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Gyuvin met Ricky on his first day of school. He met a lot of people on his first day of school, like Gunwook and his light-up sneakers or Mr. Sung who always clapped too loud when he wanted everyone's attention, but Ricky had stood out.
He thinks, maybe, he likes Ricky because he’s not like anything he’s ever known. He isn't like Gunwook, who studies history and talks Gyuvin's head off even when he knows Gyuvin has heard this topic a million times over. He definitely isn't like Yujin, Gyuvin's step brother, who always looks at Gyuvin like he knows something no one else does. His eyes are big and judging and Gyuvin thinks Yujin might whisper about him when he isn't looking.
"Yujin is fourteen." Ricky mumbles, staring at Gyuvin with half-lidded eyes. He's well on his way to sleep, curled up in Gyuvin's bed with the blanket up to his chin.
“Yeah, I know,” Gyuvin isn’t paying attention, too focused on the video game projected on his tiny TV. He’s never been so close to beating this level, not since Yujin reset his progress after an argument. He hits the jump button, but he’s half a second too late. He stares unblinking as his avatar slips down the screen into the vast darkness of his lost life. His eyebrows pinch together and he swivels his desk chair to look at Ricky. “What does that have to do with it? You can be fourteen and mean.”
“He’s not fourteen and mean ,” Ricky counters, rolling his tired eyes. “He’s just fourteen. They’re all like that. You were.”
Gyuvin scoffs, getting up to cut his TV off. The room is engulfed in darkness and Gyuvin blinks to get used to it. Ricky makes room on the bed and Gyuvin slides under the blanket beside him, grumbling, “I wasn’t mean. I was just, like, awkward.”
It’s a lame attempt to defend himself, as if three years is really that long ago, but Ricky isn’t having it.
Ricky says something else, but he's gotten to the point in the night when he's too tired to make any sense. Ricky doesn't normally make sense, but it's worse when he's saying words in languages Gyuvin doesn't even speak.
Gyuvin sleeps easily with Ricky an inch away. Their hands intertwine underneath the blanket and Gyuvin just barely remembers to memorialize the warmth of Ricky's fingers against his, keep it between the ridges of his own.
☀︎
Gyuvin gets his license on the first day of summer. He'd wanted to get it before graduation, t celebrate, but Ricky had missed the ceremony anyway, so he didn't see a point. Only, when his parents mentioned Yujin taking driving lessons, he knew he couldn't let him get that freedom before he did.
He's not that excited, not with Ricky away for a family event and Yujin only knocking on his door to get food or to go to the record store, but he guesses it’s something to be proud of anyway.
"Is Ricky gonna spend summer with us again?" It's posed as a casual question. Yujin has his knees to his chest and his head tilted down to look at the fry carton he's holding, but Gyuvin knows better. Yujin misses Ricky just as much as he does.
"Get your shoes off my seat." Gyuvin swats at Yujin's leg, who grumbles and stomps his feet into the car's floorboard. Gyuvin tightens his fingers around the steering wheel, staring at the restaurant they've parked in front of. "I don't know when Ricky's getting back. Should be soon. But you're not invited to hang out with us, it's our last summer before college."
"Whatever," Yujin faces the window. "Loser."
" Loser ?" Gyuvin gapes. "Who's driving you around right now, punk?"
He raises a fist at Yujin, who hides his laugh with a yelp and cowers behind his fry carton.
"Okay, sorry!"
Gyuvin doesn't give him the satisfaction of seeing his own smile, shaking his head and busying himself with starting the car.
Getting home, Gyuvin feels exhaustion weigh heavy on him. He doesn't mean to fall asleep, really, but his bed is so comfortable and the rain is hitting his window at just the right volume. It's dark when he opens his eyes, eyes focusing on the shadow that creaks his door open.
"You awake?" Ricky's voice cuts through the rain. He's gentle, but it makes Gyuvin's heart jump like thunder.
"I am now." Gyuvin rubs at his eyes as he sits up, leaning over to turn the lamp on. "I thought you were coming home next week."
Ricky shrugs, stepping in to sit on the edge of Gyuvin's bed. "The trip was cut short. Mom wanted to come home early so I could see you."
"You're mom wanted that?" Gyuvin grins, teasing, and stretches his arm to poke at Ricky's side. "Or did you?"
Ricky rolls his eyes, swatting Gyuvin's hand away. "Shut up. Come get a slushie with me."
The neon open sign buzzes behind Ricky's head. Gyuvin hopes it covers up the rapid beat of his pulse.
"I'm glad you're here." Gyuvin doesn't really like to be sentimental, but the urge is clawing at him. The top of Ricky's head glows blue under the lights, like some kind of makeshift halo. It's a little cold, despite the summer sun being high just an hour or so ago. "I was worried we wouldn't get much time together."
"I wouldn't let that happen." Ricky leans back against the gas station window, adjusting his feet. "I was gonna come back sooner or later."
Gyuvin shrugs, swallowing down his embarrassment. "I know. Still. Here, try this,"
He holds out his slushie to cut the moment short, save himself some of the humiliation.
Ricky makes a face, shaking his head. "It's too late for so much sugar."
"Who cares?" Gyuvin leans his head on Ricky's shoulder, blinking out at the road. He doesn’t mention that it was Ricky’s idea to come here in the first place and Ricky doesn't reply with anything more than a hum, shrugging hard enough to jostle Gyuvin's head.
Ricky's been distant, or at least, as distant as Gyuvin can notice in between all the times he disappears. That's normal, he'd grown used to that in middle school, but the last few weeks have been different.
"Ricky?"
"Mm?"
"Do you... like, want to be here? With me? I can take you home if you're tired or something or, maybe, if you just want a break. From me."
He feels Ricky tense, then feels a drop of dread fall heavy into his stomach, spreading to his chest and throat like ink in water. He assumes he's said something wrong, made Ricky uncomfortable, but then Ricky is taking his hand and squeezing.
"How long have we been best friends?"
Gyuvin pauses, not expecting the question. He blinks out at the road again, watching a car pass and trying to count how many times the back wheel spins. "I don't know. Forever?"
"Twelve years. On Saturday."
"Oh."
"There are no breaks from you, Gyuvin. I don't want there to be." Gyuvin closes his eyes as Ricky speaks, feeling the burn behind them and hoping he doesn't choke on his reply.
He doesn't look up, but he can imagine how pretty Ricky looks right now. How pretty he looks all the time, speaking so gently like his words aren't suffocating Gyuvin.
Ricky squeezes his hand again and Gyuvin nods against his shoulder. "Sorry for assuming."
"Don't be sorry, stupid." Ricky mumbles, detaching his hand from Gyuvin's just to hold it out again, pinky extended. "I missed you. I don't want to be anywhere else. Promise."
Gyuvin links their pinkies, mouth pulling into a smile. The pads of their thumbs press together and Gyuvin wants to lean forward and seal it with a kiss. He lets go instead, stepping away from Ricky. He needs to put space between them, take a deep breath. Do something to feel less dizzy.
"Want to pick up pizza? Yujin might still be awake."
Ricky is quiet on the drive home. Gyuvin wishes he could know what he's thinking or even what he's feeling.
Gyuvin narrows his eyes at the road. He can smell the pizza in the back seat, and tries to focus on that rather than the wedge that still sits between him and Ricky. Ricky had promised him, had swore it with the clasp of their hands. Gyuvin's trying to trust him, but he can't help but feel like something is keeping them apart.
Ricky waits in the kitchen while Gyuvin knocks on Yujin's door. He hears the clatter of plates, the scrape of the cardboard box.
Yujin swings the door open, hair mussed and eyes narrowed. "What?"
"Ricky's here." Gyuvin saays and watches the excitement fill Yujin's features. "With pizza."
"Hell yeah." Yujin pushes past him to the kitchen and Gyuvin frowns, starting after him.
"Watch your mouth." He scolds, but Yujin isn't paying attention.
"Hey, Yuj," Ricky passes him a plate, then sets one in front of Gyuvin.
Yujin looks up at him, speaking through a mouth of pizza. "Hey. How was Shanghai?"
"Boring." Ricky says it with a smile, the one Gyuvin's been wanting to see all night. "Whole time I was wishing to be here bothering you."
He reaches over to mess up Yujin's hair, but the youngest flinches out of the way just before Ricky's hand makes contact. He's laughing though and half a second later Ricky is doing the same.
Gyuvin doesn't mean to stare. This isn't his conversation to be in, but he can't rip his eyes away from Ricky.
"I think I left my bag in your car, I'll be back," Ricky stands from the kitchen table, leaving Yujin and Gyuvin in the quiet.
"Gyuvin?"
"What's up?" Gyuvin takes a bite of pizza, then takes one from the box to put on Yujin's plate.
"Are you ever going to tell Ricky?"
Gyuvin hums, focused on Ricky coming back inside. He passes the kitchen, headed for Gyuvin's room. Tell Ricky what? He feels his face twist in confusion and Yujin looks at him a little funny.
"Are you gonna tell him that you like him?"
Gyuvin pauses his chewing, head shooting up to look at Yujin. "What?"
"I was just wondering." Yujin looks like a kid who's been caught, like maybe he realizes that wasn't the right thing to say.
Gyuvin swallows, clearing his throat. He looks away from Yujin, feeling the warmth on his face. "I'm waiting to see if it'll go away."
"Oh." Yujin says, then nods. "How long do you think that will take?"
"Forever, probably." Gyuvin stands, taking his plate to the sink. "Finish your food, it's getting late."
Yujin grumbles something about "getting late" being no such thing during summer, but Gyuvin is already leaving the kitchen.
Ricky has already changed into pajamas when Gyuvin gets to his bedroom, his knees to his chest where he sits at Gyuvin's desk.
"I'm loading up my pictures from Shanghai," He says as Gyuvin pushes the door shut. "I wanted to show you the prettiest view from my hotel."
Gyuvin hums, hovering over the back of the desk chair. He watches Ricky more than he watches the screen, but he still catches glimpses of the pictures. Ricky smiling, a fully bloomed flower, a picture of him and his mom.
"I still want to take you one day." Ricky murmurs, clicking a picture into full view. "Planes aren't that scary."
"To you." Gyuvin knocks his hand against the back of Ricky's head, just enough to annoy him. He ignores his complaints in favor of looking at the picture.
The view really is beautiful, the city lights reflecting on the water. Ricky's thumb blurs the left corner of the camera, making it a thousand times more endearing.
"I'll go with you one day," Gyuvin promises. "Just tell me when."
"Okay." Ricky says softly, twisting around to look up at Gyuvin. "Maybe over Christmas break in a few months. My mom would love that."
Ricky sleeps before Gyuvin does, almost as soon as he crawls into Gyuvin's bed.
Gyuvin is restless, staring at the open file on his computer, scrolling through Ricky's pictures until his eyes burn. He wishes he could be the one behind them, capturing that smile and the red of Ricky's ears when he laughs too hard.
He closes the computer with a dull thud, glancing over at Ricky's sleeping figure. It feels a little freakish, so he looks away, only to look back again.
Gyuvin stands from the desk, trailing out of the room and into the kitchen. He needs a glass of water, then he'll go to bed so as to not miss Ricky before he inevitably leaves in the morning.
Yujin is already at the table, looking up when Gyuvin comes in. His eyes are wide, like he's expecting Gyuvin to scold him, but is surprised to see Gyuvin wordlessly fill a glass.
"Are you mad at me?" Yujin's voice cuts through the silence and Gyuvin shuts the tap off.
"No. Should I be?"
Yujin shrugs, setting down his pencil. "I thought maybe... because of what I asked earlier. I didn't mean to pry."
"You didn't pry." Gyuvin leans against the counter. "Being curious isn't a bad thing."
Yujin looks down at his notebook, fingers picking at the flaking spine. "I think you should tell him."
"It's not the right time." Gyuvin sets his glass down. "Maybe in, like, some alternate universe or something."
"There is no alternate universe." Yujin frowns. "There's just this one. You'll run out of time before it's right."
Gyuvin stares at him and Yujin stares back, determined. "When did you get so logical?"
"You just don't pay attention to me." Yujin scoffs, rolling his eyes. He shuts the notebook, gathering his belongings and standing. "If there was an alternate universe, where you got Ricky, but I wasn't your brother, would you take it?"
Gyuvin laughs, but Yujin is serious. He pours the rest of his water down the sink and moves to push Yujin toward his bedroom. "No, Yujin. I'd stay right here. Go to bed."
"Okay." Yujin seems pleased, willingly heading down the hallway. Gyuvin passes his room to go to his own, Ricky in the spot he’d left him. He lays on his back beside him, waiting for sleep to give him an out. Anything to not think about Yujin’s words.
☀︎
There's a creek in the woods behind Gyuvin's house. The trees part above it to make way for a patch of sun to warm the dirt near the rocks. It was the start of summer, just before first grade, when Ricky had promised to be best friends with Gyuvin here.
Gyuvin hadn't known then how earnest Ricky was, with his little pinky extended and a determined crease in his eyebrows. It's fitting, he thinks, that they sit here now.
Ricky lays back against the grass, eyes closed where the sun hits his face.
"Are you doing anything Saturday?" Gyuvin asks, eyes following a bug along the rocks.
"Packing." Ricky answers and Gyuvin nods. He figures he'll help Ricky out, or at least bother him while he does the work.
Gyuvin thinks about what Yujin said, about running out of time. He feels it now, like the current in the creek. Slipping by before he can count the waves.
"I know the assignments can be a lot, but we'll still make time for each other, right?" It's a stupid question, but Gyuvin feels a strange anxiety in his hands.
Ricky doesn't answer. Gyuvin huffs out a laugh, leaning over to look at Ricky. "Are you sleeping?"
Ricky's eyes blink open and Gyuvin flinches. They're closer than he intended. If Ricky sits still for a while, Gyuvin could count his eyelashes.
"Oh, hey." He says and Ricky smiles, all teeth and eyes crinkled at the corners.
"Hey."
Something in his chest jumps, beats on the cage it's in, and yells at Gyuvin. If not now, then when? The sticks and rocks are pressing into his palms where he keeps himself up. He wishes he could imprint the glint in Ricky's eyes into his skin the same way.
"Can I kiss you?" It's whispered, almost covered by the water. But they're so close, too close. Gyuvin watches recognition fall over Ricky's features just before the fear settles in.
"No," Ricky tries to say it gently, Gyuvin can tell, but the back of his throat singes with humiliation anyway. "You can't, Gyuvin."
Gyuvin feels his body lurch away from Ricky. He feels weird, like his feet aren't on the ground, but he's looking at them firm against the dirt.
Gyuvin had perfect attendance until the second week of eighth grade. He assumes then is when everyone was taught to deal with these kind of things, like when's the right time to kiss your best friend and how to know if you've fucked everything up.
He hears Ricky sit up. He's scared to lift his eyes, but he pushes the fear aside. If not now, then when? He wants to know why more than anything, why the answer is no.
Ricky isn't really looking at him like he's fucked everything up, but you can never be too sure with him. Gyuvin stares and stares and ignores that awful feeling in his gut. Ricky told him before to be more patient, so he stares and he waits until he’s itching to do something, to say anything.
Finally, Ricky blinks his eyes away from Gyuvin's and looks down at the creek. The knees of his jeans are dirty. There's a leaf stuck to his hair.
"I'm moving soon."
Gyuvin's heart collapses.
"What?" He breathes, barely heard over the creek.
Ricky swallows. Gyuvin's eyes follow the movement, then trail down to where Ricky picks at his fingernails. "I got accepted into UCLA."
The summer heat becomes suffocating around Gyuvin, melting his lungs against his ribs and his body to the ground. He's stuck and he wants to understand Ricky, but he can't. He could split Ricky open and create a home where his brain sits and he still wouldn't understand why . Why wouldn't Ricky tell him before? He must have known for months now. Why did he let Gyuvin waste this summer pining and wallowing when he could have told him and Gyuvin could have been brave sooner?
He'd known they weren’t going to the same college. Ricky had money, had more opportunities, Gyuvin understood that. There are plenty of good schools here, he only assumed Ricky had chosen to stick around.
"I'm sorry." Ricky whispers.
"It's okay." Gyuvin isn't sure what else to say. It isn't okay, how could it be? In less than a month, Ricky will be across the country and Gyuvin will be stuck in their hometown.
He supposes it's always been that way. Even right here beside each other, they'll never be of the same mind. Ricky is meant for so much more.
"You want to, though. Right?" Gyuvin asks. It's mumbled, his eyes trained on the grass.
"Want to what?"
Gyuvin swallows, willing his heart to slow down before he throws it up or dies. He shrugs, untying his sneaker just to re-tie it, give his hands something to do. "Kiss me."
He only looks back at Ricky when the silence stretches between them, the creek trickling. Ricky is already looking at him, the tips of his ears red.
"Yeah, I do," He admits, words soft, but they hurt when they hit Gyuvin. "But I can't. I can't do that to you and then leave."
"You could. I'd be okay with it." Gyuvin presses his sneaker into the dirt, digs his nails into his palm.
"It wouldn't be right." Ricky says, so sincere Gyuvin can taste the sweetness in his mouth. Ricky, always so careful with Gyuvin's feelings. Gyuvin wants to hate him for it.
"Okay." Gyuvin only nods. His chest hurts. He wants to cry, kind of, but he doesn't want Ricky to feel worse.
"Why aren't you angry?" Ricky asks and Gyuvin looks over at him, lips parted with surprise.
"Do you want me to be?"
Ricky frowns, stare unwavering. "I want you to react, at least. Don't you want me to stay?"
"No, I don't." Gyuvin's eyebrows pull together. He cowers away from Ricky, racking his brain for why Ricky could possibly be asking him that. "How could I? This is really important to you, Ricky."
"So are you. That matters too, right?" Ricky stands, dusting off his jeans.
Gyuvin stares up at him. "I don't think it does. UCLA... you can do something with that, Ricky."
"But not with this? I want more time with you." Ricky divulges. He sounds defeated, like he doesn't have the strength to pretend anymore, and Gyuvin understands. He gets it, but never in a million years would he let Ricky entertain the idea of staying here.
"We'll get time." Gyuvin pulls himself to his feet, determined to get it through to Ricky. "When you come home. For break, or even when you've graduated. We'll have time then."
"I don't want you to be stuck waiting for me." Gyuvin hears the break in Ricky's tone, sees the way his eyes dart across Gyuvin's features.
Ricky can't cry. Not now, because then Gyuvin won't be able to convince him. He won't even be able to convince himself that Ricky should go. "It's not me being stuck. Waiting for you is just something I do."
"Gyuvin." Ricky whispers and Gyuvin turns away from him.
"I'm taking you home."
" Gyuvin ."
"I don't want to argue." It's the last thing he wants. He should stay with Ricky, make use of whatever they have left, but nothing feels right.
He doesn't say goodbye to Ricky. He barely watches him walk the driveway before he's pulling off. He isn't expecting anyone to be home when he arrives, slamming the door and startling Yujin into standing from his spot on the couch.
"Gyuvin?"
"I don't want to talk." Gyuvin snaps, dropping his bag by the door and moving toward his bedroom.
"Did he tell you?"
Gyuvin stops, turning to Yujin with such quickness it makes him dizzy. "You knew?"
"It was an accident." Yujin tries to clarify but Gyuvin is reeling, unfocused on the words. "I saw the letter on his desk."
"Fuck, Yujin, seriously? Why wouldn't you tell me?" Gyuvin's voice tears through the living room. He can feel the red in his face, can hear the blood rushing through his ears. He isn't just angry, he's hopeless. He's confused. This can't really be happening.
Yujin's voice is horribly soft in return. "He told me not to. I'm sorry."
Gyuvin can't get anything out. His words are caught in his chest, clogging up the space around his heart. He feels the hurt beneath his skin, hot like the burn behind his eyes.
"Gyuvin, I'm sorry ." Yujin's calls fall on deaf ears. Gyuvin needs to be by himself, he thinks. He needs room to breathe.
He's hoarded in his bedroom long enough for Yujin to knock on the door, hesitantly pushing it open.
"Mom cooked. It's your favorite." He steps in, every step cautious. "I told her you probably didn't want to eat at the table, so I brought you a plate."
Gyuvin doesn't move, back facing the door and the blanket pulled to his chin. "I'm not hungry."
"Okay, sorry." The plate clinks against his desk anyway. Gyuvin hears Yujin's steps retreat, stopping just before he shuts the door. "Love you."
Gyuvin squeezes his eyes shut. "Wait, Yujin."
It’s a chore to lift his body to sit, turning to face his brother. Yujin is staring with his wide eyes, all-knowing and kind.
"Will you eat with me?"
The relief is palpable, tension leaving Yujin's shoulders as he nods. "Okay. I'll be right back."
He brings his own plate to Gyuvin's room, settling at his desk. It's quiet, but not uncomfortably so.
The food is good at least, Gyuvin thinks, swallowing it down with his heartache.
"I'll miss him too, you know." Yujin says then. He hasn't looked at Gyuvin since he came back into the room. "I know it hurts differently for you, but that doesn't mean you're the only one feeling it."
"I know." Gyuvin forces the words out, gravelly and tired. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."
Yujin nods slowly, like he's taking the words in. "It's okay. I just wanted to tell you that."
Yujin takes their dishes to the kitchen and the rest of summer passes by that way. Here and then gone, with August poking and prodding at Gyuvin mockingly.
He'd opted out of living on campus, so he had nothing to do but mope until classes started. When asked, he'd told his mom he'd just stay home because packing and moving wasn't worth it, but really, he doesn't want to leave Yujin.
The boy in question is at the edge of his bed now, shaking him awake by the shoulder. “Come here.”
Eyes blinking open, Gyuvin lets the room come into focus. He doesn't know how long he's been asleep, only that he'd missed dinner judging by the cold plate on his desk.
Yujin is gone by the time he finds the strength to get up, wandering into the living room in search of what he could be needed for. He isn't sure what to make of Ricky sitting on his couch, standing when he sees Gyuvin.
"Were you sleeping?" He asks, words hushed as ever.
"I was." Gyuvin replies and waits for Ricky to cough out why he's here. He doesn't really want to make conversation about the weather or how Gyuvin has been.
Ricky nods, hands clasped in front of him. "Can we talk?"
For the first time, Ricky looks uncomfortable in Gyuvin's room. Like he isn't sure where to step so as to not set Gyuvin off.
"Just sit down." Gyuvin huffs out, patting the spot next to him on the bed.
Ricky sits a little closer than he probably should, but Gyuvin doesn't move. If anything, he soaks it up, even selfishly wishes Ricky could be closer.
"I'm sorry." Ricky starts, then, "I fly out tomorrow morning."
"Oh." Gyuvin's hands shake. "So, you're, like, saying goodbye then."
Ricky nods. "I was hoping you'd let me stay over."
"Sure. Yeah." Gyuvin couldn't say no, even if that's what he wanted. He crawls further into the bed and pulls back the blanket for Ricky, who makes a home for himself underneath Gyuvin's arm.
Gyuvin feels vulnerable, head open for Ricky to pick at his thoughts. He doesn't break the silence just yet, unsure what to say. Or, really, unsure how to start. He could spill half of what he feels to Ricky and they're still wouldn’t be enough time.
Before he loses the courage to say anything at all, he takes a deep breath.
"My heart used to sit right here," Gyuvin's words filter through the air like smoke, dissipating between them. He takes Ricky's hand in his, laying it on his chest.
Ricky hums. Gyuvin feels the vibration where Ricky's head lays on his shoulder. "Where is it now?"
The moonlight shifts with the wind, the open window blowing the curtain toward them. The glow falls on Ricky's hand when Gyuvin flips it palm up, tapping the center. "Right here," He whispers, shaking fingers closing Ricky's hand into a fist. "You'll take it to California with you."
"You should keep it." Ricky murmurs, opening his hand again.
"It's not mine to keep." Gyuvin admits. "It hasn't been for a while, I think."
"I'll call you all the time." Ricky assures, pressing their palms together.
Gyuvin closes his eyes, zeroing in on feeling every part of Ricky against him. "I know."
Ricky sighs, a soft sound that Gyuvin could try to decipher, but it's better unknown. "It's not about that though. Right?"
"No. It isn't."
They almost had it. That's what stings the worst. Gyuvin was so, so close. He hadn't believed Yujin when he said he was running out of time, and he'd caused his own hurt as a result.
It isn't about calling Ricky, or loading up his usb of pictures he'll take for Gyuvin, the scenery and his art and his selfies in front of the autumn trees.
It's that the distance between them will always feel further than it really is when Gyuvin can't reach him. He doesn't want to think about how long it could be before he gets another chance like the lapsed moment at the creek.
He pretends not to wake up when Ricky leaves in the morning. It's better this way, he thinks. Otherwise, he's not sure if he'd be able to let Ricky go.
The warm press of lips against his cheek is worth it. Ricky said he'd call. He'd grown used to Ricky disappearing throughout school and hopes this will be no different. Gyuvin will just wait, like he's done for so long already. He should be good at it by now. So, he lets him go.