Chapter Text
Jamie scratched the stubble on his chin and sighed.
Luckily his peripheral vision still served him well and he was able to snatch the letter from the table top just before Claire slammed down his tankard of beer in front of him.
They’d been arguing about its contents since it had arrived with the bundle of correspondence earlier that day.
“Ye have tae come with me, Claire. Ye’re my wife!” he exclaimed.
“I thought we’d established long ago that I was not compelled to do whatever you told me to!”
“I dinna mean – ”
“Yes, you damn well did!” Claire sat down opposite him. Her brows were furrowed and it was clear his approach was not helping.
“Claire – ye ken Jenny wouldna ask this it if it wasna urgent.”
“I know nothing of the sort.”
Despite having maintained contact via letters, Jamie had missed the family he’d left behind at Lallybroch. The irony that he’d only left in pursuit of those who’d kidnapped Young Ian wasn’t lost on him.
Rubbing his forehead, Jamie sighed once more. “D’ye no’ recall that the only reason we crossed the damn ocean was tae rescue wee Ian and take him home tae his parents?”
“Of course I do. And since then, you’ve almost got yourself killed several times – at the hands of the British Navy, the damn ocean and a bloody bear!” yelled Claire.
“Aye. And yet I am still here. What’s yer point, lass?”
“We’ve fought tooth and nail for this home of ours. Ian has also made a new life for himself – he doesn’t want to go back to Lallybroch!”
“Ye dinna ken that – maybe no’ to live, but tae see his ma and da fer one more time.”
“They could come to visit us,” said Claire, glaring at him. “Your brother-in-law has other men run the farm now.”
“Aye, because he’s too sick tae run it himself – and too sick tae travel!”
“Oh yes, and you cope with sea voyages so well, don’t you?” countered Claire, bitterly.
“That’s why I need ye tae come wi’ me. Tae administer the wee needles.”
“Meanwhile deserting the patients I have here!”
“Jenny wants tae see her son – I canna deny her that.”
It had only been a few months ago that Jamie had been surprised by Lord John’s visit, accompanied by the son sired by Jamie and raised by John. The pleasure he’d got from spending a few days in the company of his son warmed his heart and made him appreciate how much his sister would be missing her youngest child.
“Ye ken, we only travelled across the ocean tae find the lad and we were meant to fetch him home.”
“I know. Who was to know what would happen once we found him in Jamaica.”
“Will ye no’ come with me? I’ll be collecting the printing press for Fergus.”
“I can’t – it’s impossible, Jamie. There are three women who are expecting babies in the next few weeks. Would you have me abandon them?”
“Claire – women have been having bairns long before ye arrived here!”
“Yes and many died in the process! I will not let those girls down. You know one of them is barely sixteen! Think on that!”
Jamie scratched his jaw and sighed. He had to concede that Claire had a point.
Claire reached out to take his hand. “If you believe you have a duty to return to Scotland for a visit, you’ll have to go on your own, Jamie. I can show Ian how to administer the needles to spare you from seasickness, but I must stay here.”
“I’ll be worrit sick about leaving ye here, with no one but Roger Mac and Fergus tae protect ye.”
“I’m perfectly capable of shooting anyone who causes trouble – and so is Marsali for that matter.”
“Aye, I ken that. But … I dinna like how those bastards in Brownsville are turning folk against ye.”
“Men,” snapped Claire. “It’s men that they’re influencing– ”
“Men who say it’s because of ye that their women are breaking their marriage contracts by refusing them what is - !”
Claire scowled at him and shook her head. “Do not finish that sentence, Jamie Fraser.
“I’m only sayin’ it’s what the laws say. I ken it’s no’ right, Claire, but it’s how things are. By encouraging their wives tae abstain from … “
“Sex. For a few days per month.”
“Aye. But I warrant ye, the number of bruised faces and broken arms are gonna increase, coinciding with those ‘few days’.” Jamie understood why Claire would want to spare the women from one pregnancy after another. However, he also knew that some of the men who’d settled on the Ridge, who’d once been inmates of Ardsmuir, had tempers and did not take kindly to being deprived of what they believed to be theirs by right.
“I cannot believe they cannot keep it in their pants for a few days every month, that’s all. Just to avoid conception.”
“But Claire, ye dinna understand - these men want their wives tae give them bairns!”
“I understand only too well that they want them barefoot and pregnant for every day of their fertile lives!” shouted Claire, angrily. “I thought better of you, Jamie. Anything that impacts on the health and wellbeing of the women affects the men as well. It’s the women who take care of the children, put meals on the tables, make and mend clothing. My concerns have always been for the whole person, for the whole woman and not just her ability to spit out babies!”
“These are religious folk, Claire. They believe that what ye’re encouraging the women tae do is against God’s wishes – ”
“Even if bearing a child puts the mother’s life at risk?” Claire swallowed hard. “Or they suffer the pain of losing a baby…”
Jamie could see tears gathering on her lashes and knew instinctively that she was thinking back to the birth of her two daughters. Each time, she’d come close to death and he’d not been there for her. He felt ashamed of himself.
“I’m sorry, lass.” He got up from his seat and gathered her into his arms. “I canna help but fear fer yer safety.”
Claire hugged him back. Sniffing, she fetched a handkerchief from a pocket and blew her nose.
“If you are worried about my safety, you should write to Lord John.”
“Why?” Jamie’s face creased up.
“Inform him that your plans to travel to Scotland. He has connections and status and I suspect he would be only too happy to offer his assistance should your interests need protecting in your absence.”
“My …my interests?” spluttered Jamie. “Claire, ye’re no’ a possession of mine!”
“That’s not what you were implying earlier, but if it puts your mind at rest, reach out to him. I know you write to one another regularly with updates. After all, you trusted him to safeguard your son all those years ago, so why not your wife?”
“I dinna want him tae adopt ye, Claire!”
Claire smiled at him, the indulgent smile she bestowed on him when she thought he was being an idiot. “That’s not what I am saying. But … after his stay with us, when he had measles, I had the opportunity to get to know him considerably better than I had before. I know him to be honourable and he… he did tell me that should I ever be in need of his help, to call upon him without hesitation.”
“Ye did save his life, Claire.”
“If I’d not, would you have told William the truth?”
Jamie thought back to the moment William had seen John healthy and ran to him in joy. John was a good father to his son. William loved him dearly and that love was returned. He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if Claire had broken bad news that day.
“I dinna want tae think of that possibility,” he said, shuddering. He owed John Grey his life and his friendship had meant a great deal to him. He didn’t want to consider how he’d have coped if he’d died from that dreadful disease.
“Is that settled, then? You’ll write to John?”
Jamie nodded his head. If there was one man he’d trust to ensure the safety of his wife, it was Lord John Grey, honourable to a fault and a senior officer in the British Army. “Aye, I shall.”
“I’ll tell Ian to find someone to look after that bloody dog of his. Adso can fend for himself, finding mice and rats in the barns, but a wolf is another matter entirely!”
“Aye, lass.”
That evening, Jamie sat in his study and wrote to John Grey. He went further than Claire suggested, knowing that his friend would oblige his requests. He asked John to visit Fraser’s Ridge while he was away, explaining that there was a group of men in Brownsville who may take advantage of his absence to make trouble for Claire.
Unbeknownst to Claire, he asked John to take care of Claire should anything happen to him. He reminded John of the promise made after he had recovered from measles. The two men had played one last game of chess while Claire helped William bake biscuits to take with them on their onward journey. John had solemnly sworn that he owed Claire his life and that he would do anything to protect hers in future should the event ever arise where she needed his protection.
John had confessed to Jamie that he felt he was to blame for his Isobel’s death. Not only had he not been at his wife’s side, as she crossed the ocean to join him, but young William had been alone to grieve for his dear step mama, who’d been consigned to a burial at sea, far from her home at Helwater. Despite Jamie’s attempt to console him, John bore the guilt in a way that would have done a Catholic proud. He may not have loved Isobel as Jamie loved his wife, but it was obvious he cared for her more than he chose to admit. Even though Jamie knew John was not a religious man, he prayed for him, asking God to give him peace and to let him find some happiness in his life.
Not satisfied with writing to John, Jamie also wrote letters he’d give to Fergus and Roger, with instructions of how to contact Lord John if there was any sign of unrest that threatened Claire’s safety. Experience had shown him that, like himself, Claire was often too stubborn to ask for help until it was almost too late.
Pressing his seal into the molten wax on each letter, Jamie reckoned he’d done his best to protect his beloved wife. Although he would rather have Claire by his side, he felt calmer in the knowledge that Lord John would be there for her if she was in need.