantly. Lately, though, she had been stepping up her game.
Somehow, in a room full of profilers, she had been the first to notice something was off with JJ when she and Will had first split. She had given JJ the silent support she needed, offering a shoulder to cry on and countless bottles of wine when Will had Henry for the weekend. Now, she spoiled Henry rotten, determined to make his life a little better.
“Well, this one is for Kevin,” Penelope held up a small bag that JJ hadn’t even seen behind all the other shopping bags hanging from her arms. “I can’t help it when I see something that I know my sweet nephew will love, and he’s just so fun when he opens gifts now, and—” her rambling was interrupted by a simultaneous chime coming from all of their phones.
Another case.
***
Back at Quantico, JJ ran the briefing as efficiently as she could. Alaska would be a first for her, and the team had their work cut out for them. The unsub was violent and evolving quickly. With three dead already and no signs of slowing down, they needed to move fast. Anticipating the long flight ahead, JJ had changed into a deep-cut black V-neck shirt and a comfortable pair of jeans.
She couldn’t help but notice that Emily had also changed. She wore a black tank top that showed off her strong, lean arms and jeans that hugged her ass so tightly that JJ had a hard time not staring. It didn’t help that she had positioned her gun at the small of her back so that it swayed as she walked, sending heat crawling up JJ’s neck as she imagined all the other ways Emily’s hips could move.
The flight to Alaska wasn’t much better. JJ sat diagonally from Emily, leaning against the window while she watched Emily’s hand flip through the case file. The large watch on her wrist only made Emily’s hands look more elegant, long thin fingers running across the ridges on the back of the file thoughtfully. JJ swallowed. Get a grip before someone notices. But when she looked up, Emily was watching her, lips slightly parted, a small flush on her cheeks. As JJ’s gaze moved up Emily’s face, finally meeting her eyes, Emily smirked, a mischievous look coming over her. How long was I watching? How long did she know I was watching? Was she putting on a show? Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
To JJ’s relief (and secret disappointment), the moment broke when Emily turned and started talking to Rossi about the details of the case. She shouldn’t be watching her so closely, shouldn’t be so obvious. She didn’t want Emily to feel uncomfortable. Ever since high school, when she realized that she also liked women, JJ had been afraid to be seen as a “predatory lesbian.” Even though she had never come out to anyone in her rural town, she had always placed herself in the corner with her back to the locker room as she changed for soccer, never shared a bed at the rare sleepover party she attended, and always walked quickly past the one Victoria’s Secret in the mall, her eyes practically closed.
JJ had grown up believing that this part of her was dangerous, that it could cost her the few close friendships she had formed since her sister died. Through high school and early college, she avoided dating and hooking up with women, afraid that she would do something wrong. By the time she got to the academy, she had only casually dated two women. They had approached her first and took the lead when she stumbled through conversation.
Over time, however, JJ grew more secure in herself. Penelope's close friendship never skipped a beat when she came out to her, her mom had given her a quiet understanding that JJ didn't know she desperately needed. In her adult life, she had learned how to have close, intimate female friendships without feeling like she was crossing a line. She was comfortable with her fluid sexuality and could distinguish between platonic and romantic love. She had learned to compartmentalize and keep her distance when she needed to. With her newfound confidence and liaison training she could charm and flirt with the best of them. But this was Emily, her best friend and the woman she had been secretly infatuated with since the moment they met. With Emily, the lines had been blurred from the start, and her gaze always seemed to wander before she could stop it.
Even now, her eyes were drawn back to Emily’s lips. She watched a short, well-manicured nail trace the underside of her full bottom lip, seeking out any smudges from the deep pink lipstick that JJ was obsessed with. JJ imagined that same finger swiping the smudge from under Emily’s bottom lip and onto her own, sharing the color before completely stamping it off onto JJ’s jaw and neck. JJ wanted to be covered in that berry pink. She would even get it tattooed if Emily put it there herself.
“JJ? JJ, are you listening?” Hotch interrupted her train of thought. Her neck and cheeks flushed at the sudden intrusion. They were now the wrong shade of pink. As she tuned back into reality, she realized that the rest of the team was staring at her, including Emily who watched with dark eyes. JJ was startled at the intensity she saw there, suddenly flustered and eager to shift the attention off of herself.
“I’m sorry sir, what were you saying?” JJ asked as she cleared her throat.
“You and I will go talk to the Sheriff when we get in, the rest of the team will investigate the crime scene,” Hotch replied, eyebrows knitting in concern as he watched JJ shift in her seat uncomfortably.
“Sounds good, before we left the Sheriff said he would find us somewhere to set up as soon as he could. It sounds like they don’t have a lot of space at their station so we’ll see what he came up with.”
***
“I have four rooms available for you all,” Carol said matter-of-factly, her severe face not allowing any room for argument. Carol’s Tavern would be their workspace, and hotel, and now it seemed JJ’s worst nightmare. Wet dream? Both. Especially when Penelope grabbed Derek’s arm and announced that she would be sharing with him. Traitor. And of course, Rossi in all his “I’ve been a profiler since they existed” glory would be the only one that didn’t have to share a room. Resigning herself to a long night of pretending that Emily’s bare legs didn’t make her heart pound, she shot a sidelong glance at her best friend.
“Guess it’s you and me, huh?” JJ smiled and teased to ease some of the tension in her chest.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way” Emily said with a wink. A wink. JJ was fucked. Thank god for the dim lighting in the tavern. It hid the way her cheeks flushed at the smallest things Emily did. It did not, however, hide the way Emily watched her, raising her eyebrows and biting back a grin as JJ scoffed and spluttered her way through an incoherent response. Smooth Jennifer, smooth. What was all that about newfound confidence?
Still, as she and Emily climbed the creaky wooden stairs to their room, she held out hope that there would be two beds like most of the hotels they stayed in. That would at least be manageable, sleeping feet away from Emily instead of inches. As Emily’s long fingers curled around the antique door knob and pushed the door open with a quiet scrape, she knew she was wrong. In the center of the room was a single bed with a painted metal frame. The mattress was covered in a homemade quilt and the two pillows nestled in under the metal dowels of the headboard were almost overlapping. The bed couldn’t have been bigger than a full. What in the fresh hell? Was this the inn that every single “ohhh and there’s only one bed” trope took place in? What had JJ done to deserve this?
“Well, this is cozy,” Emily quipped. Seeing the horrified look on JJ’s face she offered “I can sleep on the couch downstairs if you want?”
“No, no no, Garcia will be up all night down there researching the victims. We can share,” JJ didn’t offer to take the couch herself. She didn’t even offer to sleep on the floor. Maybe she was a masochist after all.
Emily sat down on the edge of the bed, stretching to take her boots off. JJ couldn’t help the short laugh that slipped out of her when she saw Emily’s socks. They were blue, covered in little flowers, and in a dainty script, they read “Bitch, I am calm.” Emily just grinned and threw herself back across the bed, her arms outstretched. JJ stared at the sliver of pale skin that was now exposed above Emily’s crooked belt buckle.
“You like those, Jareau?”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Agent Prentiss.”
They settled into a comfortable silence while JJ unpacked the few items of clothing she had brought with her, carefully tucking jeans into a drawer and hanging her shirts, fleece, and coat in the small open closet next to the door. She knew it was silly to unpack if they were only staying a few days but it brought her some comfort. It made the endless hotel rooms feel more like home, more like somewhere she belonged. Emily made no move to get up off the bed. JJ watched from the corner of her eye as she stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
Suddenly, Emily shot up, a wicked grin spreading across her lips and lighting up her eyes. JJ startled, then fully turned toward her new roommate with a raised eyebrow. “Yes, Emily?”
“Hotch. Reid,” Emily whispered loudly, doing nothing to fight the delighted look on her face.
For a moment, JJ was confused. Then it clicked, she burst out laughing, hardly able to stand up straight. Aaron and Spencer were also sharing a room. A very small room with a full-sized bed. She imagined the two tall men tucked in side by side and their feet hanging out between the rungs of the metal footboard, desperately trying not to touch or acknowledge that they were inches apart.
“Do you think Hotch is the big spoon or the little spoon?” JJ wheezed out, bent double at the thought of it.
Emily giggled and fell back again, “With Spence? Big spoon.”
God, her smile. Her laugh. JJ had always loved seeing this side of Emily. It was soft, something that she usually didn’t show the rest of the team without a healthy helping of wine. But JJ saw it now, in the intimacy of this tiny bedroom as Emily messed up the bedspread and left her boots lying haphazardly on the floor. Eventually, she sat up, her grey cable knit quarter zip askew, her shirt bunched up underneath and bulging out the top. She still smiled now, and JJ couldn’t help but smile back.
“Dibs on the first shower! Who knows how much hot water this place has anyway,” Emily grabbed her toiletries and ran playfully to the bathroom across from the small closet where JJ still stood before she could protest or tell her not to take too long. She had been looking forward to a hot shower since they got off the small float planes at the small port. Instead, they had spent the rest of the day getting right to work. There was a killer on the loose, after all. Now she wondered if she should just join Emily—purely to guarantee she got some hot water, of course. Stop it, Jareau.
Except she couldn’t stop thinking about Emily. She heard the shower handle squeak and the water cascading into the tub. Emily was naked no more than 5 feet away from her on the other side of the thin door. Soon Emily would be naked and wet and her skin would be hot to the touch. JJ felt a a fire glow to life low in her stomach and slide down, hot and wet between her legs. Normally she would take care of the ache, alone in her own hotel room she would allow herself to think about the gorgeous woman on the other side of the door. She would imagine what it would be like to feel those long, cool fingers slide up the overheated skin of her stomach, her breasts, maybe her neck while JJ ground herself down on that long, sharp nose, chasing those dark pink lips and the wet tongue that she watched swipe over perfect white teeth countless times.
But not here, not while Emily was so close. Not in the bed they were going to share for the night, she had to get her shit together. JJ busied herself fixing the bedspread, pulling her pajamas out of the drawer she had just placed them in, and setting her book on the bedside table closest to the two small windows. She set her ring next to it, wondering like she did every night if she would put it back on in the morning. She went through the drawers of both bedside tables next, finding only a bible, a pad of paper, and a pen. Having already looked in the small closet and in the drawers of the dresser, JJ was satisfied with her snooping.
She pulled out a thin yoga mat towel from her bag like she did everywhere they went. This job was rough on her body, even now in her 20s her back ached and her hips were tight after the hours spent traveling and hunched over a desk reading through case files. JJ peeled her socks off and changed into the loose yoga pants and the sports bra she kept in her go bag. She turned her back to the bathroom and started the yoga routine she had memorized years ago. As she moved her body began to loosen up and her mind gave her a reprieve from the constant Emily, Emily, Emily that pulsed through her veins. Pushing back into downward dog she let her head drop, snapping her eyes open when she heard the bathroom door click.
“Well hello there, Jennifer,” Emily purred teasingly. She stood in the short hallway in nothing but a towel, her wet hair impossibly darker and sticking to her shoulders in a wet tangle. Droplets clung to her chest, sliding down and disappearing into her cleavage, taking JJ’s gaze with them. Emily’s long bangs clung to her face as she leaned sideways, turning her head as close to upsidedown as she could, grinning a JJ all along. JJ’s own bangs hung down below her head, too short to tuck into the tight ponytail she had put up before she started stretching. She watched as the towel rode up one of Emily’s long, tan legs, skimming precariously high on her hip. JJ caught a glimpse of a tattoo she had never seen before, something dark and reaching on Emily’s right hip. She wanted a closer look, wanted to touch it, see how far the ink stretched up.
Instead, JJ dropped her knees to the ground and curled up into a ball, willing her blush to disappear. “Hello, Emily,” she grumbled. She knew she couldn’t stay there like that forever, even if she wanted to. JJ slowly stretched her arms out in front of her, allowing her chest to drop to the ground as she listened to Emily walk around the room. She sat up to a kneeling position, keeping her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. She could do this, she could play that last part off as part of her routine, not gay panic so intense she had to assume the fetal position. When she opened her eyes she wished she had just stayed curled up forever. Maybe she could go back, and change her mailing address to Second Floor Bedroom, Middle of Nowhere, Franklin, Alaska. But her body betrayed her, not moving an inch as she stared up at Emily bent over in front of her, rifling through her go bag that rested on a chair in the corner. Still in that damn towel. Didn’t they make towels with more fabric these days? This was obscene.
“Sorry, I forgot my pajamas out here so I-” Emily stopped talking abruptly when she turned around and faced JJ. “JJ, are you feeling alright? Your face is super flushed.”
JJ kept staring, dumbfounded for a moment. “Hmm? Oh, yeah. You know. Upside down,” she gestured uselessly down to the mat. How was she ever qualified to be a media liaison?
Emily looked at her doubtfully. “Um, okay. Well, I brought Dramamine if you need it. Maybe you should try a shower, you really don’t look well. I promise I left you some hot water.”
“Yeah, thanks,” JJ mumbled. She got up and kicked her yoga towel to the side instead of folding it like she usually did. Keeping her eyes glued to the ground, she gathered her pajamas from her side of the bed as quickly as she could.
In the steamy bathroom, behind the safety of the locked door, JJ leaned against the counter and let out a long breath. She was a mess. Emily had a way of flustering her without even knowing it, she was so caring that she had just assumed JJ was sick, not imagining completely in appropriate scenarios. The shower squealed to life as she turned the water on, letting steam rise back into the air again. The mirror was already completely covered, JJ watched her own vague outline as she stripped out of her bra, pants, and underwear, then twisted her ponytail into a loose bun. She pulled a towel out of the cabinet under the sink and hung it on the hook next to the shower. Stepping under the water she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to decide whether she wanted that image of
Emily erased from her brain or if she should start trying to memorize everything she could right now.
JJ let the hot water cascade over her skin, steam curling around her as she reached for the body wash Emily had left behind. She lathered it over her arms, across her stomach, up her throat—breathing in the scent that was so unmistakably Emily. She breathed in deeply. It smelled like Emily always did, soft, musky, and a little sweet. She flipped the bottle around, ready to memorize the brand and scent so she could guiltily smell it every time she went to the grocery store, playing it off as she sniffed all the other soaps in the aisle. Teakwood and tobacco. JJ allowed herself a fleeting swipe over her core as she smelled the soap, not surprised to find herself slick and pulsing. The water hitting the tub covered the sound of her gasp but when it suddenly turned cold, couldn’t hide her shriek. That’s one way to get a cold shower.
Before Emily could worry, she shouted out to her “Emily Elizabeth, you BARELY left me hot water.”
She could faintly hear Emily’s cackle, just as evil muffled through the bathroom door as it was close up. JJ turned the water off and toweled off quickly, hoping the rapid movements would warm her up. She pulled a soft white t-shirt over her head and stepped into a pair of old boxers. If she had known she would be sharing a room with Emily she would have packed something a little nicer. Even in the steam of the bathroom, the air felt a little chillier, she hung her towel back on the hook and shuffled out into the room in search of a sweatshirt and some wool socks.
Emily sat up in bed with both pillows behind her back, lit only by the lamp on her bedside table, and reading JJ’s book. Her legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankle, glasses perched on the tip of her nose. She would look very distinguished if she weren’t holding a book full of fantasy smut. JJ scoffed even as a small smile played at her lips.
“Fond of sharing, are we?” JJ asked as she crossed the room.
Emily looked up, response already on the tip of her tongue. “Only with you, Jareau.”
The smirk on Emily’s lips died as her eyes lingered on JJ’s chest. JJ looked down, confused as to what Emily could be looking at. Then, she saw it, two small metal balls on either side of each of her nipples were prominent under the thin shirt. She had her nipples pierced for so long that she often forgot that the silver bars were even there.
Emily cleared her throat and changed the subject. “Did you have a nice shower?” Her high cheekbones were dusted with pink and JJ watched her eyes dart around the room. Curious.
“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind but I helped myself to your soap. I didn’t feel like unpacking my toiletry bag yet.” And I love how you smell.
“Consider it my apology for the cold water,” Emily said quietly as she licked her now bare lips.
JJ ignored the butterflies in her stomach at the tone and pulled her old college hoodie out of the closet. Georgetown blue with a faded bulldog on the back and the ornate logo over her left chest, it was her favorite. She pulled it on as she crossed back to the dresser, finding the pair of striped wool socks she never traveled anywhere without.
JJ steeled herself, and acting as casually as possible she walked around her side of the bed. She pulled back as much of the covers as she could with Emily sitting on top of them, then, fast and sneaky she grabbed one of the pillows behind Emily’s back and yanked. Emily fell back a few inches and glared at JJ as she rubbed her lower back and tried to use the single pillow she had left to create a thicker barrier between her and the metal rungs of the headboard.
“Rude,” Emily sulked.
JJ rolled her eyes playfully and settled into the bed. She held her hand out to Emily expectantly, waiting for her book to fall into her hand. Emily just looked down at her, expression unreadable.
“Em.”
“Hmm?”
“My book please.”
Emily still just watched her. When her mouth twisted into a roguish smile, JJ knew she was in trouble. “Mmm, no,” Emily pulled the book closer to her chest. “I was reading it! Besides, I forgot mine back on the plane.”
“Liar, I can see it in your bag from here.” JJ didn’t know what Emily was playing at.
“Fine. But I was enjoying it. I’m more in the mood for a fantasy than Dostoevsky anyway,” Emily said, her bottom lip creeping out into a pout as she talked. JJ wanted to bite it.
“If you’re going to read my book you might as well read out loud.” Unable to really say no to Emily, JJ resigned.
Emily graciously flipped to the dog-eared page halfway through the book. She read to her in a low gravelly voice, only stuttering slightly when it became obvious that the book was sapphic. For a few pages, she didn’t make a comment. JJ forgot to be worried about what Emily might think, she relaxed into the story, lulled by the way Emily read smoothly and confidently. JJ had almost drifted off to sleep when Emily went silent for a few moments and then set the book in her lap. Ah yes, the smut scene JJ had already read more times than she could count. She wasn’t sure if she was grateful that Emily stopped or if she was disappointed she couldn’t hear the words she already knew so well from Emily’s mouth.
“What does Will think of you reading all this sapphic smut?” Emily asked. JJ would have thought she was just teasing her if she didn’t catch the probing in the question.
“It’s not Will’s business,” JJ paused as she steeled herself to admit what she had been hiding from her best friend. “At least not anymore, we split months ago.” Somehow it felt easier to admit in this quiet room, staring at the ceiling and feeling the warmth radiating off Emily’s left side.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Emily’s question was quiet, the hurt in her tone overwhelmed by concern for JJ.
JJ let out a deep breath, not sure what to say. “I didn’t want you to worry about me. I didn’t want my split with him to ruin how things are, to change how the team sees me.”
“JJ, they wouldn’t see you any differently. We all know what a good mom you are, how you’ll do anything to make sure Henry is happy.”
“And you?” JJ nearly whispered the question, afraid of the answer.
“JJ how could this change what I think about you? When you got together with Will it didn’t change how I fell about you, it certainly won’t change now that you aren’t with him. You’ve always been my best friend, I just want to be there for you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” JJ said sadly. Her mind couldn’t help but catch on the word “feel”. Surely Emily didn’t mean anything by it, friends feel things for friends. Friendly things. And they were best friends, Emily said it herself. Just friends.
Emily dropped a hand to JJ’s head, gently brushing her bangs out of her face. “It’s alright Jay, I suspected anyway. I just want you to know you can tell me anything.”
“Yeah,” JJ whispered, knowing she was keeping a dangerous secret from her best friend. One that could ruin their friendship.
Emily set JJ’s book on her own bedside table and turned out the lamp, shrouding the room in darkness. The only light was a faint glow from the moonlight sifting through the gauzy curtains, casting Emily’s sharp features in a soft, pale glow. She settled down in the covers next to JJ, their shoulders touching so lightly JJ could almost convince herself Emily wasn’t there. Then Emily shifted and she could feel her knees against her thigh, could sense her eyes on her profile.
“Can you imagine growing up somewhere like this? Everyone knows each other. The Sheriff seems so heartbroken that someone he probably has helped raise could do something so brutal, so wrong,” Emily contemplated in the dark.
“Actually, yeah,” JJ chuckled mirthfully, “East Allegheny is a little bigger than Franklin but we lived the same way. I never came out as bisexual until after I left for college, even then I only told my mom. She was so kind and accepting but at the time I was so scared that if I told one person, everyone would know and everything that mattered to me would change.”
“I didn’t know.” JJ wasn’t sure if Emily was talking about her being from a small town or bisexual, this was new territory.
“Yeah well, I started finding secret ways to be myself. Small pieces of freedom. I read a lot of books like this one, listened to rock while I told everyone I listened to pop, these,” she gestured to her chest. The piercings had been impulsive, she went into the shop alone at 16 with a fake ID and the intention of piercing her bellybutton. While she waited she had a “fuck it” moment, deciding that if she was going to get a piercing, it might as well be the most painful one. And it might as well be two. She spent the rest of the evening regretting it, sneaking a bag of frozen peas to her room and holding them against her newly pierced and sensitive nipples. As the pain subsided they had grown on her, and JJ had kept them until she was pregnant with Henry. When she and Will split up she got them pierced again, reclaiming that piece of freedom.
Emily laughed. “A quiet rebel, I like it.”
Emily was quiet for a few minutes, so long that JJ thought she had fallen asleep. Then, she started speaking in a hushed voice, so quiet that JJ had to face her to hear her properly.
“My mom wasn’t like that, I guess I was kind of obvious growing up. I didn’t need to tell her I was a lesbian, she knew there was something different about me and that was the worst crime I could commit. So, I leaned into it, if she was going to hate me I wanted to at least have some fun. I mean, you saw that old school photo Garcia dug up. I really committed to the bit.” Her chuckle wasn’t free of mirth.
JJ stopped breathing at the admission. Her heart raced knowing that Emily was a lesbian, that finding JJ attractive wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. Then, it broke, imagining that lonely teenager doing whatever she could to feel something other than the shame of her mother. JJ shifted her head on the pillow, moving closer to Emily. They were so close now that JJ could feel Emily’s soft, minty breath across her face, and could smell the body wash they both used warmed by Emily’s skin. JJ reached up and moved a damp strand of hair off of Emily’s cheek. Emily’s eyes were dark, unreadable, and maybe a little sad. Just as beautiful as when they were laughing.
“Hey,” JJ whispered. She meant to say something like it’s alright or it’s over now or I love you. Well, maybe not that last one, but it screamed inside her anyway. Instead, she said nothing, glancing down at Emily’s lips, watching her tongue peek out and wet the small space between them.
“Hey,” Emily whispered back. She was looking at JJ with such intensity that JJ’s heart threatened to stop, tripping as it raced. In the pale moonlight, her eyes seemed to soak up the darkness around them, shining out almost black. Emily shifted closer to her then, noses almost brushing. She looked at JJ’s mouth then too. Long enough that JJ noticed. Long enough that she couldn’t deny it. JJ lifted her head up off the pillow, so drawn in by Emily’s eyes that she forgot to be afraid she would do something wrong. This was Emily after all, her best friend and the woman she had been secretly infatuated with since the moment they met. She moved into Emily’s space, surely, softly. Slowly, she brushed her nose against Emily’s, her lips tingling as she felt the soft, irregular breathing moving onto them, through the cool air. So close, she was close. Centimeters now and she felt a soft, shuddering sigh escape her own mouth. That’s when they heard the scream.
JJ jumped, accidentally kicking Emily in the shin.
“Ow, Jen!”
Her stomach fluttered at the nickname but JJ waved her off, moving quickly to the window to see if she could see who made the noise. Then they heard it again, it was Penelope screaming for help over and over again. Emily launched out of bed, throwing her sweater on over her pajama shirt, not even bothering with a bra. She stepped back into her jeans which were still lying haphazardly on the ground, grabbing her gun from inside the nightstand and clipping it to her hip.
Moving just as quickly, hands shaking from the adrenaline of being so close to Emily and hearing one of her closest friends screaming, JJ grabbed her own gun. Emily was almost out the door by the time she pulled her jeans out of the dresser and changed. JJ stepped into her boots and rushed downstairs, a few steps behind Emily. The screaming had stopped and JJ didn’t breathe until she saw Derek walking inside with his arm around Penelope while she cried into his chest. He made eye contact with Emily and nodded his head toward the door. She continued outside to investigate, leaving JJ alone with Derek and Penelope.
***
Penelope had seen the unsub and held one of his victims while he died. Used to the safety of her screens, the tech analyst was shaken by the event. JJ had followed her upstairs after Pen stormed away from Derek, refusing to do a cognitive interview. Now she sat on the edge of the bed in Penelope’s room while her friend scrubbed blood from underneath her colorful fingernails. Her mind was racing—thoughts of Penelope and the unsub battled against the constant replay of lying in bed with Emily. She knew they wouldn’t get any sleep tonight; she doubted she would have been able to anyway.
JJ was startled when Penelope sank down onto the bed next to her.
“Hey you,” JJ recovered, bumping her shoulder against her friend.
Penelope gave her a weak smile in return. “I should probably apologize to Morgan, huh?”
“Hey baby girl, I was only trying to help. You know I’m just worried about you, hot mama,” JJ deepened her voice, giving a terrible impression of the man she knew was pacing downstairs anxiously.
Despite herself, a giggle slipped out of Penelope. She settled back onto the pillow and pulled her laptop into her lap. “No rest for the wicked good tech analyst,” she sighed.
JJ raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s the saying.”
The team worked through the night. JJ kept Penelope company and reviewed the profiles of all of the victims, including the man who had been murdered the night before. It was late afternoon now, and the Sheriff’s department was gathered at Carol’s tavern while Hotch, Rossi, and Emily delivered the profile. It sounded the same as it did on every case they worked—JJ let the words pass by while she watched Emily in the late afternoon sun. Her hair wasn’t so dark in this light, auburn streaks highlighted strands near her face and at the crown of her head, bleached by the sun. Her jaw was set in grim determination, and her delicate fingers tapped a pen against the table, betraying her restless energy. When she spoke, her voice was firm and her countenance sharp. But when she looked at JJ, her face softened, and her brown eyes twinkled out at her from behind long dark lashes. JJ’s breath caught in her throat at the eye contact, and Emily had the nerve to smirk even as a blush crept over her cheeks.
***
It wasn’t long after the profile was delivered that they made an arrest. Carol’s son had pulled Rossi aside and anxiously asked him if the killer could be in their late teens. It turned out that one of his friends, a 19-year-old boy he had considered to be like his younger brother, fit the profile perfectly. When Hotch and Rossi had gone to the boy’s parents’ house, he was nowhere to be found. His mother broke down and admitted that he had come home covered in blood the night before. They determined that he would be in his hunting blind in the woods behind the town.
This led to a heart-pounding sprint through the woods where the team, save Garcia and JJ, raced to head the boy off from moving deeper into the wilderness. JJ waited anxiously—she and Garcia gripped each other’s hands tightly until Hotch called Garcia to tell her that Emily had caught the boy and tackled him to the ground. Garcia alerted local law enforcement and made arrangements for the team to travel home the next morning. It was too late for the float planes to take off and deliver them to the nearest airport, and the team had sleep to catch up on.
JJ dragged herself up the stairs, exhaustion creeping over her. She sat in the chair in the corner of her room, dropping her head into her hands with a sigh as she let her body relax. The door clicked open, and she heard Emily’s boot steps fill the room. JJ lifted her head, balancing her chin on her thumbs and resting her pointer fingers across her lips. A small smile came over her lips as Emily sank onto the bed across from JJ.
“How are you feeling?” JJ asked as Emily groaned and rubbed her neck.
“Ugh, I’m getting too old for all this running around in the woods,” Emily sighed.
“You were very brave today, you know.”
“Just another day on the job.”
“Yeah, but you deserve to be told. You did a good job.”
Emily flushed at that, and JJ saw her eyes drop to her mouth as her bottom lip dragged across her fingers in the process of lifting her head up. Emily licked her own lips then, her pupils dilating.
“I’m going to shower. Unless you need anything, Agent Prentiss?” JJ teased Emily in an attempt to break the tension.
“J-just come here for a moment,” Emily stuttered.
JJ stood up, taking a step toward where Emily sat on the bed. Emily made no move to stand up, wiping her palms down her thighs. “Closer,” she whispered.
Another heavy step forward put JJ directly in front of Emily, looking down at her as Emily looked up. Her lips were parted, her eyes pleading. Instead of saying anything, she reached up and grasped the wrinkled fabric of JJ’s jeans behind her knees, and with a small tug, she pulled her another centimeter closer. The message was clear enough for the blond woman. Reaching forward, she took Emily’s face in her hands and gently cradled her jaw. She leaned down and brushed her nose against Emily’s, remembering the night before. It felt like days ago now.
“Is this what you wanted, Emily?” she whispered gently against the dark pink lips that haunted her thoughts.
Emily just huffed and tugged on JJ’s jeans again with a small whine.
JJ finally—finally—closed the distance. She slotted her top lip between Emily’s and gently sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. JJ’s hands shook while she traced her fingers from Emily’s jaw down her neck to her collarbones. She pulled back slightly, looking into Emily’s blown pupils and grinning. Unable to resist, JJ dipped her head back down, kissing Emily deeper. A moan resounded in JJ’s chest when she dipped her tongue into Emily’s mouth and was met with a sigh.
Emily’s hands slid up the back of JJ’s thighs, and short nails dragged back down.
Spurred on, the kiss turned hungry. Their breathing was heavy. JJ grasped the back of Emily’s neck as she crawled into her lap. Emily’s hands moved from the back of her legs to JJ’s ass, and JJ let out a moan, moving her lips from Emily’s mouth to her jaw.She followed the sharp line to her earlobe, sucking the tender flesh into her mouth and biting down gently. Emily slid her hands above JJ’s belt, scratching gently at the exposed skin of her lower back. JJ felt heat pool in between her legs and stretch up to her neck. Emily’s hands gripping her tightly she moved JJ’s hips forward, helping her grind down on her crooked belt buckle.
Emily, Emily, Emily thrummed in her veins again. It was too much. It wasn’t enough. Her hands slipped into Emily’s hair, scratching and gripping with the desperation she felt deep in her core. She felt her belt tighten briefly around her waist before hearing the buckle come undone. Emily was scrabbling at her jeans, clumsily undoing the button, then trembling as she struggled with the zipper. JJ laughed breathily and pulled off her, Emily’s fingers didn’t leave her fly. Suddenly the older woman looked up, doubt creeping into her eyes.
“Is this okay?” She whispered.
JJ didn’t reply at first, responding instead by pulling her shirt up over her head. Emily stared at the cleavage pushed together by a sheer black bra, silver piercings glinting behind the lace in the low light. Still, she didn’t move. JJ wrapped her hand around Emily’s, gliding her fly down, then grasping her waistband she slid the jeans down her long, tan legs. Every inch of skin that was revealed erupted in goosebumps in the cool air. Her underwear matched her bra, lacy, black, and cheeky, she knew they clung to her slim hips and showed off her ass.
“God, Jennifer, you’re beautiful,” Emily whispered. She reached up and placed her hands on her hips.
“Em, please,” JJ couldn’t help the whine that came from somewhere low in her stomach.
Emily pulled JJ onto her lap, the feeling of the belt buckle against her heat was deliciously cool and sent tingles down to JJ’s toes. Emily’s palms slid up her sides and over her ribcage, fingers scraping along her bra strap. JJ leaned forward and pushed her chest against Emily’s, seeking friction against the turtle neck she wore. The cashmere tickled through the holes in the lace and when she moved more firmly against Emily, it scratched and rubbed in just the right way. By the time Emily undid her bra clasp and slid the fabric over her arms, JJ’s nipples were already hard around her piercings. Reverently cupping JJ’s left breast, Emily lowered her head and kissed the soft, heavy skin near her hand. She followed a curved, slow path toward JJ’s nipple, sucking, biting, and licking her was over the sensitive expanse. When Emily finally wrapped her warm mouth around JJ’s nipple, JJ was shaking from the restraint of trying not to slider her own hand down her underwear and ride her fingers. She let out a sharp gasp of pleasure when Emily sucked and slid her teeth over her piercing.
“Jenifer-fuck this is hot. JJ, jesus, please just keep- keep moving like that.” Emily panted around JJ’s nipple, still licking and sucking like she couldn’t get enough. JJ was grinding down on her lap, trying to relieve some of the pressure building up in her cunt. Emily moved her hips with her other hand, pushing it down the back of her underwear and digging her nails into her ass. She was about to beg for more, arch her back so that Emily’s fingers could slide down her ass and find her entrance when Emily used her hold to roll them over. JJ wrapped her legs around her waist and chased the denim and the belt that were now on top of her, grinding firmly. Emily kissed her way down her stomach, backing up until she knelt at the edge of the bed. She placed open-mouth kisses over JJ’s underwear, exhaling hot air through the fabric over her clit. JJ felt the warmth travel up through her neck, heating her scalp.
Then, Emily stood up, taking a single step back while she watched JJ pull herself to the head of the bed. JJ sat up, watching as Emily pulled her sweater over her head. She wore a red t-shirt bra underneath, her breasts almost spilling over the top. Emily undid the clasp behind her back and let the bra drop to the floor. Her breasts were full and round, her dusky nipples puckering as manicured nails slid around them. When Emily’s hands moved to her belt, JJ could feel the intensity radiating out of her own eyes. Over her fly, a wet patch stained and darkened the denim from where JJ was riding Emily. JJ knew her eyes would be dark now, almost all pupil expanded in her deep blue irises as she watched Emily from the head of the bed. It’s how she looked in the mirror every time she washed her hands after she came thinking about Emily. Undoing her belt buckle, Emily hooked her fingers in her waistband, not even bothering with the button before pushing her jeans and underwear to the floor. Emily stood in front of her naked now, hands following the path up her torso JJ’s own took in the shower as she washed herself the night before. Stomach, breasts, neck, all pale and soft in the dim light of the room. JJ slipped her finger down the front of her underwear, stroking over the soft curls before dipping lower to find slick wet heat. She moaned as she watched Emily push her fingers through her dark hair, pulling it up into a loose bun. Before she could slide her fingers further down her cunt, JJ was pulled down the bed by her ankles. Spread out in front of Emily now, her fingers faltered. Emily’s eyes devoured her, pulling her apart piece by piece.
“No, keep going,” she rasped from above JJ, “I want to see how you touch yourself. I want to know if I imagined it correctly.”
JJ’s cheeks burned at the suggestion, her mouth going dry and then wetting rapidly as she felt Emily’s heavy gaze drag up her legs.
“You know, I think about you,” JJ whispered, moving her fingers under the lace, using her other hand to pull the gusset aside so Emily could watch. “I almost touched myself last night while you were in the bathroom. I did touch myself in the shower after seeing you in that tiny towel. I probably would have let myself cum if the water hadn’t gone cold.
Emily swallowed, fingers stuttering through the light circles she traced over JJ’s ankles. She cleared her throat, the words barely making it out, “I should have left more hot water.”
Instead of chuckling, JJ let out a short, breathy huff of air. As close to a laugh as she could manage when the air hung heavily around her, outside her lungs. Her fingers still traced circles over and around her clit while Emily dragged the rough lace down her thighs and onto the floor. Before she could beg to be touched again, Emily crawled up the bed over her. One arm above her shoulder, one gripping her waist, Emily hiked one knee over JJ’s hip, leaving the other leg long behind her and sliding it between JJ’s thighs. The older woman’s weight settled over her and she captured JJ’s mouth in a devastating kiss. Emily’s soft, feminine hip ground over JJ’s slick pussy with a pressure that sent sparks crackling behind her eyes and caused her grip to tighten in Emily’s hair. Emily whimpered into her mouth, her forehead wrinkling against JJ’s as her eyebrows drew together in a desperate expression.
JJ took pity and pulled Emily’s other leg over her hip. She pressed on the backs of her thighs until the brunette took the hint and shuffled toward the headboard.
“JJ, you don’t have to-” Emily was cut off when JJ shuffled the extra two inches toward the end of the bed, reaching her head up, and licking a long stripe through Emily’s wet sex. JJ wasn’t as hesitant as she thought she would be. She was hungry. God, she tasted good. Warm and musky, Emily’s taste perfectly complimented the scent of her body wash, warmed and mostly rubbed off between her thighs. JJ knew she would need this again and again. She would need to feel Emily’s hips begin to grind against her tongue, while her thighs twitched under her fingers, and her clit pulsed in her mouth as many more times as she could. Emily’s wetness dripped down her chin, combining with JJ’s drool which leaked from the corners of her mouth. On its path, some pooled in the hollow of her throat, spilling the rest of the way down her neck as JJ panted. Emily gripped the metal arch of the headboard for support, riding JJ’s tongue now. Her thighs shook with the effort and JJ did her best to help her by gripping her ass and encouraging her movements. All hesitation forgotten, Emily dropped her head back and let out sweet, quiet moans.
“Jen, baby, I’m gonna cum. I fucking love your tongue, ohmygod please don’t stop,” the expletives rose in volume and pitch until Emily stiffened. She gasped sharply when JJ supported her ass and kept fucking her with her tongue, her nose pressed into Emily’s clit throbbing above her. JJ did her best to hold her still as Emily’s hips canted, jerking and shuddering through the aftershocks of the orgasm.
When her legs relaxed, Emily moved back to sit on her heels over JJ’s chest. JJ smiled up at her from between her legs, using one thumb to gently stroke over Emily’s clit. It was strange how affectionate the movement felt.
“Hmm, maybe that’s what you wanted,” JJ mused, cocky in Emily’s afterglow.
Emily scoffed and grinned, “That was better than anything I could have hoped for. You are feral, Jareau.”
JJ laughed, feeling every bit as wild as Emily accused her of. Her thighs were still clenching and rubbing against each other, trying to quell the need that boiled there. Legs slid down her torso and Emily’s mouth was back on hers. She licked into her mouth deeply, searching for every trace of her own flavor. Emily slid open-mouthed kisses over JJ’s chin, then moved down to lick her neck from the hollow of her throat up to her ear where she sucked and bit the flesh as JJ had done to her earlier.
Emily slipped a hand between JJ’s thighs, tracing the soft skin there. JJ was soaked, she could feel the wet spot under her ass growing and the way Emily’s fingers glided over her inner thighs. She spread her legs as wide as she could between Emily’s knees, shamelessly encouraging her partner’s long fingers higher.
“Is this you begging, Jenny?” Emily looked wicked above her. It was the hottest thing JJ had ever seen. “I think you can do better than that.”
JJ whimpered, squirming under Emily’s too-light, teasing touch. Finally, desperate, and with dignity long forgotten in the haze of arousal, JJ really and truly begged.
“Please, please take care of me, baby. I promise it won’t take long, I want you so bad. I am so easy for you, Emily, please,” JJ's eyes were closed, she was whining and gripping the sheets so tightly that her fingers ached.
“So nice. Look me in the eyes and ask again,” Emily whispered.
JJ opened her eyes, meeting Emily’s. They were dark, something intense and untamed swirling in them while JJ panted under her. “Please fuck me. Please, Emily. I’ll do anything you want, I just need your fingers.”
A slow dangerous smile spread across Emily’s face and she reached up and pushed JJ’s sweaty bangs off her forehead.
“That’s it. I knew you’d be even prettier when you beg,” she mused.
JJ almost came on the spot. A soft finger traced its way lightly over her slit while Emily kissed her neck, more teeth than lips. The contrast in sensation wound JJ even tighter, her body was in overdrive while her mind went blank. She had to look away from Emily’s intense, hungry gaze before she lost control too soon. Instead, she memorized the flush on her cheeks, her swollen lips whose lipstick had long since been smeared off onto JJ’s lips, neck, and breasts. She glanced down to where Emily’s fingers circled her clit and saw pink smudges where Emily had kissed her hips and thighs earlier. Shit, not helping.
Finally, Emily pushed a finger inside of her, adding another after a few blissful strokes. JJ reached up, squeezing Emily’s breast and swiping her thumb over her nipple, desperate for something to ground herself. Emily just moved her head down and gently began sucking on JJ’s breast again. The quiet click of metal against teeth joined JJ’s soft sighs and her cunt clenched around Emily’s fingers.
“More,” she pleaded, not caring how desperate she sounded.
Emily steadily added a third finger. The stretch was incredible, JJ ground down against her fingers and held Emily’s head to keep her mouth around her nipple. Emily’s fingers curled inside her again and again, shattering her. JJ came in pulsing waves that made her toes curl and her scalp tingle. Emily fucked her through it, drawing her orgasm out for what felt like an eternity. Slowly drawing her fingers out, Emily lifted them to JJ’s mouth, watching with rapt attention as JJ sucked all three fingers to the back of her throat and swirling her tongue between them.
“Wow,” was all Emily said.
“Smooth, Emily. We know who isn’t media trained here,” JJ joked after she pulled off Emily’s fingers.
“Hey!” Emily swatted at her hip as she broke out into a grin. “Be nice. After that, I don’t have any brain cells left. You just ruined me for everyone else, I’m allowed to sound a little dumb.”
“Yeah?” A soft smile came over JJ’s face.
“Yeah,” Emily whispered. “Now let’s get you cleaned up. You’re a mess.”
“A hot mess,” JJ corrected her.
“Yes, a hot mess.”
***
The shower was hot and relaxing, steaming up the mirror while JJ leaned back against Emily’s chest in the spray. Emily had cleaned her up like she promised, washing her hair, scrubbing over her scalp, and combing through the tangles with an intimacy JJ was afraid to name. Emily’s hair stayed up in a bun, small tendrils sticking to her neck and face. JJ had washed Emily’s body too, massaging her shoulders and neck in the process. Turning the water off before it went cold, the women stepped out of the tub and crowded together on the bathmat. JJ grabbed her towel off the hook, throwing it over Emily’s head before reaching into the cabinet for a new one. Emily’s towel was still crumpled on the floor next to the bed from the night before. Who knew she could be so messy?
Once they were dried off, Emily sat on the bed and brushed through JJ’s hair in comfortable silence while JJ sat on the floor between her knees. She pulled the leave-in conditioner out of JJ’s toiletry bag and combed it through before weaving the hair into a neat braid. When she was done, JJ let her head drop to the inside of Emily’s knee, kissing the soft skin there lightly and closing her eyes. Eventually, she stood up, turning around to face Emily.
“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” she admitted. “Not just the sex, but this.” She gestured between them.
“Me too,” Emily smiled softly as she said it.
They shared a gentle kiss, saying more with their mouths than they could verbalize. They peeled back the wet quilt, leaving just a thin blanket and a sheet on the bed.
“I’m going to freeze my ass off,” JJ grumbled.
“You’ll warm up soon. Faster if you took your clothes off,” Emily winked.
JJ turned her head slowly, raising an eyebrow. “Did you just quote Twilight at me after fucking me into oblivion?”
“What?” Emily asked innocently. “It was relevant!”
They giggled as they settled into the covers. Emily wrapped herself around JJ’s body, her head resting on her chest. It was comfortable and more natural than it should have been this early. JJ didn’t mind though—this was Emily. Soon, Emily’s breathing deepened and slowed, lulling JJ into a heavy, dreamless sleep.
***
The next morning, they woke with the sun, still tangled in each other. Looking over at the small alarm clock on her nightstand, JJ sighed in relief that they still had an hour before they needed to meet the team in the main room of the tavern. As gently as she could, JJ slipped out of bed and got dressed. She pulled on her jeans from the day before, a clean shirt, and a sweater. After brushing her teeth and doing her makeup, she left the room as quietly as possible.
Returning a few minutes later with coffee, she found Emily still asleep in bed. Setting the mugs on the bedside table, she leaned down and kissed the woman she loved on the head. There was something warmer in this domesticity than she had ever experienced—even with Will.
“‘Lo there, sunshine,” JJ murmured down at her.
“‘Lo, gorgeous,” Emily mumbled back.
“Time to get up. I have coffee on the nightstand for you. I have to run back downstairs and help Penelope clean up her tech setup, but I’ll be back in a few to pack.”
Emily grunted in reply, burying her head in the pillows. JJ just kissed her hair again with a smile.
***
Emily was packed and driving with Reid and Rossi to the float plane by the time JJ rushed up the stairs to pack again. They were flying out to the main airport in two separate float planes, and in the chaos and tangle of Penelope’s cords, JJ had missed Emily leaving for the first. She cleaned out the small closet, emptied the drawers, and did one last sweep of the room. At the nightstand, she picked up the ring she had forgotten to put back on in the early morning haze. Instead of sliding it onto her finger, JJ threaded it through her necklace. It felt better there, resting against her chest like Henry's head when she rocked him to sleep. Her bag felt a little lighter than when they had arrived, but she couldn’t see anything left behind. Emily had already stripped the bed, gathered the towels into a pile for the tavern owner, and left a large tip on her nightstand. JJ blushed when she realized that Carol would inevitably find the dirty quilt at the bottom of the pile.
Back downstairs, Hotch, JJ, Garcia, and Morgan thanked the woman and said their goodbyes. The float plane was quiet except for the roar of the engines—the peace that settled over them after a case was heavy and often too short-lived.
When they arrived at the airport, the others were already loaded into the jet that was running on the tarmac. Walking down the wide aisle, JJ spotted Emily sitting at the back of the plane, facing away from her. As she leaned forward to move a piece on the chessboard she studied with Reid, JJ saw the faded bulldog barking over a Georgetown blue sweatshirt.
Her heart stuttered.
Emily may as well have paid for a billboard saying that she and JJ were together.
JJ leaned down and whispered into her ear as she settled into the seat beside her, “Fond of sharing, are we?”
Emily turned and grinned at her. “Only with you,” she echoed from their conversation two nights ago.
They would still need to talk when they got back, but this answered her most pressing, stomach-churning questions. Emily wanted her. Emily wanted to tell people. This could work out.
Emily picked up the blanket across her lap and spread some over JJ. Emily’s warm hand comfortably laced with JJ’s under the blanket as if she had done it a thousand times. As if it was the most natural thing in the world.
After they took off, the hum of the engines, the warm blanket, and the comfort of Emily’s hand made her eyes heavy and her brain slow. She unconsciously settled her head onto Emily’s shoulder, drifting off to sleep as the woman whispered into her hair.
“I love you, JJ.”