Chapter Text
While most people believe powers make everything easier, Kara’s superpowers can be both a blessing and a curse. Of course hearing everything in a ten mile radius can be great, but she hears everything… literally everything. Every dog barking, every blender whirring, every awkward conversation (she feels the secondhand embarrassment from some of them), even every sensual conversation and the noises that come after that.
Kara knows most people would kill for her powers, but some days she wishes that she could just turn them off. The super strength is the hardest to deal with. She no longer has to concentrate on the amount of strength she's using normally. But the moment she feels any strong emotion, all her control goes out the window. This has made having a special relationship difficult for Kara. The first time she danced with someone, she broke three of his toes. So having any kind of sexual relationship with a human is risky, especially because she can't control her strength during intimacy. The only person who has come close to keeping up with her needs was Mon-El, however that ship had sailed six months ago.
This has led to Kara feeling a bit frustrated, which has started interfering with her superheroing. Today was not an exception to that. She had just botched up what should have been an uneventful and easy capture of an Obscuran who has been stealing artifacts to sell on the black market. Not to mention that Snapper shot down all her article ideas, insulting her intelligence with every idea presented. Supergirl went to confront the Obscuran to try and peacefully detain him, as Obscurans aren't known to be a very aggressive race. Well, apparently, ones committing crimes are the exceptions, as the Obscuran immediately threw a punch and turned himself invisible. Supergirl tried using her x-ray vision to detect him and managed to grab him, but that quickly went south when he head-butted her right in the face. She threw a punch back and missed because, believe it or not, it's kind of hard to hit something invisible. Letting out a couple of expletives in Kryptonian, Supergirl kept searching for the Obscuran, but to no avail. After 20 more minutes of searching, she accepts that the criminal is long gone, along with another expensive artifact. She flew back to the DEO, knowing she was about to get an earful from both J'onn and Alex about her performance today.
"Supergirl, what did you think you were doing out there?" J'onn asks the moment she lands on the balcony. His angry scowl seems even angrier than usual. "That should have been a simple detainment of a non-violent criminal."
"Non-violent my ass! Did you see how he head-butted me? He got violent pretty fast if you ask me." Supergirl states in quite a loud tone. She crosses her arms and scowls at J'onn.
"You should have been prepared for an escalation! You are used to fighting much more violent species, and getting so easily outmaneuvered by anyone is embarrassing for this organization and should be for you too." J'onn states as he stomps away.
"An embarrassment? Is that what you think of my skills? Embarrassing for your precious organization?" Kara yells as she follows him, clearly not wanting to lose this argument. Alex follows the two of them.
"Kara, that's obviously not how he meant it. You know J'onn isn't the best at expressing his thoughts through words." Alex says, trying to deescalate the conversation and prevent any more harsh words being said.
Kara turns to Alex, her anger now directed at her sister now. "Do you feel like I'm an embarrassment too? Is that everyone here sees me?" She shouts the last part and gains some scared looks from a few agents around her.
Alex pulls Kara away and walks her the hologram room. "What is going on with you? You're acting like everyone is against you. I know you're still feeling angry and sad that Mon-El left, you have to learn to accept that he's gone. I get that it will take time to get over him, but it's already been six months, and it's affecting your Supergirl duties now." She puts a hand on Kara's shoulder, waiting on an answer.
Kara sighs. She knows she shouldn't have yelled at everyone."I know I have to accept Mon-El left and isn't coming back. I'm trying to, but I just feel so alone now," Kara says as she sits on the edge of the hologram platform. "I just don't know how to go back to normal now that I don't have him in my life."
"I want to help you however I can, but right now it's my job as your sister and as an agent to tell you that you have to separate your personal feelings from the job. I think you need to find a way to move on from him. Maybe it's time to get back out there." Alex says and Kara begins to protest. "I'm not saying that you should get into a relationship. I'm just saying that a date or two wouldn't kill you. Just think about it."
Alex leaves the room and Kara stares down at her hands as she is left with her thoughts and wonders about what she should do. She does admit that she is letting her emotions get the best of her and maybe Alex is right that she needs to get back out into society. Kara has been avoiding group hangouts and game nights, saying that she hasn't felt up to it. She just doesn't know how to go back to normal when Mon-El was such a big part of her life. He was part of her "normal", but now he's gone.
She turns to the hologram platform and starts talking to it. "Mom." A figure of Alura Zor-El stands on the platform. She looks the same as she always does, never changing even as Kara changes and grows.
"Hello, my daughter" The voice of Alura says."Is there anything that I can assist you with?"
Kara looks at the hologram of her mother. She knows it's the only connection that she has to her home planet besides Kal-El, but part of her knows that's not her mom. It might be her mom's thoughts and knowledge, but it still doesn't feel like her mom, not fully. Even though Kara feels this way, she still tries to connect with the fragment of her home that she has left. Her mother's thoughts might be able to give her some advice to help her understand her feelings.
"Did you ever deal with a heartbreak that you couldn't get over?" she asks the hologram, hoping to feel some kind of connection with her mother. The figure's expression never changes, no matter what information it is telling her.
"I have never experienced heartbreaks in relationships. Zor-El was the only romantic relationship I ever had. The only heartbreak that I ever dealt with was letting our planet fail and losing you." Alura's image stated. Kara's heart hurt hearing that her mother felt like this. She knew her mother regretted the actions she took that led to the death of their planet, but hearing that it was what broke her heart made Kara miss her actual mother even more.
Kara leaves the hologram room to find J'onn and apologize for earlier. Kara knows that she needs to work on not letting her feelings hurt others the way they are hurting her. She finds J'onn in the control room.
"I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that and I'll try to locate the Obscurant again and get him." Kara says dejectedly.
"Your apology is accepted. I hope you know that I do not feel as if you are an embarrassment to this organization," J'onn tells her, his arms crossed. "I do not know why you acted the way you did today, but I hope it will not happen again, especially in front of the other agents. They are already wary of all alien lifeforms, we do not need to give them reason to worry about us too."
"I know. I let my emotions get the best of me and I took it out on you instead. I'll make an effort to keep my personal life separate from Supergirl."
"You have duties to uphold and you do them well. I know recent events have been hard on you, but Supergirl has to persevere even if Kara is struggling. If you require any help, I will do what I can" J'onn puts a supportive hand on Kara's shoulder, which is the closest form of physical affection he gives. Kara thanks him for his offer and leaves the DEO.
As Kara arrives at her apartment, she thinks about the events of today. It ended up being an all around bad day for her. Her boss hates her, she failed to detain the Obscurant, and nothing seems to be going right. Something new might bring her out of this funk. She decides that Alex's idea of dating might actually help her out of her slump, even if it is a little out of her comfort zone. Kara thinks back to all the first dates Alex and her friends forced her into and how every one went terribly. She hopes that won't be a running element in all her dates.
"Well, there's no time like the present," Kara says as she opens the dating app she downloaded.