Chapter Text
Carla
8th October 2023
3:31pm
I decided to go to the police today. I know. Totally out of character. When do I ever put my trust in coppers? And I shouldn’t have bothered as it turns out. I spoke to that DS Swain and she was literally no help at all. I told her Stephen had spiked me. I told her everything and she didn’t believe me. Well, actually, I think she did believe me but she was about as much use as a chocolate teapot. She just sat there with a sympathetic look on her face, telling me I couldn’t prove it, that she couldn’t do anything about it. That there was a long list of people who could have done it, if you please! I mean, I know I’m not the most popular person in Weatherfield but I don’t think I’ve got a queue of people wanting to put LSD in my tea, thank you very much. I’m pissed off because I don’t exactly have the best history with police. I don’t trust them. The last time I put my faith in them to bring justice against a man attacking me, it didn’t exactly go well, did it? I had to stand there, in court and tell a load of strangers what he did to me and I wasn’t believed. I know it was years ago but I still have nightmares about that whole thing now, sometimes. I guess it’s the kind of thing that never really leaves you. The damage. The trauma.
But Roy and Nina told me that DS Swain had been really good when Nina and Seb were attacked. She’d been kind to Nina, really listened, really cared. She’d handled Abi with care. She’d fought for justice for Seb, for Nina. They said she was someone who believed people when they told them something bad had happened to them. So, I went to the police station. I even persisted when bloody Stephen and Jenny happened to be outside. I asked for Swain and she saw me. And she just wasn’t what I hoped she be. I mean, she’s this tiny, gorgeous, blonde thing, for starters. The most amazing eyes. But I have no idea how she was ever let onto the police force. She’s about two foot tall. Isn’t there a height restriction rule, like there is for flight attendants? I mean, how on earth could she ever overpower someone enough to arrest them?! Anyway, she did listen but she just… didn’t hear me. She didn’t rescue me the way I needed her to. I’m just so disappointed. I told her he was a threat. I told I was in danger and she’s doing nothing about it. What kind of police officer is she? Apart from a teeny tiny one? She was fundamentally disappointing. Hence me making fun of her height to make myself feel better. I mean, does she have to get on a step ladder to slap cuffs on people? Okay, I’ll stop teasing her now. Maybe.
Carla
8th October 2023
6:45pm
So, DS Swain just came to find me, outside the flat. To be fair to her, after my ranting earlier, it was to tell me she was/is looking into what I said. I’m still not happy. I still don’t like her. I still feel completely let down. She basically told me to be patient, to be quiet, to not stir anything up while she works on the case. I mean, it’s a bit late. I’ve already had it out with Stephen, in front of Sarah and Michael, haven’t I? But she warned me not to tell Jenny anything. I won’t. For now.
I’m reluctantly trusting her, although I don’t know why. She’s hardly given me a reason to, has she? And I’m scared. I don’t know what that man’s capable of. These past few weeks have been so frightening, so awful and it’s all because of him. I thought I was losing my mind! Again. She has no idea how that’s felt, what I’ve been through. She’s probably got some comfy life with a husband at home, maybe a kid or two. She has no idea what it’s like to be me.
Lisa
9th October 2023
03:29
It’s been yet another shit day. They’re just one after the other, after the other. It started with yet another argument with Betsy. She is on another warning at school. I had to go for a meeting with a Head Teacher and Betsy was so mouthy throughout the whole thing. It was awful. Embarrassing. I just don’t know what to do anymore. And who am I meant to turn to for support? I have nobody. Mum and Dad are fundamentally unhelpful. My sister gives brilliant advice that I don’t have the backbone to follow. I feel completely lost.
As for work, today, I let yet another person down. I just hate that feeling. It hurts my heart and it keeps me awake long into the night. Hence the late night writing.
Today, a woman came into the station to tell me that her colleague had been spiking her with LSD. She had proof of the spiking but not of who she’d been spiked by. The story was awful. I feel such a passion for protecting women, especially from violent and dangerous men. I always have. And this woman was being made to believe that she was experiencing a mental health crisis. She had a history of it and the effects of the LSD were very similar. She’d even checked into a clinic; she was that frightened she was relapsing. She was terrified. She was angry. She was also beautiful. It was so weird. It’s been almost two years since I lost Becky and I’ve not so much as noticed another woman. Not once. But this woman, Carla Barlow was so stunning. Absolutely breathtaking.
But anyway, I let her down. I did tell her I would absolutely do my best for her. I even tracked her down later and did my best to explain that I would work on it, asked her to stay quiet about her suspicions so I could investigate quietly and try and get a good outcome for her. I’ve met the bloke she’s accusing before I do not get good vibes from him. There’s something not right about him at all. And there are so many inconsistences with the things he’s been telling me about other incidents. I am certain he’s involved in other crimes I’m currently investigating. If I can just find a way to link things together, I can get justice for a lot of people, including Carla.
But she was pissed off with me by then. I’d aggravated her by shutting her down initially, I know. I’d had to be realistic about her lack of evidence. I know she was scared, despite her bravado. And it hurt her. And I’m so sorry. I didn’t want that. I wanted to protect her. I still want to.
But that’s all I seem to do these days. Mess everything up. At work. At home. That’s my life.