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Emilio didn't know why he was alive. His whole life had been spent making people happy. He was a people pleaser, a pawn in other people's games, Soon to be forgotten when someone more significant shows up.
Tobias gave him a reason to live. He wanted to figure out why Tobias was like this, why he was so… unique. Unique in a way nobody else was.
On a study date they had at his house, Emilio had stolen the sickly lavender knife Tobias kept in his pocket during a lengthy make-out session. Not because he didn't have one of his own, but because it would be the knife he had stabbed Tobias with.
As much as he hated to admit it, he loved to hurt people. It gave him a rush of adrenaline he never knew felt so good. A rush that drugs like cocaine couldn't give him. He wanted to be a good boyfriend to Tobias. He wanted to take him on cute dates, buy him nice things, and do what any normal boyfriend would do. But, whenever he looked at the boy, only one thought ran through his head, and that thought was to pin him to a bed and strangle him.
These thoughts were wrong. So, so, so, wrong. He wanted to defile Tobias, ruin him for anyone else. He wanted the next person who found his to find nothing but scraps of flesh. He had tasted Tobias before, and he hadn't had something so pure since that day. His blood was like sweeter than the waters in the Garden of Eden, his tears purer than a virgin's kiss. He wanted to consume Tobias, and he was sure his guts would taste just as good as the rest of his body.
Emilio reaches into the pocket of his pants, taking out the knife. He pulls up his sleeve and presses the cold blade against his wrist. First, he makes a decent-sized scar before making another line. He had carved Tobias’s initial into his arm. If this wasn’t love, Emilio didn't what else was. He now had a reminder of the man tha owned him, the man that kept him from killing himself.
Then, he feels a vibrating in his back pocket. With a sigh, he picks up the phone “Hello?” he asks without even seeing who the caller was.
“Hey, quick question, does kissing a guy make me gay if I didn't get hard? Like, can I still be straight?” Carmelo asks. Sometimes, Emilio wonders what went so wrong in his life that made him acquainted with such a nutjob.
“Carmelo, why do you think I'm the right person to ask?” Emilio scoffs at the boy's idiotic question.
“Well duh, 'cause you're like gay? You have a boyfriend and shit, right?” Carmelo explains. “I do, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give you advice.” Emilio responds hastily, before hanging up.
He slumps in his chair, upset that his… Session was interrupted. He tries to get back into it by by looking at the knife in his hand, tracing his finger on the blade. Something about the knife awoken something in him. Something about it made him want to feel Tobias. He wanted to tug on his hair, to pin him to the headboard of his bed, to grab his wrists and not let go until he had bruises, every visual making him crave that pleasure.
Emilio rolls up the other sleeve and begins to cut frantically, not caring about where. Blood begins to drip down his arm. He feels lightheaded, the only thing he's thinking about is Tobias. Each and every cell in his cursed body was screaming Tobias’s name.
Emilio never really masturbated, Every time time he tried he ended up having to stop out of embarrassment. However, today was different. He felt like his whole body was on fire. If he didn't find a way to get himself stable, he swore he was going to die! So reluctantly, he pulls down the zipper of his pants.