Chapter Text
Max stares at Chloe’s latest crosstalk post, reading it over again. She knows she should close it out and focus on something else, but she can’t tear her eyes away from it.
back in NYC for the first time in years and it feels...right. had no idea i was missing this city til now.
Max tries to ignore the twist of the knife, but it’s hard not to think about how the last time Chloe was in New York City, it was with her for her first major gallery show. That’d been, what? Only a few months before it all fell apart? Max sighs, there’s no good in ruminating over it now.
She glances at the bottle of wine on her kitchen counter, an early Christmas gift from Safi. On second thought, maybe it was pathetic to stay here over winter break. But where else was she supposed to go? She can’t head back to Seattle—while Max knows her parents mean well, she’d rather not have to deal with their barely concealed pitying looks and never-ending questions that all somehow circled back to Arcadia Bay. Merely stepping foot into their house brought back more memories than Max cared to admit. It wasn’t like she had any other friends outside of Lakeport either. She lost touch with her Seattle friends over the years and, for so long, Chloe was all she had and, well...she was gone now too.
Nowhere felt like home anymore—nowhere had felt like home since she and Chloe went their separate ways.
Sighing, Max grabs a mug from the cabinet and opts for a hot chocolate instead. She sips it slowly as she heads to the living to turn on a movie. It works for a little while and Black Christmas provides the perfect distraction from her racing thoughts. At least, that is, until she remembers it was Chloe who introduced her to this movie their first Christmas after the storm; it’s hard to believe it’s been almost exactly a decade since then.
Max reaches for her phone before she can think better of it. She knows she shouldn’t, but she opens Chloe’s contact anyway. Her hands shake—God, why is she shaking?—as she drafts a message.
Hey, sorry that this is so out of the blue, but I heard you’re in NY. Would you be interested in meeting up? I’m staying on campus over break and have nothing but free time right now. No pressure, of course. It’s just been so long and I’d love to catch up.
She backspaces and retypes it over and over again, ending up with several versions of the same message. Each one sounds as desperate as the last and she’s half-tempted to call Safi for advice, though that would open up a whole list of questions she’d prefer not to answer.
Her finger hovers over the send button as she considers the ways in which this could end. Worst case? Chloe leaves her on read, blocks her, or just flat-out rejects her. And, sure, that would hurt, but it’s nothing she hasn’t dealt with before. Best case though? Max thinks it over for a moment and realizes she really doesn’t know what the best case would be. Obviously, it would involve Chloe agreeing to meet, but beyond that, Max has no clue. Maybe they stay in touch, rekindle their friendship—or, maybe, that’s just wishful thinking and this whole fucking thing is a mistake waiting to happen.
In a move so bold it would make Safi proud, Max hits send. Then she quickly swipes out of her messages and pockets her phone. It buzzes at some point and she ignores it in favor of focusing on the movie. When she finally checks her phone, long after the movie has ended, her heart races as she unlocks her phone. Only once she sees Chloe’s name in her notifications does the reality of her actions sink in.
Chloe: oh wow, it’s been a while hasn’t it
Chloe: shit max. idk what u want me to say
Chloe: i guess that’d be nice, but like
Chloe: fuck idk. can we call about this?
Max hesitates for a moment, weighing her options. She supposes she could wait and just leave this as a problem for the morning. But...that’s not exactly the best look, nor would it be fair to Chloe.
Max: Yeah sure. I’m free now if you’re up for it
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did she say that? She’s absolutely not up for it.
Chloe’s contact picture appears on her screen a minute or so later—a candid she took years ago, back when Chloe’s hair was still short and electric blue—and Max stares at the answer button for far longer than she should. In what world was this possibly a good idea?
Max’s heart nearly pounds out of her chest as Chloe’s voice flows through the speakers.
“Hey, I was beginning to wonder when you were gonna pick up,” Chloe says, lauging, though it doesn’t really feel like a joke. Years of missed calls and messages flash through Max’s mind as decade-old guilt attempts to resurface.
“Hey, Chloe.” Max takes a breath and tries to steel herself. “S-sorry about that. Iris decided she wanted attention and knocked my phone out of my hand.” It’s a lame excuse; Max knows it’s a lame excuse and Chloe can probably see right through it. Hell, even Iris looks up from her cushion and casts what Max can only describe as a judgmental look. This just might be a new low, Max thinks.
“Iris? ”
“Oh, she’s a stray cat I took in.” Max pauses. “I found her scratching at my door almost two weeks ago and I couldn’t leave her out in this cold.”
Chloe laughs again, genuine this time. “ Now, that’s the Max I remember. ”
Max freezes, unable to explain the way her chest aches at those words. She wonders what Chloe is going to think of her, once she sees how much Max has changed in their years apart.
“Anyway,” Max starts, wanting to change the subject, “what have you been up to lately?”
Chloe tells Max the details of her New York trip, about where she’s been in the city and what she has planned in the days to come. Max stands and starts tidying up the living room, offering the occasional sound of acknowledgment. Then Chloe asks Max about Caledon and it’s nice. Before long, Max heads upstairs and sits down at her desk.
“I could take the train,” Max says, pulling up information for routes to NYC. “I’m sure Safi would drive me to the station. Or...” Max pauses and debates if she should even suggest it. Her words come out rushed and she regrets them almost immediately. “Or you could come up here? I mean, if you’re not too busy, obviously. Caledon has a gorgeous campus, especially with all the snow right now, and I’d love to show you around.”
“That sounds...nice, actually .” Chloe audibly sighs on the other side of the line and Max hears some indistinct chatter in the background. “ Look, I have to go, but I’ll text you tomorrow and we can figure out something then, okay? I mean it, Max, it really would be good to see you again. ”
“Yeah, talk to you tomorrow.” Max smiles, sitting back in her chair. “Goodnight, Chloe.”
“Night, Max .”
Once Chloe hangs up, Max starts getting ready for bed. Anxiety and hope swirl in her chest as she settles under her covers. For what might be the first time since she’s come to Caledon, she dreams of green hair and strong, gentle hands, of laughter and late nights spent tangled up in one another. The memories feel so distant, yet comforting, in their own bittersweet way, and, though she refuses to admit it so plainly, part of her longs to share moments like those once more.