Chapter Text
I’m tired and sore but I feel myself waking up even as I try to resist. It’s too cold to fall back to sleep and for some reason my bed feels hard. I open an eye to see concrete. Where am I? I sit up and rub my eyes noting that I’m in only my oversized shirt and shorts that I typically only wear to bed. How had I gotten here? I hadn’t had anything to drink last night, it wasn’t legal anyways so that was rare. I had probably cried myself to sleep like usual after my mom had died seven months back. So maybe I hadn’t actually fallen asleep in bed but there was absolutely no reason I should be sitting outside in an alley in my fucking pajamas. I tried to recall anything from the night before I’d rewatched some Supergirl while eating my sorry excuse for a dinner of chips and salsa. Then it was all fuzzy so I’d probably fallen asleep on the couch. Maybe the fuzz was caused by going little, I didn’t want to admit it but it was a problem. I’d never known anything about regression but suddenly my mom was gone and there I was finding myself desperately wanting to suck my thumb or be held. It’d taken time to realize that there was a name for what I was feeling. I still refused to tell anyone else. Perhaps though going little and blacking out could be blamed for finding myself waking up in this unfamiliar place without memory of how I got there. I at least had to figure out where the hell I was. I braced myself for the cold knowing I was probably going to have to stand it for a while since who knew when I could get actual clothes on. I stood my head feeling a bit fuzzy with my panic but I pushed it back there was no way I was letting myself be little right now especially if that's what got me into this mess. I grabbed my phone infinitely grateful these sleep shorts had pockets. Unfortunately the thing was dead, just my luck. Without a charger my phone was just a brick I had to carry around. I walked out from my alley and looked around.
I was in a city. A real actual downtown city that was definitely not my shitty on campus apartment. I looked around for anything to indicate where I was hesitant to resort to asking the passersby because they were already eyeing me like I was crazy. Then I saw something that just made my brain freeze. Only a few blocks down a building towered and on the side I read L-Corp. What the actual fuck?
This could not possibly be real. I was sure to be suffering some sort of psychotic break, really it was about time. I’d been spirally mental health wise for a while so I shouldn’t be shocked but this was unnerving. Everything looked so real but it couldn’t be because how would L-corp, a fictional company from a fictional TV show, be right in front of me in the very real city I was standing in? I rubbed my eyes. When I looked again it was still there. This day just kept getting better. Not knowing what else to do I just started walking towards the building. As I did I saw a poster, it was Kara Danvers, no it was Supergirl. This is ridiculous. I stared at it. It was a damn bagel shop and the only words on the poster were “Supergirl approved” Either my delusions weren’t very creative or I had somehow found myself in a Supergirl crazed city possibly in the National city of the Supergirl universe but that was absurd. I walked faster my eyes glued to the L-Corp logo now only a block away.
I made it through the doors of the shiny building and instantly felt how out of place I was. I had on pink sweat shorts, a maroon T-shirt that was at least two sizes too big that read “I’d rather be sleeping” and, as I now realized, the only thing between my bare feet and the ground were a pair of fuzzy blue slippers. Everyone stared at me, they were all in suits or at the very least a dress shirt and black pants. I went to the elevator not even sure of what I was doing. No one stopped me. I went to the top floor, that’s where the CEO would be right? I was heading for Lena, she was my comfort character and if this was real and she was really here maybe she could help me. I got off the Elevator and found myself in a waiting room. A reception desk stood to one side and I nervously went up to it. A dark haired woman I didn’t recognize eyed me. Maybe this was all a big hallucination. She said nothing about my odd attire and I didn’t offer up an explanation.
“Umm I’m here to see Lena Luthor, I think.” I couldn’t help the doubt that laced my tone. She raised one eyebrow.
“Ms. Luthor doesn't do walk-ins, dear.” My heart fell, this was stupid of course she wouldn't see me. I needed to see her though. The receptionist had been as kind as possible but I didn’t think I’d get anywhere with her. I glanced around then I just ran for it.
“Security!” The receptionist yelled. She must have already alerted them because they were on me in less than two seconds, I hadn’t even made it to an office door, not that I even knew which office was Lena’s. Hands were on me, oh god they were pulling me. Was I about to be arrested? I felt my mind fuzz. Shit. This would be such a bad time to slip. Then I was yelling.
“Lena! Please You have to listen get Kara please. I need to talk to you!”
Then there she was. Lena standing in front of me, she was real. She was staring at me. I heard the security apologizing.
“Ms. Luthor our apologies she got this far.”
“Ms Luthor please stand back she may be armed”
I struggled and I knew I was crying. Lena didn’t look scared but I watched her reach for her watch and press the button that I knew signaled supergirl to her distress. Then Kara was there. Holy shit Supergirl very much in the flesh and at Lena’s side and oh my god if this wasn’t so important I might have passed out from being starstruck.
“Lena what's going on?” Kara questioned, she didn’t seem very concerned with me only staring at Lena.
I was desperate. Big hands were trying to clamp themselves over my mouth as one did I bit down hard. He yelped and when my mouth was free for a second I said what I could.
“IjustshowedupherehelpIdon’tknowwhatsgoingonI-” It was all a jumble. I wasn't even sure I made any sense but I needed one of them to hear me. The hands were back on me and it really was not helping my building anxiety as I felt like I was suffocating. I also was teetering so close to dropping into a little headspace. I had never involuntarily dropped before the urge was there and I’d give in in small ways with thumbsucking or rocking myself, if I dropped now I would be out of control. Kara looked at Lena who shrugged she really didn’t seem stressed about me. I guess she shouldn’t be. I was about as intimidating as a fly. I wasn’t tall or muscular and I had on my stupid pajamas, besides that I knew I was crying, my face felt hot and wet. At a nod from Lena the hands released my mouth and just held my arms tightly to my back. It hurt the way they gripped me but atleast I wasn’t suffocating.
“Why’d you come for Lena, kid?” Kara asked, arms crossed. Suddenly I understood why criminals were scared of her. The powers were terrifying sure but her demeanor on screen was mostly goofy golden retriever energy, this was not that. I tried to explain without slipping though I felt it coming more and more strongly.
“I woke up in an alley. I don't know how I got here and then I saw L-corp. I know it’s weird and doesn't make sense but I know you guys, in a way. Kara, I know that Winn was one of the first people you told about being Supergirl. You just fell off of the CatCo roof and gave him a heart attack before flying back up. Who knows that? I know who Reign is or was and I’m not gonna say it because she’s great and has a daughter to raise and I don’t wanna mess with that. Please I know things there's no way I could know, and I just need help.”
I was so close to breaking. Tears were flowing, hell maybe I’d already dropped. I needed to be strong though I could see recognition in their eyes. It wasn’t a lot of information and it wasn’t big and important but it was something. I really hoped it was enough. Why weren’t they saying anything? I just wanted to collapse onto them. They were safe, they were the heroes of one of my favorite shows. I rushed forward not thinking I’d actually go anywhere but the security must have loosened their grip. I slipped free and made it two steps before pain rocketed through me. Someone was teasing me. Lena yelled “Stand down!” I shook. I looked down at myself and saw my shorts were wet. I couldn’t entirely blame the taser, I was feeling so fuzzy. Still, little or not, I couldn’t believe I’d peed myself in front of Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor. I looked up at their semi horrified faces and unable to stop myself burst into sobs.
I’d been crying for a while but now it flowed out of me uncontrollably. I was slipping so far down. I didn’t feel capable of anything. Then arms on me but these were smaller gentler. I was being picked up and I heard Kara saying “woah woah, kid you’re gonna be alright” I couldn’t stop sobbing. I buried my face into the suit no doubt soaking her shoulder in snot. With my cries muffled against Kara’s shoulder I could just hear Lena whisper “What’s wrong with her? Is she hurt?” I felt Kara mouthing something back but I didn’t care. I couldn’t make myself care. I was safe, somewhat. I felt safe in strong Kryptonian arms. I’d rather Lena but she probably couldn’t carry me so this was nice. When it became apparent to both women that nothing they said was really registering beyond the tone they used, Kara just started rocking me. Both she and Lena seemed confused but were instinctively treating me like the baby I seemed to be on the inside. I felt my crying stop and slowly my eyes got heavy. Kara was humming something. I fell asleep in Kara’s arms unaware of the confusion I was leaving behind.