Chapter Text
Present day – Kyle
Kyle leans against the window as he watches the Citadel shrink in his view until he can see it no more. He sighs as he wonders where he’ll end up now. If only he could’ve stayed with the Ryders but no. It would be too easy. Nothing in his life had been easy. For a moment he had let himself feel as though things could work out for him. Then he found himself falling hard for the youngest Ryder and had to leave. He didn’t know how to deal with his feelings. He still doesn’t. It’s so much easier to just run away instead of confronting his feelings. That’s what he told himself when he snuck out of the house the night before. Never to be seen again.
He knows he hurt Jake, but he needed to get out. He isn’t ready to get serious with someone who means so much to him. He had worried he’d ruin the friendship but ended up ruining it anyway because his brain told him the only way was to run.
They had grown close the past five years and his feelings for Jake had started to grow deeper. He wishes he didn’t sleep with Jake before leaving. Not when he couldn’t stay. Once would’ve been bad enough but they had slept together multiple times. He might not be ready to fully confront his feelings, but he couldn’t refuse. He needed to know how it feels to be with someone he loves. Even if it doesn’t last. He might not have that chance again.
He regrets leaving. The last thing he wants is to hurt his friend so deeply. If only he could face his own feelings. Well, now it’s too late anyway. Even if he went back, he’s sure he wouldn’t be forgiven. He can imagine the hurt face reading through his hastily scribbled note. He feels the pit in his stomach grow. He holds back the tears building up in his eyes.
Deciding to take a nap he closes his eyes. Might as well kill time napping. I won’t reach my destination for a while anyway. Wherever that might be.
2 weeks ago
Kyle knows he’s leaving. Knows he must even if it hurts so much. It feels like he’s about to betray the closest friend he’s ever had. Jake has figured out his feelings and seems to feel the same. They haven’t talked about it but it’s clear on Jake’s face. Seeped into his words and the way he treats Kyle. It’s unbearable. His heart aches as he sits here with Jake. The air in the room feels suffocating.
“Are you okay?”
Kyle shakes his head. “Yeah, sorry for worrying you.”
“Are you sure? You have been quiet lately. Even more so than usual.”
“I have a lot on my mind. I feel like I’m lost.”
“You’re here and it’s all that matters. Things will work out.”
“How can you be so sure?” His throat feels tight. If only he could stay with Jake. He needs the optimism, yet he can’t have it.
“I know because we’re here. Together.”
Ouch.
“I’m grateful for you. For being here for me. You and Tyrus are my first real friends. I appreciate all you and your family has done for me.” He feels tears burning in his eyes.
“Aww, I’m happy to be your friend.”
He soon excuses himself. He needs air. Can’t show anything’s wrong. It would make leaving even more painful.
3 months ago
He gets swept up in the moment. Jake’s presence is overwhelming. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t resist. Not when his friend is so close. He feels as though he might burst any moment. The hands reaching under his clothes are driving him wild. Every touch feeling like sparks on his sensitive skin. He presses into the touch. Oh, he needs more. A brush of fingers over his hardening cock makes him buck into the touch. Chasing the delicious sensation.
His face feels red as he rubs himself against Jake. Cool fingers brush off his fiery curls covering his green eyes.
“You look cute when you’re blushing. Even more than usual. Even your freckles shine differently.”
He turns away his gaze. “Oh, shut up.”
Hands caress his cheeks making him look at his friend.
“No need to be embarrassed.”
“I’m not!” He answers a little too quickly.
“It’s okay. You’re safe with me.”
He’s pulled into a careful kiss. It’s as if Jake’s testing the waters. He gives into it letting the other deepen the kiss. Kissing back, he gets an approving noise. Soon he finds himself pressed down on the couch. Hungry hands undressing him.
It doesn’t take long before they’re both naked. For a moment they both just take in the moment. He’s waited for this since the time when he wasn’t quite ready to get so vulnerable. He’s ready now though he must push down the voice in his head that tells him he shouldn’t. Now isn’t the time for regrets. He needs to make this happen. He moves to Jake and pulls him close. His arms wrap around the other and he closes the distance between them. He kisses Jake’s neck hungrily. They’re so close but not close enough. He cants his hips brushing their cocks together making shivers run down his spine. He gasps as the pleasure hits him. Moving his hips at a steady rhythm he kisses Jake. His tongue slides into the eager mouth. With a moan he swirls his tongue around fighting for dominance. Jake grabs his ass, and he moans loudly into the kiss. He decides he’s waited long enough and pushes the other on the bed. Quickly he climbs on top of him and assaults him with hungry kisses followed by his teeth nipping at the neck and chest. Jake writhes underneath him letting out breathless gasps as Kyle leaves marks on his sensitive skin. After he’s happy with the results he licks on the marks before moving to suck one of the erect nipples just begging to be touched. His hand moves to the other nipple fingers twisting and rubbing it until Jake is an incoherent mess under him. It’s time to move to the next step he decides.
He prepares Jake as quickly as he can while still making sure he’s ready for him. He wouldn’t want to hurt the other in his eagerness. Need burns him as he gently pushes against Jake’s entrance asking for permission to enter. Jake answers with eagerness and he slowly pushes in letting the other adjust as he goes. Once hilted he lets Jake take a little moment to get used to the intrusion. He soon gets permission to move so he does. Slowly at first savoring the tightness squeezing his cock with every movement. Jake whimpers under him as the need builds and he needs more. Kyle moves faster now stroking the weeping cock in time with every thrust. He moves faster and faster chasing his pleasure. His movements soon become erratic as he gets closer to his climax. He’s pounding Jake hard, and the moans let him know he’s close as well. Moving faster still he keeps thrusting until he comes with a groan. Soon after Jake spills over his hand with a gasp. They cling to each other for a while before Kyle flops on the bed next to Jake.
“Wow, that was great.” He says with a grin.
“Yeah. We need to do this again soon.” Jake says voice rough from pleasure.
“The sooner the better.”
Present day
He arrives in Nos Astra and soon realizes he has no plans for surviving out here. His days of living in the vents of the Citadel feel so far away now. He’s got too comfortable and isn’t sure he’d be able to live in the streets again. Besides it was easier to get some food when people pitied him because he was so young. He had been 13 back then but looked even younger due to his small size and being malnourished. It was easy to get crumbs from the people who took pity on him. Still, he had trouble finding enough food most of the time. He isn’t too fond of the idea of going back to those days. Especially after being so comfortable living with the Ryders the past five years. He’d do anything to be back on the Citadel with Jake. Even if he didn’t have trouble with his feelings and communication, he doubts it would’ve worked out. He has the feeling Jake’s parents don’t approve of them being together. He isn’t sure if it’s homophobia or him being an unofficial adopted son of the family making it a gray area would they decide to be together. Or maybe it’s both. He’ll never find out so he can only speculate.
He looks around the landing pad he landed on. It’s mostly empty now that the other passengers have moved on. No point loitering here any longer. He grabs his backpack and starts towards the customs check up.
There is barely anyone on the line, so his turn comes fast. When it does, he’s in for a rude surprise.
“What do you mean I’m not allowed to enter the city?”
“It says here you have no job or relevant skills allowing you to find one here. If you can’t support yourself, you’re not allowed to enter. Nothing I can do about it. Unless you have friends or family who can help you get back on your feet. Do you have someone here who we could contact?”
“No...I know no one here. I’m sorry to trouble you. I don’t have anywhere else to go though. I used every credit I had to get here. I’m stuck here now.”
The Asari behind the counter pauses to think. “We can temporarily hold you while we can try to figure something out.” She shakes her head. “For you I hope it’s quick as staying in closed quarters won’t be much fun for long.”
Kyle sighs. He doesn’t have a choice. He doesn’t want to cause a scene. Why did I come here from all places? Without even making any plans to get by. How was I supposed to know this would happen? It’s not like I’ve traveled much let alone legally. He takes a breath to try and calm himself down. “Looks like I’ve no choice. So, you’re locking me up for now?”
The Asari looks apologetic as she answers. “Yes, we will have you in one of the holding cells in the back. Just as long as it takes to arrange your release. We’ll keep you informed. You won’t be here for any longer than necessary.”
“It must be enough for now then. You can take me there now. I won’t resist as there’s no point. I’d just be in more trouble.”
“Very well. Follow me.”
He slowly follows her to the back where he’s led to a cell. There are other cells around his which is the smallest one made for one. It’s to be a lonely stay then. Maybe it’s better this way. Who knows who I’d end up with in here... He sits down on the cot and stretches. He’s still sore after the trip. Yawning he realizes he’s tired as well though his racing thoughts aren’t giving him rest. So, he stays awake drowning in the sea of memories and regrets. He’s not happy about having who knows how much time to stew alone in his thoughts. At least he has a few books he can read to pass the time. Maybe he could even ask for more if he runs out of reading material. He picks up a book trying to push his worries to the side. A picture of Jake’s face flashes before his eyes and he tries to banish it as well. He needs to move on. He can’t think about what he’s lost lest it breaks him into tiny pieces. To a point where he can’t pick himself back up again.
4 months ago
He’s lying down on the couch his head on Jake’s lap. He looks up at the bright eyes studying him. His heart flutters being so close to his friend. The fondness he feels is overwhelming. He is grateful for meeting Jake who has made his life better. He’s a lot happier now than he has ever been. Still deep down he feels like it can’t last. He’s not supposed to be happy. Sooner or later, it will all come crashing down on him. He’s not sure he wants to stay around to see it happen. Maybe it would be easier to leave before it happened. Before he’s too attached to leave everything behind again.
“What are you thinking about?” Jake asks after a while. “You’re so quiet today.”
“Oh, nothing much. Just happy to be here with you.”
“Me too.”
Jake leans his head down and before he thinks better of it, he meets him halfway. Their faces hovering inches from each other there’s electricity in the air. It’s dizzying as he waits in anticipation. Finally, Jake closes the last bit of distance between them. Warm lips press gently against his. He kisses back eagerly soon pushing his tongue into the wet heat of Jake’s mouth. They kiss passionately for a long while. Eventually they pull apart gasping for air. They can’t stay apart for long though soon making out once more.
Jake pushes Kyle’s shirt up revealing a scarred stomach. Once the shirt is gone, he finds more scars on his back and sides. He gasps at the sight. Wondering what happened though he doesn’t want to ask in case it’s too much for Kyle. He doesn’t want to bring up painful memories.
Kyle suddenly freezes under the eyes studying him. He’s feeling insecure about his body. No one has really seen it. No one who matters anyway. He’s worried it will be too much for Jake to handle. Maybe he is just too ugly to be loved. His body ruined by all those people who had abused him instead of taking care of him. It’s been a while now since those days, yet he can’t really forget about it. He still has nightmares of his time in the shitty foster homes he spent way too much time in. He’s glad he ditched Earth even if he wasn’t sure he’d even survive the trip at the time. He had only hoped to be somewhere far enough to get away from the violence. And maybe it didn’t really matter whether he survived. He didn’t have a reason fight back then.
“Are you okay?”
“Sorry, this is a lot.” He takes a breath. “I’m worried now that I’m too hideous to look at. You had no idea what you’d get. I understand if it’s a deal breaker.” He feels his heart sink as he waits for an answer.
Jake pulls him close and holds him tight. So tight he feels like he’s going to burst. Maybe it’ll all be okay. “You’re good enough the way you are. I’d never turn my back on you. Let alone for something like this. It makes me sad to see it but I’m also happy you’re still here. With me.”
He sniffles trying not to burst into tears. “Your words mean so much to me. You and your family have been the nicest people I’ve ever known. There wasn’t much kindness in my life before your family took me in. I’m so grateful for you all.”
“I’m happy we met. Happier still after you became my friend even after Tyrus and I treated you so badly.”
“It wasn’t nice, but our misadventure brought us together. And I really appreciate you standing up for me. I bet Tyrus would be picking up on me still if you didn’t. And he would’ve never suggested bringing me to your home either. It really surprised me, and I don’t quite understand why he did it. Still, I’m glad he did. “
“Yeah, I’ve wondered why he did that. He hasn’t given me an answer when I’ve asked so I guess it’ll stay a mystery.”
They talk late into the night. He feels closer to Jake than he’s ever been. They cuddle and Jake gently traces over his scars. Kissing them with all the love and affection he has for the other. Once they’re too tired to talk they fall asleep Jake still holding him close.