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Everyone knew a bored Chester was a menace.
This was why they had game consoles on the tour bus (and for themselves of course), movies, books, comics, laptops and tablets, even board games and cards, anything to keep all of them from losing their minds during the weeks they spent on the road.
But mostly Chester.
It wasn't that bad this tour though, they have been finding ways to keep themselves entertained on the long drives between cities. Mike had brought a series of books he wanted to get through, and while occasional insomnia on the tour bus was nothing fun, at least he had peace and quiet while everyone was asleep in their bunks.
Except when he slipped out of his bunk to tiptoe to the couch, it was already occupied.
“Can't sleep?” Mike asked.
Chester looked up from the magazine he had been reading, “nope, my brain is a bit loud today.” He pulled his feet up so that he was only taking up a corner of the couch, instead of the entire thing like he had been. “You?”
“It always takes me a little while to adjust to the bus again.” Mike shrugged, “I have some books though.”
Chester gestured to the other side of the couch, “well then pull up a seat.”
Mike nodded and sat down, opening the novel to his bookmark and getting started on the newest chapter, ready to get lost in the story.
They sat like that and companionable silence for a while, the only noise the turn of book and magazine pages, until Chester sat up straight and nudged Mike with his foot.
“You know how magazines have, like, different quizzes and stuff?” He asked.
Mike didn't look up from his book, “mmhmm.”
“Do this one with me.”
“I don't know man, those things are ridiculous.”
“Please?” he looked up to see Chester pouting at him, “I'm so bored, I promise I'll try to go to sleep after this.”
Mike sighed and put his bookmark in place before laying it to the side, “alright, what do you got?”
Chester smiled and cleared his throat.
“Question one, do you shave your legs?”
“What?” A surprised laugh burst out of Mike, quickly muffling it to not wake up the others.
“Do you shave your legs?” Chester asked seriously.
“No, I don't. What a weird question…” Mike chucked.
“Question two,” Chester continued, “do you play soccer?”
“You know I do,” Mike said, he knew for a fact he had a couple of pictures of when they had played with Dave.
“Question three, are you always wearing flannel?”
“Not always,” Mike felt a small bit of heat rise to his cheeks.
“You're literally wearing flannel right now.” Chester pointed out.
“They're pajama bottoms!” Mike said defensively.
“Still flannel, I know you have at least five in your suitcase.” Chester laughed.
“Next question.” Mike rolled his eyes.
Chester looked back at the magazine “Question four, do you keep your nails short?”
Mike frowned, “this is a weird quiz.”
Chester looked back up at him, “answer the question Mikey.”
“Well… yeah.” Mike said, “I keep them short for my guitar.”
“Hmm, I'm sure that's the only reason.” Chester murmured, “alright, question five, do you prefer baggy clothes?”
“Sure?”
He nodded seriously. “Question six, do you have a bunch of cats?”
“You know I'm allergic!”
“Fine, fine, last question.” Chester squinted at him, “question seven, do you prefer short hair over long?”
“Yeah,” Mike answered, “haven't had my spikes in a while, too much upkeep.”
Chester nodded, “alright, so it says here….” He smiled, “ready for the results?”
“Yes!” Mike said, wondering if he would ever get back to his book.
“I am happy to inform you,” Chester couldn't hold back a grin, “that you're a lesbian.”
Mike stared at him nonplussed, “what?”
“You're a lesbian,” Chester repeated, “according to the quiz. Makes a lot of sense, really.”
“I am a man.” Mike retorted.
“And are you attracted to women?” Chester asked.
“Yeah, I like women-”
“See! Lesbian!”
“I'm straight! I'm married!” Mike protested.
“Married to a woman!” Chester crowed, “see? I knew it!”
“You are also attracted to women,” Mike pointed out, “and married to a woman, does that make you a lesbian?”
“Hell yes!” Chester grinned, “oh I can't wait to tell Tal, she'll be thrilled.”
“Chester, no.”
“We could experiment more with her stra-”
“I do not want to know.” Mike groaned.
“Oh come on, Anna will love it!” Chester told him, “We could trade tips on positions and-”
“I AM A STRAIGHT MAN!” Mike shouted.
“OH ARE YOU!?” Brad yelled from his bunk, “GOOD FOR YOU! NOW GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!”
Mike went quiet and Chester clamped a hand over his own mouth, eyes wide behind his glasses.
They didn't dare move for a while, listening to Rob's uninterrupted snoring and the rhythmic breathing of their bandmates.
“Oh fuck,” Mike whispered after a few long moments.
“Big Bad Brad has been awakened.” Chester whispered back, “we are so going to hear about this in the morning.”
“He's gonna find a way to punish us.” Mike said with a nod.
“He won't let me have my coffee!” Chester whispered in a panic, “I love coffee! It's my ultimate weakness on the road!”
“No… that would be punishment for everyone,” Mike frowned, “maybe if we just go to bed he'll think it was a dream.”
Chester nodded and stood, throwing the magazine down on the couch as he stretched, “I promised I would go to bed after the quiz anyway.” He said, “Sleep tight Mikey.”
“Good night,” Mike watched as Chester crawled into his bunk before turning off the lights to go back to his own.
Everything was quiet and Mike closed his eyes, attempting to drift off, when he felt his phone quietly buzz by him.
ChazzyChaz
Do you think Phoenix and Braddles are lesbians too?
Joe doesn't fit the quiz
But what about Robbie?
He should ignore it, pretend he didn't see, but that didn't stop him from responding.
Dave definitely, Brad and Joe no, and Rob likes playing with his sticks. ;)
A small laugh sounded from the bunk across the aisle, quickly smothered.
Mike sighed but couldn't help but smile, there was no way he was sleeping tonight.
It was worth it.