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Mikaela leaned over to his side, the decrepit springs of the mattress creaking under his weight, and the blankets strewn around him disheveling with every movement. The dialogue of a years old animated movie repeating on the living room TV were the only echoes to be heard, and the blonde buried his face into the pillow when he vaguely remembered the rancid jar of blood that had been open on the kitchen counter for days now. However dry his mouth was, to the point where even breathing was strenuous, Mika couldn’t bear to have another essence of his Yuu disappear. No, he needed to preserve whatever was left, whatever remains he could scavenge or keep from wasting away.
Except for the man it all belonged to…
For the first few weeks since Yuu’s funeral, Mika had been a frantic mess; gathering as many of Yuu’s photos and documents from close friends and government records, purchasing [and wasting] as much of Yuu’s favorite foods as his savings could buy, coating the house with the cologne that Yuu would always wear before going out with friends (Mika never asked for the name of the brand, but he would always slowly breathe in as he embraced him, face snugged into the crook of Yuu’s neck – Yuu would always have to pull them apart or he would be late). The fancy watches that Yuu started wearing in his 40’s were scattered on the bedroom drawer, and his old t-shirts covered the couches and tables in every room. Just underneath the pillow, the feel of worn-down denim clung to the already familiar scent of my Yuu-chan.
If Mika closed his eyes and stopped thinking, abandoning himself to his keen vampiric senses, he could almost imagine the love of his life in the room with him at any given time, as if his Yuu-chan was just right there, lying on the bed behind him, arms and legs entangled around Mika’s thin waist. Yuu’s heavy breaths would stroke the skin of Mika’s exposed neck, and the blonde would feel the human’s heartbeat against his back, racing continuously faster. Just when Mika would drift off in bliss from the intimacy of it all, Yuu would shift his leg up so slowly, almost unnoticeable, until enough push and shove would earn a sharp but inexplicable-
“A-ahh…”
Mika continued to palm the growing bulge in the front of his pants, moving his hand in just the way that he remembered Yuu would – a hard circular motion against the flat of his fingers, tips lightly pressing underneath the base to pull up against skin, and repeat. Covering his mouth with his other hand (Yuu would always insist that they be quiet, the neighbors might hear…), Mikaela hastily unzipped his jeans, not wanting the vision to fade away just yet before he was even done. As he felt rough denim and the fabric of his boxers slide down his legs, Mika shifted to face the pillow, wrapping his hand around his now uncovered length and quickening his pace.
“Yuu-chan… Yuu-chan…” His fangs were digging into his finger, a droplet of blood oozing from the small puncture. Mika’s breathing was erratic, half moans and half broken sobs.
Both of them knew that as rewarding as the calm after wartime was, in the years of their reunion, Yuu’s mortality was inevitable. The decades had blended in together, and Mika watched Yuu and the rest of their shared “family” age, leaving behind the awkwardness of lanky teenage bodies and into the figures of fit adults, then more so past that. He had noticed the wrinkles forming and the small strands of silver on black before Yuu could even complain to Mika to “not worry so much”. Everyone was surprised at Shinoa for being the first one out of the squad to use a cane, and Yuu had constantly teased Kimizuki in how his glasses were steadily increasing their prescription.
Even before Yuu’s senior years, Mika had always avoided the outside world ever since the military had paid off their living arrangements, never wanting to interact with the passersby as he and Yuu used to walk to the supermarket. Mika’s ears and eyes picked up on the double takes and disapproving murmurs of “What is a vampire doing here… Do the police know… I hear that monster’s with a human, but the military probably just doesn’t want it to go unsupervised…” They were all insignificant, annoying at worse, but Mika couldn’t ignore how the jeers turned from his vampirism to accusations of something else that made his stomach clench in disgust.
“They’re calling you shit I don’t even want to think about – an old pervert who pays for me! How can I just let that go?”
“But they don’t know us, what you and I have been through! Who gives a damn about them!”
Time would keep up with Yuuichirou, but as the now gray-haired man stumbled across the halls, Mika would sometimes catch his reflection in a mirror. He still kept those soft cheeks, the broadness of his shoulders never developing past what he had then, and will always have. He remembered when his hand first tentatively held Yuu’s, of how the blonde’s fingers were longer and his palm slightly wider. Now, as the elder found purchase onto Mika’s arm from tripping, the vampire missed when the most crucial task for Yuu in the morning was to drink two cups of milk to fill in the 3cm gap between their heights.
“Please don’t leave me, Yuu-chan…” Mika enclosed his hands over the last human left in their little makeshift family. Overlooking the old form on the bed, already in his seventies, Mika focused on each breath, each flutter of Yuu’s eyelashes, every absentminded mumble and stir, of how his pulse was getting weaker and weaker. Kneeling down to bring his head to rest on Yuu’s chest, Mika counted each beat with bated apprehension, until there was a deafening silence in the air.
“Please… don’t go… I…” Mika could feel his throat constricting, wet tears forming at the corners of his eyes and soaking into the pillow that he buried his face in. “No… please… please don’t leave me alone…”
Taking his hand away from his mouth, he reached over to the side table, hastily spreading some lotion onto his fingers. He lifted his ass higher into the air, and gasped as he felt the cool of the gel touch his rim. Not caring to be careful, Mika bit his lip as he pushed in two fingers into his unprepared hole. He moaned and savored the small ache of the intrusion, envisioning the pressure behind him to Yuu leaning over his body, chest against Mika’s back, sheen with sweat and excitement. The memories and sensations of their idyllic, sleepless nights washed over Mika, and he whimpered into the pillow as he began to fuck himself with his fingers, his other hand still keeping pace on his cock.
“Ah… ahhh… Yuu-chan… Y-Yuu…”
Mikaela let out a disjointed moan into the pillow, already wet with tears. His fingers hadn’t touched his prostate at all, but the familiar soreness of something inside him, his Yuu-chan penetrating deep and stretching his walls, was more than enough. Repeating Yuu’s name over and over, heat pooled in Mika’s gut, and he knew he was close. He arched his back, stars in his sight and mouth agape-
“Yuu-chan…I-I love you!”
“I love you too…”
Yuu’s voice rang in his head as he spilled into the palm of his hand, a line of drool trailing down his chin and his body giving short spasms until he ached with a stillness. Once over, he fell abruptly back onto the bed, exhausted after climax, and of the anguish from fooling himself yet again. When the afterglow had eventually faded, all that was left was the sound of his own short pants and the wetness of the pillow against his cheek. The pervasive truth had not changed, and Mika’s chest felt tight, voice cracking in grief as he muffled his screams into the bed.
It had been a year since Yuuichirou’s death, and though Mika’s body had not aged a day older since he first drank human blood, his mind left him with the weariness of an old man alone, waiting for the end.