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It was a normal work day in his doctor's office, when the nurse announced in a serious tone while handing over the medical chart, "The new patient has arrived, Doctor Urashima."
"Bring him in!" Rui began to quickly look at the patient's chart and see how he could help him.
"Good afternoon, Doctor!" The voice of a peer rang in Rui's ears and he raised his head.
In front of him was a twenty-year-old boy who was staring at him with his blue eyes, while his face was framed by long black hair kept in a messy cut.
He didn't know why but he felt a pinch coming from the area of his lungs while he was looking at his new patient.
"Are you Mr. Sanada Ryo?" Rui asked seriously and professionally while he continued to read his patient's medical chart.
"Yes!" Ryo confirmed while nervously moving his fingers.
"From what I read in this medical chart, you underwent a delicate lung operation about six months ago in America." Rui read the report and looked up at Ryo who confirmed by moving his head.
Rui continued to read Ryo's medical chart and noticed that there was an anomalous element in that medical chart.
"It doesn't say why you were operated on here." Rui noted while also showing the paper to Ryo "I would like to get this information from you."
"I'm sorry but I don't remember why I was operated on my lungs." Ryo apologized while looking up to look out the window.
"There's no need to apologize." Rui justified Ryo with a smile "It could also be the effect of the anesthesia that caused you to lose your memories." Ryo sighed while Rui closed the medical chart in a sharp movement, while considering the possibility of calling the surgeon who had operated on Ryo in America to ask for further clarifications.
"How is the situation, doctor?" Ryo asked the question with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
"From what your medical records show, you have recovered well from the operation and your rehabilitation is going well." Rui explained seriously with Ryo listening attentively. "Of course, you must not make too many physical efforts or at least not until we are sure that you are okay."
"Okay, I will do as you say." Ryo commented on that news more lightly.
"Of course, we will see each other here in a month for a further check-up." Rui concluded while feeling that tingling coming from inside his chest again.
"Okay, doctor." Ryo exclaimed while bowing "I wish you a good day."
Rui bowed back and watched as Ryo walked out of his room and then closed the door, leaving Rui alone in the room.
Rui glanced out the window and saw Ryo walking down the street in front of the clinic to meet a boy with light blue hair.
And once again he clearly felt that tingling sensation.
"Bring in the next patient." Rui ordered the nurse, while taking one last look at Ryo's medical chart on the table.
A week later...
Rui was walking in the park, taking advantage of the fact that it was his free afternoon while doing some free-body exercises.
The doctor had stopped and started doing some stretching when he heard a desperate meow coming from behind one of the bushes.
Attracted by that noise, Rui went to check among those bushes and found a black kitten with an injured paw, who was limping.
The doctor with all his patience and calm took the little kitten from behind the neck, trying to imitate a mother cat's grip. The kitten hissed and meowed and then calmed down as he felt safe in Rui's arms.
"Let's go to the vet right away to see if there's anything we can do for this paw." Rui suggested to the kitten as he tried to remember where the nearest veterinary clinic was.
Rui had to search on his phone to find out that the nearest veterinary clinic was about 45 minutes from the park. The doctor hired a taxi to take him to the clinic, which he had found using his search engine.
Rui entered the clinic and was surprised to find Ryo wearing his vet uniform and with a surprised expression on his face.
"Doctor, what are you doing here?" Ryo asked as he waved to what appeared to be a co-worker.
"I found this injured kitten while I was out walking in the park." Rui explained as he felt pressure on his chest area again and a cough escaped his mouth.
"I'll check him out right away..." Ryo picked up the kitten and then turned to Rui again "And I'll keep him here until he's fully healed."
Rui looked at the kitten who had stopped struggling, while she was in Ryo's hands who was carefully examining the injured paw.
"But you can't stay here, I'm sorry." Ryo added in a sad voice while he continued to check the kitten's paw.
"She gladly left her in your care. Thank you for your availability." Rui thanked Ryo and took a last look at the kitten, who was observing her.
The doctor was about to leave when Ryo's voice came from behind him and he added "If you want to know the latest on the health of this kitten, tomorrow morning in the café near the veterinary clinic over a full breakfast."
"That's fine with me." As they had agreed, Ryo and Rui met the next day in the café near the veterinary clinic where Ryo was working.
"How's the kitten?" Rui asked while they were waiting for someone to come and take their orders.
"She's fine! The leg is not broken, but it just has a deep wound that does not even need stitches." Ryo explained while keeping a professional vet tone.
"Great..." Rui exclaimed in relief.
Ryo looked at Rui and an idea began to form in his mind and a smile began to form on his face.
Rui felt like an electric shock, which hit his chest and then traveled to his brain in an instant.
"How about you adopt the kitten once she is discharged? I think you would be a great owner for her." Ryo suggested while the waitress posted what they had ordered.
"You overestimate me! My house is messy and I don't think it's suitable for a cat." Rui replied as he picked up the croissant he had just ordered.
"I don't think you overestimate yourself." Ryo replied as he took a sip of coffee. "You can tell by how the kitten immediately trusted you and how she looked at you as you left."
Rui didn't answer, but simply continued to eat his croissant until he was stopped by several coughs followed by the unpleasant sensation of having something stuck in his chest.
Ryo promptly offered him a glass of water and Rui drank it slowly as it felt like something was growing in his lung area.
"Thank you." Rui whispered in a strangled voice once he had finished drinking.
"Are you okay?" Ryo asked worriedly as he poured more water into Rui's glass.
"Now yes, thank you!" Rui thanked Ryo who was watching with a frown. and worried.
"I'll think about adopting that kitten anyway." Rui added to divert Ryo's attention from him.
"Really? That's great!" Ryo exclaimed as he picked up his cup of coffee. "You'll be a great friend to that kitten..."
"Friend..." Rui repeated as he watched Ryo drink his coffee and couldn't help but feel his heart beating fast as he watched him.
Ryo nodded and then turned his attention to the window of the café and waved a hand as if to greet someone.
Rui turned and noticed that the blue-haired boy he had seen when he first visited Ryo was there again. He looked at him carefully, wondering what kind of relationship there was between Ryo and that boy and felt a pang of jealousy.
"I have to go!" Ryo announced in a serious voice, "I'll leave you my cell phone number so you can call me to continue to be updated on the kitten's health." He handed over a piece of paper with his number.
"Thank you! This is my number instead." Rui handed a business card to Ryo who immediately put it in his pants pocket.
"See you!" Ryo said goodbye and after paying the bill he reached the blue-haired boy.
Rui watched the scene from the window and didn't know why but he felt that discomfort in his chest again and also a pang of jealousy towards that blue-haired boy.
Another two weeks passed in which Ryo and Rui exchanged frequent messages always about the kitten with Rui who couldn't understand why he felt his lungs getting heavier and his interest in Ryo.
He tried to ignore those problems and just at that moment he received a message from Ryo.
- R: The kitten's paw is completely healed!
Rui: I'm happy that she is completely healed! I would also like to adopt that kitten, if she is still available for adoption.
R: I knew you would make this decision soon! I immediately noticed that between the two of you, there is a certain affinity. You can stop by tomorrow, if you want. - Rui read the message and imagined Ryo laughing at his victory and wanted to see that smile printed on his face. And he had already bought everything he needed to take care of the kitten from food to toys to a place where the kitten could go to do her business.
- Rui: I'll come tomorrow, maybe afterward we can have lunch together and celebrate the adoption of the kitten.
R: Then come to the veterinary clinic around 12:30 so we can take care of the adoption paperwork and then we can go to lunch at a place near the veterinary clinic.
R: See you tomorrow, then!
The adoption paperwork was quickly done with Rui putting the kitten in the carrier where Rui had also put a purple blanket.
The kitten disappeared between the wounds of the llama blanket, while she purred really loudly, which made Ryo giggle.
“You can tell she's happy by the way she purrs.” Ryo exclaimed as his eyes shone with happiness.
“I hope she’ll be happy when she’s at my house too.” Rui commented as he reached into the carrier to pet the kitten.
The kitten rubbed her head against Rui’s hand and then licked it and purred even louder, asking for more cuddles.
Rui continued to pet the kitten and smile as he followed Ryo into the restaurant that was right next to the veterinary clinic.
“Here we eat really good fish-based recipes.” Ryo announced in a low voice as he entered the restaurant and they went to sit at the first free table they found.
“I’ll have something fishy then.” Rui whispered before sitting on the table, making sure to place the carrier in a spot where he could keep an eye on the kitten and not disturb the waitresses and other diners.
The two ordered two bowls of raw fish with rice along with an excellent fish soup before starting to talk.
“Where did your vocation to be a veterinarian come from?” Rui asked suddenly as they waited for their orders to arrive.
“When I was a child, I lived in a house with my father near the forest in Yamanashi Prefecture and I took many walks in the woods and unfortunately I often found myself in front of birds or animals injured by poachers. Seeing those injured animals and having to witness their agony without doing anything made me feel totally helpless.” Ryo began to tell, while he also took a look at the carrier.
Rui sensed that something had happened to Ryo’s mother, but he didn’t have the courage to ask for confirmation and simply listened to the veterinarian’s story.
“That’s why I made the decision to become a veterinarian to be able to help those animals in a concrete way and I don’t mean just treating them, but also doing prevention and teaching children respect for other animals.” Ryo finished just as the chosen dishes arrived.
Rui looked at Ryo's satisfied smile and felt his heart begin to throb painfully in his chest and understood that he had fallen in love with Ryo.
"And what were you doing in America before you had the operation?". Rui asked while drinking a glass of water, feeling that annoying pinch in his throat again, and which heralded the return of the cough.
"I was taking a refresher course". Ryo answered while getting ready to eat lunch "Luckily, Touma accompanied me on that trip or I wouldn't still be here".
"Touma would be that blue-haired boy you greeted when we were at the bar?". Rui asked trying to keep his voice steady also to prevent himself from bursting into coughing in front of Ryo.
"Exactly!". Ryo confirmed and Rui felt himself sink seeing the smile and hearing the tone used understanding that perhaps what he feels for Ryo is an unrequited love.
“Do you want to know how you became a doctor instead?” Ryo asked with the same curiosity.
“It’s not a pleasant story ...”. Rui looked at the steamed rice and lifted some grains with his chopsticks “I decided to become a doctor after I saw my mother’s corpse in front of my eyes, dead of illness”.
“I’m sorry ...”. Ryo murmured lowering his head slightly.
“This event has marked me and given me a familiarity with death and at the same time a desire that has transformed into my life mission: to be a doctor to save as many lives as possible and to save my mother indirectly. That’s why I became a doctor ...”. Ryo explained with a firm voice.
“And tell me, have you finally managed to reach that goal of yours?” Ryo pointed out while looking at his empty bowl in front of him.
“Not yet ...”. Rui answered sincerely and with a bitter smile, while his hand went to caress the kitten who had fallen asleep "And every time I fail I feel like Sisyphus who has to push the boulder again to get to the top of my hill".
The two finished lunch and then had two cups of hot coffee served since Ryo had to go back to work and Rui had to settle the kitten into her home.
When they left the restaurant the two looked at each other, while the cars and people passed by without caring about them.
"Tell me, what are you going to name the kitten?" Ryo asked curiously while checking the time on his watch.
"Nori". Rui answered with the first name he had chosen randomly in a phone book while keeping his eyes closed.
Ryo found the name really funny for the kitten, but he kept his thought to himself.
"Can we see each other one of these days?" Rui asked hoping to see Ryo again outside of check-ups and outside of the veterinary environment.
“Of course! Text me so we can see each other again.” Ryo exclaimed and then bent down and addressed Nori directly “You take care of your new master.”
Nori didn’t answer, but continued to sleep peacefully and completely wrapped in the blanket.
Ryo said goodbye and just at that moment Rui started coughing so hard that blood came out of his mouth along with a sunflower petal.
“What? There were no sunflower petals in that fish bowl…” Rui thought as he quickly wiped the blood off his face “What’s happening to me?”.
“I have to go home and investigate.” Rui thought as he headed home while being careful not to wake Nori who continued to sleep inside his cage.
Once he got home, Rui immediately took a book that he had bought a book that dealt with the strangest diseases that existed in the world.
Nori, meanwhile, had already settled into Rui’s house and was playing with one of the games Rui had bought for her.
He was once again struck by a cough and spat out another sunflower petal into the blood-stained handkerchief.
Rui began to leaf through the book until he found a disease that matched the symptoms he was having at that moment.
“Hanahaki, a disease: the victim is affected when they have the feeling or confirmation that their feelings of love for a person are not reciprocated. In the patient’s lungs, plants begin to grow that plant their roots in the alveoli until they become fully developed plants with blooming flowers.
Symptoms: The first symptoms of this disease are cough, chest pain and difficulty breathing. As the disease progresses, you begin to vomit blood along with the flower petals that are growing in the patient’s lungs. In the final stage of the disease, the patient begins to vomit whole flowers and then death.
Recovery: There are no medicines that can eradicate the flowers that have grown in the lungs and there are two ways to save the patient from death: that his feelings are reciprocated or that he is operated on to remove the flowers from the lung. The only contraindication to the surgery is that the patient no longer seems to be able to love and that he forgets everything about the person he was in love with.
More information ...”.
Rui could not finish reading that part of the book because he had to immediately run to the bathroom to vomit petals and blood. The doctor looked at the flowers floating in his own blood and thought that those flowers perfectly represented Ryo who was a boy full of life and who reminded him of the sun.
Nori looked out the bathroom door and started meowing, while Rui started vomiting and coughing again, while he felt a weight in his lungs that was suffocating him.
“I haven’t reached the final stage of the disease yet.” Rui thought as he tried to stand up after cleaning his mouth again “I still have time to decide what to do.”
Rui picked up Nori and started scratching her head gently to calm her down, while he returned to his study again to finish reading that book and learn more about the disease.
A week later
Rui had made an appointment with Ryo to see him in one of the city parks since the disease was still giving him no respite. For this reason he had also brought some vomiting suppressants with him and immediately put a candy in his mouth when he saw Ryo arriving.
“I should last the entire date or rather walk.” Rui mused as Ryo approached with his usual smile.
“Hi, Rui! How’s Nori?” Ryo asked curiously to know how the kitten was.
“She’s fine and has adapted perfectly to the mess of my house.” Rui replied with a smile while also trying to speak normally despite the burning pain he felt in his chest.
“Great!” Ryo exclaimed as the two began to walk together in the park.
“Ryo.” Rui caught the attention of the man he was in love with “I found this book in my library that might interest you.” He handed the book into Ryo’s hands who immediately opened it with some curiosity to read its contents.
“Thank you! When I finish reading it I’ll give it back to you!” Ryo exclaimed once he had finished reading the introduction to the book.
“Read it slowly, it’s not necessary for my job.” Rui replied with the last words that came out while he was breathing hard.
Taking away the urge to vomit with pills gave the ugly contradiction of increasing the feeling of suffocation and of having a desperate need for air.
“Always better than going around vomiting petals and blood all afternoon”. Rui reflected as he noticed Ryo’s worried gaze resting on him.
“Are you okay?” Ryo asked, placing a hand on Rui’s shoulder “Shall we sit on a bench?”.
“I’m just tired from the walk I had to do to get here from home”. Rui told a lie so as not to worry Ryo.
“I can take you home right away on the motorbike, if you want”. Ryo offered as he sat Rui down on a bench.
“I’ll accept the ride home, but as you can see my breathing has already regularized”. Rui lied a second time and tried to make his breathing seem as normal as possible.
The pinch and the sensation of being torn by the leaves and petals of the sunflower had become even more intense.
“And before going out I also took some medicine to make the pain go away, but apparently the effect is minimal”. Rui thought as he stood up to continue his walk with Ryo.
“Are you sure you don’t want to sit down?” Ryo asked once again and with that worried voice.
Rui simply nodded, while trying to ignore the pain and focus only on Ryo’s presence and those moments he could still experience with the man he had fallen in love with.
“How’s your work at the veterinary clinic going?” Rui asked trying to divert the conversation to a topic that Ryo loved.
“I’d say good and thanks to the photographs my photographer father took in the forest, I’ll be able to carry out a new project that will involve children”. Ryo began to enthusiastically explain what his project entailed and how he wanted to carry it out.
“Is your father a photographer? My father is a marine biologist who fights for the protection of turtles”. Rui exclaimed, surprised to learn that Ryo’s father was a photographer.
“Is your father really a marine biologist?” Ryo looked at the cover of the book he was holding “And tell me, is he the author of this book about the marine fauna of Japan?”.
“Yes, this book was written by Taro Urashima, aka my father”. Rui confirmed without hiding a note of pride in his voice.
“I can’t wait to read what your father says about the local fauna of Japan in this book”. Ryo commented while also looking at the various photographs that had been inserted inside the book.
The two continued to talk for at least two hours and then Ryo drove Rui home on his motorbike.
When he returned home, Rui immediately went to the bathroom and began vomiting sunflower petals along with jets of blood and then felt a burning and suffocating pain in the chest area.
Nori approached her owner and began to purr and lick his hand to bring comfort to Rui.
“Thank you ...”. Rui picked up the kitten and hugged her gently, while thinking about what he had to do before he died.
Two weeks later, Ryo and Rui decided to buy something to eat, not wanting to go home yet.
Rui had made sure to leave food and water for Nori before going out with Ryo once again and to take a pill to avoid vomiting, even though the petals continued to increase in number day after day as well as the loss of blood.
Going for a walk they found themselves sitting on the shore on the beach after having gotten something to eat and also to drink. The sea was a flat table illuminated by the pale light of the moon.
“The moon is really beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” Rui whispered while looking at Ryo’s profile illuminated by the moonlight while the latter was busy opening the packages, which contained the food.
"Yes, wonderful!" Ryo agreed and then offered a portion of food to Rui with a smile.
Rui accepted his portion of fried fish and the two began to eat in silence, with only the sound of the sea in the background.
"Rui..." Ryo began to speak after finishing eating. "I found out why I had that lung operation. Touma told me everything." He opened a bottle and offered half of it to Rui.
"Tell me..." Rui exclaimed, curious to know the reason why Ryo had undergone that type of operation.
"As I told you, I spent a period of six months in New York to take courses related to animal health and protection. During that time I met a girl named Luna and I fell in love with her. However, being afraid that mine was an unrequited love, I contracted hanaraki." Ryo recounted that fact in a detached tone.
And this did not escape Rui who continued to listen in silence to the story of the man he was in love with, and for whom he was now suffering from hanaraki.
"I was about to try to declare my love to Luna, but on that very day Luna died in a terrible motorcycle accident. At that moment the shock of her death and the possibility of no longer being able to express my feelings caused a complete collapse of my physical condition and with hanaraki that was rapidly leading me to death".
Rui was not surprised to hear this since by studying hanaraki he had discovered that this could happen due to the deep shock and that therefore it triggered a reaction that made the disease fatal in 60% of cases.
"However, in that case the patient does not lose the ability to love because the death of the person he fell in love with before knowing if his feelings are reciprocated, transforms the flower into a parasite that wants to kill the host body". Rui mentally repeated that part of the book to give himself a form of consolation or perhaps torture, since Ryo seemed to be in love with that Touma and certainly not with him.
"I was taken to the hospital and they urgently operated on me to remove the flowers in my lungs." Ryo continued to tell while looking at his now empty glass "When I woke up I didn't remember anything of what happened or of Luna."
"Do you remember anything at all about her?" Rui asked after finishing what was in his glass.
"No and it's a horrible feeling." Ryo explained "You are in love with a person so much that a garden begins to grow inside your body and after that they become a complete stranger. I don't even remember their face and I can't shed a tear for them." Ryo took a small handful of sand in his hand and threw it in the air in a brusque and irritated gesture.
Rui watched Ryo do that and decided that he would never have surgery, and that he would die of hanaraki rather than forget Ryo.
With that new awareness he felt a new pang of pain, which hit the center of his chest and he had to hold back the vomiting and coughing with all his willpower.
"It's a horrible feeling to live without a piece of you." Ryo added with a sad voice as he approached Rui to look at the starry sky together.
Rui couldn't take her eyes off Ryo with his black hair that began to move due to the sea breeze and those eyes, which shone with the moonlight.
"Today the moon is really beautiful." Rui repeated once again while inside him he confirmed his decision, that he would never want to forget Ryo, even if it would cost his own life.
Ryo confirmed with a small movement of his head and found himself leaning it almost unconsciously on Rui's shoulder.
Once that evening was over, Rui returned home and couldn't get to the bathroom without vomiting whole sunflowers and blood from his mouth.
Nori began to meow worriedly, while Rui looked at the sunflower with its yellow petals stained with red blood and understood that he had reached the terminal stage of the disease.
Two days passed and Ryo had finished reading the book and decided to go to Rui's house to return it. When he arrived at Rui's house, he immediately noticed that something was strange as he found the door open and Nori who was meowing desperately.
"What happened?" Ryo immediately entered the house and found Rui lying on the ground in a pool of blood.
"Rui!" Ryo shouted as he checked Rui's body to find the wound where all this blood was coming out "Where are you hurt? Who hurt you?".
Hearing Ryo's voice, Rui opened his eyes and found himself in front of the worried face of the young veterinarian who was trying to help him, ignoring the real cause of that huge blood loss.
"You need to be operated on urgently!" Ryo shouted as he lifted Rui with his arms as the bloody petal of a sunflower landed on his hand and he realized that Rui had fallen victim to the hanaraki.
"I don't want to be operated on!" Rui replied as he tried to free himself from the arms of the man he loved and who was now condemning him to death.
"Why? If they don't take away your flowers with surgery, you'll die! Don't you want to continue your mission as a doctor?" Ryo's voice was like a scream of pain and desperation, while Rui spat out another stream of blood along with another sunflower.
"I don't want to forget you and the moments we spent together." Rui replied as he held Ryo's hand with his blood-stained hand with all his remaining strength.
Ryo heard that answer and let out a surprised cry, while Rui felt the piercing pain in his chest decrease, albeit for a little while.
"Wait! Do you mean you have hanahaki because of me?" Ryo asked, not holding back his surprise, but also a slight relief in his voice.
"Yes, but don't worry." Rui replied, noticing that he was breathing better and no longer felt the repulsive need to vomit blood and flowers. "I accept the fact that you are in love with Touma and that my love will never be reciprocated." After saying those words, Rui felt as if the sunflower garden that he had in his heart had completely withered in his lungs. He was breathing much better and no longer had that annoying sensation of sunflower oil on his palate along with the scent of that flower, which had become his executioner in those months.
"Is it possible that...". Rui glanced at Ryo who was staring at him with his blue eyes that had tormented his dreams for so long.
"I have never been in love with Touma. ". Ryo exclaimed in disbelief. "For me he is like a brother, and he also has a boyfriend named Seiji."
The two looked at each other in silence with only the other's breathing to keep them company, while Nori yawned, realizing that the danger had passed for his master.
"So you..." Rui whispered when she found her lips covered by Ryo's in a first awkward kiss.
Rui reciprocated with a certain enthusiasm as she began to explore Ryo's warm and soft lips with her own.
"Is that an okay answer for you?" Ryo asked on Rui's lips waiting for his answer that came in the form of another kiss.
"Yes, that's enough for an answer." Rui exclaimed as she breathed with her lungs finally free from that sunflower garden and her heart free from the weight of not being reciprocated.
Nori came closer to be caressed by Rui who immediately picked her up before kissing Ryo on the lips again and bursting into a long, liberating cry.
Ryo hugged him and kissed his cheeks and lips until Rui fell asleep and exhausted in his arms.
Six months later, the doctor Rui Urashima wrote a book that treated the disease hananaki by indirectly telling his story and emphasizing that before dying or undergoing surgery, talk openly with the person you think your feelings are not reciprocated. It was better to know than to die or lose your memories with the doubt that suffocates you and makes you lose blood.