Chapter Text
Harry could only blame himself.
In retrospective, poking Tom by playing with his obvious hatred over Albus Dumbledore was one of the worst ideas Harry ever had.
Who in their right mind would intentionally poke fun of a sixteen years old Dark Lord in the first place?
Harry apparently...
Then again, he was not of sound mind.
Who in sound mind would think said sixteen years old Dark Lord actually looks dashing when angered in the first place?!
It was official.
Harry was mad.
Madder than the Mad Hatter high on the substance the damn Caterpillar smokes even...
The fact that he could even muse about his insanity while running away from a bloody Basilisk was evidence that he was mad.
"There’s nowhere to run, Potter!"
Harry really, really wanted to punch Tom.
All he needed was a moment. Just a single moment and he would punch that smug look off that prat's face.
And probably hurt himself in the process...
Those cheekbones really, really look like they could cut glass.
Loud chitters resounded all around the chambers and Harry raised his head in time to see Fawkes swoop in from the entrance.
Speaking of said bird...
Was there any reason why it had given him the bloody Sorting Hat instead of a bloody wand or a rooster for Merlin's sake?!
Fawkes began flying over the Basilisk, trying to peck its eyes. The Basilisk forgot all about Harry and tried catching the bird with its mouth. That was all the distraction Harry needed.
Hoping that Dumbledore's chicken would keep the Basilisk busy with enough time, Harry rushed towards Tom. Tom, who had been too busy staring at Dumbledore's phoenix, did not even notice Harry until he felt Harry's fist collide with his cheek. Tom lost his balance and skidded across the floor, letting go of Harry's wand. Harry screamed out in pain and clutched his fist as he snarled, "Are your cheekbones made of Adamantium?!"
"You hit me!" Tom retorted with big wide eyes which just looked... weeelll... kinda adorable on him if Harry was being honest.
Harry was about to give a snarky retort when he noticed Tom's eyes quickly glance in front of him. Harry followed his eyes and saw his wand on the floor, right between the two of them. Tom scrambled for the wand at the same time Harry dove to the floor.
Harry was just a second quicker than Tom (and probably scratched his knees in the process) and he had already raised his wand towards Tom before Tom could scramble back. Tom glared at him and Harry simply stared back, both of them breathing heavily.
Harry knew what he had to do.
Now that Fawkes was here, it only meant that Dumbledore knew he was here.
He needed to take Tom out of the picture now.
If he wanted to survive... if he wanted to continue playing as Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the idiot Gryffindor who was Dumbledore's pet...
Tom needed to die.
He already knew the spell. Tom had been helpful in teaching him about the Unforgivables.
He could easily lie and tell Dumbledore he had panicked. He had already mastered how to look like a traumatized boy. It had helped him when he would 'accidentally' use his magic to push those bullying him away from him too far and too fast. People rarely ask him anything when he looked like he had just been as surprised and as frightened as the rest of them.
Harry knew Dumbledore was too much of a fool, too much of an idealist, to doubt Harry. He needed Harry to be good so he would easily believe that Harry had just been pushed too hard, that it had been a crime of passion, and that Harry hadn't meant to kill Tom at all.
That last one... Harry didn't even have to fake.
Why? Why the bloody hell did Fawkes have to arrive?!
Why?! Why did Tom have to sic the bloody Basilisk on him?!
Why?!
Why was he hesitating?!
Tom was a liability now.
There is one person I have felt very strongly for.
Oh?
You.
His fondness for the diary didn't mean anything.
The fact that he was able to think of a way to help Tom gain a corporal body without jeopardizing his lie while they were talking (while Harry was goading him) did not mean anything.
I am not jesting. My time spent with you might still be quite small in comparison to my time spent with my friends but you are already one of my closest persons.
Attachment is a weakness.
Hasn't Harry survived his entire life because of that mentality?
Careful, dear, you're starting to sound like I'm the only thing you enjoy in life.
Would it be creepy if I said you're not exactly wrong about that?
His attachment to Tom was a weakness.
Look at him right now!
It's because of this attachment that he simply stares, simply observes Tom as Tom stares back at him.
It's because of attachment that...
If I am the only thing you enjoy in life, how about just spending your future with me instead?
He was jeopardizing everything he had built for one boy!
We could be together for all eternity.
He was jeopardizing his safety for a boy without any real assurance of his own survival!
I want you, Harry Potter.
He was jeopardizing this golden cage around him because of Tom Riddle!
Why?!
Because hope is the cruellest torture of all, Tom.
Oh Merlin's soggy balls!
"Your eternity better be worth it, Tom Riddle." Harry hissed with annoyance and frustration laced in every word. Tom's eyes widened and Harry turned, aiming his wand at Fawkes as he chanted calmly, "Avada Kedavra."
Green light spurted from his wand the same time elation coursed through Harry's entire body. The green light hit Fawkes, causing the phoenix to shrill loudly before burning in front of them before turning into ashes. The basilisk shook its head as it got hit by most of the ashes.
Harry fell on his knees, letting go of his wand.
He felt... relieved?
Was he relieved because, in some ways, he had broken free from the cage called 'Boy-Who-Lived'?
Was he relieved because he, in some way, betrayed Dumbledore?
Was he relieved because he considered killing Fawkes as some kind of symbolism for his desire to kill Dumbledore?
Kill Dumbledore?
How dull.
He didn't want to kill Dumbledore.
He may not like the old goat but killing him had never crossed Harry's mind.
He held no strong emotions for Dumbledore, positive or negative.
He didn't hold any strong emotions for anyone.
Wait...
That wasn't true...
Not anymore...
Wasn't the reason why he had just destroyed all of the lies he had created since last year because he couldn't let one measly insignificant attachment go?
Wasn't the reason why he was sitting in this cold floor, unsure of what to do right now because of the strong emotion he felt?
Oh Circe...
Emotions were too troublesome...
That thought made Harry snort.
Harry's shoulders began to tremble as he began to chuckle.
Before long, his chuckles became giggles, forcing Harry to cover his mouth.
Harry's giggles became a hysterical laugh.
He barely saw Tom crawl next to him. He barely felt Tom place his hand on his shoulder as he asked worriedly, "Harry?"
The voice of his master made the Basilisk turn towards them, baring its fangs as it slither towards Harry. Tom wrapped his arms around Harry possessively as he grabbed Harry's wand from the floor. He aimed it at the Basilisk as he ordered, "<<No! You will not harm this boy! >>"
Harry stopped giggling and stared at Tom, a bit uncomfortable in his cold arms.
He was so cold.
"<<He's not an enemy, Master? >>" The Basilisk asked, slithering closer but slower, watching the two boys with interest.
"<<No, he is not. >>" Tom replied, lowering the wand slightly as he added, "<<He's mine. >>"
"<<Still not yours, Tom. >>" Harry drawled without bite.
The Basilisk turned to stare at Harry, making Harry press his face on Tom's chest in an attempt to not look at the Basilisk's eyes. Tom instinctively tightened his hold on the younger boy while the Basilisk tilted its head.
Harry knew the Basilisk had mistaken Harry's sense of self-preservation as some kind of request for comfort and protection when the Basilisk asked, "<<He is... your mate? >>"
"<<Yes, he is. >>"
Harry could hear the smugness in Tom's voice so he punched him an inch below the ribs.
Tom's low groan of pain sounded like music to Harry's ears.
"<<I understand, master. >>" The Basilisk replied and slithered closer towards Harry.
Harry froze when he felt the Basilisk's tongue lick his neck and Tom rubbed his back as he whispered, "Sshhh, it’s okay. She's just memorizing your scent."
The Basilisk is a she?!
Did that mean there was a possibility that there were baby Basilisks hiding in here?
Aannnnddd that brought the mental image of an army of baby Basilisks invading Hogwarts...
Basilisk licked Harry's neck two more times before finally slithering towards Tom. Tom caressed the Basilisk's head gently, making the Basilisk hissed, "<<You're cold, Master. >>
Tom frowned and turned towards Harry as he asked, "<<Am I cold? >>"
"<<Like a corpse. >>" Harry deadpanned, raising his head slightly to grin at Tom.
Tom pinched Harry's cheek and pulled as he hissed, "I should punish you for your cheek, my dear."
Harry slapped Tom's hand before retorting, "And I should punish you for siccing your bloody Basilisk on me, you prat."
"You angered me." Tom hissed back, digging his nails on Harry's back.
Harry raised an eyebrow as he retorted, "You need to control your temper better, Tom. I heard you had the patience of a nesting dragon with eggs."
"I do not appreciate the mental image that makes, Harry." Tom said with a disgusted look.
Harry grinned at the mental image of Tom wearing a dragon costume while guarding a nest of eggs. Tom flicked Harry on the forehead as he ordered, "Stop imagining it."
Harry frowned and rubbed his forehead as he asked, "How did you know?"
Tom rolled his eyes as he drawled, "Because I know you, my dear Harry."
Tom patted the Basilisk's head twice before ordering, "<<Your help is much appreciated. Now, sleep once more, oh great Basilisk. >>"
The Basilisk bumped her head against Tom's palm before hissing, "<<Yes, my master. >>"
The Basilisk began slithering away from them, returning back to the mouth of Salazar Slytherin. Once Harry heard the mouth close once more, he pushed Tom off and huffed when the older boy kept his bruising grip on Harry's back, making Harry's attempt futile. Harry raised his head as he glared at Tom, "Mind letting me go now, Tom?"
"I would mind." Tom replied with a cocky smirk, resting his head against Harry's forehead as he said, "I rather like having you in my arms."
"You're too cold, Tom." Harry whined, trying to push the older boy off.
Unfortunately, Harry was just too physically weak compared to the smug Slytherin who seemed to be enjoying Harry's fruitless effort if that annoying cocky smirk was anything to go by. Harry huffed and smacked Tom on the shoulder before resting his forehead on the older boy's chest as he mumbled, "I hate you."
"No, you don't." Tom retorted smugly as he rested his chin on the top of Harry's head. He tightened his hold on the younger boy as he mumbled, "You don't know how deeply I have wanted to hold you for so long. To talk to you like this... To see the expressions you make while we talk..."
"Approaching creepy stalker territory again, Tom." Harry deadpanned but relaxed in his arms nonetheless.
It was frightening how relaxed he could become in Tom's presence.
Harry had never been this relaxed in anyone's presence at all.
"Would that make this Stockholm Syndrome, my dear Harry?" Tom playfully asked, caressing Harry's hair with one hand.
"Is that even applicable to our situation? You never kidnapped me in the first place." Harry reminded him, loosely wrapping his arms around Tom's waist as he continued, "Technically, you kidnapped Gin-"
Harry's eyes widened and he raised his head, yelping when the top of his head hit Tom's chin. Tom groaned and let go of Harry. Harry whimpered as he rubbed the top of his head before snarling at Tom, "Do you sharpen your chin?! I feel like your pointy chin pierced my skull."
Tom rubbed his chin as he snarled back, "I highly doubt my completely human chin can pierce your thick head."
Harry and Tom glared at one another for a few seconds before Tom finally sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he asked in an annoyed tone, "Mind telling me why you suddenly decided hitting me with your thick head would be a good idea?"
Harry crawled next to Ginny and placed his hands on the unconscious (dead?) girl's face.
Her skin was ice cold.
"Is she dead, Tom?" Harry asked, turning to stare at the memory. Harry wanted to roll his eyes at the obvious anger in Tom's face.
Seriously.
The Slytherin was too easily riled up to be a Dark Lord.
Shouldn't Dark Lords be like the villains in the James Bond cinemas?
All regal and poise like arrogant prats?
Not some... overly-sensitive arrogant prat with delusions of grandeur and disturbing possessive behaviour.
The Wizarding World really has no class.
"Why? Are you worried about Sweet Little Ginny?" Tom snarled, walking till he was right next to Harry, his arms crossed as he stared down at the crouching Gryffindor with rage in his blue eyes.
Harry really, really wanted to smack him on the head just like how Hermione would do to Ron whenever he did something stupid.
"Not on a personal level so stop looking like you're my wife and I cheated on you." Harry snarled back before blinking, tilting his head as a mental image of Tom wearing that awful frilly apron Aunt Petunia always wore invaded his mind.
"Stop imagining me as your wife, Harry." Tom ordered with an annoyed tone.
Harry frowned and asked, "You sure you're not reading my mind, Tom?"
Tom's lips curved into an amused smile as he said, "I simply know how your mind works, my dear Harry."
And wasn't that a scary thought?
"Then what do you think I'm thinking now?" Harry challenged, glaring at Tom.
Tom raised an eyebrow and drawled, "Some utterly random thing to throw me off-guard and forcefully claim that I do not know what you're thinking about."
... he had been thinking about how to bake an apple pie.
... which was an utterly random thing he thought of to throw Tom off-guard and claim victory.
Damn all genius Dark Lords with an unhealthy obsession with him!
Harry pursed his lips and looked away from Tom, stubbornly not acknowledging Tom's victory... verbally. His silence seemed to be all Tom needed since the older boy's lips curved into a smug smirk. Tom crouched next to Harry and stared at the prone form of the youngest Weasley as he mused, "If your question was not based on a personal level then that means you don't care if this girl does die or not."
Tom's smirk turned into a more amused sadistic one as he commented, "My, my. Your best mate would definitely be cross if he ever heard that."
The reminder of Ron's existence from Tom's lips reminded Harry that they don't exactly have all the time in the world. Harry glared at Tom and retorted in an annoyed clip tone, "I would have expected you of all people would have found out by now that I'm not who I'm supposed to be."
Tom stared at Harry as he replied, "I do. I am enjoying seeing the real you."
Tom raised his hand to gently swipe the bangs off Harry's eyes as he continued, "Touching the real you..."
"Okay, putting aside your creepy stalker tendencies-" Harry dismissively said, grabbing Tom's wrist, "We need Ginny alive."
Tom frowned as he said, "You want to use her? For what?"
"To keep this pretence, of course." Harry replied with a roll of his eyes. He stared at Tom as he lowered the older boy's hand but kept his loose grip on his wrist as he explained, "If you still need her magic or her life force or whatever it is you're taking from her, take it from me instead. I need her alive so I can pretend I saved her, beat you and survived like a good little Saviour."
Harry spatted the last word with so much disgust Tom couldn't help but raise his eyebrow. Harry paid no attention to the curious and amused look on Tom's face as he continued, "You can go hide in one of the secret rooms here in Hogwarts. I'm pretty sure a genius like you would know one or two rooms which will keep you hidden from even Dumbledore, right?"
"As a matter of fact, I do." Tom replied with a nod. He twisted his hand slightly so that, instead of Harry gripping Tom's wrist, their fingers were now interlaced together. Tom stared at their interlaced hands as he commented, "Your plan does sound good in theory but in practice?"
Tom raised his head and continued solemnly, "It's too risky."
"Explain." Harry ordered with a calm exterior, not even a bit insulted by Tom's refusal.
If the older boy can provide a better alternative, Harry was all ears.
Tom moved his eyes to stare at the pile of ashes just a few feet away from them, "You killed the old coot's phoenix."
"Correction. My wand was used in killing Dumbledore's chicken." Harry retorted calmly before explaining, "I can easily say that it was you who had performed the killing curse using my wand."
"Rebuttal." Tom retorted with the same eerily calmness Harry had. Had it not been the place and the topic at hand, it would seem like the two were simply debating over their homework, "The owner of a wand used to cast the Killing Curse will automatically be put under scrutiny. It is Ministry procedure to secure the person in question and, depending on the circumstances surrounding the casting of the Killing Curse, could either be pardoned immediately, thrown to Azkaban immediately or will receive trial. This current circumstance will fall under the last two."
"Rebuttal." Harry said, mimicking Tom's first word (even though he really, really didn't think it was necessary to say that word and it sounded a bit awkward when not spoken by the great Tom Marvolo Riddle... insert sarcasm here), "I am considered the Boy-Who-Lived, saviour of the Wizarding World. Throwing me to Azkaban would bring discord among the populace and Dumbledore will not stand by while his precious pet gets taken away from him. I would have a trial and I can lie my way through it."
"Rebuttal." Tom retorted with the same calmness as before, "Performing a Killing Curse is a grave offense. They will most likely make use of the Veritaserum on you."
"Verite-wha?" Harry repeated with furrowed brows.
"It's a powerful truth serum that can only be countered by either having a natural immunity to it which I doubt you have or to be a master in occluding your mind which you obviously do not." Tom explained patiently before continuing, "Ergo, going to trial is too risky for you. This entire plan heavily depends on your acting skills and, while it is quite good, it will fall completely under Veritaserum."
"I acknowledge your point and agree with you that my plan is too risky." Harry admitted calmly before asking with a raised eyebrow, "Can you provide a better alternative?"
Tom's lips curved into a manic smirk as he suggested, "Run away with me."
Aaaannnnddd all calmness and composure was thrown into the window.
Harry blinked for a few seconds before asking ludicrously, "Are you asking me to elope with you, Tom?"
Tom's smirk turned into an amused cocky smile as he replied, "If you wish to see it that way, I wouldn't disagree."
The desire to punch the cocky smile off Tom's face returned with a vengeance.
Screw his stupid Adamantium cheekbones!
Harry glared at him as he ordered, "Explain."
Tom continued to cockily smile at him as he explained; taking Harry's other hand into his, "We run away from Hogwarts together. The chamber has a secret passage we can use that will lead us just a few feet away from Hogwarts’ wards. I assume Salazar made it as a precaution in case he or his descendants would ever need to escape Hogwarts. We can use that to escape. We can even take the Basilisk with us as an extra protection."
"I have two questions." Harry said.
Tom nodded as he replied, "Go on."
"How the bloody hell are we going to take a Basilisk as huge as yours with us?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow, "People would instantly notice a huge snake."
Tom sighed as he mumbled, "I swear, this school's curriculum has plummeted ever since Dumbledore took over."
"Way to sound old, Tom." Harry retorted in a drawl.
Tom squeezed Harry's hands a bit too tightly as a warning before explaining, "I know a charm that will reduce the Basilisk's size."
Harry wiggled his hands against Tom's brutal grip and only stopped when Tom loosened his grip to 'a bit too tight to be normal but not too tight that Harry couldn't relax' kind of grip before asking, "Okay then. My other question is, if we do run away together, where would we go?"
"To my future self." Tom replied immediately which made Harry frown.
"Your future self wants to kill me." Harry reminded Tom in a deadpan tone.
"I can get him to change his mind." Tom retorted, "If I fuse with him-"
"Fuse?!" Harry interrupted, his eyes widening.
Tom sighed and asked, "You don't really think I can continue to remain in this present condition for all eternity, do you Harry? I only manage to gain a corporal form because I took it from Ginny. This body is chained to my conscience which remains in the diary."
"So... what does that mean?" Harry asked, frowning at Tom.
Tom stared at Harry's face as he said solemnly, "I was created to keep my original alive. My sole purpose is to aid him in that aspect. By uniting with him, I can offer this body to him and join our memories. From what information I could gather from you and Ginny, something might have gone wrong during the time he created me and when he was turned into a wraith by you. I would assume it could easily be because of my existence."
"Your... existence?" Harry asked, frowning at Tom.
"Harry, you must understand..." Tom leaned closer, resting his forehead against Harry's as he explained, "My original created me because of our fe-"
"Harry!"
Both Tom and Harry froze at the echoing sound of Ron's voice.
"He's already cleared the debris?" Harry whispered ludicrously.
Oh, why did Ron have to show he wasn't just a waste of space in the most inconvenient time for Harry?!
"I can kill him." Tom suggested coldly.
Harry shook his head and said, "It's possible Dumbledore is with him. If Fawkes got here, it would be safer if we assume Dumbledore is also with them."
"Then we should go now." Tom stood, frowning when he felt Harry let go of his hands. He lowered his head to stare at Harry who was staring back at him with a blank expression in his face.
"Harry." Tom offered his hand to Harry and ordered calmly, "Come."
This was his last chance.
All he had to do was run away from Tom, run towards Ron and hope Dumbledore is with him.
Between the risk brought by lying to Dumbledore and by running away with Tom, the lesser of the two was lying to Dumbledore. Tom's plan had too many unsure variables, had too many holes which can easily kill Harry.
Murphy's law.
It was simply too foolish to discard everything for such an insecure future.
Wasn't that the same reason why he had decided to not help Voldemort last year?
So why...
"Harry." Tom had grabbed the diary while Harry remained frozen in his place. His hand was still just a few inches away from Harry, silently tempting, offering, "Come with me."
Harry could sense the hidden plea in Tom's words.
As well as the hidden warning...
Even if Harry tried to run away, Tom would do everything in his power to take him.
It was disturbing.
It was even more disturbing that Harry realized that he quite enjoys the obsession Tom had with him.
That deep twisted possessiveness he had...
Harry never felt it before. He never had anyone so obsessed with having him by their side, with making sure Harry stayed with them.
That was what made Tom special, wasn't it?
To Harry?
To the boy who could easily throw every attachment he had like they were simply scratch paper...
Tom's lips curved into a bright smile when he felt Harry wrap his hand around his. He pulled the younger boy to his feet.
Tom began to run towards the mouth of Slytherin, dragging Harry behind him. The mouth opened when Tom hissed the trigger words and they both entered.
It was only when the mouth has closed once more did Harry laughed.
He was truly utterly pathetically mad...
Madder than all those main characters in those awful cliché romantic muggle cinemas Harry had watched because...
Who in their right mind would decide to place their entire life in the hands of a sixteen years old Dark Lord and his promise of eternity in the first place?
Extra Scene:
(Because this is never going to happen...)
****** Goblet of Fire: Graveyard Scene ******
Harry and Tom stare at Voldemort silently for a few seconds before Harry turned towards Tom, raising an eyebrow as he drawled, "Tom, dear, I know you are super-duper creepily proud of your Slytherin heritage and all that jazz but to turn yourself into a snake-like bald man with no eyebrows?"
Harry's voice took a higher pitch as he asked, "Really?"
Tom and Voldemort turned to glare at Harry and Tom sneered, "Oh, shut it, Potter. If you must know, I..."
Tom frowned and closed his mouth, looking thoughtful for a minute before sighing in resignation. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose (he had never been so happy to still have a nose) as he resigned, "I have nothing. I honestly have no idea what would possess me to transform myself into... that..."
Voldemort glared at Tom while Harry grinned triumphantly. Voldemort sneered at him, "For power, of course. Have you forgotten about our desire for power, foolish boy?"
"And you couldn't find a powerful ritual that will make you regain your human form?" Harry deadpanned with a raised eyebrow, crossing his arms loosely as he tilted his head slightly while staring at Voldemort.
"Appearance is not everything, Potter." Voldemort hissed at Harry and sneered mockingly, "Or are you saying you would leave your precious Tom if he changed into this form?"
Tom opened his eyes to glare at Voldemort as he hissed, "Of course not. Harry would remain by my side for eternity no matter how I look. Isn't that right, Harry?"
Voldemort raised his non-existent eyebrow when he saw Harry simply turn his head to the side away from Tom.
Tom turned to stare at Harry as he called out, "Harry?"
Harry remained quiet.
Tom's eyes widened and he asked ludicrously, "You would leave me just because I turn into a human-snake hybrid?!"
Harry groaned and turned to stare at Tom with a frown as he pointed at Voldemort, "You have no nose!"
"It's just a nose!" Tom retorted.
"It's a really cute nose!" Harry defended before adding...
"And you don't have your soft silky hair anymore!" Harry rubbed his cheeks out of frustrations as he whined, "Where am I going to put my hands when we kiss then? On your shiny bald head? That would feel so weeeiiirrrdddd!"
"Put them on the back of my neck or on my chest or-"
"And did you see his tongue?! It's a bloody snake tongue!" Harry interrupted, shivering as he said, "I can't even imagine how it would be like having that tongue in my mouth when we kiss!"
"You might find out you quite enjoy it!" Tom reasoned exasperatedly.
"How in seven hells am I supposed to kno-" Harry stopped and stared at Tom's fuming face for a couple of seconds. Tom and Voldemort watched as Harry's face turned into a thoughtful expression and he placed his hand by his chin.
Tom could feel dread slowly seeping through his entire body as the seconds tick by while Harry continued to look like he was mulling over the secrets of life itself.
Harry turned to Voldemort and asked, "Would you mind participating in an experiment?"
"Yes, he would mind!" Tom shouted, grabbing Harry's arm and forcing the younger boy to hide behind him while he aimed his wand at Voldemort.
"Oh come on, Tom. Stop being unreasonable." Harry drawled as he rolled his eyes, "How am I supposed to know if I would enjoy having a forked tongue shoved into my mouth until I have tried it?"
"Unreasonable?!" Tom glared at Harry but kept his wand aimed at Voldemort as he snarled, "You're the idiot who wanted to kiss this... this... this abomination-"
Voldemort just desired to kill his younger self so badly right now.
"-when you're supposed to be mine!"
Harry shrugged and retorted with a bored drawl, "He is, technically, you."
"I am not this self-absorbed, egotistic, power-hungry megalomaniac!" Tom retorted heatedly.
Harry's lips curved into a sadistic smile and he giddily asked Tom, "Can you repeat that just one more time. Plleeeaaassseee."
Harry placed his hands on his cheeks and tilted his head slightly to the side as he commented dreamily, "I want to commit to my memory the day Tom Riddle finally admitted his flaws."
Tom couldn't decide if he wanted to Crucio the smile off Harry's face or just repeat his insult to himself because... that awfully disturbing smile was actually quite endearing in Tom's eyes.
Voldemort couldn't decide if he wanted to Crucio both of them or grab Harry Potter and kiss the living daylights out of the cocky boy just so he could punish his younger Hocrux self.
And all the Death Eaters forgotten by the three main characters of this silly little extra story couldn't decide if they should disapparate or keep watching so they may put this memorable (oh so memorable) memory into a penseive that they can watch over and over again when they're having a bad day.
... and Cedric Diggory was definitely forgotten because he was never there in the first place since Harry and Tom did not participate in the Tri-wizard tournament.
How and why they were in the graveyard though... that's... uuuhh... irrelevant...?