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Once Stella closed the Ambo doors on Jacob and Becca, she slapped the door twice to signal that the paramedics could drive off.
As she stepped backwards, she wasn’t surprised to find Kelly so close to her. Once he had offloaded the victims he’d helped out of the tunnel, he’d come straight over to his wife and hadn’t left her side ever since. As much as she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him as soon as he came over to her, she’d had to push him away slightly so that she could update the paramedics on what had happened to Jacob while they were trapped.
As she watched the teenagers drive away, she turned her focus to her husband.
‘Let’s get the hell out of here’ he said with his usual charm. ‘Tonight’ he emphasised.
‘Our long weekend’ Stella let out softly as she gave him a small smile.
‘Yeah, head up to the Dells or Cancun. Your call’ Kelly replied with a small smirk.
Stella’s smile widened as she placed a hand on his radio and drew him closer to her. Reaching up slightly, she pressed her lips to his and instantly felt some of the tension of the day leave her body.
She pulled back slightly so that she could respond to him, but as she opened her mouth to speak, Kelly wrapped both arms around her waist and crashed his lips to hers again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, both of them feeling the need to be as close to one another as possible.
As they separated, Stella rested her forehead on his before responding to his suggestion.
‘That sounds amazing, but can we just go home tonight?’ She raised her eyes to meet his and all she saw reflecting back at her was Kelly’s unconditional love.
‘We can leave tomorrow morning and head to the Dells, but I’m kinda beat and just need a shower and bed for now’ she finished softly.
‘Yeah, anything you want’ Kelly responded. He leaned in quickly to give her another peck on the lips and noticed Stella shiver slightly.
‘I’ll go tell Chief that we’re heading home’. As Kelly spoke, he took off his Squad jacket and wrapped it around Stella. He’d noticed that Jacob was wearing Stella’s turnout coat when they’d come out of the tunnels. He figured his wife was probably freezing by now with the snow falling and the adrenaline wearing off.
Stella smiled gratefully as she watched him walk towards where Pascal and Voight were talking. She watched as Pascal handed Kelly something small and clapped him on the back. As Kelly walked back toward her, Pascal gave Stella a small nod. If this were Boden, she’d know that a nod was his way of saying ‘good work’. With Pascal, who knew what the hell he was thinking, but Stella hoped this was a turning point for them.
Kelly reached out to wrap an arm around Stella’s shoulders as he steered them toward Pascal’s buggy. Stella gave him a confused look, and Kelly held out the car keys Pascal had just given him.
‘Pascal said he’s sticking around for a bit and will ride back with Carver and Ritter. Gave us his car so we can pick up your Jeep from the firehouse’
Stella nodded wordlessly as she fell into step with her husband.
‘He also said we could have next shift off. To decompress’ Kelly continued casually.
Stella’s head shot up and she looked at Kelly in shock.
‘Was he feeling okay when he said that?’ Stella asked, only half-jokingly.
Kelly let out a small laugh at Stella’s sass. ‘Who cares’ Kelly quipped back. ‘All that matters is we’re getting that long weekend after all’.
Stella gave that some thought and nodded a little solemnly. Kelly noticed the shift in her mood and cupped her face in his hands as he gave her a soft, lingering kiss. She covered his hands with her own as they moved to rest on her collarbones.
‘You okay?’ he asked her softly?
‘Mmhmm. Totally’ Stella responded a little too quickly.
Kelly gave her a sceptical look and raised an eyebrow, letting her know that he knew she wasn’t okay. How could she be after all she went through today? But he also knew his wife well enough to know that she would talk when she was ready. Instead of challenging her, Kelly simply pecked her again on the lips before opening the car door for her.
The drive to the firehouse and then the loft was quiet. Both of them sitting in silence as they tried to process everything that had happened over the last 16 hours.
As Kelly and Stella entered their home, they both dumped their bags on the workbench by the door. Before Stella could turn to look at Kelly, she felt his arms come around her from behind to wrap around her shoulders and neck. Just like he’d done earlier that morning. Just like he’d done a hundred times before.
Except this time, she didn’t melt back into him like she usually would. She didn’t bring her hands up to cover his as his thumb lightly stroked her skin.
This time, her body tensed involuntarily as her mind went back to Duffy holding her like this as he also held a gun to her head.
Kelly immediately noted the way Stella’s breaths seemed to become rapid and shallow and her chest started heaving. He came around to stand in front of her and cupped her face in his hands.
‘Hey Stel, breathe for me okay? Just nice, deep breaths’ Kelly gently coached.
‘That’s it babe. In for 4’ Kelly took in a deep breath of his own so that she could match his breaths. ‘And out of 6’ Kelly slowly breathed out and watched as Stella did the same.
He did this a few more times until she looked a little calmer and her breathing had returned to normal.
‘Feeling better?’ Kelly asked quietly.
No words came out, so Stella simply nodded. She didn’t even realise she was crying until Kelly gently wiped away the few tears that had rolled down her cheeks.
‘Hey come here’ he whispered as he pulled her into a hug. With this one move it was like the floodgates had opened. Stella buried her face in the crook of his neck as she let go of all the stress of the day and let her tears soak his sweater.
Kelly simply held her as the sobs wracked her body. He gently caressed the back of her head, knowing that this usually calms her down.
He doesn’t know how long they stayed that way, but once Stella’s sobs quietened, Kelly silently walked them toward the couch. He sat down first and pulled her to sit between his legs so that her back was leaning against his chest. Stella leaned back into him as much as she could and rested her hands on top of his as they hugged her shoulders again.
Neither one said anything for a few minutes. After the hell they’d gone through, they simply savoured being in each other’s arms again.
‘Wanna talk about it?’ Kelly gently probed after a while.
Stella didn’t say anything for a few seconds. She was trying to think of the best way to tell her husband that, for a moment, she didn’t think she’d ever see him again.
How could she tell him that when he was calling out for someone to answer him from the other side of that concrete wall, Duffy held a gun to her head and held her in almost the exact same way Kelly had held her earlier that morning.
‘He had a gun’ Stella finally stated, just barely above a whisper.
‘Yeah I know’ Kelly responded just as quietly.
‘No. I mean he had the gun to my head’ Stella interjected quickly.
Kelly’s body immediately tensed. That son of a bitch. I’d kill him if here weren’t already dead, Kelly thought to himself.
Knowing Stella didn’t need him to rage at Duffy right now, he instead opted to place a tender kiss on her temple before pressing his cheek to the side of her face, silently encouraging her to keep going. As hard as it was to hear all this, he knew that Stella needed to get this off her chest so that she wasn’t carrying the burden on her own.
‘He was holding me the same way you’re holding me now. The same way you were holding me this morning…’ Stella trailed off, not needing to finish that sentence. They both knew that at that moment, their whole past, present and future had flashed before Stella’s eyes.
‘I could hear you calling out for us and I wanted so badly to call back out in case that was the last time I ever got to say anything to you’. Stella took a steadying breath as she felt the tears well up again.
Kelly didn’t say anything in response. Stella felt him nodding behind her, knowing that he had been just as scared as she was that their time had run out.
‘I was so scared I’d lost you forever and that I was too late’ he finally let out, his voice cracking as he tried to stop the tears from flowing. Stella felt the tears rolling down her husband’s face as it also hit her temple. She turned slightly in his arms so that she could look back at him and lifted a hand to wipe away his tears.
‘I couldn’t let you off the hook that easily. You still owed me a trip to Cancun’ she let out with soft smile and attempted to lift his spirits.
Kelly leaned down to capture her lips in his. He raised his right hand to cup her face and ran a soothing thumb along her jawline.
‘We can go on all the trips you want babe’ Kelly responded with a soft laugh.
He shifted her slightly so that he could better look at her face.
‘I don’t know if Ruzek and Burgess managed to get my message to you, but…’
‘They did’ Stella cut in quickly. ‘It’s what got me through today. Knowing you were outside that tunnel trying your best to get us out’ she paused for a couple seconds as she felt the tears coming back. She cleared her throat before continuing. ‘I kept playing those words in my head when things started to get really dicey because I knew I had to get back home to you Kelly’ Stella finished quietly.
Kelly kissed her again. Just a soft kiss to let her know what she meant to him.
‘I love you so much and I don’t know what I’d ever do without you’ Kelly stated as a fresh wave of tears started rolling down his cheeks.
‘Me too babe. Me too.’
They stayed this way for a little longer, both of them basking in the feel of having the other one in their embrace.
‘C’mon, let’s shower and then we’ll order some pizza’ Kelly suggested once he heard Stella’s stomach grumble.
She hadn’t eaten all day, so a deep dish pizza and a hot shower was exactly what her body needed right now. With this thought in mind, Stella untangled herself from Kelly’s arms and stood up. She pulled Kelly to his feet and led them both to their bathroom.
As they showered together, they stole the occasional kiss, but nothing more. They’d usually end up having sex whenever they shared a shower, but tonight wasn’t about that. It was about taking care of each other in ways that no one else ever could. It was about showing each other how much they loved each other by small acts of services. It was about intimacy and love and being grateful that they still had each other.
As Kelly massaged the shampoo into Stella’s hair and used the loofah to wash away the dirt that still clung to her body, he was once again amazed at her strength and determination. Kelly was careful not to hurt Stella as he noticed the bruise that had formed on her hip, likely from when her body hit the broken concrete when she and Ruzek were fighting Duffy and his gun.
He got down on his knees and pressed a gentle kiss to the bruised skin. Stella watched as his eyes found hers again and he wordlessly wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his cheek against her taut tummy. He kissed her belly before lifting himself off his knees. Even after all these years together, it was things like this that still had Stella’s stomach doing somersaults whenever Kelly touched her.
But even with the water spraying down on both of them, Stella could tell that Kelly had tears running down his face again. She cupped his face in both hands an raised herself on her tippy toes before she crashed her lips to his – her way of trying to reassure him that she wasn’t going anywhere.
She knew that it would take them both time to get past everything that happened today and that they’d have to have a conversation soon about what their future looked like. If today had taught her anything, it was to make time for the things that mattered most. And right now, that included starting a family with Kelly.
But that would be a conversation for another day. For right now, she wanted to stay in her bubble with Kelly and just enjoy the feel of his hands all over her body as he continued to lovingly wash away all the dirt and pain of the day.