Chapter Text
When it became routine for Will Gardner and Alicia Florrick to spend weekends together –– Alicia did not know.
And she didn’t want to question it either.
Letting things flow is a relatively new concept for her, and yet, Alicia has found she enjoys being in this state of suspension. It halted the part of her brain that overthinks things.
Overanalyzing the time they’ve spent together was a thread she was reluctant to unravel.
But as it stood –– when her children were with their father, the lawyer found herself at Will’s apartment.
Friday night finds the pair lounging on the couch. Alicia’s laid up under his arm, watching a movie they found while channel surfing, with take-out cartons spread out in front of them on the coffee table.
So comfortable is she, soothed by the warmth radiating from Will’s chest steadily moving underneath her head as he breathes. The feeling of his fingertips gently scratching down her arm, and thoroughly entertained by the silly movie, Alicia hadn’t realized he was no longer paying attention.
“Kelly just emailed me our itinerary for next week.”
She turns her head to look up at him, only to find him with his BlackBerry in hand.
“Huh?” Alicia asks dully –– her brain a bit slow on the uptake.
Her brows knit together in mild confusion, and Will gives her a small smirk, charmed.
“We’re meeting Ashbaugh next week, New York,” he supplies for her.
Oh, right. Understanding finally dawning on her.
The last thing on Alicia Florrick’s mind that night was Matthew Ashbaugh. She had not thought about work since she left Lockhart/Gardner for the evening. And when she crossed the threshold into Will’s apartment, and he kissed her before she had even set her bags down, any lingering thoughts pertaining to real world events that she might have had, were gone too.
Alicia thinks about her phone on Will’s dining table, but makes no move to get up and get it. “I guess she’s emailed me too, right?”
Will nods, “We’re all set for next Thursday. Plane takes off at 7AM.”
Alicia crinkles her nose in disapproval. “That’s so early,” she grumbles, not looking forward to the 4 o'clock wake up time to make their flight.
“Ashbaugh expects us there at Noon,” Will says. His tone perfunctory, giving way to his own lack of enthusiasm over the early hour.
Matthew Ashbaugh was a mystery inside an enigma, and by far their firm's strangest client. But was he really as strange as he purported himself to be or was it all an act, Alicia couldn’t figure him out. His oddity was off-putting, with most people at their office tending to steer clear of the older man unless they absolutely had to. But she had been stuck with him, and in turn he had fixated on her. Alicia didn’t dislike him, she just didn’t understand him.
Nevertheless, this was a fact her co-worker David Lee intended to exploit as they drew up his will.
“Ashbaugh’s kind of… interesting, isn’t he?” She voices out loud.
Will chuckles, meeting her gaze. “You get used to it after a while. And then you just expect the weirdness.”
Ashbaugh was suing The Board of Directors of his company for wrongful termination. They claimed his erratic behavior was costing the business’s reputation, though the older man did not agree. Alicia, already part of several other litigations involving Matthew Ashbaugh, had been pulled from one of those pending lawsuits, after he specifically requested she be part of his legal council on this case as well.
“But hey,” Will continues, “He likes you, that’s a good thing. Ashbaugh doesn’t like anybody.”
Alicia’s lips curl, “Sure. He’s just kind of intense.”
“Is he making you uncomfortable?” Will frowns. “I can take you–”
“No, no,” she says quickly as she shakes her head, “I’m okay. It was just an observation.”
Will relaxes somewhat into the couch cushions once again, “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Alicia responds. She leans up to kiss the underside of his cheek. “I can handle Matthew Ashbaugh.”
“This should all be over soon anyway, right?” She rubs a soft hand over his chest as they return their focus back to the television.
After a few seconds of silence, Alicia says, “Thank you for looking out for me.”
Will says nothing, instead he presses his lips to the top of her head and Alicia closes her eyes. Suddenly full of an emotion she can’t name, but the feeling blooms from her chest and catches in her throat. If she wasn’t such a coward, Alicia might have told Will just how safe she felt with him in that moment. But she feared acknowledging this, might bring something forward she’s purposely shuffled to the depths of her mind.
Alicia waits for the swelling of unshed tears to pass before opening her eyes again, and she’s grateful Will isn’t looking at her, she did not want to explain why her green eyes were suddenly red.
She tries to distract herself from her thoughts by tuning back into the movie but she’s no longer interested in the antics of Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas in Romancing the Stone.
And apparently, neither is Will.
“I was thinking,” the other lawyer starts. “Maybe we can take some time off… together,” he says slowly.
Alicia can tell he’s trying to be mindful of the words he’s using, but she still stiffens under his arm, and the words make her ears ring.
She pulls away from him then, though she immediately craves being back in his space. Gaping at him, Alicia just asks, “What?”
“Uh, not a long time.” Will is quick to clarify, already seeing the storm brewing behind her eyes.
One thing Will Gardner has never forgotten from their days at Georgetown Law School –– and there’s a lot of things about her that he remembers –– was how to spot an Alicia spiral when presented with a situation she was not sure how to react to. He had anticipated this, so he lays it out for her.
“You have some time off coming up, and I can’t remember the last time I took a real vacation… why don’t we take a week off after we finish with Ashbaugh’s deposition?”
Alicia is shaking her head before he is even done speaking.
“A week,” she scoffs incredulously. “Will, I can’t take a week off… I’ve got kids.”
Will purses his lips, letting out a soft sigh, “Leesh, I’m sorry. I–”
The old moniker slips so easily from his lips, they sit stock-still as it rattles around in their brains. It’s been quite a while since Alicia’s heard that name, Will’s the only person who has ever called her. And Had it come from anyone else, she might have hated it but it was endearing. Though, now, it just reminded her of a young woman she barely knew.
Alicia leans over and kisses him, “I’d love to go away with you for a week. And in a perfect world, I might,” she huffs out a breath, pulling back. “But I can’t.”
Not for a whole week.
There were enough rumors about them swirling around Lockhart/Gardner already, Alicia didn’t want to give their co-workers any more fodder to spread around… even if some of those rumors were technically true. Besides, she also worried what a week away from her children would do to them if they had to spend more time with Jackie Florrick than they had too. A part of her feared she might not recognize them when she got back.
Still, the thought of going away with Will was very tempting.
“Alright,” Will says, the wheels already turning in his head. One of the things that made him such a formidable lawyer was his ability to think quickly on his feet, and this time was no different.
He saw an opportunity and he was going to take it.
“How about four days?” Will asks. “Two of those days will be mostly spent working. But come Saturday, don’t leave. Stay with me in New York.”
Alicia ponders his request seriously.
The idea of spending time with Will, in a different city and away from their familiars in Chicago was… thrilling. The Big Apple offered them a freedom they couldn’t get in The Windy City –– no one cares who she is over there. They could exist outside of the confines of Will’s apartment and the random hotel rooms in the middle of the day.
“Just give me four days, Alicia. That’s all I ask.”
“Okay,” Alicia nods, her mind made up. “I can do four.”
––
Thursday dawned way too early for Will and Alicia… and she was far more irritable about it than she cared to admit. The only upside to being at O’Hare so early in the morning is the light crowd. She fully planned on sleeping on the plane.
Sleep eluded her the night before, her mind focused on the weekend ahead.
Their client had turned into a convenient excuse after Will’s proposition to extend their trip, and though Alicia tried not to lose sight of the real reason why they were going to New York in the first place, she couldn’t help the flutters of excitement that erupted in her stomach as their departure date neared.
Unfortunately for her and much to her ire, the lawyer would not get any sleep on the plane at all. The turbulence they hit was enough to keep Alicia awake for the full three and a half hour flight.
And to make matters worse, Kelly, Will’s assistant, had not sat them together. Ill-fated to sit on opposite sides of the aisle, it was a special kind of torture she had not foreseen. They were separated by a family of five who, understandably, did not want to split up.
The attorney’s were supposed to meet Matthew Ashbaugh for lunch at his brownstone in Williamsburg, so they headed straight there from Laguardia airport.
What started out as a long day, would only get longer. And had Alicia not been so tired she would have known exactly the kind of a day they were in for, the moment she heard the loud Bach playing throughout the older man’s home when they stepped through the door.
Ashbaugh was less than amenable during their meeting, but he was never an easy client to begin with. He insisted they eat in silence before they got to work, and when they finally got to the actual prepping portion of their meeting, he’d vacillate between random stints of pacing, side tangents of government conspiracy theories, and Bach fun facts.
Simply put, Alicia thought getting her kids to focus on a task while they were toddlers was easier than trying to get the grown man to cooperate.
“It’s all conspiratorial, they have nothing on me,” the older man huffed. “These allegations are totally bogus. Erratic be–” he scoffs in disdain. “They just want to get rid of me.”
“And I agree, sir.” Will says calmly. “Which is why you can’t give them more ammunition to use against you.”
By the time their day was over, it was well into the night.
When they finally made it to their hotel room –– or suite –– Alicia had just enough wherewithal for a hot shower before going straight to bed.
Will, however, had other ideas.
The man was positively giddy as he gave her a tour of their suite, pointing out all the great amenities, like the deluxe open concept living room, extra large bedroom with a desk and sitting area, private access to their own terrace and a luxurious bathroom that housed a tub and shower.
Will was proud of himself for finding this place, the room was gorgeous and it felt more like an apartment than a hotel suite. But what really sold him on the idea was the panoramic views of New York City they would get out of their floor to ceiling windows.
He hadn’t hesitated in charging it to his Amex card.
“You said there’s a tub?” Alicia asks as he wraps his arms around her and she melts into his body as he sways them.
They’re standing in the living room taking in the splendor of the city, every skyscraper brilliantly lit. It was a view that was only rivaled by the one back home but it was no less breathtaking.
Will nuzzles her shoulder, pushing her hair aside with his nose, “Yes,” he answers.
And that’s exactly what Alicia needed. She turns around and locks her arms around his neck, “Would you like some wine? The fridge is stocked.” He says.
“A silly question,” she pecks his lips. “Of course I want wine.”
“On it,” he chuckles.
Will goes off into the kitchen and Alicia moves in the direction of the bedroom.
She rummages through her luggage in search of her body wash before moving on into the en-suite to start the water.
Alicia had only just settled back into the warm water, the fusion of peony and rosewater instantly loosening the tightening in her shoulders, when Will’s voice calls her back into the room.
“You like Pinot Noir, right? He asks, placing the wine glasses on the counter and uncorking the bottle.
“I do,” She gives him an approving smile.
Alicia reaches for the glass he’s offering but stops short, a frown marring her features. “You’re too dressed.”
Her eyes scan over his body, his suit jacket and shoes were gone, but he was still wearing his white button down and trousers.
Will arches a brow, “You want me to come in there?”
Alicia lays her head on the edge of the tub, looking up at him through tired yet adoring green eyes, “Yes,” she breathes out. “I’ve barely touched you all day.”
The smirk that overtakes the man’s face almost threatens to split it in two. He’d always enjoyed this version of Alicia… the tired, flirty, no filter Alicia. He would do just about anything she wanted, whether it’d be in this state or otherwise.
Will makes quick work to divest himself of the rest of his clothes, not needing much prompting and she scoots forward so he could get in behind her.
Alicia sinks into his chest once he’s comfortable, and he wraps one arm around her stomach, while reaching with his other hand for the drink she’s holding up to him.
Alicia’s eyes flutter closed –– totally soothed by the quiet in the room. They’re so high up, that the noise from the streets below don’t reach them. If she turned her head and opened her eyes, she’d be met with a stunning view of the Hudson River reflecting the light of the surrounding buildings.
“This is a step up from anything we ever got at Safeway,” Will says, after taking a sip of his wine.
Her lips pull upwards, but she doesn’t open her eyes. Alicia rarely lets herself think about Law School, storing those memories in a lockbox deep in her mind. Thoughts of Georgetown always seem to lead her down a path of regret… and while she knows there are things in her present she would not change, there are others things that she would.
Since starting this… whatever it was , with Will again, however, it wasn’t so much regret that she feels for the past but more of a sense of fondness. It helps that Will recalls their past so reverently.
She wants to know what else he remembers.
Alicia squeaks out a laugh, opening her eyes then, “What? Bartles and Jaymes didn’t do it for you?”
“Are you kidding?” Will snorts, “I think they did too much, that was the problem.”
“Will Gardner, always a man of such refined taste.”
He clicks his tongue, “I liked you didn’t I?”
Alicia rolls her eyes at the cheesy line, but doesn’t beat back the smile from her face.
A peaceful calm washes over them as they drink their wine, and she relaxes further into his hold. Alicia’s comforted by the combination of the chill that permeates the air, the warm water, and Will’s slow kisses as they caress her parts of her body.
The atmosphere changes into something charged then, and suddenly she doesn’t feel so tired anymore.
“Will,” She sighs, turning her head to lock eyes with him, and he’s looking at her with eyes clouded with need.
When he dips his head to connect their lips, her skin tingles with avidity and she mewls into his mouth. Alicia bites at his bottom lip as he grows thicker behind her.
The tub doesn’t give them much space to maneuver but she manages to turn around to mount his lap.
He brings them together and she stutters out a breath as he easily slips inside her. Alicia’s eyes mist over instantly at how good being full of him feels. She’s overcome, suddenly –– by what , she refuses to decide. It could have been from their incredibly long day or the weight of the feelings she’s been trying so hard to suppress. She knows which choice is safer but she also knows no one else has come close to this feeling before.
Alicia drops her head onto his shoulder, “Wait,” she hears herself say.
Will palms her back smoothly, “We don’t hav– ” is what he starts to say but she cuts off his words by locking her knees around him.
“No,” she shakes her head. “Just… don’t move. Not yet.”
She brushes her lips over his collarbone, then inches back to meet his gaze again, “I wanted to feel you first. Just like this, is all,” she adds.
Will gives her a tender look, eyes glazed over with affection. “Okay,” he presses his lips to her forehead, happy to oblige in whatever she asks.
––
Will and Alicia’s Friday started out much better than the day before.
The lawyers weren’t due to meet Ashbaugh again until lunch later, so they took advantage of their free morning by extending their stay in bed. The butterfly kisses Will peppered along Alicia’s skin as he went down on her were far better than her old alarm clock.
By the time they were ready to move on from the bed to the couch on the terrace to eat their breakfast, the sun was shining up in the sky and the city below was fully buzzing with life.
“You know,” Alicia starts, looking out at their surroundings. “I’m very partial to the view of the river from the balcony of your apartment,” she blows at her coffee before bringing the brew closer to her lips. “But this isn’t half bad, " she winks at him, covering her cheeky smile with her mug.
Will laughs as he takes a bite of his bagel and lox, “I’m sure, it’s a tough call,” he says.
The pair had dinner reservations after they were finished with their client, though Will wouldn’t tell Alicia where they were going or what they were doing after. In spite of the air of mystery surrounding their night, she was very much looking forward to it.
Alicia hesitated to call it a date.
Though, that’s what it was wasn’t it?
It was a date .
Surely, she felt all the familiar stirrings that came along with it… the frisson excitement, the nervousness, the belly flips. All things she hasn’t felt in a long time and were not unwelcome.
The two have had countless dinners together at this point –– all inside his apartment or hers. But they’ve never been out on an actual date before, and she was secretly eager to find out.
Alicia would never admit it out loud, but she recalls the bouts of jealousy she felt when Will was seeing Tammy. All the time they’d spent together when it was only supposed to be casual… of the way she was free to talk about him, to touch him.
“Alicia,” Will’s voice snaps her back into the present, and she shifts her gaze to look at him.
“You okay?” He asks, “You got a little lost there for a second.”
“Oh,” she breathes out. “Yes, I’m alright.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Where are you taking me?”
They both say at the same time and Will’s lips pull up into a smirk, “Eager, aren’t we?”
Alicia rolls her eyes, but decides to be honest, putting the other woman to the back of her mind. “Yes,” she answers definitively. “Suddenly, I don’t like suspense.”
He snorts and raises a challenging brow, “You could just let me surprise you.”
“I’ve had one surprise to many,” she counters.
Alicia doesn’t elaborate on what she means, but they both know what she’s referring to anyway.
Will softens but doesn’t budge, sealing his lips with an impish smile.
She frowns at his resistance. “Okay,” the lawyer starts slowly, changing tactics. “What if… I wanted to know that what I packed to wear tonight is appropriate for what we’re doing?”
Will hums, nodding as if seriously considering her inquiry. He’s never known Alicia to be anything but meticulously appropriately dressed.
He tugs at her legs to slide her closer into his side, the swift motion making her bubble up in laughter.
“I know what you’re doing,” Will says, narrowing his eyes playfully. “And you’re not going to get it. You’re going to have to wait and see tonight.”
“Besides,” he adds, “I’ve seen what you wear to work. I’m sure whatever you choose will be more than appropriate.”
Alicia tilts her head, jutting her chin, “Is this your way of telling me you like what I wear to work?” She leans into his face, eyes searching.
“If I say yes, will it go to your head?”
“Oh, it’s definitely going to my head.”
Will barks out a laugh before he kisses her.
Nothing about their day, however, had gone the way Will had planned it –– and he was not happy.
Matthew Ashbaugh’s fuse was even shorter today than it had been on thursday. The man constantly pushed back on any advice they tried to give him, working them through lunch and way past their dinner reservation.
In the end, it was Alicia who managed to convince Matthew to comply. Even after he threatened to fire them, though, if he had , she didn’t think it would have been the worst thing in the world.
Alicia lets out a heavy breath, turning her head to take in Will’s handsome brooding face as their car drives them back to their hotel. He was sulking, and she couldn’t blame him, she was just as upset about their night being ruined as he was. If they had left when they were supposed to at 4:00 PM, they would have had plenty of time to comfortably get ready for their evening, it was the one thing that made seeing Ashbaugh again more bearable.
“Hey Mark,” Alicia says suddenly, getting an idea. “Can you drop us off here?”
Will, who’s been quite the entire ride since they left the Brooklyn brownstone, snaps his head in her direction. “Alicia, what are you doing?”
She ignores him, opening the door and hopping out of the car.
“Why are we stopping?” He eye’s their driver in the rearview mirror and the other man just shrugs.
“C’mon,” Alicia urges. “And thank you Mark,” she says to the man behind the wheel.
“It’s ten o’clock,” Will huffs, annoyed.
Alicia’s eyes roll upwards, “Get out of the car, Will.” She turns on her heels and heads for the sidewalk giving him no choice but to go after her.
They watch as the car pulls off, and turn a corner.
“Well,” Will starts. “Now what?”
Manhattan is as densely packed as ever, but it’s less crowded where they’re standing, therefore they’re not in anyone’s way. “Why did you make us get off?”
Alicia points towards a building behind them a few streets down, “You see that tower over there?” At his nod, she continues, “That’s our hotel, we can walk there, it's just a few miles down the road.”
“Alright,” Will drawls, “But I’m still not following.”
She walks away from him, surprisingly fast on uneven sidewalk and stiletto heels. And again, he has no choice but to chase after her.
“You really have to stop doing that,” Will says once he catches up.
“I’m hungry,” Alicia responds.
He looks towards the window of the shop she had stopped in front of. Famous Ben’s Pizza.
“You want pizza?” Will asks in bemusement.
Alicia shrugs nonchalantly, “When in Rome, right? Or in our case, New York.”
The shop sits on a corner, bordering what would have typically been a busy street had it not been for the late hour.
“Look, I know tonight sucked.” Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best way to start that sentence, she thinks as her teeth graze her bottom lip. But she just wanted to lighten Will’s mood.
Alicia recognizes he’s better at giving big speeches than she is, but he’s just going to have to deal with whatever comes out of her mouth next. “It doesn’t have to end that way,” she continues, “I want to at least salvage whatever is left of tonight and lucky for us we’re in the perfect city to make that happen. I’ll put a curse on Ashbaugh’s bloodline later if it’ll make you feel better.”
That wasn’t terrible , she gives herself a little mental pat on the back.
And it seems to do the trick because Will bursts out into a genuine belly laugh, and Alicia beams at him as she watches his face morph from sullen to something more congenial.
She couldn’t fix tonight for them –– their first real opportunity for a proper dinner was once again ruined by forces outside of their control, but Will was an old romantic at heart, she knew how much he wanted tonight to go well. She was also acutely aware of how much he wanted to woo her. Though if she were being honest with herself, she’d admit he’d done that long ago.
As for where they were, Alicia had spotted the restaurant on one of their commutes to Ashbaugh’s home and she remembered it on a whim. It felt simple, rather spontaneous to ask their driver to drop them off. Plus, she really was hungry.
Alicia pulls at his tie, bringing him closer into her space, “Now buy me a slice of pizza,” she says, chastley pecking at his lips.
Ben’s was homey with brown wooden finishes and old decor that seemed to come straight out of the 1970s. However, no one seemed to care about aesthetics because in spite of how late it was, there was a line of customers almost out the door waiting to be serviced.
The servers made quick work to dispatch most of their patrons orders so they didn’t have to wait long before it was their turn to order at the counter. While the place itself didn’t give much by way of decor, it did so in the array of pizzas there was to choose from.
“So much for wining and dining,” Will grumbles as they sit at a table with their three-dollar cheese slices and sodas.
“I don’t know about that,” Alicia says slowly, lightly kicking under the table and trapping him with her leg. “They’ve been nominated best Scillian pizza in New York.”
After Will’s blank stare she adds, “It says so on the window,” she gives him a toothy grin before taking a bite of her food.
Then nodding at his plate, “Just eat, I know it’s not what you had in mind but– ”
“Funny how that always seems to happen,” Will folds his slice of pizza in half, bringing it to his mouth but stops short of tasting it. “What’s that old saying, man plans and God laughs?” And then, “Okay, this is good,” he acquiesces after finally biting into the cheesy goodness.
Alicia gives him a tight lipped smile, pleased. “Only the best for you,” she quips, and she’s enchanted by the chime of laughter she gets in response. Relieved to see Will sound more like himself.
When they’re done with their quick dinner, she holds out her hands for the man to take to pull him up from the chair.
“Do you want to grab some to go?”
“You’re still hungry?”
Alicia shakes her head, “No, but we could have pizza for breakfast.”
Will makes a face at that, “I haven’t had pizza for breakfast since college, but I think I’ll draw the line at that.”
It never occurs to Alicia to drop his hand once they’re outside, and Will had no intention of letting go either. Instead, he entwines their fingers, tightening his hold on her hand as he leads the way back to their hotel.
Though simple, back in Chicago, Alicia would have shied away from this kind of affection in public. In fact, they didn’t do this at all over there.
Between the feeling of his warm hand in hers now, and the way he held her back at the pizza shop as they moved up in line while they waited to order… Alicia is afraid she was going to miss these simple pleasures when they got home. Maybe it should have worried her how quickly she had gotten used to being with Will like this, but it doesn’t.
Alicia’s hot under her coat by the time they reach the doorman, the unexacting action making her vibrate from within, bringing a pleasant smile to her face she couldn’t wipe away.
There weren’t many people hanging out in the dimly lit lobby, and having been so busy in the last two days, she’d been unable to truly appreciate the grandeur of the hotel, which was quite spectacular.
Alicia looks around the lavish main floor –– sleek and modern, with soaring double height ceilings and columns so tall she had to crane her neck up to fully take them in. As her heels echo against the marble floors as they approach the elevator, she’s touched by Will’s attention to detail. That he would settle on a place specifically with her in mind. Though after spending nearly two decades being bought for the sake of complacency, she would have stayed with Will anywhere.
The exhaustion of the past 48-hours finally catches up to them in the elevator as they ride up to their suite on the 44th floor. Alicia drapes herself over Will and in turn the man presses his nose into her hair, hugging her closer to him.
“Alicia,” Will starts, as the door to their suite closes behind him.
She turns around just as he steps up behind her, “Shower?” She asks instead.
Alicia doesn’t wait for him to answer, taking a step away from him to remove her coat then blazer, placing it on the back of the couch. She reaches over to flick at his tie, and Will breathes out a low chuckle. He undoes the garment and then takes his jacket off, putting them on the couch as well.
Will once called what they had bad timing , but Alicia didn’t want to dwell on that at the moment. As apprehensive as she had been, initially, to take the extra time off to be with him here, she was determined to make full use of it. And to her, that meant not lamenting things that didn’t happen. Their window of freedom, to just be Will and Alicia , was already so small.
She takes her heels off, carrying them into the bedroom and dropping them next to her suitcase.
In the bathroom, Will turns on the tap. “Hot?” he asks.
“Is there any other way?” Alicia wags her eyebrows suggestively, “Unzip me,” she says, turning her back towards him.
Will lets go of the glass door, stepping up behind her. He moves her hair to the side, replacing it with his lips.
“You’re supposed to be helping,” Alicia mutters, his nose tickling her neck.
“I am,” Will rumbles lowly, sinking his teeth gently into her shoulder as he pulls at the zipper of her dress, and it pools at her feet.
Alicia turns around to face him, casting her eyes over his body. “Well, this is just unfair,” she tells him. Looking down at herself, and then back at Will, she decides, “You need to catch up.”
Her laughter reverberates through the space of the bathroom, as she disappears into the fog.
Will wastes no time in ditching the rest of his clothes before going after her.
“Hello,” he says, the timber of his voice rich and smooth as water rains over them.
Alicia gives him a broad smile, “Hi,” she says, eyes sparkling.
Will caresses her nose with his and she closes her eyes just as their lips deliciously meet.
When she opens them again, he’s looking at her with such ardor it leaves Alicia breathless. Will holds her gaze, steady and unflinchingly. She opens her mouth as if to speak but no words come out, and her heart feels heavy as it pounds, threatening to beat right out of her chest.
Alicia takes a step back but collides with the wall behind her –– she hadn’t even realized she was so close to it. But she’s grateful to be between the wall and Will’s body because her knees felt suddenly weak.
When he kisses her again, it’s just as sweet as it was moments ago and her eyes sting but it’s not from the heat of the water or the fog.
“Alicia.” Will sighs, his thumb caressing the underside of her cheek.
The way he’s staring at her now, with brown eyes tender and glowing –– like he’d give her the moon if only she would ask for it. It’s a look Alicia recognizes. It’s the same look Will Gardner has always given her. It’s boundless and reverent and full of love.
For a split second, her mind conjures up a version of them at Georgetown, and she recalls just how much that look used to scare her then . Because how can someone that young love so deeply?
23 year-old Alicia Cavanaugh could not wrap her head around it. Unsure of how to unpack or even voice her own feelings for him, her insecurities got the better of her and caused her to run. She remembers being uncertain about so many things in Law School, and Will Gardner was definitely one of them.
Now , Alicia realizes that look still scares her but for entirely different reasons. It scares her because she can’t hide her feelings in the lockbox she’s constructed inside her mind –– not when he’s looking at like that . It scares her because she doesn’t want to . It scares her because she so badly wants to live inside that look and with everything that comes along with it, everyone else be damned.
And yet… she still can’t bring herself to say it.
Instead –– Alicia takes Will’s hand from her cheek, kisses his palm, and then places it over her rapidly beating heart.
“I know,” she breathes out softly.
––
Later, Alicia wakes up alone.
Stirred by a draft moving through the room, and unable to steal any of Will’s warmth.
She turns over only to be met by cold sheets. How long has he been gone?
Alicia rises up on her elbows, eyes roving as they adjust to the darkness. She listens out for any sign of him. Sitting up, she catches sight of the top of his dark brown hair through the window, a skyscraper light bouncing off the crown of his head.
She moves out of bed, pulling the comforter with her and wraps it around her shoulders.
Alicia stands at the sliding door, observing him as looks out into the night sky, lost in thought.
Will whirls around at the sound of the door creaking open.
“Hey.” Alicia says, walking out onto the terrace, wrapping the bedding tighter around herself to ward off the cold chill.
She sits in his lap and his hand holds her steady at the waist. “You’re thinking too hard.”
“Yeah?” Will looks off for a moment before making eye contact again, “Did I wake you?”
Alicia shakes her head, “No. But what are you doing out here, it’s cold.” She tucks part of the comforter around him as best as she can in the small armchair.
Will holds up his other hand to show her the amber drink he’d been leisurely consuming, and she rolls her eyes. Well, Alicia thinks, that’s one way to keep warm , however illusionary.
“I was thinking– ” He starts before she cuts him off.
“No kidding!” the woman gives him a teasing smile, “I could hear you all the way in there,” she nods towards the room and Will squeezes her side playfully, making her squirm.
“Quit it,” she giggles, taking the glass from his hand and bringing it to her lips. Alicia makes a face as the Bourbon hits her taste buds.
“Ick,” She grimaces. “Bourbon will never be my first choice,” she muses. Setting the drink down on a nearby table.
“Hey!” Will protests, bouncing her on his knee. “I was drinking that!”
Alicia cackles boisterously and turns on his lap to straddle him properly, getting him to stop. “You’ll get it back later,” she winks. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Will leans his head back in the chair, cycling through several thoughts and Alicia waits expectantly to see where he lands.
He lets out a frustrated breath, “I was trying to think of ways I could make tonight up for you.”
“Will,” Alicia sighs.
“No, no,” He interjects, swallowing thickly. “I know what you’re going to say but it was our first free night, and I had this whole… thing planned.”
Will couldn’t shake the disappointment of their night falling through.
It felt as though he had been waiting a lifetime to date the love of his life –– because whether Alicia was open to accepting it or not, that’s what she was to him. And a part of him was so sure that she knew that.
He was unwilling to push her but keen to take her lead. He feared if he did push her too quickly, he would lose her entirely and he could not fathom his world without her in it.
So far, Will had been okay with where they were in their… affair . But lately he was starting to crave more.
Ever since Alicia’s been back in his life, since that day in the elevator two years ago, it was almost cruel how their timing seemed so off. How they were separated by a perplexing game of circumstances.
In Chicago, they existed in a series of stolen moments. Tucked away in hotel rooms, in his apartment or hers, at the office. But here, in New York City, there was no one to look over his shoulder. There was no Diane to scrutinize his every move and cry impropriety even though they were both adults, and Alicia’s marriage or whatever it was now , didn’t feel so looming.
Will thought, perhaps even foolishly, that being away from the noise of home, they could shed that version of themselves, however temporary. That he’d finally get the opportunity to really show Alicia who they could be together, and give her a fraction of the happiness she’d given him just by virtue of being back in his life.
But their timing was always so finite.
“Okay,” Alicia says, calling him back. “So, you had a thing planned. Tell me about it.”
Will hums, “What?”
“Tell me,” She leans into him, green eyes bright and curious. “I want to know how Will Gardner would woo me.”
Will’s lips pull up into an amused smile, his heart lifting. He pulls her in closer at the waist, bringing their faces together to kiss her softly.
Between pure luck and a sprinkle of smooth talk, Will secured reservations at Raoul’s in SOHO. The quaint French bistro was fully booked for the date and time he wanted, and he was trying to find ways to persuade the coordinator to fit him in but wasn’t fully succeeding. But as luck would have it, when he was about to give up and look somewhere else, he heard a voice on the other end talk about a last minute cancellation and Will swooped right in.
After dinner, their driver would pick them up and take them to Battery where they would have enough time for a stroll and take in some sights around the park before attending a performance of George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion , which was being put on by a local theater troupe.
“You remembered that?” Alicia asks in amazement, voice catching in her throat.
Will gives her a small tight smile, “I thought you’d like it.”
“I would!” She says quickly. “God, I can’t believe you remembered.”
It was a simple story really… one Alicia recollects sharing during an ice-breaker exercise in one of their intro courses at the start of 1L.
Their professor made them share some rapid fire fun facts about themselves, and she remembers dreading her turn because she couldn’t come up with anything cool to relate. And after searching the deep recesses of her mind for something, she landed on the rather cursory anecdote of Pygmalion being her favorite play after watching her mother, Veronica, play Eliza Doolittle at their local community theater. At the time, after seeing her mother perform, Alicia didn’t think the woman was particularly good but she kept that thought to herself, and she had a new story to obsess over.
“I love you.”
The words surprise both of them, and it’s a beat before either register anyone has spoken at all.
Will readjusts his position in the chair, sitting up straighter and clearing his throat. His eyes widen as his mouth goes slightly slack, and Alicia mirrors his expression.
He lets out a heavy breath –– in through his nose, out his lips.
“Uh…” Will stammers, unsure how to proceed as his brain tries and fails to fill in the gaps.
A wide-range of emotions swirl inside him… from elation to awe, to downright shock.
His heart thumps like a drum in his chest, and his stomach feels like it’s free falling as the words settle over them.
Will studies Alicia’s face for a moment, still looking as stunned as he feels. He reaches gently to swipe the bangs away from her pretty eyes and she bites her lip.
“Before I say anything,” he says tepidly, trying to tread as carefully as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was to spook her, now that the words were out there.
“Are you going to take it back?” He asks cautiously.
Will didn’t really want Alicia to take the words back, but he knew he would let her if she did.
Maybe , he acknowledges to himself, it wasn’t totally wise to push it back on her. They’ve already been through so many pitfalls, and he’s remained compliant with the directions they’ve taken. But since the start of their affair, Will also knew he would always follow Alicia’s lead. Getting hurt was a risk he had been willing to take, and he’d endure it again if he had to, but he needed Alicia to be the one to make the decision if they were to move forward.
Alicia’s brows knit together and she gives him a small solemn smile.
She feels herself deflate a little but she’s no less tense.
He’s right to question her, after all. She’s not entirely oblivious, even if she had intentionally blinded herself to see it.
They’d been stuck in a loop of a pseudo game of tug of war, mostly of Alicia’s making. Where Will would hint at wanting something, she would immediately pull back, he would let her, and round they went. It wasn’t fair to either of them. But she hadn’t known what else to do, she wasn’t ready.
Since the scandal broke, Alicia’s life had been in a constant state of upheaval and she’s only just started to feel like she’s back in control again. Being with Will was something she could control, keeping him at arms length meant he couldn’t get caught in the crossfire between her and Peter’s ire. If she kept Will separate from her mess, he could remain her safe space, unblemished.
At least that’s how she rationalized it to herself. Sure it was safe, but it hurt them all the same. And she feared if she kept pushing him away she’d lose him.
But acting upon her feelings was easier than thinking about what those feelings meant.
There is so much Alicia is still uncertain about –– like what will happen to them once they left their New York bubble. But after tonight and everything else that’s led them to this moment, she wanted to find out with Will, and he had to know that. She recalls the overwhelming feeling from earlier when they were in the shower, how bowled over she was from a simple look, and she realized she wants his eyes on her, always.
There is so much Alicia is still uncertain about, but the one thing she does know is that she is in love with Will Gardner –– and always has been.
So, slowly she shakes her head, “I don’t want to take it back,” Alicia says, steadfast with no trace of hesitation in her voice. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Will Gardner,” she swallows a lump in her throat. “I should have it sooner, but I’ve never been more certain of anything else.”
Will nods, taking a short breath. “Okay,” he says, eyes gleaming as his lips turn upward into a blissful smile. “I love you too.”
And this time –– when he says it, it wasn’t in a voicemail Alicia never got. It wasn’t an awkward slip of the tongue while on the phone and standing on a sidewalk in the middle of the work day. While he had meant it both times, Will finally felt like they were finally on the same page.
He could not have predicted this was how his night was going to end.
A hush falls over them as they get carried off by their individual thoughts, basking under the weight of their declarations.
Alicia rests her face against Will’s cheek, as he pulls the quilt tighter around them. He turns his head to nuzzle her jaw with his nose.
“Will,” she says, breaking through the haze of silence, and he hums in acknowledgement that he’s heard her.
She draws back to look at him, “I want you to make love to me.”
Will blinks at her a few times, straightening them out in the chair. Alicia tries not to laugh as his head swivels around as though they’d get caught the moment agreed.
“What? He raises a brow. “Out here?”
Unable to truly keep it in, she breaks out into a full cackle. “Yes,” she giggles. “We’re forty-four stories high, I think we’re safe.”
Will snorts, a smirk taking over his face. “But what will your parents think?”
Alicia matches his teasing expression with a glint of her own, “They don’t have to know.”
She relishes in the way his body reacts to her as she slides herself against him. “Hurry though, they might be home any minute,” she adds quietly into his ear before nipping at it with her teeth.
“Ha-ha,” Will snickers. “You’re such a kidder.”
His kiss swallows up whatever else she was going to say, hand gliding down her naked back as she reaches for his shorts.
Alicia sighs pleasurably as he enters her –– and if Will hadn’t been holding onto her in that moment, she felt as though she might float away. Briefly, she wonders if making love was always supposed to feel this way. This fulfilling, like, everytime he moves inside her she’s breathing new air. Weightless as she climbs the tallest tree in the forest yet grounded by its branches at the same time.
They stare at each other as they finish, broad smiles on both their faces as they breathe in unison.
Will trails his fingers gently down her arm, “This is crazy romantic.”
A church bell almost drowns out his words, but she hears them.
Alicia turns her head to nuzzle the side of his face, tears pricking at her eyes as she’s suddenly overcome with the only emotion she’s been able to properly identify most prevalently since being with him.
“This is the happiest I’ve ever been.”
Of everything that’s been said tonight, these words grip Will’s heart the tightest. His chest inflates with pride, and the smile that stretches out across his face is perfectly peaceful.
If there was one thing the man had always known –– ever since their days at Georgetown, was that he could make Alicia happy. Now that he knew how she felt, he would spend the rest of his life proving he could keep her that way.
––
Saturday finds the lovers bright and early.
Alicia wakes up to feather light kisses being scattered across her neck and shoulder blade. Her lips pull up pleasantly and she hums, turning over onto her back.
Lazily, she opens one eye and then the other to find Will hovering above her. A besotted look upon his face.
“Morning,” she beams at him, voice still husky with traces of sleep. She puckers up for a kiss –– a request he’s more than happy to grant. Before she can deepen it, however, he’s pulling away from her. A more serious look dawning over his features.
“So,” Will drawls out slowly.
He tries to keep his tone cool and nonchalant but Alicia can spot his signs of cracking. She thinks it’s cute that he’d try . But she sees the flush high on his cheeks, the redding of his ears, and the way his eyes softened just as quickly as they clouded over as he worked out what he wanted to say.
Rather than call him out, she decides to wait, barely managing to keep her own straight face.
“Are we… in love?”
And Will asks that so earnestly, his inflection full of awe and wonderment. Like, he almost can’t believe the previous night actually happened.
Alicia melts, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment before her lips pull up into a charming smile.
“Forever,” she nods, opening her eyes to hold his gaze.
Alicia is so sure that that’s what this is, there was no tremor in her voice as she said it. No longer scared by the depth of her feelings for him.
“Whoa,” Will exhales deeply. His heart feels like it can burst at any minute. “That’s– ”
Alicia puts her hand on his chest, right over his beating heart, sensing he needed some anchoring, “I know. But please don’t have a heart attack on me now,” she jokes.
In turn, Will tries to take a calming breath. “Good,” she coaxes him gently, rubbing his chest. “Now, if you start jumping up and down on this bed like Tom Cruise did on that episode of Oprah, I might have to give it some more thought.”
Will’s body shakes as he laughs, “God, I love you.”
Alicia giggles bubbly, “I love–” but his lips are on her before she can finish that sentence.
“We are going to have to talk about it,” Will says, as he kisses his way down her body.
Alicia wasn’t really interested in talking at that moment, not when her body was slowly being lit on fire.
“We will,” she reassures him. It was going to have to take priority at some point before they went back to Chicago.
The ringing of her phone stops any further action Alicia might have gotten, however.
Mom, pick up the phone.
Grace.
Will backs off almost immediately to let her get up, having learned his lesson the first time.
Alicia chuckles lightly, “It’s okay,” she says, wanting to put him at ease.
Mom, pick up the phone.
Before she leaves his side completely, she grabs his chin to peck his lips. “Just hold that thought, and we’ll talk later, I promise.”
Mom, pick up the phone.
“I gotta get that.”
“Alright,” Will nods. After a quick beat he says, “I’ll call room service.”
Mom, pick up the phone.
Her daughter calling was like a bucket of reality being dumped on her head. Though, Alicia supposed, it would have come sooner or later. She’s checked in on her kids periodically since arriving in New York but so far, she has managed to keep further thoughts of home and the guilt of being away to a minimum.
Alicia hoped, albeit begrudgingly, that between Peter and Jackie, Zack and Grace wouldn’t get into too much trouble. Nevertheless, she still worried about what the effects of being overexposed to Jackie Florrick might do to her teenage daughter.
She finds her phone on the kitchenette counter, “Hey Grace, what’s up?” she answers.
On the other end of the line, the mother is greeted by an exasperated sigh, and that told her everything she needed to know.
Alicia moves to sit on the couch in the living room, “Is everything okay?” she asks.
No.
“No,” Grace intones indignantly, and Alica can practically see the young girl rolling her eyes. “It’s Jackie.”
She tries to repress her own annoyed sigh but her daughter hears her and lets out a tiny laugh. Then more soberly Grace says, “She’s been in rare form since you left, Mom. I don’t know how much more of it I can take.“
Grace launches into a rant about what life has been like with her grandmother for the past two days, and the guilt Alicia had previously staved off comes rearing its ugly head in full force.
She gets an earful of complaints about Jackie’s constant hovering and overbearing attitude.
Grace groans, “Ugh, she’s so judgemental, Mom. If I eat too much, I’ll get fat. If I eat too little, I’ll get too skinny,” she huffs a breath of frustration. “I’m convinced there’s no pleasing that woman. She doesn’t like it when I hang out with Jennifer, but if I stay home she thinks I’m a hermit. At least Zack’s got Nisa. He spends most days with her anyway.”
“Why haven’t you gone out with your brother?” Alicia asks after her daughter’s winded statement.
“No way,” the girl gasps, mildly outraged by the suggestion. “I’m not gonna be their third wheel.”
The front part of Alicia’s brain suddenly pulses at the intake of information. She hadn’t been exactly thrilled about leaving her kids with Peter, but she also couldn’t remember the last time she had taken any time for herself, and that part she didn’t regret.
Unfortunately, leaving Zach and Grace with their father meant they also had to deal with Jackie, whether they wanted to or not.
“Did I tell you, she searched his room?” Grace continues.
“Zach’s room?” The sensation in her head intensifies, and for a moment Alicia wishes she could go back to just a few minutes ago when she was still in bed with Will. The thought only makes her feel slightly contrite.
“What for?”
“I don’t know, Grandma is so weird.”
Alicia hums, irritated. “Where’s your dad? Has he done anything?”
“He told her to back off yesterday,” Grace says. “But he hasn’t been around much either.”
The answer doesn’t shock her. She should have known, however, that Peter would be of little help. He always seemed to make himself scarce when his mother was around.
Alicia needed to think up a way to convince Grace to find a hobby. One that wasn’t posting dance videos on the internet or solely focused on her Bible. If only to give the teenager something else to do that gets her away from her overzealous grandmother.
A knock at the door causes Alicia to turn around, and she smiles as Will tiptoes into the room, apologetic about the interruption.
She watches as he tips the attendant, taking the cart and rolling it as quietly as he could into the bedroom.
“Gosh, I’m sorry,” Grace calls her attention. “Am I interrupting something? All I’ve done is complain.”
Alicia shakes her head even though her daughter can’t see her. “No, honey. It’s just room service.”
“Oh,” the young girl laughs. “Alright, that’s fancy!” And then she adds, “Good for you, Mom. You deserve a vacation.”
“It’s not– ”
“A vacation,” Grace finishes for her, jovially. “I know that’s what you said but… whatever you’re calling it, I’m glad you took some time for yourself.
Alicia’s heart warms at that, and an affectionate smile spreads across her face.
Then, another thought pops into her head. “Have you called Owen, honey? He’s probably free, maybe he can hang out.”
Grace giggles, “You sound certain.”
Alicia pauses, and soon she’s chuckling too. “Hm, I’m not,” she tells her daughter. “I can text him if you want. It was just an idea. It would get you out of the house for a while.”
“Okay, sure.” Grace agrees after a beat of silence. “I can call him too, I guess.”
“Good, good.”
“But if Jackie says something and I say something back, I cannot get in trouble for it later. Okay, Mom?”
Alicia chuckles, “Alight, baby, just pray about it tonight.”
The sound of her daughter’s laughter now, instantly alleviates the pain she had felt in her head only moments ago.
They stay on the phone a few minutes longer before saying their goodbyes, and the conversation doesn’t entirely sully Alicia’s mood, but it was a hard-won fight.
She couldn’t bar Jackie access to her grandchildren, at least not without a confrontation with Peter but they were going to have to come to a consensus about her sometime.
Alicia knew Grace was far too good to truly pushback against her grandmother, but she was also painfully aware that the young girl would eventually internalize every stray comment the older woman threw at her, and that’s what she wanted to prevent.
At sixteen, Zach had found his escape but her fifteen year-old had not been so lucky.
They were far too alike, mother and daughter, in that regard. Though Alicia had several years in learning how to deal with Jackie, and as time had gone on, she cared less and less about the other woman’s opinion of her. Her strange fixation with Peter and the idea of the picture-perfect family had always been a point of contention between them anyway –– and Alicia realized a long time ago, that no matter how hard she had tried, she would never live up to it.
“Hey,” Alicia startles a bit at seeing Will kneeling at her side. “Sorry,” the man apologies. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You okay?”
Her lips pull up into a tense smile, “To be determined,” she says truthfully. “But check back in an hour.”
Will nods, accepting the answer but she can tell he wants to say more. After a brief moment of hesitation, he hums, “Uh, I want to ask but…”
Alicia shakes her head, encouraging, “You can ask,” she tells him. “Please ask.”
There was still so much they had to talk about –– but if they were going to solidify their relationship, Alicia knew she couldn’t keep Will at a distance. She had to let him into all aspects of her life, even the messy parts.
And she’s resolved rather quickly that she wants to tell him. It’ll be good to share her burdens with someone who’s actually willing to listen.
“Ask,” she repeats. “Because if you’re going to be part of this, we’re kind of a package deal.”
“Alright,” Will agrees. “How are things back at home?”
It’s a simple question, but it means so much to her.
Alicia smiles gently before letting out a loaded breath. “Well,” she starts. “Grace is budding heads with her grandmother again. Jackie is… a lot.” she scoffs, “I’ll tell you more about her later. But this is something that happens often.”
Will moves his head in accession, “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen,” he squeezes her knee in a reassuring gesture.
“Thank you,” Alicia leans forward to connect their lips chastely.
Suddenly, she feels unloading everything. Share every pent-up frustration she’s bottled up since Peter was released from prison, but she decides to table that for the moment. Instead, she nods toward the food cart in the bedroom.
“So, what did you get?”
Will smiles excitedly at her, “Happy you asked!” He gets up heading towards the room and Alicia follows behind him.
He begins to point things out as he lifts the cloches off the dishes, “We’ve got: French toasts, Chocolate Chip pancakes, eggs over easy, more bagels and lox. I really enjoyed that yesterday– ”
“I can tell,” She laughs.
“Freshly cut strawberries,” Will continues, “and of course, coffee.”
Alicia grabs the plate of French toast, “Wow, did you leave anything for anyone else?” she ribs, moving to sit on the bed.
“Ha!” Will snickers, “Funny,” he reaches for the plate of pancakes and a few strawberries. “I was going to share some of this,” he motions towards his plate, “but now I don’t know.”
Alicia just guffaws heartily at that.
“When was the last time you had breakfast in bed?” He asks as he gets comfortable before digging into his food.
She considers his question, “Um, Mother’s Day 2005… I believe. It was soggy Corn Flakes and a Zebra cake.” Her lips uptick fondly at the memory, remembering how in an effort to keep quiet, her kids were very loud. “It was very sweet.”
Her mind wanders as they eat, and Will tells her about the ideas he’s come up with on how to fill up the rest of their time in the city.
“I asked David Lee to draw up divorce papers,” She says casually, stealing a piece of fruit off of Will’s plate.
Why not, Alicia sighs internally. Since we’re in such a revelatory mood lately, what’s one more. All the cards out on the table.
Will chokes on the bite of strawberry that had yet to make it fully down his throat, and she claps at his back in an attempt to help him.
He gapes at her, but she’s still as cool as ever, as if she hadn’t just dropped some potentially life-changing news on him.
“What?” he coughs. “When?”
“A few months ago,” Alicia shrugs one shoulder, reaching over him to pour them some coffee.
Will tracks her movements with his eyes, dazed. He couldn’t help marveling, however, at how calm she was. “O-Okay– ” He’s at a loss on how to end that sentence. He was barely sure he’d even spoken at all.
“It’s not– ”
Alicia sets a mug of hot coffee in his frozen hand and then settles back against the headboard with her own, “No,” she says. “Well, not really.”
“But it would help, wouldn’t it?”
She finally makes eye contact with him, and he’s staring at her intently, thunderstruck.
“I’m going to tell David to file them when we get back,” Alicia continues. If she looks cool on the outside, it’s only a mirage.
She certainly does not feel that on the inside.
The only reason Alicia hasn’t cracked under the pressure of her frantic heart is because she hasn’t stopped rambling. She figured if she could just get the words out, they’d finally become tangible.
Her desire to be truly free from the shambles of her marriage was great, but her desire to be Will’s wholly and completely was greater, and she was going to do something about it.
“Alicia,” Will interjects, taking their plates and mugs and placing them back on the cart.
Alicia frowns at the action, and if Will hadn’t felt so stumped he would have smiled, “Breakfast can wait,” he tells her hurriedly. He urged his brain to process her words faster.
Will was grappling with the fact that he just might get the one thing he’s always wanted. If the confessions from the night before left him reeling into the morning, he was definitely out to sea now.
He needs Alicia to pull him back in.
“You’re getting a divorce?”
She had given him a lot of information in a manner of a few short minutes, but he was still stuck at the beginning.
“Yes,” she answers patiently. “I think I have to if we want to move forward.” She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from saying more, wanting to give him time to absorb what she’s saying.
Perhaps , Alicia thinks, she should have done this earlier. She could have given them a cleaner start. If she hadn’t been so focused on salvaging whatever dignity she had left back then, she might have realized it would have been easier to let that version of herself go.
“Holy shit,” Will breathes out and this does make Alicia laugh lowly.
She moves to sit between his legs, her back to his chest, and his arms automatically circle around her.
“I’m just… ” Alicia lets out a staggered sigh. “I’m tired of living my life according to other people, Will.” She looks straight ahead as she says it, preferring to watch their reflection in the mirror on the wall in front of them. “For once, I want to put myself first, and that means picking us. I pick us.”
She turns her head to meet his gaze, and she’s met with glossy and wondrous eyes that match hers. “You make me so… unbelievably happy. I don’t want that to end when we leave here.”
Emotion lodges in the back of Will’s throat, he gulps down to be able to speak. He swipes a gentle thumb below her eye, “I want this to work Alicia.”
“So do I,” the woman nods.
“I’ve been in love with you since I was 23 years-old.”
“I know,” she murmurs. “And I should have said something then, should have been bolder.”
Will dips his head to kiss her, his lips moving over hers sweetly as she reaches for his neck to deepen it.
What’s past is prologue, right? Neither of them could go back to Georgetown and make different choices, but there was still time to determine what their future could like,
together.
“Holy shit,” Will says again against her mouth, once they’ve broken for air and Alicia howls out a laugh.
“There is still the matter of custody though,” she tells him. Her face morphing into something more somber. That is a hurdle she is not looking forward to. “I’m not asking Peter for anything except for my kids. But I don’t expect him to go quietly.” She exhales roughly. Alicia didn’t anticipate her soon-to-be ex-husband to let her go easily, she was way too good for his image. And she knew he hated Will, having suspected there had been something between them long before anything had actually happened. Getting the man to comply to the terms that’d been set in the divorce would be an uphill battle.
“I want you to be sure of what you’re getting into,” her eyes search his face, beseechingly. “Being with me means you’re going to get a lot of… that.”
A part of her wishes she could protect Will from whatever Peter might decide to throw at them once he finds out. He was certainly not above exploiting his power.
But Will doesn’t seem worried –– quite the opposite, in fact.
It’s reassuring to Alicia to see how much faith he holds for them in his eyes. Like, he knows they could weather any storm as long as they’re together, even when she doesn’t always feel as confident as she lets on. He makes her believe that they can.
“I can deal with Peter,” Will says. “I want to be with you. And only you. Forever.”