Chapter Text
People come in life. People go. People leave and come back.
And sometimes, it’s perhaps better if the people who leave don’t come back.
Tonight is supposed to be a good night. It’s Shi Qingxuan’s eighteenth birthday — the girl everyone loves. Is it because her brother is rich and she always throws the best parties? Possibly, but the house is bustling and loud anyway, filled with classmates from their college who have spoken to her maybe once or twice the whole time they’ve attended the same school; drinking, using substances. But her parties are always a night to remember.
Of her smaller circle, there’s He Xuan, her girlfriend, as well as Hua Cheng, who’s He Xuan’s best friend, along with Feng Xin and Mu Qing. Mu Qing is only ‘friends’ (he would insist not) because him, He Xuan, and Hua Cheng entered their stereotypical, so-called emo phase at a similar time, and often stand outside college to share a cigarette before and after class.
Like now, outside the house. Feng Xin is inside hiding from the women while Mu Qing, He Xuan, and Hua Cheng smoke together. Shi Qingxuan clings to He Xuan’s arm with an Elf bar in her hand, swaying at her side and humming along to the music badly. While Hua Cheng generally finds this crowd detestable, he’s here because otherwise He Xuan would be stuck alone, and so far, it could be worse.
That is until someone new walks into the house. Mu Qing sees first, eyes widening as he staggers back against the bush, looking as if he’s seen a ghost.
“Holy shit,” he says, “Why is Xie Lian here?!”
Hua Cheng’s heart stops too. Xie Lian.
Well, he hasn’t heard that name in a few years. He follows Mu Qing’s line of vision, where he catches a split-second glimpse of the familiar figure, but it’s unmistakable. White jeans, white blazer, long brown hair. While Hua Cheng may look very different a decade later, Xie Lian looks like a carbon copy of the boy Hua Cheng once knew.
“Who?” Shi Qingxuan perks up, staggering against He Xuan’s arm. He Xuan catches her, staring at Hua Cheng with a subtle smirk twitching at her lips, though she doesn’t say anything yet.
“Xie Lian,” Mu Qing repeats through gritted teeth. “Why is he here?!”
“Xie Lian…?” Shi Qingxuan ponders aloud, before peering to the entrance hall and spotting him. “Oh, Xie Lian, right! He followed me on Instagram and asked about my birthday party. He says he’s moved here recently and will be starting at our college, so I said he was welcome to come along!”
With pure venom, Mu Qing glares at her, albeit it comes out as more of a pout, as he rolls his eyes and drags on the cigarette.
“Is that a problem? He said he moved from far away, I felt bad for him,” Shi Qingxuan insists, “Wait, why do you know his name?”
“Because that’s that Xie Lian!” Mu Qing yells, pacing back and forth. “Me and Feng Xin in college— We were friends with— Some stuff— Never mind! I just don’t want to see him?!”
Without seeming too obvious, Hua Cheng raises an eyebrow. He’s been acquaintances (friend is a strong word) with Mu Qing and Feng Xin for a year now and hasn’t ever heard them mention this mysterious Xie Lian person, who just so happens to be the same Xie Lian whom Hua Cheng knows from childhood. But he keeps quiet, not wanting to expose himself when he’s still reeling from the fact Xie Lian is here. And He Xuan smirking at him knowingly… God, he wants to punch her.
“Ohh,” Shi Qingxuan nods vaguely, clearly not gauging the severity of the situation. She peers into the window, hazy eyes eventually locating him. “He seems to be getting along with Feng Xin just fine!”
“Feng Xin?!” Mu Qing yelps, his head whipping around to see Feng Xin and Xie Lian hugging, seemingly delighted to be reunited. He throws the cigarette into the bushes and storms inside, yelling through the front door, “Feng Xin! What the—?!”
His frantic shouts fade out as he runs into the house, leaving the three outside in awe.
“That was so weird,” Shi Qingxuan chuckles, untangling herself from He Xuan’s arm. “I’m gonna go ‘n see them. Hopefully Mu Qing won’t kill the new kid, hahaha!”
With that, she runs back to the house, her steps all over the place. She’s absolutely hammered, which is understandable — it’s no secret that the Shi Qingxuan loves to drink, and now that she’s eighteen, there’s no stopping her.
As soon as He Xuan and Hua Cheng are alone, He Xuan turns to Hua Cheng and smirks without holding back, dragging on the cigarette and exhaling directly at his face. When he half-frowns, half-pouts at her, He Xuan snorts, “It’s that Xie Lian, isn’t it?”
Suddenly, Hua Cheng is regretting all the truths he spilled to his best friend back in secondary school, those nights they spent alone, sharing joints on the roof of his foster house. All he told her about his childhood love, who unknowingly saved his life multiple times, but moved away without a trace a decade ago. She doesn’t bring it up, but Hua Cheng has uttered the name Xie Lian too many times for her to just forget.
“He won’t recognise me now,” Hua Cheng says, flicking the cigarette onto the ground and grinding it out with his heel. Hopefully, that’s the case; he couldn’t bear for Xie Lian to remember him as the pitiful person he was back then, covered in scars, half his face covered with bandages.
“Sure,” He Xuan huffs, still grinning at him subtly.
“Do not say a word,” Hua Cheng instructs her firmly. “Especially not to Qingxuan. She’ll run her mouth immediately.”
“I wouldn’t tell her anyway,” He Xuan says, as she puts out her cigarette on the ground as well. “You want a joint?”
“… No,” Hua Cheng mutters, “I think I’ll go home. Xie Lian can flourish without me tonight.”
“Oh, please,” He Xuan scoffs, “I thought we grew out of our emo phase.”
“I don’t think you ever did,” Hua Cheng retorts, gesturing to her all-black outfit; fishnet tights, black leather shirt, tucked in Pierce the Veil T-shirt and thigh-length boots decorated with chains. “Either way, I’m going home.”
“Alright,” He Xuan sighs, running a hand through her hair as she reluctantly concludes that Shi Qingxuan will be her sole company for the rest of the night. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”
“I might reply,” Hua Cheng chuckles.
That’s for tomorrow. Tonight, he has a bigger priority: going home and brooding over all the memories of his childhood crush he never got over even after a decade, knowing he’s back in his life and he has a whole new identity to build.
It’s rare that anyone Feng Xin knows is present at Shi Qingxuan’s house parties, so you can imagine the surprise when he’s stood in the corner of the room (hiding from the women) and suddenly spots Xie Lian walking into the entrance hall.
“Holy fuck,” he mutters, striding over to the other and grabbing his arm. “Xie Lian, is that you?”
Xie Lian jolts, turning to Feng Xin, eyes widening. As soon as he gets over the shot, his face lights up with a beaming smile. “Yes, it’s me!” he replies, “Wow, it’s been so long! What, three, four years?”
“About that, yeah,” Feng Xin nods, his heart racing. In the back of his mind, their last ever interaction resurfaces and it wasn’t a positive one, but he likes to think they’ve moved on, and Xie Lian looks just as delighted to see someone he knows. “Fucking hell, I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Well, I moved here, ahaha,” Xie Lian laughs nervously, reaching out his arms to hug him. Feng Xin returns the hug immediately, patting his back in an odd but warming reunion.
What could possibly go wrong?
“Feng Xin! What the hell?!”
Mu Qing could go wrong, that’s what. He storms over to the two, grabbing Feng Xin’s hand and yanking him back harshly.
“What are you doing?!” he shout-whispers, in an attempt to hide from Xie Lian. (Xie Lian can hear every word, obviously.)
“Uh, greeting Xie Lian?” Feng Xin responds, dumbfounded. “Qing’er, he just moved here. We’ve spoken like two words.”
“Well that’s two too many! You know he’s— We— You know!”
“Ah, I’m not really…” Xie Lian hesitantly interjects, before backtracking and raising an eyebrow. “Qing’er? Are you two…?”
“Mu Qing! Feng Xin! Xie Lian—! Hey, it’s me! Me! From Instagram! Shi Qingxuan!”
Before Xie Lian can question whether they’re in a relationship, which is an understandable query considering last time they knew each other, the two had indescribable tension and insisted they hated each other, Shi Qingxuan comes running over. She crashes into Xie Lian, pulling him into a hug and squealing.
“It’s me!” she repeats, “I’m so excited to meet you! There’re never new people around here!”
“Ah, well, I used to live here a few years ago,” Xie Lian explains, “I actually used to know Feng Xin and Mu Qing!”
“Really?! That’s insane!” Shi Qingxuan gasps dramatically, as she always does.
“Yeah, we used to be friends, but then I moved away,” Xie Lian says. Something about that makes Mu Qing snap, and Feng Xin fails to stop him before he throws his hand aside and storms away in a fit of rage.
“Oh, fuck no,” Feng Xin curses, trying to follow where he goes, only to watch him disappear into the crowd. “Sorry, I gotta chase after him.”
“He’ll be fine!” Shi Qingxuan insists, “We need to introduce Xie Lian to everyone!”
“No fucking way! He just left rehab three weeks ago, I’m not leaving him alone in a room full of people doing ket.”
“Uh…” Xie Lian interjects once again. “Mu Qing was where…?”
“Never mind that. I gotta go.”
“Wait, wait,” Shi Qingxuan stops him, grabbing him arm. He flinches. “Why don’t you two do some MD? I’ve got a bag in my pocket; it’ll be a good bonding activity! He never had an issue with that, right?”
“I’m not giving him more drugs! Are you fucking insane?!” Feng Xin yells, before turning around to find Mu Qing scoping out the room. When he approaches a group of guys he used to know, Feng Xin changes his mind very fast, forgetting Xie Lian is even there as he looks back to Shi Qingxuan. “Fine. Give it here.”
Shi Qingxuan clearly has no qualms about handing over the drugs. It’s a brand-new bag, and Feng Xin suspects she never really planned on using it herself, but rather giving it to someone else in exchange for their attention. Not that it’s worked out for her, albeit she’s now got Xie Lian to swamp for a little while. Feng Xin does feel a bit bad ditching Xie Lian so soon; however, Mu Qing is the priority. He shoves through the crowd until he reaches Mu Qing, grabbing his arms and pulling him away from the circle.
“We’re leaving,” he declares, hooking both arms under Mu Qing’s shoulders.
“Wait, get off me!” Mu Qing protests, but fails to fight Feng Xin off as he picks him up, holding him in the same way one might hold a screaming toddler. He carries him away, hooking Mu Qing’s thighs around his waist to prevent him jumping off and running way; ignoring the hands trying to pry away from him. Nobody bats an eye as Feng Xin carries him all the way up the stairs and into the bathroom at the end of the hall.
Once they’re in there, Feng Xin locks the door then places Mu Qing down on the sink, stood between his thighs. Mu Qing attempts to get away, but Feng Xin blocks his way.
“Qing’er,” he says, cupping his cheeks. “Calm down, seriously.”
“I-I wasn’t doing anything!” Mu Qing insists, as he knocks his head back against the mirror and takes a deep breath. “I was just… talking to people.”
“I’m not stupid. You don’t just talk to people,” Feng Xin replies, brushing a thumb over his cheek as a slight blush creeps onto his face. “It’s alright if you need to go home, if being here is making you want to use that shit. I know you’ve got work tomorrow too.”
“It’s not that… Not just being here…” Mu Qing mumbles, calming down after another few breaths, and Feng Xin finally pulls his hands away. “I don’t like the fact Xie Lian is here. I thought we’d… n-never see him again.”
“Yeah, me too, but it’s chill now, alright?” Feng Xin reassures him, hesitantly reaching into his pocket and pulling out the bag of MDMA. “Shi Qingxuan gave me this. I’m not letting you do ket here, even though I know you want to, but this is fine.”
“What is it?” Mu Qing asks, a hint of disappointment in his eyes.
“Just MD,” Feng Xin replies, opening the bag. “You want some? Only a little bit, but it’s better than fucking ket.”
“As if,” Mu Qing grunts, tentatively inspecting the bag. The blush returns to his face, his eyes falling to the floor. “You know I don’t like doing this stuff in public.”
“Why?” Feng Xin snorts, grabbing a key from his pocket. “’Cuz it makes you horny?”
“S-Shut up!” Mu Qing yelps. He grits his teeth, before changing his mind and snatching it from Feng Xin’s hand. Feng Xin watches closely as he scoops a small amount of powder onto the key, assessing whether it’s an appropriate amount, then nodding in approval. Mu Qing doesn’t hesitate as he snorts the powder, wincing a bit at the sharpness before handing it back to Feng Xin. He repeats the same process with a little less; he was never much of a drug person, especially after all that happened with Mu Qing, but nothing ever went catastrophically wrong the couple of times he did ecstasy with the other.
“Better?”
“No,” Mu Qing huffs, slumped against the mirror with a pout on his lips. “Although it’s… better than nothing, I guess.”
“That answers my question,” Feng Xin says, running his fingers over Mu Qing’s thighs. “You wanna go back out there?”
“Not yet,” Mu Qing murmurs, his eyes fixed on his lap. He sniffs hard a few times, rubbing his nose before sucking in a sharp breath.
“It’s kicking in?” Feng Xin asks, registering the way Mu Qing’s pupils slowly dilate. He feels his blood pump a little faster too, the texture of the other’s jeans under his finger tips feeling like electricity.
“A bit,” Mu Qing sulks, squirming under the touch and whimpering. “A-Xin…”
“Alright,” Feng Xin lets out a snort, hands gripping Mu Qing’s hips and sliding him to the edge of the sink. He places a soft kiss on his lips, the residual taste of cigarettes and cheap black lipstick hitting his tongue. “I can cheer you up. Did you bring any protection?”
“No? Why the hell would I?” Mu Qing scoffs, “We’re in somebody else’s house!”
“And? The door has a lock.”
“It’s… fine. We don’t need protection. Just get on with it.”
“You sure?” Feng Xin cocks an eyebrow, as Mu Qing fidgets under his touch.
“I’ve been on T for a year,” Mu Qing says, “It’s not like I’ll get pregnant.”
“If you say so,” Feng Xin shrugs. He doesn’t know enough about this stuff to question it, his dick thinks for him, and the drug dulls what little sensibility he does have.
Truly, what an interesting development to begin their final year of college.