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Nothing could have prepared Dainix for the snow.
Fat, sparkling flakes drifted down. They clung to everything in sight, blanketing the land of Helm in a thick, cotton-like whiteness and sticking stubbornly to Dainix and his friends. White speckled Erin's plum cloak, Alinua's cloud of pink hair, and the long sleeves Tess now wore. Kendal's hair looked lighter because it was so thickly laced with snow, even though it hadn't been falling for long. Falst had his hands jammed in the thick vest Erin had given him, and the fur along his tail fluffed up.
The snowfall kissed Dainix's face with cold. Dainix reached out and watched as snowflakes landed on the dark fabric of his glove, then brought them up to his eye for a closer look. He expected the flakes to be shapeless and blobby, but to his bewilderment, they were... fractals? Tiny, tiny fractals, inexplicably regular and elaborate. And unique, when he examined them closely. All the snowflakes had different patterns, though their overarching structure was always hexagonal.
"Does a storm god craft these?" wondered Dainix aloud.
Erin, who'd already started down the path to the city, stopped short and turned back, his expression brightening. "Ah, that's right! You've never seen snow before, have you? I suppose Ravan isn't exactly the climate for it."
"It's not," confirmed Dainix, "and I haven't." He knelt and scooped up a handful of snow. Wow, the flakes really were all like this: hexagonally symmetrical, intricately patterned. Some of them were simpler in structure, and some of them clumped. His fingertips felt numb and his glove slightly damp, but he barely noticed. "Why are the flakes so intricate?" he wondered. "A god wouldn't bother crafting every single one, would they?"
"Correct!" Erin launched into one of his lengthy explanations about the wonders of magic and science. Apparently, minor weather gods could stir the currents and the water vapor that went into the snow, but they didn't purposefully craft the snowflakes. No, the delicate fractals were a natural consequence of the way water particles arranged themselves upon freezing, particularly when airborne. There was no intent or deliberation behind the wondrous patterns. They just happened.
Dainix thought that was fascinating and lovely. He might have said as much, but he couldn't get a word in edgewise.
"--though of course, it is possible to coax specific patterns out through more magical means! Aseran scholars have done an interesting study on--"
Erin continued in this vein for quite some time as they traipsed onward, until eventually, the demands of the hike made talking too difficult for him. He huffed and puffed, his breath forming wispy little clouds of condensation.
To get to the soul-shaper monks, they needed to make their way up a cliffside--an icy, boulder-ridden path with steep slopes. It was a long way up, and the footing was treacherous in a way Dainix wasn't used to. He'd dealt with uneven ground, crumbling paths, and the softness and malleability of sand. But this was different. Slick ice gleamed in patches where the snow hadn't covered it. Dainix stepped cautiously around Erin, keeping a hand on the cliff face when possible. Even the stretches of snow-packed ground felt like they had less traction than dirt. And while the first few snow drifts were fun to wade through--so crunchy and powdery, and oh, how they sparkled--they started to wear on him.
Tess stayed at Erin's side, teasing and encouraging him in turn. Falst traipsed in front of Dainix, his ears low, and grumbled now and then about the cold, shaking out his feet every few steps. (Falst had refused shoes, even out here.) For a moment, Dainix considered offering Falst his cloak. But even with a shirt and vest on underneath it--borrowed at Erin's behest--Dainix himself felt the chill numbing his fingertips and creeping into his bones. (A flicker of fire tried to rise from his core. Dainix mentally snuffed it out. No. Not again.) Behind Dainix, Kendal and Alinua brought up the rear. Alinua was barely faring better than Erin. Kendal, in contrast, was surefooted and utterly unperturbed. He held Alinua's hand and gently led her along.
The snowfall thickened. The chill breeze turned into a biting wind. Falst's grumbles gave way to silence and the howling of the storm. The snow impeded visibility; Dainix could just barely see Erin and Tess forging on ahead, if he squinted. Erin, whose soul channels were still recovering from the ravages of that fiasco with Tarren's ship, could do nothing to ward off the weather.
Dainix's wonderment at the snow died away. He yearned for the scorching, invigorating sun of Ravan. He yearned for hot, spicy meals and flickering bonfires. No wonder hardly anyone lived on Helm. This was exhausting. Frigid. Awful.
As they rounded a bend, Dainix's foot slipped. His heart jumped up his throat as he started to fall.
A small hand snatched his wrist, gripping hard. Another, larger hand caught his back. Together, Falst and Kendal steadied him. Falst's eyes were wide and round as coins, and his pupils gleamed white. Dainix couldn't tell if it was just a reflection of the snow, or--
"We need shelter!" Falst's voice rose above the storm's howl, loud and tense. "We've gotta wait this one out!"
Erin protested, "But we're so close! The monastery is just at the top of this cliff! And there's no space for a tent out here, so I don't know where--"
"I agree with Falst," called Dainix.
Alinua chimed in. "So do I!"
"This isn't like with Rakhn," Tess reminded Erin. "This one'll actually mellow out if we wait. We should rest and get warm."
"I--but--oh, fine!"
"Falst," Kendal called, "do you see any caves or overhangs up ahead?"
"One sec!" Falst let go of Dainix's hand, squeezed past Tess and Erin, and scrambled up the path. After an agonizingly long minute, he returned. "Yeah! There's a cave we can duck into! Sorta small, but it'll work."
"Great," said Kendal. "Let's take a breather there."
Dainix huddled on the stony floor and wrapped his cloak tightly around himself.
They were all crammed into a cave just barely large enough to fit the six of them plus a campfire. Erin procured firewood from his magical bag, and Falst, after glancing sideways at Dainix, pulled out a fire starter and flicked sparks onto the wood. The sparks caught. Newborn embers bloomed into a crackling blaze. Dancing flames suffused the cavern with an orange glow, and the frigid air started to warm. Most of the others breathed a sigh of relief. Kendal smiled fondly as Alinua curled up against him with a sigh, and Erin, Tess, and Falst all leaned toward the flames, snow melting off their shoulders.
Dainix fumbled with his vambraces, discarded them, and plunged his hands into the flames.
Thank Jiya.
Feeling seeped back into his fingers: prickles of pain, then tingles of warmth. Dainix flexed his hands a few times, then yanked off his boots and stuck his feet in the flames, too. The fire leeched away the numbness. Most of him was still cold, though. A shiver ran down his spine, and he inched closer, rolling up his pants and sleeves so he could plunge his limbs deeper in. Bits of wood and char poked the soles of his feet, but he barely felt it and certainly wasn't bothered by it.
"Your ability to do that without burning to death fascinates me," said Erin frankly. "And unnerves me slightly."
Dainix shrugged. "Most ignans have a high heat tolerance."
"He's right," said Tess, grinning. "Their smiths handle smelted metal with their bare hands! I got to see this one gal--" She launched into an anecdote that sounded like a typical day for a smithy in Dainix's home settlement, and it gave him a pang of homesickness. With a quiet sigh, he refocused on the flames and let his mind drift away from Tess's words.
Dainix could feel the soulfire in him waking up, wanting to rise to the surface and blaze where this pitiful little campfire couldn't reach. Again, Dainix mentally clamped down on it, forcing it back and locking it down in the depths of his core. He had learned some tricks en route to manage his soulfire slightly better. But it was still difficult to control, best reserved for crises and battles, and he still harbored a deep resentment toward it. He hated how it had endangered his friends. He hated himself for letting that happen. He hated how the soulfire had driven him to this frozen nightmare of a landscape, just to fix that failure--to figure out how to do better. Until he could use it properly, he was going to keep it locked down.
Even if it meant suffering through the cold.
Dainix grimaced. His hands and feet were toasty, but his back was still chilly, despite the protective warmth of both a vest and his wyrmsilk cloak. His ears felt cold, too.
Fabric brushed over his head, and the weight of a spare cloak settled on his shoulders.
"Thought you could use that," said Falst gruffly. "You're not used to this kind of weather."
"Thanks." Dainix retracted his hands from the flames so he could draw the cloak more tightly around himself. After a moment's hesitation, he retracted his feet, too, crossing his legs and pressing his toasted toes up against his thighs. He probably looked like some weird turtle, but it felt good. Dainix offered Falst a smile, small but genuine.
Falst flushed and stared determinedly at the flames. "No problem."
Dainix eyed Falst's bare feet. The toes were purpler than they should be. "Maybe you should stick your toes in the fire."
That drew a wry smile out of Falst. "Too bad I'm not fireproof like you are."
Dainix hummed his agreement. "It does come in handy. The warmth doesn't quite reach the rest of me, though, so I appreciate the extra cloak."
Falst's expression softened. "Glad it helped."
Across from him, Tess launched into another travel story, complete with enthusiastic hand gestures and... something about a sand dragon? Yeah, a sand dragon. Erin listened with visible exasperation, while Alinua seemed enthralled by the tale. Kendal observed with quiet interest, but for a heartbeat, he spared Dainix and Falst a soft smile.
Dainix smiled back, then returned his attention to Falst. Falst was curled in on himself, as close to the campfire as a non-ignan could safely get, and Dainix had some concerns about the lingering purple in his toes. That couldn't be healthy, could it?
After several seconds' deliberation, Dainix unfurled his arm and opened up the side of his makeshift cloak cocoon. "Want to share this? It'd be warmer. Tactical strategy for warding off the chills."
Falst stared, then turned a brilliant shade of red. "I, uh. I'm fine! I've dealt with worse."
Oh, he's too cute. But also too cold.
"You'd be warming me up too," Dainix coaxed. "I know you've toughed out all kinds of weather, but I've never dealt with this, remember?" He held the cloak open wider. "It's okay if you don't want to, but I'd greatly appreciate it."
"Uh. Okay. Sure." Falst scooted closer, slow and hesitant, like he thought Dainix might change his mind and kick him away at the last second.
Once Falst was within reach, Dainix looped his arm around Falst's shoulders and drew him into a snuggle, enveloping him in their new, two-person cocoon. Falst went rigid for one breath... two breaths... until, finally, he relaxed and leaned into Dainix's shoulder. Dainix's heart fluttered with happiness, and he rested his chin on Falst's head. Falst's hair was still slightly damp from snow-melt, and a subtle shiver ran through Falst's body. But the longer Dainix held him, the more he could feel the warmth emanating from him. Falst leaned more heavily against him, and Dainix gave him a gentle, affectionate squeeze.
"You're colder than I expected," murmured Falst. He reached up and gripped Dainix's hand. "I thought your soulfire would make you feel warmer than normal or something, but you're not."
"I'm trying to keep my soulfire on as tight a leash as possible, given everything that happened," said Dainix grimly. "I'm not endangering you again."
"Oh." Falst paused. "Y'know, even when you're a blazing inferno eating everything in your path, your instinct seems to be not to attack us. You focus on whatever's threatening us, when you can focus at all."
"I ate the ship and nearly ate Kendal's sword! I--"
Kendal cut in. "Dainix, we talked about this. You were under extreme stress and influenced by void. That wasn't your fault."
"But it was! That was still me, making things worse!"
Tess had stopped her storytelling. Everyone's attention was on Dainix, now, expressions ranging from surprised to concerned. Kendal gazed upon him steadily, a determined frown creasing his brow.
Dainix took a deep, bracing breath and continued. "I hope I'll handle my fire better once I've read the treatise. But for now, I don't trust myself. I still think you shouldn't, either, from a strategic point of view." Dainix had to make himself say it. It hurt because of how true it was.
Falst rebutted him immediately. "Too fucking bad, we do."
Those words nearly cracked Dainix open.
"You're our friend," added Kendal firmly. "And Falst is right. Even when you're in Crucible form, driven by instinct and emotion, you're not driven to hurt us."
Erin said wryly, "Might I remind you that I'm the one with a malignant passenger who wants to devour the world? And that despite it being my plan that went disastrously awry, and the fact that my magical abilities are horribly compromised right now as a consequence, you have chosen to still travel with me, of all people? At least your powers aren't a malicious entity bent on destroying us all! In fact, it seems like you're primarily driven by a desire to protect!"
Alinua chimed in, her tone laced with compassion. "Like I said before, Dainix, I've been where you are. It's okay. You're figuring your powers out like I had to, and you will figure them out."
Tess added, "They're a part of you. And yeah, they're powerful, and wild, and messy. But they're not bad, you know? You're a good guy who cares a lot, and I'm pretty sure that caring is what fuels the flame the most." She grinned. "Real protective of that other, littler guy you've got in that cloak cocoon of yours."
Falst growled a near inaudible "fuck you" and hid his face in Dainix's chest.
That did it. Dainix swallowed the lump in his throat, blinked furiously, and whispered an unsteady, "Thanks." He held Falst as tenderly as he could, and when Kendal rested a hand on Dainix's shoulder, Dainix leaned toward him. Dainix's friends were warm. So, so warm. So good, and kind, and caring. He wished more than anything to return that warmth and compassion. As Kendal shifted closer and wrapped his arm more fully around Dainix, Dainix rested his head on Kendal's shoulder and brought Falst fully into his lap, cradling him within the shelter of their cocoon. He willed them all warm.
Dainix didn't feel the cold anymore.
He also forgot to keep a leash on his soulfire. It leaked forth, unbidden, before Dainix realized what was happening.
No cracks appeared on Dainix's skin this time. He didn't crumble. He didn't burst into flame. He didn't notice at first because it didn't feel bad. It didn't feel like he was losing control, or like he was angry or afraid or hurting or overwhelmed. But all of a sudden, Falst murmured in surprise and poked his head up out of the cocoon. "Hey," he said, "you're, uh. You're glowing. And warm."
Dainix stared in bewilderment, first at Falst, then at the orange markings glowing on his own skin. After a moment's introspection, Dainix realized he could feel the soulfire flowing through him. He mentally balked. His markings flickered. "Sorry, I didn't realize--I'll stop it, I--"
"It feels good." Falst practically glued himself to Dainix and rested his head in the crook of Dainix's neck. "Keep doing it."
"I can kind of feel it," added Kendal. "It's just warm. Not very intense."
"I..." Dainix took a deep breath and reassessed the soulfire. It felt slow and gentle, steadier than usual. Not coursing, not raging, not consuming. Just there. Less there than it had been a moment ago, but still there. "Alright," he acquiesced. "It doesn't feel dangerous right now, so I'll try." Dainix refocused on the feeling he'd had before--his love for his friends, his desire to keep them warm. The flow of soulfire strengthened, and his markings glowed bright again.
Falst murmured his approval and closed his eyes.
Kendal let Alinua lean across him, and she tentatively touched Dainix's cheek. "Oh," she said softly, "that does feel nice."
Dainix stretched his arm beyond the cocoon and offered his hand. Alinua accepted it and clasped it in both her own, holding it while she snuggled up against Kendal's far side.
With no hesitance or warning whatsoever, Tess plonked down next to Dainix, dragging Erin along with her, and flopped against Dainix with all her body weight. The unexpected collision knocked a puff of breath out of him. "You're a literal living furnace," she said decisively. "Great. Amazing. Best heat source ever. Erin, you've gotta feel this."
Erin reluctantly let Tess drag his hand over to Dainix's cocoon--to around Dainix's bicep, roughly. "Ah," he said. "Yes. Very nice. I'd like my arm back now, please."
"Eh, you don't need it."
"Tess," said Erin reprovingly.
"Fiiine." Tess released him, and Erin withdrew his hand. However, he did stay beside Tess, nestled up against her with a cloak draped over his shoulders.
There they all stayed, snuggled up with Dainix and sheltered from the blizzard outside. Dainix's soulfire kept burning, even as the campfire died down. And for the first time that Dainix could remember, his powers were driven by joy.