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As Olivia sits in the passenger seat of Elliot’s truck with Noah excitedly chirping away in the back, she’s still not entirely sure how it came to be that she agreed to spend an entire day at the McCann’s. Actually, she does know how it happened, and she has Ginny McCann to blame. It is literally impossible to say no to that woman. And when she had quipped to Elliot over the phone that he had been invited too, she had been joking. Not that he was invited, that part was true, but she already had a list of excuses ready to explain to Ginny why he couldn’t come. If she couldn’t save herself from the torture that was Christmas with the catalog cover family, she figured the least she could do was to spare Elliot. But instead of laughing along with her and offering her his sympathy, Elliot said, “Sure, I’ll come.” What?
She’s not even sure why Ginny would think to invite Elliot in the first place. They met one time! And it’s not like she has given her any indication that Elliot would be a natural extension to an invite that included her and Noah. As a matter of fact, she has gone out of her way not to mention Elliot after his trip to Woodstock because she didn’t want her to get the wrong idea and say something to Noah that would further complicate his feelings about her relationship… situationship… partnership… whatever-the-hell-this-is-ship that she has going on with Elliot.
Things are different than the last time he came home from the McCann’s on the night she ended up huddled against her refrigerator. She’s been trying to let her guard down a little bit and just see where things go. And while she’s terrified at the prospect of what could happen if things go wrong, she also knows that holding him at arm’s length hasn’t been the answer either. So she’s been trying, really trying to calm down and start chipping away at the cement wall she built around her heart. And while she’s been chipping away at that wall with a toothpick, Elliot’s come equipped with a bulldozer. It started with talking on the phone more and sending texts to each other throughout the day. Next, random bouquets of flowers started appearing in her office on a weekly basis. At first, he feigned innocence, but Fin let the cat out of the bag and told her that he was the sender, not that she didn’t know that already. Eventually, she agreed to meet for coffee, which turned into lunchtime walks in the park, then dinners, and she even let him spend some time with Noah. Not that she had a choice in that either. He had made quite an impression on him during that long drive home, and as expected, Noah fell hard and fast for Elliot… she supposes that’s a Benson trait through and through.
Sometimes it makes her feel better to say that she and Elliot are just friends. But when they’re together and he looks at her in that way he does where his eyes sparkle like teeming pools of glass, and that one side of his mouth turns up just so, and his attention is laser focused on her as if she is the only person on the planet… It's then that she knows. She knows because with just a glance from him her heart starts to pound in her chest, and her stomach feels as though she has swallowed a dozen butterflies, and sometimes she forgets how to look at him and take a breath at the same time. She knows when he leans in to kiss her on the cheek and the scent of him wraps around her and it feels like warmth and comfort. She knows they are not just friends, but she doesn’t know how to make them officially more than just friends. They’ve been tiptoeing this line of possibility for so long that it’s hard to find the right time and situation to take the leap. Elliot won’t do it, she knows that. He’s waiting for her. She was the one who said she wasn’t ready, so she’s the one who has to prove to him that she is ready. And she is ready, she knows she is, but the last place she really wants to be while trying to figure it all out is with the McCanns. Ugh.
She glances out the window to the gray sky outside. She is caught up in her musings when she realizes that the car around her is eerily silent. Gone is the pulsing energy of Elliot’s and Noah’s laughter and conversation. She turns her head to see two matching sets of blue staring at her in expectation. She’s assuming that they must have asked her a question, so she smiles, hoping maybe that is enough of an answer.
“Liv?” Elliot asks, his brow furrowed, “Where’d you go just know? You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she shrugs, “Just lost in thought I guess.”
“I can see that. We’re about ten minutes out, I was asking if you were ready for a big ol’ dose of normal?”
Olivia rolls her eyes and reaches over to smack Elliot while deadpanning, “Ha ha.”
As they pull into the McCann’s development, Olivia is once again taken by how perfect it all seems. Home after home covered in twinkling lights and yard decorations. While there’s nothing quite like Christmas in New York City, she can’t help but to appreciate the appeal of suburbia with its perfectly manicured lawns and spread out living space.
“Mom,” Noah shouts excitedly as the car comes to a stop in front of their house, “do you think Mrs. McCann made her special apple pie?”
“One can only hope,” she responds, eyeing Elliot’s grin as she moves to exit the car.
By the time Olivia’s feet hit the pavement, Noah is already halfway up the sidewalk bounding towards Connor, who has already opened the front door. As much as she was hesitant at first, she really is happy seeing the joy radiating off of them, and she is glad for the bond that the brothers have formed in such a short time.
Following closely behind her son, Olivia spies Ginny McCann, who moves like an octopus with arms outstretched and waiving seemingly independently from her body. “Oh, Olivia,” she hollers, “it is just so nice to see you!” Olivia’s response is muffled as the woman wraps her into a hug, nearly suffocating her in her exuberance. Bouncing off Olivia like a pinball, Ginny swallows Elliot in her next hug. “And Elliot is here too. I’m sorry, I know we only met that one time, but I can’t help myself. I’m a hugger. You probably barely even remember me!” she says with a laugh.
“Of course I remember,” Elliot says, his voice laced with sarcasm that only Olivia picks up on, “It’s good to see you again, Mrs. McCann, thank you for inviting us.”
“Oh please, call me Ginny,” she says, slapping Elliot in the arm. “Mrs. McCann is my mother in law!” She erupts with laughter and gestures them inside the house. “Matt! Company is here.”
“Oh God,” Olivia grumbles under her breath so that only Elliot can hear as they catch a glimpse of Matt McCann rushing in from another room. He is wearing a bright red knit sweater with alternating white snowflakes and reindeer on it, and it is identical to the one that his wife is wearing.
“Olivia! Elliot! You made it!” He eagerly reaches out to shake Elliot’s hand, wrapping him in a bro hug in the process.
“Nice to see you, man,” Elliot says, his teeth flashing in an awkward smile. “Matching Christmas sweaters? Fun!”
Matt looks down at his sweater and runs both hands across his chest showing it off. “You like them? Would you believe Ginny knit these herself?”
“Really?” Elliot’s eyes widen even further. “Did you hear that, Liv? Ginny made them.”
“Wow,” is all Olivia can get out, and it’s practically a whisper.
Matt puts an arm around his wife’s shoulders, pulling her in for half a hug, his face beaming with pride. “She’s amazing, am I right?”
Both Olivia and Elliot silently smile and nod their heads.
“What kind of host am I?” Matt admonishes himself, “Here, let me take your coats. The boys are already off playing, why don’t you guys come on in and we can sit down by the fire?”
Olivia glances around as they take a seat on the sofa by the fireplace at the Christmas decorations adorning nearly every surface of the McCann home. There is a squat and bulbous looking live tree in the corner, and Olivia’s breath catches when she notices that all of the ornaments on it are rather similar to the one that she had been gifted last year. “What a lovely tree. The ornaments… are they homemade as well?”
“Why yes!” Ginny rounds the couch, and in her hands is a giant charcuterie board piled high with meats peeled into flowers, assorted nuts, fruits, and cheeses which she places on the table in front of them. “I’ve really been into crafting lately. Matt got me the Cricut that carves wood last year, and I guess you could say I went down a rabbit hole. By the end of the season, I had made ornaments for nearly all of our friends and family!”
“You don’t say…” Elliot winks at Olivia.
“Now that I think of it, I made an ornament for Olivia last year! I do hope you enjoyed it.”
“Yes,” Olivia smiles, “it was so thoughtful of you to think…”
“I remember it,” Elliot interrupts, “I was there when you opened it. What did it say again?” He creases his brow in exaggerated thought, and snaps his fingers, “ ‘Liv , love, laugh,’ right?” He places extra emphasis on Liv, and bumps her ever so slightly with his arm as he shifts in his seat.
Olivia’s eyes are near black, and she’s certain Elliot can feel the heat of her stare as she silently plots his death. “Yes, I believe that’s what it said.”
“You know,” he interjects, “there’s a funny story about that ornament. I liked it so much that I brought it home with me.”
“Really?” Ginny exclaims with glee.
“Yeah. I don’t even keep it with the Christmas decorations. It hangs from an old picture of the two of us that I keep by my bed.”
Olivia gulps so hard she’s afraid she may have swallowed her tongue.
“That’s so funny!” Ginny slaps her hand on her knee as laughter pours from her, “I guess I’ll have to make Olivia another one then. At least she gets to see it when she stays at your place.”
“Oh no, actually…”
“We don’t really…”
Elliot and Olivia speak at the same time, each trying to clarify their relationship but failing miserably.
Ginny’s face is scrunched with worry. “Oh, gosh. I’m sorry. I think that I may have made an assumption. You two are obviously together, at least that’s what I thought…”
“We’re partners.”
“It’s complicated.”
Again they answer in tandem.
In an effort to change the subject, Olivia looks to the charcuterie board, grabbing a green grape and popping it into her mouth. “This looks so pretty, I almost feel bad eating from it,” she raves, covering her mouth with her hand as she chews.
“You know I saw a video on how to make the meat flowers on Instagram, and I thought I’d just have to try it.”
Olivia is spared from having to react by the sudden appearance of Connor and Noah, who come barreling down the stairs.
“Mom,” Noah shouts, “Look outside, it’s SNOWING!”
The adults shift their attention to the window, and see that it’s actually snowing pretty hea vily. Although they have only been here for a short while, there is already a substantial coating of white covering both the lawn and the roads.
“Wow,” Elliot says, rising to his feet to take a closer look, “We’re going to have to keep an eye out there. We may have to leave a little early if it keeps coming down like this.”
“Let me check on the turkey in the oven, and start playing the side dishes. Maybe we can push dinner a little early so you can get ahead of the weather.”
“I’ll help you, Honey,” Mart says, following his wife into the kitchen. “Gee, I didn’t even realize we were expecting a storm today!”
~oOo~
By the time dinner is finished, Olivia is becoming increasingly worried about the snow, which is still falling rapidly. By her estimation, there must be at least six inches on the ground with no end in sight.
“I’m sorry, Olivia, but I really don’t think you should try to drive home in this.” Ginny is pacing with worry.
“I appreciate your concern, but Elliot and I are both capable of driving in extreme weather,” Olivia insists, “It’s not like we get snow days at the NYPD..”
“No, but I’m also pretty sure that you don’t drive your child when the weather gets like this!”
Ginny had a point there.
Suddenly, her face lights up, “I know, you could stay here with us!”
“Oh, we wouldn’t want to burden you…”
“It’s no bother at all! Noah can take the bunk in Connor’s room, and we’ll set you two up in the guest room.”
“I appreciate the offer, but we don’t even have spare clothing with us.”
“That’s not a problem, I’m sure that we can rustle up some pajamas. And I’ll just wash your clothing so that you can wear it again in the morning.”
Olivia can see from the set in Ginny’s jaw that her mind is made up, and there is no way in hell they are getting out of staying the night. She looks at Elliot pensively, but a nod of his head shows that he agrees with her.
Releasing a deep breath, Olivia relents. “Okay then. It looks like we’ll be staying the night.”
As soon as the words leave Olivia’s mouth, both the McCanns and Noah erupt in excited cheers.
Ginny claps her hands together, her smile taking up her entire face. “The boys get to have sleepovers all the time, but we adults never get to join in on the fun. I know, maybe we could play some family board games with all of us! The kids will just love that!”
“That sounds like fun,” Olivia says, hoping that she sounds genuine. “Hey Ginny?”
“Yes?”
“Do you have any wine for the adult sleepover?”
~oOo~
Hours later, and what feels like ten or more board games later, Olivia is surprised to find that game night with the McCann’s is not so bad after all. Although she’s also pretty sure part of that is the Cabernet speaking. While she is not drunk, she’s somewhere on the way to tipsy. Ginny, on the other hand, has turned out to be quite the lightweight. She’s two glasses in, and has suddenly become the life of the party. The boys are all sugared up on the Christmas smoothies Ginny made for them earlier in the night, and Matt and Elliot have turned out to be fast friends.
It’s getting late, and everyone is ready to turn in for the night. The adults make a pitstop at Connor’s room to say goodnight to the boys before heading down to the end of the hall where the spare bedroom is.
“And over here, we have our guest room. It’s on the smaller side, but there is an en-suite restroom for you to use,” Matt says, turning on the light. “Ginny laid out some spare pajamas for you guys on the end of the bed. The bathroom is stocked with toiletries, towels, and anything you might want. If you need help finding anything, our bedroom is down the hall on the left there.”
“Thank you,” Elliot replies, “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
“Okay, goodnight then.”
“Goodnight.”
They are one step into the room when they realize that Matt wasn’t kidding. It’s small. Dollhouse small. And the solitary bed in the room is a full size mattress at best.
“This is… cozy,” Olivia runs her hand across the quilt.
“Liv, it’s fine, I can sleep on the floor.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s fine. Do you want the bathroom first?”
“No, you go ahead.”
Elliot sits down on the bed answering some texts and emails on his phone. When he hears the bathroom door unlatch, he looks up to find Olivia looking like she walked straight out of an L.L. Bean catalog. She is wearing a black and red flannel buffalo plaid pajama set complete with matching socks. The pants are a little on the short side, but otherwise it fits her well. Elliot can’t help but smile at her.
“Don’t you look cute?” he says with a wink.
“Go ahead and laugh, but looking at your pajama pile, it looks like we’re going to be matching.”
Grabbing his loaner clothing, Elliot shakes his head. “I’ll never understand grown adults in matching outfits,” he grumbles as he makes his way into the bathroom.
Olivia removes the decorative pillows from the bed and is turning down the sheets when she hears a clatter and what sounds like an ouch coming from the bathroom.
“El, are you okay in there?”
When she doesn’t get a response, she goes to the door and places her ear against it. She hears shuffling and grunting and she is about to knock on the door when it opens, and she finds herself nearly eye to eye with a red-faced and disgruntled Elliot. Her eyes trail down his body, and she immediately erupts in laughter.
As suspected, Elliot has matching black and red buffalo plaid pants with a black tee on top. But while Matt may be around the same height as Elliot, he is nowhere close to the same width as Elliot. His shirt is pulled so tightly across his body, that Olivia thinks he could tear it open wrestler style just by flexing his muscles. She knows he’s a brick wall because it almost hurts sometimes to hug him, but seeing him in this shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination has Olivia feeling warmth all over her body.
“You look…” she catches her bottom lip in her teeth, “cute… too.”
“Liv, I seriously don’t think I can even breathe in this shirt.”
“So take it off then.” She thought she was speaking at full volume, but instead her words are husky and suggestive.
They stand transfixed as if frozen in time, but there is an energy building between them. A smoldering ember burning so hot that with one spark it will explode. There is an absence of noise in the room save for the sound of their uneven breaths. Olivia can feel her heartbeat in every inch of her body and she is overwhelmed by the scent of him.
Elliot’s hands are fisted at his sides, his knuckles white with tension as he holds onto his control by the smallest of threads. “Liv…” he whispers, his voice sounding pained.
Like a bullet from a gun, Olivia fires. Rising up onto her toes, she closes the distance between them, her lips claiming his with an urgency wrought from over two decades of unresolved tension. Her hands fly to cup his cheeks as Elliot responds, his moan swallowed by her as their mouths open in a tangle of lips and tongues and teeth.
Their arms wrap around each other, both desperate to eliminate any space between them, their bodies flush and pulsing and warm. She gasps as his lips follow the curve of her jaw, down her neck, and to the V of her pajama top, where she’s sure he can feel the pounding of her heart with his tongue. She cradles his head to her chest, her back arching as she feels the evidence of his desire hard against her hip.
Olivia turns them, her hands caressing the sculpted ridges of his chest as she pushes him back, back, back until his knees hit the edge of the bed and he is forced to sit. With one knee on each side of his hips, she straddles him, her heat grinding against his hardness, desperate for friction.
Her mouth returns to his, pulling his bottom lip with her teeth, nipping at him as though to consume him. Her skin erupts in goosebumps as his calloused hands skim beneath her pajama top and run up along her spine. Every nerve ending in her body is on fire, an uncontrolled burning need for him.
Elliot pulls away from her, his chest heaving as he gasps for breath. He rests his forehead against hers, their noses touching as he nuzzles into her. “Liv, I hate myself for what I’m about to say, but we have to stop.”
A strangled cry falls from her lips as she concedes. “I know.” She rests her hands on the back of his neck, looking square into his eyes. “I know… but I want to. I really want to.”
“It’s just not the right time.”
“It’s not the right time for this ,” she rolls her hips against him so he knows exactly what this is, “but El, it is the right time for us. I think… I’ve been wanting to let you know… What I mean to say is that I’m ready. I’m still terrified because I don’t want to lose what we have, but I know that we can be so much more, and I can’t wait to see what a future together could look like. What do you think?”
“I think that the thought of sleeping in the world’s smallest bed with you and trying to behave myself just became a little more difficult.”
Olivia releases a deep breath, and rests her head against Elliot’s, their cheeks nestled completely against one another before she reluctantly extracts herself from his lap. The loss of his warmth is a shock to her system, and she leans her body into him in an effort to maintain as much of a connection as possible.
Feeling her unease, he reaches up and cups her face in his hand, a whisper of reassurance as he folds down the blankets. She settles under the covers, rolling on her side to give him room to snuggle behind her, his arm wrapped around her, hand stretched across her stomach to keep her close. Tucked in the cocoon of him she feels complete in a way that she’s never known before. It is there, wrapped in the warm blanket of his love that she drifts off to sleep.
~oOo~
By morning, the snow has stopped falling, and the rumble and scraping of plows can be heard down the street. Despite her intoxication the night before, Ginny awakens with a flurry of energy, excitement oozing from every pore at the opportunity to make her famous pancakes which took the top prize at the PTA Flapjack Festival last year. They were topped off with maple syrup that they made during a recent family vacation to Canada.
Though nothing was said outwardly, the buzz from the McCanns is that something feels different between Olivia and Elliot this morning. Ginny and Matt were overheard speculating about it in the kitchen, not realizing that Olivia was right outside. And while she wants to shout from the rooftops about their shift to more than friends, she wants to discuss it privately with Noah first.
After breakfast and a morning of sledding and snow angels for the boys, it’s time for Olivia, Elliot, and Noah to head home.
“Thank you so much for having us, and for allowing us to stay the night. I know that was unexpected.”
“Oh, Olivia,” Ginny gushes, “it was such a pleasure. I couldn’t be more excited about how it turned out!”
“Honestly,” Olivia smiles, the tips of her fingers squeezing Elliot’s beside her, “I feel the same way.” She places her other hand on Noah’s shoulder, coaxing him towards the door.
“Oh my goodness, I almost forgot!” Ginny rushes from the hallway into the study and grabs a small, square box wrapped in silver paper. “Merry Christmas,” she says, handing it to Olivia.
“Thank you.”
“You should open it now!” Ginny smiles, her hands clasped in front of her in anticipation.
“Are you sure?” Elliot asks, “It’s still a few days until Christmas.” He adds under his breath where only Olivia can hear, “And usually she waits until May…”
She jabs him with her elbow, “Let’s see what’s inside.” Her fingers slide beneath the tape on the side of the gift, tearing the paper away from the box that looks eerily similar to the one that took residence on her desk for months. She opens the box, then peels a layer of green tissue paper from the top. Her face softens as she sees what’s inside.
“I made it myself. I thought it was perfect for you and Noah… and Elliot.”
Olivia pulls out a new, red, wooden ornament, and holds it up for Noah and Elliot to see, its flowy, cursive font says ‘ Love makes us family.’
Olivia traces the letters with her thumb, smiling as she looks up first to her son, and then to Elliot. “You’re right, Ginny, it is perfect.”