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When Hachi first showed up with an onyx black fluffy monstrosity in her arms, Nana felt a tangible, ardent fear flutter in her heart, like a premonition to warn her of the impending future.
“I found her by the side of the road.” was all the explanation Nana got.
Even as she said it, the hopelessness of her situation did not escape her. “I'll… look for animal shelters nearby, uh-”
“No!” Hachi gave Nana her best pleading eyes and tightened her grip on the ugly creature. “We have to keep her! We simply have to. She's all alone.”
“We can't just keep it!” Nana was fighting a losing battle, war, life - everything. Curse Hachi.
“Why not?” Hachi threaded her fingers through its fur coat and dared Nana to make her -
“We'll have to buy food,” Nana started counting on her fingers, “Vet visits, cat toys, bathe it, clean up, spend time with it, get it spayed or neu - is it a male or a female?”
Hachi's puffed. “She's my girl.”
Nana folded her arms. “That doesn't answer my question.”
“She's my girl.” Hachi stubbornly repeated. “And I can manage all of that! I'm not - I'm not some child!”
Nana pursed her lips. “You also live with me,” she reminded Hachi instead of disputing her statement,”What if I don't approve -”
“Will you stop me from keeping her, Nana?” Hachi’s face was on the verge of tears. The amount of empathy Hachi felt for the cat should be illegal.
Nana was doomed. She couldn't say ‘no’ now; it would kill her to see Hachi heartbroken - she already experienced that from other people enough.
But Nana didn't want the responsibility of a goddamned pet either, Nana didn't want -
“Nana?” Hachi whispered, cutting through her train of thoughts.
Nana raised her chin a little. “Okay, fine. Whatever. Keep her.” she callously waved an arm in the air.”I'm not spending a quarter of a second of my life on it, though.”
Hachi gave her one of her most genuine smiles. Something about being on the receiving end of them always made Nana’s chest flutter, revitalized.“Thank you, Nana.”
Before she went to bed, Hachi gave her a light peck on the cheek.
Nana tried not to pay attention to the aforementioned fluttering feeling in her chest and instead chose to focus on the mangy cat who was trying to win a staring contest with her.
It hissed and lept slightly at Nana, making her involuntarily blink. Then it proceeded to grumble and smugly follow after Hachi with a straightened neck and soft purring.
Nana began to hate the cat on the spot.
—
“Good morning, Nana.”
How anyone could sound so cheerful at such an early hour, Nana didn't know. Personally, she liked to spend at least the first half of her day grouching, and the second half slumping off. Whoever invented the alarm clock had earned a huge middle finger in her books.
How did Hachi even see her stroll in the kitchen from this angle? Nana could barely walk, let alone expect her cognitive features to work properly.
She came to a pause and started to gape as she realised Hachi’s legs were folded as she sat on the floor, back to Nana. She couldn't possibly have been talking to her. Hachi’s gaze was on the cat, a hand ruffling the fur under its chin.
“Nana?” she demanded, the same sinking feeling in her gut rebounding.
“I decided to name her Nana,” Hachi cheerfully bubbled. “It’s so cute that she and I share a name, right?”
“I - I - it's also my name!” Nana indigigently sputtered. “You can't just name her that.”
Hachi looked downcast with sad eyes and a frown heaving her shoulders.
“I was sure you wouldn't mind,” she said mournfully, “But if you do, it’s okay, I'll change it.”
One glance at her sinking posture and Nana lost all fire. She knew Hachi wasn't trying to offend her; it wasn't her fault they had the same name. If anything, Hachi cared about her enough to change it upon the slightest implication of her being offended, which was…
Touching.
“Nevermind,” she snipped. “Keep the name. I'm packing some cucumbers for lunch.”
Nana brightened up like the rising sun. “I literally love you Nana oh-my-god you're the absolute best.”
Nana rolled her eyes. “You can just ask me to pack lunch for you too.”
Hachi giggled. The cat - she refused to call it Nana - unsheathed its claws, seemingly angled towards Nana.
“I wouldn't mind if you did that.”
At that very moment, the cat snared Hachi in its paws (nails noticeably retracted) and distracted her by its antics. She started cooing as she snuggled the loser closer.
Nana couldn't loosen her grip on the knife if she tried.
—
The door was knocked upon seven times before Nana got on her ass and opened it, throwing a condescending glance to the godforsaken creation by her path on the journey.
The employee on the other end was chewing gum as she lazily scrolled her phone.
“The parcel is on the name ‘Nana’.” she drawled, clearly bored out of her mind.
“That'll be me,” Nana grumbled. As soon as her signature was done, she was back on her cosy bed where she planned to doze the rest of the year off.
Or at least, she could have liked to, if not for her continuous mewling from her companion that she swore was intentional.
Nana shooed the cat away gruffly, burying herself impossibly deeper in Hachi’s bed. It smelled faintly of lilies, exactly like the perfume Hachi liked to wear.
Nana swore she wasn't being creepy or obsessive at all.
She ripped open the brown covering in one shrewd motion and rolled her eyes.
“Of course it's for you.” the cat not-so-innocently sneaked closer to her again. It was a toy or something like that, she guessed. She didn't know and didn't give a fuck enough to find out or confirm.
Nana tossed the package on the ground, as far away from herself as safely possible.
“Go and… play with it or something. Leave me alone.” she shut her eyes tightly as she heard the foot - paw? - steps fade away.
A few comfortable hours later, she woke to the sound of a sharp scream from Nana. The other Nana. The not-cat Nana.
Heavens above, her brain was really being fucked with.
She forced her limbs to drag themselves to the source of the sound and ran a hand through her mussed hair. “Everytime okay, Hachi?” she asked with an involuntary yawn.
“I’m… I'm so sorry, Nana. I don't even know how to apologise.”
Nana blinked.
“Hachi?” she rubbed her eyes.
“I -” now Nana could make out Hachi standing in her room with a tear running down her face; arms wrapped around that yarn of black fur again. “I'll replace it, I'll -”
It took Nana a few more seconds to notice her ravaged guitar, and a few more after that to really let the consequences of her reality register.
When you're a musician, your instrument becomes your friend; it becomes a piece of you. You familiarise yourself with every aspect of it and know its flaws like you know the whorls of your fingertips. It becomes a constant companion - sometimes you cry looking at it, sometimes you laugh; but you always practise. Another one of its very same model couldn't replace the one you had because it was yours. It's not about its features or fanciness, it's about that little scratch you know it has under that corner and the fact that the string from the first string sticks out because you were short on time when you replaced it.
That's the reason Nana feels her heart crack through her ribcage.
“Get out.” she snarled. She had more vitriol than she's ever directed at Hachi.
“Nan-”
“I said,” her voice rose almost an octave, a skill she'd acquired from all that singing. “Get out. This instant.”
When Hachi didn't move, Nana laughed cruelly. “I knew you couldn't take care of it. Now look at what you've done!”
Hachi'shi’s lower lip quivered, but she did not speak anymore. Her breathing sharpened. Nana was left to continue.
“I wish I'd never met you. You've only ever been a burden to me. I hate you, Hachi.”
But her voice isn't angry. She was heartbroken, yes. She was hurt, also yes. She was devastated - that she did not deny. But she didn’t want to be the one to inflict that kind of pain on Hachi in return, when Nana was well aware of her ever kind-hearted intentions. Hachi made a mistake. Nana lost control of herself. She hated herself for the words that escaped through her mouth, too.
Nana snuffled and studied the once shiny and smooth body of her guitar, now smothered with scratches. The broken strings stuck out at odd angles; a few tuning nuts looked cracked. She felt every moment she spent with that instrument dripping from her memories like water from the fissures of pipes.
“Leave me alone,” Nana mumbled in defeat.
Her world collapsed around her.
—
It was frigid in their house after that, to say the least. Nana was living with a stranger now; there were no more bright ‘good morning’s and ‘good night’s, no more sharing wardrobes and arguing over chores, no more listening to music on the same earphone at 3 am and no more drunk conversations in each other's rooms that didn't talk about come the next day. Even Hachi’s cat seemed to avoid Nana now. Nana would've expected to lash out at her, but it acted almost… sorry.
It wasn't until Nana heard a loud crash and a short scream outside that she and Hachi came face-to-face again. The universe seemed to gatekeep all irony specifically for Nana.
At first, she'd been stuck in place from the overwhelming déjà vú. Then, she'd simply hurried on her feet out of instinct. She hadn't anticipated seeing Hachi with her weight to her right side, propped up by an arm that was blossoming red with bruises; a large, taped cardboard box draped over her.
“Hachi!?” was Nana’s first - extremely stupid - reaction.
“I'm okay! Just tripped,” she announced, imminently wincing. “Um… a little help here?”
Mechanically, Nana lifted the package, the weight familiar on her body. “I'll… get you the first-aid kit?” she hesitated. After weeks of prolonged eye-contact and avoiding every possible conversation, she didn't know how to conduct herself normally around Hachi.
“Don't worry about it, I'm okay.” Hachi chuckled briefly, using her good arm to slowly get up.
“You should really give it medic-”
“That's for you,” Hachi hastily pointed towards the parcel enclosed in Nana's arms.
Nana immediately realised why the mass had felt ‘familiar’.
Horror creeped up her voice. “Hachi, if it's what I'm thinking it is, it must be fucking expensive.”
Hachi shifted uneasily on her feet and kept her line of sight locked downwards. “I sold some old clothes. It wasn't a big deal, I didn't even wear most of them anymore.”
Nana noted how she didn't explicitly state disliking them. But she couldn't coddle Hachi. As much as she wanted to absolve Hachi of all blame, the cat was still her responsibility; not locking her door when there's a pet in the house was Nana’s, so instead she honestly answered,”I appreciate it, Hachi. More than you'll ever know.”
Hachi gave her a brilliant, sunny smile - for the first time in weeks. Nana felt a funny feeling in her gut encroaching on her. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed them until she had it back.
“I don't hate you.” she quietly added. “I'm sorry I ever said that.”
“Meow,” a curly enunciation interrupted them at that very second.
“Awww, here you are, Nana! Did you miss me?” Hachi bent down to fluff up the cat's head. Nana found Nana the Cat very tolerable when it wasn't practising archnemesis with her.
“Um,” Nana sheepishly said,”I kind of got the strings of my old guitar replaced. The cuts weren't that deep, I decided they just added a bit of… personality?
“So. Now we have two of the same fully functioning instruments.” she meekly finished.
Hachi, ever the optimist, glowed at that. “You can teach me on one of them.”
Like she'd suddenly remembered their ‘fight’, she further guiltily said,”If you want, that is.”
“I'd love that but,” Hachi stiffened at the possibility of rejection,“Maybe come inside first, Hachi?”
—
“Nana,” Hachi's hair softly illuminated in the dark by the lamp beside Nana’s bed,”I can't find her.”
“Who?” she drowsily asked.
“Nana,”tears welled Hachi’s eyes, “My cat.”
Nana tried to get up, and blushed when she became aware of Hachi straddling her in their current position.
“She's probably around here somewhere,” Nana reasoned.
Hachi shook her head. “There's a storm outside. I've checked everywhere. What if she left because she hates living with me?”
Despite all the negative feelings she held towards the cat, Nana sleepily assured, confident in what she was about to say, “She wouldn't do it. She loves you as much as you love her.”
Hachi's fingers curled around Nana’s bedsheet.
“I'll help you look for her,” Nana told her, “If you'd, just, uh…”
“Oh!” Hachi swiftly jumped onto her feet and straightened herself, dusting non-existent dirt on her lilac skirt.
Nana swung her legs off the bed and hoped Hachi couldn't see how flushed she was. She tucked her phone into the inner pocket of the jacket she slipped on, and stalked ahead.
“You go to the street behind, I'll check the area ahead. We'll find her.”
The gloomy clouds overhead relentlessly poured down. Nana occasionally yelled out the cat's name, but couldn't spot her. Water had begun to pool around her feet, and her clothes were soaked through. Her recently done hair dripped down her cheeks. She was glad she had removed her make-up before going to sleep, or her face would've terrified Hachi. And Nana.
She didn't want to admit it, but her quick strides and increasingly frequent shouts were formed by worry for the very cat she claimed to hate. If she didn't find her tonight, then she didn't know how she'd move on tomorrow.
The house would be empty without her.
Finally, when thunder had begun to crackle, she found the wretched creature drenched and seeking shelter under a blue shed that was in a sorry state. Water leaked through its crevices, dripping in a steady pattern.
“Here you are,” she muttered, spreading her arms to pick her up. Just because the panic had seeped out of her, didn't mean she had to act nicer.
Surprisingly, instead of hissing or trying threatening her with claws, the cat curled in on itself and snuggled closer to Nana. She was shivering. Nana slightly squeezed her.
“Let's get you home.”
—
“Hachi? Yeah, I found her. She's okay. Don't worry about it. Come back safely. Love you too.”
Nana hung up on the line. She and her cat had dried off and warmed up, and Hachi still hadn't showed up. Nana was almost inclined to get Hachi home herself, but she didn't have her location. Besides, the pitter-patter of rain was still steady.
After making sure all the windows were locked (and the door fastened with the key), Nana slumped back onto her bed.
Almost inaudible footsteps trailed behind her. When she closed her eyes, she felt something fluffy cover her stomach, two paws laid lightly over her.
Before she fell asleep, a smile overtook her features.
—
“Delete that!” Nana spluttered.
“You're both so impossibly cute,” Hachi sighed dreamily.
Nana scoffed, lunging after Hachi’s phone, where she held up the incriminating evidence of Nana and the cat cosily hugging as they snuggly napped.
Hachi raised her hand higher. “I'm keeping this forever.”
The cat nestled close to Hachi’s legs, growling.
“Are you threatening me?” Nana smirked,”Give it to me. See, even the cat agrees with me.”
Hachi clapped her hands. “You're bonding along so quickly! I'm proud of you both.”
“We still hate each other!” Nana defended. The cat purred in agreement.
Hachi rolled her eyes. “The lies we like to tell ourselves,” Nana protested at that, “Well, I'm running late. You two enjoy yourself.”
Light on her step, she brushed her lips against Nana before sauntering off.
Nana blinked. The cat blinked with her.