Chapter Text
Disturbed, Wilson’s sleep stumbled on the sounds of small clattering and the lingering smell of food and coffee, before finally crashing down and making way for his consciousness to emerge. His eyes blinked open and his hand landed on the lukewarm blankets, encouraging him to sit up. Remnants of slumber clung to his lashes, and he rubbed them out of the way just as Vanta’s voice called to him :
“Wilson! Hurry and get up already, or breakfast will get cold!”
“Let him breathe, it’s the weekend.”
“It’s payback for all the times he woke me up with a kick in the butt.”
A small smile climbed up his mouth as he gazed at his friends cooking away in the kitchen. Vanta was scrapping some scrambled eggs off the pan in and three plates (Wilson didn’t remember them still having eggs in the fridge. He must have been asleep for longer than he thought. What was the occasion?). And Zali was…
… Zali was lifting a hand to tenderly sweep a thumb over Vanta’s cheekbone, even though there was no flour or cream to wipe. Huh, weird.
“Are we having a full out brunch -waah- or what?” He teased, yawning still. “What’s the occa-…?”
He didn’t finish his sentence. His mouth gaped, jaw loose from the shock of seeing Vanta kiss Zali on the brow. What were they doing? Physical displays of affection weren’t unusual for them, they’d been given weird looks from other people with how ‘all over each other’ they were, but this…
He rubbed furiously at his eyelids again, thinking of the sleep still clinging onto him, but the vision didn’t disappear as Zali giggled.
This was much more tender. More intimate. More loving.
His hand dropped against the cold blanket, eyes itching from the too-vigorous scrubbing. So last night wasn’t a dream, after all. The delicate exhales, the moist sounds of lips against lips that woke him up, the eager and breathless “I’m kissing my homie goodnight” from Vanta. It was all true.
His fist clenched and unclenched, nerves numb. Okay. Okay.
“Come on, Wilson,” Zali urged him, coming over to crouch beside him. “You good? You look pale.”
“Yeah, I’m okay!” He answered, finally getting up, and then gasped when the full extent of the meal was laid before him on the table: perfectly scrambled eggs, bacon sizzling in the pan, steaming hot tea and coffee and juice and bread and fluffy pancakes. “How come you made such a big breakfast? You should have woken me up earlier, I would have helped!”
Vanta and Zali exchanged bashful glances before they sat down. “You might want to sit down for this one, Wilson,” the former suggested, and Wilson complied, a little stunned.
They sat properly, Vanta in front of him and Zali to his right, but Wilson still felt cornered somehow. Their tone was soft, almost too soft for the rushing against his ears.
“Do you remember what happened yesterday night?” Zali started.
Wilson nodded, tense, but rolled his shoulders on purpose to will the tightness away. His whole body felt locked up, like he was bracing for impact, or standing on the edge of a cliff. His mind was picking up on every little clues and he knew, he already knew what they were going to say…
“Zali and me, we kind of have been… huh, how would you say this?” Vanta struggled to explain, grabbing a mouthful of pancakes, maybe hoping the mechanical chewing of his jaw would kickstart the gears in his brain.
“We’re trying a relationship,” Zali confessed, clear and clinical.
But not emotionless. Wilson could hear them, the little hints, the worry in that sentence, and the need Zali felt to cover it up with a distant behavior.
“Huh?”
“Yeah, we’re going out together,” Vanta nodded, voice slow and words articulated.
He was trying to give Wilson the space to process, but the worry was even more obvious in Vanta than it was in Zali: the hunched shoulders, the slight furrow in his brows as if daring him to be mad. The urge to diffuse the tension grabbed Wilson’s throat, shaking a laugh out of him:
“Huh, really? Why are you telling me when I just woke up! Couldn’t you wait until I was a little more awake?”
They chuckled with him, a little more relieved. He brought a hand on his lap, clutching hard on the hem of his shirt.
What? What? They were going out together? Vanta and Zali? But he thought… He thought they agreed not to do anything. He thought they had an implicit, wordless… something that forbade them from trying anything because there were three of them and a relationship is two people and one of them would feel left out, so they should always remain on equal ground and at equal distance of each other! How did this happen?
“How… How did it, happen?” he mumbled, echoing his thoughts and abruptly munching on the pancakes. The texture was bland, his taste buds as glued to the roof of his mouth as the rest of his tongue felt. But at least, in chewing, he could pretend he was still functioning.
They never talked about it. The possibility of it. He thought they wouldn’t ever break that taboo. But he had… He had-! He had waited. Buried. Because he thought they would never.
“How?” Vanta thought for a second, reminiscing with a glance upwards. “Pretty hard to miss, it was at the basketball game.” He exchanged another glance with Zali, who nodded. “You remember how I got a concussion and Zali came to help? Apparently, I confessed to him, even though at that time I didn’t even know. I blurted it out and it’s only afterward that it hit me.”
Oh, Wilson remembered the basketball game. How he was worried, but not that much, because injuries happened and Vanta had already been knocked down in front of him a few times, always getting back up right away with a laugh and a little bit of vertigo.
And then Vanta didn’t get back up and Zali was running and Wilson was just standing there, among the whispering crowd like he was just another nobody. He tried to go to their side, but the referee never let him through, stating Zali was only allowed because he was a medical student. He remembered the helplessness gathering in a big lump at the top of his throat when they took Vanta away.
He only swallowed it to comfort Zali, offering to stay with him during classes. Only after a full hour holding his hand under the desk and whispering encouragements and things Vanta would have said if he saw him moping, did the lump melt away. Vanta never let him down and said exactly what Wilson expected him to, and Zali smiled again and Vanta was all better again and everything was fine again.
Except it didn’t last. The very next day, awkwardness stuck to their limbs and gazes, and Wilson got worried, suggesting they went stargazing in an attempt at making things right again.
“You see that time we went stargazing?” Zali said, picking up Wilson’s scattered thoughts, and his fingers, as if he needed to feel their connection by grasping his knuckles. “While you were sleeping, I told Vanta I would give him an answer,” he said while twirling Wilson’s index between his fingers. It kept the tightness away, for a while. “He wasn’t quite in his right mind, but I still felt like I should answer, take the time to think it over and not discard it.”
The light was now flooding the apartment, as they reached that time when the sun would hit the window just right. Speckles of dust floated loosely around them, reminding him of the sparks from the fire of that night.
Wilson’s stomach twisted in painful knots. He had been asleep. He had been asleep when such a big conversation happened right under his nose.
It reminded him of how strangled he felt when Zali suggested making wishes.
All three of them bundled up in their own little nook of nature, witnesses to the magical prowess of the universe, in harmony with the wind on their faces and the ground on their backs. He had lifted his gaze to the stars plastered on the night sky, breathed the fresh and humid air into his lungs, felt the shiver of the cold outside of the blanket, thought for a second… and nothing came.
I wish… and a nameless ache had gobbled up whatever he could have said. Nothing came to his mind, unless he brought it up to the surface level, with silly little childhood dreams. He still felt strangled.
“Wilson?” Vanta called, holding his gaze from across the table, mouthful of eggs forgotten for a second. “You good?”
“Yeah, it’s just a lot to process,” Wilson nodded with a little smile. “I just had no idea so much was going on all at once!”
Zali gave him a look, like he didn’t quite believe him, tilting his head. Right, he couldn’t pretend too much. He gulped half a glass of juice, because he was hungry despite the uncomfortable clamping of his stomach.
“I mean, I noticed something was up with you two,” He said while looking at Zali, who nodded, pacified, and sipped at his coffee. “One time you’re all awkward, and the next you’re basically flirting. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, though, so I said nothing.”
They ate for a few seconds, because the smell was exquisite and called to them in a way no student on a budget could resist.
“So…” Wilson piped up again. “You’ve been going on dates while I was at work?”
“We have,” Zali confirmed. “I’m sorry if you’ve felt left out, Wilson. We were trying to figure things out and… it didn’t feel right for me to confide in you and ask you to help me resolve it.”
“And I also couldn’t just bother you!” Vanta added. “Imagine if I just came to you asking if this or that felt like a good idea for a date.”
“You did, tho?”
“Huh?”
A genuine laugh wormed its way up Wilson’s throat at Vanta’s adorable face scrunching up in confusion. “I mean, you came to me to ask ‘Is my outfit good’, or ‘What do you think of the reviews for this place’. You didn’t do it that much, but yeah, I assumed it was for you and Zali to spend time while I was working.” He cleared his plate with another chuckle as Vanta’s mouth morphed into a small ‘ooo’ of wonder. “I think you managed to fool me because there were also places we were going where it was just the two of us, or the three of us.”
“Wow, I didn’t even notice!” Vanta giggled. Zali exhaled an amused snort.
“And so? You’re going out together now?”
They just told you they are, idiot! He got up from his chair to put his plate in the sink and started scrubbing at it, his back to them.
“Yes, since yesterday. Sorry for waking you up.”
“It’s alright, I fell asleep right back.”
“Sooo… you’re okay with it, right? It doesn’t bother you?”
Vanta’s question made him pause, squeezing the sponge a little harder. A few water droplets splashed on his face, a trail of foam trickling down his cheek. He wiped it as Zali joined him by the sink, carrying his own plate and cutlery to drop them in. He watched the water swallowing it like he would watch an hourglass spit out sand. He had to answer. Find something that felt true enough. Shake away the cold wetness climbing up his arms as he scrubbed away.
“I mean, I AM pretty surprised, but I wouldn’t say it bothers me. Just give me a few hours to get used to the idea and it’ll be fine, I think.”
“Alright, that’s great!”
Vanta’s voice got closer and Wilson jumped, feeling a warm hand land on his shoulder. Vanta opened the pantry right above his head (Wilson was the only one with no risk of bumping his skull against it, thanks to his short height) and gave him a side hug at the same time. His torso pressed against Wilson’s back and ribs, his warmth seeping under his own skin, forbidden to go away by the firm grip the tallest had on his shoulder. Wilson sucked in a quiet breath, surprised, before feeling the usual shivers crawling up his spine, urging him to escape before he betrayed himself. Now even more so than before.
Thankfully Vanta retreated, done with putting everything back into place, and Wilson breathed a little easier.
“Well, it may be the weekend, but I still have a shift today,” He announced while drying his hands, squeezing hard enough to crack his knuckles, but not hard enough to get rid of the cold.
“Again?!” Vanta protested, annoyed in his stead. “They’re really running you dry!”
“It’s okay,” Zali tempered, even though he looked disappointed as well. “You’ll get those extra hours back, right?”
“Yeah, we’ve already arranged it. I’ll have more free time soon.”
Zali gave Vanta a look, likely saying something along the lines of ‘See? I told you so’, and the taller one eased up. Their hands found each other, as easy as taking a breath, and Wilson’s eyes glued themselves to the intertwined fingers, feeling something unpleasant rise up.
What face was he making? Was his distress visible? It shouldn’t. He couldn’t. He could not, under any circumstances, risk them thinking he wasn’t okay with this. What if they thought he was uncomfortable? What if they thought he was homophobic? That would be the worst possible outcome, and his mind raced to disappointed and scornful faces.
“I’ll get going before I’m late! See you later, guys, have fun!”
He bolted out of the apartment like it was catching on fire.
OOO
“No, I’m sorry Ma’am, this price is normal… The discount? It’s written right here, it’s for the other product, not the one you have.”
“Yes, we have several kinds! Which one would you like, mister? … No, we don’t have this one. … I only said we have several kinds, not all kinds…”
“Yes, let me open the door for you, ma’am, have a nice day!”
“Yeah, it’s right here, let me show you! It’s nothing, I’m glad I could help.”
“Guys, the delivery is here, can someone cover for Vox at the counter? He’s the one with the list.”
“That’ll be 59,60 dollars.”
“Yeah, it’s right here, Mister… It’s nothing.”
“That’ll be 1,07 dollars.”
“Mister, are you okay? You’ve passed by the aisle four times already.”
“Kids… this is not nearly enough money for what you want to buy.”
“You want me to help pack everything in your car?? I, huh… I’m sorry, we don’t do drive or delivery service, ma’am… Yes, I know, I’m sorry. I’ll help you put them aside so you can go back and forth… Yes, I’ll make sure no one tries to steal it. It’s okay. I have to go back to work, now, have a nice day.”
“You serious? You kids, I told you the right amount already! Put it back where you found it if you don’t have the money.”
“Thank you for your visit, have a nice day.”
“Yes, of course…”
“That’ll be…”
“Wilson! I’m taking over, you can go!”
“Oh, finally!”
The dark veil across his eyes ripped open. His tunnel vision peeled itself away from the numbers, the items and the coins as he noticed the ground, his tired limbs, the faces of people and the late afternoon. All around, the world calmed down, the convenience store slowly emptying itself of light and clients.
A movement in the corner of his eyes caught his attention and he turned around to see Vox waving at him.
“You’re taking over?” Wilson asked as he jogged over to his manager. “You were already here this morning.”
“Yeah, I’m on closing and opening time, but only because I took a very long break in the middle of the day,” Vox reassured him as he opened the lock to the changing room. The freshness in the air and the newfound privacy made Wilson heave the biggest sigh of the day as he slumped against his locker. “You have it rougher than I do, truly,” Vox chuckled.
Wilson nodded weakly and glided all the way down to the floor. He felt both hot because of the constant movement and cold because of the air-conditioning of his workplace. He couldn’t wait to get out of the building, get home and have a shower.
“That rough?” Vox said, lingering by the door.
“Damn right it was,” Wilson agreed, getting up to take off his uniform. “I can’t believe people keep asking me questions I’ve never heard before. It’s like, I think I’ve heard it all and then I’m asked the most unhinged thing! No, I won’t bring your stuff to your car, it’s literally like twenty feet away! You have legs! I have work!”
He ranted away, glad to feel the irritation slowly getting off his chest with tiny bursts of anger. Dealing with customers was sometimes nice, but always hard. He could usually deal with it, but too much of a thing was bound to bring its lot of burdens. Honestly, he felt way more angry than he usually would. Maybe he was really reaching his tipping point.
He slammed his locker shut a little too forcefully, unable to contain the annoyance-imbued energy he felt coursing in his veins.
“Yeah, but you really saved me here,” Vox tried to soften the blow. “I know I’m the manager, but it’s really hard keeping everything on track.”
Wilson nodded, fuming a little less. “Anytime, Vox. Though, maybe not anytime soon, I shouldn’t speak too fast. When is Millie coming back, again? It’s terrible being even one person short.”
Usually, Wilson had time to wander between the cash register and the back, helping with unpacking and delivery and tidying when he was tired of people, and going to the front to answer questions and offer small talk when his back hurt from carrying boxes. Today, he remained glued to his spot at the cash register, endlessly trying to haste so that the line would stop growing bigger. His knees hurt from fidgeting in one place.
It just wasn’t the same when one person was missing, and for some reason, the thought irked him. It didn’t feel right. He felt needlessly frustrated and hated how those misplaced emotions put him on edge.
“Soon, I got a message earlier today. You’ll have your usual schedule back next week,” Vox reassured him with a pat on the shoulder. “Thanks for your help, Wilson.”
“Let’s just hope it’s for good this time,” Wilson sighed bitterly, following him. “It’s already the second week you’ve promised me. I’m not angry at you!” He rushed to add when Vox flinched oh so subtly. “It’s just that this whole situation has got me exhausted. I could really use a nap.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry you’ve felt left out, since all the others managed to have a week off.”
And then Vox was stopping him in his tracks, right by the door, holding his shoulder. “But I promise you this: whether the team is full or not, you will have next week off.”
Wilson would be a fool not to notice how sincere Vox was in this moment, eyes full of determination. And he did notice. He smiled at his coworker and thanked him for his promise, joked about holding him at gunpoint to make sure he would commit, said goodbye with a wave of his arms and got onto the bus.
However, the ache was still there, the anger still swirling in his guts. I’m sorry you’ve felt left out. Weren’t those Zali’s exact words?
All of a sudden, the misplaced anger didn’t feel all that misplaced. He was much less angry at his work situation than he was at his… other situation. Why was there anger in there? He thought as he looked at his stomach and pressed a hand against his rib cage.
The shock he felt this morning was slowly trickling down, like a wax mask melting to reveal the hard and metallic truth boiling over behind it: he was angry at them. How dare they? Why were they doing this if they felt sorry for it? Why were they leaving him out in the first place?!
No, it’s not the problem. The problem was elsewhere, but the source was hard to pinpoint. He didn’t want to resent them. He didn’t want the painful clench of his heart when he thought about them, and about the past week. They had so much fun, despite him being busy, so why was he angry?!
They sat down together with him to explain. They didn’t leave him in the dark. They asked about his feelings. If anything, they had been gracious. I hate this. Why did he still want to be angry?
A shudder went through him at the thought. He wanted to be angry? What even was that?
Never before had his feelings been both so loud and vague. They swirled and churned, lapping at the shore of his consciousness like a warning: something much more stormy was coming, but he didn’t know how to read the waves.
OOO
Monday felt like a godsend. Finally, homework and classes and meals and activities to take care of, to busy his mind with. Finally, the quiet eyes of students passing by to look at their little trio, recognizing their silhouette and expecting. Wilson could deal with expectations. It gave his mind a certain shape, made him act a certain way.
He liked betraying expectations, or playing into them and being the only one knowing he was no fool about it. It earned him a couple of weird looks, sure, but Vanta and Zali always knew when he was joking or pretending.
Today, he used those expectations to remind himself of how he used to behave, because the waves did not leave and kept taking up space, forcing him to forget how he used to be before they were here: less full, more quiet, more free.
It was even easier because they had a VIP spectator with them at lunch. Claude sat down with them, chatting along, front row to their usual banter. Zali had finished his classes a little late and offered him to join them. It happened often enough that he was almost an unofficial member of their close circle.
“Okay, hear me out, hear me out,” Vanta demanded, trying to make a point about Truth or Dare. “It’s pointless to make someone do a dare on their specialty. Like, there’s no fun about it if someone asks me to do a basketball trick, I know what I do. There’s no point in quizzing Zali or you on medicinal shit, right? But give it to someone else… see where I’m going? If we just switch the questions.”
“Dude, I agree, but that means everyone has to know everyone. Unless you’re a hardcore jock who goes out every time there’s a party and you talk to everyone, you’ll have a hard time organizing something like that.”
“But I’m sick of people asking me to do basketball tricks every time we go to a party!” He leaned back on his chair, whining to the heavens, and they all chuckled at his misery.
“We only went four times to parties during our entire schooling, Vanta,” Wilson teased, nudging him in the flank.
“I know, but that makes it three times too many! Can’t they ask the other members who come?”
Zali snorted, leaning forward to pat him on the forearm. Vanta sighed and put his other hand on the table, maybe to straighten up and eat, or maybe to straighten up and keep complaining.
But then, something happened. Wilson, drinking from his bottle, noticed the clenching of muscles indicating that Vanta was about to pull his own body up, and right this instant, he stopped drinking, putting the cap back on just as Vanta righted himself, and leaned just a tiny bit towards his friend, shoulder hunched and ready to receive the moping head, and maybe grace it with a few pacifying pats.
Except Vanta didn’t slump on Wilson’s shoulder. Instead, he kept leaning forward and grabbed Zali’s hand.
Huh.
Zali squeezed in return, and then Vanta stopped to eat, finally. A little stunned, Wilson blinked, eyes unfocused.
Since when did Wilson develop this reflex of offering Vanta his shoulder to cry on? Since when had the crook of his neck taken the exact shape of Vanta’s skull, fitting just right like a couple of magnets? And since when did they stop attracting each other just like that?
The waves lapped at his face in one big swipe, draining his face of color as he struggled to regain composure. Why did he notice this habit only when he was denied the comfort of it?
“Hahahhh…” He chuckled, soulless. His grip on his bottle tightened, and the plastic squeaked and whimpered in his fist.
That was weird, right? To feel so dejected over a mere head touch. That was weird that he wanted Vanta to keep holding Zali’s hand, but to also lean on him, right?
On the longest nights before Zali’s arrival, he had expected it, the jealousy. He knew he would have to share Vanta all of a sudden, instead of being the only one of his closest circle. And he would have to reveal Zali to the world, instead of hiding him in that secret corner of his heart, talking about him to others as he would a fairy, or a long-gone hero.
But that wasn’t what he was feeling right now. Jealousy was acidic, gnawed at you and corroded your veins. The waves were stronger than that. They didn’t empty him, on the contrary, they filled him to the brim with something unpleasant by its intensity.
“You good, Wilson?”
Vanta’s chin wasn’t on his shoulder, but his gaze was on his face, so it worked a bit to calm him down.
“Yeah, I think the water almost went the wrong pipe, and I managed not to choke.”
Zali was looking at him too, a bit of teeth nibbling at his lip in worry.
“Sip slowly,” he instructed him, despite knowing his blonde friend already knew that. Wilson nodded anyway and ostensibly took a slower gulp. His face felt prickly, like something unsettling was just a breath away.
He understood what it was as soon as Claude’s gaze met his own. The medic student was scanning him, a pensive tilt of his head and those piercing, piercing clear eyes watching through him. This time, Wilson choked for good, startled by the unblinking stare.
“Kof! Kof! Kof! Hurk!”
“Hey! You alright? Man, be careful!” Vanta cried, hovering over him the next second.
Wilson coughed up the remaining water into his hand, lungs burning from the foreign liquid invading his body. Vanta’s hand rhythmically slapped his back with encouragements. It helped less with coughing up water and more with finding his breathing again, exhaling with every slap.
Eyelids screwed shut, he focused on inhaling properly, and then opened his eyes after a few seconds to find a paper towel his way. He grabbed what Claude was handing him and blew his nose, wiped his face, and regained his composure, hopefully for good this time.
“You know what you need?” Vanta piped up, sitting back straight. “A nap. A long nap. Is it because you’re working too hard?”
“I’m okay, Vanta,” Wilson replied, grateful he had finished his food. His plate was soaked now. “You know what I really need? A good coffee. I need to stay awake for school too.”
“If you like good coffee, I know just the place!” Claude mentioned. “There’s this “floral coffee shop” I know in a quiet street, they have really good coffee there, and there’s a special price for students who come at least three times a week.”
“That’s unusual,” Wilson said, grateful for the distraction. Claude might just have done so on purpose. “Discounts are for more necessary products like food, right?”
“That’s what I thought too, at first, but now I pass by almost every day. Where is your workplace again?”
“It’s on Wave Avenue, number eight.”
“I think that’s close by, yeah.”
“Don’t hesitate to pass by,” Wilson suggested, ever the employee of the month. “Though please do that next week, when I’m off. The fewer customers I have to deal with for now, the better.”
They all laughed, and it seemed like the signal to go, because everyone gathered his stuff and stood up. He followed a little behind, still feeling the water in his lungs.
“I’m sorry I startled you, by the way,” Claude whispered as he matched his stride. “But, Wilson, if…”
“Wilson.”
His head snapped up at Zali’s call, worried about the edge in it. But it was merely worry he saw in his eyes, as the taller one waited for him to catch up.
“How are you sleeping lately? Are you getting enough food? What about exercising?” Zali inquired, likely running through his mental checklist. “I know you can’t get time off work lately, but if we help you stay in shape, it’ll be easier to not get sick in the long run…”
“I’m fine, Zali,” Wilson smiled, warmed to his core. “I’ll take a closer look at how I’m eating and sleeping and exercising,” He added as the other opened his mouth again. “But I’m pretty sure it’s nothing a good nap won’t help.”
Zali let it go, at last, and they were about to each leave for their class, and Wilson couldn’t wait for the time alone to gather his thoughts and settle the unease. It was difficult to get alone time to do so, lately.
But Claude stayed behind, grabbing his arm just before leaving:
“Wilson. Is it okay if I pass by as soon as tomorrow? We could spend your lunch break together and I could show you the coffee shop?”
“Tomorrow?” Wilson gulped.
“I mean, it is very close to your workplace, and it’s quiet,” Claude expanded, scratching his cheek in embarrassment. “I know that Zali and Vanta are worried about you, and I kinda am, too. They told me you spend your breaks in the locker room. So if we can find someplace you can be at ease and away from work, at least for the lunch break, it should be better, right?”
Dumbfounded, Wilson took a few minutes to stare at Claude. He considered him a friend, tho not as close as his two childhood friends, but he didn’t expect the other to voice it as well, so soon and so easily. It felt nice to learn the feeling was mutual.
“So, are you okay with tomorrow?”
And like an idiot, Wilson said yes.
OOO
For some reason, Wilson spent the next 24 hours dreading whatever Claude had planned for him. What knowledge hid behind those clear eyes? What fresh perspective allowed him to see something Wilson was unaware of? Because he wasn’t dumb. Claude had something to say, and it was difficult enough a conversation that he hid it behind a hangout.
So when Claude popped his head in at the convenience store, Wilson smiled him welcome and braced himself. He left for the locker room, changed quickly and followed his friend out.
“The weather is sooo warm, I like it,” Claude babbled on as soon as they left. “Like, the perfect temperature.”
“In Canada, it might even be considered hot,” Wilson indulged him.
“You’re from Canada?!”
“I have family there, yes.”
“Oh, I see. Is it like Zali? He told me he spent quite a lot of time in France. Do you have a second home there?”
“Oh, no! All my family is here. It’s not like Zali who’s the only one. But my grandparents on my father’s side are still up there. We try to visit at least once a year. I’d like to take Vanta and Zali with me, once.”
And just like that, they talked about home, upcoming traveling project, where they went before, how easy it is to lose track of time on vacation, how the language barrier worked… It felt nice to confirm this gut feeling, this suspicion that he and Claude would really get along. The medical student guided them to the promised coffee shop, and he didn’t tell a single lie.
“Welcome to my humble abode.” Claude declared proudly, extending his arms.
“Yeah, I remember that coffee shop! I saw you there once.” Wilson realized, recognizing the place he saw he and Zali talking last time.
It was indeed very close to Wilson’s work, in a small nook of the main road, the pine green walls covered in greenery. As soon as they went inside and Claude closed the door, all sounds quieted down, muffled by the thick walls and the vegetation. The fresh smell of the forest gently wafted around, diffused by the dozen potted plants flourishing on the shelves.
The small clinking of cups against saucers, the rustling of paper, the muted clatter of fingers against keyboards, the peaceful munching, the barely-there whirring of the coffee machine, the relaxed background music… A layer of silence covered every sound, like moss would blanket the forest. Wilson felt even his thoughts quiet down.
“So?” Claude whispered. “Pretty good, right?”
He nodded absently, looking around the dark wooden tables and a few paintings. Claude guided them to a small nook, and explained the menu to him. It was a reasonable price, especially the coffee. A waiter came by and took their order, voice barely above a whisper and tone gentle.
“I feel like I entered a SPA salon,” Wilson blurted out as they ate.
Claude snorted hard enough to choke, laughing as he tried to swallow.
“Haha! Hak! Kof! You ruined the vibes forever, kof! I’m never going to be able to unsee it. Is it revenge for yesterday?”
Wilson exhaled a breathy laugh, recalling how he almost died choking because of Claude. He smirked.
“Who knows?”
“That’s petty, you can do better.”
“That was just an appetizer. Do you want me to get revenge?”
“Hardly,” Claude held his shin between two fingers, gazing critically at Wilson. “You look like if you held grudges, you’d never stop chasing. I don’t wanna be on the receiving end of that.”
“But do I look like I hold grudges?” Wilson insisted, arms crossing over his torso and leaning back on his chair.
“Nah. You look like someone does it for you.”
“I’ll leave that to your imagination.”
Claude laughed again and they kept on munching. Talking with him was as easy as it was with Vanta and Zali. He lacked a few -no, a ton- of inside jokes, but he was witty and kind. His muscles relaxed in the comfy chair, his whirling thoughts came to a still, and he found himself simply enjoying his lunch, for once.
Their conversation was as smooth as their movements, syncing up as they finished eating, left the place and kept walking to a small park, trees and benches strewed all around in a serpentine maze. Dead leaves and shoes imprints littered the dirt path, and Wilson marveled at the traces of all the other people who passed by here.
“So you’re the next to get a scar?” Claude joked, bringing him back to their conversation about Zali’s and Vanta’s faces.
“Huh, no. That looks really painful, especially Vanta,” Wilson shrugged, shivering at the memory. “You weren’t there when he was bawling his eyes out and covered in blood.”
“Wouldn’t it be fun if you three matched, tho?” The innocent tone didn’t do enough to hide the actual content of the sentence, and Wilson paused to stare at Claude for a few seconds.
“You’re kinda unhinged, you know that?”
Claude shrugged and knocked over a few leaves and stones, his gesture straightened by the gust of wind. The weather had been slowly turning to cloudy during the whole day.
“Besides, it’s good enough that they match together,” Wilson conceded. He bent down and picked up a twig, scraping trees as they passed it by. “We’ve known each other our whole lives, but that doesn’t mean everything that happens to one of us will happen to the others.”
The scraping scratched the itch their exchange brought him: things were standing still, never quite straying from a subject he had trouble grasping. Their words twined around the topic of Vanta and Zali, always.
And next to him, Claude kept his hands in his pockets, not moving much, focused on the conversation.
“You know, I wonder how Vanta and Zali noticed their feelings changing, then. You’re always stuck together as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Humans don’t question much what feels instinctual.”
The ease Wilson found back for a few hours fled again, tail between its legs, scared away by the growing suspicion. He threw the twig away in the bushes and faced Claude more earnestly, brows furrowing and fist clenching.
“I’m guessing something unusual happened. I wouldn’t pry, and neither should you, you know.”
He tried his best to keep his tone casual, but Claude’s easy questions turned sour the moment he understood Claude wanted to hear him say something very specific. However, he would never, under any circumstances, slander them.
He knew what he looked like to others. How his two best friends could appear as bad guys, leaving their third friend all alone, to fend for himself while they went on their little honeymoon. How they abandoned him.
Claude would never hear it from him, because they didn’t. They kept including him, kept him around, always, and their friendship as a whole was still stronger than Vanta and Zali’s relationship.
But instead of rebutting him, instead of using snake-like questions to get some drama out of him as he expected, Claude let out the most awkward laugh he could have heard.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry! Chill, dude,” he placated, hands leaving his pockets at last to fly in the air, waving away Wilson’s expectations. “I’m so sorry you thought I was after some dumb gossip! I’m not, I swear! I mean, gossip is actually really important in the community we live in, it’s a way to maintain secure bonds with everyone and it’s been brought down and badmouthed by the patriarchal society, but that’s not what I’m looking for.”
“But you ARE looking for something!” Wilson countered, pointing his index at him.
“Not like this! ... Let’s keep walking, there’s a grandma behind giving us weird looks.” A slight check in his peripheral vision later and Wilson resumed walking next to Claude, not without giving him the stink eye. “If I am to explain, well… I’m worried about you. This kind of situation is tricky to be in, and you might be inclined to keep some stuff bottled up for Zali and Vanta’s sake. I was just trying to give you the space to let it out, or at least think about it.”
That… was very thoughtful. And very selfless of Claude, to take the time to spend a lunch break with him, just so he could vent if he needed to. But the look in his eyes felt sincere, and Wilson’s sour expression melted, so much so that his eyes glided to the floor, hands dropping by his side.
“That’s… thank you. But why would you go to such lengths just to help me?”
“Don’t think too hard about it,” Claude almost pleaded, a hand on his shoulder. “I like being friends with you three, we clicked pretty good, right? And I like to preach my select few about this coffee shop. And I knew I would get bored today, so I ensured I’d have someone to talk to. Also, I do really like gossip. And I like thinking up solutions for people’s problems. There’s a bunch of reason, as you can see!”
Wilson nodded, a little surprised that they reached the end of their path already and ended up on the other side of the park.
“So, yeah, anything you wanna let out, you can tell me. I won’t tell a soul, and maybe it’ll be easier for you.”
“Anything…”
It was Wilson’s turn to put his hands in his pockets, thoughts munching on the idea. Was there anything he would be able to formulate, to give words to? That nameless ache was silent right now, rendered peaceful by Claude’s presence. Words simply didn’t fit, and so he didn’t try to match them with what he felt. Seemed he would go a while longer thrown around by the tide, but it didn’t feel so dreadful.
“Maybe another time,” He said to the sky, before going on about his way. It was nearly the end of his break.
“I’m free anytime,” Claude shrugged, clearly a bit disappointed. Wilson chuckled and went on another hellish afternoon.